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calif0rnia-lovers · 4 years

Text

i want you around.

song link incase you didn’t catch the vibe from the title.

Pairing: Frank Castle x Reader

Warnings: None. Just the return of soft Frank doing coupley shit when he’s not even in a “relationship”

Request: You convince to Frank to take a bath with you to help him relax.

Words: 2.3K

“I don’t see what the fuss is all about.”

Frank may not be as wound tight as he is on an average day, but he knows coming over here hopped up on sleep deprivation and mediocre diner food was not the smartest course of action. Even on a rare eight hours of sleep keeping up with you, when you’re in one of your moods, is a challenge.

In the time he’s known you, Frank has learned you have more than just one. Mood that is. For someone who’s favorite mantra is “I don’t wanna get your hopes up when I’m not the man you’re looking for” Frank is good at remembering the type of things a boyfriend should.

Strangely enough, he hasn’t quite figured out how to approach this situation. Each attempt he’s taken in the past has failed, miserably.

His least favorite of your moods is the one you’re in now. This is the one that leaves Frank Castle powerless. It can knock him on his ass quicker than any bullet slung his way.

Frank can take the ‘angry as fucking shit’ mood any day. He can take you laying into him for doing something stupid like showing up to the dinner to meet your friends, for the first time ever, with a fresh black eye and busted lip. He can take the “leave me alone but don’t leave me alone” mood. Comfortable silence is a favorite of Frank’s. On the flip, he can even handle your “my co-worker annoyed the living shit out of me today, so I need you to listen to my rant even if you’re watching the game” mood. He know its best to keep your wine rack stocked with your favorite de-stressor.

As he thinks about it, trying his best to read the room in your cramped apartment bathroom, Frank realizes his favorite is when you've missed him enough to allow him to latch onto you without protest.

If he’s being honest, that was the one he was hoping to find you in after a few days apart.

But...he didn’t, and Frank can’t stand the mood you’re in now.

His fingers comb through his hair, mind racing on a quick solution of getting you out of the “I worry he's giving in again" mood. When he stopped by your apartment this evening, way earlier than his usual 3 a.m. shuffling, Frank wasn’t expecting...this.

The problem with this mood is that you don’t actually say that you’re worried about him.

Frank can count on his hand the number of times you’ve physically used the word "worried" when speaking about him, at least to his face.

The "I worry he's giving in again" mood may be his least favorite, but Frank knows he deserves it. He knew you had every right to worry. You were there the last time he let Frank Castle take the back burner while the Punisher went on a rampage. It wasn't pretty.

It also took a lot longer for Frank Castle to return.

When you’re in this mood, you won't tell Frank what you're thinking. It's not that he won't listen. He will. Frank always listens to you. It's just that his seemingly dormant partner will only let him hear half of what you're saying.

Instead of long drawn out lectures, your eyes and movements do all the talking.

But honestly, Frank knew it was bound to happen soon.

The last time you’d seen him his knuckles were split open, the skin bloody and bruised. A walk in the park compared to the injuries you’ve seen on him before, but you knew the less damage to Frank the worse the result of his actions.

Frank’s eyes pass over the label on the purple bottle he’s retrieved from the sink, his hand rubbing against the back of his neck.

“...would it kill you to take a night off and relax like a normal person...” Your voice comes back into focus as he glances your way. “....this city is going to kill you, if you let it, Frank.”

“Lucky for you I’m not going down without a fight, sweetheart.”

The teasing smile on his lips earns Frank a pair of rolling eyes.

“Yeah, well...you should let me do this for you.” You huff as you readjust the knob. “Make up for all the hell you put me through.”

Frank studies the bottle in his hands before glancing back to you where you sit on the edge of the slowly filling tub.

He softly shakes his head, his chest rising and falling with a huff.

“Fine,” he murmurs, his brow furrowing as he attempts to make out the label before him. “The things I do for you.”

You shoot him a wink before dipping your hand in to test the water.

“Lavande de Haute-” His eyes roll as he lifts the bottle. “This crap probably wasn’t even made in France.”

“Whatever. It has lavender which is proven to have aromatherapy benefits such as relaxation.”

“Uh-huh,” Frank mumbles as he turns the bottle around and begins scanning the back. “Just let me have a beer I’ll relax just fine.”

You stick your hand out, your fingers wagging for his attention.

“Frank, give me the bottle.”

Shrugging off the sink, Frank passes the bottle over, his arms crossing over his chest.

Turning the bottle upside down, you give it a squeeze smiling as a generous amount of the contents slip into the water. The aroma hits Frank instantly, his now scrunching in distaste at the overpowering scent.

“Nah, I don’t need all that,” he says, the corner of his lips turning up as you glare at him before squeezing in more for good measure adding to the quickly forming bubbles.

“It’ll be fine,” you wave as you stand. Frank catches your hips the moment you’re upright. He guides your body forward until your hips press against his. The kiss he brushes against your lips drags your fingers through the locks at the nape of his neck. His nose brushes against yours, his brow arching as you lean back to meet his gaze. “I promise your superhuman powers will not dwindle. I might even be able to guarantee your survival because it is one bubble bath. You can make it, I have faith in you, Frank Castle.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he chuckles as you stand on your toes to place a quick kiss against his cheek. “Let’s get this over with.”

The triumphant smile on your lips pulls a grin to his.

“I love it when you give me what I want.”

Moving to tug his shirt over his head, Frank begins to undress as you sit the bottle back under the sink. He drops it into your outstretched hand.

“What’s next?” He chuckles as he watches you quickly fold the shirt. “Candles?”

“Of course, what am I? An amateur? Come on.”

“I was kidding,” Frank groans as your fingers interlaced with his.

Frank drags his feet as you lead him into the hallway, his hands finding your waist. Wrapping his arms around your waist, he makes it nearly impossible for you to walk. He presses a soft kiss against your neck, his chin resting against your shoulder as you pause outside of the hallway closet.

Opening the door, you take a moment to study the options listing them off as Frank concentrates on leaving kiss against your skin.

“Pink sands…Mahogany Teakwood...Sandalwood...Amber and Vanilla...Eucalyptus and Siberian Pine....”

When he doesn’t respond, you glance over your shoulder at him expectantly.

His deadpan expression cracks just a little before he huffs.

“Let’s try the Pine one.”

“Eucalyptus and Siberian Pine it is.”

Retrieving the candle, you push it into his hands before shutting the closet and turning down the hall.

Frank’s eyes widen as you disappear around the corner.

“There’s more?”

When you don’t respond, he follows you into the kitchen. His shoulder rests against the wall as you stand on your toes.

“The night is not perfect without.” Rifling through the cabinet, you turn to reveal two wine glasses. “A glass of wine.”

“I’d prefer something a little stronger than that, sweetheart,” he admits as you study the wine rack on your left. “What about that single malt from last time-”

“I thought you were doing this for me.”

You lift the bottle of Pinot Noir. Frank’s eyes roll, but the smile on his lips says it all.

“Trust the process, Frank.”

Frank begins to “trust the process” by focusing on lighting the candle while you cut off the water.

Sitting the candle aside, Frank lets his eyes pass over the ridiculous amount of bubbles on the surface of the steaming water.

“All we need are the rose petals,” you smile as you take in your masterpiece.

Frank chuckles, but the smile on your face makes him wonder if you’re serious.

“Okay, that’s taking it-”

“Kidding,” you smile as your hand finds his waistband. “Now. Get outta these pants, and get your butt in the tub.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Frank concentrates on undressing as you riffle through the contents under your sink. Leaving his clothes in a pile, he steps into the tub before lowering himself into the steaming water.

A sigh of approval escapes his lips as the heat engulfs him.

Even if he doesn’t admit it. The mixture of the heat and the scents swirling in the air force his muscles to relax.

You concentrate on uncorking the wine as he sinks deeper into the water. He rests against the back of the tub, his arms coming up to rest on the sides.

“Your wine,” you smile as you pause by the tub.

Frank accepts the glass, indulging you with a sip. His brow arches as he lets the flavor sink in. Taking another sip, he gives you a nod of approval before nodding towards the sink.

“Find what you were looking for?” He asks as you fill your own glass.

“I did, actually.” The mischievous grin that spread across your face causes Frank to shake his head with a chuckle.

“At this point, I’m fully trusting the process.”

“Good,” you smile as you retrieve a jar from the sink.

Taking a seat on the edge of the tub, you hold up the jar for Frank to read.

“Wild Berry & Honey Yogurt Recovery Mask.”

“Yeah, well maybe you should stop using your face as a punching bag.”

“Trust me, I try and avoid it,” Frank chuckles as you concentrating on applying the mask to his face.

“I’ll put one on too if it’ll make you feel better,” you tease as your fingers brush along the bridge of his nose.

“You could get in here with me,” he speaks quietly, his eyes remaining closed as you apply the remainder of the face mask. “That’ll make me feel better than any of this stuff.”

“Not yet,” you smile as he releases a huff. “Give me 10 minutes, and I’ll take this off for you.”

Frank settles in.

You’re pretty sure he nearly nods off with each passing minute. If you’d told earlier, Frank wouldn’t have believed that this would work, but the blue loofah you drag along his chest and shoulders lock him in a bubble of comfort. By the time you've removed the excess mask from his skin, Frank's glass is empty and he has a satisfied smile on his face.

“You gonna join me, sweetheart?”

"Depends...if you remember this is your time to relax."

Frank's brow furrow as you remain seated.

"The second you start trying to feel me up I'm getting out." You warn.

"That's the best way to relax," he chuckles as you begin to undress.

"I'm serious, Frank-"

"Yeah, yeah," Frank mumbles, his teasing coming out muffled as he leans over press a kiss against your thigh. A pout sets in as he watches you climb in the tub before moving to rest against the opposite end. Before you can get settled, the water threateningly sloshes as Frank sits up his hands grabbing yours.

"Come here," he adds a "please" when you resist.

You groan as he tightens his grip around your hands, gently pulling you forward. Giggles mask the sound of the sloshing water as Frank’s grip easily lifts you onto his lap. His hand finds the small of your back, his eyes watching as you take a sip of your wine. He leans forward bringing his mouth to your shoulder.

"There," he sighs as your arm wraps around his shoulders. Burrowing his face against the warmth of your skin, he smiles as your fingers toy with his hair. "Much better."

"Glad I could be of service."

Your giggles fill the air as your weight shifts forward. Frank drags your body with him as he rests back against the tub.

"You know,” he starts. He pauses as you take another sip of wine, your brow arching in anticipation. “This...Lavande de Haute stuff ain’t that bad.”

"I hate to say I told you so," you giggle as you set your glass aside. "But-"

"We both know you're the brains of this operation," he mumbles, placing a kiss against your lips.

You lean forward chasing his lips as he pulls away. Stealing a final kiss you allow your lips to press against the bridge of his nose. His eyes drift shut, his body relaxing beneath yours. Your lips travel along the bridge of his nose, passing beneath his eyes. He hums a groan of approval as your kisses move to his cheeks. You repeat the process before allowing your lips to press against the corner of his mouth.

"See what happens when you trust the process?"

A chuckle rumbles deep in his chest as his hand reaches up to catch the back of your neck. Nodding, he smiles softly as he guides your lips to his.

Your body relaxes against his as you grant him access to the one thing he's been wanting since his arrival. His grip remains firm. One hand pressed against the nape of your neck, his other massaging the curve of your hip. He kisses you softly, his tongue teasing yours until your fingers are knotted in his hair.

"Anything else left in this process?" Frank mumbles against your lips. "Because I'm ready to get you to bed."

#my favorite person to write for #let me know what you think?#frank castle #frank castle x reader #frank castle imagine #the punisher fic #jon bernthal imagine #the punisher imagine #frank castle imagines #frank castle fic

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maira-writes-shit · 3 years

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Salt, saltier, Yahaba and Shirabu

Haikyuu Yahaba Shigeru and Shirabu Kenjirou friendship

Fluff, mild angst, Yahashira childhood friends

Yahaba and Shirabu met when they were 8.Some may ask: How did that happen? Well this is the story:

Both of them had been dragged to a business dinner by their parents...

Shigeru’s parents were business people. That’s just what they were.Everything they did, they did it for business.

They got married for tax benefits and to combine their companies. Sure they did love each other but that wasn’t the main reason they got married.

They got children for image. They used them to seem closer to the „average family“, to try and seem more trust worthy and kind.

So that’s what he was here for.“And this is our son Shigeru.“,his mother said with a fake smile on her thin lips. She was talking to a small woman with copper hair. Something suddenly moved behind her legs and Yahaba tried to get a glance.

The woman took a step back and a boy with the same copper hair as the woman became visible.

He was a little bit shorter than Shigeru, had chocolate brown eyes and a pale complexion.

“Well this is Kenjirou!“, Shigeru’s mother put out her hand, she had to crouch down a little do to her wearing the heels that her son always wonder how she could even walk in, the boy -Kenjirou- took her hand and nodded to her.

The two women walked away chatting with equally fake smiles and cheerful voices, leaving their sons on their own.

The awkward silence between stretched out for multiple minutes until Kenjirou sighed.

“I’m Kenjirou Shirabu...“

“Well I know that.“, Shigeru whispered looking away.

“Hey jerk! I’m trying to talk to you!“ „Well you're not succeeding!“ „You’re talking to me, right?!“

Shigeru opened his mouth but shut it again.

He was right

The taller pouted.

“Why are you like this?“

“I’m trying to not fuck this up for my parents.“ at that Shigeru looked up at Kenjirou.

„What do you mean?“ „We just moved here and my dad says he needs friends under the other higher ups...“...“I’m Shigeru Yahaba. You’re the first other kid I’ve seen here.“

“Really?“ „Yeah. I only come along for the image.“„Well I guess we will probably have to cross paths a few more times so-“, Kenjirou extended a hand with a sly look on his face „-We should probably get along.“

Start

They were 11.

They had ended up on the same middle school.

Easy to say:The teachers both hated and loved them.

Both were smart and talented people and they knew it. And they abused it.

They didn’t pay attention in class and would always make snarky remarks only loud enough for each other to hear because they knew they could keep up.

Fun

They were 12.

“You know...I think I wanna join the volleyball club.“

Kenjirou looked up from his homework a bit startled.

“Huh?“ „I mean every time we play in gym class I just have so much fun and it makes me feel good! You know?“

Do I know? Yes I do know.

“I feel like I have the control yet at the same time I can play in a team!“

“I want to join too!“ „Really?!“ „Yeah! We can play together!“

Friendship

They were 14.

Sweat was dripping down Shigeru’s face.

24:23 for the other team...it seems useless...

The silver haired boy turns his face to his best friend.

I can’t do it. It’s too much.

Those thoughts wash away as soon as he sees him.

He was determined.

That’s what he admired the most about Kenjirou...he didn’t give up.

Shigeru was weak alone. All it took was a B on a test to send him spiraling but Kenjirou was always there.Kenjirou was his setter and Shigeru was his spiker.

They were feared for being able to know exactly what the other was thinking.

They were a threat.

Shigeru couldn’t do it on his own...but he wasn’t on his own.

Kenjirou was there and he was looking at Shigeru with that look of determination that always made him go though with all the shit they thought of.

They won.

Determination

They were 14.

This wasn’t normal.

He shouldn’t feel like this.

But he did.

Chikara Ennoshita.

The brown haired boy had been his and Shigeru’s friend since the start of middle school. He was smart, determined, kind and he was able to handle the combined salt level of both Shigeru and Kenjirou.

He had been his first real friend after Shigeru.

And now here he was...having a crush on him.

That’s all it was though: a crush. Still...he was a guy...This wasn’t right.

“Kenjirou? You ok?“

The copper haired boy jumped a bit at his best friends voice. He looked up and-“Shigeru I think im gay-“

Why did I say that? I never planned on telling anyone! Let alone Shigeru...what will he think of me now-?

“Same.“

“Wait what?“

“Well I’m not completely gay- I do also like girls...so bi? Maybe even pan or something...I don’t know yet.“

„Wait you aren’t surprised?“ „Shirababe...nothing about you staring at Chikas ass is subtle. Turn the horny down child!“ „I AM OLDER THAN YOU!“

“NO YOURE NOT! WELL AT LEAST NOT MENTALLY!“, Shigeru threw a pillow into Kenjirou‘s face.

The shorter got hit right in the face and let out a dramatic gasp while throwing the pillow right back.

“STOP WITH YOUR MENTAL SHIT, ASSHOLE!“

Acceptance

They were almost 16.

“Wait what?“

“I said I’m going to apply for Shiratorizawa.“

“But-we said we would got to Seijoh together!“

“Well there is still the possibility of me failing the exam because we both know I won’t get a sports scholarship.“

“Oh who are you kidding!? You are going to pass that exam with flying colors!“

“Well thank you.“

„KENJIROU YOU PROMISED!“

“I WAS LIKE 13!“

“YOU SAID- You said you won’t leave me alone...“

“Oh boo hoo! Little baby Yahaba can’t take being alone!“

Yahaba? He had never called me that...

“Well that may have to do with the fact that you always need to show me that your better than me in everything, Shirabu!“They stared each other down.

Sure they had had fights over the years but nothing quite like this.

There was so much to lose.

But also so much to gain.

I can’t do it. It’s too much.

Shigeru walked away.

Fear

They were 16.

Kenjirou had made it to Shiratorizawa.

He looked down at his test results with a grain of salt though.

He had passed with flying colors...just like he had said...

They hadn’t talked since their fight. They had graduated without a word to each other and now they were separated.

Shigeru got his test scores back some time ago, he would go to Seijoh after summer break.

Ennoshita would go to a different school as well.

Kenjirou‘s Heart hurt a bit at That thought as well. Not only was Chikara his only other real friend but Kenjirou also still had his stupid crush on him.

Kenjirou Shirabu was sitting in his room alone.

He was alone.

He had forgotten what that felt like.

Ever since that faithful day 8 years ago Shigeru- no Yahaba- had always been there somehow. Kenjirou had always seen him or texted him in some way and even when they were fighting he would always have Chikara to talk to.

But now both of them were gone.

Empty

They were 16.

Everything reminded them that the other wasn’t there.

It hurt.It hurt worse than when Yahaba got rejected by the girl he liked.

It hurt worse than Shirabu being beaten in his favorite subject.

It hurt more than the punches exchanged when they fought over something so seemingly little now that they forgot what it was.

How do you feel after the person you spent half your life with leaves?

Broken

Lost

Alone

They were 16.

„Yaha-Chan we Are playing a practice match today and I want to put you in.“

The dyed brown haired teen turned around a bit startled.

“But Oikawa-san I’m not even that good! I just started really playing this position! I can’t possibly-“ „Trust yourself more Yaha-chan!“

Yeah as if that’s so easy...Kenjirou was my setter and I was his spiker...I honestly just wanted to try this position but-

“I can see you overthinking Yaha-chan!“, Shigeru’s senpai snapped him out of his spiraling thoughts.

„You are a great setter Yahaba. Don’t forget that.“

The younger looked up from the ground.Instead of the usual sing songy voice of Oikawa those words were said with a kind yet very stern voice.

He cracked a little smile.

Change

They were 16.

Winning.

That was what he did all of this for.

Winning.

So this was being part of a real team, huh?

He only stood on the court for a few minutes but here he was...screaming, laughing and hugging his teammates.

The last time I was this happy I was with Shigeru-

The copper haired boy turned around to the other side of the net.

There he was.

Yahaba Shigeru was crouching over a third year crying on the floor.He went around giving everyone water bottles.

He hadn’t played.

He had sat on the bench observing and filling up water bottles.

Anger rose in Kenjirou. How could they not let him play? There was definitely more than one of the third year spikers that was way worse than Shigeru!

Why won’t they let him play?

Or did he choose to not play?

Did they think they could win against Shiratorizawa and then use him as a secret weapon?

What was up with him?

He was slapped on the back by his senpai, their setter Semi Eita.

One eye contact was all Semi need to check up on him...

One eye contact and he could feel himself falling.

He wanted to tell Shigeru.

Longing

They were 16.

Loss.

That was the worst part about this.

Losing.Shigeru was on his bed looking up at the ceiling, like he and Kenjirou used to do when they told story’s till 2am.

His phone pinged.

Bangsie:

“Heh“, Shigeru smiled. He had forgotten to reset the nickname.

What does he want though? Rub his win under my nose? Tell me how much better than me he is again?

He picked up his phone anyways.

Bangsie: Shigeru we need to talk...same place

Same place.

Shigeru knew what he meant by that.

When his older brother was younger their parents had bought him a little treehouse at the outskirts of the woods not far from the Shirabu residents.

They would go there when Shigeru‘s little brother was being noisy, they wanted to get away or they just didn’t feel safe enough at home.

The Fake brunette sighed and put on his shoes.

Fixing

They were 16.

He came.

They sat in silence.

Until The copper haired boy broke the silence: „I’m sorry.“

„I know I made a promise and I knew what it meant to you but-“„No no I get it! Shiratorizawa fits your needs as a person and for your future more...I was being selfish.“

“But you had all right to be! Your brother left you behind and he was the only one there for you, I did the same!“

“Don’t fucking blame yourself for my problems!“

They stared at each other down for a good minute until they broke and they ended up hugging and crying.

The next hours were spent catching up.

Shigeru learned about Kenjirou’s crush on his upperclassman Semi.

Kenjirou learned about a guy named Kyoutani that absolutely drove Shigeru crazy and now even quit.

He also learned that Shigeru had switched to being a setter.

The night ended like many nights in the treehouse ended: with them curled up in blankets falling asleep on each other.

Home

They were 17.

I need to get better. I need to work harder. I can’t stop-

„Yahaba!“

The ball dropped on the other side of the court and he turned around to see his spiky haired senpai Iwaizumi.

“You are overworking yourself, Yahaba...“ „Oh I’m sorry I didn’t-“ „Oh no you know exactly what you’re doing! I already have one of you dumbasses!“, he looked at Oikawa, standing in the door talking to a few fan girls.

“Don’t freak out too much, ok?“, he sounded concerned...

“I’ll try, Iwaizumi-san!“

Shigeru hurried out of the locker room.

He was late to his and Kenjirou’s weekly movie night!

While he was mentally crossing all the things in his bag off a list as to not forget what to bring the boy ran into someone...and crashed to the ground.

“Hey watch were your going!“ the guy he bumped into only gave a little growl as answer.Kyoutani.

Of course it was Kyoutani.

“You’re good...“ came a little murmur from besides him where Kyoutani had apparently set off into the same way as him home.

Shigeru raised an eyebrow.

“You’re a good Player...“ Shigeru shoot around at that.

“Wh-what? You t-think I’m a g-good player?“

“I mean yeah...“Shigeru could feel a flush creep up his cheeks.

Wait what? Im supposed to hate him! He quit the team! But...

Diffrents

They were 17.

“This arm has to be a bit higher.“

Kenjirou was maybe having a so called gay panic.

Semi was too close. He was also correcting his form and touching him in all these places- Kenjirou couldn’t do this.

He threw the ball into the air, jumped and smashed that ball to the ground.

“Not so bad-Not so bad! But there is still some things you need to work on.“

“Well I wanna see you do a jump serve.“, he whispered.“As you wish, Shirabu my highness.“ The older said with a little bow before he got up to serve.

Kenjirou refuses to admit that his heart danced a little cha cha cha when Semi said his name.

The ash blond threw the ball up into the air, the perfect hight, he took two large steps and leaped into the air and finally his hand made contact with he ball and hit the ground with a beautiful thudh.

Kenjirou stood in awe for a few minutes before he excused himself to the bathroom.

Beauty

They were 17.

The ball dropped.

They lost.

Again.

Shiritorizawa won.

Again.

Again

They were 17.

They were sitting in the treehouse again.

„You guys played really well you know...“The copper haired boy looked over at his best friend and found the tear rolling down his face.

Neither one of them have ever been good at putting their feelings into words so all Kenjirou did was hold him.

Hold him while he crys.

Emotions

They were 17.

Karasuno.

Every point was a battle for power.

Yahaba got to play again...

He got to feel the ball in his hands again...

He made points!

He let the ball drop...This was his fault.

He thought he could be better, he thought he could finally face off against Kenjirou but no.

He was still weak.That’s all he was.

Weak

They were 17.

“This will be our first practice match with you as captain Shirabu.“, Kenjirou’s Coach looked at him. „You can do it.“

The new captain smiled and walked behind his team again.

“Hello and welcome at Seijoh!“ a familiar voice said. Kenjirou smiled.

“It’s a pleasure to win agains you.“

“Hahaha win? Yeah sure! We will stomp you to dust, Shirabu.“

“Game on, Yahaba.“

“Well what do we have here?, a singsongy voice said from behind Shigeru.

Oikawa Tooru

To be continued

#haikyuu #haikyuu!!#my fanfiction #haikyuu fanfiction #yahashira #yahaba shigeru #shirabu kenjirō

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regrettablewritings · 3 years

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Animatic/Storyboard Music

Got bored/procrastinate-y on coloring in this ultra intricate card for my mom. So I’m just gonna make a list of songs I think make for good animatic material. Because why not/I wanna foist my musical tastes on people/ @locke-writes got me in a music binge. For the most part, it’s just gonna be me explaining the meanings or the vibe or what they generally tend to be used for, but really it’s mostly subjective so imaginate whatchu wanna.

“Trust Me” - The Devil’s Carnival Originally depicting a story about the Scorpion and the Frog, it’s the perfect song for when you want to depict the dynamic between a gullible or at the very least more grounded character and a figure whose intentions . . . may be less than pure. Or good for anyone, really.

“The Dismemberment Song” - The Blue Kid I have a playlist dedicated to songs whose content and sound are just . . . not married to one another, but got a weird flirtationship situation going on. Anyway, I’ve seen people say that they like to imagine it’s sung through the POV of a scorned housewife who’s finally Had Enough™️. And . . . They’re really not wrong for it. Really, though, it’s just the right song for when a sadist is just ready to gut a fucker but is disturbingly jolly about it.

“Love Me Dead” - Ludo Continuing with my trend of songs about people in less than ideal situations, “Love Me Dead” is straight to the point: The relationship is just awful and the guy gets nothing from it, but he can’t help but be hopelessly in a state of adoration for the woman he’s latched on to (“You’re born of a jackal! YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL!!”)

“Constellations” - The Oh Hellos There actually isn’t a plot to this song, it just feels really good (as all songs by The Oh Hellos are prone to be). However, if you feel a need to portray the concept of having to reorganize your thoughts after realizing that maybe they weren’t what you initially thought, and then coming to the conclusion that even though everything changes as a result, you’ll be alright? This is the song for you.

“A Kindling of Sorts” - The Oh Hellos An instrumental piece that is like . . . It’s related to another song of theirs about nationalism called “Torches”, so make of that what you will. (I personally have been using it to imagine storyboarding an opening for an animated The Witcher series.)

“The Other Side” - The Greatest Showman I know everyone and their mom has used this to portray situations like villains trying to get good guys to join their side. But I dun curr, it’s a fun song. That, and I like what Emilyamio did with her interpretation. It’s fun. For a basic rundown, know it’s another song about two characters’ dynamics being explored, with one coming to the other with a proposal that they join them in whatever endeavors they have in store. It’s often portrayed as something evil, but it really doesn’t have to be, as the original context was more about letting loose than anything.

“The Thief and the Moon” - Shawn James A much more mellow piece. Simple and straight to the point: A thief tells the Moon that he plans on stealing her light to shade the world in darkness. The Moon insists that the thief would only doom the world by doing so, to which the thief clarifies that he doesn’t care; if the world is shrouded in shadow, it means he will be able to steal with more ease (“My very existence is a race to attain wealth”). Disgusted, the Moon essentially curses the man with a warning that his greed can and will bring about his end -- and leave him to be forgotten by the rest of mankind, once it happens.

“Villainous Thing” - Shayfer James I’ve seen people say that this song is about singing to a cadaver but I can’t quite find anything confirming that (translation: I’m too lazy to look too into it). Regardless, it’s a fun ditty that yet again portrays someone with less than pure intentions encouraging someone to join him in some good old fashion villainy, as they’ve clearly endured their fair share of hardships and surely wanted to do evil anyway (“You’ll find no ever after here, it’s clear that isn’t what you came for“).

“Necromancin Dancin” - Bear Ghost Straight forward and fun as fuck: A necromancer apparently seems to cross classes and try his hand at barding by not only raising an army of the dead, but by also making them dance in order to make conquering the world easier. Because . . . a body doing Disco Duck isn’t scary, I guess.

"Aquaman” - Walk the Moon A song about one half of a couple wanting to become more involved in their relationship, but still having some nervousness about doing so. If you somehow haven’t heard this song yet, you gotta because it’s the cutest shit.

“Jenny’s Tale” - Ren I’ll be brutally honest, it’s about a woman named Jenny who just wants to get home after a long day of work and an unfortunate encounter with a 14 year old named Screech who gets way in over his head. As in, like, a death happens. That being said, I need. Like. An animated music video of this song. I imagine this shit in gritty charcoal or painted on glass, it just needs this. Somebody who isn’t me who knows what they’re doing, please look into this.

“The Curse of the Fold” - Shawn James As cheesy as it sounds, it basically boils down to not giving up or yielding. But what makes it so cool is the fact that Shawn James makes all his songs basically sound like a western gothic soundtrack. Which helps, because he admits that the title is also a reference to poker, in which giving up too often or too easily can often rob you of a delicious reward gained through perseverance and sacrifice.

“Thank God I’m Not You” - Himalayas I prefer to imagine this for an arrogant asshole of a character. Because that’s exactly what this song is about: They’re a liar and a thief, they’ve been called the son of Satan, and yet they consider themselves lucky -- ‘cause at least they ain’t you! If you have a character in mind who’s a delightful, punchable little shit, this is probably either their anthem or at least on the playlist you inevitably made for them.

"Passerine" - The Oh Hellos So there’s a common trend in The Oh Hellos’ discography that tends to explore the two founders’ experiences with faith and their growth in how they understand it or recognize it. With “Passerine”, the concept being explored is the experience they had when it came to taking a step back and realizing just how many of their supposed “fellow Christians” were actually doing some rather unchristian things, so to speak. When they “prune[d] their feathers”, it became clear that they had less in common with certain people proclaiming to be Christian while also spouting bigotry and greed. However, the desire to move away from such influences comes with the feeling of being torn, as moving too far away from the Bible leaves the singer feeling as though she is betraying something she holds dear. As a result, “Passerine” symbolizes not a breakage from faith, but a breakage from blind faith as they understood it, and the inevitable feeling of being torn that comes along with expanding upon how one views their beliefs and those around them. It’s therefore not uncommon to see Good Omens animatics using this song. (Something I also noticed is that throughout the song, you hear pieces of “Constellations”. TOH have a tendency to reference previous pieces, and considering “Constellations” is a song about changing perspective and the meanings we apply to them, it fits in beautifully with a song about reevaluating one’s stance.)

“Like the Dawn” - The Oh Hellos As stated before, a lot of TOH’s discography draws inspiration from their faith. In this case, it’s an outright retelling of the Garden of Eden, specifically when Adam awoke to find Eve had been created. What makes this iteration stand out to most, however, is that the singer is female, which seems to change the vibe you get. It sweetens the feeling of wonder we often forget the first man might’ve felt upon seeing somebody made for him, creating an air of beauty yet comfort with such lines as “And like the dawn, you broke the dark and my whole earth shook” or “You were the brightest shade of sun I had ever seen.” Even without the awareness or an interest in religious influences, it still manages to be a very feel-good song -- which is the mark of an overall good song in general!

“Confession” - RED Dealing with the constant battle of feeling ashamed that how you feel on the inside isn’t in sync with how you present yourself on the outside. That you should feel bad for smiling out at the world while screaming and thrashing -- like it’s a lie. But you can’t help it: It’s what you’re accustomed to. Though it does end on a hopeful note with the singer deciding that they want to reach out for help and rid themselves of this feeling of pain they have inside.

“When I Grow Up” - Matilda . . . Only if you want to cry. Seriously. When you’re a kid, everything seems difficult but you’re positive that once you grow up, everything will change: You’ll be tall enough to climb the trees you were too small to, you’ll be able to carry everything because you’re stronger, you’ll be brave enough to fight the monsters hiding in your room, you’ll finally have all the answers. . . . But life isn’t that simple. We wish it were, but it isn’t. There’s this bittersweetness about this song, about a sense of purity we unfortunately grow out of where we think things will be just the same enough for us to do what we want when we want, but things are more complicated than that. We still struggle to reach, to bear the weight, to not be afraid, to have even a fraction of the answers. But! We’re reminded that just because we’re told life isn’t fair, doesn’t mean we have to take it. After all, nothing changes when nothing happens. And even beyond that? It helps to remember that we’re never quite done growing up; there’s always more to learn, so remember to be patient with yourself.

“Hand Me My Shovel, I’m Going In!” - Will Wood and the Tapeworms This is . . . a song. The lyrics are honestly kinda all over the place and shooting rapid fire, making it a bit difficult to discern what exactly the singer is going on about. It makes for a pretty crazy song that suggests somebody’s going unhinged, which is apparently precisely the intention?? I’ve seen a lot of people interpret this as a song about a guy who is already at a low point in his life but nonetheless is going, “. . . I bet I can go deeper. Hand me my shovel.”

“No Reason” - Beetlejuice God if i had a youtube channel the segment i would spend on this song would be so juicy just ripe and thicc with thoughts and feelings i tell ya rich like a fresh fatty peach the apple that tempted Eve and gagged Adam yes ‘Nother song that explores the dynamic between two differing people and their worldviews. At its simplest, “No Reason” is about two opposite ends of a spectrum coming to a head: Idealistic and hippie-dippy Delia is convinced that everything happens for a reason, while cynical and depressed Lydia asserts that everything happens at random and it doesn’t matter anyway because we’re all going to die. And even though the delivery is ultimately a comedic one, you get more insight as to why one another feels the way that they do: Lydia, as we’ve previously learned, has recently lost her mother to an illness, which has left her depressed and feeling invisible (a theme in the show); whereas Delia’s failed marriage and desperate attempts to nonetheless be happy have left her dependent on the idea that these things had to have happened for a reason, otherwise, her pain would’ve been for nothing. What’s important is that neither side is actually appointed as the winner, with the song ultimately ending that the universe is random for a reason.

“Barbara 2.0″ - Beetlejuice Without spoiling anything (or at least too much), “Barbara 2.0″ is about growth. It’s about learning to put your foot down after a literal lifetime of being passive out of fear of what might happen and just accepting that nothing will happen if nothing happens -- but that doesn’t make whatever happens good.

“Bleed Magic” - IDHKBTFM It’s either about a killer or a vampire. No, seriously: When Dallon Weekes was asked about what the story of the song was, that was his answer. I personally prefer to think of it as a vampire or demon of some kind, given that the song came out around Halloween. Perfect for yet another example of somebody (likely supernatural) having an upper hand on an unsuspecting mortal. ...I have way too many of these on this list, I swear I don’t have a problem —

“Feel Good Drag” - Anberlin A toxic relationship of sorts. In that it shouldn’t be a relationship to begin with. Depicts the singer being approached by an ex, who seeks a one-night stand while her current boyfriend is out of town. However, the singer is aware that trying to continue anything regardless of the situation is a moot point: Even when they were together, their relationship was doomed from the start, and nothing about that is going to change -- especially now.

“Soviet Trumpeter” - Katzenjammer (It’s kinda difficult to work with this one but I’ve seen people work with less or stranger.) Based off the life of one Eddie Rosner, a Jewish Polish trumpeter whose fame within the USSR unfortunately faded due to the Soviet Union’s heavy censorship. Even if nothing is to be done with it, it still paints a melancholic picture of a talented man’s skills being largely unknown as a result of things beyond his control. All wrapped up in a song that denotes a strange deterioration in a way I can’t quite place.

“Apple Blossom” - The White Stripes On its face, it’s a very sweet song: The singer encourages his beloved to be vulnerable enough with him to tell him her troubles and to let him “sort them out for [her]”. She’s clearly saddened, and seeing so distresses him to where he insists that he will do whatever he can to make her happy. However, the tone of the song and certain lines make it easy to twist into yet another song of a character attempting to seduce somebody into a state of vulnerability . . .

“You’ve Got Possibilities” - It’s a Bird, It’s a Plane, It’s Superman The one singular song people actually liked from this forgotten musical. Perfect for when somebody intends on giving somebody else a makeover. Y’know, after totally roasting them on their posture and clothing. If you want to add a lil something extra, know that the context is that a lady wants to give Clark Kent a makeover, insisting that in spite of his schlubby appearance, there’s gotta be something underneath. I repeat: She is telling this to Clark freaking Kent.

“Still” - Anastasia In the context, the show’s antagonist (not bad guy, there’s a difference) finds himself torn between obligation and personal interest: Does he fulfill his duty and live up to expectations set upon him by his father and the society he’s been selected to help uphold? Or does he let a woman he has become fond of go? Is she truly as innocent as she claims? Or is she well aware of what she’s doing? And every time he thinks he’s reached a conclusion, he can’t help but thing, “But still . . .” Good for when you want to portray a character conflicted between obligations of politics and what their heart wants.

“Two Nobodies in New York” - [title of show] Two young men plan on entering an upcoming theatrical festival but struggle with what to even submit. This song in particular focuses on them trying to figure out what to even write, the concept of fame, and if wanting the certain things that may come with fame can mean anything from being sell-outs to getting a sitcom. It’s admittedly specific, but it’s a cute and funny interaction between two guys who are, for the most part, actually in sync with their thoughts and anxieties. For the time being.

“Into the Unknown” - Idina Menzel Look, I refuse to watch that movie. I just do. But I will take this song over That Other One any day. Mostly because I personally like to imagine that the singer in this song is about to embark on a Pixaresque journey after accidentally leaving her home during the night of The Wild Hunt, accidentally separating her spirit from her body and thus giving her a very limited time to get back to it before she remains a soul trapped in a whirlwind of ghosts forever. But first: Let’s sing about that strange howling that coaxes her so.

“You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid” - The Offspring I sure do long songs that can characterize a shithead . . . Anywho! The smoothest way to go is just to portray some cocky, manipulative shit who’s used to just lying and cheating their way to get what they want before slipping away without any consequences -- to a point. There’s the option of portraying the betrayer’s comeuppance, but there’s also the frustratingly delicious option of just letting them get away with whatever to lie another day.

“Why Should I Worry” - Billy Joel When in doubt, go to earlier Disney. Because like it or not, they had some bops. And when in the need of portraying a happy-go-lucky (probably idiotic) doofus and his more neurotic or cynical friend going about their life with the former just Mr. Magooing it while the latter suffers more realistic consequences? You go with this song. If you want. That’s just me.

“Transformation” - Brother Bear For when you want to invoke a mystical or otherworldly feeling. There’s really not much more I can say except to encourage you to listen to it and watch the scene if you can find it. You’ll get the vibe.

“No Girl’s Toy” - Raggedy Ann and Andy: A Musical Adventure It’s a big shame this movie is relatively unknown and never got a proper VHS release or anything -- mainly because the music in this cult classic is definitely stuff I could see becoming standards. I could see people performing “I Never Get Enough” for little shows, or recycling “Blue” for a different show. Thankfully, somebody was able to upload a clear enough sounding recording of “No Girl’s Toy”, so at least we have that. In context (just...follow me on this), Raggedy Ann’s brother, Raggedy Andy, has had enough of being subjected to “girly things” while in the nursery. Additionally, though, the way the song was written means it can also be interpreted as just a guy who refuses to let himself be yanked around regardless of how thick the sugar being laid on him is. . . . If you wanna poke fun as a character for trying to appear tougher than what he is, here’s the song. (That being said, Andy is a sweetheart at the end of the day. No amount of tough-fronting will hide that.)

“I Enjoy Being a Girl” - Flower Drum Song (It is by sheer coincidence that this song follows the above.) Really, it’s exactly what it says on the tin: The singer enjoys being a girl and what all it entails for her. She loves her feminine form, she loves the attention she gets, she loves dolling herself up, she loves frilly dresses, and she hopes to one day marry a guy who enjoys “having a girl like [her].” And honestly? Good on her! Love whatcha love, lovely! Seriously, though, it’s a cute song for anyone who just wants to indulge in some girliness.

“Chip on My Shoulder” - Legally Blonde Come on: It’s Legally Blonde. You know what this bop is, or at least have an idea of it. But since I love this song, I’ll indulge: Disheartened by her failure to both win back her ex and succeed in the fast-paced environment of Harvard, the normally bright-eyed Elle is ready to call it quits. That is, until junior partner Emmett gets involved. Unimpressed by her story, Emmett reveals that he got to where he was by busting his ass due to having a chip on his shoulder from his rough beginnings — and maybe a chip on the shoulder is exactly what Elle needs to survive. And as somebody driven by spite, I can appreciate that kind of message. Anywho, it all in all is a song about growth and learning how to be “driven as hell” to keep up with an opportunity that may not be easy to take, but is not one to be passed by.

“What Do I Need with Love?” - Thoroughly Modern Millie “What Do I Need with Love?” asks exactly that: He could date a different girl every night of the week if he so wanted, and never once had any desire to go steady before. He considers himself lucky to have never fallen for anyone -- until now. Which he’s not! He’s not in love. ...He totally is and, by his own admission, he’s got it bad it’s terribly adorable.

“Interlude IV” - Zach Callison The entire album is actually a narrative about a failed relationship of Callison’s and I’m sure the other songs are just as great fuel for animatics -- I’m just too caught up on listening to this one over and over. Sometimes, we just wanna listen to Steven Universe cuss and be openly furious. Seriously, though, even without the context of the rest of the story, you get the idea well enough: A spiteful Zach decides to get back at the one that broke his heart in such a painful way, whereas a well-meaning friend insists they just leave it be and move on. While this technically would be the better and healthier option, Zach is just too far gone with rage to let it go and decides to take care of things by himself.

“Evermore” - Beauty & the Beast Look, I know the remake wasn’t anything crazy. But also I don’t honestly care too terribly much. Besides, this song was nice and it really gets me after that key change. We all want a royal doofus to be enamored enough with us to let us go for our own happiness but still know that their life will forever be changed because they met us. Animate that shit. Over and over.

goddamn this list is long lemme just stop this now byyyyeeeee

#long post #boop #music post #sorta

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sparkywanderer · 3 years

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Parallels in SK8 The Infinity: Why Renga will (probably) get a happy ending

So uh. I had a ton of thoughts after the recent episode. So I wrote a thing about parallels and stuff and not gonna lie it’s kinda long (I get sidetracked like 5 times and have not edited this to be concise so it’s really bad???). Here it is, though, if you would like to read my rambling anyway!

Spoilers for Episode 8

Sk8 really likes its parallels. Whether it be how many times it likes to group Langa and Adam together as the “talented ones” or equals or whatever, or how the writers put Cherry/Joe and Adam’s separation with Langa and Reki’s in episode 7 practically back-to-back, it’s clear that they’re all tied up together in some specific way. Not only that, but Miya’s story of losing his friends due to his skateboarding talents rings eerily similar situation-wise to how Reki isolates himself from Langa due to the latter’s talents (though of course there are major differences and such, but other posts could probably explain way better than me so let’s ignore that for now).

Episode 8 adds another parallel to the mix with the reveal that Tadashi actually taught Adam skateboarding in the first place, because well, guess who taught Langa skateboarding? Guess who else enables the skateboarding of someone else, in Tadashi’s case handling Adam’s other work as a secretary and driving him in/out of S, and in Reki’s case building a skateboard for Langa? And not only that, but guess who else is compared to a dog (albeit more for the sake of a bet than anything)? Think back to the whole bet with Miya.

(I think there’s a manga panel that shows that Langa sorta thinks of Reki as similar to one too, but I’m too lazy to find it tbh)

Tadashi and Adam’s relationship is still a little unclear from episode 8, so there definitely could be more of these parallels, but what we do know is this: these are both pairs that were very, very close, sharing a mutual love for skateboarding, before eventually drifting apart as one became far more engrossed in the sport than the other to the point of danger. The writers portray this through Langa’s incredibly high speeds in Episode 7, and the flashbacks of Adam getting into highly dangerous situations with other people which cause them to get badly injured. Both of them don’t fear the thrill of this wild style of skateboarding, enjoy it even, while others like Reki, Cherry Blossom and Joe clearly do-- setting them apart as similar people, as Adam remarks. Langa mirrors Adam and Reki mirrors Tadashi, which bleeds into their equally mirrored relationships.

Going more in depth on Reki and Tadashi specifically, both of them are not the best at communicating their feelings. In Reki’s case, he bottles up all of his doubts and anxieties about his relationship with Langa until they eventually culminate into one scene and force them apart. In Tadashi’s, he doesn’t stand up against Adam’s father about letting him continue to skateboard even when he clearly wishes to. They’re different, of course, but both of them are clearly the type to put a mask over how they actually feel: in Reki’s case with an “It’s nothing!”, and in Tadashi’s case with an “I have no opinions”.

(One of the few times smiling Reki brings me Suffering instead of serotonin)

But what’s the point of this all? What’s the point of drawing out all these random connections between Adam and Langa, and Tadashi and Reki? The purpose isn’t showing the similarities, but the differences. Given everything that’s similar, it’s a lot easier to see what’s distinct, and in my opinion that is what will ultimately set these two relationships apart.

Because here’s the thing: Langa actually cares about Reki. Even if they’re so different in terms of skateboarding skill level (which is not necessarily true, but that’s a whole other thing), Langa cares enough about Reki to not leave him behind. The writers blatantly show this in Episode 6, when Langa stays behind and looks for Reki despite the tantalizing offer of a race with a bunch of very talented skaters right in front of him. (It could be argued that he DOES take the offer instead of focusing on Reki by breaking the promise with Reki in episode 7, but the thing is he also assumes Reki will understand and still support him, clearly surprised at his reaction, so it’s not really the same.)

Meanwhile, just think about what Adam does to Tadashi when he’s so focused on his stupid tournament, in contrast. Using him as a scapegoat for his own goals with no shame whatsoever.

(someone free this man. someone free this man please)

Not only that, though, but his passion for skateboarding isn’t just in the sport itself, but a major part of it is the people he spends time with. Before with snowboarding, it was his father, and when he was gone Langa stopped finding joy in that sport altogether. And now it’s Reki who’s gone, and he’s quickly realizing skateboarding that no longer brings the same thrill that it used to-- as made evident with the sudden shift to snowboarding in that scene, and the absence of his heart beating quickly, which could represent a lot of things but the point is he’s not having fun. Oh wait, that's another parallel.

On the other hand, Adam accepts that he’ll leave some people behind with his talents, dismissing them as unworthy rather than taking the time to actually try and recognize any flaws within himself or his way of thinking. This is perfectly exemplified in the first scene of Episode 8, where he shows little to no concern whatsoever over someone he’d been considering a possible match just a couple of seconds ago. Because it’s as he says: to him, when the perceived “distance” between two people is too great, to the point where it is “unreachable” for one of them, there can be no “real love”.

(oh yeah they both have blue hair too i guess)

But remember, Langa’s not like that. He isn’t willing to so easily give up on Reki like that, as seen with how he consults his mother for advice and still constantly checks to see if he’s there to talk to. He’s not going to so callously give up on him like Adam does with those he skates with, because his version of love isn’t nearly as twisted as his. Instead, he’s going to try and fix things, “repent and make efforts” (though of course neither of them are entirely at fault here), and communicate, as foreshadowed by the latest episode.

Reki, on the other hand, doesn’t show as many signs of wanting to try and reconnect with Langa, as of Episode 8 anyway. But I still have faith in him, because he seems to be having some doubts given his actions-- and more than that, remember what Cherry was talking about when he found him, words that he probably at least kind of listened to! Eventually he’s going to realize that he’s cut off a really good relationship for the wrong reasons, and he’ll have to apply some of these teachings and make efforts to actually communicate once he begins to realize it.

(Also, just take a moment to appreciate the bi calligraphy.)

So what can we take away from all this? Adam said Langa was the same type of person as himself. And sure, maybe that’s true in some ways, but it’s not entirely, and if the anime wants to have any clear thematic messages about relationships, it will most definitely reflect the results of their differences one way or another. At the very least, Reki and Langa will not turn out like Adam and Tadashi did. Because what’s the purpose of constantly comparing and contrasting characters in eerily similar situations, if their differences don’t have any actual effect on the story and the message that it’s ultimately attempting to convey, especially in a short 12 episode anime?

But anyways, if you actually did read this far for some reason, thank you! If I missed anything, you wanna add anything else, or just idk talk about this anime in general, let me know :D

(TLDR: Adam and Langa are sort of similar but also really different because the latter cares for Reki, so therefore this is yet another sports anime that will probably be about the power of friendship/love, and I Pretend I Do Not See whatever death flags there are for Langa I DO NOT SEE THEM!!!)

#sk8 the infinity #sk8 the infinity analysis #not me wriitng a whole fucking essay on this skateboarding anime...#im probably just reading too much into things as usual aha #sidenote: rewatched episode 7 as I wrote this and can confirm it was Not any less painful than the first time I watched it #seriously though this is a comedy sports anime. no ones gonna die. right haha #tbh idk what the point of all of this was when y'all probably already know that but MAN am i hyperfixating hard on this show #and im gonna make it everyones problem #(sorry)#sk8 spoilers #reki kyan #(my beloved)#langa hasegawa #i am in no way qualified to do this analysis by the way sorry for that too #anyways the moral of the story is idk what im doing don't take this too seriously

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shinygoku · 4 years

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Liar Revealed! A Bug’s Life Essay

A Bug’s Life is my favourite Pixar movie and thus, it turns out I have a lot of thoughts about it. In this case, what was originally my interpretation soley in response to points I’ve seen raised on YouTube and TV Tropes has spun off into this mega essay.... all focused on a single scene.

But hey, it works with one of the film’s main messages; that something big grows out of a small idea!

The scene is the most notorious in the movie, at least from what I’ve seen, and I’m inclined to agree it’s the weakest part of this giant clock. But why is it like that and how could it have been handled better?

As I’ve said, this is actually my favourite (albeit not what I consider their very best) of Pixar’s output, and I wouldn’t have been able to go into such depth without a huge amount of love for the finished product, flawed as it may be.

It’s also possible I’ll write a more generalised thing on what I love about the film in the future, but I won’t promise anything o7;; 🐜

The Lie is ...laid

Actually, I should talk about two scenes. First is where the Lie is established:

After the humourous mutual misunderstanding between the Circus Bugs and Flik, the former are quite horrified to discover they’re expected to fight the Grasshoppers off themselves instead of putting on a show. Ahh, that old classic~

But no, they want out and Flik, who has just been informed by them during the welcoming shindig, is understandably rattled and despairing over this addition to his list of failures. He says the fallout will not only brand him, but his hypothetical grandchildren as a Terrible Loser and even says he’s as good as dead as soon as the other ants find out. Owch.

Before things get too heavy, the focus shifts around until The Bird becomes the main immediate threat. The whole Bird scene leads the ants to become convinced the Circus Bugs are really amazing warriors and, as this is the first time in what could be years that they have a crowd cheering for them it’s the success and Flik’s later idea to make a Giant Mech in the shape of a Bird instead of planning any actual combat that convinces them to play along.

So, that’s the lie set up and solidified. Now for the eventual fallout:

During a fun party after the Bird has been built, an ominous force arrives... PT Flea, the Jerkass ringmaster who had fired the Circus Bugs. This local bug promptly ruins everything by literally shining a light on the Circus Bugs and their nature as such, and then Flik is accidentally outed as the Guy Who Thought Up The Bird.

The Liar Revealed Trope

I would link the TV Tropes article here, but as tungle doesn’t like external sites I’ll just quote the more relevant parts from it:

“Liar Revealed in the Internal Reveal of The Lie, the facade maintained by a protagonist which provides the primary dramatic tension for the plot. This usually sets up the third act where the protagonists are forced to deal with the consequences of the lie on top of any external threats.

There are a few usual ways this ends up. If the lie was for selfish reasons, the protagonist will doubtless face the wrath of those he lied to, but along the way end up having a change of conscience, and try to redeem themselves through good acts and An Aesop about "what really matters". If the lie was well-intentioned, the protagonist may still find that others turn their backs on him, but go on to carry through with what they said they'd do anyway, proving themselves a hero after all.

It's worth noting that this trope is particularly easy and common to misuse, either in the tendency of the protagonist to Maintain the Lie for reasons that make no sense except for dramatic tension or of the deceived to turn against the protagonist for the deception in spite of other considerations that should by all rights absolve him.”

And in the folder there’s a specific entry for this film:

A Bug's Life has Flik supposedly finding "warrior bugs" to save his colony after misconstruing a situation. When he realizes his mistake (that they're circus performers rather than trained warriors), he's forced to keep the lie going in order to not cause panic among the other ants. Once the colony finds out, it inevitably results in one of the most painfully Played Straight examples of this trope in animation history...

As you can see there, the dislike for this scene has seeped into the entry. Of course, TV Tropes is pretty informal and I like that, but it’s telling that this is a general perception.

Continue reading below the Cut! ✂

What I don’t like

So, I think my main issue with the scene boils down to... it’s very nebulous and unclear as to what’s so bad about Flik lying. Between the Council, the Queen and Atta, there seems to be a jumbled, confusing motive traffic jam that somehow results in what TV Tropes refers to the Liar Reveal Trope being played “Painfully Straight”.

But uhh, what’s the problem? Yes, Flik lied, but we know that wasn’t something he’d planned on doing, it was his attempt at damage control. The other ants don’t know that part, but still, what are they objecting to, specifically? That the Circus bugs are Circus bugs? That the Bird Plan was Flik’s? That.... lying is treated at an absolute moral failing regardless of the circumstances??

The council dudes are like: “OH WHAAAAT, the defence plan was by Clowns??” [No, it was Flik] “OH WHAAAT, we don’t have our mafia money prepared what if Hopper finds out we nearly sicced a fake bird on him!?”

The part about objecting to Clowns drafting the defence plans is actually the more reasonable explanation, but I guess they presumed warriors habitually made Decoy Bird plans instead of fighting themselves? There’s already a hole in their objections but it only gets worse.

The Queen is like: “Wow Flik evidently you’re a self serving prick. Anyway the best thing to do is pretend this never happened and no we’re not going to tell Hopper.”

Why the fuck would that happen? ‘Oh sorry Hopper we got sidetracked doing a ...thing... so we’re still picking your food no please don’t break my legs’

But also, why THE FUCK is this the plan? Some ruler you are, you old prune. ‘We have the bird all made and ready to go but oops the idea came from a DIRTY LIAR so we’re going to return to the doomed harvesting racket even though we’ve been set an outrageous amount and we can’t possibly hope to catch up and even if we had been picking the food the entire time it was established earlier on we won’t have time for our supplies on top of all that.’

Fucking.... astonishing lack of logic. YOU MORONS HAVE NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE, GO WITH THE BIRD! Flik himself says something to a similar effect lol

But noooooo, his arguably selfish lie [which is more Omitting the truth once he knew it, really] has forever doomed everything, apparently. Honestly it comes across more like they just hate Flik and see anything he invents as doomed to fail, so the second the truth emerges that he spearheaded the Mech Bird they dismiss it as a lost cause. Even though everyone worked together to build it, and Flik’s inventions weren’t the issue but him being awkward and clumsy. But seeing how Flik’s mere presence in his first scene seemed to drive the Council members into a quivering fury, it really does feel like their objections are from them refusing to give him a chance.

And then there’s Princess Atta. Hoo Boy.

In this scene, she comes off as being ridiculously vindictive, petty and hypocritical. This applies to the Council too, but it’s more galling coming from Atta as by now she’s realised that Flik gets a lot of flak [yay wordplay] from the others and she had resolved to give him more credit. BUT OOPS, that didn’t last!

She takes the Lying thing so personally, acting like he was cheating on her or something. “You lied to MeEeEee” well golly gee whiz, was there any particular reason why he would tell you the truth? Other than his rather obvious crush on you, that is? Cause that would still be a weird reason, seeing how the ‘lie’ was after he’d finally got a bit of decent treatment from the others, why would he wanna upset the apple cart?

He probably feared coming out and confessing to Atta [or anyone else] that they’d lose all faith in him and scrap a valid plan that was the only way out of the grasshopper racket mess. Which would be a bit silly and probably the result of someone with low self esteem and confidence issues overthinking the situation but it’s Exactly what actually happens!

It wasn’t a personal slight against you, Princess! To quote Helen Parr: THIS IS NOT! ABOUT! YOU!!

And wooow, you must be awfully chilly up there on your high horse, Miss “Lied to Flik to get rid of him earlier in the film”! Did you ever feel like fessing up? Like ‘hmm I’ve grown much fonder of this doofus, maybe I should be honest with him before engaging with some more light flirting’ ? Maybe if you had, he woulda been honest in return!

I don’t even see why she and the Council bothered lying about their Snipe Hunt ploy, seeing how now they act like he crossed a moral event horizon. Why even bother making a phoney baloney decoy idea to get him away, when they clearly dislike him enough to play the Brutally Honest card without fretting over his feelings. They coulda just ordered him to stay in a corner away from interfering but instead they’re willing to risk his life on a wild goose chase.

...And she then Banishes him! For what?? Lying? About what, the circus bugs or the bird plan? Both?? It really feels like her taking undue personal offence and the Council hating him and the Queen being old and senile.

So yeah, wow, this scene has what I think is the Unintended side effect of making me hate the stupid jerkface Ant colony as every named ant in it except for Dot fucking suck and throw Flik under a bus the second they deem him to be untrustworthy. In spite of, like, that the plan itself was solid and that the Circus Bugs have all been proven to be Good Eggs. They don’t give him a chance to explain and made their own bed to lie in, so I feel dark joy and satisfaction when the grasshoppers do arrive and kick them around some more.

Wow gee, if only you dumb ass ants had some sort of already made contraption to fall back on?

Why is it like this?

I can only make guesses here, be warned!

From what I’ve gathered of an older version of the story, mostly via Wikipedia, I kinda feel like the exposing would have fit that take better. In the beta version of the story, instead of Flik the lead would have been “Red”, who was a red ant and circus bug from the start. The first draft Circus lot woulda been out to scam the ants initially and I guess would have grown genuine fondness with time. The idea of an outsider flim flamming his way into the good books and later being exposed makes the overblown outrage a lot more understandable. But that’s my hypothesis for the direction they ultimately didn’t go in. Also look at how Red looks like a fuckboi here:

But in the final version, Red doesn’t exist! Flik is a part of the colony from the get go, but also apart from it cause no one likes him as, again, his ideas were good but poorly executed and he seemed to be a hindrance. But the ants should at least see that Flik is genuine in his attempts, that he’s trying his best and they should maybe cut him some slack.

The way the ants have their knickers in a twist doesn’t gel so well with the “Well meaning screwup” angle, especially compared to a possible “Opportunistic so-and-so who doesn’t have real attachments to the colony” route.

Also it may be worth noting up there where I put a TV Tropes excerpt, I bolded the relevant half of the run down, but it seems the other half applies much more to this first draft. Interesting...

So I don’t know, but I got the idea that the scene in the movie is basically a holdover from earlier that didn’t get sufficiently updated. The Liar Revealed Scene is the first thing I’d change if I were rewriting the script, and I might go back and change it again after other parts had been redone too, cause the story needs to flow from point A to point B etc. smoothly or else viewers will get annoyed and point it out in Youtube videos or overly long tumblr text posts.

How could it be fixed?

I’m not saying I’m sitting on the perfect idea of a rewrite. But the main thing is what I already touched on, the jarring disconnect between what happens and how the stupid ants respond.

Like, Atta’s sudden grabbing of the Jerkass and Idiot Balls in this scene. Wouldn’t it have been better if she was instead unsure and conflicted? She had lied to Flik earlier and, unlike the Council, was shown to actually realise Flik Has Feelings Too and apologised for the general lack of faith. She didn’t come clean about the Snipe Hunt Lie, so that could be weighing on her during this scene, maybe she would have been the only Council member to Not want to kick him out but felt pressured into it and hasn’t got into the groove of being the Future Queen enough to pull rank and talk them down from being hate filled twats. Maybe someone will mention the flirting that had been happening as muddying her judgement?

That’s my main idea, compare that with her barging in and taking undue personal offence and shooing him off. She’s supposed to feel like she’s doomed to fail too, so her facing a moral dilemma and falling on the wrong side of the fence could tie into that! (To be honest, her arc is kinda undercooked so hey, I’m killing two birds with one stone here!)

Flik being banished at all is a casualty of The Narrative, that he and the Circus Bugs have gotta go away temporarily for the finale to be cooler and more exciting. It’s a Necessary Weasel of writing and you’ll find them in every story ever made. Sometimes things have gotta happen cause Story Structure. The trick is having them more organic and concealed.

So yeah, have the Old Fogeys be in the wrong [which is so far unchanged] but also the majority of the ‘voting’. Make it difficult for Atta to choose between loyalty to the colony as a whole and her sense of duty versus trusting in Flik, who she now knows to always have his heart in the right place. She comes close to standing up for him and herself, but ultimately falters and gets pressured into the call made in the movie. She’s still ultimately responsible as leaders are, but in a much more sympathetic way.

Summation

This got way longer than I had initially imagined, and that’s even after I cut stuff in the editing process! Let’s quickly review the three main points I’m trying to make.

The Issue with the scene - A big song and dance is made over The Lie, but no reason why it’s such a terrible thing is offered. A perfectly sound plan is dismissed nonsensically.

Suspected reasoning for the writing - The tone matches a potential alternate story much better, where someone would have lied for self serving purposes instead of for the greater good.

A suggestion for a rewrite - Make it much more nuanced and fitting the character arcs. Give the characters a reason to react the way they do and have different responses per person. If the ants are going to drop the Bird plan, at least offer a more viable alternate route than going back to what wasn’t working before.

Does it really matter?

Well, I don’t expect a 22 year old film to suddenly get a rewrite, no. And I maintain that it’s a real gem which deserves much higher praise with the other Good Pixars instead of being so constantly overlooked.

Part of what spurred me to think about the scene and what I’d alter is seeing it referred to as ‘Kinda Bad’ in a youtube video that was talking about another Liar Reveal scene in another movie, and that is a bad take, but the point about how clunky this part is isn’t wrong. I don’t want people to dismiss the whole, beautiful image cause one section of it doesn’t vibe!

It doesn’t ruin the picture, but when people have something negative to say it’s this which is the magnet. And I’m kinda guilty of doing the same thing here, haha. But I wanted to really dissect and examine it, to figure out why it’s like that and to guess how simple it may be to rework. It’s bittersweet, but there ain’t such a thing as a perfect movie.

This has been fun for me to go into though, and it’s nice to get thoughts out from just swirling around inside my head, so even if barely anyone sees and makes it through this whole dissertation, I’m glad I wrote it out. It’s a funny way to derive enjoyment from the bumpy part of a beloved movie, but hey, I’ll take it~

#A Bug's Life #Liar Revealed Trope #Pixar #Disney Pixar #Disney #CutCat writes a very long essay

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kyu-bri · 4 years

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Magia Rapport pt 2

@magiarapport

August 24th prompt: What was your favorite event, and why? Is it because of gameplay or the story?

It’s hard to choose so I’m gonna just, gush a bit.

As you can probably tell I’m very biased toward the OG girls, I started Magia Record primarily because PMMM had become my new obsession and I wanted some sort of constant flow of content out of decade old anime lmao.

But another thing I think I hooked onto was Inu Curry’s writing. They really know Madoka Magica and aren’t afraid to really play with them- something the writers for a spin-off gacha game (as with most spin-off stories honestly) can be scared to do. Inu Curry made references, revealed secrets and built upon the story we already know- which lets be honest is what we always truly want from a spin-off series. Magia Record proper does this well by putting more magical girls into the world and letting us see things work out better for them than for the original cast, but what I really appreciated with this story was getting to see that old original cast get to get in on that, and these events managed to do that without watering them down any.

Under the cut is me going on for 3000 words about why I love these three events I’m so sorry. TL;DR at the very end-

I’ll go in release order,

A La Carte Valentine was one of the first if not THE first event I got in on. I was eager to bc 1 Gay Magical Girl Shit Guaranteed. And ofc 2 OG Cast participation.

I want to preface by saying I actually loved all the girls’ stories in this. I was very much still in a state of getting used to Iroha’s gang let alone trying to care about the secondary girls. I knew Tsukasa had this angsty Twins Separated At Birth Deal and liked seeing her home life (also I immediantly stanned Take. Regular well-meaning dude who has no idea whats going on just trying his best and hating his boss). I knew nothing about Ami except Cowgirl Meguca and getting the bulk of her personality in one short even I think really kept me from being absolutely sick of her, she’s just a cute silly teenage girl who could be in literally anything and I was able to just endearingly giggle at that. Hinano managed to do the heterosexual unrequited crush cliché without me groaning or missing any of her regular personality. Also was there a Ren part? I don’t remember because everything Ren does feels like a Soft Yuri Valentines Special. Also I love Momoko. Ok moving on to what I Really wanna talk about.

Madoka is genuinely my Least Cared About of the Holy Sextet. I don’t think she’s bad or even boring- Madoka has a depth to her character, like, really deep- but that’s not something ever really touched upon by the fandom. Even when people like her and make her the Heroine she’s Supposed to be, it’s usually in the context of “Girl who feels nothing but kindness and happy thoughts would cut off her right hand to feed to a hungry dog. Isn’t she so Good????”. And honestly, while I understand the point it was going to make, I wasn’t crazy about her sacrifice in the end of the series. (Team Homura “Rebellion Is Good Actually” ftw) All because I think that I’m an Adult Woman watching this like “You are 14yrs old and need to be home playing Sims and not sacrificing yourself for the greater good you stupid silly little baby girl”

So my point is here near all fan content I encounter tends to emphasize whats sort of my least favorite facet of Madoka. I don’t think she made the ‘wrong’ decision in the context she and the story were given, but it’s still a sad thing to show a depressed(!!!) insecure girl resolving to give away her very existence so that every other girl on earth has a chance to just Dream. Oh and they still usually die young. But that’s ok because then she takes them and lets them sleep peacefully forever in her Heaven Basement (Yes I am bitter stan Homura I would yank this savior complex infant girl out the sky too)

MY POINT BEING (The servers closing let me BLEED OUT ALL MY FEELINGS) This event did not do that!!! It made Madoka…….. EVERYTHING SHE SHOULD BE??? ALWAYS??? Showed her HOW WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO VIEW HER??? (Read: Happy and Alive and Confident at no foreboding or sacrifice of anyone else!!!!)

She is Sassy and Surrounded By Friends and Really Funny??? And we get this Ridiculous Oh My God On Crack metaphor about her being this all-powerful apocalypse bringing being which is representing her love for the universe through her Witch form of Wanting Everyone To Be Happy And Safe With Her??? And she still risks herself to save everyone as is her Thing to do but we get to have her do it without erasing her existence as a human being at the end and if that is not some GOOD SHIT????

Ok next:

NGL Sayaka’s (fav character, inarguable best girl, can u not tell) parts in MagiReco til like the last arc have always left me a bit disappointed. She was the only late comer of the OG girls from what I understand and it kind of gives her the air of what a lot of the second(/thirdary?) girls suffer from. You can tell the writers can’t even figure out a trope to apply her to to make her easy and two dimensional to write about so they just don’t know what to do. They definitely try to make up for it (especially in the anime which Praise Be but that’s probably Inu Currys doing) but she’s still lacking like, any of the depth of her personality. Which, I guess I could anticipate. Because most of the fandom tends to as well. (again)

Gonna stop complaining and get on with- That didn’t feel as much the case in her Valentine event. Sure it was still the same formula of “The Issue Is Kyosuke” but that didn’t play out as grueling as her personal story did with “Nine Episodes Of “The Issue Is Kyosuke””

There was one big glaring heart-aching detail of “Mami isn’t really there because SHES IN A FUCKING CULT RIGHT NOW” which kind of jarred the event out of the ho-hum silly valentines sidestory these events usually keep up.

Sayaka has this crisis about Doing Anything Meaningful With Kyosuke which we all know what That’s calling back to, but in this environment we get to have Kyoko come right up and be in a position with her to earnestly and affectionately Push Her To Do It. The lonely little tsundere bitch girl pushes her Not Friend to Give The Bastard The Gotdamn Chocolate Already and for a moment you can only think about What If’s and If Only’s. Sayaka’s is still the weakest of the threes stories in this event but it worked harder to show us different sides of the characters then 6 chapters of Another Story managed to do.

And then there’s fucking Homura.

I will be, eternally grateful for Kuro. As a character that becomes metaphorical for the 2D ways we initially viewed the feathers and just NPCs in games in general, and also like, giving Homura a friend she actually cares about that isn’t the tangled dark web of Bullshit she’s gotten tied up with Madoka in. Please ask me about all my AU’s where Kuro is Homuras first girlfriend.

Seeing Moemura in Magia Record has always been a bit surreal, we never really understand just what stage of Trauma this Homura is in because Multiverses Are Hell, but this event gives us a good chunk of a Homura who still has hope and faith both in the world and Madoka. Theres this wonder to her that while still bogged down by terrible experiences still has the energy to be Trying. And she sees a girl who used to be like her- which when you think about it is probably what Madoka saw in her- and she wants to help. Because Madoka helped her. And Madoka is the best thing in the universe and maybe Homura can be just a little bit closer to that.

Kuro is too far gone though, as is the reality frequently in this series, things don’t work out just because of circumstance. Kuro was a bullied, insecure little girl who realistically shouldn’t have had to become a rampaging monster because of it. We’re reminded of this being the reality of the Madoka universe. Homura, is reminded of this reality. Homura loses this one chance to bring hope into the world like Madoka brought hope into hers.

And then her story ties into the ending of Madoka’s. Madoka saves her life yet again, even as Homura continues to feel miserable and empty. But at least Madoka is with her. The girls then share a quiet, intimate Valentines together. And you sort of understand how Homura fell so far into the darkness that the only thing she was able to still care about and fight for was Madoka’s safety.

That shit slaps. It slaps you right in the heart and causes fucking bruising but then u want it to do it again because you’re masochistic and Meguca Is Suffering.

Anyway I hope Kuroe slaps our hearts more in season2

MOVING ON!!!!

~Nagisa’s Wish~

Ok, I don’t remember what got me so simp over Nagisa, I think it was the heart-aching irony that Mami adopts the witch that fucking ate her. But that is my baby now and I’d die for her. Fandom Charlotte whose pink and silly and loves her mom and is Mami’s cancer-riddled girlfriend is cool and all but she isn’t a tiny Halloweeny baby whose fucking bitter angry and manically obsessed with cheese due to PTSD.

I had saw a summary of Nagisa’s Wish reposted just to quickly explain Nagisa’s backstory, and as such immediately had to search out if that crazy ride was true- so I actually watched this whole event probably before I downloaded the game. It was surreal on its own but replaying it when it came to NA didn’t lessen it any- I got to process more of what I was witnessing and as result stanned Yu pretty hard.

I guess to explain my Emotions here, saving Yu for later- calls for me to just, describe who Nagisa is as a human being and my headcanons surrounding it all with what this event gave us. Whether you consider it canon or not it’s one version of events that we were given and that I am all for accepting.

Nagisa’s Mom was a celebrity, she could have been an actress though I also like the idea of her being an Idol. She met Nagisa’s Dad oh-so romantically and got knocked up- they very well could have been married but it doesn’t seem clear enough. He seems to have left too suddenly for legal matters like that. Nagisa is approximately 11, and while she seems to remember her Father, she doesn’t in the sense of having had a relationship with him or any feelings. Her Mother has to “explain” why he left, so Nagisa was probably still young even if not a baby. What I’m getting at here is the timeline for when Nagisa’s Mom Got Like That. Nagisa can remember her from before she was, and then says that she got sick after her Dad left. So what I’m wondering is did Daddy Momoe ruin this young rich girls life, give her syphilis and then leave her with a baby she was unfit to care for in poverty? I know half of this is running on anime logic but Holy Shit all the possible ways reasons and ideas for why things could’ve gotten This Bad.

Is it ridiculously dark and edgy that the original story we were given was “Girl wishes her dying mother could have her favorite cake but then realizes OOPSIE-DAISY I could have wished for her to Not Die instead!!!!” got turned into “11yr old hates her abusive mother so much she wants to make her suffer in the most symbolic way she can and then goes mental when she isn’t able to do it”??? Yes. But if I had the mental capacity to I have to admit I was in a position to be just as bitter at that age too. I can’t call it unrealistic. I may infact be projecting hard with how much I support and enjoy this backstory.

Anyway Nagisa was in such a state of trauma and distress at a horrifically young age when she died that it broke her mental faculties so severely that even when she came back as a literal Angel of God she had blocked it out so deeply and thoroughly she seemingly regressed to an even younger capacity and hyperfixated on the trait that she has before used to try to bond with her Mother who she had died hating.

And that also slaps u right in the heart.

A N D T H E N !

~Beachside Bonds~

Just the simple structure of this story was so enjoyable and nicely done. We finally get to see the OG girls in a context we wouldn’t be able to in literally any other scenario. They’re going on a summer vacation together and Homura is sentimentally journaling every single second of it. Is this mayhaps because she’s never gotten to be this happy and blissful with these girls she loves so much??? Of course this is are you not paying attention what the fuck. Homura is so optimistic and healed and hopeful she’s acting like what she might actually be doing as a normal teenage girl. (A heartrending contrast to the end of her Valentines Special)

We get nothing short of pure fluffy Slice Of Life shenanigans on the beach which even includes a bunch of the Kamihama girls that the OG crew knows! And they talk about it! And introduce eachother! And their friends commentate on it! Ren gets to see Kyoko Not Being A Bitch and then Sayaka teases her about having made friends and oh my god my heart is turning into cottoncandy as we speak Mom holy FUCK

Sayaka’s existence fucking matters in this story! It’s her families Hotel they’re staying at and she has relationships and memories with the creepy twins that live there and she talks like a fucking person??? And gives opinions??? That aren’t just copypasted “Justice is Good and Bad things are BAD!!!!”

Mami is fresh out of her fucking Cult Drama and she’s still trying to be cool Senpai but then she DECKS Homura in the face and gets scared by the ghost stories and then turns into pudding and waxes nostalgia at Kyoko out of nowhere IT’S ALMOST LIKE SHE’S A FIFTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL????????

G H O S T S ? ? ? ?

Y U ! ? ! ? ! ? !

(IS G A Y ! ! ! !)

This whole fucking backstory and truly horrifying Romeo and Juliet on Acid love and death story between Yu and her girlfriend and like if I wasn’t fascinated enough by Yu just being the creepy organ harvester before but apparently thats what she became after she literally made some sort of wish that erased all of her memories besides the nickname her sweetheart used for her and coincidentally also added to her the task of killing all Bad People?????

Yu made a wish to be able to get rid of All Bad People preserving the innocent version of herself who grew up with this girl and it was right after a failed double suicide attempt on fucking Doomed Lovers Cliff fucking Lifetime Will You Ever.

It then pairs with Homura whose PTSD gets to shine through a bit in being unable to believe any bad sort of Madoka which how could you try to force her to at this point while Also pairing Homura with Ren in the “Gay Love Saved Our Lives: Traumatized vers & Vanilla vers”

I don’t remember if there was a symbolic finale and tbh I have forgotten a lot of the details with Yu and her girlfriend Whatsherface because that shit was just so shocking and bizarre to read and much too painful to reread in a timely fashion just.

That shit hurted but it was full of so much love and hope both doomed and stolen but still was wrapped up in the comforting concept that This Is The Universe Where Homura Gets To Be Okay This Time.

She’s still scarred beyond comprehension and this ghost drama accentuated it all but at the end of the day this is still the Safe Universe where all of them are alive and the Holy Quintet are friends and they’re all going to be okay (Godoka & Aniplex willing) and so many of us love Madoka Magica because it shows girls fighting through the same pain we’ve been through and keeping their hope alive and here we get to see them actually find peace in a clunkily written fanservicey spin-off mobile gacha game and hey, that made me happy while I got to experience it. Thanks for the ideas and memories and tragic backstories and funny thirdary characters MagiReco I’m gonna take em all and Run.

Akjsladbfalkjfsbslk If you read this all without getting a migraine or blocking me ily thanks for listening!!!!!!

TL;DR

Me likey A La Carte Valentine bc it’s silly and gay and I simp Kuro

Me likey Nagisa’s Wish bc sawft baby is good and so are Tragic Edgy Backstories

Me likey Beachside Bonds bc Gay Ghosts and Our Girls Finally Get To Be Happy Peaceful(ish) Teenage Girls and that’s all I want for them ;w;

Reeses In Pieces ya’ll

1Ten 2More 3Words 4To 5Hit 6(3000 7Words 8Woo 9Boy 10Howdy

#magia rapport #magia record #pmmm

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mondoholic · 4 years

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Josh Homme spoke to Kyuss World Radio about the 25th anniversary of KYUSS's final album, "…And The Circus Leaves Town". The Californian four-piece split three months following the LP's release, resulting in it being less critically and commercially successful when compared to the two KYUSS albums which helped birth the stoner rock movement — 1992's "Blues For The Red Sun" and 1994's "Welcome To Sky Valley".

"I'm not good at keeping memorabilia and I'm not too nostalgic because I guess it makes me feel a little sad sometimes," Josh said. "And I feel like there's such a huge pile of things to do. And sometimes I feel like when I look at a picture or something, I go, 'Man, it'll never be that. That's only where it was.' So I tend to focus forward.

"Hearing that [the album] is 25 years old, that makes me happy. It makes me a little bit proud that I got to do something that long ago, and I'm not dead yet. [Laughs]"

Asked if he had an inkling that "…And The Circus Leaves Town" would turn out to be KYUSS's swansong when he chose the LP title, Homme said: "I think the way Brant [Bjork, drums] left [after] 'Sky Valley' was a real shock, and it was very much like the rug being pulled out from under you. Because I didn't really understand [why he was leaving], and he was never able to make it really clear. Because I think it's difficult, too — when you're young like that, it's difficult to say, 'I need to go this direction.' When he left, he had our manager tell us that he was leaving, so we didn't really get to speak to Brant. And one of the things that he had said was, 'I think the band should be over.' And I really loved Brant. And I think that was a difficult moment to hear your friend was gone and he wasn't explaining why and that he thought it should be over.

"One aspect that I always agreed with is that bands, especially at that time, I was adamant that bands shouldn't go on too long," he continued. "At the time, I really felt like you do your best work, and when you realize you've done your best work, that's when you should explode the band — to preserve it is to destroy it; that you end [the band] at the absolute apex of your creativity as a group of people. And for me, personally, and I probably should have shared this, but in my gut, I was, like, 'We'll do one more record, and it'll be everything we have.' And so when I suggested that title, I think I knew that that was it, or I felt that it was coming to a close. It just felt very sort of Edgar Allan Poe, or it felt like 'Something Wicked This Way Comes', which is one of the [most] beautiful I've ever seen for a book. It's just got this beautiful ominous darkness to it. And so '…And The Circus Leaves Town' just felt timeless, and it's over, and you watch the exit on the horizon."

In March 2012, Homme and ex-KYUSS bassist Scott Reeder filed a federal lawsuit against Bjork and ex-KYUSS singer John Garcia over their involvement in the band KYUSS LIVES!, alleging "trademark infringement and consumer fraud." Five months later, a judge ruled that Garcia and Bjork could not release any recordings under the name KYUSS LIVES! and warned them that future concerts under the KYUSS LIVES! mark "might continue to subject them to liability for trademark infringement."

Asked if there is any scenario under which he would consider taking part in a KYUSS reunion of some kind, Homme told Kyuss World Radio: "My philosophy has always been, never do a reunion, never do a sequel. It's not what it was; it's what it is. And that's kind of how I've felt. A legacy that involves having been at the epicenter of a scene that got created, it's so fragile; it's like an ice sculpture. And I don't wanna be a blow dryer on that thing. That being said, I was in full support of KYUSS LIVES! and I would go to the shows and I told them as much, until what Brant and, unfortunately, what John tried to do. And that was terrible."

Elaborating on the breakdown of his relationship with Bjork and Garcia, Homme said: "All you have to do is show each other respect and say, 'Hey, we wanna do this, and we wanna talk about it.' Once Scott Reeder told me they were wanting to put out an album, I said, 'Let's sit down and talk.' So Scott and I went and talked to John and Brant. Sorry, it wasn't Brant — it was just John, because the band as it is, Brant had quit, so he wasn't part of that, what it was when it stopped, [which was] me and Scott and John. So I said, 'This is a discussion for me and you and John.' So I went and talked. And I said, 'We should find out a way for you guys to continue that's respectful.' You don't trample on what the legacy is and that you kind of let everyone understand what's going on moving forward. And the name they chose was a little unfortunate, 'cause it's actually literally saying KYUSS is alive again, which wasn't my favorite thing, but I was, like, 'Who cares?' But unbeknownst to me and Scott during that meeting, they'd already applied for a trademark to steal the name away. So I'm sitting there talking to these guys in good faith, and their managers, and they'd already applied, and you have, like, 20 days to object to the application. So the notion that I'm sitting there talking in good faith about how they could continue, and meanwhile, at that exact moment, in another room somewhere, they're applying to take the trademark for the name KYUSS so we wouldn't own it anymore, so John and Brant would own it. And so John had felt like he was robbing himself for something, and that's just not right — I don't play that way. And it also meant that they couldn't be trusted to be honest. 'Cause I'm sitting in a room, and instead of telling you that, it's like being stabbed in the back, essentially. There was no choice but to actually take action, because you can't sit down and say, 'Let's talk about this,' because now you told me that I may say something to you with my right hand, but my left hand might be stabbing you in the back. It's made it impossible to trust what was going on. And Scott and I both were, like, 'Jesus.' And it was only three people — me and John and Scott. It was, like, 'John, what are you doing? You are allowing you and Brant to take the name from you and me and Scott.'"

Homme continued: "I suppose at the end of the day, they didn't need a blessing [to play KYUSS music], but I was giving it to 'em. I want those guys to do well. And they were playing KYUSS music for a generation that had only heard of it and never heard it. I didn't see the harm in that. But trying to usurp it and take it away was just like dirty pool. The problem with all that stuff is that in a lawsuit or something like that, everyone loses; everyone looks bad. People that have loved KYUSS for so long go, 'Fuck these guys.' And that's terrible. That's why I say it's so fragile. That's why I say I've always wanted to err on the side of don't finger bang the ice sculpture; it's gonna break. If you don't touch it, it's just classic. But you don't punctuate the end of a band with a lawsuit. Those things are tragic, and they're awful. And then they lost, because, of course, you lose when you do things like that. But that damage is awful.

"But to be honest with you, and to answer your question, there have been times I thought it cannot end that way, and the only real way to end it correctly now would be to play," he explained. "And because they sort of perverted the punctuation and they knocked the wing off this beautiful dragon that's an ice sculpture, and the only way to put the motherfucking wing back on would be to [play again].

"I have thought about this, especially in the last few years, to do something special, and even to make up for that mistake of Brant and, unfortunately, John, to make up for it. [I thought we should] play and give all the money away. Like, play for the fans — cover your costs and make it five bucks. Figure out a way to be, like, this is how the punctuation will end the sentence of this band. Because it was never about money — it never was about money. It never was about fame, and when it felt like that was the move they were making, I was so sad."

After KYUSS split in 1995, Homme went on to form QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE.

In a May 2012 interview with RolllingStone.com, Bjork stated about Homme and Reeder's lawsuit, "They don't want to mention that they trademarked the name KYUSS after I left the band, assuring that I had no rights in KYUSS's future. They're both accusing John and I of doing something that they actually did themselves. Their inner conflict is this: both Josh and Scott want control and money from KYUSS LIVES!, but they don't want to participate and they ultimately don't want us to exist. The double standard is unbelievable."

He added, "Josh and I were the creative force within the band and after the completion of our second record, 'Blues For The Red Sun', we developed an opposing view on how the band should exist and operate. In 1992, Josh discovered publishing, which is the financial revenue stream for songwriting. After that, he wanted to write all the songs. As a drummer, I couldn't make him play my songs. I wasn't going to compromise my heart and soul and play drums for Josh to make money in a band I started. So I left the band. I was a confused, angry and sad 19-year-old idealist who sacrificed my love of my band for what I believed in. Two and a half years later, Josh would break up the band after John confronted him about the same thing; his need to control the band for personal gain."

#Josh Homme #Kyuss #QOTSA #Queens Of The Stone Age

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bufflessbodney · 4 years

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Hi I just have a few followups to my letter I would like to bring to your attention.

One, probably the main, reason I do not feel bipolar and also really feel that medication is also therefore not the solution is that my mind is so nuanced and I am very aware of its aspects or components or whatever but that medication dulls those connections. So it has been extremely difficult to draw them all back together which I have been actively doing for these past five years. It is more than that though; during my 18 year stint as a single mother it's like my mind was on reserve/plateau(x) cuz everything was routine (and rather the attempts at making a worthwhile routine I could stick to but I like to change things up and learn from things, so it varied somewhat, but I was aware and purposeful with it, blabedee blah) and I was so distracted by it and my children's needs. However I learned how to multitask like a madman and that counts for a hell of a lot. I do not know the 'science' of it but I suspect it has to do with neural groove thingos.

So yeah basically what I am trying to illustrate is that I am capable of maintaining many disperate but interdependent thoughts and when I stopped sleeping, eating and lost my routine everything went haywire for a lil while.

It has been settling and reconfiguring and coming back together very peacefully and sympaticoishly since coming off my injection. I am not 100% sure I am not bipolar, and I don't entirely refute the definition as I know it serves a purpose, however, I believe in my case there is more to it. Well there is always more to it it's just that I am very self aware and sensitive and proactive and so can speak to the process from within.

So I dunno if it is 'synesthesia' or a 'photographic memory' or what (I had thought of it as the latter as a child) but when I was a kid I could remember all events for weeks, in order, down to every detail observed, like in rewind (or ffwd). That stopped when I started smoking pot, just went away. Anyway it's starting to come back.

I have theories and stuff but I do wanna keep some stuff to myself cuz I am an artist and writer, but I thought you might enjoy that relevant information.

And with it expand your knowledge base for its correct application

Also, having so much time and space on my hands, and its intelligent use (in my opinion) grants me the luxury of arriving at conclusions I can find satisfaction with which I was not able, simply to ..uh, do when I had kids or was on constant guard as a child in my home against my mother’s daily attacks. I’ll put it another way: at the age of 8 I decided that ‘weird’ was my favourite word because it represented what people were confused about and\or feared and thus did not typically investigate further. I chose the other path (of investigation). Thus I have made many connections others simply don’t and cannot. And then somewhere in my early twenties 'context’ became my favourite word. I haven’t had a favourite word in a while but one of the reasons in my first email I use so many ’s (and as opposed to “s) is to disempower words, at least temporarily, to remind us that they only have the power we give them, and to question why we do. Etc. If I have a point which is besides the point it is that no one actually knows the truth (hey check out that album by Harry Nilsson called 'The Point’ especially if you have kids: sooo good) and that we are just too busy and disorganized as a 'whole’ to apply what knowledge and wisdom quite right or yet or whatever, but I do believe in God’s plan, so I’m not worried. I just cannot sacrifice myself in any way to the process for any incorrect reason.

I also realize to you my words might seem 'grandiose’ or something, I guess, but I have a 'grand’ view of most things being as I have Venus at the last degree of Sagittarius in my first house on the ascendant (furthermore, I know what it means; its Sabian Symbol has to do with faith which I have always had in abundance, 99.9% of the time, and Sagittarius is concerned with truth and is of a very buoyant and cheerful temperament and in the element of fire has an endless amount of energy. Being at the last degree is the culmination of the sign, and so, essentially has evolved to its utmost. Meaning, I put my concepts and beliefs into action, and with my tight, uncompromising stellium in Aquarius, I at least believe I know what those beliefs are, because I believe so very little. I am a highly skeptical person and rigorous with information and its effect).

Having so much faith is a result of testing it, often involuntarily, and finding the cause was there. It is that simple and it is worth losing it for 00.1% of the time.

The other thing I wanted to say is that I realize your circles and mine would probably rarely interlap however even most people in caring professions took a holistic view in my experience in BC so to me it really is second nature.

Thank you for reading, J

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andyelson · 6 years

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of all- 5

chapter 5 - - of all

word count:10227

(Authors Note: A few, new people come around. Nany: Nany is a friend of Addison's she hasn't been around much because of her family emergency, Addison and Nany know each other from residancy, Nany is from chicago. and has a fiance named Keilan.

The, next morning. Leati and Addi we're laughing on the couch, he would tickle her stomach and grab her waist to pull her close as she would fight him, as she would lose it would cause her to giggle, just then Addi's phone rang as it was on the kitchen table, she mumbled " I can't be bothered with that thing, I wanna be bothered by you Leati" She said as her phone beeped, for a new voicemail she sat up covering herself he laughed and said, " I can bother you all the time, my pretty young thing, " she laughed as, she sighed but i probably should check that, as he rolled his eyes she laughed and went to grab it, as she went running from leati he sat back and admired her, she was looking, at her phone, I have to take this, It's the hospital. he smiled as he nodded. This is addison jess, how can i be of assistance to you, she said as she twirled her hair while listening on the other end, he admired her as she was so professional yet in the bedroom she was this wild little firecracker, that he loved. "yes go ahead, and give them the paperwork make sure to fax this to my tampa phone, I'll be able to read it from my email Thanks no i appreciate the phone call of course you as well". Leati looked up as she came to sit next to him, " Everything okay babe? " she smiled, oh yeah perfectly fine new doctor in town so he's going over paperwork from a few patients and one of them is being discharged so i have to sign off on the notes. I'm still concerned as well, on your test results I need to get a hold of your doctor but he's still not in. I know you have been itching to get back on the road, as she sighed, and to get away from me. As he stopped her, " You think for a second i'm ready or even remotely thinking of just as you call it, get away from you, I can't even begin to think of myself being on the road, i don't want to be on the road, ever since my split from Galina, it's been hard i'm not going to sugar coat the shit for you. It's been hard, to see Joelle for a limited time, and to then be away from her The day i met you The day you called, and from the moment we spoke on the phone Addison, has been the best days of my life i feel alive again, and i mean that, from the time at the hotel, and to now I knew i had to have you, and from that moment I just felt complete. I don't want to leave. I just I don't know Leati. I'm afraid that you go on the road, and here i sit, back at the hospital treating new people, meeting new people I am a nurse Leati, Yes i often work with you guys but, i also treat you guys when you do come to the local hospital and i do travel- She was hushed mid sentance with a powerful kiss that told her a story a hunger, a desire. Leati i'm serious, I don't know if we can handle seperation, I am sorry Addi but you can't just end it right here, right now because i'm close to going back on the road, I can't do that to myself but more importantly to my daughter. She was devestated to no end, that me and her mom split and I was terrified to even bring someone in her life She loves you, We love you, I love you I love you more than, i love performing in front of 1500 people I can't lie to you, I can't make you stay but i swear to god i can be a good man to you I can show you love, I can give you love, I can stay faithful, I can and I will come home to you every time. - She smiled with the promo, " I can I will" she caressed the side of his face, as he grabbed her hand he whispered Just lets make this work, please. I will give you an answer in the morning I need to get to work, so i can talk to your doctor, and see if your ready, I can come home for lunch but it won't be until about 3:00. I'll call when it gets close, Leati leaned in for a kiss as she didn't move she didn't budge she allowed the kiss, which made him think she was here for them.

10:00AM at the hospital "Hey Girl, good to see you back! how's things going with Joe? " Nany asked Nany was new to the hospital having been in chicago due to her family emergency, He's well Nany I just a lot is changing, and i don't know. I love him so much, I really do as she grabbed her patient book list and sipped her starbucks, she sat down going through her list of patients she saw Joseph Anoaʻi she opened the chart, "Oh my god, Oh no. he's going to be so distraught, I can't possibly look at this." Addison said, as Nany rolled over to her, "Whats wrong? He send you something"? Addison shook her head "No, he's still not cleared the doctor, wrote in the chart, he may have another 2-3 weeks he's going to be so upset he's been with the guys working out, miminal things, but they're still not clearing him to go back on the road. I may have to escape, and have lunch a little early I need to go see my patient in 404, give some meds and run a test for patient in 302 and probably go grab lunch, Let me know if my phone goes off. Nany nodded and said she would, as Addison went into her first patient room a 13 year old little girl with a, broken nose, " Hi i'm Addison, lets take a look at that nose okay, can you tell me what happened sweetie, " I fell off the monkey bars and i don't remember what else". okay lets get you down to X-ray so we can see it better, okay after i see the X-Ray we can see what we can do for you better okay sweetie you'll be okay." She smiled at her parents as they seemed, nervous during xray, they only found a minor break, nothing severe she advised her parents, that if she wasn't bleeding, and the pain wasn't severe, to just apply a cold compress and ice for 15-20 minutes, for every 4-6 hours and to take children's tylenol to relieve pain. and to definitely come back if pain worsens or she does begin to bleed. The parents thanked her as she followed them out to the waiting room. Another patient, was a 10 year old boy who suffered a ligament sprain in his ankle , from football "Hi i'm Addison, Colton is it? can you tell me what happened, sweetie, " She said as she began looking through his chart, His father was with him as his mother was stuck in a meeting, " I Had practice and came down fairly hard and couldn't move my foot, I don't remember what else, happened. " I See". Addison said, Well i am going to have to do a few xrays to make sure it's a fairly mild or it could be a grade II which is moderate and which also means, your ligaments may be partially torn. Sit tight and i'll get an xray ordered and have my oncall come in and help. "Colton Johnson" the nurse, called out, as colton came to the window, he was being called to meet the doctor, for the Xray, "Hi there Colton, I'm Doctor Ashcraft, I'm going to play this safe, and run the Xray before i assume anything, have you had a xray before? He turned to his father, " No he hasn't" he replied, pretty healthy kid we have here, " Well he's in good hands here that's for sure," Dr Ashcraft said. As the doctor helped colton on the table, he then, had colton position so he could get the camera, positioned right, "Ok, colton i need you to lie still, and not to move okay, dad if you'll step out on the side over here, colton hold real still for me okay, here we go." as the camera took 4-9 shots, moving left and right on the machine, the camera took, 4-5 more. " Okay, colton i've got the shots, dad if you wanna come in and help him up, we can get these read and detirmine, if you can go back out on the field okay bud, you did a great job!" He said. As Dr ashcraft called Addison in the tech room, " I don't see anything minor, Addi i think it's just a big major sprain. the doctor was cut off, " With all do respect, doctor, if you look on this side, its either a sprain or his tendon." Addison, I think your more than just a sports nurse, your a sport doctor. " Your exactly right, It definitely is a tendon, he's going to have 4-6 weeks out of comission poor guy. I think he's going to be okay i do want him, to not play for the aloted time space which would be the 4-6 weeks lets go in and explain it." as they turned off the exam room, and went into colton's room. "Colton, I had to bring Addison with me, as she showed me something different i was going to just, claim you as a major sprain and have you sit out two weeks, however she brought to my attention, it is definitely a tendon sprain, I don't want to perform surgery not yet I'm going to reccomened, you sit out 4-6 weeks come back at your 4 week mark and we'll see how your healing if your completely healed then, your good to go. we will see though. I hate throwing the "S" word around that's why i don't rarely, I'll go ahead and write up a sports excuse paper for you to take back to school and you can pick that up here on monday okay. " He said as his father, shook his and Addison's hand. they walked out, Just then, As colton looked up there stood Leati, As colton froze, Leati extended his hand as colton took his hero's hand in his, and shook it " I'm such a huge fan. I can't- I c-Can't believe you go here, nobodys going to believe me that i saw you. I - Oh Man." As leati laughed, and said " I couldn't believe i go here either but have you seen, that nurse Addi though she's good. that's who i go to see, she's the best!" just as Addi could form a sentance and get her mouth and jawline, to stop smiling and blushing she said " Hello Mr Anaoi'. how can i be of service to you". As Nany laughed, Colton took a photo and got his football he brought, for comfort signed, he had left. Well Ms. Addison, i just thought i was in the area and i was wondering if you would be my uh date, to a lunch. You know? nothing casual just soup and a sandwhich, i'll have you back in no time. She smiled as she hit his chest, " Of course you can Leati, I'll go punch out, and you can have me for awhile". He muttured under his breath, " Oh i'll have you for awhile alright". " Ready to go Sweetheart"? He said as she was bringing her wallet clutch and key card. she simply smiled as the two left the office.

**LUNCH** "Babe, where do you want to go? Leati asked, as he held the car door open for her. She thought to herself, for quite sometime, As leati got in the car and started the car. She however whispered, "Home" he looked at her and said "for an hour, and you want to go home?" she nodded, as he cocked his head and said " As you wish baby". they arrived at their home as they both walked inside the house, Leati put his keys on the kitchen table as, Addison disappeared, he walked upstairs to their room there she was "Your not hungry for food?" he asked she motioned for him to come closer, " You want this?" as he walked out of his compression shorts as he revealed his long and already cock she smiled as he trampled over the bed and took her down with him, they both laughed as she was straddling him, " I think i need these scrubs off, Doc" he began untying her ties revealing the little black thong she was sporting, he then began, giving soft sensual kisses, up and down her thighs, kissing her stomach and back up again, to her neck he then postioned himself in front of her as her legs did the work, opening automatically, then closing again as he moved her left leg open, he positioned her the way he wanted as he began moving, slow at first she finally spoke " No. Leati No. don't go fast, he looked up at her, as he began pumping slow at first, disregarding what she said, within a few fast pumps, and a few grunts she had enough of his slow paced love. She stretched out the blanket, that was already messed up from before, "Get ready for the ride of your fucking life leati" she said, as he snickered a deep low laugh, she began to position herself facing him, leaning down on his chest a bit she began riding his ever so already cock, breathing heavily taking him in inch by inch, riding him faster and faster as he grunted, Addison's breath became more hoarse, as she stopped turned herself around to face the bedroom door, minutes before she could even postion herself to breathe she grabbed his cock, guided it to herself, and began riding slow at first, but picked up pace, " This is it, this belongs to me leati, you you belong to me as his eyes opened and closed he was fighting his urge to unload, but it was too soon, he reversed his girl, as she fell back in the pillows, she went under the covers as he followed pulling the covers, over them, " Why did you stop?" she asked. he didn't say a word, " Leati ..." she said as soon as she, said his name she felt this powerful force that some would call a hand, better people would call it a finger, a finger was going amongst her sweetest sin, her toes curled, amongst the sheets as she felt not one, but two fingers inside her as she dipped her head moving, from side to side, moans soon filled the air, she didn't want to, she didn't want the urge and passion to end, but as soon as she left her body, she became fleshed as her first orgasm washed over her, and onto the sheets "oh my" as she panted he wasn't done, as his fingers slowly left her slit he began to stroke himself only to of found, himself burrying him deep inside her already wet slit "I'm going to fuck, you as hard and as fast as i can, you are not to move, are we clear doc" he whispered, nothing was said from her as her eyes tightened shut her hands were death gripping the sheets from the sensations her body was giving her, "Leati, I have to go...." she was cut off from the world, as she would describe it she was cut off, followed by trails of soft biting kisses, nips as he thrusted himself inside her, filling her with sweet samoan juices, as they finally matched together, Leati flipped his hair, out of his face, he began taking what was his matched paces with hers leaving hers in between the sheets, moans soon filled the air as leati's breath came back to normal he threw the blanket back off of him, addison soon regained hers, "Man i wish i didn't have to go back to work, that was the best lunch i had". Leati rolled over on his side, proping himself up with his hand on his head, with his other arm laying on his side he began rubbing her arm, giving soft kisses all around her neck, " Leati i have to get ready to go back to the hospital, you keep doing this, and i'm not going to make my afternoon" she said as, she got up she pulled her scrubs back on as she went through her drawer she couldn't find a cute enough bra, she didnt't want to wear the same one she wore since 7:30 that morning, " I know I know, your answer but what color I have 3 strapless and 3 regular leati what do you, think i should wear?" he replied "nothing. wear nothing" she rolled her eyes and said," white strapless be okay for your liking, sir?" he smiled and said, what's easier for me to take off tonight, she laughed and said her strapless will do, she covered her small breasts that were still begging for his touch, and his tongue, as she threw her scrub top on, she went with a black and white floral something simple as she went to the bathroom, she quickly braided her hair in pig tails threw some make up on to freshen up As leati walked in the bathroom, he stood in the door way with his arms leaning on the doorsil, "Ya look good doc." she playfuly slapped his chest, and leaned in for a hug she grabbed her jacket, as he walked her out she got in her jeep, as he gave her a kiss, she left.

*Back at the hospital* She pulled in her spot, she thought to herself * I never even ate! he never even, took me out to lunch. granted the sex was definitely good and it was, definitely what she wanted she never even had a actual food group food* She went into the cafe, and grabbed a tuna salad sandwhich and a orange juice as she went back to her station, she sat down, adjusted her seat and began going through her notes, as nany came around the corner, she came to the station to sit next to Addi, " Ahh this has been the longest day of my life. 5 rooms 5 patients and all kids, my heart just breaks for them. I have 3 days off coming and i'm indulging in pizza and sweats and my boyfriend" she said as addi laughed, " Girl i know what you mean, i had a really good lunch with Leati and i can't wait to get off tonight to just be with him. I still have yet to hear from his doctor, and it's breaking his heart to not be cleared. I'm not complaining not having him go back though" she said. just then she got a message on her computer Addison J. - the message was titled "Occuring" she opened it as the first wordings we're In regards to Leati Anoai' in 1 (One) to - 3(three) weeks he will be cleared, we are still very relunctant on making the 3 week run invalid, if he shows improvement with an updated xray please do make the appointment, and email me back when he has an appointment and we will go from there. Thank you Dr. A-A Andrews. she smiled and sighed a huge relief she closed the email and phoned the xray department, " Hi yes this is Addison J I am calling in regards to a patient, Leati Anoai', I need to schedule a follow up Xray the document is J-F321909 Yes. anyday but the 24th-26th. okay great the 17th at 11 works great! I appreciate it so much. yes you as well." these two important documents couldn't of happened at a better time, Leati could be performing, after christmas he could start houseshows as early as next week or the week after! she screamed AHHHHHHHH! as naomi came, around the corner " Girl what got you so wilin," she said as she sat next to her in her chair, " Girl, Leati is so close to coming back i don't know i just got excited i got excited for him. Im nervous for him, i'm excited i'm all a ball of emotions and then, it hits me he's going to be gone what if this is it for us?" Naomi rolled her eyes, " Right. he gon leave you. dip out and say thanks for taking care of me, imma dip though and dip into someone else" girl he not gon do that, that boy is smitten to the core with you, and ya'll sex life is way too hot and bomb for him to just dip. I know, he gon be with you for life". addi laughed, and smiled as the two continued to work. Addi's phone beeped, meaning she got a text she opened her phone, and a smile bigger than a circus came from addi the message read " Hi my sweet thing, I just wanted to tell you, i love you I love the way you make me feel, I love the way when we sleep together, when i get to hold you in my arms and when you roll over your breasts meet my chest, but more importantly nothin sexual baby, but what's most important to me is the way you are with Joelle your patient, your kind, your beautiful, you show her love you show her family. I can't wait to make you mine I can't wait for tonight I can't wait for tomorrow, and the next 100 days to come. See you mi amore tonight" she looked at her phone, and handed it to naomi and nany " what am i supposed to say back to this" as naomi began typing. " I'll be home in 5 minutes by cop escort ;)" as she gave her phone back " Naomi, he's going to think something bad happened, if i send him that!" she laughed and said, " something will happen, handcuffs and you in a hot nurse outfit." which you in a way already have, we can give you breast surery to make those little things, pop for papa." she laughed, and sighed " he does like my small breasts and the way his hand fits over them girl...." she trailed, leaning her head back Naomi laughed " girl, i don't need to know what he does with his hands, and your breasts! If we can finish our work, we all can get out of here, and you can get your third round in" they continued their work laughing through out the day seeing patients, writing up charts as it neared 4:00 Addi had 12 hours in, and decided she was going to leave, she wrote all her charts out turned them in, " girl i'm out, i'll be back in 2 days do you think you can handle this chaos without me" as she reached over naomi 's shoulders and gave her a hug, she smiled and said she could manage. As addi walked out, of the office, and into the parking garage unlocking her, jeep she got in and saw a dozen red roses on the passenger seat, with a note that read " Happy, I Love you day" -- Leati. as she smiled, and checked her phone it wasn't even valentines day is everyday with this man " I Love you day", she turned her car on and backed out, just then her phone rang it was him " Hi sugar, how was your day " he said, She smiled, and said " Thank you for the sweet text, and the gorgeous flowers Leati what am i going to do with you. You're so damn sweet! " she said, with a smile he licked his lips, and said " do me a favor, baby doll just come home, and lets watch a netflix movie, and relax for the night, we can decide what we want for dinner when you come home." she smiled and agreed, she said she would be home soon, they hung up and she concentrated on driving.

arriving home Addison arrived at home, as the garage door began to open she was excited to be home she never would of imagined, all of what leati had she would even share with someone like him. as she unplugged her phone, threw it in her bag grabbed her louis vuitton bag she walked in her house to a complete clean, with soft christmas jazz music playing she, sat her bag down by the door, and walked in the kitchen to where joe and joelle were, making reindeer cookies with pretzles, "Hi Addi we're making reindeer pretzel cookies using the pretzel's for the reindeer antlers". Joelle said, as she smiled Addi came behind leati and licked his ear, " I've missed you all day, Thank you for the sweet flowers today, and that sweet call, and my best lunch ever, i can still smell the lingering sex on you and i" he smiled and turned around and kissed her sweet lips, "Mmmm cotton candy, my favorite" Joelle perked up, "Cotton Candy, where daddy i want some". she smiled at both of them as addi was snuggled up close to him with her head on his shoulder, "Its lip gloss, Joelle, but you can't wear any yet your too young." he said she pouted, "when i'm 50 you can wear, lip gloss and anything you want" he said, brushing it off she laughed and said " So next birthday of yours daddy, right"? he smiled, and laughed "not even close jojo, wrap these pretzles up and go put them away, in the cuppboard you have enough for a whole army! Leati mouthed, "EBT" to addi, she gave him a puzzled look as he laughed at the look, he mouthed JoJo early bed tonight, she smiled and shrugged her shoulders, he shook his head, and mouthed " EBT, to you and me" he smiled as he shut the lights off, from the kitchen and went to the living room to watch a little t.v. he, opened his beer and took a sip as he got back up, he rubbed his lean stomach, he went back to the kitchen, grabbed a bowl and put a handful of chips in, and grabbed the salsa and warmed the salsa up, he came to sit on the couch, as Joelle was doing a craft, at the table Addison called out " Hey Joe, wanna come in here for a minute, I need your help baby." she said as he wiped his crumbs, off his shorts he walked in the kitchen to addison trying to hang garland throughout the kitchen cupboards, "What are you doing baby"? as he leaned, on the doorway, of the kitchen, "hanging this garland, with lights turn the light off, i want to see how it looks." she said as joe turned the light off, it was pitch black, as the garland, hung nicely she stepped down off the kitchen counter, only to be held by this samoan man, "baby, it looks beautiful, but what's more beautiful is you. " she laughed as she struggled to get out of his grasp, she stepped back, after being out of his grip, she admired how her decorating skills were she loved to decorate and when she got the chance to, she took full advantage of it. "I think i'm going to do the windows, with little, slant LED window candles, all around these windows here, What do you think babe?" he nodded and said " Whatever you want to do babe, i'll give you my card and you can just splurge, but what i want you to splurge on also, is something sexy for you. not for me, of course but for you i want you to see and feel how beautiful you truly are, and you deserve it." she smiled up at him, as she was standing in her shorts with her sweater which was white, with brown buttons she loved, dressing cute, and her curves hit her just right with whatever she wore, she didn't always wear scrubs but 80% of her life was made in her scrubs, lets face it Leati loved how easy her scrubs were for him to discard but he did like when she would dress down. as it was nearing, 730, Joe came to the kitchen to check on JoJo, she was making, a macaroni wreath, she found on pinterest with Addi, "see dad, i am almost done, and i can hang it tomorrow in my room on my door", he nodded, as her hands were all covered in green paint, along with sticky fingers due to glue, he was impressed with how well, she was following the decorations, " and we can also, take you to the bath, and get all this paint off of you too, why don't you get it finished and we can do that, and you can have a snack, and go to bed, let me or addi know when your done and we will get you in the bath". she nodded as she was almost finished painting, addi and leati we're on the couch, watching a movie, "You should see, how cool that craft is, It's pretty neat shes covered in green paint which is a plus she loves to paint, I'm glad you showed her that craft, her mom never did crafts, nor did she ever show her crafts. it's nice of you to show her how to do it. you've been so great with her, i don't know what we did to deserve you." Leati said as he kissed her lips, they began kissing, he moved closer to her, on the couch, he deepend the kiss, or so he thought he opened his eye to only see joelle, holding her hands to show them, " I think i'm done daddy." he smiled and said, lets get you in the bath, daddy can you just let addy, help me? he smiled and nodded and said, great idea i'll clean up down here and you two girls get some bonding time. Addi followed her upstairs as addi started the bath for her, she got in the warm water and swam around, and played with her bath toys. As joe was downstairs, he found blitzen, and quickly assisted in making him be in the window near by with the wreath around his neck, as he found a piece of paper, he wrote -- Hi there, Joelle, i saw you made a macaroni wreath, i teird to eat a peaice but coldnt, did u mien to maik it fer me? des it luk guud on me? whoops, i hope, you dint minde that i were it. I am happy yer doing good, keep being gud and i wiell seee youu suun. -- blitzen. he thought to himself, as he wrote it, jesus christ Joe Anoa'i, this is really getting out of hand. but your daughter freaking loves this little scary thing, as he heard addison and Joelle, he walked back into the living room, turning the kitchen light off, he settled back on the couch, catching the end of the georgia tech game, zoning in and out. he heard laughter from his little girl, he thought to himself what could possibly be funny? georgia tech was losing, as he got up he walked upstairs to find addison and joelle playing barbies, " that was a fast bath, are you all clean? " Leati asked, Joelle nodded " Yep, all squeaky too", he laughed and said well, since ya'll are up here, how about i bring ya some cookies and a glass of milk, then we can read you a story and get you to bed little one. " she nodded as the girls continued to play barbies, Leati went downstairs and grabbed a few chocolate chip cookies ,and poured a glass of milk and brought it to the girls, as joelle was getting into her bed, she grabbed a cookie, from the plate and chose the book " the christmas bear" joe grabbed the book, and handed it to JoJo, here i wanna see how good your getting in school, with this reading thing. she smiled as she opened the book, and began reading to addi and leati. As she was done reading, the book she sat the book down and, reached for another cookie, as she did, leati said last cookie she nodded as she snuggled in her bed with her teddy bear that her dad bought her, awhile back. " Addi, are you staying here tonight? or do you have to go to work?" Joelle asked, as addi nodded, "I'm staying the night, is that okay with you sweetie? do you want me to stay over?" JoJo looked, at her dad, and looked at addi "Sure you can stay. you can sleep in my room if you want." as Joe laughed " I think she'll sleep in my room, is that okay JoJo? " her eyed went wide, " WITH YOU" dad? he swallowed hard, and said "Joelle, does it bother you that i sleep with her, and not mommy?" Joelle, nodded but then shook her head in response of 'no', " Joelle the other night, when you woke us up, Addi was in my room, that's who you saw when we said, we were sleeping." as joelle, looked at her dad and said " i just don't understand, why mommy isn't around much, she wasnt even there, when you left. and i don't know daddy", she began to cry as leati sat beside her on her bed and held her, " its okay to feel like that jojo, i know your sad about mommy and i not being around together, it just didn't work. but jojo that doesn't mean mommy and i don't love you, because without you i wouldn't of known mommy. but, now daddy is with addison and she's a pretty cool girl right? hey she showed you that cool craft you made, and she makes the best reindeer cookies ever right? and i think daddy really really likes her, but i have to make sure you really really like her too." As addison left, to go downstairs she knew this day was coming but didn't think it would be so soon. As leati calmed jojo back down she soon drifted off to sleep as he kissed her forhead, she was soon asleep.

10:15pm "I'm really sorry about that Addi. i didn't know she would react like this. " do you think i should sleep in her room? I mean she really, seemed upset about us sleeping together". Joe, shook his head no, they both sat on the couch, with a beer as they watched a movie, addison was quiet most of the night, as Joe sipped his beer, she was thinking, of what happened, and knowing she probably, was going to not, be able to be with Joe, after everything that just happened, with Joelle she told joe she was going to take a hot bath, and head up to bed he smiled, as he grabbed her hand, he kissed the top of her hand as their eyes met, he whispered " it really is going to be okay darlin" she smiled and gave him a kiss on his forehead, " arent ya gonna stay and watch the movie? he said, she shook her head no, and walked upstairs to the bathroom, she shut the door and let a few tears shed, she had no idea why she was crying, he didn't upset her, he didn't harm her, she didn't harm him, she didn't even harm herself, she ran the hot water and started to get undressed, as she heard the door slowly open she wiped her tears and acted as if she was taking her make up off, he saw her as he shut the door, he then too began taking his shorts off and his tank top, "we're in this together addison, listen to me. just listen to me, I have come so far, in my life the bad, the good, the other bad, and the worse, the day i met you. Listen i know you've heard it all, but i'm damn near telling it again, but the day i met you was the day i finally knew who i was supposed to be with, that woman is you, i know its rough being with me, and getting attached to Joelle but we're not going anywhere i can promise you that." as he stepped in the bath, behind her she smiled, as she leaned her head against his broad chest. " I'm the one who should be concerned, about having my daughter seeing us in the bedroom, but in a way i am, i- uh we need to be more self aware, self concious on what we're doing when shes around, but i can promise you, shes happy shes content, she's just confused, I mean she was used to me and galina being in bed together, and well, i don't know for the first time, it was all just new to her. but i have to have that conversation with Joelle, to reassure her that i'm, with you now and me and her mom, are just going to be friends, and with you well we're going to be a family you, myself and joelle." as Addison brushed her fingers against his legs she let out a sigh with a moan, and began " Leati i know we both have said it, and we sound like a couple 90's band records right now, but I know your not going anywhere, and neither am i what happened with you and galina in the past is strictly in the past i would like to have a good relationship with Joelle, I would. I just i don't know what came over with me, I guess just seeing her and remembering how my past was with my parents, and their new relationships just haunted me a bit. i agree with you, we do have to be more cautious, I think this is just a stepping stone, and a barrier i have to get over. Joelle is a great girl, she really is she takes so much after you it's insane, but a good one she's getting older now, and shes realizing what is what, and in a way that scares the hell out of me, but it also enlightens me to see how far we can go with it, ya know"? Leati smiled, and agreed with everything, they said as she turned herself over in the bath, the water sounds swooshing, around them, they both began giving soft kisses here and there, more him than her, " you don't know how bad i'd take you right here, we'd have the water department here, cleaning up this mess, from the water splurging out on the floor, " - he was stopped mid sentance, with a kiss, " you wanna play here, big boy you gotta let me know." she said with a smile. he crooked his head, and said " now? you want this big dog in water filling you with juices mixed with water"? just say the word addi and we're in. with no word being said, she grabbed his cock, and began toying with it rubbing it over her open slit, playing with his balls he tilted his head back and closed his eyes as he began moving his hips, water continued to make waves as she let the water out, his eyes opened as she turned the hot water back on to fill the tub up, he had enough with the teasing, he positioned himself right in her slit with a few frustrated grunts from his mouth he was inside her with no hesitation, he began slowly thrusting, as she turned her head from side to side, he was dominating her in every way possible, the water was over flowing by now, but neither of them seemed to notice or to care it was about the passion and the first ever bath sex, this wasn't rough sex this wasn't even " oops i'm sorry" it was about, becoming new and starting this new chapter, and finding out if they really cared for each other. A few thrusts here and there, happened as leati was just about to cum he stopped and eased out of her already wet slit, he sat up on the ledge as she followed suit, she sat with no warning, right on his already harden dick slammed herself right onto what was already hers and began, bouncing up and down holding onto his shoulder for leverage " I i I 'm not going to last, i'm s-s-orry, as she slammed a few more times each, slam was harder than the last she leaned forward as he pounded her for, what seemed to her a good 20 minutes, she lost count when she leaned forward because within however long he had control, she lost the fight, and came first, "ooh my girl, lost the opening slit battle aye?" As she stood up, she came right back on his lap, exhausted breathing heavily in and out, her breasts and chest we're rising with every breathe she took, " I'm sorry but mam'm i didnt get to cum, I'm truly sorry about your weak ass, in here, but my round isn't up" with that, he had her straddled hooked to his hips he postioned her hands on his thighs, as he began to throw his dick into her wet slit, she couldn't help but scream " My fucking god Joe, My fucking god ohhhhhhhh ohhhhhhh Joe, come on big boy, fuck me harder thats it. that's my samoan" As she licked her finger and drove her finger into her slit she ungodly matched him with his own, within seconds of each other, they both came who came first they weren't keeping score, " Thank you, doc, if this was an evaluation, im sure you and i would ace it" she laughed as she stood up, barely and let the water out by the drain plug, she stumbled out of the bath as leati laughed, she turned around to slap his chest, only to be covered in a towel she wrapped herself as she began combing through her hair, " this was a better bathing experience i ever had, next time i need a bath you're definitely invited" she said with a wink he gave her a kiss, and threw a towel to his back to try off, and threw on his shorts. " Wanna go downstairs, and have a beer? or go to bed"? he said, as he was sitting on the bed, flipping through channels she came in with lotion, as she began to lotion her legs she replied, " whatever you want to do baby". as he pointed the remote to his chest, " whatever i wanna do aye"? he threw the covers back as he patted for her to come next to him, as she turned away to put her towel away, she called out, " black or red" he looked over at her, with a puzzled look, " for what"? he said " leati, just chose black or red" he mumbled something, as she said last chance boy! he chose black, she came out wearing nothing underneath but her silk black robe as his eyes widened, he said " guess we're not going downstairs aye". she got in bed and revealed she was naked under neath, " lets make love leati, none of that fast paced head board hitting, kind of shit you like, I wanna be loved, in lace and touched all over." she said As he yawned, " baby, in case you haven't noticed down below, here we're limp the soldiers have marched to this bed right here to pass out i swear, i'll make you breakfast in bed, with roses, and flowers and myself and jojo will cook you the best breakfast you ever had, -- and then you'll get that desert you want. but please baby, as he yawned, he grabbed her to pull her close throwing his left arm over her side let's just dream of how good that desert is going to be." with that his eyes we're closed and he was on his way to his paradise desert, she leaned back on the pillow situating herself, careful not to wake him, as she too drifted to sleep.

*NEXT MORNING* Joe got up, around 8:00, he noticed how peaceful addison was, and was careful to not wake her. Joelle came in the room, walking slowly standing by the door, Joe mouthed "good morning Joelle, it's okay come here, shes sleeping, see and daddy slept right here on his side it's okay, for me to do this jojo". she smiled and laughed at how messed his hair was, " your hair daddy is crazy." he laughed a quiet laugh as he said, " so is yours, it must run in the family", he playfully stuck his tongue out at her, as he got up, they walked out of the room, as addison started to stir, he quickly shushed joelle and him, as they were safe out of his room. They made their way down to the kitchen, to start breakfast, he grabbed the milk out of the fridge, along with a bowl, and spoon and poured a bowl of cherrios he then, sat with Joelle and ate a bowl of cereal, as they ate, Addison came to the kitchen, she grabbed a bowl and spoon, and came to the table, she poured herself a bowl as well, Joe rubbed his foot, under the table, towards her foot she looked up at him, and smiled as she continued to eat he whispered, "everything ok babe"? he looked at her, with puzzled eyes she nodded, as he went to scoot his chair closer, he began with " you sure you ok? this isn't like you, i'm worried." he said, she looked over at joelle, and then looked back at him, " i just got, the call i have to go back to work tomorrow and i was wanting to surprise you guys with a small vacation, i'm still in the works of gettting a little more leave time because i still have a full week coming, but i don't know if i wanna use it, now I'm just a little worried we're not going to even be able to take a small vacation." he nodded, as he said " you have went out of your way addison, more than you should have for us, let me do something for you, you want your vacation? i want our vacation let me set it up, lets look into it together you go to work tomorrow, save people save their lives and let me save your life, wherever you wanna go we'll go. we can do this, i'll make this happen for you. it's honestly the least i could do". She smiled and nodded as she called work, " yeah hi this addison, i'm a RN on lvl two through six, i'm calling to speak to betty samuelson please thank you" " Hi betty, this is addison I'm calling for my 2 to 3 week schedule, if it's avaliable yeah for sure okay that's good i can definitely, come in and asset her and assist until 6 if you need, okay yeah i will definitely see you then thanks again you as well mhmmm" Joe looked at addison, " you going in?" he asked, she nodded as she got up from the table, he followed her into the bathroom, I'll be out at the latest 6. maybe sooner, she threw her hair up in a high pony tail, topped it off with a headband, and began her make up routine, he nodded and gave her a kiss on her cheek, as he left he went to the bedroom, she came, out wearing her white strapless bra, she grabbed her, dark blue scrub top and white pants Joe looked at her and licked his lips, " you know doc, i really like when your naked and your holding my cock in between those hands of yours, but my god when your in those scrubs you just turn me on even more". she laughed and smiled, " Joe you make me blush stop it! i'll be home by 6, think you can be a good boy and hold out for me."? he nodded and said " uh huh i sure can doc" she patted his chest, and grabbed her coat, and purse and yelled out " Joelle i'll see you tonight, be a good girl and have a good, day". as joe met her at the door, he gave her a kiss.

Hospital. Hello Addison, I wanted to tell you thank you, for coming and helping, i know you've been busy with family and what not I have 3 papers for you to sign off on, as she nodded from her chief nurse she grabbed the pen and noticed Ashley Fleir on one of the tabs, what's she in here for? Nany came bouncing around the corner, "Oh Fleir, um broken finger she was fine she just wanted to stay, over night to weigh out the pain meds etc, but your other boy joeyyy has a paper too" she nodded, as she looked over Joe's paperwork, " DAMNIT!" i need to, see dr. andrews Nany asked what's wrong? something wrong? she shrugged it off, " I'm calling down to surgery to speak to dr andrews I don't even understand, why its taking it so long, for Joe to start going back on the road, we have a vacation we're starting to plan which is fine, and if it's going to be longer were going to plan our vacation." she said " Hello Jane this is me, Addison up at MS2 hows things going down there, ohhh my wow, yeah you guys are swamped haha we're decent up here, we're swamped but it comes in flow, Hey can i have a discussion with Dr andrews if hes avaliable or you, about Joe Anoai' I just got his chart, and i don't understand why hes not cleared. yes i am aware of it, I completely understand that now, Joe is going to be so distraught even more Oh i agree completely yes most definitely 3 weeks top. of course i completely understand Yeah you too, of course we will thank you." Nany stood froze in her chair, as she was watching waiting for addison to drop the phone to get the deets, "Well, what's up he cleared? he can do it? what's going on"? Addison shrugged her shoulders, " I don't know, he has 3 more weeks and he's good to go, now we can just plan our vacation". Nany stopped addison, " why you shruggin and buggin, you get to go on your vacation, and get a possible baby growing in there common girl". addison laughed and got up and went, to do her rounds while walking to her patients she thought to herself where she wanted to go, where did she want to start for a baby, when and if she became pregnant where did she want it to be? She got back from her rounds and noticed Leati standing, at the desk talking to nany " now theres the best nurse around here. there she is, she smiled and laughed off his comics, what broke this time Joe? she asked, as he looked around, and then whispered leaning over the counter, to where she was, he whispered " My Heart, you got someone to look at it"? she leaned in breathing in his scent, she laughed and said " you wanna go over, there to room 3 and someone will assist you, sir as soon as they can" he smiled and nodded and went to room 3 Nany sunk in her chair, with her stethoscope, around her neck she playfully put, it on her chest to check for her heart beat Addison, laughed and said " be on the look out for sterile man." addison laughed and went into the room Joe was, as she walked in, his lips we're on hers faster than anyone had before, tongue's began dancing, as it was heating up, she broke away, " I think your going to be good to go now, Mr Anoai' i do appreciate you coming, in i think you'll be good to go. " he smiled and asked if she was almost done, she looked at her phone, and nodded bout 20 more minutes to an hour, he nodded and said he was going to grab something to eat, from the cafe and he'd be back to pick her up. as addison went to leave, she turned to him, and said " be thinking, of vacation plans Joe". he nodded as he left for, the cafe', as he picked a slice of pizza, 2 tuna salad sandwhiches and a blueberry muffin as he was paying for his meal, his phone was ringing, " Hello, this is joe" Hi babe, yeah i'm down here at the cafe' where are you? are you two okay? babe i'm coming up right now, call the police now understand me. call them now. i'm coming up right now! as he came up to the MSA- 2 floor, there were two intruders as joe, threw his food on a near by table "DROP THE GUNS. the police have been called, as the intruder drew his gun to joe, Joe went forit, and speared the one guy as nany screamed the cops we're there as Joe held the one guy in a headlock, the cops assisted the two intruders and arrested them both. As joe went over to addison, she fell in his arms crying, as nany comforted addison. the chief assistant, thanked joe for his service and fast thinking, as shook up the girls we're the chief assistant, excused them to leave as nany's fiance came to pick her up, Addison and Joe soon left to go home. " I don't even know how, to think, Joe tonight, I really don't I don't know, that was my first scare at the hospital. I think i just want to stay home tonight, and be with you. I don't know if i were able to know what to do without you. thank you baby for still being here, thank you for saving us." she said, as joe kissed her forhead, and held her hand on the drive home, I think i'm going to call my parents, babe and have her keep Joelle for the night. I think it's going to be, for the best. as he touched his radio, he motioned his phone, to call his mom, " hey mom. what's going on how are you? yeah i know, been a bit busy i miss you guys too, for sure, Hey reason i was calling i need a favor, if you guys can keep Joelle i can bring her by for the night, Uh yeah something happened with Addison today at the hospital, and we just need to be alone for the night, yeah very very, shes okay she's just shook up and she doesn't want to seem, that way in front of her, for sure mom thank you so much". they hung up as they came to joe's house, Jey was with Joelle, as addison went inside the house, Jey asked " what's wrong with her? uce you done made her mad. Joe shook his head, no uce, 2 intruders came in with guns, at the hospital messed up, honestly she's just a bit shook." jey's eyes went wide, "Ohhhhh shit. uce, damn." as joe said, " yeah uh you wanna, do me a huge favor, you wanna take Joelle to my parents for me, so i don't have to leave addison. Jey nodded and said for sure, for sure, joe then thanked him, as they packed Joelle's bag she was fine with going to grandma's she loved it at grandma's and joe was thankful that his mom was there, when he needed her. " Listen, your going to go to grandma's for the night nothings wrong, Addison just had a very bad day at work, and shes a little sad so daddy needs to take care of her, okay". Joelle smiled, and said " sure daddy, I like grandma and papa's its fun there, but daddy if you go shopping for me, with addy make sure to get those, cool socks okay." he said, i don't think we're gonna be doing any shopping baby girl but okay we will keep that in mind, why dont you go in the bedroom, and give addison a hug and you and jey will go to grandma and papa's okay. she nodded, as she went in the bedroom, Joelle, walked in and said "Hi Addison, i just wanted to give you a hug, and tell you i love you." Addison turned around, and reached her hands out for a hug, she picked joelle up and embraced her hug, and held her tight " Joelle , i just want to tell you i love you. and you're so special to me, and to daddy. You do know, i love you right?" Joelle nodded and smiled, and said she loved her too. As Jey and Joelle walked outside, they soon left for Joe's mom and dad's.

As, Joe and Addison layed in bed Joe held her close to her occasionally rubbing her back, as she was just in her shorts, and her strapless bra, she was so scared at everything she saw during the night, every move, every noise she jumped. She wasn't like this, before but the intruders made her scared. " I'm thinking you need to have a gun, here. I know your not about it but if i'm on the road, and your in the house your going to need protection,not only for yourself, but for joelle as well". Addison shook her head, and said " I dont' want a gun. I don't need a gun, And i'm not about it Joe, I can't do it." she said, as joe nodded It wouldnt be anything fancy, just a small one she sighed and said she would think about it. but she really just wanted to sleep. as joe, rolled over and grabbed her close to him, she nuzzled into his skin and beard and soon fell asleep.

this was an extremely ass long chapter. I wasnt sure how i would feel, about putting, the gunman in the chapter, but i like it in a way, I know addison didn't but it added excitement. Please do stay tuned, everythings in a way about to be changing for the hospital with addison, where, are they going to go and is it too soon for a "Vacation"?

#of all #lavitabella87 #wwesensualfanfics #chapter 5 #lindsey writes #roman reigns #personal #wwe #story #the usos #etc

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voyagerafod · 7 years

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Star Trek Voyager: A Fire of Devotion: Part 1 of 4: Louder Than Sirens: Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight

Seven of Nine was surprisingly calm when she entered sickbay. She’s heard that Samantha Wildman, like much of the crew, had been hurt when the ship had attempted to pass through a nearby nebula, the radiation causing burns and sores. But Samantha herself had been the one to contact her, to let her know the burns were minor, and that Naomi, while scared, had not been hurt at all. She saw Samantha getting off the bio-bed and helping a much more severely injured crewman, an Ensign named Dell who had been very helpful in helping Seven build a resonance chamber a few weeks prior, on to it. “Hi,” Samantha said when she saw Seven. “Ah good, you’re here,” the Doctor said, shoving a dermal regenerator into Seven’s hand without asking first. “You’re needed on the bridge, I’m too short-handed down here to go myself. I had to draft Ensign Wildman to help me.” “Of course Doctor, I just wanted to check in on her first,” Seven said. “I’m good Annie, but you should get the bridge. And hurry, it sounded like they got some of the worst of it.” “Very well,” Seven said, offering the Doctor a polite nod and smiling at Samantha as she headed out.

When Seven got to the bridge with the regenerator, she sighed as she saw that for one gold shirted crewman was already dead, his face burned beyond recognition. “Damn,” she muttered. “Do we know what caused this?” Janeway said. “I believe the Doctor will know once he’s finished treating the wounded,” Seven said as she began applying the dermal regenerator to an injured Ensign. “Whatever it was, it would appear to have affected everyone except the Doctor and myself.” “Hopefully that will give us a way to counteract this,” Janeway said. “That nebula is so big it would take a year to go around, I don’t want to add that much time to the trip home.” “Captain,” Seven said. “As a result of the course adjustments we made with the new astrometrics lab we already took five years off the flight plan. Even with an extra year, that is still a net loss of time spent in the Delta Quadrant.” “Don’t forget the six months we had to add to get around the Krenim,” Janeway said. “Even so Captain-” “I’m not ready to give up on finding a safe way through that nebula just yet Seven. If there’s no way through, we’ll go around but we have to try.” “Understood,” Seven said.

---

A few hours later, Janeway entered astrometrics where Seven of Nine was figuring out just how large the nebula ahead of them was. “Report,” she said. Seven immediately brought the data up on the viewscreen. “It is approximately one hundred and ten light years wide,” she said. “You were correct that going around it would take over a year. Through it would take almost one month, if we could find a way to inoculate against the subnucleonic radiation.”

“Subnucleonic radiation?” Janeway said. “That’s what hurt us?” “Correct. I have passed that information along to the Doctor. If he is unable to find a medical solution, going around is the only viable option.” “We have traveled fifteen thousand light years. We haven't been stopped by temporal anomalies, warp core breaches, viruses, or hostile aliens. It’ll be a cold day in Hell if we're going to be stopped by a goddamn nebula. I’ll be in sickbay. Keep finding out what you can about this thing."

“Yes Captain,” Seven said as Janeway stormed out.

Once she got to sickbay, she didn’t even need to ask the Doctor for his report, as he began relaying what he’d learned. “I’ve analyzed samples of the nebula’s gases,” he said. “Subnucleonic radiation,” Janeway said. “Seven already informed me. She said you were working on a possible inoculation for it.”

“I appreciate her vote of confidence, but I’m afraid that’s just not possible. But, I think I have found a solution that will keep us from adding to add another year to our journey home.” “That was quick,” Janeway said. “It helped that part of this idea came from another idea I was working on that I was able to modify,” the Doctor walked over to one of the consoles in his office and tapped a few buttons. “Stasis chambers,” he said. “Independent life support for each unit.” Janeway was shocked at what she was seeing. “Are you seriously suggesting we put the entire crew in suspended animation?” “Yes. I, of course, would stay on-line to monitor everyone. And since Seven of Nine was unaffected, she can assist me in handling the day to day operations of the ship until we’ve passed through the nebula.” “This seems like a pretty desperate move, Doctor. Are you sure you’ve considered all other options?” Janeway said, hating the idea of having to sleep for an entire month, let alone leaving her first command in the hands of a hologram and an ex-Borg. “I have considered other options Captain. We really only have two if we intend to continue heading home. Go around, or this. The former is the safest of these two options but I know you too well to even try and push for it.” Janeway sighed, closed her eyes, and tapped her comm badge. “Janeway to Seven of Nine, report to sickbay.” “On my Captain,” Seven replied.

“I appreciate your efforts Doctor. Get to work getting enough stasis units ready.” “Understood,” the Doctor said.

---

“I’d be lying if I said didn’t have concerns,” Seven of Nine said as she rubbed Samantha Wildman’s shoulders. “Most humanoid species do not react well to long-term isolation. Captain Janeway is correct that, as a former Borg drone, this will be even more difficult for me. She expressed concern if I could handle it if the Doctor were to go offline due to a malfunction.” “I think you can do it,” Samantha said softly, leaning back to rest her head on Seven’s chest. “I know you can do it Seven,” Naomi said, looking up from her book. “You and the Doctor are the smartest people I know, you can do anything!” Seven chuckled at Naomi’s enthusiastic smile, even as Samantha pretended to be offended at having been excluded from her daughter’s ‘smart people’ list. Seven watched as Samantha got up and went to help Naomi get ready for the stasis tubes. I have never had so many doubts about my abilities before, she thought. The whole crew will be counting on me and the Doctor to get them through this alive, but it’s them I’m most worried for.

“Remember sweetie,” Samantha said to Naomi, “we need to be at the cargo bay by 1700 hours, so now’s the time to pick which of your stuffed animals you wanna bring with you. You can only bring two.” “Okay Mom,” Naomi said, getting off the floor and going to her room.

Seven got off the couch and hugged Samantha from behind, now resting her head on Samantha’s back. “It’s going to be a long month,” she said.

“You can do this Annie,” Samantha replied. “In the past year you have helped saved this ship several times, adapted to being cut off from the Borg collective, built the best astrometrics lab any Starfleet ship has ever had, and managed to start a dare-I-say successful romantic relationship despite lacking any practical experience. Even if something does go wrong with the Doctor, you’ll get us to the other side of that nebula.” “I hope your confidence in me is not misplaced,” Seven said, which was as close as she could bring herself to admitting her fears even to the being on this ship she trusted most. “Don’t call it confidence, call it faith,” Samantha said.

“Nonetheless,” Seven said. “While the Doctor and I are under orders to monitor the crew’ vital signs four times day, I think I may try to sneak in a few extra sessions for you and Naomi in between my regular duties.” “Don’t do anything reckless on our account babe,” Samantha said. “Just keep the ship safe, and in a month we’ll wake up feeling like we just had a nice long nap.” “Once we have completed the mission,” Seven said. “I think I will finally take you up on your offer of the holodeck program you talked about.” Samantha sighed contentedly at that. “Oh, you will love it, Annika. Santa Fe is one of the few cities on Earth that has most of it’s pre-Eugenics Wars buildings still standing. I got to see it on a class trip when I was in high school and I loved it, but I haven’t been back since I graduated. I just hope I get to show you the real thing someday.” “I look forward to it,” Seven said.

---

At 1700, the crew began entering the stasis pods, with Seven and the Doctor overseeing them. The command staff were among the first to enter, although Tom Paris was showing reluctance. “Do I detect a hint of claustrophobia Lieutenant?” the Doctor said. Tom laughed nervously. “I just don’t know why they have to design these things like coffins,” he said. “Whatever,” Harry Kim said. “I’m just looking forward to what is probably going to be my best sleep in months. If you like I’m sure Seven of Nine would be willing to replicate you a teddy bear.” “That would not be necessary,” Seven said. “Naomi will be leaving a number of her stuffed animals behind, I’m sure I could convince her to loan one to Mr. Paris.” Harry laughed at that. The Doctor grinned, and Captain Janeway turned to hide her face from Seven’s view, presumably stifling a laugh of her own. “Bite me Seven,” Tom said. “Considering you’re dating a Klingon that was a poor choice of words,” Seven said. From the other side of the cargo bay she could hear B’Elanna laughing now too. “Don’t encourage them,” Tom said, shaking his head. He turned to face Seven. “This is payback over the whole ‘language’ thing isn’t it?”

“Sleep tight,” the Doctor said, as Harry and finally Tom got in their respective pods, the doors closing over them. Soon, only Janeway was left, having told Seven earlier that she would go in last.

“I’m leaving this ship in good hands,” Janeway said as she climbed into her own pod. “I have every confidence in both of you.” The Doctor grinned. Seven simply nodded. “Thank you Captain,” she said. “And thank you for insuring that the Wildman’s pods were close to my alcove. I had not even considered asking.” “I thought having them nearby might make this a little easier on you. Feel free to talk to them. They won’t hear you in the pods of course, but it’s not for their benefit. Trust me on this,” Janeway said.

Once Janeway’s pod was sealed, the Doctor turned to Seven. “Well,” he said. “It’s just the two of us now.” “Indeed,” Seven said.

---

"Personal log, Seven of Nine, stardate 51929.3. This is the tenth day of our journey through the nebula. I've created an efficient daily routine. Having a set list of regular tasks to perform and a deadline to accomplish them, even if it self-imposed, has been helpful thus far, though with it only being less than two weeks in, I am concerned that declaring victory over isolation would be premature. The human term for it is ‘jinxing.’ Superstitious perhaps, but there is is historical precedent for early pronouncements of accomplishment leading to undesirable outcomes.

“I have taken to adding a flavor called pumpkin spice to my standard nutritional supplement, as per Ensign Wildman’s suggestion. Mr. Neelix would likely not approve, given he tends to operate his kitchen in a fashion not unlike the brutal dictators of early 20th century Earth, and he does not grow any of these pumpkins in the aeroponics bay, thus I am replicating it. I find I rather like it, though not as much as when Samantha uses it in her cooking. Still, I think this will be a regular occurrence. Speaking of Sam, I have taken the captain’s advice and when I can, I will occasionally sit between her and Naomi’s pods, and talk to them. It is frivolous of course, but also oddly comforting. I look forward to seeing them again once we have passed this nebula.

“One note of concern; I have on occasion found myself saying ‘Thank you’ to the ship’s computer after it performs a task I have ordered it to. I hope I am not becoming emotionally attached to it. Perhaps it is an early symptom of some form of isolation sickness. I will speak to the Doctor about it upon completion of this entry.

“End log.”

---

On her way to sickbay, Seven of Nine found Tom Paris lying on the floor, unconscious in the doorway to the cargo bay.

“Not again” she groaned. “Seven of Nine to the Doctor,” she said after tapping her comm badge. “Mr. Paris?” “Correct. I am beginning to suspect adding the ability to open the pods from the inside was a mistake.” “A necessary safety feature. At least so far he seems to be the only one abusing it. I’m on my way. Get him back into his pod as quick as you can.” “I know the drill,” she said. She tapped the badge again, and put her arms under Tom’s and dragged him to his feet. “Samantha would think less of me for being this selfish, but I must admit I find myself resentful of your claustrophobia. Lucky for me you can’t hear me right now.”

Once Tom was back in his pod, she closed the door to it, just in time for the Doctor to arrive. “Vital signs?” he asked. “I was just about to check,” she said, going to the console on the back of the pod. “They are stable. No signs of any permanent damage.” “Well that’s good at least. I wish I’d known before we put him in there the first time how severe his claustrophobia actually was.”

“Indeed. Having to reinter him at least once every several days frequently forces me to alter my daily routine,” Seven said. “Well, that might not be such a bad thing. Routine is a double edged sword, it can as easily become a source of frustration as it can as source of stability.” Seven sighed, not wanting to admit the Doctor was right, but knowing that he most likely was. “I’d suggest more social interaction training on the holodeck, but you keep finding loopholes in my lessons.” “The social lessons are frivolous. You claim they are to help me learn how to interact with the crew properly, yet I would point out that without such programs I was still able to start a romantic relationship, and I even on occasion dine with the crew in the mess hall. I think you only force me into these programs because you can’t accept the fact that I am growing in my humanity faster than you prepared for, and you don’t want these holodeck programs you designed for me to go to waste. You failed to predict the pace of my emotional growth. Accept it, and move on.”

“How you interact with most of the crew would be acceptable for a Vulcan, but that’s not what I’m trying to teach-” The ship shuddered, cutting the Doctor off, much to Seven of Nine’s relief. “Warning: Emergency procedures are in effect,” the computer’s voice said. “Computer,” the Doctor said, “What is the nature of the emergency?”

“The antimatter storage tanks are failing.” Seven and the Doctor shared a look of concern, and bolted for the exit. As soon as they reached the door to engineering, Seven began tapping on one of the consoles next to it to see just what was going wrong. “We’ve got to eject the antimatter tanks,” she said, deciding to spare the Doctor the exact details of, as her human crewmates would put it, precisely how screwed they were. “We’ll need to coordinate the effort,” the Doctor said. “You go into engineering, I’ll head to the bridge.”

---

When Seven of Nine opened the door to engineering, she was braced for the worst, expecting to see the room flooded with plasma, worried that she wouldn’t be able to eject the tanks except possibly at the cost of her own life. But what she saw instead was the room exactly as it was when she last inspected it.

“This is mildly confusing,” she muttered under her breath. She stepped further inside, looking for any sign of the crisis the computer was reporting,

“Bridge to Seven,” she heard the Doctor’s voice say, sounding panicked. “I’m here,” she replied. “It’s worse than we thought. Engineering is flooded with plasma. Are you already-” “Doctor, there’s nothing happening here.”

“What? But internal scanners show, wait, there’s another alarm. Seven, the hull is breaching, get out!” “Doctor, I am in engineering right now. You left me right outside the door, remember? There is no plasma leak, no hull breach. We’ve received a false alarm. Stand down.”

“Are you certain?”

Seven sighed and rolled her eyes. “No Doctor. I am in fact dead and my ghost is feeding you false information.” There was a pause. “Well, at least we know your sense of sarcasm is developing normally,” the Doctor said.

---

“The subnucleonic radiation from the nebula has begun to affect the bio-neural gel packs,” the Doctor said, looking at console in engineering.” As a result, the computer is detecting false signals relating to the warp core.”

“I have already determined the location of the damaged packs,” Seven said. “And I have a repair kit ready.”

“Good work, Seven. Let’s go.”

The two crawled into a nearby Jeffries tube, ready to get to work. The last thing either of them wanted was another false alarm, or worse, a real crisis not being detected until it was too late. “These tubes weren’t designed with comfort in mind were they?” the Doctor said as they crawled along. “No, they were not,” Seven said. “Complaining about it now though accomplishes nothing. We can access sequence six-theta-nine from the junction just ahead. That’s where the damaged gel packs are.”

“Got it,” the Doctor said. Seven of Nine quickly got the panel off, and removed the damaged gel pack, which the Doctor immediately began scanning with his tricorder. “I’ll want to get this one back to sickbay for further study.” “Of course,” Seven said.

“Well, this journey certainly hasn’t been boring has-” the Doctor began to appear fuzzy. “Your mobile emitter must’ve been damaged,” Seven said, not hiding the concern in her voice. “We need to get you back to sickbay, quickly.” “Hurry, we may lose my program if we don’t.”

“Don’t panic, it’s counterproductive,”

“Easy for you to say,” the Doctor said. Once they were out of the Jeffries tube, the two ran as fast as they could, reaching sickbay just before the Doctor’s mobile emitter gave out.

“Hand me the emitter,” she said. The Doctor did so, and she began scanning it. After a few moments, she took in a deep breath. “The emitter has been damaged by the nebula in the same way as the gel packs. I’m afraid you can no longer leave sickbay.” “I was afraid of that. That means it’ll be up to you to take care of everything on the ship.” “I can do this Doctor,” Seven said. “I will ensure this ship makes it through the nebula.” “Do whatever it takes to help the ship,” the Doctor said. “But don’t forget to take care of yourself too. We can’t afford to have either Voyager or yourself break down when we’ve still got weeks to go.”

---

“Personal log, Seven of Nine, stardate 51932.4. The twenty-ninth day in the nebula. I believe I'm beginning to feel the effects of this prolonged isolation. My dreams have been... disturbing, but I'm determined to fulfill my responsibilities. With the Doctor confined to sickbay, I have taken on increasing duties. Ship's systems are beginning to require constant maintenance in order to avert disaster. This morning I must... purge the auxiliary plasma vents.

“This increase in the amount of responsibility for me has meant I’ve not been able to spend time talking to Sammy or Naomi when I check on their stasis chambers. I regret having referred to it as frivolous in an earlier entry. I took it for granted, the comfort that it brought me. Perhaps if I finish the vents early, I can check in on them early.

“End log."

---

Seven entered the bridge and went over to the helm controls, as she usually did at this time of day, to see if there was a need to adjust course. There usually was, and today was no different. “Computer,” she said, grateful that she’d be hearing at least one voice other than her own or the Doctor’s. “trim heading by .31 degrees port.” No response. “Computer? Computer respond. Trim heading by .31 degrees port!”

The computer took several, long, agonizing seconds to respond. When it did, the voice was slow, and eventually cut out altogether, ending on “Unable to comply.” Seven sat down at the helm and did the course correction manually, then ordered the computer to diagnose itself. It provided a text report on a nearby monitor, showing that one-third of the gel pack relays were non-functional. After uttering a number of curse words she’d learned from various crewmembers, she had the computer perform a rerouting of processor signals to bypass the affected gel packs. She went over to the turbolift and stepped in. “Astrometrics,” she said tentatively, half worried that the turbolifts would suddenly stop working. Mercifully, the lift worked perfectly. As soon as she got to astrometrics, she began doing long range scans.

“Display Voyager’s current position within the nebula,” she said. The screen adjusted to show her the information. “How long until we exit the nebula?” “Six days, five hours,” the computer replied, the rerouting of the processor signals having worked. “Six days,” Seven said. “That, does not seem too long.”

Seven, a bit more confident now, returned to her plans for the day and headed off to engineering. Along the way however, she heard something that made her stop in her tracks. It took her a moment to process, but it sounded like cries of pain. And the person it sounded like they were coming from was Lieutenant Paris. “Dammit Tom, why now?” she groaned. She walked as fast as she could towards the noise, but saw nothing there. She went to Deck 14, but all was as it should be. Tom’s pod showed no sign of having been recently opened. She was about to head to sickbay, to ask the Doctor to do an examination on her, when the proximity alert alarm went off.

Feeling less like a Borg now than ever, she threw up her arms in frustration. “What fresh Hell are you visiting on me now Voyager?!” she yelled as she stormed out of the cargo bay. “Please restate the question,” the computer said. “Never mind. Are we being hailed by the approaching ship?” “Affirmative.” “Open a channel.” “Channel opened.” “This is the Federation starship Voyager. State your identity.”

“My name is Trajis Lo-Tarik. I’m in need of a microfusion chamber. Would you consider a trade?” “Why are you in this nebula?” she said, suspicious of the alien on the other end of the communication. “Trying to get through it, same as you I wager.” Seven thought about it for a moment. “Do you have liquid helium?” she said. “As a matter fact,” Trajis said. “I’ve got an ample supply. Today’s your lucky day.” “That is debatable. I will beam you directly to one of our cargo bays.”

“I didn’t get your name, Captain,” Trajis said. “I am only the acting commander of this vessel. My designation is Seven of Nine.” “Seven of Nine eh? Okay then. Meet you in your cargo bay.” Seven of Nine could hear Samantha’s voice in her mind calling the man she was speaking to a creep, but couldn’t quite put into words why the man’s tone made her feel so uncomfortable. When she got to the cargo bay, Trajis was leaning against one of the secured, empty cargo containers. “You must be Seven of Nine,” he said. “That is correct,” she said.

“That’s an unusual name, even for an alien,” he said. “How did you get it?” “It was my Borg designation.” “Borg? Never heard of ‘em. You alone on this ship?” A phaser, a phaser, my kingdom for a phaser, Seven thought, paraphrasing something she’d heard the Doctor say once, something to do with horses.

“No. The crew is in stasis, and our Doctor is in sickbay,” she said. “Same is true of my co-pilot on my ship. Luckily, I happen to be resistant to the effects of the nebula.” Although Seven was feeling uncomfortable with the man’s proximity to her, she decided to ask the next question on her mind anyway. “What about your technology? The radiation has been damaging to ours,” she said. “I’ve had to rebuild my engines twice already. If you’ve been in here for three weeks, you’re already doing better than I’ve been.” “I am hopeful our propulsion system will remain operational for the next six days,” Seven said, again moving away from Trajis while not trying to appear rude. Forget being rude, her inner voice told her. This guy is dangerous and you know it. Get him off the ship already.

“I must admit,” Trahis said, disrupting Seven’s train of thought. “I was surprised to see another ship in here. No one has ever managed to completely cross the nebula.” “If it weren’t a necessity we wouldn’t have even attempted,” she said.

“I’m here by choice,” he said, standing a few feet further away now much to Seven’s relief. “I’m determined to be the first to cross. I’ve tried five times before and failed. This time I’m sure I’ll make it. I want to see what's the other side.”

“I can assure you it’s nothing remarkable,” Seven said.

“But I’ll be the first of my kind to see it.” Tarjis got closer again as Seven opened the lid on a container that she believed had a microfusion chamber in it. If it did, that meant that this man would be gone that much faster. “Tell me,” he said. “How are you dealing with the loneliness?” Seven nearly shuddered at that. “What do you mean?” she said.

“You know what I mean. No matter what you say, you’re all alone here. The isolation in this vast space must be unbearable. I’ve heard that drones can't stand being alone, severed from the Collective.” “You just told me that you had never heard of the Borg before,” Seven said, sternly. Her hand reaching for a nearby spanner. “I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” “How about we get something to eat instead?” he said. “No,” Seven said, now brandishing the spanner like a club. “Hmm. And here I was just making idle conversation. I guess you aren’t that worried about the consequences of loneliness.” “I’m escorting you to the transporter room,” she said. Trajis shrugged, then went out the cargo bay ahead of her. While escorting him to the transporter room thought, she thought she heard Tom Paris calling for help again. Reflexively, she looked around, but saw nobody. She then turned to Trajis to make sure he didn’t try to get the drop on her, but he was gone. She ran in the direction he may have headed and saw a shadow moving.

“Seven of Nine to the Doctor. We have an intruder.”

---

In sickbay, The Doctor scanned for but found no alien life form aboard or the ship he came from. “It is possible he has some sort of cloaking technology,” Seven said. “Agreed,” the Doctor said. “However even though I’m making progress on my mobile emitter, I still cannot leave sickbay. You’ll need to arm yourself and track this Lo-Tarik character down alone.” Seven nodded. “Understood.” “You look uncertain,” The Doctor said. “I will do what must be done,” Seven said. “As I have said on multiple occasions since we entered this nebula I can do this. I can’t let Sam down. She put in her faith in me, and I intend to show her that it was not misplaced.”

The Doctor wasn’t sure he believed Seven was telling him the whole truth. He was certain she was afraid and was trying to hide. Before he could offer up any words of encouragement, the garbled voice of the computer cut him off.

“Warning: Deuterium tank levels are fluctuating beyond acceptable tolerance levels.”

“It’s likely Trajis has something to do with that,” Seven said. “I will obtain a phaser rifle.”

“Good luck,” the Doctor said, watching with concern as Seven of Nine left sickbay.

---

Seven moved cautiously through the corridors, gripping her phaser rifle tightly. She could hear the echoing voices of crew members calling for help, but pushed them aside, assuming they were hallucinations like the ones she’d experienced earlier today. The hardest voice to ignore though was Samantha’s, but that voice was cut off.

“Seven of Nine. That’s an unusual name. How did you get it?” Trajis said, taunting her over the ship’s comm system.

She refused to answer. “Okay then Seven of Nine, if you don’t wanna chat, I’ll go ahead and collapse the structural integrity around the warp coils. That should be fun.” Seven gasped, and ran towards engineering, but she got there, he wasn’t. She looked around to see if he done anything, but could find no sign that he’d been here at all. “Where are you, you son of a bitch?” she muttered. The ship’s comm unit chirped. “I couldn’t bring myself to destroy your nice little ship,” Trajis’s voice said. Suddenly, the lights went down. “I hope you aren’t afraid of the dark.” “Where are you?” Seven said, sneering as she spoke.

“Good, finally some conversation. That’s going to make this much more fun. For me anyway. I’m on your bridge by the way. I can do just about anything I want from up here.” “Very well,” Seven said as she began working on one of the engineering consoles. “I will play your game. What’s next?” “Excellent. Okay. Hypothetical time. Say I activated one of your photon torpedoes

but didn’t eject it.” “I would have to get to the torpedo launch tube quickly to disable it.” “And even then you might be too late.” “How about this game? Let’s pretend that I’m draining oxygen from the bridge. What do you suppose the results of that might be?” “What? How, uh, I can’t…” Trajis began gasping. Within seconds he was silent. “Game over you bastard,” Seven said, indulging in a trait she’d witnessed among many humans; that of uttering some sort of sarcastic comment or pun over a defeated enemy. “Computer, seal the bridge with a level three force field,” she added as an extra precaution. “Seven of Nine to the Doctor,” she said. “Doctor here.” “I have subdued the alien.” “Excellent work. I have my mobile emitter back on-line. Where are you?” “Engineering.” “I’ll be right there. I have interesting news about the neural gel-packs.” “Acknowledged,” Seven said, getting up from the seat at the console and heading for the door. It opened sooner than she expected given the distance between sickbay and engineering. She was prepared to ask the Doctor about the gel-packs, only to see Trajis standing in the doorway.

“You knew you’d see me again,” he said. Seven immediately raised her phaser rifle and fired, but the energy just passed through him like he wasn’t there. “You can’t beat me little girl. You’re too weak.” “Stay where you are,” Seven said as forcefully as she could manage. “You really thought you could become human didn’t you?” “Stop!” “You even took a lover. Because that’s what humans do right? They find a boy, or a girl, or someone who hasn’t figured it out yet, and start a relationship with them?” “Stay away,” Seven said, her hands actually shaking now as Trajis got closer. “But you can’t be in love. That’s not who you are. You’re Borg.” Seven suddenly saw out the corner of her eye the familiar blue of Voyager’s warp drive turn green, like the lights inside a Borg cube. “One of many. You were powerful as part of the Collective but now you are alone. Weak. Pathetic. You’re a novelty to Samantha. A curiosity to Naomi. An object of lust for Harry. An annoyance to the Doctor. A pet for the Captain. You aren’t truly a part of this crew, and you never will be.” “Don’t come any closer or I’ll kill you,” Seven yelled. “Seven?” she heard the Doctor say, but she wouldn’t turn to look in his direction, keeping her eyes on Trajis. “Don’t come any closer Doctor, he’s dangerous,” she said through gritted teeth.

“Seven, who are you talking to?” Seven was so perplexed by that statement she actually did turn to look at the Doctor for a brief moment. When she turned back Trajis was gone, and the warp core was blue again. “Where did he go?” she said. “He was right here.” “Seven, there’s no one here, I promise you. You were alone when I entered, pointing that rifle at thin air.” Seven looked around, and realized he was right. She shook her head. “He wasn’t real. Just like the crew crying for help wasn’t real,” she said, not wanting to open her eyes, just wanting to crawl into a stasis pod of her own for the next six days so it could just be over. “I’m going crazy from the isolation, just as the Captain feared.”

“Not exactly. When I studied the gel-pack, I discovered the radiation was producing a degradation in the packs' synaptic relays. I believe that the radiation is doing the same to your Borg implants, altering the neurotransmitter level in your sensory nodes. “Can you modify the implants to stop the hallucinations?” Seven said. “I can.” “Then do so. Quickly, please.” Seven took a few deep breaths, trying to calm down. She could still feel her heart racing, though in the pleasant way it did whenever Samantha touched her. “Once, when I was still a drone, I was cut off from the Collective for several hours as the result of an accident. I remember feeling fear then. I am experiencing the same fear and panic now.” “I’ll do everything I can to help you. Let’s go back to sickbay. perhaps an anti-psychotic will help, at least I can figure out which neural pathways are being affected.” “Thank you, Doctor.” Seven said. “I will meet you in sickbay. There’s just something I need to get first.” “Of course,” the Doctor said. With that, Seven headed towards Samantha Wildman’s quarters. She went inside, and was tempted to just crawl into the main bed and wait out the next six days, but she knew she couldn’t. But she knew that, as illogical as it was, she needed something from the room to carry with her for the remainder of the voyage, something to help keep her grounded in reality. She saw one of Naomi’s stuffed animals on the back of the couch; a pink hippopotamus that the Captain had given Naomi on her last birthday. Seven went over and picked it up. Something of Sam’s might’ve been a better choice, but Seven found the doll’s softness comforting. She turned around, hippo in hand, and left the room, heading for sickbay.

---

Samantha’s eyes fluttered as her stasis pod opened. Her muscles felt a little weak, but otherwise she felt quite rested, just as the Captain and the Doctor had promised. She started to get out of the pod, but found that her arms just weren’t cooperating with her just yet. She felt a strong grip on her shoulder, and she looked up to see a tired looking but smiling Seven of Nine.

“Hey you,” Seven said softly. “Welcome back to the land of the living.” “Hey, Annie. I take it this means we made it.” Seven sighed. “Had I not just experienced the worst week of my life, this would be where I made a sarcastic comment.” Samantha frowned. “Annie, what’s wrong?” “I’ll tell you later. Right now, I am just so glad to have you back. The senior staff is already up, the Doctor is helping them wake up the rest, but I wanted to wake you up myself. I figured we could bring Naomi out of stasis together. Then all three of us could spend some time in that Santa Fe simulation you were talking about for awhile, Like, maybe forever.”

Samantha moved her feet around a little, putting them on the floor slowly, a bit concerned about putting any weight on them even though Seven was still holding on to her. She knew Seven wouldn’t let her fall over, but it wasn’t her dignity she was concerned with at that moment.

“Sounds like you have quite a story to tell me,” she said. “Once the anti-psychotics the Doctor had to give me finally wear off, I’ll be able to tell you,” Seven said. Samantha titled her head. “I’m sorry, could you repeat that last part?” she said.

“It has been a very bad week,” Seven said. Samantha smiled sadly, and kissed Seven on the lips. “Well, it’s over now.” “Awww,” she heard a voice from a few rows of stasis pods over. Seven rolled her eyes.

“Shut up, Brooks,” Samantha said. “According to Ensign Kim we had to bunk with Ensign Brooks during the alternate timeline when the ship was damaged. Apparently we could barely tolerate her then either.” “Hey, I can’t help it that you two are adorable,” the red-shirted Ensign said as she climbed out of her own pod.

“As Mr. Paris would say, bite me.” Seven said. Samantha chortled. “My, you’re a little punchy tonight,” she said. “As I’ve said twice already Samantha, I-” “Had a bad week, yeah. Well, as soon as we can get some alone time I think I know just the trick to help relieve the tension.” “I look forward to it,” Seven said. “Just do me a favor and don’t use the word ‘game’ for a while. I’ll explain later.”

#a fire of devotion #chapter eight #part 1 #star trek voyager #fan fiction #sam7

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