#(little less than a week actually)

[stuckinapril]

I’m finally biting the bullet and contacting a therapist today after being ambivalent ab it for so long… this hellsite has its many disadvantages but one thing I can say is it has truly helped me be less scared of pursuing therapy. Silver lining etc etc

#And to be clear I have nothing against therapy. I’ve seen it do wonders for other people #I think the reason it’s a point of defeat (just a little) for me to be like ok. I need a therapist. Is bc I’m admitting to myself that I #need one to begin w. And I get it’s not healthy but I always liked to think I could handle anything by myself #That was even the whole point of this blog. It was supposed to serve as a conduit for these feelings #And I’m not saying I don’t have a support system. I do. I have many wonderful friends #But I struggle to be vulnerable at all tbh and whenever I am I’m guilty ab it bc #I understand so many people have busy lives & I feel like an emotional burden on them by venting #Despite them telling me that it’s totally fine. Obvi a therapist is literally paid to listen so no guilt there #And I think that’s what I need #I’m not like on the brink of a psychotic break or anything but it’s just little things. I think it’d be nice to sit in someone’s office for #One hour a week and just go. That did bother me actually. I am tired actually. I do feel that way actually. #Rather than just burying my feelings w school and a busy schedule #I don’t think therapy will make me any less of a workaholic anytime soon but it’ll at least allow me to slow down one hour a week #And also not bottle shit up so fuckin much #But ya all of this is to say I’m drafting the email to her RIGHT now . #Starting the day off strong by oversharing on tumblr dot com

[yogurtea]

Ice cream on the way back from school :)

#au where shin eats things other than warm soup #i joke but this actually does take place in my silly little AU! #as do most of my other scenes of the cast just hangin out! #so send an ask if you wanna hear more about that ig. or don't it's whatever #yttd #your turn to die #kimi ga shine #kanna kizuchi #kugie kizuchi #shin tsukimi #this is the second to last piece in my backlog!! the next one i'll probably post in a week or so. maybe less #it's a silly one :3 i think you guys will like it #my art #yogurt's yttd au

[puppyeared]

fuck it. plaguesona

#i thought of this a couple weeks ago on the bus a couple seats away from someone loudly coughing into the open air #i think something snapped and i decided to make a fuckin. medieval ass plague sona. horseman of pestilence fursona #this is also why i was asking abt animals with medical symbolism.. originally i wanted a two headed snake like the staff of caduceus #but it turns out thats actually hermes symbol. the real symbol for medicine is the rod of asclepius which looks pretty similar #the difference is that theres only one snake and its twined around a stick. ironically mercy from overwatch's weapons are named after #the caduceus despite the misconception LMAOOO #snakes were the most consistent medicine related animal i could find even across multiple cultures so it couldve really worked #if i could actually draw scalies.. one of my earliest sketches had a cobra with a syringe at the end of its tail like a rattlesnake #and it had markings similar to the syringe tube but i didnt have much else going on so i scrapped it #i was also recommended animals with less obvious ties to medicine like jellyfish and horseshoe crabs and learned something new ^_^ #im not confident i could pull off a non-mammal furry but they were really good ideas i might put into smth else.. i also thought of #axolotls bc of their regenerative thing and growing back limbs but i think that would suit smth like a surgeon or amputation... #possums and bats were also an option bc theyre actually really resistant to most diseases like rabies but i feel like ppl wouldnt know that #if they saw it so it looks a little ironic at a glance. rabbits rats and mice were my second option bc of animal testing and lab rats #less obvious reference but the moon rabbit in chinese mythology is loosely connected to medicine bc it makes the elixir of life #otherwise lab mice in a pharmacy / modern medicine setting seemed fitting and jerboa tails remind me of cotton buds #and. ironically. jerboas are more closely related to elephants than rats and mice. can you believe it #my art #myart #my oc #sona #plaguesona #cottonbud #fur #furry art #character design #ref sheet #oc ref sheet

[averlym]

,,, sun-dappled sheets...

#the sapphics got to me okay. portrix real #it's so cute how they go from falling asleep tgt at the presses to having a room to share #adamandi #portia elizabeth harper #beatrix valeria campbell #it was a doodle and then i was like i want to make it softer so i painted it over and in the process rendered it somewhat #it's still quite sketchy akdhfj but u get the vibes!! ++ tried out using a Lot more noise than usual #so that's like the New Art Takeaway from doing this. #;;; i feel like every time i draw wlw fluff it's stepping back deep into my comfort zone haha but yes. soft cosy comfy etc. #my brain was not processing enough to figure out casual wear so this is kind of just the stripped down costumes akdhdjdh but yeah #bonus side note here is i was like hehe wouldn't it be fun if beatrix hand + portia ribbon. as like a nod to contrast how #previously it was strings on their hands instead. and now she cut them off bc portia and also smth smth about the difference #between tying (the strings) and choosing to hold (ribbon) and sjdhdhfhfh ue. #*incoherent noises* it's about the softness. the touching. the idea of choice- but less afraid of losing it- smth smth inherent trust also. #knowing tomorrow you'll still be there.. #<- sorry there's a silly little conceptual thing in every adamandi thing i make i think #i would love to say this was For Adamandi Week but i do very badly with timed events so the truth is just. i woke up and saw #@/regret-repentir 's post (which is so so lovely actually) (credit where credit is due) and then spent the next 1.5h drawing portrix #the prompt was post graduation i think? but seeing as i didn't really respond to the prompt itself #it doesn't rly count in my head as a prompt response for the event. idk #it technically works. but also it feels like false advertising... #<blinks> fun times include this being the first time i've drawn adamandi characters entirely without reference. they have been blorbo-ified

[5hrignold]

I LOVE HIM

#heeeheehoo…. uh anyway crazy how they dropped a quarter of the episode ! i have 2 things to say #the fact that allan actually gets the paperclips within the first like 2 minutes is exciting bc its like #what could possibly happen next to get him in the mess that we saw him in in the trailer #and if that really is dj spit in the helicopter clip then im assuming he finds him in crimeville which #btw i love that name . to name a part of town that is so dumb i love it #i can soo tell this is going to be such a good episode i just know it #and well i will miss those two for the whole week . and i wonder if they and/or glep appear at the ending scene #well i mean like. obviously. personally i Love the little formula of the main 5 ALWAYS being back all together at the end of every ep #no matter what happens #well. ok not every ep. like less than half actually. but ya know i just love it when it happens #smiling friends spoilers #f #i rlly do wonder if anything will be able to beat shrimp as my number 1 favourite side character … we’ll see

[snommie]

Anybody else here using sheezy art (newly updating website meant to replicate old dA style)... I'd love to follow/friend/watch/whatever it's called you❤️.

#text #If you aren't using it but want to — its so small rn they only let 10 ppl register a day. I tried to get in for a little less than a week #before givin up and payin the 3 dollar perma-membership fee to make my account so my username wouldn't be taken or anything LOL #(actually my gf bought it for me. hi alex) #But @Mutuals if you struggle to get in just dm me I can cover u #Also I'm snommie on sheezy. 👋 #I post more 'this looks nice' art there. My tumblr art is more like commission examples #And my profile is very WIP...don't judge..

[password-door-lock]

Glow-in-the-Dark Chapter 6

Unknown x reader; fantasy AU; fluff and angst Rating: Mature

“I don't—” You have no idea about how Unknown procured the purse of coins, but you can guess. “I'm sure he didn't steal it. He must just have conjured it. I mean, that’s how he gets everything, so—”

The healer laughs, cutting off your frantic rambling. This, you decide, is probably for the best. “Conjured? And what do you think that word even means? He's been lying to you, kid. Nobody can conjure money out of thin air. That isn’t how this works. If he used magic to get his hands on this, then he stole it. That goes for those shiny shoes of yours, too. I don’t know where he got them from, but they already existed in the world before he took them. You’ve been running with a thief.” 

Or:

You meet with a magic healer.

Read it on Ao3!

#the chapter this week is a little bit shorter because I had to break the original chapter 6 in half #But there was no good halfway point so I actually broke it into a little less than half #Still I'm proud of myself for updating weekly #Unknown is barely in this chapter though :( #mystic messenger #mystic messenger fic #fanfiction

[icewindandboringhorror]

sneepy cozy....

#cats #(medical stuff mention for tags) #poasting confortable image of boye for peace and serenity and such forthe #I have little weird episodes sometimes where I get shaky (but like violently like 'would spill a drink if you were holding it beacuse #your hands are moving so much' type shaky) and weird and sick feeling but usually it passes in an hour or less. but last night I just #literally couldnt sleep I was shaking so much and my heartrate was up a ton and wouldn't go down even after like 6 hours plus super nausea #so I went to the hospital and now shall wear a heart monitor for a week. which hopefully it's just some weird drastic low blood sugar #event or something and there's nothing actually going on. ekg + ct scan for blod clots + virus panel + almost all of the blood work seems #normal so... aa....... #Though me being so privacy focused hrggh... I basically have a constantly bluetooth connected device around me #since the monitor comes with a cell phone that is constantly transmitting data to the place. which they said they'll call you #if they see anything weird which is also scary. random phone calls... but definitely better than letting an issue go unadressed lol #the phone is also not meant to be more than 10 feet away from the monitor at any time so I put on this old tactical fishing #vest thing thats like navy green with 100 pockets and im just using one of the giant pocketson the side as a phone holder #my enormous silly vest just to keep one little phone #ANYWAY... because I got up early the morning before and didn't sleep at all and spent nearly all day in waiting rooms and such #I have been awake for like 32 hours striaght. which I'm sure also does not help with an elevated heartrate lol #feeling shrimp emotions or whatever people talk about unlocking at a certain level of stress and sleep deprivation #and also no food or water. after a while they brought me like 3 saltines and some ice water but I basically also haven't eaten since 3am #last night and it's 2pm now.. #thus............ bapy............. baby boye....... he will help ease all ailments with his baby powers... #And no I dont drink energy drinks or anything with caffiene really I'm afraid of all substances on the planet essentially #My body just likes to become shaky and weird randomly even when I'm not conciously anxious about anything/have had no caffiene/etc #and I guess I'm always more nervous about getting anything heart related checked out because of my arm/shoulder/chest area injury stuff #... i literally have constant chest pain all the time. it moves around but i nearly always have some sort of pain or pressure in my chest #so when people are like 'oh well a little weird heartrate is fine but watch out if you have pain!' it's like... i always do lol.. how am I #supposed to tell the Bad Pain apart from the Always Pain when the descriptions of Bad Pain are very very similar #AAAANYway.... hrghh... i wanted to be very productive and finally post drafts and wrok on things today. but alas.. #I can at least post small image of soft boye.. though he recently got into stuff in the bathroom whilst left #alone and knocked things into the toilet.. So perhaps not an innocent and NICE boy.. but still.. a soft one .. beautfile....

[adanseydivorce]

I need an audiobook to listen to … maybe I’ll start the Scorpio races …

#s speaks #Mr Ripley is going on the back burner till I read my library books since I’m leaving in a week… I think it will make a good vacation book #actually. I’m like a little less than halfway through before I fall so I’ll def finish it in the next few days. So hopefully in the middle #I have enough time to read first Dublin murder squad book. But I think I need to listen to something and I’m out of podcasts …

[spaghett-onaplate]

it's literally not a good idea in any way shape or form but I want to get a second job in fast food

#it's not a good idea bc the wages are GARBAGE compared to retail #Macca's base rate for my age is less than half my sunday rate #and they don't get much beyond the base rate #whereas retail we have an incredible base rate AND more weekdays past 6pm and weekends (sat is the same as mon-fri 6pm #and sunday is significantly more) #and like yeah im not getting many shifts but if i were to ask for more I still wouldn't be able to work more than 4 hour shifts til july #bc my retail corporation is surprisingly ethical and extends the age limits by a lot #whereas my friend has a 7.5 half hour shift tomorrow AFTER school. on a week night 😁 #which is actually horrifying and should nawwt be legal. thats school 9-3 (+20 min) then work 4-11:30 btw #like i should just wait til my birthday in july n ask for more shifts in retail but i want to try fast food #even though the pay is incredibly ridiculously bad (<10 AUD) (yes our adult minimum wage is a good ~23 but under 21 is a percentage of that #like the pay is so bad so i would earn the same or more doing wayy less hours than retail #but i kinda want to get the fast food experience bc it'll be more difficult to get hired as i age #bc i want to save up 20k for top surgery but at the rate im going it'll be difficult to have even thay #let alone savings after top surgery or money to get a car before #and as school gets more difficult it'll be harder to work more #so maybe i should just grind for a few months or til the end of the year then go back to retail exclusively? #and enjoy higher pay and some longer shifts? #but idkkk it's just such a dilemma bc i want more shifts than I'll get at retail but fast food pays so little #but i also really want the experience and to just try it out #im gonna. idk im gonna sit on it for a bit bc i want to get my legal name change sorted before i apply to any second jobs and that will #take a while #so i shall consider. draw up a timetable. write a pros and cons list #yes that sounds like a solid plan #whoop typo but im on mobile i meant 'wayy less hours IN retail'

[seventh-district]

so uh. that 2.2 Special Program, huh

#hsr #honkai star rail #hsr 2.2 #hsr spoilers #hsr leaks #the body of this post reads as far less enthusiastic than i really am #i just don’t know how to casually return from my latest 2 week hiatus only to gush abt a game i’ve hardly blogged abt before #but i’m not making a whole ass sideblog for it like i did for Genshin. nah y’all r gonna bear witness to my fixation with this one #so anyways don’t mind me. vibrating into another dimension with anticipation for the next 11 days #it’s insane man. a year ago i Never ever woulda thought i’d be so invested in this game. and it took Months for the game to really grab me #but i’m v glad i kept coming back even when i was struggling to really get into it. like i just had this feeling that if i stuck around and #gave the game a chance to really like. come into its stride. i just always felt like there was Something there and i just hadn’t found it #and holy shit i finally found it in Penacony. the devs really truly outdid themselves with this region and these characters and this story #not to discount everything that’s happened prior. like i was genuinely Liking it all before now but i wasn’t Loving it y’know #but that may be more a ‘me having to fight tooth n’ nail to force myself to consume new media’ thing than it is a matter of the actual game #anyways i came here to talk abt the program! bc since i’m not filming my HSR stuff i’m gonna be insufferable abt it on Tumblr instead ! :) #and i’m probably not filming any more Genshin stuff. or anything else at all for that matter but let’s not talk abt that dead dream #pun not intended lmao. Anyways let’s return to the subject at hand while there’s still room left in these tags shall we #i’m so fucking glad they had Aventurine on this program man. especially since he’s leaked to only have 18 lines in 2.2… it was nice to see- #-him here at least 🥹 i’ll take what i can get. his unenthusiastic little bird noises at the beginning.. him being reluctant to come out.. #the way one of the first things to come out of his mouth was ‘y’know DR RATIO once told me…’ like boy we get it ur in love with him 🙄 (/J!) #i love how they can’t go on these programs w/o talking abt each other it’s adorable. AND THE WAY HE WAS THE ONE TO EXPLAIN BOOTHILL’S KIT!? #they can’t just fuel my crackship like this… god and his whole ‘muddle-fudger.. son-of-a-nice-lady?’ thing had me wheezing #Aven mocking Boothill’s inability to curse was not on my special program bingo card but fuck i’m here for it #and Robin being all curious abt him was so cute.. ‘who /is/ he? … does he order milk at the bar?’ i’m crying she’s so sweet #also the trailer was fucking insane. which feels redundant as hell bc all of HoYo’s version trailers go hard but like. still. wow. #that millisecond long shot of Boothill surveying the skyline is so fucking good. also what the fuck is Jing Yuan doing here!! #not complaining at all tho. we’ve got JY & DH(IL?). Argenti(?). Boothill. Sunday. Aven. all my men r here and i am eating so fucking good #Seven.txt #viddy game stuff

[all-thestories-aretrue]

Today is my last day at this job!!

Hopefully I am not making a huge mistake!!

#p #i have 7 weeks until i leave #and i actually picked up a freelance gig to give me some more money which was wholly unexpected but welcome #its a little wild but i feel wayyyy less trapped than i did before i made this decision #less trapped less anxious less sense of impending doom less mood swings #less urge to [redacted] #my mental health has improved so much #this is your sign lol #if you are contemplating quitting your job and moving out of the country #do it!!

[rowanisawriter]

it’s time.. For my modern AU gale/durge…….. this has been cooking long enough lol

#i’m leaning into the writing AU nobody on gods green earth gives a fuck about #cringe but free #anyway i was getting way too deep in the weeds with this story and it was starting to become Not Fun #so i’m just gonna publish the first chapter this week whatever lol #like i do like it it’s a lot fluffier than i usually write which is my main challenge for myself this year #to write less evil #but there are some places where i kept rereading thinking this needs to look different #but actually this fic kind of feeds into original work I’m writing #so im thinking probably im focusing too much on the fic when the ideas I really want to flesh out are in the original work #and everything’s getting a little too muddy so now i need to just publish and step away lol #anyway #if you’re still reading this far down lets get married

[okcoolthanks]

BAG!!!

I HAND SEWED all of it myself :D

The metal thing the straps are connected to are the tabs from spam containers and the fabric is from my moms curtains (rip) and the inside fabric I got from a thrift store :D

I also made a root beer pin, the skeleton, and the “I survived the time loop” pin :DD

#ft my little raccoon who I still need to make a raincoat #this actually took me less time to make than my last one because I CROCHETED THE WNTIRE THING and THAT took a week! #because I didn’t have to literally make the panels this took about three days in total? would’ve been less if I didn’t have to go to school #sewing

[redbootsindoriath]

Whichever anon sent me this today, thank you. There's no way you could have known, but a couple of days ago I suddenly and without warning lost a cat that I raised from the day he was born. When I saw this in my inbox I was confused at first, because what...checkmark...huh...but then I realized that it meant somebody had sent me something--out of the blue, just because--at a time that I really could use something good in my life, even something silly and fun. So, really, thank you. And green is my favorite "real" color, so having one of the checkmarks be green is pretty neat.

I've not really been able to draw anything worth anything lately, believe it or not, so here's the last picture I have of my Night Furry. He loved drives and walks, so earlier this summer on a road trip I took him to the top of the continental divide for a little hike.

(Yes, he's wearing a harness. He had an adventurous and independent temperament, so there was always a risk of him running off to explore someplace where he shouldn't go alone. I didn't just make him wear it because I'm a cruel and stifling cat butler.)

#yo somebody talked to me #/end classification tags #his name is toothless by the way #after the dragon in how to train your dragon of course #ALSO by the way #i would NORMALLY give myself time to actually process this sort of thing and recover because i'm pretty sure i'm in psychological shock #but i'm moving halfway across the continent in like two days (less than a week after he got sick) so there was no way to just #cancel that or delay it or something #so i'm having to just get over it or whatever #👍 #the car ride is going to be lonely but at least i have one more cat to keep me as good of company as she can #even if we've never been as close as toothless and i were #a VERY IMPORTANT note to all of the pet owners who follow me: PLEASE check your yards for poisonous plants #regularly and repeatedly even if there wasn't anything dangerous there before #even if you're only staying in the area for a little while #even if you only let your pets out under close supervision #even if you trust your landlord/landlady (if you rent) #because i was all of those and this still happened #check every single plant out there and be 100% sure you KNOW what each one is #did you know that silverleaf nightshade looks nothing like other kinds of nightshade? #neither did i because i never lived in this area before #anyway sorry for the dump y'all #i don't generally like to share a lot of details about my personal life but i think i'm not quite myself right now #poor little guy hadn't even lived half his expected lifespan so i wasn't ready for this to happen for years #i've been kicking myself over it for days even though i know the blame doesn't TECHNICALLY lie with me and it's messing with my psyche #he was a very special cat #in korean the term is 개양이 and google says the english is puppycat #a cat that is friendly and acts like a dog #i will likely never get a cat anything like him again and that's an awful thing to realize #i would go broke and risk my future to have him back which is stupid i know but he was really something else

[identitty-dickruption]

engaging in some arts and crafts on this fine evening…. if the AA-goers get little chips lord knows I’m gonna get a little colourful thing too

#2 weeks sober!!! #I'm making it up as I go along but #atm my badges are gonna be. one week. two weeks. then monthly until 6 months #after 6 months it gets a little. unsure #should I be still doing it monthly up until one year? unsure! #7 months feels like less of a Mile Stone than like. 6 months #I guess I'll see when I get there #whether or not I still need the encouragement I guess #5 months will be big because I've never really gotten to 5 months before #actually. okay. I have gotten to 5 months but I lost my streak at like. 5 months + 1 week and I think that was my longest #so still. 5 months will be massive