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booksandseventeen · 4 years

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Characters on a Road trip

No one asked for this so here it is <3

Warning: Crack is my specialty

Akaashi: The Overpreparer

Iwaizumi: The Road Rager

Oikawa: The selfie taker

Tsukishima: The DJ

Bokuto: The Complainer

Kuroo: The Navigator

Ushijima: The Small Bladder

Road trip One-shot:

1 hour in

“~See the line where the sky meets the sea? It calls meeee

And no one knowsssss, how far it goessss~”

“SHITTY-KAWA! SHUTUP!” Iwaizumi turned around in his seat so fast that Hinata jumped and screamed

“I’ll try to find another song that he doesn’t know.” Tsuki grumbled and scrolled through his phone.

The tree’s blurred fast and the afternoon sun beat down on the small mini van that carried the volleyball players. They were all on their way to a training camp that they had all unknowingly signed up for together. And what better way to get there than by car pooling?

“I have to pee.”

“God damnit Ushijima, we asked if anyone needed to go in that last town!” Oikawa growled and shot the ace a piercing look.

“Are we there yet?” Bokuto complained, his body draped against all three seats in the back row of the van.

Akaashi sighed, “no Bokuto, we are not there, we have a ways to go.”

“well i’m very bored. I’m probably the most bored person on the planet.”

Kuroo looked at the passing street signs, “Wait...I think we were supposed to take that right turn back there.”

Hinata was suddenly slammed against the window when Iwaizumi came to a screeching halt and began to reverse into traffic. “I’M NOT MAKING ANOTHER U-TURN” he screamed

*snap* “omg Hinata your face is so ugly in this picture. i’ll send it to everyone we know.” Oikawa laughed to himself.

2 hours in

Oikawa: “OPEN UP THE DIRTY WINDOW”

Hinata: “LET THE SUN ILLUMINATE THE WORDS YOU CAN NOT FIND

Bokuto: “REACHING FOR SOMETHING IN THE DISTANCE”

Akaashi: “so close you can almost taste it”

Kuroo: “release your inhibitions”

Everyone together: “FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN! NO ONE ELSE CAN FEEL IT FOR YOU! ONLY YOU CAN LET IT IN! NO ONE ELSE, NO ONE ELSE, CAN SPEAK THE WORDS ON YOUR LIPS!”

3 hours in:

“Okay seriously, who farted. No judgement, I just want to know.” Akaashi rolled down the window and stuck his nose out while everyone else stuck their noses in their shirts.

“I bet it was Ushijima, all he’s been eating are those kale chips.”

“It was Tsuki, he started playing songs with the loudest beats to cover it up.”

“It was me.” Bokuto yawned and let out another rip.

Hinata slammed into the passengers seat when Iwaizumi slammed on the brakes, “I gotta go puke i’ll be right back.”

4 hours in:

“Kuroo are you sure the map is correct?” Akaashi asked after he was done passing out the sandwiches.

“of course! it’s never steered me wrong.”

Can I see it?” asked Tsuki.

“sure thing, here you go” and then Kuroo passed it back.

“Kuroo, I didn’t know you could speak french.”

*silence*

“that’s in french?”

“AHHHH!” Hinata screamed when he was thrown by Iwaizumi slamming on the brakes into Ushijima’s stomach who immediately double over.

“I just urinated on myself.”

Oikawa turned around, “better not.”

Ushijima just nodded yes.

4 1/2 hours in:

“Tsuki please, enough with the “alvin and the chipmunks sing jurassic park soundtrack’”

“HINATA!” Oikawa yelled, “it’s CROSS, LEAN, SNAP! THE RENEGADE ISN’T THAT HARD! Now I have to start my tiktok all over”

5 hours in:

“we have a problem!” Iwaizumi yelled and Bokuto sat up, three neck pillow piled on his neck and a sleeping mask that said “sleeping beauty” in pink glittery letters.

“YOU’RE GETTING US PULLED OVER?!” Kuroo yelled.

“Don’t worry. I got this.” Iwaizumi said as he pulled over to the side of the road and Akaashi began to make sure everyone was buckled up and began to straighten out Oikawa’s clothes...Akaashi knew what was about to go down.

The officer knocked on the window and bent down when Iwaizumi rolled down the window.

“Do you know why I pulled you over young man?” The officer peered at the group from over the top of his black sunglasses. Hinata was visible shaking, Ushijima was asleep, Kuroo was videotaping the encounter, Bokuto was trying to guess Tsuki’s password and Akaashi was styling Oikawa’s hair.

“No sir...but we are kind of in a rush, is there anything we can do to let us off the hook.” Iwaizumi eyed the cop up and down, “perhaps....a bribe?”

The cop straightened up and looked both ways down the road before leaning down again, “That’ll be 10,000 yen.”

“yo, Ushijima, how much yen you got on you right now?”

Ushijima reached into his pockets to reveal nothing, “I spent it all at the last town we were at.”

“WHAT COULD YOU HAVE POSSIBLY SPENT IT ON?” Tsuki yelled.

“The town. I bought the entire town. Its name is “Welcome to Shiratorizawa, you can never leave.”

The cop watched the exchange and raised an eyebrow. “If you can’t come up with the money, I’ll take something more....personal.” and licked his lips. “I’ll take him.” and pointed to Oikawa.

Iwaizumi cursed, “I wish it didn’t have to come to this.”

“Akaashi, Kuroo. Grab Oikawa.”

“WAIT WH-” but before Oikawa could fight them off the boys had pushed him out the door to the waiting car before driving off.

“And then there were 6.” Bokuto sighed

At the destination:

The boy’s stumbled out of the car all hyped up on red bull and trail mix. At one point Bokuto had shaved an “avatar the last airbender” arrow into Hinata’s hair and Oikawa was muttering “license and registration please.” over and over again under his breath. They had picked up Oikawa the next town over where he had been seen trying to hitch hike

Ushijima and Tsuki were currently fighting on what was the great dinosaur to ever live. T-rex for Tsuki, and a seagull for Ushijima.

Kuroo and Akaashi had come out of the trip relatively unscathed besides Kuroo speaking nothing but french.

And Iwaizumi now had a warrant out for his arrest in 7 provinces. Slowly, they all made their way to the gym the training camp was supposed to be held only to freeze in their tracks at the sign hanging on the door.

“reporté à la semaine prochaine?” Kuroo asked

“Postponed to next week.” Akaashi translated.

“oh....no...”

#hq #haikyu #haikyū!!#haikyuu #hq ushijima #ushijima wakatoshi #haikyuu ushijima #iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi haikyuu #tsukishima kei #hinata shoyo #bokuto koutaro #akaashi keiji #oikawa torū

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blustersquall · 5 years

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I debated sending this because I’ve seen things you’ve reblogged about societal pressure to be beautiful, how it’s *okay* not to be and sometimes damaging to insist someone is, but I just honestly think that pic of you and Nova is *lovely*, and I wanted you to know... but also the last thing I want is for this to come off like I am intentionally disregarding the feelings that you’ve presented about that. ...I hope this doesn’t feel like a shitty message you didn’t want.

Its not a shitty message and I didn't take it in a bad way. I'm actually very touched and flattered you think the photo is nice. :) I am not much of a selfie taker, so when I do upload something that is so much my face I'm always a bit wary.

Thank you for the kind words. ♡

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b0mbshelle · 5 years

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God, I love fly me to you dates. It’s so much fun packing up and going to a new place, hosting in a new spot, having a failsafe excuse to eat at whatever restaurant I’d usually reason myself out of eating at— “When will I ever be in this city again? May as well!”

Plus, I’m a big city girl at heart but based in a small town, so it’s always such a relief to get out. Away from my town, away from my shitty housemates, I feel so unbelievably free.

Going back home is depressing as hell through. But the leaving home part is really nice, especially since it comes with a nice fat chunk of change 🤑

I really need to strategize and focus on my marketing this year. I want to do at least one fly-me-to-you a month, and I want to book more multi-hour dates. I got pretty lucky, I think, as most of my clients book me for 1.5 hours rather than just one, but now I need to figure out how to turn those 1.5 dates into dinner dates and overnights. I definitely need some clothes photos on my website, and could probably post more clothed selfies on my twitter, but I’ve never been much of a selfie taker to begin with, is the problem. (now that I think about it I should probably post more selfies on my twitter, period) So it just never occcurs to me until I’ve already undressed for the day.

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antmfunny · 6 years

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1. Mirror Mirror on the Wall - Who’s the Selfiest Queen of All?

Tyra Banks bursts into the Top Model pad to rant about how shitty selfies are these days. She should know - she cruises Instagram endlessly.

She’s here to show the models how to take better mirror shots because sometimes you break up with your photographer boyfriend and have to learn to do the job yourself! (That is only partially a masturbation reference.)

Never mind that the judges constantly insist they’re not looking for an Instagram model, it’s the most practical outcome for most of these contestants, so you might as well set them up for a modicum of success.

Before the lesson commences, we get a pretty much irrelevant clip of Jeana talking about how much she loves Tyra while photos of Tyra scroll on the screen. It’s like, “Hey, guys, you remember Tyra, right?” YES. We have never forgotten Tyra or what she looks like but thanks for the glamor shots.

I don’t have an Instagram account because so many social media platforms come and go that I refused to join new ones past a certain point. By now, it’s clear Instagram is here to stay, so my current excuse is just stubbornness (I swear I’m not as old as Erin.) I’m not sure I’ve ever taken a proper mirror selfie before, and I want to be clear that I know that’s an obnoxious thing to say, that being THAT counter-culture is as obnoxious as someone who is constantly taking selfies.

All of that is to say, even though I don’t know the first thing about selfie excellence, Tyra’s tips all seem to make sense and be useful, and that’s NOT something I can about most other Tyra lessons, like that one about animal necks.

TYRA TIP No. 1: #SLAY

SLAY stands for So Look At Yourself. Evidently, a lot of amateurs look at the camera rather than making smize contact in the mirror, so Tyra encourages selfie-takers to find the shot on the phone, then look toward themselves.

TYRA TIP No. 2: #CIAO

CIAO stands for Crop It All Out. In a lot of mirror selfies, the most prominent part is the camera in the reflection. So Tyra encourages photo-takers to take the shot, then zoom in and crop the camera out.

It’s simple advice, but perhaps too difficult of an acronym since the models have no idea how to spell Ciao. Man, we’ve regressed a lot from the cycles where the winner gets a spread in Italian Vogue.

TYRA TIP No. 3: #DipItLow

Another way to avoid making the camera the focus of the shot is to place it so centrally. Tyra encourages the girls to hold the camera below the waist and tilt it upwards so people first look at the outfit they’re showing off, not the camera.

I don’t know why we don’t get a acronym here like the other two, that just seems lazy. What’s wrong with #DIL? Or if that’s too pickle-y, maybe #HILL (Hold It Low, Ladies) or #DTF (Dip That Fone).

Okay, now it’s time to put these tips into action, and Tyra has enlisted the help of Jourdan Dunn, a “super”model who didn’t think she wanted to be a model until she started watching ANTM as a teenager and decided, fuck it, this looks easy enough. Tyra gets excited as if Jourdan is some Top Model success story, but it’s not like she auditioned to be on the show - she instead chose the path of having a real career.

Jourdan seems like a fine guest and all, but if Tyra really wanted to bring on someone known for his mirror selfies, she should have looked no further than Cycle 22’s Dustin McNeer. As anyone who’s made the mistake of scrolling through the ANTM tag on Tumblr already knows, he takes mirror selfies on the daily and most definitely makes sure the focus of the photo is on something other than his cellphone. (Penis. I’m referring to his penis.)

For the challenge, the models will dress in Jourdan’s designer house sweats and take shots. The winner of the challenge will get her selfie shot on Jourdan’s Instagram page, which has 2 million followers.

Rio seems stoked, explaining that being featured on Jourdan’s account could get her “millions of followers.” To get millions of new followers, that’d mean that EVERY one of Jourdan’s followers would have to decide to follow Rio based on a single post. Especially after Rio’s snide comment about she doesn’t follow back most of her followers because they’re not interesting, I’d say there’s a FAT CHANCE of that. And unlike Rio, I don’t mean that in a fat-shamey way.

Speaking of fat, Khrystyana says that she got her follower count up by showing off her fat rolls. God, I love her.

Meanwhile, Sandra got her follower count up by being beautiful and popular and all those other things Rio hates. She does well and probably should have won this challenge, except that the show was finally fixing to cut her, so they couldn’t let her win.

Erin’s getting full grandma edit this segment as she yet again moans that she doesn’t know anything about social media. After seeing Khrystyana and Sandra’s follower count, Erin’s is hilarious:

Hey, at least it exceeds her age… by one. I’m not sure why Erin finds taking a picture of herself to be so difficult, but she needs Khrystyana to come and literally guide her through the process. I love how they choose this shot of her to showcase with Khrystyana’s hand on Erin’s:

Can you really call that a selfie? That’s more like an assisted selfie, which is probably popular in the assisted living facility in which Erin resides. Tyra concludes that Erin needed a Selfie 1.0 lesson instead of the Selfie 2.0 lesson she offered the models. It’s true, Tyra is teaching selfies at a Harvard level. She is a professor of self-promotion (I’m not kidding) after all.

Fortunately for Erin, she does great at the real photoshoot, so Tyra gives her a pass. She still only receives her photo middle of the pack call-out-wise, though, which is not a good sign for her longevity if the judges correctly call it her best photo yet.

Tyra also nails Kyla for ignoring her selfie rules, but hey, what do you expect from someone so stupid? Kyla doesn’t DipItLow, she doesn’t make it croppable… It’s one thing to tune out Drew Elliott, but THEE TYRA BANKS? She’s shitting out more gold than Shanice did after accidentally swallowing a bunch of paint at the shoot. It’s not a good look for Kyla since we know Tyra loves a girl who listens.

All right, time for the winner: it’s Jeana, because who needs hair when you’re wearing a hat and a hood simultaneously?! As a bonus prize, Jeana gets to keep the outfit she’s wearing, which is kind of like when you’re at a bar doing a brand promotion and they say, “You can keep the glass!” and you think, “But I don’t even want the glass.”

Okay, CIAO, everybody! And by that, I mean goodbye.

4 Funniest Moments of America’s Next Top Model Cycle 24 Ep. 8

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nikodraws · 7 years

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Answer all the oc questions about your problematic fav oc

I FUCKING DID IT DAMN YOU! Problematic fav is a hard since a large fraction of my characters are terrible trash babies. So I chose what I consider to be the worst boy I’ve ever made.

Caddy Baptis. A terrible thing spawned from making Anime Campaign characters

and this is too many questions! So I’ll just go till I just don’t have it in me to continue.

1. What’s their full name? Why was that chosen? Does it mean anything?

Caddeford “Caddy” Baptis. Means literally nothing. Was originally gunna be for a different character but the name didn’t fit so I just kept it for later.

2. Do they have any titles? How did they get them?NOPE. He’s not that important.

3. Did they have a good childhood? What are fond memories they have of it? What’s a bad memory?

Caddy has no memories of anything that happened to him before his was 8! If you ask him his child hood was… Good?? His fond memories would be any of him and Nikki palling around the orphanage. A bad memory would probably be the brief moment in time the care takers at the orphanage attempted to separate Caddy and Nikki in an attempt to protect her from the violent dangerous child that has attached himself to her. It was short lived. Caddy’s horrible behavior got increasingly worse the longer he wasn’t allowed to carry Nikki around.

4. What is their relationship with their parents? What’s a good and bad memory with them? Did they know both parents?

Caddy has no memory of anything before he was 8. He was just found wondering around with a massive head wound, no memories, and no one looking for him.

5. Do they have any siblings? What’s their names? What is their relationship with them? Has their relationship changed since they were kids to adults?

Caddy has his “sister” Nikki baptis. They are not related. They were in the orphanage together and Caddy just ghosted her away in the night when he got too old to continue living there. Caddy loves the shit out of Nikki and the two are super dependent on each other. Caddy will do anything or maim anyone to keep Nikki in one peace and Nikki is the only one who can talk him down once he gets too worked up. She tends to just go along with any and all of his dangerous and illegal plans without question. She trusts him implicitly even though she knows his impulsive and dangerous. Nikki is one of only two people Caddy actually views as anything aside from being a game piece in his on going and ever escalating quest for dangerous thrills. The two are so emotionally dependent on eachother it’s questionable that if one would be able to function without the other.

6. What were they like at school? Did they enjoy it? Did they finish? What level of higher education did they reach? What subjects did they enjoy? Which did they hate?

Caddy never finished any schooling. Caddy often found school boring and a bored caddy is a dangerous Caddy. He would skip classes and get in fights on a regular basis. Caddy was good at Phys Ed since it gave him a temporary outlet for his energy. Everything else was a no-go. He was briefly in theater.

7. Did they have lots of friends as a child? Did they keep any of their childhood friends into adulthood?

Caddy had no friends besides Nikki as a kid. Due to their appearance and the tendency kids have to be shitty he started out a victim if ridicule and quickly became feared when he badly injured another child. He and Nikki are still very close.

8. Did they have pets as a child? Do they have pets as an adult? Do they like animals?

No.

9. Do animals like them? Do they get on well with animals?

No.

10. Do they like children? Do children like them? Do they have or want any children? What would they be like as a parent? Or as a godparent/babysitter/ect?

No.

11. Do they have any special diet requirements? Are they a vegetarian? Vegan? Have any allergies?

Nope.

12. What is their favourite food?

Caddy really like Mac and Cheese.

13. What is their least favourite food?

Caddy will actually eat anything. He doesn’t like the taste of artificial strawberry flavoring but will still eat anything fake strawberry nonsense if presented to him.

14. Do they have any specific memories of food/a restaurant/meal?

Not really.

15. Are they good at cooking? Do they enjoy it? What do others think of their cooking?

Caddy isn’t super good at cooking. He only learned so he could make food for Nikki after they left the orphanage. His specialty is what I can best describe as “Struggling single dad trying his best” meals. He knows it’s mediocre at best.

16. Do they collect anything? What do they do with it? Where do they keep it?

Weaponry Mostly guns and explosives. Used mostly to rob banks. He keeps them at their safe house and in the secret compartments of Chance’s car.

17. Do they like to take photos? What do they like to take photos of? Selfies? What do they do with their photos?

No. It’s not an aversion. Just a general disinterest.

18. What’s their favourite genre of: books, music, tv shows, films, video games and anything else

Caddy likes cartoons, soap operas and horror.

19. What’s their least favourite genres?

Sitcom.

20. Do they like musicals? Music in general? What do they do when they’re favourite song comes?

He does! Caddy loves music and musicals. When his favorite song (Or any song he knows) comes on he belts it loudly.

21. Do they have a temper? Are they patient? What are they like when they do lose their temper?

Oddly enough Caddy doesn’t have a temper and is rarely genuinely angry. He’s fairly patient willing to wait around for hours to accomplish a thing he’s decided is going to happen and can put up with even the most trying of people. Caddy is likely a cold fury type.

22. What are their favourite insults to use? What do they insult people for? Or do they prefer to bitch behind someone’s back?

As violent and loud as Caddy is he’s not much of trash talker. He might refer to someone as ‘Fucker’ from time to time but his language is actually pretty mild. He has negative filter so he’ll say rude and terrible thoughts out loud with no regard for who is nearby.

23. Do they have a good memory? Short term or long term? Are they good with names? Or faces?

Caddy has a good memory for things and people he cares to remember. If he decides it’s not something he needs to worry about he’s disregard it pretty much instantly.

24. What is their sleeping pattern like? Do they snore? What do they like to sleep on? A soft or hard mattress?

Caddy doesn’t sleep much. He’s generally either on 0 or 100 and he doesn’t hit 0 very often. He snores like a lawnmower and can sleep on anything. Tends to fall asleep on the couch on in the car. He’s not allowed to drive and car motion puts him to sleep.

25. What do they find funny? Do they have a good sense of humour? Are they funny themselves?

Caddy has a dangerous sense of humor. Most of the things he thinks are funny involve other people have a bad time. He thinks he’s hilarious. No one else does.

26. How do they act when they’re happy? Do they sing? Dance? Hum? Or do they hide their emotions?

Caddy is pretty open with how he’s feeling actually. He’s pretty happy most of the time. He’s loud and rambunctious on his best days. And friendly in an almost sinister way on his worst.

27. What makes them sad? Do they cry regularly? Do they cry openly or hide it? What are they like they are sad?

Sad = angry. Very rare.

28. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?

Caddy’s biggest fear is loosing Nikki. Other then that he’s positive he’s scarier then most other things. When scared Caddy fights with even less regard for his own life then usual since that probably means Nikki is in danger.

29. What do they do when they find out someone else’s fear? Do they tease them? Or get very over protective?

Depends. For people he’s close to (AKA Literally only chance and Nikki) He might give a weird phobia a hard time but he’ll be mindful and is probably the one to resolve the issue if it comes up. For anyone else he’s not interested and won’t engage in anyway.

30. Do they exercise? Regularly? Or only when forced? What do they act like pre-work out and post-work out?

Yes! Caddy is a very physically oriented guy. His primary source of income before the crime spree was underground bareknuckle boxing. His behavior isn’t super different going into or out of a work out? Afterwards he might be slightly less aggressive for a while having used up some energy.

31. Do they drink? What are they like drunk? What are they like hungover? How do they act when other people are drunk or hungover? Kind or teasing?

He does not! His epithet kind of makes it so he has to go extra hard on drinks to get drunk and he doesn’t much like it anyway. Again he’s surprisingly patient. He thinks drunk people are hilarious the sloppier the better. Though the already high chances that Caddy get in a fight might get exponentially higher in a bar full of rowdy people.

32. What do they dress like? What sorta shops do they buy clothes from? Do they wear the fashion that they like? What do they wear to sleep? Do they wear makeup? What’s their hair like?

Caddy dresses… fine? He doesn’t put a lot of time and effort into what he’s wearing but he’s not a slob. Generally a hoodie (Usually his favorite “POW!” hoodie), t-shirt and jeans will do him fine. He wears only brief to sleep. He doesn’t wear make up on a regular basis but it’s not unheard of. And Caddy has far more hair then he has any business having. He keeps it tied up to keep it out of the way but when untied it dangerous close to ass length.

33. What underwear do they wear? Boxers or briefs? Lacey? Comfy granny panties?

briefs

34. What is their body type? How tall are they? Do they like their body?

Caddy is a brawler. Built to give and dole out pretty heavy damage. He’s about 7'2" and he thinks he’s hot.

35. What’s their guilty pleasure? What is their totally unguilty pleasure?

Caddy has no guilt. He likes cartoons, musicals and shitty pop music openly.

36. What are they good at? What hobbies do they like? Can they sing?

Caddy is very good at fighting and various physical activities. He’s also surprisingly good at crafts and practical affects, at some point he worked with props and affects at a theater. His hobbies are fighting and fighting. And yes he can sing pretty well if he wants. But usually is just yelling.

37. Do they like to read? Are they a fast or slow reader? Do they like poetry? Fictional or non fiction?

Caddy isn’t much of a reader. He’s not a speed reader or anything but he can read competently. He not into poetry, and if he is gunna read ever he prefers fiction.

38. What do they admire in others? What talents do they wish they had?

I don’t think… Caddy admires other? He loves Chance though! He thinks chance is the coolest person in all of the land and admires his ability to function calmly and collectedly in dangerous and horrible situations.

39. Do they like letters? Or prefer emails/messaging?

I… have no idea. I don’t even think he has a phone. The idea of Caddy handling technology is actually baffling to me and he doesn’t have anyone to write letters to.

40. Do they like energy drinks? Coffee? Sugary food? Or can they naturally stay awake and alert?

He doesn’t tend to need energy drinks or coffee. He’s epithet keeps him running at pretty much all times.

41. What’s their sexuality? What do they find attractive? Physically and mentally? What do they like/need in a relationship?

Caddy is super pansexual. And is attracted to anyone who can be described as “Pretty” Male, female, or otherwise and he doesn’t relationship. That would require the ability to be emotionally invested in anything that’s not Nikki’s continued survival.

42. What are their goals? What would they sacrifice anything for? What is their secret ambition?

Caddy is addicted to thrills. The need to experience an adrenaline rush is what drives him. The only thing he considers self sacrifice worthy is Nikki. And non of his ambitions are secret.

43. Are they religious? What do they think of religion? What do they think of religious people? What do they think of non religious people?

Caddy is not religious even the tiniest bit. Has never put much thought into it, and has no interest in what anyone else thinks of it.

44. What is their favourite season? Type of weather? Are they good in the cold or the heat? What weather do they complain in the most?

Caddy prefers colder weather so fall and winter are his favorite seasons. You’ll often catch him complaining in summer because he runs hot and very quickly becomes his own personal oven.

45. How do other people see them? Is it similar to how they see themselves?

I CERTAINLY HOPE NO ONE SEEMS THEMSELVES IN CADDY! Most people will see Caddy as a loud violent crazy man. Even during his calmer moments if your not used to has behavior he might seem friendly enough but there’s almost always alarms ringing in the heads of people around him. It’s probably that unhinged glint in his eye.

46. Do they make a good first impression? Does their first impression reflect them accurately? How do they introduce themselves?

PROBABLY NOT! Caddy his almost 0 sense of personal space and will often get a little to friendly a little too soon. He also has the horribly unnerving habit of prolonged eye contact.

47. How do they act in a formal occasion? What do they think of black tie wear? Do they enjoy fancy parties and love to chit chat or loathe the whole event?

I don’t think caddy has attended a formal event in his life. I think he’d actually be pretty comfortable in a suit and tie but he’s still Caddy so while would likely be appalled and a little concerned that he was even allowed inside. Which is half the fun really.

48. Do they enjoy any parties? If so what kind? Do they organize the party or just turn up? How do they act? What if they didn’t want to go but were dragged along by a friend?

Honestly Caddy probably doesn’t like parties very much unless he has a reason to be there. Crowded rooms filled with people not doing particularly anything but maybe drinking does not sound like a good time. Chances increase the Caddy gets into a fight for fun without Nikki or Chance there to keep him under control.

49. What is their most valued object? Are they sentimental? Is there something they have to take everywhere with them?

Nah. Caddy’s not a materials kind of guy and doesn’t tend to hold on to things. Nikki is the only reason they have ever had nice things.

50. If they could only take one bag of stuff somewhere with them: what would they pack? What do they consider their essentials?

Nikki…? Barring that. Spare clothes, a gun or two, grenades, wads of cash, meal bars and water. If he’s packing a bag to leave with his probably going on the run.

#50 fucking questions #Caddy Baptis #Anime Campaign #Fan shit #Worst thing I've ever made

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chichirod · 5 years

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Content. The addiction to the flow of the internet.

Sonny.

Maybe it’s a time travel piece. I love the idea of time travel. And done in a grounded way, What if the time travel was extremely mundane. Why sonny? Well he’s got this tone to his personality that feels like he’s being surprised by everything that happens.

What if he could time travel, but it only took him to one specific place.

Sonny and his dog. Maybe his dog is racist?

Sonny the karaoke man.

Sonny hits a car in a lot. He’s parks somewhere else. He thinks he’s off, but someone sees him. Stops him.

What are the ways that sonny could be confronted?

Sonny

Pulling wallet out to pay. The false gesture.

The tip. He writes a cheap tip, but he notices something wrong with the bill. He has to confront the waiter. The waiter confronts him. Waiter asks what percentage it is, he can’t do the math in his head.

He’s somewhere public. He’s watching an inappropriate vid. Gets called out.

Shits himself.

Self sacrifice.

Goes for a date with a girl. Girl says something a little racist.

He nicely ends the date. He tells his friends, but one of his friends tells.

Sonny he’s a man who wears his emotions. He’s consistently apologetic.

He’s a hopeful auditionee. He’s not bad actually. He sings karaoke. Records it. He’s nervous. But he makes an enemy. He ends up shitting himself mid audition.

Maybe the first scene is him hitting the car, getting caught. Getting caught by the lady and then leaving the note. Or Sony watching the game and someone fucking the moment he is waiting for. Sonny and the guys waiting for this moment. Maybe they’re auto shop guys.

We are in a ship cafeteria. A man lays dead on the floor. The checkout lady realizes asks who wants his food.

The set-up. The conflict. And Every choice creates consequences.

In the dentist chair.

Scene:

Sonny he’s with one of his friends outside a restaurant. They see a famous boxer passing by. Coop asks him politely for an autograph. The boxer is pissed. He’s sick of being stopped. Coop says, well you’re a celeb man, it comes with the territory. The boxer does’t like it. Coop says, c’mon man, I watched you at Caesers in 2014. He steps in and snaps a selfie, the boxer knocks him out. Sonny stands there. Boxer- I’m tired of being objectified. Coop comes to. Holy fuck. Are you ok? Ya. Dinner. They sit at the table. The dude has a huge welt. He’s ok, but he sits pretty silently. Sonny tries to keep his mind off of it. Makes small talk. Still, nothing from Coop. Then, he spits it out. Why the fuck didn’t you do anything? You just stood there. Boomgaurtner? What the hell was I supposed to do?

Woman talking about how brutal her period is right now. Eventually sonny and this woman hook up. She turns the lights off. … We cut to him having a pee, blood all over his face. OR Someone comes in?

These are the two stories. A satire. And. A docudrama.

One character. No lights. Small crew.

A gymnast. A hockey player.

INTRO

Sonny

Gymnast?

- open on videos of her as a kid jumping and enjoying the gym. Cut to today, in the bathroom. Nursing blisters and malformed toes.

- Eating toothpaste.

- The brutality of the bar.

- Mom locking the door to the fridge.

This is the story of a child gymnast. She’s is skilled, but she’s not naturally talented, but her coaches see a physical ability that they want to harness. They see the opportunity in her. A glory that they never had. They use her as an outlet. Pushing her is also a way for them to control something in their own lives. There is physical pain yes, but worse is the emotional warfare. The sacrifice that she must make while every other 12-year old goes to school, watches tv, plays on their phones. The final image?

Man and woman rent a cottage. A creepy neighbor, but oh well. They have a nice time. A new-sh couple. They have romantic time. They are making dinner. And they get into an argument over gender politics.The man is a better cook. Woman have lost their place in the kitchen because of a taboo. That night they go to be upset. The woman fingers herself quietly. The man realizes. He gets mad. He goes into the bathroom to JO. The creepy neighbor is seen coming towards their house. The two of them are scared. The woman wants to come into the bathroom, The man refuses. He argues. She should go downstairs if this relationship is equal.

- possible stories

- she kills her coach.

- she is paralyzed.

- amputates her chest.

A undocumented worker. Their parents dying. Working on a farm in California. Witness a crime. Wife kills abusive husband.

Guy parking at an office. He hits a car.

First scene should - eat the type of world we’re dealing with. A bite of satire.

What is the final image of the film.

The wrestler -

Find him at his glory, in the ring MSG.

Cut to the locker room. Present day. Creaky version of himself.

Fans visit him. Remember the good days.

He goes home. Door locked.

Sleeps in his van.

Next morning bang bang bang.

Woken up by kids. Wrestles with them.

Car pulls in, interrupts the moment. He watches the car.

Int office. Moments later, he tries to bargain with owner of trailer

Nothing.

Woman runs him extension chord for his blender.

Goes to work in supermarket

Asks for more shifts.

We see him working with the Mexican dudes. Lugging.

Int gym. He holds a glass vile. His buddy says its as good as the German stuff.

Plunges the needle into his naked ass.

Cut to mall. Greets a shopkeep friendly. He gets into a tanning bed.

Hair salon. Korean woman bleaches his hair.

Driving. Eyes. The strip club.

INt shitty wrestling match. A promoter lists the matchups.

They prep for the match. Going through moves with some young blood.

Ram - a chick is here to see you.

In the hall - hey kiddo. A young girl greets him.

She there to root on her old man? No. She’s there to make amends. 12-stepper.

Interrupted by two meatheads. He puts on his act for them. The girl is pissed at the interruption.

In the ring. Kid loco taunts him. Calling him a loser. Something turns and he takes the upper hand. Ram Jam

Int dressing room. Gets offered the 20th anniversary rematch with the ayatollah.

Stip club. Door man asks for hgh. Bartender slides him a beer. Cassidy is working vip. Girl same age as his daughter on the pole

Walks passed the VIP. Casidy is being berated for being old by frat boys.

Randy busts through. Makes them apologize. Expects a thank you. Cassidy is just pissed.

Cassidy warms to him. Lapdance. Ram’s explaining the 20th’ aniversary opportunity.

They chat. Ram bleeds. Cassidy helps him. Leads to him showing her his scars.

Cassidy quotes from passion of the christ. The sacrificial ram. Her song comes on and she’s pulled to stage.

99c store. Picking up weird supplies. Thumb tacks.

Cut to match .

Randy’s heart is giving way in the match. Has a heart attack. They pull him out of the ring.

Hospital - Bypass.

Dr says no more wrestling.

Gets trailer back.

Showers.

Plays vids with Adam.

Adam leaves. Ram does jumping jacks. He gets winded. He starts to cry.

Goes to Cheetahs for comfort. He asks her out. Something more real.

She meets him out back. Sympathy. But he’s overstepping.

Looks at old pic of Daughter. Goes to visit his daughter. She’s studying child development

SHe’s on her way to class. Tries to evade hum, but he charms her a bit.

He gives her a ride. Fesses to heart attack and she loses it. Now he wants to make good!? Now that he’s scared of dying?

Goes to fan expo. Learns from an old promoter that he’s been left out of a reunion.

He watches another old wrestler. In a wheelchair. Piss trickles into a catheter bag.

Back at trailer. Scared to go in alone. Drives to..

Cheetahs

Cassidy tries to get dances, no takers. SHe’s happy to see randy show up.

She asks about daughter. Randy doesn’t know much about what she likes. Cassidy suggests a second hand shop.

Randy goes to bar, cassidy a little rejected.

She comes to him, offers to go with him on Saturday to the shop.

Randy goes to work. Asks for something more permanent. Wayne offers deli counter.

Saturday, ram meets cased at the second hand shop. First time seeing cased clothed.

They find a shitty green jacket. Cassidy doesn’t like it, randy does, she plays nice.

They are about to part ways. Randy asks for a beer. Cassidy resists. She’s got a kid. 9years old. Ram gives her an old toy of him. Take care of that 300 bucks on eBay. Really? Nah. Cassidy obliges. One beer.

Talk about kid. Her hopes to move. Quitting cheetahs. Def leopard. Randy dances for her, They sing together. They bond over that pussy Cobain boo hoo Seattle. It’s the moment they need to meet. No contact with customers she says after they kiss. She’s gotta run.

Deli counter. Robin name tag.

Serving customers, he’s clueless. Bad exahcnage, bad exchange, then a nice one. 57… O-57 bingo. Whats my prize?

College. Ram meets his daughter. What are you stalking me? DO stalkers bring gifts?

They walk along a midway. The reminisce about when she was young.

They sit on a bench. Mint chip ice cream. He accepts her unspoken apology. Drops her off. Hope the wasn’t too painful.

Ram puts a photo of them on his fridge. On the phone. He tells a friend to count him out. He’s retiring.

Cheetah’s. Guys put dollar bills in Cassidy’s g-string. Randy tries to put a purse envelope in.

They sit. It’s a thank you card. Rand tries to ask her out to a cover band bar. It’s becoming too much for her. You think I’m a stripper.. but I’m a mom with respoonsibilities. You’re a customer.

Randy slides a 20 across the table. Cassidy slides it back. You’re refusing a customer? Argeument. Embarrasment. Randy storms out.

Shop-rite. Old lady pound of potato salad.

Guy recognizes him somehow. Teamsters? Softball? Ram Jam. Slicer fingers get closer.

Trailer. Drinking Touching scar. Turns on gun and roses. Dances around his room like it’s a ring.

Collectibles store. Scott Bromberg. Asks for referee opportunity. Booker D tries to work him into the gig. During the match randy steps in. Gets hit with a chair. They shower. Praise Randy as the master.

Hotel bar. Shit pit story.

Hotel bar. Hanging with girls. Coke dealer walks in. I don’t do that anymore. Me neither. Cut to them in the bathroom doing bumps.

Morning. Eyes open to find a poster of fireman.

Leaves the house. Gets home opens the fridge. Dismay. Picture of him and daughter on fridge.

Bang bang bang on her door.

Daughter pissed. She waited in the restaurant for 2 hours.

She hates him. Throws a pot. He grabs her. I’m sorry. You don’t mean it. You’re right. She calms. She’s totally done Wirth him.

He leaves. Starts to cry.

Shop Rite - line at the deli counter. “You believe these fucking morons?”

Slice slice. More pressure. Customers complaining. Slice slice. Jams his thumb into the slicer. Blood everywhere. Smears blood across his mouth. He smashes into the shelves dodging a woman.

At home. Calls the promoter. He wants in. Shaves. Tan in a can. Peroxide in the hair.

Cassidy shows up. How’d you find me? Big Chris.

Cassidy explains she’s trying to get to a place in her life and she can’t bring anyone from… good for you. Quitting is hard.

He hands he the flyer. Drives off.

Cassidy’s apt. Tells the sitter. In bed by 11, no bargaining. Her son plays with the ram doll.

Cheetah’s - cased dances.

She leaves the stage.

Randy at roadside payphone. Gets Stephanie’s answering machine. Tells he loves her and that he’s going back in the ring.

Randy naps on side of road.

Gets to auditorium. Man on the phone. Man business is rocking Just opened a third dealership. Randy looks on. This is the ayatollah

They chat. Did thnink it was on. Then I get a call , its on.

Randy wants to go over the moves. Ayatollah wants to wing it.

Cassidy at gas station. Asks for directions.

Int locker room. Ram taping up.

Cassidy pulls up. Looking for locker room

Randy now suited.

Ayatollah music begins to play. Announcement.

Randy turns to find Cassidy there. She tries to get him to bail. He’s still going through with it.

Randy- this is where I belong. Listen to them.

Randy enters the ring. Ramming chairs.

He grabs the mic.

I just got one thing to say to you people. Thank you. I started in 1982. I was 6 foot 1 3 back surgeries… End of the speach. The crowd roars. Ayatollah is about to smash him.

Randy is a little intense for the ayatollah. They trade revenge moves each more real than the last.

Their in the ring out of the ring. Chocking with flags and poles.

Ayatollah - You wanna bring it home?

Cassidy pleads with ringside.

His heart is giving. Pounding. Irregular. Hard. Ram is about to finish him. Ayatollah says just pin him.

Cassidy leaves the match sobbing.

Horns are out.

He leaps . Glorious and immortal.

Some things last a long time.

I’ll eat your sandwich if you’re not eating it.

You’re got me going. You really got me going.

I can’t believe you got th t sian out.

It looks great on you.

I like this shirt.

Do you have any salt?

Walks into coffee shop. Puts hands on the glass. He moves like an animal something he’s stalking.

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