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#(im still stupidly sick)
yeyinde · 4 months
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i’ve always wanted to write about love that lives in shadow of folie à deux. but in the sense that neither of you ever really talk about anything—there’s no discussions of the future, of wants or needs. you just choke each other on your individual madness until it's absorbed through osmosis. and somehow, it always works out in the end.
anyway. all that just to say: John's been thinking about starting a family. and the only means he has in his arsenal to get what he wants—legally, and somewhat morally, anyway—is persuasion. but perhaps not of the ethical kind.
it's a baby trapping fic lmao but with a twist
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scalproie · 15 days
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I'm never gonna get over "her beloved, Kazuya Mishima"
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adreamoverlife · 7 months
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Another wip of my midam fic since its gone completely off the rails and I decided it need an obligatory Adam saving Michael from the Empty chapter
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pinkseas · 2 months
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girls who are generally huge fucking flakes to the point where they genuinely do not have Any Idea how or why their friends still want to be friends at all
#im so stupidly fucking grateful that they DO want to be friends still because i love them so much theyre so so wonderful#but dear god if i do not give them Every Fucking Reason to get sick of my shit and drop me#im really really hoping it gets at least a little bit better once i have a car and can invite them out places or go other places#instead of inviting them over <- never knows what to do when people are at their house Ever she is a SHIT host#but also what if thats just an excuse and even once i do have a car im never going anywhere or doing anything with them??#this CANNOT last forever people are gonna get sick of it eventually its an actual miracle they havent yet#and im just. sitting here not changing anything about it always worrying and never DOING anything about it#its not even just offline!! even online its like i can hardly be bothered to actually do things with people sometimes its so.#girl who claims to care so much about people and then doesnt do a damn thing to actually show it ever#and wonders why shes constantly had people in her life tell her that they dont feel like she cares about them#god. need to talk to my therapist about The Food Thing too.#because the thought of changing anything about it is the single most TERRIFYING thing in my fucking life right now#but it stops me from doing So Much and it makes me So Miserable and So Anxious#and no matter how much i dont want to change it i NEED to change it#sorry for being A Downer ive been in a huge episode/relapse the past 5? 6? weeks and its really starting to fuck me up more than-#-it already was#alyalyoxenfree
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piplupod · 1 year
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,
#sorry to make yet another post tonight fhdksl im just having many emotions and thoughts abt everything lately and the group tonight-#-messed me up pretty bad i think RIP dhdjdl alas#anyways i am just... wishing i could be online less. but i dont have anything irl for social system (no ability to get one either sorry)#(i have... tried. so much. for years. it just isn't happening in my current situation dhdksl)#but like. if i take away social media then i go back to just..spending all my time daydreaming and making art#which sounds great on the surface but uhh its lonely. its very very very lonely fhfkdl#i also dont have the energy i used to so i would mainly be daydreaming and thats not healthy (never was#but yknow. survival techniques fhfksl.) but im just hhhh#i feel like i make myself a fool on here#my pinned post is stupidly big and i feel like i look like a ''chronically online'' goofass (maybe i am tbh) but dbdjdl#i just want ppl to see me and Understand what im saying and where im coming from#i also want ppl to feel safe here !! if u have issues w smth i posted i want it to be clear that u can tell me so i can make this safer !!#like fhdksl idk sorry. im just fhfkdl#i dont want to isolate myself but i dont want to be online so much fhdksl it is hard when my life has been reduced to this though#i wish i had more going on but i cant physically afford to get sick again. my body is incredibly fucked up from covid still!#so i cant go out and do things#and i could go for more walks around but paranoia from trauma makes that hard (plus i need to buy bear spray but thats scary fhdkdl)#(theres an influx of bears the past few years dhfkdl i uhhh am terrified of having a bad encounter w one)#but yeah im just fhdkls idk what to do!#pippen needs 2nd breakfast
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hydrobunny · 1 year
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meet me in the pouring rain
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tags: comfort, established relationship, aftermath of fights, happy ending!!!!!
obviously, you two had your fights. it would be stupid to think you didn't: stupid to assume the two of you were constantly perfect.
you curl up by the door of your bedroom, trying to stop yourself from crying.
you hated this. you hated how you had expected anything different. of course sae itoshi would choose football over you. it was what he had been doing for his entire life.
but why had you thought today would be something different? just because it was your birthday?
you had asked him if you two were doing anything so excitedly, so stupidly. he had looked at you with the blankest expression you had seen.
and of course when you tried to press the matter, he had snapped at you that he was busy- to not bother him before practice.
and the words had spewed out of your mouth, telling him to get on with it and get out of the house.
sae hadn't argued further, merely blinking at you in vague confusion before slamming the door behind him.
he hadn't returned for lunch. and with the sheer amount of rain outside, you knew he couldn't be practicing still. (well, you mused, there was a slight chance.)
but that meant he had to be taking shelter somewhere away from your home, somewhere with other people.
lightning crackled outside. the rain was really coming on in droves now. you curl further into a ball and listen to your own heartbeat, steady and calming.
the notification sound of your phone was a scare, and you flinch, hard. you look around for the source of the noise. the dings continue on and on.
when you finally find your phone, you're stunned to see the contact sae <33
the messages are a clear change from his usual short ones, practically an entire chain of frantic words. it's a drastic change compared to the dead silence he's been giving you today.
y/n
fuck i'm sorry
i didn't mean what i did in the morning
i forgot the date i'm so sorry
y/n?
i'm outside. you don't have to come if you don't want to. i'll stay.
you stare at that last message. sae was-
you run to her window, heart rate rising. you can barely see past the sheer amount of rain slamming down.
but sae was there. you can make out his vague form, the rain unforgivably landing on top of his head.
you almost fall down the stairs with how fast you run down. you skid to a stop in front of the door.
your hand turns on the knob.
“sae,” you breathe out.
sae looks at you with a bouquet of soaked roses and a small box, looking more like a drowned rat than the boyfriend you knew.
“you're going to get sick,” you sputter. “what were you-”
“i love you,” sae interrupts, eyes glowing with an intensity unfamiliar to you.
you've only seen that look on the field, when he's truly concentrating.
"i'm so fucking sorry," he continues. "i need you to know that you are my first priority. i know i don't act like it- but you're the best thing that's happened to me."
your mouth hangs open, your voice weak. "come inside."
he does. you gently take the roses from him and place them on the table. he pockets the box, and you don't question him.
sae waits patiently for you to speak.
"i'm sorry too," you finally say. "i shouldn't have-"
he grabs onto your hands, squeezing reassuringly. "don't apologize. im the one who forgot. it's not-it'll never be your fault."
you swallow. "i love you. but you should really go change-"
"before that," sae digs back into his pocket and pulls out the neatly wrapped box. "here."
the wrapping paper gives easily underneath your nails. you eye the box warily. it's clearly jewelry, so you crack the thing open-
"jesus christ-" you fumble the box.
sae catches it easily, raising one eyebrow.
"you got a ring?"
"it's not what you think it is." he hums, gently taking the ring out of the box. it's a pretty little thing, all delicate and fragile looking. "my proposal wouldn't be this tacky."
you stare at him. "so the ring is..."
"a promise," he answers as he slides it carefully onto your finger. "for a better one eventually."
the blood rushes to your face immediately. sae doesn't seem phased at all, even if he's just confessed that he's going to marry you.
"i-"
sae sneezes. once, and then twice.
you grab his arm. "okay. you are getting into some warm clothes."
he frowns, but follows you up the stairs anyway.
when the two of you reach the bedroom, you stop him by the door.
"you know, i only wanted two words."
his head tilts almost imperceptibly, confusion leaking-
sae smiles. "happy birthday."
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f4rlands · 2 years
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is it too early to drop out T~T
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cutecatlov3r · 10 months
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my character ai bots:
jjk:
gojo satoru:
his eyes r funny looking- now, you were laughing your ass off due to the fact that he took off his blindfold during a mission with a curse. you couldn’t help but laugh because he looked so stupidly serious.
wardrobe malfunction- as you walked out he stifled a laugh. “what the hell are ya wearin’?”
he’s annoying- he is so annoying. even in highschool he was unbearable to be around. you hated his annoying ass. but he loved being around you.
vampire au- “oh? the little princess is out of her kingdom? wanted to see me huh?” he teased, looking at her as she hangs upside down.
can’t get enough of him- you and gojo have been on and off since highschool. it’s like everytime you both break up you both just can’t get enough of each other…
your affair- even if you were married he still didn’t care. his feelings for you are deep. he loves you. no matter how many times you tell him you have to stop the little affair going on between you two, he simply doesn’t care
geto suguru:
dad’s best friend- “gonna be quiet like a good girl? or show your dad that you’re just a very bad girl?” he whispered in your ear. his voice deep and quiet, sending chills down your spine.
nanami kento:
healing ur daddy issues- “how’s my baby girl doing today hm?” he pat his lap, gently. “come here, sit.”
yu haibara:
he’s gone- “i’ll be back! don’t miss me too much!” he cheekily smiled. that damn smile… that would be the last time you’d ever see it again.
he’s sick- he coughs and pouts as he lays in his dorm room bed. he was squirming around, sweating and throwing his covers off him. he was currently sick, he was missing a mission that he wanted to go on so badly
he admires you- you disliked him because he followed you around like a lost puppy… he admired you, an upperclassman.
yuji itadori:
he’s delulu- meeting Itadori you didn’t expect him to be so clingy and so sweet to you. little did you know he has a huge crush on you, he is a bit obsessive but he doesn’t let you know that.
your parents hate him- the thing about him is that he is sometimes a bit dumb? he just doesn’t seem like a professional person so when your parents met him, they didn’t like him at all. but that never stopped you from loving him or the other way around
dorky best friend- currently though the two of you were on a mission, sharing a hotel room. he was in a white robe, swirling a glass of wine being dramatic. it was his first time wearing a robe and he wanted to be fancy, be in the moment like a dork.
shibuya arc- “im nothing but a murderer! i can’t forgive myself!” he cried. you stood there looking down at him. sukuna only took over his body for a minute and a lot things happened.
best boyfriend- currently, he was resting between your thighs as you both watch a movie, he used his arms to squish himself against his face some more. “i wouldn’t mind dying from suffocation if it’s with these”
gossiping w him- “HUH?! i need to hear about this, spill everything.” he said in a dramatic tone, joking.
captain of the football team-“hey, you comin’ to my game tonight? last one of the season, I need my lucky charm there to cheer for me.” he giggled, turning you around to face him, your back pressed against your locker.
older brother’s best friend- you were drunk off your ass at some party. yuji spotted you and immediately got on his feet to help you as you stumbled around. “are you okay? megumi is gonna kill you… I’ll get you home”
your his mentor- haibara and yuji had so many similarities. it hurt you to just look at yuji’s smile, being reminded of haibara who died back in your teenage years
he’s in love w you but you already have a boyfriend- yuji is no homewrecker but… currently you’ve stumbled on top of him while training him… he can’t help but think about how Yuta doesn’t deserve you. how Yuta is connected to the woman you used to be.
megumi fushiguro:
step brother- “tch. what the hell are you looking at?” he asked, scaring a guy that had his eyes on you.
yuta okkotsu:
he chose geto’s side- the day he met Geto he was nervous. Geto explained why he wants to kill everyone who isn’t a sorcerer. at the time he declined the offer to join him but later on he rethought his decision. he thought about his past. he left with Geto.
he likes when you hurt him- the two of you brawled for a bit, ending up with your knee on his back, pinning him down. one hand gripping his hair, the other hand pinning down his hand.
your a fan- gojo-sensei took you with him to greet the sorcerer that you’ve heard so much about. he was coming back from training abroad in Africa. you were excited.
helping the newbie- “hey not to be rude but do you not like me…? i feel the tension between us…” he mumbled, frowning slightly.
your other half- right now you both were walking together. he had something important to tell you, he was gonna be training in Africa in a few weeks. gojo-sensei told him he should tell you but he’s just been nervous
inumaki toge:
hajime kashimo:
noritoshi kamo:
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guys I will be adding more soon, please leave some suggestions tho ! <3
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after-witch · 11 months
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With Your Heartbeat Next to Mine [Yandere Mahito x Reader]
Title: With Your Heartbeat Next to Mine [Yandere Mahito x Reader]
Synopsis: You were lying to yourself if you claimed to think Mahito would be satisfied with kisses and late-night snuggles on the couch.
Word count: 1220ish
Notes: yandere, possessiveness, implied dubcon, talks of virginity, self-blame for unwanted advances, Mahito in general
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Mahito steps forward, and you’re trapped between the unusual coolness of his body and your bedroom wall. One of your posters--some sun-faded thing leftover from your school years--crinkles against your back. You hope it doesn’t rip, and then you’re back to worrying about more important things.
Like the fact that Mahito wants you to have sex. Tonight. Today. Right now. 
“It’s just--I’m not ready,” you say, lips dry, stammering stupidly. “I’m a--I mean, I’ve never… I haven’t…”
Mahito quirks his head, and then grins, all teeth and salaciousness. “Oh-hh. You’re a virgin, then?” When you don’t answer, he pokes the end of your nose with a finger. “I read about it. It doesn’t matter to me. Humans attach importance to silly things, don’t they?”
Something like humiliation and hurt puffs up in you. He doesn’t take anything seriously, at least not when it comes to you. It’s never bothered you too much. It was part of the charm, the game, of being with someone like him.
But this is… different. Isn’t it? And it bothers you, deep down, even though you really forfeited all rights to any sort of normal relationship expectations the moment you willingly kissed a literal curse. 
“It’s not silly.” 
Your eyebrows furrow and you think back to fumbled romances from before Mahito. Awkward make-out sessions on the couch that always ended in you telling your dates that you weren’t ready to go that far, and they either smoothly accepted it and got their time’s worth with sloppy kisses and gropes or got the hell out of dodge, and you’re not sure which was more hurtful in the end. 
And then came Mahito. And he was different.  And a curse. And you were in something-like-a-relationship with him, but you didn’t know what to call it when the person you were seeing couldn’t be seen by anyone around you and he tortured people (to death, or not, and you definitely knew which one was worse in that case) for fun and “science” and you, sick and selfish thing, still loved the way he pressed kisses up your neck to feel your heartbeat or yanked your bottoms down to taste what was underneath or simply held you all night while you watched movies. 
And now he wants to push you down onto your bed and fuck you, and you don’t know what to do or say.  You don’t want it, but you knew it was coming, like it always does in any relationship. Was it any wonder that it came, too, in this one? 
Mahito puffs air in your face and you flinch, startled out of your thoughts. 
“Where’d you go, hmm?” You feel his fingers on your chin and you know what’s coming when one of them slides along your lips.  One of Mahito’s fingers hooks onto the side of your mouth, and if you weren’t used to him playing around with your body like it was a lump of clay, it would have bothered you. Instead you wonder when he last washed his hands, even as he stretches your lip upward, a mockery of a half-smile.
“Humans are silly. You’re silly,” he says, all matter-of-fact. Then he sighs, put-off or tired or just pretending to be in order to make himself more palatable, more humanesque, to you. You can never tell with him, and that’s part of the thrill. “Is it because you…” 
He releases your lips and taps his chin, putting on a show as he thinks for a moment, digging out information from whatever well of knowledge he stores things in. He normally pulls out trivia about humanity that would be better suited to some sort of criminology class. But today it’s something far less morbid, though hardly any less anxiety-inducing.
“Are you saving yourself for marriage? Is that why you don’t want to have sex?”
Your cheeks feel impossibly hot. 
You shake your head, looking down, unable to look at him. He never has a problem staring at you for what always feels like a terribly long time. Sometimes he does it so you’ll give him the answer he wants. Other times, it’s to study you--or that’s what you think, anyway. 
Mahito pouts. “Oh. Darn. I was thinking we might have a wedding, if that was the case. I’ve always admired those pretty dresses in the windows.” He sighs again. “Probably couldn’t invite him, though, anyway. He wouldn’t approve.” He smiles again, bright and peppy, all imitations of tiredness tossed aside like an old coat. “Did you know he wanted me to kill you the first time I brought you up?” 
You nod, because Mahito has had no problem telling you that his companions think he should have killed you a long time ago, and sometimes he thinks about it. But then he remembers how much fun you have together, so he puts it off for another day.
And the thought hits you like lead: If you won’t have sex with him, will he kill you? Will refusing make you too annoying or boring to put up with? Or is it better to say no and keep up the chase, make him fight for you? It was almost dizzying, the way relationship games became serious with Mahito around. A regular guy might just break up with you. Mahito might just break your neck.  
“Then… oh!” His expression brightens and he looks so sweet like this that you can almost forget what he is and what you’re doing with him. Almost. “You’re worried about the pain.” He nods, a mockery of sage wisdom. “I’ve read about that, too. He tilts his head back a little. “In novels. It’s cute…”
“You’re cute,” he says, and that’s a good sign--right?--because it means he still wants you. And you’re at least another step farther from being turned into some awful experiment in a sewer. 
His lips press against your ear, and his voice is too close and he’s too close, but you signed up for this when you let him in your life, didn’t you? You let him hold you and kiss you and if you didn’t think he’d eventually want more,  you were lying to yourself. 
“Don’t worry,” he murmurs, and it does nothing but make you worry more. “I’ll be gentle.”
The most awful thing of all is that you can't tell if he's being genuine or not.
He grins, a sticky smile that oozes an awful dark pressure that makes your stomach clench. It would be better, you think, to do what he wants. Since he seems to want it so much. And… you should be flattered, if anything. Right? Be flattered. Be grateful. Appreciate that some all-powerful curse wants to press you into a mattress and have sex with your body and pull out your mewls and moans like he’s done before, albeit in a far less intimidating fashion. 
Mahito presses a chaste kiss to the end of your nose, then pulls back to examine your expression. 
“That’s what I’m supposed to say, isn’t it?” His fingers card through your hair up your scalp, scratching just a little too hard to feel nice. “So you don’t fight as much?”
You swallow, and your throat is so tight that your spit might as well be needles. 
Mahito, not wanting for an answer, presses his hands against your shoulder and pushes you harder against the wall as he moves in for a hungry kiss. Behind you, the poster rips. 
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ugotcooneycrossed · 5 months
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have i told you lately, im grateful youre mine • alessia russo
w/c: ~900
alessia doesn't like anyone as much as she likes you- or, how mean girl less is really just a big softie
a/n: i dont really love this but its done so
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the skies are overcast- the cold wind hitting your cheeks and nose- no matter how hard you try to cover them in your scarf.
it’s raining- small droplets fall down and splatter on the ground, and on your clothes- well alessia’s clothes, but really it’s basically yours anyway.
it feels just like home really.
you had no reason to make the move to america- unfortunately gifted with the burden of two left feet, and asthma so bad your breathing could rival that of a pug, a sport scholarship was out of the question. thankfully your skills in books landed you with endless opportunities, that wouldn’t cause you to fall on your face. you could’ve gone to any uni really- but with an academic scholarship calling, and the promise of much better weather, you couldn’t turn it down.
and it was only ironic that you met alessia when you finally got to UNC- stargirl to the extreme and very- very serious footballer. even thinking about her sport made you breathless- or well, thinking about her playing football with the stupidly attractive captains armband made you breathless.
friday night games are your favourite- all your focus can be diverted to watching your girlfriend play.
and like every other week- your voice is sore from how much you’ve been cheering and screaming for the blonde striker.
they’re winning two – nil, those scored by of course alessia.
and no matter how many games you go to, no matter if they’re here at UNC or somewhere across the world for youth international duties, and no matter how many times she scores. you will always be the loudest one cheering.
you manage to make eye contact with her, beaming at her and sending her a thumbs up-and she smirks back at you, blowing you a kiss. your cold cheeks start to warm and you sit back down when the people around you start to tease you.
everyone and their mothers know who alessia russo’s girlfriend is- she’s quite known for her possessive streak around campus.
there was the time where she poured her drink on someone when they didn’t get the hint, also the time she came to you at half-time at her game to steal your jacket so everyone could see the number on the back of your shirt- then nursing you back to health when you inevitably got sick, and also the time she blew off training and had to run laps- all because she wanted to cuddle.
so, no- she’s not subtle at all.
not that you’d complain of course- her jealousy is very attractive.
by the time the stands clear out- it’s just you left, waiting for your girlfriend to finish her post match routine.
“hey (y/n)!”
you beam at the voice- running down the steps to jump into lotte’s arms for a hug.
“hi! you were so great out there!”
“how do you know- I’m sure lessi was all you could focus on.”
“that’s not true carlotte. i love all you girls equally.”
“hmm well i wasn’t even playing, so i think you’re lying.”
lotte wiggles her eyebrows at you, and your mouth drops I shock- before you rub the back of your neck in embarrassment.
“sorry lotts.”
“just kidding! i really was playing- but you still didn’t notice so ha!”
“go bother someone else’s girlfriend lotte- or, go get your own!”
alessia swings her arm around your shoulder and your hand comes up to hold hers- fingers entwining. alessia presses a kiss to the side of you face and stares at lotte.
“calm down less- i’m just messing around.”
you elbow your girlfriend.
“yeah, yeah. bye now lotte i’ll see you tomorrow.”
you both watch the older girl walk away- and alessia sets off, arm still around your shoulders, bringing you close to her side. you start to stumble over your feet at the awkward angle she’s created.
“less let me go- i can’t walk properly.”
“no.”
-
in the few years alessia’s been here, she’s garnered quite the reputation- a harsh captain with a mean streak, always quick with insults, and never afraid to get into a physical fight.
she’s competitive, and judgemental- and well a mean girl.
but you know better.
you know that she’s a sucker for romantic films- no matter how many times she tells you its stupid, she’ll always end up crying first.
you know that she lets you win- at any game really, ‘miss sore loser’ seems to always forget how to play whenever its against you.
you know that her jealousy is just because she loves you- and despite time, and time again reassuring her that she doesn’t need to be jealous, that you have and always will love just her- she continues to bite the head off just about anyone who so much as looks at you.
you can especially see it in the way she grips your hand tighter, the way her eyes glare at anyone daring to get too close, but mostly- you can tell in the way she refuses to let you go, from whatever party youre at, all the way back to your dorms.
shes a softie really- hanging off you as if you were her lifeline- puckering her lips and begging for kisses.
no one knows her the way you do.
the way you could do absolutely nothing with her and itd still be perfect.  
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kaprisvn · 6 months
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Here, take a Sun render for the long journey ahead!!
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Obligatory click for better quality <3
I did this drawing on my phone and for some reason the colours look WAY different on PC...
Also, for those who care, I SWEAR I DIDN'T GIVE UP ON MY COMIC I'VE JUST BEEN STUPIDLY BUSY. I was sick for a week, got my wisdom teeth removed (it was hell), got sick again, had to catch up on over a weeks worth of school work, and now IM SICK AGAIN. I've been having a rough 2 months but I still want to get the comic done :)
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cheriiyaya · 6 months
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Crap, he was staring.
The suddeness of the realization whiplashed dazai and he pried his eyes away from you. He fumbled with his pen, twirling it around his bandaged fingers once, then twice before setting it down with a sigh. Untouched paperword was strewn about his desk and dazai didn't want to work on it.
He'd rather spend his hours staring at you as you worked, even if it meant getting yelled at by kunikida. His coworker hadn't figured out how dazai had fell hard for you, and dazai'd like to keep it that way.
He rested his chin in the palm of his hand, glancing your way but not turning his head even if it strained his eyes to look at you like that, but it didn't matter to him.
Even a glimpse of you was enough for him.
He watched in pure awe and adoration for you as you did simple, mundane things; leaning back in your chair and staring at the ceiling for a second. The slight crinkle in your nose and the way your brows knitted together, it made him want to walk over there beside you and kiss the wrinkled tension off your pretty face.
The thought of doing that made dazai's heart flutter in his chest.
With a sigh, he laid face-down on his desk with a groan, running his fingers through messy, knotted brown waves.
Why does he have to be stupidly infatuated with you? He drummed his fingers on the hardwood of his desk, sighing and pulling his head up.
He got up from his chair, nearly tipping his chair over and scaring poor atsushi. The boy stammered something to dazai- probably about where was he going- but dazai hadn't heard. He took in a glimpse of you before walking out the agency.
You hadn't even noticed him leave.
Dazai made his way down to the cafe under the agency, not even sparing a glance at the waitress he'd normally flirt with as he walked out of the door.
He needed out. He needed to get away from you and his feelings for you. He needed to go anywhere but near you-
Even if his heart drew him to you.
Walking down the street, dazai tried to think of anything but you.
Oh, that bird is building a nest. Oh, there's a flower growing in the fissures of the street.
Just like you grew a place in the cracks of his heart.
He stopped, someone bumped into his shoulder and quickly apologised before hurrying away.
He's thinking of you again.
A pause, then Dazai continued his walk back to the agency dorms. This time, he's allowing you to flood his mind and haunt his every thought as you had done to his wretched, blacked heart.
He loves you.
To dazai, the mere thought of you is more addictive than the cheap sake he delights in every night, the cheap canned crab he enjoys so much. It makes his heart race more than the rush of adrenaline during a near-death experience; the kind that screams he's alive and he's lived, even if he doesn't believe it.
Dazai may be an intelligent man, but when it came to you he was nothing more than the foolish boy he never got to be.
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A/N: wrote this at 10 pm on a crappy ass phone and I have school tomorrow so I'll add a header and shit tmmrw jpxhpxhlxpgxllg im so tiredddddd and still sick wah
Edit: OH YEAH THANK YOU GUYS FOR 26 FOLLOWERS :DDD
Edit 2: oh yeah for those who want it part two is up!
REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED!!
©Cheriiyaya 2023
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moneymartin · 1 month
Text
・❥・- one more?
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summary: kate comes home tired and needy :( part two to this fic. build up drabble to part three
warnings: none! fluff cause its kate :3 this is kinda shorter than the last one soz. again, every divider is a skip. most are constant cuz im lazy. didn’t know how to end oops!!!
rpf dont read it if ur uncomfy thx
a/n: all yjs reqs r still itw soooo they’ll be out soon poopies 🙄 also my single part drabble for kate is lowk marinating in my drafts and i don’t have the motivation to finish it…
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its been 5 months since you and kate finally ended up together. pretty long, right? but you two never really got the hang of this thing, especially after remembering how long those feelings between you two had been brewing up for. it was still hard for you to show up to her games and practice due to soccer season, and the second it ended, you showed up to nearly every single one of them.
“i really can’t come this time, baby, i told you!” you grumble while kate drags you across the dorm. they had their practice game at carver today but you couldn’t make it, which made kate upset. “dilanni is gonna kill me if i don’t show up.” your soccer team needed to show up together for this fundraiser, and it was during the offseason. fucking lame. you hated letting her down all the time but some things like this just needed to be done.
kate’s fingers grip at your sweater sleeve, her eyes soft, and lips slightly pouting. “can you please just say you feel sick!? you’ll finish quicker than i will and it’s not like they won’t let you in.” she begs and tugs a little at it. her height makes you a little overwhelmed but she’s slightly bent at the knees and trying to make herself seem smaller than she really is. “kate, its just practice. its not like its the final fours yet.” you sigh and make her stand up straight. your eyes dart to hers and you bring your hands up to cup her face. the way she leans into your touch makes your face flush up like never before.
“yeah, but you always show out! i know we’re still trying to keep this on the down low still but i love pointing at you in the crowd before i make a shot during our practices.” she complains, trying to pull her head away from your hands but you keep her in place like a vice. your thumb brushes up against her face and she sighs under her breath. all those shots that she makes have all been for you ever since. and you didn’t even know that. everything she did on the court was meant for you. “i’ll make a deal with you, okay?” your words make her feel a little bit better and she nods ecstatically.
“when you get back we can do whateverrrr you want to make you feel better about me not showing up. does that sound good?” you propose, the idea crossing your mind after you realize that she just wants to spend that time with you while her teammates try to piece together this big puzzle. none of them know other than caitlin, and they’re completely unaware of you and kate’s relationship. “yes! okay, deal! deal deal deal…!” she blurts out and smiles stupidly, leaning her head towards you again as a sign that she wants a kiss.
you give it and let go of her face, wrapping your arms around her waist quickly and pressing another big kiss to her cheek. “don’t work yourself too hard out there.” you breathe out and pat her back before letting go of it. “this fundraiser should only be an hour, trust me.” kate just shrugs and smiles again, less big but you still know that she’s pretty happy at your little proposition for when she gets back. the moment you walk out of that door, her face drops and she rubs awkwardly at the back of her neck. she’s alone now, and doesn’t know what to do. you’ve been with her for every game and every practice so she’s lost most of her motivation to go. “aw, dang it..”
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after your little fundraiser, you come home exhausted and dreary when you realize kate is gone too. you two are exactly the same person, lost without one another. it’s cute but sometimes it’s hard. this whole relationship thing is such a different concept and it makes your head hurt. the lock clicks on the door and you dig through your closet, finding a pair of pjs and some small shirt kate likes seeing you wear for ‘some reason’. which is what she says every time you ask.
a quick change and your casual clothes scatter across the floor before you basically face plant into the pillows. a warm feeling fills up your body while you fall asleep, a feeling that seems different still without kate. you two always sleep and take naps together so this is another thing you have to get yourself used to.
the stupid fundraiser ran longer than it should have. at least another 30-45 minutes extra and you weren’t very prepared for it. kids were all over the place too and you were somewhat on babysitting duty? according to your teammates. you stood with all the kids for at least an hour and the questions they asked you were probably the stupidest things ever.
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the sound of the door opening is what wakes you up, fingers instinctively rubbing your eyes and sitting up. you’re met with the sight of kate rummaging sluggishly through her backpack and taking out clothes. she mumbles out a small ‘hi’ and yawns, walking into the bathroom. the sound of the shower hits your ears and you just lay back down, trying to keep yourself awake to fulfill that proposal you made earlier.
a few moments after the shower turns off, the bathroom door opens and your mattress shifts in weight, a few drops of water coaxing you to open up your eyes. kate is sitting on the edge of the bed and she tucks herself in, burying her face into your neck. “how was practice?” you mutter, moving her wet strands of hair to sprawl out on the bed. she grumbles into your neck instead of instantly responding. “tiring, huh?” you ask.
“extremely.” she whispers breathily and looks up at you. kate’s eyes are slightly droopy and her lips are pursed. your arm wraps itself around her back and you tilt her head up with your hand, making her look up at you as you start rubbing her temples gently. kate’s eyes are opening and closing continuously while your fingers continue to massage her head and she huffs heavily a few times.
you push kate’s head into your neck again and slide your hands onto her shoulders, patting them gently to make her fall asleep easier. she doesn’t though. instead, she hoists her head up and quickly locks her lips with yours, grabbing your waist and holding herself up with her arms. her fingers are gripping at the bedsheets tight and she’s kissing you a little bit too hard. not that you mind, of course. “mmmf.. hey?” you pant and pull away from the kiss, making eye contact with kate and realizing where she’s placed her hands.
“i’m just kissing you.” kate mumbles and doesn’t even bother waiting for you to finish catching your breath. she kisses you again, propping herself up on her elbows and grabbing your arms to wrap around her waist. “y- yeah! but like… let me get a breather at least.” you laugh quietly. you’re still trying to catch your breath and the more you try to get away, the more persistent she becomes. “c’mon. you’re just sleepy, baby. get your butt to bed and you’ll be alllll good in the morning.” you smile and push her shoulders down.
kate ends up falling onto your body and her nose brushes up against your cheek, her lips running up and down your neck as she starts kissing all over it. “one more..” she rasps out and slides her hands underneath your shirt. she starts to claw your back a few times, whining into your neck when you try to push her away. “kate, please.” you grunt and pull back, nearly falling off of the edge of the bed.
her face is the same one as earlier. her big, pretty blue eyes going soft and her lips pouting. she looks like a sad puppy and you hate it. you hate how you can’t say no to it. “just one more! this is the last one and i’ll sleep, i swear.” kate spits out and tilts her head to the side. she yawns, her eyes getting watery and now you know that it’s basically over for you. “i can’t.” you mutter. “yes, you can. it’s just one more kiss, babe. please?!”
“all you have to do is give me one, and i’ll sleep!”
“you say this all the time! you’re gonna say that you’ll ‘sleep after’ but the second my lips land on yours, you’re gonna act like an animal.”
“that’s not true.”
“oh, yeah? watch.”
you cup her cheeks and she grabs your waist gently, your lips going in for one quick one. when she feels how warm you are and how much you’re trying to really prove a point, she just helps your claim anyways. kate’s lips are against yours again, kissing hungrily.
i mean, she’s practically eating away at your face.
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prazinos · 1 year
Note
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GIVE US ACADEMIC RIVALS TO LOVERS XAVIER X READER PLEADE IM BEGGING YOU
OKAY BUT LIKE THIS IS MY EXCUSE TO WRITE XAVIER SFW
Disclaimer ~ I do not support Percy Hynes White, this is about the character and not the actor.
WARNINGS ! ~ none just fluff <3
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You hated Xavier Thorpe. There was no other way to put it.
In your mind he was arrogant, annoying, and stupidly attractive.
You hadn't always hated him though, your first day at Nevermore he gave you a tour of the school and you were even friends with him. But then over break, he just ignored you. Didn't text you, call you, he ghosted you completely.
Even when you got back to school he ignored you. It was like you were the plague to him.
And then he did start talking to you again. In a way. You became rivals, academic rivals. Always competing over the answer. Honestly your fellow peers and teachers were getting sick of your bickering.
But you couldn't help it, you hated him and you needed to prove that you were better than him.
You got your serial studies exams back today. And you were more than confident that you would get a better score than Xavier.
Looking down at the paper Mr Grimrose had given you, you smiled at the score
100%
You looked over to see Xavier not smiling at his paper and your smile grew.
He glanced over at you and if looks could kill, you would be dead. You pouted at him dragging a finger down your cheek in a mocking way telling him to cry about it.
He rolled his eyes before the bell went off. And he practically stormed out of the room.
'You have got to give it a rest' Enid said walking up behind you
'No way, he's a douchebag'
'It doesn't matter if he is Y/N, you should just talk it out with him'
'Or you can just gouge his eyes out' Wednesday said coming around from behind Enid.
'Thank you, somebody who's trying to help' you said gesturing towards Wednesday.
Enid rolled her eyes
'I'm sorry Cara Mia but he has been a bitch to Y/N' Wednesday said turning to Enid.
Wednesday knew that the nickname would make Enid smile. It always did.
You rolled your eyes smiling at the two before walking out the classroom, being stopped by Mr Grimrose.
'Miss L/N'
'Yes Mr Grimrose?'
'I need you to give this to Mr Thorpe. I gave him the wrong test by accident'
'Mr Grimrose why don't you ask Enid or Bianca to give it to him?'
'Because I'm asking you Y/N'
Mr Grimrose is normally your favourite teacher. With his interesting Owl like face and bird like legs and feet. his small rounded glasses and always wearing a fancy button up with a vest over top.
you groaned taking the paper before walking out the classroom, heading towards Xaviers dorm.
Knocking on the door a bit too hard, you took a step back waiting for Xavier to open the door.
You were met with Ajax instead, him giving you a quizzical look
'You seriously cannot have smoked all the weed I gave you already'
'No of course not I'm not that bad'
'What're you doing here then'
'Can you give this to Xavier' you asked him shoving the test towards him.
'Oooh damn I really would but I have to help Wednesday get Enid a birthday present' He said before slamming the door
Enids birthday was in February. Its July.
You sighed, knowing where Xavier would be. Where you and him had gone to smoke weed many times. Where you would listen to music together and talk about whatever rumours were going around.
Don't cry.
Making your way to the stupid shed, you didnt even knock before stepping in. There he was. The stupid boy that had made you cry countless times. Listening to music about to uncover a canvas, before noticing you.
taking out an earbud he faced you directly narrowing his eyes at you.
'What are you doing here'
'Grimrose told me to give you this' you said slamming down the test on the stool next to him. He glanced down at it smiling
99%
'You still didn't beat me you know' you said snarkly
'God everything has got to be a competition with you'
'Oh that is rich coming from you Xavier' you spat not looking at his face. 'Like you don't rub it in my face when you get a higher score than me' You continued
He didn't respond, opting to sigh annoyedly
'You just can't take it when somebody is better than you Y/N'
'Excuse me?'
'You heard what i said, you can't take it when somebody is better than you'
'You are not better than me Xavier, you are nowhere near better than me, you stopped responding to me, you started glaring at me in the hallways, you started showing off your test answers'
He didn't speak, you had to egg him on, get some sort of response
'Why'd you do it?'
'Because'
'That's not an answer'
'Because I couldn't handle my feelings'
'What?'
'I couldn't handle falling in love with you'
You stared at him. He's not really confessing his love for you is he? You looked at his face, no indication he was lying.
Yes it was true that you as well had a crush on him, you told him during one of your highs that you were crushing on him. You were on facetime with him, talking about anything and everything and then you ruined everything.
'You know, I've been crushing on you for like, ever'
That was right before he ghosted you. Those ten words ruined your friendship. But now you suppose it wasn't
Your eyes were tearing up, too many emotions were filling you, hate, sadness, love, anger
before you knew it, tears were streaming down your face. And he wiped them away.
There was your Xavier. Your sweet, kind, handsome Xavier.
You looked up at him, noticing the look of sadness that had washed over his face.
He leant down, gripping your jaw softly in his hand,
His lips were on yours
His lips were on yours.
It soon turned to an erratic make out, him backing you into the desk against the wall, him lifting you onto the desk, wrapping his arms around your waist loosely
Your arms wrapped around his neck as you deepened the kiss. he was stood between your legs and it was almost amusing how he still had to crane his neck so much to be able to kiss you.
'Yo Xavier I got some good stuff just begging to be-'
You broke apart at the voice, Ajax standing there, a bag of rolled joints in his hand, his mouth agape.
He pulled out his phone before you and Xavier could move from the position you were in, snapping a photo. Your eyes widened, about to yell at him before he ran back out the door.
Xavier's head turned back to you. Smiling dopily at you, he leant back down reconnecting your lips.
after a while you both parted, panting heavily.
'So what are you painting?' you asked him softly.
he smiled nervously
'its nothing really' he said
you smiled devilishly, hopping off the bench before he could pull you back and went over to the covered painting.
you pulled back the black sheet to see a painting.
of you
your mouth dropped open, as he walked over, scratching the back of his neck, a nervous habit.
'I thought you mainly painted your dreams?'
'You are in my dreams'.
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OKAY BUT I THINK THIS WAS ACTUALLY SO CUTE AND I HOPE ANON THINKS SO AS WELL
Lmk if you liked this by, Liking, Commenting, or Reblogging !
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jadeylovesmarvelxo · 1 year
Text
Now She's Gone
Summary; It's been two and a half years since Steve achieved his dream of being a rockstar. It's also been two and a half years since he broke your heart.
Back in Hawkins for a one-off show he doesn't expect you to have moved on and who you've moved on with.
Warnings; Angst, angst, past heartache, Eddie is a sweetie, Steve is a dick, mentions of past cheating, rockstar Steve.
Past Steve x Ex! Reader
Eddie Munson x Reader
If you enjoyed this pls leave a like or reblog :) Ty ❣️
Posted this the other day but my dumb ass accidentally deleted it 😫 enjoy 💕
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I dont give anyone permission to copy my work.
❤️
Heard she's engaged but to her best friend, no ones to blame.
here's where it all ends and I feel the pain, cause im without her.
I feel the pain.
🌸💕
Steve had everything he could possibly want. Fame, money, the adulation of thousands of fans and sex with different women whenever he wanted.
A rockstar life.
He had long forgotten about the woman that he left behind in Hawkins, who's heart he shattered into a million pieces.
You didn't matter because it's not like he was ever back in Hawkins to see you again, to feel the guilt over how things ended between you two.
Until now.
His manager had decided to host a one-off concert in Hawkins and he was not happy.
Okay, so it was nice seeing Dustin and the other little nuggets and Robin but he was still fuming.
The thing that made his heart beat out of his chest? That stopped him in his tracks?
It was seeing you. Looking so beautiful, your smile big and infectious, then he catches the glint on your finger and his stomach drops.
An engagement ring. It's a gut punch and he feels like he can't breathe.
What did he expect though? He's been gone for over 2 and a half years.
Did he expect you to still be single? That was fucking stupid.
Who was the douchebag you were marrying? It doesn't take long for him to find out as Eddie the freak Munson comes up behind you, wraps his arms around your waist and kisses you until your giggling.
You look so in love it makes him sick.
"What the fuck" he says a little too loudly and it attracts your attention and Eddie who's face falls.
Instead of looking happy to see him, you look stunned and then annoyed. You turn away from him and instead go to hug Dustin who then comes bounding up to him.
He's still in shock and knows this trip won't be smooth sailing at all. In fact, it might be the hardest thing he's ever done.
🌸
Steve knew it was stupid asking you for another chance, stupidly arrogant and a bad idea but he couldn't stop thinking about you after seeing you with Eddie.
After a set check he decided to check at your place of work to see you. You worked with Nancy on the town paper.
Nancy seeing him gave him the most evil eye he had ever received.
Boy was it a bad idea. He expected you to be annoyed but the look on your face nearly sent him scarpering for cover when you saw him.
It got even worse when he told you why he came to see you.
Your chest was heaving, eyes flashing and you let out the loudest, most fierce "What the fuck?" he had ever heard.
Then you started laughing and only stopped when he grabbed you by the hands.
"I'm serious honey, we were good together and Munson? seriously? You think that loser freak can keep you happy?"
That was the worst thing he could have said because he was sure there were sparks coming from you now.
"How dare you! Seriously how fucking dare you!!" he shrugs.
"So that's a no?" you snort and walk towards him and he takes a step back, yeah maybe he might have fucked up.
"Eddie Munson is more of a man than you'll ever be Steve Harrington" he scoffs and
"Come on. I'm rich, can give you anything you want babe, we were good together" you shake your head.
"I dont give a fuck how rich you are, you completely shattered my heart, Steve! We were together for two years and the minute you get famous you string me along, sleep with models and then ditch me because I wasn't good for your fucking rockstar life"
Steve swallows and tries to think of something to say but he can't because you cut him off still ranting.
"You broke my heart and Eddie and our friends helped me heal and move on. Especially, Eddie, he was there for me every single day, held me when I cried, made me feel like I was worth something when I felt like absolute shit"
It's all coming out now and you feel good that you can get this all out in the open, built up anger and grief pours out of you.
"I finally asked myself after poring over photos of you surrounded by all your groupies and girls why the hell was I so upset over you!!"
He looks contrite now and doesn't make any attempt to say anything.
"I realised how amazing Eddie was, how sweet and kind and just gorgeous inside and out and I fell in love with him and he makes me happy. Happier than I ever was with you"
Steve storms out by that point fuming at what you said. He wanted to see Eddie and give him a piece of his mind.
❤️
Eddie didn't expect to see Harrington at his door, he was waiting for you to come home after your shift.
His fist tightens and he wants nothing more than to punch Steve in his perfect teeth.
"What do you want Steve?" Steve gives Eddie a long searching look and holds his hands up.
"Come on man. This is about yn and you know it. You and her? A loser like you. Yn deserves better. So why don't you step aside dude"
Disbelief then anger floods through Eddie and he walks up to Steve who looks a bit concerned.
"I dont have anything to prove to you, Harrington but for your information I own the biggest motor servicing unit in Indianna but it's great to see you're the same spiteful douchebag you've always been"
Steve takes a second and is ready to bite back with a retort but Eddie doesn't listen and glares at him.
"I dont give a fuck what you want Steve, you broke my girl's heart and your friends, me, Robin, Nancy, and Chrissy, fuck even Jason helped her heal. You had your chance and you blew it" Eddie takes a calming breath then makes his point clear.
"I won't make the same mistake you did, I assure you. I know how lucky I am and I will never ever hurt yn in any way. I love her, we are meant for each other. Back the fuck off and get out of my sight"
You come in at that point and see Steve, your eyes flash and you look murderous.
"Is he bothering you, baby?" you ask him and Eddie shakes his head.
"No, no he's leaving Princess" he assures you and you look pointedly at Steve who seems to get the hint and leaves.
Or so you think, you don't realise he's listening at the door.
❤️
Eddie looks at you his face pained and he swallows, he's tried not to let Steve's barbs get to him but it's hard.
"You know with Steve back. I could understand if you wanted to be with him, he was the love of your life"
You soften and stroke his cheek, gently kissing away the tears.
"I love you, Edward Munson, you're the love of my life. Not Steve. Only you. I don't want Steve back at all, he broke my heart and left me in pieces. You're who I want to be with, only you"
Eddie smiles and rests his head against yours his fears slowly easing.
"I love you so much. I'd never hurt you like Steve did sweetheart. I'm so fucking lucky to be with you" you kiss him fiercely.
"Pretty sure I'm the lucky one Eds"
Steve swallows as he watches the scene, watches how you look so happy with Eddie, the way he is head over heels for you and you him.
Jealousy courses through his body but he can't blame anyone but himself for losing you.
He was the idiot, he preferred time with groupies and models to you, he broke your heart and Eddie and your friends helped piece it back together.
He can't wait to get out of this fucking town and that's what he does after the gig, he drives out of the town, past the Leaving Hawkins sign and an array of emotions flit through him.
There's wetness on his cheeks and it stuns him. He pinches his nose hard to keep the tears at bay and it takes him a second to realise that it's the first time he's cried since you and him broke up.
It's stupid because he doesn't need you, he could have any girl he wanted.
It doesn't stop him from finally after all this time cursing his stupidity for losing you.
I feel her slipping through my fingers now she's gone. I'm sleeping with the light on.
And shocks went through my veins now, that she's gone.
I'm sleeping with the light on.
Song lyrics by Busted-Sleeping with the light on.
❤️
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kiwibongos · 1 month
Text
im thinking so loudly about ibuki and fuyuhikos friendship. i think i will explode
i dont see it ever really talked about honestly, they had so much potential together as a duo. even after everything fuyuhiko had done, he genuinely showed remorse for everything (by the whole slitting his abdomen open especially) and ibuki knew that, she understood it, so she went as far as to throw him a whole party for his recovery because she cares, she believes he can be a better person bc she is STUPIDLY optimistic about everything. fuyu must've thought he didnt deserve all that kindness
iirc, i even think at some point in dialogue, ibuki says to hajime she was gonna go find fuyuhiko to bug him, and GOD i love the thought of that. fuyuhiko just going off alone often thinking about shit (you know, The Horrors) cause its not like he had anyone— but then ibuki finds him and follows him around because she doesn't want him to be alone.
i think theyd slowly become really good friends just unfortunately off screen. i think ibuki would personally and deeply understand his kind of feeling of loneliness and not really fitting in/being normal, though it may be in different ways, ibuki must've had a tough life as well, so she would cheer him up about it. theyre both a little fucked up and silly, its what ties their bond
and dude you cannot tell me fuyuhiko didn't try to help the others while they were sick during ch3, but most notably ibuki in this case. she had done so much for him with the party, he wanted to return the favor, he wanted to keep her safe especially with how she was wandering out her room
but his efforts failed in the end. when she died, that mustve fucked him up so badly. like. for a while
he'd lost peko and natsumi, everyone hated him, but he didn't let it stop him from trying to be better. but now, he lost ibuki, just when they were getting close (AND hiyoko, who he was trying to make up with, AND mikan which hurt him too bc i think he cared deeply for her too and tried to help her overall during the disease ordeal to give back as well, but thats a whole other post), its like everyone was being taken away from him right at his feet. i feel like he'd just try to avoid people permanently from that point on. (which didnt work obvi bc akane and hajime flicked his forehead and said Hey Bitch I Love You) but anyway. god. it was too early for those three to go dammit
god i want more of ibuki and fuyuhiko i eat it up sm. their friendship is everything to me. i think ibuki would stick around with him in the restaurant at breakfast, and they'd run around the islands (fuyu would be as slow as a snail bc he's still healing lol), fuyuhiko would put up ibukis hair for her, and theyd perhaps even spend some time in the music venue just jammin to the same rock music.. god. just let them be together
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