#(which i didn’t really in college)

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

anyway shout out to other people in the dead parent club who are going through important benchmarks in life and keep wildly oscillating between celebrating and grieving

#having. a day today. #i would just like life to go so easy on me please #it’s. i mean im happy and excited but i wanted my dad to be here for this yknow #he was supposed to be helping me with the process originally and he didn’t even get to do that but now im getting the fruits of my labours #back and he can’t be here to celebrate with me #i just miss him #i always thought he’d be here to celebrate with me about getting into college and now im officially Going To College and got my first #decision back today and it was an acceptance which is really exciting but like #he’s not here. and he’s not gonna be here and he’s not gonna be able to celebrate with me #his birthday is coming up too #and we’re gonna be with family for thanksgiving so we’re either gonna dance around the topic awkwardly or they’re gonna talk about him #and i don’t know which is worse #anyway. having a day today #vent tw #dead parent #dead dad

[imperpetuallylost]

kinda crazy but…

im gay for you

:o no way i’m also gay for u <3

#also i’m fucking exhausted it was a long ass day of robot #i broke down crying for no reason in the middle of my last tech interview for drama #because i was so fucking stressed abt hosting the robotics comp this weekend and waiting on college decisions #and also two of my friends were like in the hospital at the time #one bc they hadn’t eaten in like a week because of an ed and we’re doing really badly #and the other because they had to get stitches bc of sh #but i couldn’t really explain alllll of that to my drama teacher #anyway #i did hear back from one of the schools tho!!!!! and i got in!!!!!! #but they didn’t give me as much money as i would have needed to commit there #so like i probably won’t end up going even tho i really loved the school and it’s kinda my top choice #and also the accepted students days all conflict and i ended up signing up for one that would mean id miss the end of district champs #for robotics if we qualify #which my hopes are vaguely high this year #but now i’m gonna have to miss part of it if we do :///// #and the other more competitive one i’m waiting on hearing from some time this weekend i’ve been checking the portal like every twenty minute #it’s really bad #anyway i’m gonna go take a shower and then go to sleep before i drive myself to another breakdown #idk why the tags of this ask was my place to say all of this but it sure was

[taketheringtolohac]

When people are like “the only time I skipped class in college was–“ THE ONLY TIME???? IN COLLEGE???? Like hs is one thing sure ok it can be a lot harder but IN COLLEGE? WHEN YOUR BED IS RIGHT THERE? makes me realize someone is lead very different lives.

#like good lord. so many of my skipped classes wre bc I literally just didn’t wanna get out of bed. and didn’t fucking care #but not the point! the point is in all four years you only skipped one class. sorry I’m just in awe. #and like ok to be fair there’s a lot of ppl who really do take college very very seriously and as an opportunity for them to better #themselves and their families and obviously there’s nuance and some ppl view it as like I am paying for this I am squeezing every last penny #which also fair. again. nuance. but you rlly never once said I’m quite sad and it’s 9 am I’m going back to bed. damn.

[keclan]

on my 18th birthday, one of my family friends had a heart attack, and while my stepdad was visiting him at the hospital, someone broke a window at our house and robbed us. set the bar low for adulthood so everything has been mostly improvement for me 👍

#my birthday money all got stolen #but it was really nice my moms coworkers passed a hat around to get me some birthday money which was very sweet #my 19th birthday i told all my new college friends that my last birthday was awful #and they spent the whole day with me and threw me a really nice party #so that was definitely one of my best #my 21st birthday i stayed up all night the night before playing dragon age #and i didn’t want to sleep through my birthday so i just stayed up #and at dinner i was falling asleep at the table and the waitress came over and said #after just one drink? #in a really patronizing tone #i’ll have you know i’m falling asleep on this table for much stupider reasons lady #even my 2020 birthday was pretty ok bc zoe sent me the winchester dean sweatshirt

[sadgirlautumn]

As much as I love Gilmore Girls I really wish I could rewrite it because so many choices the writers made me like why would you do this????

#to be fair I only watched the show in full once 2 years ago but the one thing that really bothers me #is that Jess (one of my favorite characters ever probably) is sent to live with his uncle aka Luke because he’s causing trouble and his mom #can’t handle it or whatever and then later in the show she becomes a prominent character and gets rebranded and has a horribly unfunny #husband and it’s just like???? why didn’t they show her trying to become a better mother to Jess first??? why did they just have to bring #her in as some sort of quirky character who is essentially just a problem for Luke to deal with which gave him an excuse to ignore the love #of his life Lorelei #just so much of the show makes me want to pull my hair out but god I felt so empty when I watched all the episodes it really filled a void #in my life as someone who never went to actual high school or college and it was fun to see a girl do the things that I imagined I would do #when I was older back when I was like 6 and didn’t understand how life worked #anyway #I need to sleep #autumn rambles

[itspileofgoodthings]

How did you first start listening to Taylor Swift? You're the one who introduced me to her when Lover came out—thank you for that!!

aww I love that!! Lover is such a great one to be your first Taylor album too—so much range. Happy four years of you being a Taylor fan! 💜💜💜

So, my long-time pen-pal sent me Fearless for my 14th birthday. She actually burned me a cd and then made me a personal lyric book with a birthday note from her in the front 😭😭😭 and that was a personal enough gift to make me fall in love with any artist but especially because it was Taylor it was just an instant blaze of me loving her so much (but also, because I’m me not knowing or understanding who I was loving or why until years later.) (But I mean, I guess that’s also being 14.)

That was the Fall of 2009 and I was a freshman in high school!

#I don’t speak to the friend anymore which is low-key devastating to me #like. We were pen-pals from 3rd grade to my senior year of high school and she came out to my high school graduation! #but then second year of college we both just stopped talking. like nothing happened but suddenly all this time and distance had passed #I might ask her if she ever wants to reconnect on a phone call sometime though. #I never want to be a bother but also I know that that is a worry that goes both ways and isn’t really worth entertaining #It has always Troubled me that it just ended. But at the time I didn’t even know it was happening. Kind of when I started using tumblr tbh #like. that was the end #anyway that was not what you asked!!!

[gale-in-space]

Dude I miss being in an orchestra :’(

#i didn’t talk to anyone in the college one but it was so cool being surrounded by professional musicians #high school band was my true happy place though #even if all my friends hated it. i loved it so much #it gave me a sense of community and i was good at it! i was really good! #i mean sure i never thought i was ACTUALLY good but i was fuckin first chair every single year #i was the fucking concert master which isn’t much but it feels like a big deal #anyways idk. i just miss it. i wish my clarinet was in better condition and i wish i could still play #sigh anyway. i really do need to stop posting so much #sorry

[peachcitt]

oh my god college life

#peach stuff #i was supposed to work on my final project for my english class today and i didn’t #but i wrote a page and a half yesterday. gonna spend all of tomorrow workin. so . maybe it’ll be alright. who knows. #i have a full unit assignment due a few days after American thanksgiving that i haven’t started i don’t really know what’s going on there #presumably i’ll have that done by next monday #next friday i have my capstone (thesis? end of major project?) presentation that ive invited my family and my teacher that I’ve been #showdowing for the past year. as well as all of my professors. so presumably it has to be good #and good god all my shit is catching up to me. i don’t really have much of breaks. but i am taking breaks anyways to get drunk. #god . college life is so fucked up #go to college but also keep your expectations for it normal. you’re not going to do more #(unless you’re not for sure neurotypical in which case. have fun) #but if you’re neurotypical or undiagnosed. be sure to pack coping strategies or learn new ones #because holy fuck. goddamn. .i have not beeen doing well #anyways goodnight unless i say something else . in which case who gives a fuck. #just . don’t ever listen to me. that’s the lesson to be learned #goodnight

[stellaelillac]

My husband is having this dnd campaign where he has a dragon and i told him about the fourth wing book that has this college for dragon riders and how he would like to read it and that i really want to read it too and he not only actually got interested to read the book, he bought it for both of us to read and pre ordered the sequel, iron flame. I love this man so much ! 🥹

#‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ooc / let yourself go and start at the rainbow. #i still didn’t finish the sun and the stars book hsuahsua #now i have to until monday when fourth wing arrives lmao #also i know that fourth wing is more than just a college for dragon riders #i actually told him what the book is about and he read the synopsis too #so he really took the interest in the book #which i am very happy tbh bc we will read it together 💜 #*the sun and the star book

[wifegideonnav]

ran into my ex best friend today. so that sucked.

#like thank god we didn’t actually interact #i was at my college’s scene shop meeting with its head abt a project #and he just happened to be there #but he kept fucking looking at me #fucking infuriating #at least my friend [redacted] was there #even tho we’re at a weird place rn. some of you may have seen. the posts abt that. el oh el. #at the very least she and I aren’t fighting it’s just tense bc she’s dealing with shit and needs space #whatever I’m getting off topic #almost cried in the car on the way home but like. im fucking done crying over that friendship #even though I have to remind myself that every time I think about it I am literally done #it just sucks cause it would be so much easier if he’d been a really shitty friend. but he was BOTH a shitty friend and a really good one #and I didn’t want that friendship to end. even though looking back I think it’s probably for the best that it did #but yeah. felt like a low blow from the universe to be reminded of losing him at the same time im temporarily losing ms redacted #which is a whole other vent post that im not actually gonna make bc I talked it through pretty well with my best-best friend #honestly it was a little poetic #whatever #personal

[arthur-r]

tonight is my last night sleeping in my bed. possibly for the rest of my life. and my last time in my room possibly for the rest of my life. and i want to just get a good night’s sleep to be ready for a long day tomorrow but it’s really not working out like that.

#my family is still up in the air maybe selling this house within the next month #in which case i will never be in this room ever again. otherwise i will be back for the holidays so there’s still a month of this bedroom #if we sell the house in the spring instead (only rational option there’s no way we can empty it in time) #especially since i will not be in this house whatsoever until after that sell date. my mom all by herself can’t empty it all #anyway i’m struggling a bit. saying goodbye to my home of 14 years???? #i’ve been through a lot in this place and most of it is bad memories but like. every good memory i have is from here too…. #and everyone i know irl is staying local i’m the only one who’s leaving. one irl friend is going to the same school as me but we had a fight #within the past month and i don’t think we’re ever going to recover because she just kind of never treated me like a person #so i’m starting from scratch and it’s really.. like fuck i want to get out of here but i’m also not at all ready to actually leave #i’m just going to miss all the stupid little things so much. even my online memories are tied to this place #like the woods down the street where my deer friends live and the ditch i fell into back in the day and all the places i’ve gotten lost #and they’ll be right here waiting for me and i’m SO excited for college i am but why does it have to feel so sudden???? #i dont know how anyone does it.. and all my friends are going to colleges in their hometown so i don’t even have anyone to compare with #i found out today that if we keep the house through the winter my mom is planning on using my room as a guest room and office. and of course #that makes sense and everything but now i have the most crushing guilt for not cleaning it up well enough. i thought it would be okay and #i’d just have to deal with it when i come back and i didn’t know she wanted to use it and she’s going to box up all of my things without me #and i feel guilty that i didn’t do that and i feel scared and upset because it’s my things and my room i don’t want it to change #i’m just really anxious and sad and scared and i don’t know what to do. school is going to be good but none of this feels real or normal #and i just feel sick and scared and i don’t know what to do. waking up at 8am and leaving at 9am and moving in at 2pm and that will be it #my mom and sister are staying for a couple days and that will be good i hope. i dont know i feel so conflicted about everything #and i’m tired and sick and angry and overwhelmed and i just want to take a week off and come back alive again #and i guess that’s what i’m about to do.. after i move in there’s eight days before college starts and all i’ll be doing is moving in #(and welcome week activities. and a lot of sleeping. but hopefully i’m gonna get a rollator through a loan program and that will help a lot) #anyway here’s what’s going on. i’m going to maybe try to sleep i guess. but if anyone has advice or encouragement about moving to college.. #now is the time i really need it. it’s just so strange and conflicted and everyone i know has been telling me i just need to get out of here #and myself included i really want to get out of here. but how can i start anew when everyone i’ve loved is shattered. and what have you #think i have to listen to that song for long enough to remember how badly i want to leave…. #i’m just really not feeling well. i’m angry that i never got to have the childhood i deserved #because now i’m leaving and that means it’s officially over…. i’m just really not feeling well. i think i’m running out of tags…. #i hope you all are well. i’ll be around in the morning maybe.. i’m not sure. hope everyone has a good night

[araindropshallfall]

oh man pacing issues are my number one criticism with anything but I don’t think it’s nearly as bad as I’m seeing people say it is on the sex lives of college girls???? Like it’s not neat and tidy but they have four protagonists and ~5 hours of narrative so I don’t think it’s all that bad considering

#the sex lives of college girls #tslocg #really I think it only became a distraction during parts of Bela’s #I think what makes the pace jarring during Bela’s stuff is that she doesn’t overthink #so her actions move quickly which doesn’t let conflict sit #so I’m kinda hoping with everything that happened she’s going to slow down and her plot will too #and then also I think we coulda used a touch more time with Alicia before her and Leighton got back together #and I didn’t care about Jackson but we spent a little too long on him to dump him that quick #but those are literally my only issues with pacing I think everything else worked out fine? #I also feel like what bothered me about pacing in the beginning didn’t bother me in the end with the big picture

[dark-magical-ships]

Y’know. As much as I love sharing f/os (like I genuinely love sharing, it is absolutely the best if jealously/anxiety of that type is not an issue for you), and as much as I enjoy writing…. You would think I would write x Reader fics for Seto, huh

#or really any of the other f/os but Seto primarily #I’ve never really tried? I didn’t even know they were a thing until I found the selfship community not even a whole year ago #imagine self shipping for 10 years and never knowing x Readers exist. I was DEPRIVED #anyway. might try that sometime idk. maybe if I can ever figure out a story I want to tell for a more generalized Reader #the closest thing I’ve ever done is 4th Wall which is in first person but the protagonist definitely has a name and her name is my name #as such it has s lot of details from my life. Amy is curvy like I was in high school right now…. #but as time passes and certain medical stuff happens she’ll gain weight in college. idk how much of that will get into her diary… #since I just genuinely have never cared about my weight. but the more I see shippers talk about themselves… #the more I think I really ought yo emphasize this a bit. #since she’s me she’s also technically a masc-aligned trans person who eventually ought to be using he/she pronouns #for the sake of narrative simplicity I probably won’t be depicting this directly… #but if I think of a really cool way to sneak it in I will :P #but 4th Wall isn’t really the point here. the POINT is that I really like to share f/os but Kenna’s off the Kaiba train #and I miss the headcanon exchange :’) #anyway you’d really think I’d try writing some Y/N fic huh. maybe I’ll try it sometime… idk #I’d want it to be gender-neutral but also race-neutral and work for any body type. short ficlets are one thing but a long story #that can’t make the MC's attributes too detailed would be a challenge for sure #hmm. thoughts #🐉💙 cocoashipping 💙🐉 #kinda but not exactly lol

[indigothreads]

tired of not feeling like a real person.

#tired of being rejected. tired of not having any rhythm in my life. #tired of waking up in three mornings and going to sleep at night and having to figure out what to do with the time in between. #tired of having to pretend to be excited about having a future when really all i feel is ashamed and humiliated that i’m close to worthless #a future? i’ve never had that. not in my head. #i ham it up about being mostly done with having ptsd which is funny considering it got diagnosed 10 years after i developed it #but really the worst symptom and the one i’ve never been able to stop is that i cannot picture having a future #it was easy for a while bc all i had to do was go to college. it didn’t matter that i didn’t want anything or make any plans #and now im done with school and i’ve done nothing since and i cant. make myself. want something. i can’t picture being alive in 5 years. #i never could but at least when i was 15 i had the stock image of College #i’m never ever going to stop being that 9 year old who never thought a day into the future because It might happen again tomorrow. #i’m still sleeping in that nine year olds bedroom.

[iloveyoumorethansoup]

Ok college review now that I’m almost a month in. I’ve gained nothing from this experience but a janky apartment that I love

#no literally like. I’m not a people person. so that aspect of college doesn’t appeal to me #and also I’m in 4 classes. my library science one I was excited for is entirely geared towards being a school librarian and teaching #so I’m out here making lesson plans. which I have negative interest in being a teacher #my business class is structured in a way that makes lectures useless but I’m required to go #my theatre class. we haven’t really started anything so my opinion is neutral but tainted by last years experience. 2.5 out of 10 #my programming class is fun though. I’ll be the one programming sketchy apps now #i do really love my apartment #but yeah. i don’t often leave it. and god people love to knock at my door and windows #i don’t like. wanna shut myself in and not speak to anyone ever. but I’m not saying I’d hate that either #bc ok. last year I talked to two people. one of which didn’t come back this year and the other one who chronically cancels plans #but also just in general. confuses me?? like bestie will do something and I’m just like. why #oh but there’s 2 guys who live above me I know. one of which was the one banging on my window at 1am wasted #the other guy is nice but also talking to him tends to tire me out bc he’s the type of person who has to be right #not in like an argumentative way. moreso the type to repeat himself and rephrase things until ur like fine fine ok #also a tiny bit of a show off/one upper type #but I do have my friend who lives a good 45 mins away we see each other often and it’s fun #so yeah that’s my academic stuff and my social circle summary! #also. my ex best friend? lived 45 mins away. same city. saw her like 2-3 times the whole year. she could have done so much better #but yeah. i don’t do much in college and am 97% certain I’m taking a gap year to go hang out at my summer job #soup talks

[loveofmylouis]

.

#I got an amazing like out of this world job offer today #like one that I didn’t even think was possible at this point in my career because I don’t graduate until next month #like I’m shocked about it #it’s supposed to be confidential but this is tumblr so anyways I’ve been in the dental assisting program for the past year and I’ll be done #in a few weeks #and I also have a previous associates degree and my last professor texted me earlier this week asking me to meet with her Friday #and I’ve honestly been terrified all week because I could only think it would be bad news #but she freaking offered me a job teaching dental assisting at the college with her #I’m shocked #teaching dental assisting and I’m not even graduated yet I’m the literal definition of flabbergasted #it would only be part time as an adjunct but I’d still be making almost double an hour than I would as a dental assistant #and I could also since it’s only part time be a temp traveling dental assistant #so it’s like an amazing opportunity #but I’d be so nervous about it because I know nothing about teaching and teaching people your age seems so weird and stressful #she gave me a couple of weeks to think about it so I’ll definitely be thinking #it’s a great opportunity but I’m scared she has too much faith in me #but she did say she’s been teaching this program for 19 years and has never approached a student with something like this #so it’s really like once in a lifetime #I’m leaning towards yes but I’ll definitely need to think more about it #the only downside is if I wanted to go on to do it full time I’d need to get a bachelors degree which shouldn’t be too hard I have a lot of #credits to would tranfer #I think typing this has made me lean even more towards yes #but I had to share I can’t really tell anyone else besides people close to me