#but i couldn’t really explain alllll of that to my drama teacher | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

imfuxingdone · 4 years

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I’m getting kicked out of the house during a pandemic.

Ohhhhh boy y’all this is a vent to end all vents so buckle them seat belts.

Ok so, (I know I start my vents this way all the time it’s how I talk and think.) my mom, sister, and I were all in the same room. My sister asks to do something and my mom is like “No way.” at first, and then she starts to raise her voice at my sister who’s just trying to understand why she can’t do what she asked. And my mom goes “ugh I don’t want to argue with you.” In a super upset argumentative tone of voice. So to defend my little sister I say, “Well, I understand what’s she’s trying to say Mom.” And my mom does not have any issue with this comment or the fact that I’m chiming in. In fact, she agrees with me at first and is like, “Oh absolutely I understand what she’s trying to say.” But it of course doesn’t stop there.

My mom keeps interrupting my sister with her upset argumentative tone of voice, and I again, wanting to defend my sister, say “Again Mom, she’s just trying to _______. You don’t have to make an argument about it. You don’t have to win. She’s just trying to have a conversation.” This pisses my mom off. “You’re not a part of this conversation please walk away.” is what she told me. So I tell her, “So because I’m right you don’t want to listen to me all of the sudden? I was literally just a part of this conversation and you didn’t have a problem with it.” She becomes adamant that I was never a part of the conversation, and asks me to walk away again. So I just walk away and say, “Fine, win your argument then.” (I know, dumb.)

This is where alllll the drama happens. I walk into my room and close the door hoping I deflected enough of my mom’s anger onto myself to defend my sister and go to clean up my dresser. My mom walks into my room and starts to have an argument with me. She goes on and on about how she just hates arguing with me. (I still don’t understand why everytime we argue she brings this up when she is the one that continues the conversation until I give up or have a meltdown?) She tells me stuff that doesn’t make any logical sense, like how, “this arguement isn’t about my comment.” But, then she proceeds to make the conversation all about my comment. She also told me I didn’t walk away when she asked me to. I literally just looked at her and said multiple times, “Where am I right now? Of course I walked away. I was in the living room and now I’m in my room.” And then when she realized she wasn’t making sense she goes, “Yeah ok, you did walk away but you made that comment as you walked away.”

Again, I just looked at her and told her, “What, you never said I couldn’t say anything. You told me to walk away and I did.” We go back and forth like this a few times. And then she keeps on talking about how she doesn’t understand why I can’t improve my behavior, (I’m literally the calmest and most controlled sounding I’ve ever been in an argument and I’m proud AF of myself.) I tell her that it the issue is she doesn’t improve her behavior so I’m not super motivated to make any changes to my behavior, (although I have anyway because I want to become a better person just for myself.) so as long as she doesn’t recognize her poor behavior, the two of us will forever be stuck in a vicious loop. AKA communication is a two way street.

She asks me if I want to listen to her, and I finally stand up to her and just say, “No, I don’t want to listen to you because you will never see any problem with your behavior.” This pisses her off to high heaven. She proceeds to yell at me (remember I’m irritated but not yelling and relatively calm.) something about how I’m supposed to understand something. (I blocked it out because yelling makes me have like mini panic attacks and freak out.) She then tells me I have only 30 minutes to “pack [my] shit, and get out.” I start to panic and tell her “hang on, I need time to process!” She tells me that “You don’t get time to process!” I really start to panic here and repeat myself. “I need time to process! It’s how my brain naturally works, I can’t just turn it off!” She eloquently explains that she “doesn’t give a shit.”

She for some reason starts watching me pack my backpack frantically and I ask her “Are you seriously going to watch me?” She just has this fucked up look on her face like she enjoys watching me panic (I literally will never forget it for as long as I live.) She looks me directly in the eye and says eerily calm, “I don’t know what I’m going to do.” Which still doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me??? At some point she must have closed my door, I don’t know everything was a blur as I tried to get my essentials in 30 minutes. I’m then called out to the living room. I sit down to put my other shoe on as I’m sitting there wearing three layers. (If you know, you know why.) My step-dad must have told her to calm tf down because I was told I have until Friday afternoon to make a decision about where I’m going to live. I also was given the option to stay, but judging by the situation that had just happened I was scared shitless that if I stayed the whole thing was going to replay itself ASAP, so I opted for the Friday afternoon plan.

I’m going to move out of state because where I live now I literally cannot afford it. I’m thinking about not telling my other family out of state and just surprising them because I’m 99% sure if I told that part of the family or literally anyone who has met my mom they won’t believe this ever happened. My mom is like a teacher when the principal walks in whenever she is anywhere other than the house.

#trauma #trauma memes #traumatized child #im traumatized #vent post #vent tw #vent #vent blog #emotional abuse #bad parenting #abusive mom

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jamofappreciation · 7 years

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Rules: Answer the 11 questions asked and create 11 more questions!

I was tagged by @onemorelurker for this first one. Thank you!!

Do you like technology and gadgets? Despite being of the age generally thought ‘intuitive’ about such things, I don’t enjoy the frequent problems they have. I appreciate what technology can do for me, but I think it’s often too much trouble.

Android or Mac? Mac

What book are you reading right now (or you read last)? Would you recommend it and why? I’m reading Bucky F*cking Dent! I would recommend it because a very special puppy dog wrote it. ;) Also I like baseball.

What is the word or phrase you say a lot? I use the Dumb & Dumber quote, “Big Gulps, huh? Well...see ya later” a lot. Stupid, I know.

Favourite attire to be in at home? Shorts & tank top with a blanket wrapped around me, or pajamas. Favourite activity to relax? Watching a show or a film, or lying down listening to music.

What trait do you like about yourself? How competitive and sarcastic I am, but also the grace I extend to people.

How did you discover Tumblr, why you stayed? After my suuuuper quick first-time watch of XF I wanted to find out literally everything about everything and came across FYDG (I’ll sing her praises forever--test me) and read the whole archive. Created an actual account when S10 filming started and stayed for the fab peeps.

Is there a thing you like or like to do and people get amused when they discover it? I don’t know if it fits exactly, but I think people are most surprised by how much I know either about movies or baseball/sports in general.

Are you a pet person or a plant person? Pets 100%. I get this from my mother.

What do you like about the city/town you live right now? It’s small. I go to my favorite coffee shop and can see my favorite people without having to plan to meet up.

Tagged by @stupideffinbee for this second one. Thank you! Since you didn’t write new questions I chose your second set. :) Oh and I think these are the questions @chileananderson answered as well, who also tagged me. Thanks, love!

18: What was the last thing you ate? A blueberry muffin. 19: What are you listening to right now? Happy Valley (BBC show on Netflix) 20: If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Grey or red 21: Favorite smell? Vanilla 22: Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? My boss 23: Favorite sport to watch? Baseball and basketball 24: Hair color? dirty blonde (it gets closer to brown every year and I hate it) 25: Eye color? Blue 26: Do you wear contacts? Oh yes. Couldn’t function without them! 28: Scary movies or comedy? Comedy. But really I prefer intense. 29: Last movie you watched? Split 30: What color of shirt are you wearing? Black and grey 31: Summer or winter? Winter alllll the way. 32: Hugs or kisses? Hugs 33: What book are you currently reading? Bucky F*cking Dent 34: Who do you miss right now? My grandma--her birthday was the day before mine 35: What is on your mouse pad? I don’t have one 36: What is the last TV program you watched? Happy Valley 37: What is the best sound? Someone playing the piano 38: Rolling Stones or The Beatles? The Beatles 39: What is the furthest you have ever traveled? Thailand 40: Do you have a special talent? I can juggle? 41: Where were you born? Oregon

@a-january-girl tagged me and gave me these questions! Thank you so much, girl!

1. Can you explain your choice of online handle? This delectable quote from DD himself. "We worked together for so long that by the time the series ended we had enough of each other. But six years having passed, it’s like – I don’t make jam, but I’m assuming you pour away the boiling liquid – so after six years the liquid is all boiled off, and all that remains is the jam of appreciation.”

2. What is your favorite thing about being a woman? Ooh. I suppose being so close to my mom/my grandma when she was alive/my sisters, etc.

3. But what if you could be a man for one day, what would you do and how would you spend it? Perhaps I’d do some really lovely things for some equally lovely women. Show them some appreciation. And probably also see how strong I was.

4. If you had not had the job you have now, what other job would you have liked to do? White House Chief of Staff (for President Bartlet preferably)

5. Can you tell us about a teacher you’ll never forget? I love this question because I love teachers. My junior year English teacher was funny, knew his stuff, and was so down to Earth and he made me want to teach. He made everything relevant. Mostly he’s just an amazing man and we still keep in touch.

6. Do you have any talents that we don’t know of? I can sing.

7. What is the very first XF fic you remember reading? (with a link, it’s even better 😉) I had no idea so I looked back in my archive and found THIS POST which is apparently my introduction to fanfic! I find that so crazy since I’m in SO DEEP at this point. Here is the link to the fic. And I guess I owe a massive thanks to @contradiction-to-nature!!

8. What’s the most precious object/thing you own? The book my grandmother wrote about her life or the cds my grandpa recorded for us. Equally precious.

9. When was the last time you got really drunk? I’ve never gotten drunk.

10. What’s the most unprofessional thing you’ve done? I guess discussed with a coworker how we disliked a different coworker.

11. Would you rather give up sex entirely for the rest of your life, or give up chocolate AND pizza AND take out instead? Dude. Rude. I...I just...I’m that scene where Joey says “Food, no, sex. No! Food. Sex. Food. I can’t!” So just know I'll regret it instantly when I say sex.

My Questions:

1. Who is your biggest influence?

2. What’s your favorite comfort t.v. show?

3. Funny shows or drama shows?

4. Where do you feel the safest?

5. When was the last time you wrote a letter? To whom?

6. If you had to dedicate a mural to someone, who would it be?

7. Describe your handwriting. :)

8. If you could suspend time for a year and live somewhere else where would it be?

9. If you could have another accent which one would it be?

10. What is your favorite article of clothing?

11. What’s your phone’s lock screen?

I know everyone has probably done this but I’ll tag @ellivia @edierone @kateyes224 @sunflowerseedsandscience @dinascully @chileananderson @starrynight-over-thepast @storybycorey

#personal #thank all of you for the tags :)#sorry I took so long

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