#(sadly im still embarrassed about it but tumblr has helped a lot <3)

[our-t4t-experience]

WE ARE :D

okayokay and also a lot of it has to do w transness

i am a t4t gayboy and i met this other guy whos the coolest ever and hes also a gayboy (i dont think hes t4t but !!)

ESSENTIALLY, as is in true gay fashion, i became friends w him at the beginning of the school year, and weve gotten more and more close ever since.

i have my seminar with him, and every day during seminar we sit under the table and talk about life, and his favorite bands (which are now mine, because i like to steal the interests of the people i love) and its awesome. i love being around him, his presence is comforting.

on A days, i sit with him and a few friends at lunch, and the cafeteria is quite loud (and i have major overstimulation issues,) so sometimes ill get overwhelmed and he always notices and makes sure im okay, and sometimes when i don’t feel like i can do it, hell sit with me in the stairwell and let me talk about whats bothering me and he’ll just listen and give advice. On B days, during lunch, we just sit in a corner somewhere and talk. he’ll always listen and help me and ill so the same for him. if its not him comforting me, i get to talk to him and hear him ramble about his bands and his favorite things and i love the way he sounds when hes happy - i love the way his smile is so bright, and i love the way he looks when he gets embarrassed and realizes hes loud (i dont mind it - its not aggressive.)

every day after school, we hang out for anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour, just. coexisting. its awesome. i love him. and we spend this time working on hw together, and talking about the things we love.

i have a very all-over-the-place tumblr blog, which comes with a lot of yearning, because im lonely and in love. but this boy, my boy, my crush, follows me and we like constantly support each others blogs. so sometimes, ill post yearning posts and HE’LL REBLOG THEM 💞. maybe im overthinking it but like if were looking for the same things in a relationship.. i mean !! it cant mean nothing!! like the other day i reblogged a post that was like “all i need in life is a boy to lay on my lap and let me play with his hair” and he reblogged it with the tags “#all i need in life is a boy to let me lay on his lap and play with my hair” AND OMG??? LIKE MARRY ME UGH gosh this is so exhilirating.

also the other day i wrote him a long paragraph about how much i love him (we say “i love you” to each other consistently, presumably in a platonic way, but its never been specified or indicated, sadly :() and it was like (ill include a little excerpt)

“[…]nothing can come close to [describing] the feeling i get when im with you, not by a long shot. its so much stronger in a way that youd think it would have its own word, like how "a lot" has "a myriad," and ones stronger, more intentful, more meaningful. if there was a word that was as to love as myriad is to lot, my love for you would still be stronger. i am more than eternally grateful for your presence and where you have brought me since ive met you. talking to you has been the actual light of my life lately.” AND SO SO MUCH MORE IT WAS LIKE 700 WORDS LONG - AND IT WAS ALL LIKE THAT YK

and the next day i get this:

“I love you a alot (name). […] I love you so so much. […] I want to give you all that you deserve. Because people don't remind you of your actual worth. And if I can be a start to help you to that path, I'd be so fucking happy. I, more than anything need you to know just how much of an amazing person you are. […] I promise to always listen to you. Always. It's the least I could do. You're an amazing person <3” WITH A LOT MORE BUT I CUT A LOT OF IT FOR WORDS SSKE BUT AAAAAA HE WROTE ME A PARAGRAPH!!!!!!

ALSO we call almost every night and i always text him good morning and hes the awesomest and i love spending time with him.

sometimes i also get text exchanges where i say “text me when you get home” and he says “im not home but i just couldnt wait <3” AAAAAAAAAAA

and “wish i had a boy to hold me n warm me up <//3” and he said “i volunteer as tribute!” AAAAAA

i think the point of this is i dont feel like he likes me back but im in love w the man dude like the other day he let me lay on his shoulder and he played w my hair and i nuzzled into his neck a bit and he giggled and i was like “hm?” and he said “youre adorable” AAAAAAAAAA SOBBFIANDBSJ and i just buried my red ass face in his neck and he giggled at me again and i said fuck you and UGH i love him so much and all i wanna do is just be his i just wanna be his boy and he can be mine and we can be boyfriends!!!

and also hes also so awesome because he makes me feel so validated and sometimes when i like my outfit ill send him pics of it and he’ll say “you look very boy / very cis” and ill be like “no” and sometimes hell tell me how i look cis and sometimes hell say he wishes i could see myself the way he sees me. i wish i could understand how he sees me. i wanna know how he thinks of me, i wanna know if hed ever love me the way i love him!! i love him. so much. id do anything for him.

thank u for letting me ramble, i needed to get it out of my system because i cant tell anyone else cause theyd tell him but god i love him. so much.

p.s. if you see this, i love you dude. youll know its you. if you dont love me back, just . idk . act like u never saw it ty <3

-🧷

send me an updated ask when u two get together

#gayboys and being oblivious smh 🙄 /lh #t4t #t4t mlm #gay t4t #tm4tm

[zolwbozydar]

so since @bitchthemed tagged me on her post i guess im coming back from my hiatus for a sec to list my six albums ive been listening to a lot lately. ive allowed myself to only list one album from each performer as to not embarrass myself too gravely. hdsbhds. still embarrassing myself here because i dont have that much of a diverse or interesting taste

1. Because the Internet by Childish Gambino

(sorry that the gif is so small compared to the other album covers btw. i just wanted it to be a gif and this one is of a satisfying quality) literally listened to it when i saw the email notif. what a great album istg. its really interesting musically, it has a particular plotline (that i sadly havent payed that much attention to that but im planning on focusing more on that in the meantime) and a lot of lore behind it and im so excited to dig into it. its really interesting considering Glover's acting / directing history (actually, interestingly enough, i started getting more interested in him as a musician only after watching Community, where he played). one of my friends got that cd as a birthday gift and since then i kinda went back to listen to this album more. its really, really interesting, both musically and lyrically. one of my favourite albums in general (although that will be a trend here. i keep on relistening to my fav albums these days)

2. Folié a deux by Fall Out Boy

i wore my folie a deux tshirt two days ago so i really really had to listen to it. it was my fav fob album back in middle school and man it still holds. makes me feel very. free and maybe angry but in that joyous way. more. energetic rather than angry i guess. it both reminds me of a particular time in my life and just sounds amazing. ive read a tumblr post abt it so im not gonna ask the question of why was it badly received back in its time but yeah i cant help but disagree with past fob fans. its. probably still my fav album of their? although its hard to decide. infinity on high and from under the cork tree are both similarly close to me (with a slight leaning to infinitys direction) and both could probably be on this list as well if not for my selecting choices

3. I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love by My Chemical Romance

sigh. is anyone surprised that mcr is here. i liked them for some time now (started during the first pandemic i think?) but since foundations of decay got released and they toured and their concert in my country was getting closer i started REALLY getting into them. like downright obssessing. bullets was the hardest to like as a newbie but over time it really really grew on me and ive come to appreciate it a lot. things that felt a bit too rough to me before have uncovered their beauty before me and the roughness feels appropriate considering the subject matter. it also has a couple of songs that feel really appropriate considering the teenage angst im going through these days. sidenote: other mcr albums that couldve been here are three cheers for sweet revenge and the black parade. man. beloved

4. Razzmatazz by I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME

what a truly original sound. idkhow captured me by the. weirdness? the quirkiness of its topic, and as i was joyously singing along to songs about murderviolence and whatnot i was subtly dosed with an unimaginable amount of softness hiding beneath. truly a heartwrenching experience. its still a joyous listen and 80s (? im guessing. im not a musical genius, sadly.) vibes are. yesss

5. A Fever You Can't Sweat Out by Panic! At The Disco

yes i know panic just below idkhow is a pretty ironic choice. but we're not talking abt brendons endeavors here. that album is so beloved to me. i really like the. uhh. victorian aesthetic of it? sorry i have little to no idea what im talking about. i do like the aura it builds, a vibe. lyrically its a feast, i wish i could wield words like Ryan does. i used to hold a feeling of guilt related to this album (and mcrs three cheers for sweet revenge) because it reminded me of a person i hurt. i dont really feel that way anymore and i only feel excitement when i listen to it now. what an album!!!

6. Born To Die (The Paradise Edition) by Lana del Rey

so this one is a bit of a reach because i havent been listening to it that much that recently but i kinda mostly. listen to my biggest playlist on loop and also i didnt want it to just have fall out boy and my chemical romances discography in random order. anyways, i have a soft spot for this album. it reminds me of my childhood (oof thats a sentence) not because i relate to the experiences that much but rather because i listened to it a lot when i was like. twelve? thirteen? before you call social services, english isnt my first language and i didnt really. get that deep below the surface. i was just. noises nice d-_-b. anyways. yes yes i know problematic romanticising whatever. i like its main character okay? sometimes you just listen to a girl that is Unwell and you nod and say "so true bestie" despite not relating at all. say whatever you want about lana but this album is a vibe and it stays dedicated to it

uhhhhh i am now realising how long my post is compared to juleses. sowwwyyyyyyyy

im supposed to tag people but honestly i wouldve tagged only my dear mutual ania @dictatorgoddess69 and since prev post did that already its kinda. pointless (still tagging because idk. hope you dont kill me ania)

#please tell me its not too personal. i cant help but be talkative. im in a Place right now #this post is me coming out as having a basic music taste. apologies to anyone who wouldve thought otherwise #but if you thought otherwise you either dont know me well or are really blind and deaf socially. sorry

[shijas]

hi chel! i hope this is ok to ask but if it isnt, you dont have to answer. lately, ive been struggling with my writing. i do still enjoy writing, but i find myself doubting myself more often. i sometimes wonder if what im writing is realistic to how the characters would act, or if my writing is embarrassing. i started posting my works on ao 3 more recently and... while my writing gets a somewhat decent? amount of attention, ill see other works with a lot of engagement and wonder if im doing

heyy nonny! ofc this was okay to ask!! firstly, i totally feel you. it’s completely natural to have moments when you’re unsure and dissatisfied with your writing. if you still enjoy the process of writing, then that’s great! i want to make it clear that your feelings may linger but they will pass!!

i talked about this in an ask on my writing blog once but my three biggest writing tips are: “a first draft is a first draft”, “if you’re writing is indulging you then it’s met your target audience” and “as long as your characterisation is consistent to how you feel about the character everything is fine”.

i think, especially, when you’re writing fanfiction that these are things that you keep in mind! when characterising characters, i can’t personally tell you whether how you feel and thus write about them is ‘correct’ or not! no one can, because the lens of which you read and write them is dependent on your whole life worth of experiences!! and this is fine!! you don’t have to write characters exactly as they are in canon, and in all honestly no one truly expects you too. people read fanfiction because they want other interpretations of a story/characters that they love!! as long your characterisation is consistent to you, rather than realistic to someone else’s standards i think you’ll be okay!

now, posting on ao3 is always a double edged sword, and once again, i totally get where you’re coming from. i think everyone who posts semi frequently has a work that they love, which gets barely any attention, and other works that maybe are more of a joke or a quick thing that do surprisingly well. sadly, you can’t force readers or engagement, you can only put your stuff out and hope. if your numbers seem small and the engagement does seem low in comparison to other people, this doesn’t necessarily mean you’re doing something wrong and as hard as that is to internalise or believe, please trust me on this!! i’ve read many a fic with barely any interaction and they’ve been brilliant, likewise i’ve read a lot of fic with a whole bunch of engagement that i personally didn’t enjoy.

a quick initial solution that helped me when seeing numbers really started to bog me down was using the site skin that removed all statistics from every work, my own included. this meant that i could still read fics, but i wouldn’t see anyones numbers, and it also meant when i went on my own page i was forced to look at my works for what they’re about rather than how “well or not” they did by numbers.

another thing that really helped me was advice from a tiktok i can’t currently find which basically said: “30, 60, 100 views might not seem like a lot on the internet, but imagine if that many people walked into your room and saw what you’ve created. they chose to come and see what you’ve created. 15, 40, 60 likes may not feel like a lot but imagine if that many people who had walked into your room to see what you’ve created and told you they liked your work. it would be pretty overwhelming.” i think there’s a really important message in that tiktok. every view, every kudo, comment and bookmark — even if it’s few — is an individual who chose to take a look at your work! they wanted to read it! some of them felt brave enough to kudo and tell you they enjoyed it! some of them were even braver and left a comment saying what they enjoyed! sure, it can feel underwhelming in comparison, but people are engaging, people do care and like your work!

the only person your writing has to be ‘good enough’ for is yourself! and if you enjoyed writing it then external numbers are just a bonus, no matter how big or small!! dissatisfaction is natural and expected from time to time, like i said earlier it will pass. sometimes it’s even a good thing, because if you finish something but feel dissatisfied, that might motivate you to write another draft, or redo a section or take a section out or add a section in! as long as this process is because you want to and it’ll make you happier with your work that’s good. if it’s draining it might be a hint that you should take a break from that project and try something else that you enjoy. you can always comeback. and on that note your ao3 and the fics you post there are not set in stone. if one day you decide you want to revamp a fic, do it! that’s allowed! it’s not a printed published fic! just hit that edit button and change at your hearts content. no one will mind! if anything those few people who might love you fic may be super happy that when they reread it, there’s something new or things have changed a bit!!

i’m really lucky that i have a friend that is not only is doing an english degree but writes fanfic herself, and other friends who frequently read fics and hc stuff over shared fandoms, so there’s always someone there to read my stuff — if you’ve got irl friends that are in your fandom spaces that you trust, i say subject yourself to the mortifying ordeal of being known and talk to them about it!! writing fics in isolation can be pretty hard!! online, i think if you’ve got the nerves to handle it (i do not OTL), twitter is a great place to interact with other writers!! my tips are maybe follow some of your fave writers and try and strike up a conversation?? be wary of the numbers again on twitter!!! similarly, if you do have a tumblr, talk to some of your favourite writers on here, and follow some writing/ao3 based blogs to see whose in the community! apparently there’s even discords for writers these days, so if you’re up to it that’s a great shout. if we’re in overlapping fandoms i love hearing people’s hcs so you can always throw them at me here or on my writing blog!!

i’m sorry that my reply got so long!! i hope that in some way it helps you even a little!! i’m sure you’re writing is pretty amazing and that it’s only going to get better the more you read and write!! have a great day nonny, and good luck, you can push through this!! 💗

#this gucci!! #writers woes on main

[enchanted-irene-ia]

1-20 kekekeke

1. Who has been your favorite muse to play?

By far the my most favorite muse is Irene...Sorry Jinki LOL

2. Do you listen to music while you write? If so, what do you like to listen to?

I actually don’t listen to music, I tend to put on one of my repeat shows (Avatar or Criminal minds) but I have heard from others that emotional driven music helps with writing. I should try that. 

3. Are there any particular aus or plots that you’d really like to write?

Yes! I would love more fluff and even some smut (I need the practice) I would love to try maybe gore but that's the opposite of what I’ve ever done.

4. What are some of your rp pet peeves?

I’m not sure if this will make sense but I hate when others don’t add anything to a reply. They simply reply to what’s going on without moving it forward. (ex: Muse 1 ABC - Muse 2 ABC instead of Muse 1 ABC - Muse 2 ABCD) 

5. What is the most difficult thing about writing your current muse?

Irene - The non feeling...feelings. It’s hard to write a muse that had no emotions during times that they should have emotions. I feel like sometimes I’m not adding enough in my replies because of it. 

Jinki - His conflicts with others, while I personally find it hilarious seeing him struggle with others. Im such a non confrontational person there are times I have to remind myself they are arguing or are angry at Jinki and not me. 

6. What is your favorite thing about writing your current muse?

Irene - Her ditziness by far! I love writing out her ridiculous train of thought or lack thereof. 

Jinki - That would be a tie between him being sexually librial and a genuine sweetheart. I haven’t shown it much of it yet but I know it’s there.

7. Who was the very first muse you ever wrote?

Oh man this is embarrassing, my first rper was Liam from one direction LOL It was a tumblr group and he was the only one left. 

My first OC/Kpop  was a neko Suzy. I really liked that one. 

8. Have you ever written a novel? If not, does it interest you?

Uh I actually started a novel many years ago, it was horrible but did pretty well. It was about a polyamorous throuple….yeah idk we don’t talk about it.

9. Do you write fanfiction, or have you in the past?

Yes sadly I rode the aff train and wrote a couple of oneshots years ago...we don’t talk about it either. 

10. Do you like stylized icons and formatted text or do you prefer to keep things simple?

I had to ask what this was LOL I don’t do this but I do think the different fonts are pretty and I do connect it with the muse, like if was their own handwriting.

11. When did you start roleplaying?

Roleplaying I believe like 2011 or 2012? It’s a blur honestly 

12. Have you roleplayed anywhere other than tumblr?

Yes omg I’ve rped everywhere and still do sometimes. FB,Mewe,Discord,Kakao,Aim. Although everything else is/was shorthand rp nothing like the IA writing LOL 

13. Who are five of your favorite characters? (In the rp community or otherwise)

Oh easy and I honestly think these are my favorite because of how well our muses click.

Namjoon ,Merry, Wenhan,Mymy and Irene she just clicks so well with herself 

14. What are five of your favorite ships? (In the rp community or otherwise)

Honestly any G+S ships, they scarily rp so well together

Namgi Just meant for each other couple

Taekey Soulmate couple

JooJoon Best friend couple

Wenhan and Jinki (we should find a ship name LOL) FWB couple

Zimin(?) The toxic couple

15. What sort of muses do you tend to write?

Super friendly but emotionally unavailable muses. Sexually driving in some way. (Jinki just sexual and Irene nonsexual but sexual for the money)

16. Do you like to queue your replies or just post them when you finish?

I don’t queue replies but I tend to reply to everything in one sitting then mass upload them at once. 

17. Do you prefer winging it or plotting everything out?

I’m in between depending on the plot. Something light hearted and easy like a trip to the store its better to just wing but something that will include chara development like getting new powers, I like to plot out the beginning and have some sort of idea of how its supposed to end but everything in between can be up in the air. If that makes sense. 

18. What makes for a great roleplay partner in your opinion?

Honestly a great roleplayer is anyone that can help me become better LOL I swear I don’t mean it in a narcissistic kind of way! Someone that actually enjoys to rp and it's a passion to them is amazing to rp with. It helps me get better because I get excited about writing. A partner who cares about their muses and the development and not just for the faceclaim. Or just in search for a relationship. 

19. Have you received anon hate? If so, how do you deal with it?

Not as of recently but I have in the past, I tend to just delete it honestly. There was that one time I had hate when the face claim of my muse passed away and a anon said I should “let her go and delete the page” It hurt a lot more than I thought but I just deleted it I mean what else could I do.

20. If you could tell your muse something, what would it be?

You surprised me but you’re doing so well, better than I expected. Keep it up!

#Spellbook #taexmin-ia #I had to copy the ending gif it was too cute #This took longer than expected

[tidsoptlmist]

It’s a Boy-Girl Thing - E.D.

Authors note: I’M BACK! for those who care: my holiday was sO MUCH FUN OH MY GOD!! I had the bEST time!!! sadly school has started again and i’m drowning in homework again!!! 

disclaimer 1: over these past few weeks I’ve received so many asks about whether or not I was still gonna update this: the answer is YES!

I hate the feeling of letting you all wait or maybe letting you down when i’m not posting as often as i (and you) would want me to. 

the things is that (and this might come as a shocker) actually do have a life outside of tumblr. I’m in my senior year of high school and I trying to get good grades, so I can get into a good university next year...

I do love writing this and I am so excited to continue writing this story (and more!!) and I will not stop until this story is finished!!! I promise ahha!! I see those messages as a compliment (bc apparently you all like this very much and want to read more) but sometimes they make me feel a little bad/stressed because i feel like I’m let you all down... so yea..... I hope you all understand! 

(what im trying to say is that i dont really mind those asks but at the same time it won't help asking bc YES i will be updating: but only when I’m able to...) (which will be regularly again next week!!!!) (promise)

disclaimer 2: this wasn't proofread so my apologies for any (loads of) spelling/grammar error!!!!! im a dyslectic assclown who cant spell to safe their own life so yea... just a lil heads up

Part 9 一 ANIMOSITY

Summary: Ethan and Y/N are neighbors. And although Y/N is on good terms with Ethan’s twin brother Grayson, Y/N and Ethan loathe each other and are constantly in dispute. Ethan is a populair varsity football player, who likes to be in the spotlight. Y/N prefers to stay under the radar, while reading books and poetry.

Although the constant bickering between the two drives everyone around them crazy - the two live their separate lives peacefully. At least that’s how it was until they wake up one morning and every had changed…

PART 1 || PART 2 || PART 3 || PART 4 || PART 5 || PART 6 || PART 7 || PART 8 || PART 9 || PART 10

You liked sports. You honestly liked being active. But not in late summer, when it was hot like an oven outside and the air humid.

You could feel the sweat dripping down your back, your shirt completely drenched. Your heart beat banging in your head and your legs shaking. You squint your eyes against the intense sunset.

Ethan had made you run around the field all afternoon. He had made you run laps, do pushups, situps and all different sorts of exercises which names you had forgotten right after Ethan said you could stop doing them. After finishing you had dropped yourself next to Ethan on the grass: completely worn out.

‘What are you doing?’ Ethan had asked.

‘I’m taking a break. Actually, not even a break: I’m done! I think if I continue I might get a heart attack or something,’ you breath still went rapidly.

Ethan just laughed while grabbing a water bottle from the cooler he had taken with him. ‘What are you on about? This was the warming up!’ He threw a cold bottle of water next to you in the grass. Your hands quickly opened it and you gulped down half of the bottle before glaring at Ethan.

‘I’m definitely warm…’ You mumbled annoyed.

Slowly you had gotten up from the grass and Ethan had made you catch footballs for an hour. The sun was now setting and your whole body ached. You fell onto the bench at the side of the field.

‘I don’t think I’ll ever be able to leave this bench. I can’t carry your body anymore Eth,’ you sighed and wiped your forehead with his shirt. It didn’t help much: your shirt was completely soak. Ethan stood in front of you, grinning. Silently you watched the sunset behind the hills.

‘Let’s go home,’ you said, getting up. You grabbed your bag and looked at Ethan. He was still smiling at you. ‘I thought you said “you were never gonna be able to get off that bench”,’ he chucked at you. You rolled your eyes, but couldn't help but let a smile creep on your face.

‘We really need to head home though. Grayson said something about a party this morning and I think he really wants to go,’ you say as you walk towards the parking lot where Ethan had parked your car earlier.

‘Who’s hosting the party?’ Ethan asked you, eyeing your in a curious manner.

‘Austin, I think…’ You say, trying to remember what Grayson had said this morning. ‘He said Austin invited you both. And that it would be a big party. Apparently his parents are out of town.’

‘You should go,’ Ethan says, as he opens the trunk. You put the footballs and bottles of water and other training gear in the trunk.

‘I don’t want to go,’ you say in all honesty. Ethan rolls his eyes as he closes the trunk again.

‘Grayson and I never go somewhere alone-’

‘Yea, that’s kinda weird: you two should try to being more independent,’ you cut him off. Ethan eyes you angrily - irritated that you cut him off, but ignores your comment.

‘Like I said, before you cut me off: we never go somewhere alone. If Grayson wants to go: you go with him,’ Ethan says as he walks towards the driver seat. You walk towards passengers seat and get into your car.

‘I don’t like those kind of parties! What do you want me to do while I’m there?! Also; this could only go wrong. Someone will definitely notice something’s off!’ You tell him, trying to convince him why you shouldn’t go to Austin’s party.

‘You can try talking to some girls?’ Ethan suggests chuckeling, but quickly comes back from his idea: ‘Wait, no! Don’t talk to girls! You’ll for sure embarrass me!’

You glare at him. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘Y/N, you might have a 4.0 on your GPA but you definitely don’t have a 4.0 in flirting,’ Ethan laughs at his own joke.

‘I’m not that bad….’ You say softly.

‘You know what, I’ll go to the party as well. That way I can keep an eye on you so you don’t embarrass me too much.’ Ethan says. You give him another glare. Annoyed how he won’t trust you.

The field wasn’t far from your home. Ethan parked in front of the Dolan house and you got out of the car.

‘Do you need to pick an outfit for tonight too - or do you trust me to pick one out myself without embarrassing you?’ You snarled at him. Ethan looked unimpressed by your remark.

‘Nah, you’re good,’ he simply said, pushing a strand of your long hair out of his face. In the days that he had been trapped in your body, he had only wore your hair down. It was now that you relised it was probably because he didn’t know how to tie a ponytail with long hair. You huffed and walked towards the trunk where you got the footballs and other training gear.

You walked towards the Dolan house without saying goodbye to Ethan. You dumped the training gear in the garage and walked immediately upstairs. You grabbed a clean pair of undrwear and some basketball shorts and walked towards the shower.

You took a quick shower - the same way you did that morning. This time the towel didn’t drop and you got the underwear on in one go. You stood infront of Ethan’s side of the sink and sprayed on some cologne. You closed your eyes as you inhaled the scent: it was smelled very good.

You walked out of the bathroom and layed down on Ethan’s bed. The party wouldn’t start till 9:30 - so you had a good three hours to kill.

Before you really could think of something to do, Grayson barched into the room. These boys left eachother no privacy did they?!

‘E,’ he exclaimed as he jumbed on the bed next to you, ‘wanna play some video games?’

And before you knew it, you were walking towards Grayson’s room. It was practially the same as Ethan - but with different colored bedsheets and instead of a poster of a motercycle there was a poster of old looking car. You recognised Grayson’s Ford Bronco - altough the one on the poster was red in color. Grayson turned the PlayStation on and handed you a controller.

‘Dude!!’ Grayson yelled at you. You stared at the screen. “YOU DIED” it read in thic red letters.

‘I swear I shot them first! I don’t know how I died?!’ You said annoyed.

‘Why are you so bad at this game?! Did you lose all your skills while haning out with Y/N today or something?!’ Grayson said jokingly, although he stilled looked a little annoyed at you for losing.

‘No,’ you mumbed while restarting the game. Playing video games was more fun then you innitionally thought it would be. Grayson was good company too, chatting away about his day.

‘How is Y/N doing?’ Grayson asks suddenly. You huff, concentrating on the game, ‘she’s good.’

Grayson falls back on the bed, starring at the ceiling, ‘she looks good.’

His comment makes you forget the game and within a second the red letters spelling out “YOU LOST” fill the tv screen again.

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ You ask Grayson, confused. Grayson gives you a ‘like you don’t know what I’m talking about’-look. You gave him the ‘I-really-don’t-have-a-fucking-clue-what-you’re-talking-about-so-tell-me-now’-kind of look.

‘You said it yourself E: she has a good ass!’

You look at him in shock. It was weird hearing Grayson making comments about your ass - well just any ass - without getting red and flushed.

‘I never said that!’ Ethan would never say something like that about you!

‘Yea you did, like three days ago,’ Grayson says while taking the controller from you hands. ‘But don’t worry, I won’t tell Sophia tonight.’ He chuckles at his own joke. He walked towards the PlayStation and turns it off.

‘Is she gonna be there too?’ You mentally roll your eyes. Your energy level for this party just dropped to minus 6.

‘Yea, so let’s have some diner and get ready for this party,’ Grayson says as he walks out of his room. When he’s halfway down the stairs you hear him laugh and say:

‘and don’t forget to bring protection! We don’t want any surprises in 9 months!’

thank you for reading!! leave a comment if you feel like it!! 

please read the DISCLAIMER at the top!!

also: 

- i wrote a short grayson imagine but its not that good should i still post it???

- do you guys want me to make a master list? if so: let me know!! my ask

TAGS : @asapethan , @gabrielle-stark & @coconutethan here you go babes!!

#ethan dolan #ethan dolan imagine #ethan dolan imagines #ethan grant dolan #ethan dolan one shot #ethan dolan x reader #grayson dolan #grayson dolan imagine #grayson dolan imagines #grayson and ethan #dolan twins #the dolan twins #it's a boy-girl thing

[mc-slowwalker]

ahahaha it’s all g. and oh yeah paragraph breaks are 100% important I also will not read something without them tumblr was just adding like 5 line breaks between everything lol

yeah!! it’s cool too see how they will heal and get better (at least hopefully lol) with their current circumstances cause like they’ve all hurt other people in some way and of course forgiveness is not required at all and not everyone will be able to work together. there are fics that make the egg kind of like a common enemy for everyone on the server including c!dream which forces them to work together but I haven’t really seen one that does that concept well yet. in terms of redemption I think people tend to take it as including forgiveness which like the people hurt aren’t obligated to forgive everyone. it’s why I tend to dislike fics where c!tommy instantly forgives c!dream cause there’s more complexity to it than that which I think is fun to explore and like I think for any kind of positive change for those two characters will probably happen if they stay away from eachother.

also currently in the lore there’s just more conflict, even with c!puffy trying to help at least c!tommy we’ve got the egg (I’m an eggpire apologist what can I say) plus the las nevadas plot (I’m so excited for this) and the prison arc and it’s effects on c!dream, c!quackity and c!sam (god please cc!dream drop lore I beg TELL ME ABOUT THE COURTYARD) and the syndicate that had been pretty chill but now one of its members is locked in prison so that’s fun too (I hope I’m not forgetting any major plot point lol) This will definitely make the moving forward and healing a bit difficult

mmm yeah true age definitely makes a difference in how much flack people get but also how people handle it I’d say like for some younger people it’s 100% their first fandom and first online space so they’re pretty bad at handling themselves online. also while I dislike the “they’re a child” argument when it comes to the lore it’s interesting how much emphasis the fandom puts on the age of the characters

oohhh yes I find it sooo interesting how we determine the severity of crimes in our minds when it comes to media and real life!!!! I’ve been thinking about it for weeks in terms of fandom and real life cause I think it’s interesting and keep talking to people in my life about it completely randomly lmaooooo. like it’s intriguing (I got bored of the word interesting) how seriousness of crimes is determined in our minds and even in the law like it’s gotta do with its effect on other people I think that this would apply to the law as well. also yeah!! the whole “acceptable” crimes thing is super interesting to me cause when it comes to media murder is reduced in severity a lot and it’s cool to see the effect of that on character analysis cause like in real life murder is and should be deemed as a terrible crime. also when it comes to dsmp lore, especially cause of the minecraft mechanics applying real world rules such as criminal ones doesn’t always work. I would lowkey love to have that conversation about real world stuff adjkhsb

the povs 100% help. looking and c!techno for this I think is really interesting cause he definitely has his flaws too but the vast majority of cc!techno viewers would be considered c!techno apologists that can’t see his flaws. every other character too of course. this also why I think c!dream apologists tend to be better at character/lore analysis cause he doesn’t stream his pov. not always of course and I’ve definitely seen some c!dream apologist takes that I disagree with which just makes it all even more interesting honestly. main takeaway, cc!dream please drop lore it’s been months since that teaser

this is definitely the longest ask I’ve ever sent and I didn’t proof read it at all so sorry for that and any possible mistakes lol

honestly with the egg stuff and being the common enemy doesn’t really do it for me? I always joke that the author is c!dream ajdjkd because I think a common enemy wont fix things for the sever, they need to stop the cycle of revenge/abuse which is going to take a longass time because everyone is hurting so much. They syndacate has gotten closest to stopping that cycle out of everyone in the server which is fucking hilarious. I agree that forgiveness isn’t required but for both c!dream and c!tommy if one of them doesn’t walk away and/or apologize they’ll both keep ruminating on it forever. The fic that started this conversation was great because one of the part where c!tommy comes in and apologizes to c!dream. The closure and freedom it gave c!tommy to just fully walk away content with the last thing he said to c!dream is way way better than a future where c!dream just straight up dies. Here’s the thing, people are a lot more forgiving of the dead so while tommy might get freedom from that, he’d never get closure from it and I think it would continue to haunt him

Very excited for everyone and everything to go worse though keep it up dream smp make me hurt

I also feel like with fandoms there were a lot of unspoken rules that became cringe as the older fandoms grew up if that makes any sense. Like there were/are guidelines on how to be decent in fan spaces but a lot of them were unspoken and if you speak them, the people who would need it think it’s cringe. Sometimes I get secondhand embarrassment when I see those “fandom rules” posts but then I read it and it’s all really good advice?? It’s like hey don’t send death threats don’t harass people and just chillax we’re all here for fun

The “they’re a child” thing is interesting to me because while I also use it to excuse a lot of the dream smp minors, the age range I use “they’re just a kid” for is a lot more lenient than most. I add sap, niki, jack, and quackity to it as well as anyone in the 18 through 20 age range as well. Maybe this is because I’m 19 so I’m like “oh shit im still a kid the fuck”. Another side of this that I think is really funny is that in real life that’s 100% not how it works? Like there are jails for children minors aren’t just allowed to do whatever and let me tell you c!tommy would 1000% be in juvie right now. Minors on the dream smp have way more rights then minors in real life but sadly that also comes with way more responsibility and I think we should make c!tommy pay taxes

Murder in the dsmp vs real life is also really interesting because while they have more lives, we’ve seen with foolish & puffy that even taking away a first life is traumatic and cruel despite the apathy from everybody. And who it’s against is also a hige factor if someone makes w hige company’s life harder I’ll look away in the same way that people look away from c!tommy taking two of c!dream’s canon lives. The first life seems traumatic, and the second life is bad but more so because they now have to be careful. Taking a character’s last life would be one of the worst crimes in the universe I think. Instead of taking one life like how url stuff works, you’re taking 3 lives. A murderer killing one person vs killing multiple can dictate the sentence they get for sure, but also taking lives vs killing someone is also different on the dream smp so I dunno

C!Dream apologists certainly have to reach a lot more but it’s okay because I got long arms ig

Also despite me having time to proofread everything I am confident that I will have as many or more mistakes than you because Im jared 19 and also I somehow broke my autocorrect

#anon #ask #long post

[appalachianapologies]

i just did like two hours of math homework it’s time for me to watch some whump

#it actually wasn't too bad #i just wanted to get ahead jeje #OH SO WAIT STORY TIME: #yesterday ppl in my wing were all trying to mingle and get to know people and all that fun stuff #and someone was making small talk with me or whatever #asking about siblings #pets #blah blah blah #anyway and then they go ''so like what are you guilty pleasures'' #and ofc the first thing that comes to mind is ''whump'' #(sadly im still embarrassed about it but tumblr has helped a lot <3) #BUT I DIDN'T WANT TO SAY WHUMP #so instead i was like ''hahaha bubble tea and sweets haha'' #skfjldklsfjddkfsjl

[survivorandalucia]

“Wokest Bitch of the West”- Petra

I'm fucking quitting why did you have to cast these fucking people

OMG I made it and it's started and I'm soooo ready

RHONE ! Bless.

i love men that means im not a lesbian

Ohhh bitch i am here! I was legit just having a mental brake down and now im here. Ohh boy!!! Im so excited to be here and now im seeing Amanda again! But me geting jenna out and willa ohh boy! Im gonna have to talk to willa and hopefully jenna isn't so harsh this time around! Ah im so excited i just hope im not a pre-juror boot because im going to be so emotional this game and hopefully play a villainous card!

toby marlow is sexy as fuck what the mhell

I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS!!!! So far, not much has happened which can be good or bad. I'm a bit nervous to be playing with returnees being on the other tribe because they might be better at immunity challenges than us. I'm a bit nervous about Pine Boy being in this game because I heard that he's really good. So far I like Toph (Azores buddy <3), Sultana, Jacob, and Nick. Nick came to me right away and said he liked me and wanted an alliance with me. I was like sure!!! Who would I be to decline an alliance? An idiot, that's what I would be. I'm wondering how we're going to do idol hunting on this season and I hope we find out soon. I want to redeem myself from my Azores mess. That reminds me, Toph being here can be really bad for both of our games. If anyone know what Azores is, they know that I gave Toph my idol. They know that we were close, which can be really bad for our games. If people look at Azores and assume that we're still close (which we are), we're fucked in the long run. I love writing confessionals, I missed that in Azores. Sure, we had Ponderosa confessionals, but I wanted to talk more game shit in there. Another thing that I'm worried about: If Toph read my in-game confessionals during Azores, he knows that I'm reluctant to play by his side again. Or, if he has a brain, he can infer it from that. Hopefully, this wont all blow up in my face. I can't wait for the shit show to start after the immunity challenge.

I really am gonna have to fight the hosts

Not letting me idol search and putting me on this tribe. There is only ONE girl on my tribe. And rhone and the boys. I hate men fuck you all. Also Jake being on my tribe when he has the personality of a dead foot yikes. I hate this tribe i hate this game. Get me my shit i wanna leave now. 

Except jordan pines and daniel they cool.

Heyo! The name’s Johnny, from Survivor: India, the guy who went through only two tie votes in his seasons, and I guess I’m ready to swing at the sandbags again. I’m glad to be back and hopefully I don’t fall in the pits that I fell in last time. I’m not settling for premerge this time ‘round. So this tribe is definitely a lot bigger & badder than I expected. Lots of personalities, lots of players, and a shit ton of self-professed “bitches”, “villains”, and whatnot. I just want to survive a while in here so I’m ready to slap on the under-the-radar happy tribe mascot sticker. But of course, the twist is revealed. I tried for the advantage but as always, my luck runs dry and I’m beaten to it. Figured Jordan Pines had it and right I was - dude won immunity. Lucky fella. Oh well, better him than ~some~ people, because at least he probably won’t want me gone first. I’ve also had some decent chats with Issy & Daniel, a bit o’ back-and-forth with Chris, and barely anything with Jake, Isaiah, and LA. And Adrian & Rhone, as far as I know, is a no-show so far. I do know Adrian though, so hopefully that gives me some brownie points! Now we’re gonna go on a tribe call and if there’s anything I know about myself, I’m both awkward and quiet on large calls so… hopefully I leave a decent impression.

So the tribe call just ended with the understanding that a second one would start, and guess what didn’t happen? It does feel a smidgen shady so hopefully there isn’t some chat without me already made because THAT would suck. After the call, though, Jake comes to me all desperate asking “We’re good right? I won’t vote you.” Dang, this guy moves quick. He asks me what I want to do and when I say wait it out for a little bit, he says “Good plan, low key wanna help the tribe.” Mate, simmer down, no need to jump on the gameplay horse so quick. I feel like he has some bad connection with someone, but I’m just not quite sure who that’d be. I know nothing about Tumblr connections, sadly. I trust Jordan right now - not too much, of course, I’ve heard how good he is at this stuff - but I’ll give him a little info and hope he reciprocates. I just wanna live until I reach a point where I can go full India mode and explode onto the scene. We’ll have to see if I can suffer through this tribe, first… I’ll just suffer well.

GUESS WHO WON IMMUNITY PEEPS ANYWAYS so since im at least surviving 1 tribal i have time to build relationships with these people, i've been talking to amanda and she's cool, and atm im on call with jacob/toph/peyton and im waiting for someone to add me to an alliance because im so talented

Everything seems pretty tame but since there is a tribal coming up, that scares me. I like Madison, Taylor, Sultana, Toph, Jacob, and Nick as of now. I'm going to watch the videos right now to see where people's heads are at right now. If I can do that, I'll be able to get a better read on everyone. Hopefully, that will help me with figuring out who to vote out. I'll pray for the best while reading Animal Farm.

CONFESSIONAL: This is my first time in tumblr survivor history that I will be present at the premiere of the season. Pretty fucking excited. I'm like a survivor noob when it comes to the premiere. I've always been gone during it so this is my first premiere ever! I am hoping my 2nd and 1st place finishes don't put a early target on my back. I just need to make sure the tribe views me as an asset as opposed to a threat CONFESS: i think my status will help me. it says something about depression i think people will like that and that should be a convo starter

so me being the little bean that i am decided to have everyone join the call and now im an alliance called the "core fore" i mean like its me Payton, madison, and Jacob! okay that was just some basic ass info. here's my thoughts on everyone else! Amanda sledge: the only person i will trust in this game. she played an idol on me in Azores and if that isn't trust i don't know what else is. Payton: he seems ok, i mean he kinda seems Plainer then Rasin Bran but i mean her has a goat farm and litty. Madison: she seems woke and i would like to work with her given her immunity win and letting everything happen with this alliance already taylor: i mean he seems ok. But like he just got on call so ill keep you posted on him. Sultana: a woke ass queen! i really wanna work with her she seems super funny and chill and like a queen of everything she dose like harassing her mom for food! i would love to work with her will she wants too as well! the others: they have said nothing so like ima try and get one of them out now or payton. dfjbndofb Ok so currently i'm in about 2 alliances! Amanda, nick and myself are in one alliance. meanwhile i'm in an alliance with  Jacob, Payton, and Madison together so like i have no idea if this is good or not because i don't wanna be caught so i feel like i need to tell Amanda so she dose not get mad and i can work with her! I really have no clue on what is going to happen. I don't want to trust anyone yet because tomorrow we will see were the lines will be drawn. I am like 50% that someone inactive will be voted off. but not if i have anything to say about that! I want payton out because i feel like he is dry and kinda basic. after all i will try and be the villain of the season oops! i honestly really like Petra though and think shes very chill and interesting. lets hope she feels the same way. i'm hoping i can just stay calm for now and then go and cry about it latter. i honestly am very hungry right now though like i ugh. Ok that is besides the point. But i feel like i need to bring my paranoid level up to like a ten because i can't trust none of these bitches or i'm gonna be scared as hell. my ears are open to everything and i have a google docs open and im ready to kill some people. 

So at the beginning of the game, me and Amanda talked alot and decided to team up. Then Amanda was good friends with Toph. So then we formed a three person alliance. While we were on call, me Amanda, Toph and Suitana formed an alliance. The twist was announced that both tribes will be going to tribal. I really hope I am not first out but I got a solid 4 person alliance called the Wig Snatchers with them.

I feel like I'm the least extra person here and some of them I think don't like that I'm not super extra

ok idk who 2 vot cuz im just a woke ass bitch and like i havent come across anyone that im rly annoyed with xcept payt TBH hes just awkward and like totally denies my humor via not laughing and everyones talking about this person called jenna they had tea drama with or smth so im like O _ O

I love being on tribe calls because late at night is when alliances are made! I'm currently in an alliance with Petra, Nick, and Toph (Seamus too). We don't have the majority yet, but I like Jacob and Madison. I hope they will vote Jenna with us. I heard nothing but bad things about her from Toph and she seemed cool, but I think right now it's our best option to get her out since she has no wifi at the moment.

Hey everyone, first confessional. I have not played in one of these games in a very long time so I feel very rusty. Anyway, this double tribal twist could really mess up my game but I can't worry about that at the moment. My plan is watch my tribemates videos and try to find common ground. I know Poteet is really embarrassed about going out premerge, and I went premerge too so we can talk about that. I need to take it one step at a time.

I have gained the trust of a good amount of the tribe, and they all are just kinda doing what I say, so i feel like i have some power suddenly. Not saying I'm on the path the a villain but we'll see what happens.

i want to die

Joy, oh joy. I wake up this morning (if 11:30 AM is considered morning) with Jake being the only message to me and I think, THAT can't be a good sign. So he reiterates him wanting to work with me, yadda yadda, badda bing, and says that he values we have history. I'm pretty sure our history is just like one or two Skype minis so unless I'm forgetting something, ripperoni. He also tells me he's "heard a few names floating around" but when I asked him who it was, no response. Go figure. Luckily, Chris Stoner messages me and tells me that as of now Jake is the vote (I'm assuming from the mind of Jordan Pines) so at least I have some solace there. I don't think I'll be going at the end of the day, but there's still the very real fear that my head's on the chopping block, and I don't want to be lynched tonight, nosiree.

So while my video confessional is uploading, it seems like I got Taylor's vote to get Jenna out! I'm really excited to not be the first boot, honestly. I'm sad though because she never got to send me pictures of her kittens. Maybe if I keep her she'll show me! Anyways, how's your day? My mom broke our snapchat streak and it's quite disappointing... like I came out of your vagina and you're going to treat me like this?? Oop my video confessional uploaded here it is in all its (not) glory!

So Jake said that Rhone had suggested Issy (due to their beef from another game, pretty sure it was a wiki game I viewed lmao) or Chris to go home. I found this a little bit fishy but then again I've found most of what Jake's been doing to be fishy. However Jake seems to think it'll be Issy going which is convenient. I also hopped on a call with Jordan Pines and we traded a bit of info - I'm not going to give him EVERYTHING persay (I've been told many stories about him so best to tread lightly) but luckily he gave me some. Jake had randomly made an alliance chat with Jordan and Rhone last night without informing either of them and both distrusted it. Jordan wants to keep some sorta secret information sharing pact between the two of us and I'm game, but I need to make sure he trusts me so I still have to actually give him credible tales. I've just gotta stay on his good side for now and be the nice, honest fella on the tribe. That'll keep me afloat until the swap (which seems like it'll be an auxillary situation. How fun). I do like Isaiah and Adrian a bit and I wouldn't mind working with those two, it'd be nice to get something rolling along with em. We'll have to see, though, because I'm not sure how social Adrian's been so far. As of now, our first boot should be Jake. Let's just hope we can stay strong and not lose to those meddlesome newbies.

I'm not going to lie... I'm a bit nervous. A tribal shouldn't be going this smoothly  unless there's something going on in the background. Dear god, let this work out. I will write more after tribal is over, I'm just too nervous right now. 

#breakhershoulder