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mneiai · 4 years

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Hello! I love your writing so much and I would really like to see how you’d do a soulmate au where all mandalorians can tell (somehow lol) who their mandalor’s soulmate is... jangobi obviously!

So, this reminded me a lot of Fate Comes Early, and originally I was thinking of maybe just linking that, but then I was dwelling on it and thought how I could make it a very different take lol

This one kinda got away from me! I’ll probably post it as a one-shot on AO3.

I’m still accepting prompts in my ask box!

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The moment they set foot in Mandalorian space, their whole mission went from not too unusual to completely kriffed up.

Maybe, Obi-Wan considered, before that even. Because the closer they got to the sector, the more Mandalorians they passed at refueling stations and there was something like a low buzz of danger in the Force.

Or maybe it was anticipation.

Regardless, he really wished Qui-Gon had listened to Obi-Wan instead of doubling down on his Living Force prejudices and insisting they had to live in the present. It would have saved them a lot of problems.

Because as soon as they were off their ship, they were surrounded, separated. There was no way to combat it without violence, which was not an option while they were on a diplomatic mission and there were government representatives in the crowd.

Obi-Wan was taken into what he assumed was the palace. Mandalorians, most but not all in their signature armor surrounding him until they reached a small building within the building. It was set in the middle of a courtyard, surrounded by what he guessed were native plants from the sector.

It was huge, lavish, and extremely well-secured. He could see guards at every point he'd think of for escape, even spotting a few on the nearby rooftops with the telltale bulk of a jetpack on their figures. He wouldn't have minded so much, if any of them had been talkative.

The building was the nicest prison he'd ever seen and apparently was just for him.

***

He spent a whole day mostly in one of the sitting rooms, refusing to take the comforts offered by the large bedroom he'd been shown, picking at the (admittedly, very good) food the guards brought him. Every so often he walked through the rooms, trying to act as though he were simply taking them in instead of looking for a way to break out.

Eventually, someone came to meet with him. A humanoid woman in armor who the guards in armor were respectful of and the guards without seemed to dislike. She treated him with surprising deference from the start, as one might a head of state and not a Jedi Padawan.

It was all making him very nervous, remembering a mission where a sentient sacrifice had been made temporary king before being thrown into a lava pit.

"Olarom, Ka'rata. I am your tengaa'cabur, your guide.."

Obi-Wan hesitated, then replied, "Olarom," back, remembering it as one of the polite standard greetings from the mission information packet he'd read on the way.

The Mandalorian smiled at him and it looked sincere enough, though she was surprisingly hard to read in the Force. "Your presence at this time shows the crossroads our people have arrived at. There is much to prepare, Satine Kryze was nearby for the," her face twisted in distaste, "election," before she managed to smooth it out again, "but the others are farther away."

"...Others?"

"The other candidates for Mand'alor. Once they are assembled, we will being the Ka'ra'ur'cire."

"That's...like an election?" he asked, hopefully, even though the word didn't seem at all familiar.

She laughed, though he got the impression she might have been rolling her eyes if she had less control. "In Basic, perhaps that is a close enough translation."

He'd been here to oversee the election, so at least it seemed like some part of his role would be fulfilled. He could only hope his Master was with Kryze.

"And why am I...separated? Why isn't my Master, Qui-Gon Jinn, here?"

Something twisted on her face, the same way it had when she'd first spoken of the election and Satine. "You are Ka'rata, it would be...improper. If you desire, after the Ka'ra'ur'cire you may be allowed other guests."

"You said that the Ka'ra'ur'cire," he thought he did a fairly good job at pronouncing it, the language coming surprisingly easy to his tongue, "would start once all the candidates are here? How long will that be?"

"Tor Vizsla will be here within the next few days. Jango Fett we hope within a week of that. The announcement has been made. You will meet all on even ground."

Neither of those men had been candidates of the election Obi-Wan had come to Mandalore for. Fett hadn't even been seen, as far as he knew, since the tragedy of Galidraan and Vizsla was considered a terrorist by most.

"And what does the Ka'ra'ur'cire entail?"

The guide stared at him for a moment, as though weighing what she'd say (or, perhaps, what he'd understand). "The Ka'ra will guide you. The one who will be Mand'alor will be revealed."

He didn't get much more out of her, after that.

***

The days after that continued with vague information, very good (if spicy) meals, and the introduction of coursework on Mando'a.

None of the language materials he was given included any of the odd terms that were used. He knew he was being called "Ka'rata" and it was honestly very rude of them not to clarify that point.

From the other information he was given, and what he'd already known for the mission, he was able to piece together that Mandalorians didn't have elections like most Republic states, that there were three main political factions each represented by one of the potential Mand'alors, and that the people guarding him and speaking to him had taken vows of neutrality and therefore would not--could not--support anyone over another until after they were declared.

He, too, was expected to have some sort of neutrality, at least to start off. And then...apparently he'd be the one doing the choosing.

That was a daunting task, especially without his Master's help, moreso because Obi-Wan was having trouble accessing the Force. He didn't know if it was nerves, or perhaps some sort of barrier around the building he hadn't noticed, but even in deep meditation he was finding it difficult.

He could still feel Qui-Gon, at least, though their bond felt muffled and indistinctive. It was enough to know that he was alive and he didn't feel as though he was in pain, just horribly annoyed. Wherever he was, maybe he was getting the same runaround that Obi-Wan was getting.

***

His guide from the first day came back, eventually. "The candidates are assembled," was the first thing she said after her formal greeting and he breathed a sigh of relief. "The Ka'ra'ur'cire will begin tomorrow."

"Does that mean I finally get to find out what it is?" His tone was maybe more petulant than he wanted it to be, but between the isolation and his growing disconnect from the Force, controlling his emotions was becoming harder.

She studied him, then nodded. "Yes. Your to'hodar to the epara'kyorar has faded, the Ka'ra will protect you."

Obi-Wan frowned. Ka'ra had been mentioned before, he knew that meant stars, but as some sort of divinity. The other two seemed to be combinations of words, none of which had good connotations.

"Right, would you mind explaining that as well as the other parts?"

The guide regarded him for a moment, then nodded again. "Elek, Ka'rata, I will explain all that I can."

But, of course, she didn't start explaining. Instead she guided him through the building to a dining room that he had seen in passing. There were other Mandalorians there, mostly older ones, though a few didn't have their helmets off to judge.

"The Ka'rata's blessed presence is known again in Mandalore," his guide stated and Obi-Wan suppressed a shudder as the others either bowed or saluted him. "He is prepared in spirit, but must be prepared in mind. It is our duty to do so."

Obi-Wan was directed to sit in one of the two chairs at the head of the table, the other remaining empty. Just like with his guide before, no one bothered introducing themselves, but he'd worked out that the ones in armor were Death Watch and the True Mandalorians (and could tell from the crests basically which ones) and that the ones who were not were most likely New Mandalorians. There seemed to be an even mix, four of each, plus his guide.

Food was placed in front of everyone who didn't have a helmet on and Obi-Wan reluctantly started to eat when others did, despite his need for answers. There was some sort of ritual at play, he knew from experience and learning, and interrupting it would probably do him no favors.

When the meal was over, his guide finally turned to him. "We will tell you now of what you are, and what it means, and what will come."

He sat up a little straighter. "Thank you."

"The Ka'rata is the heart and soul of the Mando'ade, chosen by the Ka'ra. In terms the aruetiise might use, the soulmate of the Mand'alor."

Obi-Wan wished he hadn't eaten, because he was starting to feel sick. He'd heard of soulmates, everyone had--a leftover of the Taung found almost solely in Mandalorians, a bond of the spirit that connected two people. He had a very brief education on them, in a single lecture that had discussed their simularities to naturally occurring Force bonds, and nearly everything else he knew came from the awful holonovellas that Vos sometimes watched.

"You think I'm the Mand'alor's soulmate?"

"We know it," one of the Death Watch members stated with conviction that, if Obi-Wan could just feel the Force, he knew somehow would ring true.

"We could feel it, the moment you neared us," his guide continued. "Once you nau'ur to'manda, you shall feel it, too."

He worked through those words, fairly sure it meant to forge the soulbond the stories spoke of, and frowned. "But you said I'm the Mand'alor's soulmate? So...who is the Mand'alor?"

"There are three potential Mand'alor's," the others shifted, clearly disliking comparing their own leaders, "and each must be given a chance to of nau'ur." Someone cleared their throats and she rolled her eyes. "And, arguably, their heirs."

"So if a Mand'alor dies...."

"There is always a Mand'alor. The individual might die, but someone always fills the role."

"You're saying that I just...get passed along like some heirloom?"

"You are Ka'rata, this is no insult meant to you. Once you open yourself to the Ka'ra and your to'manda, you'll understand, you'll want this."

Somehow this was worse than being sacrificed to a lava pit.

"I can't, though. I'm a Jedi, this...sounds like a very big attachment, which is forbidden by our Code."

Not only did many of them look uncomfortable at the reminder of what he was, he was fairly sure a few made a finger sign to ward off evil. Which...seemed excessive, though after Galidraan he supposed he couldn't blame them.

"The Ka'ra has freed you from the epara'kyorar. It can no longer smother you."

His breath caught. "Epara'kyorar...that's...that's what you call the Force?" He sounded small, weak, even to his own ears.

"It will not devour you any longer, Ka'rata, you are nearly free."

Obi-Wan reached desperately for the Force, but it was true, he could barely feel it at all. His bond with Qui-Gon might as well not even exist, not just as though it had been broken, but as though it had never been there at all.

He stood, chair falling behind him from the force of the movement. "I...no. I'm a Jedi, I need the Force."

"The epara'kyorare was blocking your sense of self," his guide insisted. "Your ability to use it was a trick to help you perpetuate it. Torre Vizsla learnt of this, warned us of it, what had long been suspected."

"How are you blocking me from the Force? How do I reverse it?" he demanded.

Looking around, he realized how foolish it must seem to them, a teenage boy without weapons or armor in a room full of Mandalorians, making demands. But the looks on their faces were not mocking, but more pitying. That grated.

"You can't just kidnap someone, take away one of their senses, and expect them to cooperate with you!"

"There is no kidnapping the Ka'rata. You are in our sector, under our laws you are ours."

"Your property?" he sneered, though cold sweat broke out across his body at the remembered weight of a collar around his neck.

One of the New Mandalorians, perhaps the least threatening looking person in the room, stood and approached him. "You are sacred. Once the Mand'alor has been decided on, only they can restrict you."

He looked in the man's eyes and saw what wasn't being said--the New Mandalorians were the least traditional, Satine Kryze would be less inclined to follow whatever tenants insisted that Obi-Wan was kept locked up in a separate building, guarded, unable to see any non-Mandalorians. Maybe she'd even let him go back to the Jedi, once she was confirmed Mand'alor.

Obi-Wan looked around the room, noticed eyes narrowed at the man, but no one discounted what he said. "Fine," he muttered, crossing his arms. "Fine. How do I decide which one is Mand'alor, then?"

***

It couldn't ever just be a simple "point at someone and say they're Mand'alor," but "spend a week learning how they feel to you" was aggravating. If he'd had the Force, Obi-Wan might have been able to tell right away, with a few questions, who would be a better leader.

Or he would have just chosen Satine, as he desperately wanted to, especially as the time they spent together within the building he was housed in or out in the gardens around it made it clear she disdained this tradition as much as he did. She was going along with it to hopefully gain more support and wasn't actually going to do anything more than that. She respected the Republic, the Jedi, him.

He really, really liked Satine.

Vizsla was...well, he wasn't sure what to expect, the file on him and his activities painted him as a terrorist for good reasons. But he was a traditionalist to the core and he had utter respect for the tradition of the Ka'ra'ur'cire.

Though, he did seem to be holding back parts of himself to interact with Obi-Wan. Despite surely thinking being soulmates would be an automatic thing, he was almost wooing him.

The last of the three he met was Fett. Who...seemed almost as out of sorts as Obi-Wan. He was abrasive, condescending, didn't have much time for Obi-Wan's lack of knowledge around the Ka'ra'ur'cire or any Mandalorian culture, and at first Obi-Wan took offense to that.

Until he realized this might be the first time Fett had seen a Jedi since Galidraan.

And then he looked beyond the surface of their interactions--Fett was shaken, broken, he felt like a failure and knew he didn't deserve to be Mand'alor.

Obi-Wan took two days of the meetings to realize he was understanding Fett a little too well. Another day to accept that Fett himself seemed to have quickly moved on from his hatred of all things Jedi to watching Obi-Wan like he couldn't believe he existed.

The guide had said that their stars would tell Obi-Wan who his soulmate was and horribly, Obi-Wan was realizing that maybe that was right. He, intellectually, wanted it to be Satine.

But his heart, or maybe it was his soul (or maybe it was the Ka'ra), was crying out for Jango.

"Oh," he breathed out during one of their meetings, watching Jango studying a battleplan in front of them, after he'd taken a piece of Obi-Wan's advice (hard-earned on Melida/Daan) without any protest or condescension.

Jango looked up at him, his face blank except for that little area of tenseness between his eyebrows Obi-Wan had already memorized. "Something else I'm missing?"

Obi-Wan shook his head, eyes even wider, and left the room.

***

When he went to his guide, she was as gentle as a Mandalorian could be as she talked him through how to finish the Ka'ra'ur'cire.

The next day, after fruitless meetings with Satine and Tor, he was glad to see Jango. His soft smile must have said more than he thought, because Jango--who must have felt it this entire time but had patiently waited on him--didn't stalk into the room to his usual seat. He walked right up to Obi-Wan, cupping his cheek gently in a calloused hand.

Obi-Wan, at a loss for words, managed what he thought was a steady and suggestive, "Hello, there," before Jango's lips crashed into his own.

And a million stars lit up inside of him.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Mando'a: Olarom - Welcome/greetings Ka'rata - from ka'ra (stars/fate) and kar'ta (heart), word for Mand'alor's soulmate Mand'alor - sole ruler, basically the dictator of Mandalore Ka'ra'ur'cire - from ka'ra (stars) and urcir (meet) aruetiise - foreigners/outsiders to'hodar - from to (join) and hodar (deceive), ie a false bond epara'kyorare - from eparavur (to feast, devour) and kyorar (rot) Elek - yes Mando'ade - Mandalorian People to'manda- from to (join) and Manda (soul), ie a soulbound nau'ur - light up, illuminate (is also used in context of forging weapons, nau'ur kad, forge or light up a sword)

#jangobi #obi wan kenobi #jango fett #mandalorians #star wars fic #soulmate au #my stuff #ask answers #Anonymous

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fatphobiabusters · 7 years

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Hi! First of all, I’d like to apologize for the random, empty account… I haven’t been on in forever and can’t for the life of me remember my login info. Oops. This is also going to be kind of long, sorry!

I need some advice about a friend who has recently gained a lot of weight. Before you cringe, let me assure you: I’m not looking for advice on how to get her to lose weight or anything like that. I loved and supported fiercely her when she was thin, and that’s equally true now that she’s fat. Anyway, my friend, (let’s call her Anna) has gained maybe 50 or so pounds over the past 6ish months. I won’t speculate as to why or how, and I honestly don’t really know. It doesn’t matter. I’m proud to say that while our group ranges from thin to “average”, we all try extremely hard to be body- and fat-positive. We’ve made a massive effort to eliminate fat shaming, negative body talk, assigning “guilt” or other traits to food, etc. We’re certainly not perfect, but what I’m trying to get at is that none of us think negatively of Anna for gaining weight and we want to make her feel as safe and supported as possible.

This is the first time in her life that Anna has been fat. She comes from a thin family, and as I said, our friend group is pretty much just varying degrees of thin. No matter how fat-positive we try to be, I get that she’s probably feeling a lot of conflicting emotions and that it has to be extremely hard to go from being conventionally attractive to not. We’ve all been trying to treat her normally, but it seems like everything we do is wrong. For example, we used to all go to a spin class followed by brunch every Sunday morning. It was something we really enjoyed.

Now whenever we invite her, she says it makes her feel like we’re pressuring her to lose weight. If we invite her to a meal, she says she’s worried that we’ll start judging her for whatever she eats. If we don’t invite her, she says we’re embarrassed by her and don’t want to be friends with her because she’s fat. She doesn’t want to go shopping for obvious and understandable reasons. We’ve had some low-key nights in at someone’s house, but we’ve always been more inclined to go out and explore the city, try new restaurants, etc. Anna included. She’s lost all interest in that. Based on my own experiences with depression, I think she’s likely depressed. We’re kind of at a loss. Every invitation is interpreted as a judgment, but if we do something without her, we’re shunning her. We’re trying to have more movie nights since she seems to like those, but the rest of us have things we want to do out of the house together and while we would like Anna to be with us, we can’t collectively put our lives on hold to walk on eggshells around her. We certainly try not to flaunt group outings that she isn’t a part of, but we’re not going to lie and say they didn’t happen, either.

We’ve tried to gently encourage her to maybe talk to someone about what she’s going through. Most of us have been through therapy at some point, so we’ve tried opening up about our experiences and how they’ve helped. We also complied a list of fat-friendly practitioners in our area (we used different language, as we had a hunch “fat-friendly” wouldn’t go over well) but she said that she’s fine and that we’re, again, judging her. I want to take her word for it, but she’s seemingly lost interest in everything and has withdrawn from everyone she used to be close to. I’m worried.

Things got a lot worse a few weeks ago. I’m getting married in a few weeks and she is, of course, one of my bridesmaids. We all picked out the bridesmaids dresses together back before she gained weight, and while I was down for everyone to pick different styles, the entire bridal party ended up loving the same one and unanimously chose it. Awesome. Unfortunately, the dress she picked and was measured for no longer fits and the brand does not go up to her new size. Which is terrible in its own right, but we can’t go back in time and pick a more inclusive designer. She was really embarrassed at the fitting, understandably, because no matter how body positive you and your homies are, that’s an awkward situation. I told her I didn’t care at all if she wanted to find a different dress to wear, but she said she doesn’t want to stand out as the “fatty” (her words) who couldn’t fit into the same dress. Understandable. She says the only way she’ll be comfortable is if we all get new dresses. While I really want to be down with that, and I am in theory, there are a couple issues. Between the dresses themselves and the alterations, all of the bridal party has sunk a good amount of money into these dresses and none of us can really afford to just eat the cost. Especially because everyone would also have to buy a new dress. It’s too late for us to get refunds. Anna offered some choices that could fit everyone, but they’re all way out of our budgets at this point and probably not available on short notice. Anna is now very committed to all the bridesmaids matching so that she doesn’t stand out. We could try to find things off the rack, but there’s no guarantee we’ll find something that works for everyone and I’m really not comfortable asking my grad student friends to sink even more cash into my wedding.

I really don’t know what the solution is. Everything that Anna feels would make her feel comfortable is too pricey, but I also want her to feel loved and supported. I very much want her in my wedding party, but not if it’s going to be bad for her mental health. If we had more cash or time or both, every single person would gladly shell out for a new dress, but that’s not our reality. We’re doing our best to find something inexpensive, but as you are aware, it’s not exactly easy to find affordable clothes in a wide range of sizes. Anna’s called me several times crying, saying that everyone hates her for this, and that couldn’t be farther from the truth. We love her, we want her to be happy, but we don’t know how to help. At one of our movie nights she drunkenly confessed that she’s started self-harming again, and I’m honestly just really worried about where she is emotionally.

So… help. I know I probably sound narcissistic as all hell going on about my wedding party, but I feel like all of this has really brought her insecurities and anxieties to a head. I don’t know what to do. Do you guys have any advice? What can my friends and I do to help Anna get to a better place? What can we do to make her feel more supported? And finally, do you have any advice on finding a solution to the dress issue?

Sorry for how long this was and for all the venting. I hope it doesn’t come across as me just dumping on Anna - I can’t stress enough that I don’t blame her for any of her feelings or how she’s dealing with them. I just want to help. :( She is a beautiful, intelligent, kind, and funny person who deserves to wake up every day knowing that. If I could put my life on hold until she’s in a better place, I would in a heartbeat. But I can’t, so I want to be for her however I can, whether that means finding new ways to be her friend or giving her space. Any advice you have is really appreciated.

This is hella real. I’m proud of you for being upfront about the situation. You’re not entirely blaming the situation on Anna and also you’re admitting you’re not perfect. You’re aware of the reality of the situation in spite of everyone’s expectations [ including your friend ] , and you’re trying to work on middle ground so everyone can feel welcomed. This is what we go for here at fatphobiabusters. But its harder when it comes to fighting inner demons. Its no secret that we can be our own worst critics, and as much as you try to be supportive of your friend here, Anna’s got her own battle to fight. This is a classic textbook case of internalized fatphobia , where she has such a hard hate for fat that she hates herself because of it. This isnt new; we fight people all the time for their internalized fatphobia [ or at the very least make themselves aware of it ] and while its heart wrenching to see charming, bright and worthy people beat themselves up for something so harmless as fat, there’s nothing really that can be done. Its their choice and battle to work on finding ways to build their self-esteem. You and your friends are perfect proof of how we’d like to see fat people be treated–no different. You include her to all your activities and still want her to be a part of your life. You even realized that the situation of her depression might be a little out of your range of support and offered her some better help in the form of counselling. It was Anna that went against it as well as the offer to find a dress specifically for her. Anna hating her body for the weight gain and refusing to continue on with life is a classic example of internalized fatphobia. I cannot say that I know what she’s been through because i’ve been fat all my life, so I never had the experience of a sudden change of weight, but I’m sure any drastic change to someone who isnt ready for it can be hard. You and your friends have handled this new situation really well. But it sounds to me that Anna is the one thats really having trouble accepting her body for how it is right now. She’s is allowing her demon’s expectations of how a body should look stop her from enjoying life and being happy. ‘Cause its not the fat. Fat people still live happy and fulfilling lives. That fat isnt grabbing her and forcing her to stop living life. It’s her. Now, as far as advice, it sounds to me like you did the right thing. You let her know that she’s still welcomed into the wedding and you can help her find a dress that is simular [ perhaps in color ] and in her size or maybe one that will make her new body type dazzle. Or, at the very least you can even suggest about finding matching acessories [cute matching earrings or same colored shoes! ] to still support her. But, just because she’s feeling self-coucious about her newly added weight shouldnt put the breaks on your special day. I really admire that you’re trying to accomodate Anna as well, but you’ve done a lot of support and help already, and it sounds to me she’s doing very little to help herself. It does take a lot of time to coordinate a wedding …and while it sucks that something happened beyond control, there shouldn’t be a complete stop and change because one person is feeling uncomfortable. This is a good time for boundaries… and of course it can be done with love, compassion and compromise. She may be upset with that answer. She may be mad and hurt. It might be an interesting talk. But, the way I feel , if you keep reminding her that you’re still her friend and you don’t see her differently because of the change and weight, then that’s all you can do. Because, when all of this is said and done, we are not in control of other people’s emotions. They are in control of taking care of themselves, whatever that self care looks like , as well as what coping mechanisms they decide to use. This could also be a good time to suggest to her about finding that peace with her body. Perhaps show her this blog or others and help her come to terms that its okay to be fat! I apologize if the answer is long winded [ you gave me a lot to work with! ] but I hope this helps. Keep on being awesome and congrats on the wedding! - Mod Dom

#Submission #domino speaks #internalized fatphobia #submission #gif warning

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