Tumgik
#(well actually just for joel because apparently everyone else knew to bring their own. this is somehow porko's fault)
theflyingfeeling · 1 year
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For some reason I was thinking about BC’s Fuck marry kill and how everyone else joked around but Joel was all serious about his ”I’d fuck Olli because he’s the most handsome” -answer 😭 like yes we been knew you’re sexually attracted to him (him filming him half naked doing yoga and all that) but. really?? 😭
(and for legal reasons this is a joke)
Joeeeeeellll your bisexuality is showing agaaiiinn 🙄
I mean, I'm convinced the whole fucking band is sexually attracted to Olli (who's completely oblivious to it and think the others are just messing with him) because who woudn't be, honestly?
Tommi commenting how Olli always looks good?
Niko saying Olli is the most handsome in the band?
Joonas having a whole-ass sexual awakening watching Olli paint a broccoli shamrock on his chest? (Yes, I may have stared at a gif of this for unreasonably long yesterday)
To conlcude, they all a little gay for Olli 💕
#we're ALL gay for olli aren't we 🥰#although in joonas' defence he's a little gay for everyone#(also i don't just randomly stare at BC gifs in my freetime! i was looking for another picture and just came across that lol#hence i have a vivid image of it imprinted on my brain currently)#but WHERE is my yoga instructor!olli and beginner yoga trainee!joel fic??#he enrolled for the beginner yoga class because his therapist and his mom and porko thought it might be good for him#(he's not quite as positive and porko would literally walk him to the yoga studio to drop him off like a child at day-care)#joonas is friends with olli of course so he just passes joel to him and leaves for his porko business#abandoning joel before he can do or say anything#(joel thought they were going for a record shop haul and now he knows how dogs must feel#when their owner tells them they're going to the park but really they're going to the vet)#joel understands his loved ones only want the best for him but he's not sure how a bit of strecthing is going to help him 🙄#in fact stretching is the LAST thing he wants to be doing when he sees how thight the instructor's yoga pants are 😳#so he spents the whole 30 minutes not knowing where to look 🙈#(mostly he looks at the instructor's face because it's so devastatingly cute 😩)#and then the instructor pulls out a basket of wolly socks for the trainees to put on for the final relaxation#(well actually just for joel because apparently everyone else knew to bring their own. this is somehow porko's fault)#so joel nearly cries as he lays on the yoga mattress listening to olli's calm voice bc 1) he's actually feeling a little better already#and 2) he might have fallen in love a tiny bit 😭💞#...okay i may need to write this myself actually#if y'all up for reading it? anyone at all?? 👉👈#joelxolli#answered asks#anon asks
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coolveraverto · 3 years
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Treacherous
Summary: Meet Lyra Bones: She has best mates losing all sorts of virginities, her step-sister-to-be is out to ruin her life, she spends every weekend helping Hagrid feed the thestrals (and whatever else he manages to bring onto Hogwarts property), she has an embarrassingly massive crush on Lorcan Scamander, and Albus Potter wants to make a deal with her?
Harry Potter Fanfiction ~ Albus Potter/OC
Chapter 1:
I’m eating my dinner in The Great Hall when Jess Jordan, one of my best friends and roommates, flips off the Gryffindor quidditch captain as he saunters by our table and makes a snide comment towards her.
“I call it as I see it, douchebag.” She tells him, not even bothering to look over her shoulder at him.
Joel McLaggen stops in his tracks, some of his Gryffindor quidditch posse behind him. I start munching on my chicken wing, happy for some entertainment with my meal. This should be good.
“Maybe you should get your eyes checked then. It would explain why you always look like shit.” He says.
Oh, Helga.
Jess rolls her dark eyes and takes a big ol’ bite of her shepherds pie. “Take your complaints to the Headmaster and piss off. I’m eating.”
Margo, my other best friend and roommate, and I share a smile beside each other. We both know that Jess can handle some jerk - she’s done it a million of times since she’s become the Quidditch Commentator in our fourth year. Some people take their quidditch a little too seriously if you ask me. . .
“Slag.” He retorts and begins walking towards the Gryffindor table.
Oh no he did not!
Without thinking I flick my wand and McLaggen’s black pants slide right down to the floor, causing him to trip and fall on his face, his undies out for everyone to see. The entire Great Hall erupts into laughter.
“Oh, Helga - does his undies say tuesday on them?” I wonder out loud whilst grinning like mad. This only causes my friends to laugh even harder.
Lysander Scamander sits beside Jess. His dark blond hair is a big mess and his yellow and black tie is a bit crooked. I look over at the Gryffindor table just as Louis Weasley, looking just as disheveled, sits with his Weasley-Potter clan. He and Lysander have been dating since they got drunk at the end-of-the-year party last June and snogged in a broom closet.
“Did I just see McLaggen’s knickers?” He asks and tries to take a fork-full of my mashed potatoes. I smack his hand away.
“Yes. But I bet his isn’t the only you’ve seen tonight.” Margo replies with a smirk.
Lysander’s cheeks turn red. “Oh, sod off. But I’m curious, did you have an ulterior motive to do it or were you just bored, Jess?” He asks the raven-haired girl beside him. She rolls her eyes at him.
“Why do you just assume it was me who had done it?” She wonders.
Lysander shrugs. “I don’t know, because you’re the hot-headed one of us?”
“Oh, really?” Jess literally growls and Lysander looks at Margo and I with a see-I-told-you look. “Well, you’re wrong. It was Lyra, actually. So suck it, Scamander.”
Lysander’s jaw drops. “Merlin’s beard. Why?”
“He had it comin’.” I tell him.
Lysander nods his head, taking this as a good enough answer and starts eating bread rolls. He and I have been best friends since before Hogwarts when we met at a Christmas party hosted by our parent’s mutual friend. I always thought of Lysander as more of a brother.
But his twin brother, Lorcan?
I always always had a horribly embarrassing crush on him.
Without even thinking my eyes immediately find Lorcan at the Ravenclaw table. He has his own group of mates, including my crazy soon-to-be-step-sister Indigo Patil, but he’s most certainly the smartest, the nicest, and the cutest of them all. With those dreamy, wistful-looking blue eyes and white blond hair that always fall in those eyes. . .
Ugh. How could I not be into him? Too bad he will never feel the same way about me. Every time I try to talk to him I always sound like a complete flobberworm! Nobody but Margo knows about my harbouring crush; Jess would just tear the mickey out of me if she knew and Lysander would probably feel super weird if the girl he thought of as a sister fancied his actual brother.
“Helloooo! Earth to Lyra!” Lysander snaps his fingers in front of my face with an amused expression.
“Huh?”
“You were spacing out again. And drooling.” He tells me. Margo giggles.
“I was thinking of pumpkin pie.” I say because they know how much I love pumpkin pie. And now I really do want pumpkin pie.
“Of course you were, you goon.” Jess replies half-heartedly. “We were discussing the Halloween party. You, Margo, and I should really talk about costumes. And decorations.”
“Okay. But I promised Professor Hagrid I’d feed Fang tonight while he’s away on important travels. So I’m not sure when I will be in bed.” I tell her and she nods her head understanding.
“And I have my lesson with Trelawney.” Margo murmured beside me.
“What about me? I don’t get a say in anything?” Lysander asks with a pout.
“Nope!” Jess replies with a smirk.
“Wow, thanks.”
“Did you get the password for the Room of Requirements from Louis?” I ask him.
“Yes, I did. And I got enough Firewhiskey to last us ten years probably.”
“Then we’re done with you. Leave us.” Jess tells him with a wave of her hand, dismissively.
He flips her off. Affectionately, I swear.
*
Fang nearly knocks me to the ground the second I step inside Professor Hagrid’s Hut. He’s taller than me (which isn’t much considering I’m only five feet) and he slobbers happily all over my hands and trousers.
I giggle. “Hello to you too, pup.”
He barks in response and I scratch behind his ears before making my way to turn on the lights.
Wait. The lights are already on. I didn’t turn them on, did I?
Hmm. I guess I did!
Fang follows me as I go to the closet that I know Professor Hagrid keeps Fang’s food in. His tail wags faster. What a funny pup! And yes, he’s pretty old but all dogs are puppies in my book, no matter their age.
As I’m filling his bowl, a creaking sound comes from behind Professor Hagrid’s bedroom door. And muffled voices? It can’t be Hagrid, can’t it?
Helga Hufflepuff. I will die if he is with . . . a lady in there.
I’m quickly making my way to leave when the bedroom door swings open and it’s not Hagrid. It’s even worse.
It’s Albus Potter.
“What are you doing here!?” We both ask each other. At the same time.
He looks peeved but he looked that way before he even noticed me here. He moves a hand through his messy dark hair and his Slytherin tie is hanging loosely around his neck. He’s very attractive. But a total jerk.
No thank you.
Well, not like he’s ever asked but he’s so not my type. Maybe more of Margo’s type. She has a thing for “bad boys”.
“I’m here because Professor Hagrid asked me to feed Fang while he’s away tonight.” I tell him and cross my arms. “Clearly you got whiff of him being out tonight as well.”
The corner of Albus’ lips turn up slightly. “Did you just say ‘whiff’?” He asks, just as a figure emerges behind him. Eleanor Zabini. A sixth year Slytherin that I’ve never spoken to but Margo (being a Prefect) has complained about for always breaking the rules.
“Oh thank Merlin. It’s just a Hufflepuff, I was afraid it was someone important.” She says.
Um? Ouch. That’s so rude.
Still, I don’t say anything back. It’s not really my style. . .
She turns to Albus. “Can we get out of here? This place reeks of dog.”
“Yeah, I’ll catch up with you.” He tells her and she sneers at me while walking past.
What did I do to her?
Once she’s gone, it’s just me and Albus Potter standing across from each other in Professor Hagrid’s Hut. And I realize he’s looking at me. Well, more like studying me. His brows are furrowed and he’s got this hint of a smirk on his face. Over the years, I’ve noticed he always has a hint of a smirk on his face.
I’ve never really spoken to Albus Potter before but everyone knows the Potter-Weasleys. Especially the kids of Wizard Savior himself. James is a year older, a Gryffindor Quidditch star that now plays for the Finches. Lily is a fourth year Gryffindor who is probably even crazier when it comes to Quidditch than James is. And Albus is in my year, a Slytherin Prefect whom I’ve shared classes with but was never partnered with. I know he has tea with Professor Hagrid every Tuesday because Hagrid has mentioned it.
“You’re not going to tell Hagrid about this, right?” He implies.
“Uh, excuse me? And why the bloody hell not?”
“He’ll tell my parents and I can not deal with that right now.” He says. “So could you just not tell him?”
I narrow my brown eyes at him and say, “He has a right to know. What you did was very disrespectful.”
Albus sighs. “Another reason I don’t want him to know. Come on. I’ll give you whatever you want.”
I look at him in surprise. “I don’t want anything. But. . . I won’t tell him, but if I catch this happening again you give me no choice but to let him know. He deserves that much respect for trusting you, you know.”
“Great, now I’m getting lectured by a Hufflepuff.” He says and rolls his eyes. Um. Excuse him?!
“Wise words from someone who was just begging me to keep a secret.”
He snorts like I’ve just said a joke. “Good point, Bones.”
“You know me?” I ask flabbergasted.
“Yup. Lyra Bones. Hagrid talks highly of you. . . Pretty sure you’re his favorite student.” He explains.
I already know this but still - it makes me smile.
“I better get going. . . “ He trails off.
“Oh, um, yes. Me too!”
Then we awkwardly bump shoulders trying to walk out the door at the same time. He lets me go first and I mumble a thank-you.
He walks a few steps behind me and once I’m closer to the castle, I run. Embarrassingly.
*
“He was shagging Eleanor Zabini in Professor Hagrid’s bed?!” Jess is bewildered.
I’m sliding under the sheet of my bed in between her and Margo’s respected bedposts. Their jaws all but dropped when I told them what happened. I waited until after we discussed our Halloween costumes to tell them, which they were pissed about. Apparently when it comes to ‘juicy gossip’ as Margo calls it, it comes first.
“Well, I don’t know if they were shagging. . .” I falter.
They both give me a get-real look. Albus Potter has quite the reputation. He ‘hooks up’ with girls but doesn’t date them. I’m not quite sure why but everyone knows this. The bloke has never even held hands with a girl before.
Margo shakes her head. “That’s so. . . skeevy. Even for him.”
“Yes.” I affirm.
Jess shrugs. “He’s Albus Potter - what did you expect? I just can’t believe your virgin eyes walked in on it.” She says with a shit-eating grin.
“I did not!” I yelp and throw a hufflepuff-crested pillow at her which she catches easily.
We’re all laughing until Margo takes that familiar sharp intake of breath and her blue eyes go glassy. Jess and I immediately hurry to her. She stares off into space for what feels like half a second.
Then she comes back to us. I hand her a bottle of water from the mini fridge we keep in our dormitory. She takes the bottle and sips water.
“Did you see something awful?” Jess prods her. I give her a stern look over our friend’s blonde head but she ignores me.
Margo shakes her head. “No but I saw something. . . insane. Crazy. Unbelievable-”
“Seriously, Margo. Just say it.” Jess interupts her, annoyed.
“I saw Albus Potter holding hands with a Hufflepuff girl.” She says.
“Woah.” I say.
Jess’ eyebrows fly into her hairline. “Are you sure?”
Margo rolls her eyes. “Yes I am sure!”
“Well, I’m just asking. You know sometimes the things you see don’t happen, or it doesn’t mean the way you think it does.” Jess tells her abruptly.
“Who was the girl?” I ask Margo, trying to avoid any kind of argument between them. Lysander is right when he said that Jess is the hot-headed one of us. Sometimes it’s a wonder how she got sorted into Hufflepuff, but Jess Jordan is quite possibly the most loyal person alive so I think that’s why.
Margo bites her lip. “I don’t know. I couldn’t see her face.”
“As much as I love to hear about Albus Potter’s future love-life, I’d much rather sleep. Goodnight, girls.” Jess climbs into her bed and draws her curtains around her.
I stand up from Margo’s bed to slide into my own but she grabs my wrist lightly. Her beady blue eyes are staring up at me. In a hushed tone she says, “It was you.”
“Huh?”
Her eyes flicker to Jess’ bed and back at me. “The girl he was holding hands with was you. I didn’t want to say anything in front of her because well. . . you know how she can be.”
“Okay,” I mutter and slide into my bed beside her. I don’t take Margo’s visions too seriously because most of them never come true and she’s usually wrong about them. It’s why she spends so much time with Trelawney so she can learn more about them.
Also - me and Albus Potter????? Helga Hufflepuff, get REAL. That will never ever happen.
“And you looked truly happy.” Margo says.
I scoff. “I am happy, Margo.”
She pursed her lips slightly before smiling warmly at me. “Goodnight, Lyra.” She says and flicks her wand to turn out the lights.
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solitaria-fantasma · 4 years
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((Session #7 shenanigans, GO!))
We’re skipping the filler stuff this week and jumping straight into the Plot bc our DM has figured out how to connect us to her main campaign and really wants to get to the good parts.
It’s been a while so we had to do a little discussing to remember where we’d left off: Destroying a dog-fighting ring, making friends with the dogs, and kidnapping the pit boss.
We dragged the pit boss halfway back to town bc we’d left our horses at the inn, and then dragged him into the woods to interrogate.
I woke him up with a slammin’ lute chord (and I was absolutely thinking “SECRET TUNNEEEEELLLLL!” in my head as I did).
Udaji rolled another ‘4’ on her Perception check and someone else in the voice chat said “yeah that’s on-brand for her”.
ZONE OF TRUTH! ZONE OF TRUTH! ZONE OF TRUTH!
(the pit boss calls the dogs ‘stupid animals’) “Someone needs to hold Udaji back, please.”
“Lord Hassan? Yeah, he’s the boss-.....I shouldn’t have said that.”
This poor man didn’t have a high enough intelligence to recognize the spell ‘Zone of Truth’ and is confused af right now.
The second piece of the map to the Crescent Gang’s Hideout was rolled up in a little bottle on a string around the pit boss’ neck - now we have two!
We asked where the third piece was, but the pit boss didn’t know - he gave us a few towns that he thought it might be in, though (such as Caister, in Everton).
Apparently, you need to layer all three map pieces over top of each other to see the full picture - like animation cells!
We asked about the marriage-murder scam, too, but the pit boss didn’t know anything important.
“If these bitches were cute enough then maybe-” *angry Dragonborn noises*
“Maybe we could feed him to the dogs?” “No way! Burnt Toast and Matthias Jr. need a well-balanced diet, not junk food.”
The only thing holding Udaji back from killing this man rn is Claus’ hand on her shin.
We leave the pit boss tied up in the wilderness, and he’s probably going to die. It’s a good thing none of us are Lawful Neutral.
The fastest way to Caister is by boat, which will take about one week, rather than two weeks if by land.
We have to pay to board the horses on the boat, but as long as the sailors were allowed to pet our new dogs, we didn’t have to pay for their boarding.
“What would you like to do on your two week boat ride?”/”I would like to train Matthias Jr. to play dead when shot with a pretend bow and arrow.”
Level Four! Yay!
We had barely landed in Everton when we heard an NPC shouting about a thief.
Mountain was too distracted trying to keep Señor Guapo from eating poison ivy to notice the commotion.
I have only just now realized that I did not include in my last session’s notes that the other two dogs are named “Señor Guapo” and “Joel”.
“Because Claus is a good boy and he is the conscience of this party.”
“We could also surround her. We number quite many.”
*insert Benny Hill theme here as the party & our dogs attempt to surround the suspected thief while our horses graze serenely a few meters away from the chaos*
The thief is a hungry young woman I don’t care what her role in the story is I have already mentally adopted her.
Mountain paid the farmer the five copper the carrots were worth, and the man stormed off, threatening to call the guard if we let her near his farm again.
“You offer her your rations, and she looks at you like you are God.”
The child is absolutely bewildered by the size of Ganondorf the Horse, but then she looked back at me (the Dragonborn) and whispered “Oooh, that makes sense…”
Soothing lute music is good for panic attacks and that’s about all Udaji’s good for right now.
Her name is Colette De Mir, and she claims to have fallen on hard times after receiving a letter pROPOSING MARRIAGE TO A LORD IN EVERTON OH NO-
She survived an attack on her traveling group, and was the only survivor. Lord Hassan tried to kill her, and threw her off of a bridge into a ravine, where she once again managed to cheat death. No-one else in her party survived, and everything in their carriage that could be stolen was.
Burnt Toast and Joel are therapy dogs: Confirmed.
Colette was horrified when we told her that she was not the only one who had been targeted by this scam, and demanded to know what we knew.
Matthias doesn’t trust her, for some reason, but the high Insight roll checks out.
“Yeeting princesses is not a very Lordly activity.”
Colette says she woke up underwater after the fall, and found herself breathing rather normally. What a way to find out you’re a sorcerer.
I lent her one of the costumes from my Entertainer’s pack, to replace her dirty and mismatched clothing as we go into town, and it’s WAY too big for her, considering it was sized for a Dragonborn.
Once we get to town, Astrid and I take Colette on a spa/shopping trip so that she can get cleaned up, and have some proper clothes.
At the inn, Colette tells us that she didn’t know that this town was Caister - she had been told that it was Kenkilly by the ship that had carried her and her entourage.
She was lied to about which town was which, basically, and - being from a completely different country - she had no idea.
Our money from Swadlin is still good in Everton, but almost all of the shopkeepers and merchants could pin us as tourists from our foreign currency.
Colette asks us to take her to Kenkilly, where Lord Hassan is supposedly supposed to be. Safety and strength in numbers, right?
Udaji - having been raised by an overprotective party of retired adventurers in a quiet, but populous, town - has no survival skills of her own.
For all intents and purposes, Colette is a Waterbender. 
Colette has a blue cloak that she tried to hide from the party, and took great care to dry and keep when changing clothes. It was a gift from her mother, meant to protect her.
When we set out the next morning, Colette rode with Astrid and got the tea (whether she wanted it or not) on the rest of the party.
“She has all the embarrassing stories on you, like what you do when you sleep.”/”Oh, no! She’s seen me cuddle my lute??”
Kenkilly is actually a small, rural village on the coast, rather than the larger city it had been made out to be in the letter to her family.
We track down some shady locals to try and get information, and we….are not subtle about it.
Between the Dragonborn, the Tiefling, two half-elves, a princess, and four dogs, we stand out quite a bit.
Matthias joined the shady people for a game of chance with dice, and won a bit of money, but no information.
Mountain joined in the betting, and Astrid is shit-talking both of them while Colette, Claus, and Udaji stand off to the side and watch.
Claus lasts about five minutes before he gives up trying to pretend we aren’t doing some shady BS and goes back to the inn to drink.
Mountain asks about the Crescent gang, but one guy asks for a bribe for his answer. Mountain tries to intimidate him, and fails miserably
Matthias also tried (and failed) to intimidate, but with Astrid’s help, the criminal was successfully intimidated.
Lord Hassan does indeed live in this town (or at least the castle nearby it), and he does not seem to be entirely well-liked by the people.
None of the complaints are super-bad, though….”trash day changes too much”, “the cost of living is too high”, “there’s too many damned foreigners-” Okay. Okay. We get the point.
“Udaji’s gonna look herself up and down from her boots to her flower crown and ask: “Do I look like a cop??’.”
“If we’re gonna ‘case this castle’, may I recommend not sending the Tiefling or the Dragonborn?”
Matthias goes out to scout, and finds out that Lord Hassan has ‘appointment times’ where he is available to the public - the next time being 2pm the next day.
He signs up the party for the 2pm meeting and comes back to the inn where the rest of us are waiting.
“I have been giving you guys tons and tons and TONS of money! You know you can spend it, right??”
The local armorer can upgrade our weapons with silver, but it would take two days, and we don’t expect to be in town that long...bummer.
I bought some new Studded Leather Armor for Udaji, sold her original Leather Armor, AND got it refined - my bby now has an AC of 16 now!
“Why do you still have all these rotten apples in your inventory?!”/”She’s fermenting them!”
Matthias’ player had him eat twenty rotten apples in one sitting just to spite the DM (their sister).
He then had to go throw up in the harbor.
So earlier, Matthias horribly embarrassed Astrid back in the alley, and now she’s refusing to talk to him.
Colette is confirmed for 19 and Udaji is still the baby of the party at 17.
The rest of the party is hanging out in the tavern, completely unawares, as Astrid yeets herself out a second story window to avoid talking to her father.
The innkeeper gave Udaji some alcohol, and Mountain casually stole it, drank it, and said “Underaged drinking is bad.”
Everyone goes around placing dinner orders at the inn and Udaji orders an entire chicken.
Astrid came back after brooding out in the wilderness for a few hours and we settled down to sleep.
Astrid steals a crown that Matthias had ‘found’ in an earlier session for Colette, arguing that “she’s actual royalty, and we’re going to talk to a Lord tomorrow, so we need to make the best impression”.
We also get a ‘glow-up’ montage as Astrid uses Matthias’ disguise kit to alter Colette’s appearance (bc if Lord Hassan really DID try to murder her, then walking straight back into his castle with no disguise would be a death sentence).
Still refusing to talk to her father, Astrid paid a very confused and slightly offended Colette to bring her breakfast in her room, just so she didn’t have to look at Matthias’ smug elven face.
Astrid also does not join us at the castle.
The Lord that we meet in the castle…..is NOT the same Lord that tried to kill Colette.
“It is kind of rude to show up for your scheduled appointment and just stand at the door, not saying anything.”
Colette storms past the party to demand an explanation of Lord Hassan, who is very unimpressed with this strange woman’s attitude.
“She’s a little upsetti spaghetti.”
Udaji’s soothing lute music saves the day again.
We tell the Lord that we are from the land of Swadlin, and were sent to investigate a series of deaths.
This Lord Hassan is a widower who is deeply faithful to his late wife and has no intentions of marrying again, and is VERY confused to hear that someone is using his name.
An advisor steps forward to take over the situation, and Matthias’ successful Insight roll gives him TERRIBLE vibes.
“He’s the kind of person whose teeth are too straight; too white.”
This advisor offered to pay us to investigate who was impersonating his Lord, and despite the bad vibes, Matthias agrees.
“Maybe DON’T intimidate the advisor while surrounded by guards.”
“He’s essentially offering you $7,000 EACH.”
We got sent off to investigate this impersonation of a Lord, and went back to the inn to try and shake off the Bad Vibes and calm Colette down.
Colette draws us a (rough) sketch of a frowning man with a pointed hairline and stiff moustache as the man who threw her off the bridge.
*two minutes of the DM (lovingly) insulting her cat in the background*
Colette says he was incredibly handsome, but Udaji just doesn’t see it.
We decide to try following the river upstream until we find a bridge that matches the one Colette was thrown off of.
Colette uses some of Matthias’ paper to write a letter to her parents, and asks Udaji to come with her to find a sailor to deliver it to her parents (for a modest fee).
The DM brought up the map and showed us the island of Mir, where Colette was from. It is a tiny dot out in the ocean, down in the far right bottom corner of the map. No wonder she needed to sail for two months!
“Matthias drinks one drink and then is blackout drunk.”/”Why do you think I have a kid?”
When we leveled up I took “Suggestion” as my next 2nd level spell, and I absolutely cannot wait to use it.
I CAN TAKE THE “DRAGON WINGS” RACIAL FEATURE AND GIVE UDAJI A 20FT WINGSPAN! Oooooooh boy the sTORYTELLING I can do with this!!!
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smolbeandrabbles · 5 years
Text
Fall Here - Andrew ‘Pope’ Cody x Reader Drabble (Animal Kingdom)
GIF Credit: @ben-mendelsohn-trash @animalkingdomdaily
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Author’s Note: @beany-ben Tiding you over until season 4...! I do not apologise for being responsible 😉😘 Thank you for asking for more Andrew, I dug out my plot point list and decided to write this for you ❤
OMG, so, Baz is my FAVOURITE in the movie (The irony of that is not lost on me.) and my second favorite (again. It’s not lost on me!) in the show so here we are!
Disclaimer: Animal Kingdom and all characters are not my thing. (but Andrew is certainly my thing...) Still can’t decide which Andrew I’m writing...? Good for you guys I suppose!
Premise: You should have known the world of Andrew Cody was going to catch you up eventually... You just didn’t expect this. Words: 1436
Warnings: Kidnap / Death / Murder / Swearing
With all that he put you through I can't really blame you But don't let some fool give us all a bad name When you've had enough hurt And you're tired of the tears If you wanna fall baby Fall here Fall here Right into my world Let me catch you, girl Let me be the one
---
You knew it. You should have always known it. He’d even told you himself. Andrew Cody was a bad idea. And you were currently paying for it.
 You didn’t know how these guys knew who you were; well okay, they didn’t appear to know your name. But the fact they knew you had something to do with Andrew made you regret every time you’d stepped out of the safety of your own home with him.
You were scared, but not in the way that you should be. Tied up and blindfolded in the back of a truck kind of had you accepting the situation. Though when they’d caught up with you in your work parking lot you’d done maybe a little too much screaming. It was Andrew. What would they do to you to get to Andrew? Because you assumed they were only doing this to send him a clear message.
What would he do when he found out?
 *
The obvious Leader yanked you roughly out of the truck and removed your bindings and blindfold. Well, this just looked like every movie hostage situation you’d ever seen. The warehouse was gloomy; you’d almost laugh if you weren’t slightly terrified. “Alright sweetheart. How long do you think it’s going to take him to come rescue you huh?” You weren’t sure if you were supposed to answer him, and you had no idea where he had taken you. It could have been miles from where Andrew was – it’s not like when he disappeared he ever told you where he went. “I- I don’t-!” “No matter, lets see, hmm?” He pushed you roughly back into a chair and pulled your mobile out of his pocket. You’d protest, only the other men in the room all seemed to be holding guns. You weren’t about to risk it.   He held it out to you; “Dial him.” “What!?” Was he insane?! Why would you do that!!? Getting up in your face didn’t help things; “DIAL HIM.” Geez…! You tapped in your passcode and did as he asked, praying Andrew wouldn’t pick up. “Cody.” You strained to hear Andrew’s replies. It wasn’t happening. “…You better believe I have her. And wouldn’t you like to know what I’m going to do to her if you don’t turn up?” You didn’t like his smirk “…Bring what we agreed…… You know where.” He hung up and looked back to you “For your sake, sweetheart, you better hope he turns up…”
*
 At the sound of a car pulling up outside he signalled the others in the room to fan out; “Make sure he’s alone… Kill anyone else.” He unholstered his own gun and pulled you to your feet; “Don’t worry sweetheart, I won’t use it on you unless I have to.” What the hell was that supposed to mean!?
Andrew’s face held no real emotion as he entered the Warehouse, every step was slow and deliberate. He was calculating everything... You had one thing on your mind... What would this do to your relationship…? “I’m here. I’m unarmed. She’s hardly a threat... let her go and let’s just talk...” You didn’t think the fact he was unarmed was a good thing; considering everyone else here. “Look. Man. You want me not her, let her go.” “No.” “She’s got nothing to do with this.” “Maybe not Cody but she has something to do with YOU.” Andrew looked slightly pained, he held his hands up “Y/N I’m sorry...” he addressed you even though he wasn’t looking at you. “Shut up Cody! And do the damn deal!” “I don’t HAVE what you want.” “Do you want me to kill her!?!” “I just told you she has NOTHING to do with this.”
The gun clicked as the safety was released and for the first time you did actually fear for your life. You couldn’t help your involuntary whimper; “See? See Cody? Look at her... look what you’re doing to her.” Andrew took a step forward, hands still raised “I’m not doing a thing. You’re the one holding a gun to her head.” That made him remove the gun from you and point it at Andrew instead; “Not another f**king step Cody.” Andrew smiled a smile you didn’t like “That’s better. Keep that gun on me. I’m the real threat.” “Andrew! No!!” You couldn’t help but cry out. The man pulled you back again; his strong arm around you was starting to constrict your breathing and he laughed “Oh. Andrew.” He mocked your voice “See how much she cares about you?” He addressed you gruffly “This one is nothing but trouble doll. And he owes me big time.” “I’m only gonna ask nice once more. Let her go.” “Why don’t you make me Cody?” Andrew gave a shrug “Would that I could man, I got nothing that will hurt ya.” “Just GIVE me what you OWE me!” “Man, I just don’t have it.” “Great! Fantastic!” His laugh was verging on hysterical “You’ve just f**kin’ sealed her fate. I’m gonna kill you, then I’ll kill her.” “LET HER GO!”
The shot rang out and you flinched, closing your eyes, it took your brain too long to process what was going on. The arm around you suddenly went slack. His body hit the floor, and you didn’t dare look back. You were shaking, half in panic half in relief. Andrew was still standing at the far end of the warehouse, hands still raised. Fight or flight turned to flight and you ran across to him.
“Hey... hey...” He took you in his arms, the second you were wrapped in his embrace, him pulling your face to his chest protectively your tears started running and you sobbed; “Hey... it’s okay... it’s okay... You’re okay... You’re gonna be okay...” you tangled your fingers in his shirt, attempting to grip him as close to you as possible. You were sure it was going to take a long time to process what the hell had just happened.
 “She in shock?” A second male voice echoed around in the silence and made Andrew turn his head, “Yeah...” he continued stroking a hand through your hair to try and calm you down. “She’ll be okay...” You could hear footsteps as the voice got closer “Thanks man.” “Hey. Pope, c’mon... I always got your back.” “And the rest of ‘em?” “Piece of cake…” You raised your head as he stopped walking. He was tall, dark hair, lean built and flashed you a warm smile. “Hey… You must be Y/N…” Andrew let you leave his arms but kept his hands on your shoulders to steady you; “I’m Baz! It’s good to meet you! Not that this one told me a hell of a lot besides I had to help him rescue you…” He flicked his head to Andrew, who gave him a warning look. Apparently that’s all he might end up knowing. “Thank you, Baz…” Baz, the only one in the crew that wasn’t a Cody, from what Andrew had told you. At least you found your voice… You sniffed and had to rub your eyes again as tears started flowing. “Pope, take her home man, I’ll finish up here.” “Yeah… Sure.” “See you back at home…” He nodded to you, “Take care of yourself.” * The drive back was quiet. He could sense you didn’t want to talk, and you just didn’t know what to say. Him telling you about the life he led was nothing like you actually living in it. And you didn’t like it, it wasn’t a way you ever wanted to feel again. He kept one hand on the wheel and one on his knee – and eventually you had to reach out and take it – crying once again. He gripped your hand tight – still silent, eyes on the road. You knew he knew; that was everything you couldn’t say. It was dark when he pulled up outside your apartment block; “Do you… want me to stay?” “No.” “Do you want me to walk you to your door?” “No…” You opened the car door “…I just… Don’t think that’s a good idea…” “Okay.” His voice was soft, and although you’d said it out loud, you secretly hoped he wouldn’t listen as you said goodbye and closed it on him.
 There was a knock at your door; your heart jumped and began beating irrationally fast. It was going to take time for you to get over this… You hesitated before you unlocked it. Andrew was leaning against the door frame, his eyes studying you, concerned; “I can’t leave you alone…” You shook your head, pulling him close to you by his shirt “I don’t want to be alone…”
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*  No, No, it’s good YOU came man... Where is all the Joel Edgerton Baz, though!?!?
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