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mings · 3 years

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Some context...

...in relation to that last post. This is a lo-o-o-o-ong read, so feel free to skip right by if catharsis bores you.

This starts way before I joined tumblr; in fact, long before tumblr was even a thing.

Twenty years ago, we lived in a huge house backing onto the English Channel. We moved there from Scotland, which turned out to be (probably) the biggest mistake of my life.

Within nine months of buying the place, the company I’d moved to work for nearly folded. I and most of the workforce were made redundant. That set in motion an existential battle with our mortgage insurer, which refused to pay out because I “must have known” when taking out the insurance. (I didn’t, and they eventually caved in after destroying my credit record, but that’s another story.)

Work wasn’t immediately available; none that would at least cover the bills. We got inventive, wrote a business plan, obtained finance & bought a franchise. It went pretty well for the first three years, but we had to bust a gut to make the required income. It wasn’t easy. Eventually, the franchise operator messed up relations with several key players in our insurance market. Within three months, we lost 75% of our revenue. I had to close the workshop & find part time work to make ends meet. Ultimately, we decided to close the business, sell the house and downsize to something more manageable.

What’s the relevance of this? We tried hard to keep our precarious financial state form the kids. Maybe we didn’t do as well as we thought. Our son had already become withdrawn. He’d fallen in with a group of local lads about whom we had grave misgivings. Of course, there was no discussing it. We were “over-reacting” and unreasonable. It was around that time that he decided to jack in his education. I couldn’t criticise; I’d done the same. I pulled some strings and got him a job at our local Royal Mail delivery office.

We moved to our new place. It was a stressful move. Trying to fit into a house that was literally half the size was never going to be an easy task. One afternoon, our son came home from work and soon after announced he was going out. “See you later.” Only we didn’t. He didn’t come home that night. Nor did he turn up for work the next day. Nor the day after. And nor the day after that. Within a week he was written up for unauthorised absence. We had no way of contacting him. His case was heard in the following weeks. I could offer no mitigation. He was sacked for abandonment of duty. That tag that means he’ll never work for them again.

We still had no idea where he was. We only knew he was alive because we met a couple of his friends who couldn’t believe he’d not been in touch. Still no word. My wife was in shreds; I suspect any of you who are parents can identify with that. I was alternating between trying to prop her up and stay on top of my job, all the while under a constant barrage of barracking (Oh, we don’t mean anything by it, it’s just banter....)

About three months in I’d had enough. Sleep was a scarce resource so I rose at the crack of dawn and started on a trip, rousting one after another of the friends and acquaintances that I knew, following leads until finally I tracked him down to a sordid bedsit several towns and 40 miles away. At least he answered the door and looked sheepish. He offered no explanation or apology, and has never done so to date. He refused to come back home, but promised to keep in touch.

We know he bounced from one sofa to another in the next few months. He spent time in some of the worst areas in the county for drug abuse. He fell into a relationship with a girl that looked promising initially and subsequently fell apart. Later, he surfaced in another town with another girl whom he subsequently married. She often spoke of his irascible temperament and moods. Ultimately the marriage was doomed; she was younger than him, found a new interest and moved out. One wonders now how much of that was her and how much she’d put up with before voting with her feet.

He’s stumbled from one financial crisis to another. Money just evaporates. It’s as though adulting is a mystery beyond his reach. I’ve lost count of the times that we’ve thrown money at him and I don’t want to even think about how much. It’s literally thousands, always a loan, yet he never, ever pays back.

He left his job. That was inevitable too; he worked for his ex-father-in-law’s company. Heaven only knows how long the writing was on the wall; it was pretty swift once she left. He drifted again. He chose to live in a squalid flat with no heating rather than move back with us. Absolutely his choice, not ours.

We moved to Scotland. That meant all his stuff had to go into storage. Quick rewind - he moved all his stuff to ours when he gave up the house he & his ex lived in, but refused to move back home. I had to rent a storage unit to make space for all his gear & when we moved I shifted all his gear into the store, gave him the key & told him I’d paid three months up front; after that it was his to deal with. Apparently, he surrendered the store and moved all his gear into the flat...

Fast forward to a couple of months back. He’d run out of options at the flat. His flatmate was “really difficult” to live with. His ex had moved away, taking their son with her. He had nothing left to stay for and, surprise, he’d lost his job again so he couldn’t afford the rent.

My wife convinced me we should give him one last shot, citing his fragile mental health. I agreed on the strict understanding that we are simply no longer in a position to support him. He assured us he’d be applying for work as soon as he got here. We rarely see him before midday...

We agreed the end of the first week in March. We knew he’d arrive with a ton of stuff so we had (again) to create space. That’s infinitely more difficult now we’re running a B&B, but we set to the task. Suddenly, two weeks sooner than we’d agreed, he rented a van and was on his way. No discussion, no warning. We only found out because he put something on FB.

Finally, after trying to reach him most of the day, he phoned. Whilst we should have been relieved, instead we were treated to a barrage of abuse because all the petrol stations were shut. Of course they were. It was in a national lockdown and why would they stay open when there was no one on the roads? JFC, who embarks on a journey in sub-zero temperatures across some of the most inhospitable country in the UK without enough fuel? With a six year old child. Yes, not only did he forget to tell us about his change of plans, he forgot to tell us he was bringing his son too.

We drove south through the night for two hours to find him somewhere in the Cairngorms where he’d run out of fuel. No fuel meant no heaters at 1500 feet in deep snow. The ambient temperature was -5ºC/23ºF & with wind chill that was probably around -10ºC/14ºF. We found him & refuelled his van. No thanks, just another barrage of abuse, because he was tired. We took his son into our car & drove the two hours back in near silence. I think we knew then that it was an awful predictor of what was to come.

We’ve had row after row. He accused me of being passive-aggressive in the last. He actually ticks all the boxes for passive-aggressive behaviour. I’ve never been tagged with that before; if anything I’m too forthright, blunt even. That’s a failing to which I will admit. If by that he meant that I don’t talk about the elephant in the room, it’s only because we fear it’ll lead to another explosion.

He never saw the damage that we sustained during our fostering years. He was never there. Yet here we are, experiencing flashbacks to those traumatic incidents; the parallels are exact. We have the benefit of years of training. We recognise manipulative behaviour when we see it - we were trained by some of the nations best exponents - and we know divisive tactics implicitly. What he doesn’t know is that he will succeed only in pushing us closer together and alienating himself even further.

There are clear and well-documented links between cannabis and mental health issues. He is allowing the drug to determine his life choices. Although I may be wrong, I think he’s cultivating skunk, which is nothing like the weed that circulated in my youth. The smell that pervades our hallway is instantly evocative of high strength Afghan resin. It’s also going to be acutely difficult to eradicate before we’re due to open.

We’ve endured 20 years of this treatment. I know that even if we have a ritual burning, it will only be a matter of time before we’re back here again. We’re old. We’re tired. And we’ve worked our socks off (and still do) to achieve what we have. Maybe somewhere along the way we missed something. But I’m at a stage where I’m so far beyond this I just want it to stop.

#drugs #the damage is done #context #explanatory notes

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fanfictionaries · 4 years

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Love and Academia Ch. 3 - Dream Homes and Disloyalty

Pairing: AU Professor!Bucky x OFC

Warnings: Swearing, smut, NSFW/18+ only, mentions of death/violence/suicide

Author’s note: We get a nice little look into Bucky’s perspective this week. Also because this is an AU and I am the God on the worlds I create, Steve has a big family and he’s from the midwest. I just want him to be a happy little farm boy!

And as always, I do not currently have a beta reader so please excuse any larger issues. it’s just little ol’ me!

***

Bucky’s feet hit the ground. Left, right, left, right. He was on the final mile of his morning run. Usually by this time he’d be well into his runner’s high, feeling great as he finished off his fifth mile, but today it was like each step made him weaker and slower. His legs cut through the air like a knife cutting through frozen butter. He thought about stopping, just giving up and calling that day’s run short, but a yip at his side and the brush of a cold nose on his calf eliminated the idea immediately. Trixie, his border collie, would be an energetic wreck all day if she didn’t get her full five miles. So, he pushed through, finally slowing to a walk when he’d fully completed his run.

“There, ya happy?” Bucky asked, looking down at his dog. Trixie looked up at her owner briefly, tail wagging, tongue hanging from her mouth, and looking as pleased as ever as she padded beside him. He held her leash loosely in his hand as Trixie led the way towards their new house. Their new home.

It was a red brick Victorian style home nestled on a quiet back street. It’s deep green door, white trim, and beautiful garden of roses and irises held a certain charm. The garden had been the main selling point for him and Diane. Diane had been so taken by the white picket fence in the front yard, with the ivy-colored trellis framing the walkway to the front door. She insisted they put in an offer straight away, even though they weren’t planning on moving for another year. Bucky had called her crazy, saying that it was insane for them to pay both rent in Brooklyn and a mortgage in Idaho. But she had reasoned that with both of their jobs and their minor expenses they could easily afford it and it was a small price to pay for their dream home.

“You mean your dream home?” Bucky laughed.

“It’s not your dream home?” Diane asked, slightly crestfallen at the realization.

“Your dream is my dream,” Bucky said, and it was true. His dream was her and therefore whatever her dream was, was his as well.

But now as he treaded across the loose boards on the front porch to unlock the door that stuck, he cursed her for making this their dream. Opening the door and crossing the threshold, he unhooked Trixie’s leash and placed his keys on the table next to the front door. Trixie, apparently wiped from their run, laid on her bed across the living room and promptly fell asleep. Bucky reached for the remote and turned on the TV, skimming through the channels until he got the local news, and then settled into the rest of his workout. It was always the same: sit ups, pushups, pull ups, repeat. The same simple routine helping to bring him clarity. Something he needed a lot of these days.

The decision to leave Brooklyn had been his idea. His contract with NYU was coming to an end, and he just kept feeling like he needed a change. He’d called Brooklyn home his entire life. Despite his short time away for undergrad at Boston University, he’d been born in Brooklyn, grown up in the streets of Brooklyn with his brothers, gotten his PhD at NYU, gotten his first teaching position there, met Diane there. But he was growing restless of the same old story. Diane, thankfully, agreed. She, being from Montana, enjoyed her time on the east side of the country, but was ready to be closer to home.

Bucky had just finished his last set when his phone buzzed on the coffee table. Not even thinking, he reached for it and pressed the green call button.

“So, he finally answers,” Steve boomed from the other end. Bucky sighed inwardly; he’d been avoiding Steve all week since they’d last seen each other at the bar.

“Hey man, what’s up?”

“Oh, you know, I was just wondering if I could actually see my best friend and catch up with him finally. Or will I have to wait another six years?”

“Alright, alright, message received jerk. Why don’t we grab coffee this morning? I’m headed into the office a little later and I have time before then,” Bucky said, feeling guilty for not making it up to Steve for completely bailing on their guys night last week. Steve laughed and agreed, throwing out a time and place before ending the call.

Bucky showered before dressing in a pair of jeans and white t-shirt. He brushed his wet hair and contemplated trimming his beard before saying ‘fuck it’ and walking out of the bathroom. Making his way down the stairs, he was halfway down when a step gave under his foot. With a loud crack, the wood split in two and he was ankle deep in pain and frustration.

“Jesus fucking Christ!”

Bucky pulled his foot from the hole and continued walking down the stairs gingerly. Pulling up his pant leg, he assessed that there was minimal damage, and proceeded to grab his wallet, keys, and phone from the coffee table. He crouched down by Trixie’s bed and gave her a scratch behind the ear.

“I’ll be back later girl,” Bucky said. Trixie nuzzled his palm with her nose before giving it a kiss and laying her head back down on her bed.

Fifteen minutes later and Bucky was seated at a table in a small coffee shop, ice coffee in hand, with Steve sat across from him.

“It’s good to see you man. Really good,” Steve said, taking a sip of his coffee and leaning back in his seat.

“I know, it really is. Tell me again why you moved all the way out here after college?” Bucky asked, rubbing a bead of condensation away from the side of his cup.

“Oh, you know me. Boston was fun but after four years I was done with the big city. It’s not home, but most of my family isn’t even in Minnesota anymore anyways.”

“And you’re liking it here so far?”

“Oh, I love it. My parents are here, so is my sister Mary. Mike’s still in Bloomington, but him and the wife have been talking about moving down here too. You know us Rogers—can’t stay apart for too long. We always end up finding our way back together,” Steve chuckled.

“Yea, you are a dysfunctional bunch, aren’t you,” Bucky teased.

“Oh please, I’ve met the Barnes family several times. How many times has your mom called you?”

“Today or in the last week?” Bucky laughed, thinking about how his mom had called him at least three times a day for the past month he had been in Idaho.

“Mary still seeing that finance guy?” Bucky asked, trying to remember the small details Steve had dropped about his family over the years through their phone calls.

“Oh Doug? God no. No, he turned out to be a real piece of shit…why? You interested?” Steve grinned, raising an eyebrow at Bucky.

“You seriously trying to set me up with your sister man?”

“Hey—" Steve held his hands up in defense “—I’m just saying. She’s always had a bit of a thing for you.”

“Well, that’s certainly news to me, but I’m not exactly single Steve,” Bucky sighed.

“I thought you said Diane said—”

“Yea, I know what she said but it doesn’t really mean I agree with it. That was her idea, not mine.”

“So, the other night at the bar?”

“Was a mistake. Besides, nothing really happened.”

Steve looked skeptical, “She seemed pretty upset right before she left. You sure nothing really happened?”

“What are you implying?”

“Nothing. I’m just worried about you.”

There was a long silence as they sat there. Bucky refusing to look at Steve. Steve refusing to look away from Bucky. Bucky had felt guilty that night with Emily. He truly had. Diane’s words had run through his head that night over and over again. He thought that if he had kept it impersonal, maybe he could do it. With Diane not there, he was lonely and god, he had been wildly attracted to Emily. Probably more than he liked to admit. But no matter what Diane said, when it came down to it, it still felt like a betrayal.

“Well, at least something good came out of that night,” Bucky stated, steering the conversation in another direction.

“Oh yea? What?”

“I’m assuming you went home with her friend, yea?”

At the mention of Natasha, Steve’s face went bright red and he coughed into his hand, “We uh, no we didn’t. She wanted to but…”

“You said no?” Bucky asked shocked.

“Yea, well you know me. I’m a bit old fashioned. I want to take a girl out on an actual date before we—”

“Fuck each other’s brains out?”

“Something like that—" Steve smirked into his coffee cup, “—I’m taking her out for dinner tomorrow actually.”

Bucky smiled at Steve, his best friend looking bashful but excited, “Gonna’ show her the ol’ Steve Rogers’ charm?”

“I’m just hoping I don’t make a fool of myself. It’s been a while since I went out on a date. You know, what with me and Peggie splitting and she’s…very confident. She definitely knows what she wants,” Steve admitted.

“Oh, you’re for sure going to make a fool of yourself, but I don’t think that’ll hurt your chances.”

Bucky laughed as Steve reached across the table and tried to punch him in the arm.

“Jerk,” Steve said, smiling the whole time. They talked for a while longer, Bucky asking about Steve’s family and Steve doing the same. They talked about mutual friends and what they were up to. About an hour had passed when Steve asked about Bucky’s new job.

“So, when do you start your new gig?”

“This coming Monday. I was actually going to stop by today and take care of paperwork, maybe check out my new office,” Bucky said, draining the last of his coffee.

“Well, I won’t keep you from that. I should probably get going. I’ve got to head to the gym and then get home and get some stuff done.”

They stood and said their goodbyes, promising to hang out again soon before exiting the coffee shop and getting in their cars. It was a short drive from there to the university. The red brick and lush green trees reminding Bucky of home. However, stepping out of his truck, the dry heat was a pleasant reminder that this place was definitely not humid, sticky Brooklyn in August. Locking his car behind him in the visitor’s parking lot, he walked casually towards the Life Science’s building. He admired the landscaping as he walked, always finding humor in how every university seemed to try and make their campus as pretty as possible right before school started. A nicer grounds always did well for visiting prospective students, parents dropping off their children for their first year, and returning students who wanted a reason to stay.

The Life Science’s building was definitely older than some of the other buildings on campus, but that didn’t both him too much. He climbed the stairs, old linoleum steps peeling and cracking as he double checked the office number on his phone. Room 439. As he neared the room tucked back into a corner of the floor, he began to hear music. Gradually it increased in volume, a punky beat from a band that he recognized. It became clear that the music was coming from room 439 when he entered through the front door. Looking around he saw an older lab, boxes piled high and lab equipment strewn about haphazardly. The music was coming from the office within the lab, this time though, he could hear a voice singing along to it. It was loud, raspy, and overall offkey. Maybe he had the wrong room number? He walked towards the office, hoping to ask whoever was in there for some help finding the right place. Inside was a young woman dressed in a pair of baggy jeans and t-shirt. He watched in amusement as she danced to the music, obviously under the impression that she was alone as her hips wiggled and head bopped side to side.

“Um, excuse me. I think this is my office,” he called over the music, feeling bad that he was probably going to embarrass the girl. She jumped at his voice and when she whipped around the ground fell out from underneath him.

“What the hell are you doing here?” he asked. Anger, for some reason, being his initial reaction to seeing Emily standing in what was supposed to be his office. Emily, a woman who had told him that she was a bartender. Emily, a woman he had almost hooked up with and then snubbed very dickishly at a bar about a week ago.

She seemed pretty upset right before she left. Steve’s words rang in his mind.

#fanfic #fanfiction #marvel #avengers #bucky #bucky x ofc #professor!bucky #au #au bucky barnes #bucky barnes #steve rogers

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deepestdarkestsickestpartsofu · 4 years

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Introduction

We met in spring of 2017. He changed my life forever, in a way that I will never be able to explain. What I would want you to understand before reading this, is how much love has taken charge of my feelings and impulses.

I loved him, I love him.

Nothing he did will ever change that.

At this point I bet you may be wondering who I am. Right... I guess I should introduce myself. My name is Nadir, a 25 year old man that is attracted to other men, but that’s not the most significant part in the story. I grew up in a quiet conservative town in Michigan, with a small population of less than 5,000 people. My mother is pretty old schooled and forced me to stay in school until I graduated. That meant no ‘girlfriends’, no sleepovers, no working. I always had the desire to help her monetarily by getting a job and at least pay the house bills. However she would constantly say to me to just focus on my studies and that would be what would help us in the long run.

My parents are originally from Israel. My mother grew up as Catholic, which was not the usual back then and my father grew up Jewish. They became less religious when they decided to move to the United States, which is where they had my siblings and I. They both lived here as immigrants and I didn’t understand what that meant when I was a child, I just thought we were like any other family living in the US. My father unfortunately passed away from a heart attack when I was 8 years old and it affected me in ways you couldn’t possibly imagine. During his wake, I didn’t cry. It was all so surreal and I felt like he would wake up randomly and claim that everything was a joke. He had a great sense of humor and always managed to make people smile, however his death wasn’t a joke. Once it was time to bury him, I cried as hard as I could since I knew I wouldn’t see him ever again. After that, my mother worked as hard as she could to give my siblings and I what we needed. She could barely afford to pay for the mortgage on the house until my older brothers started working and helping her out with as much as they could. My mother worked two jobs daily to make sure we had food on our table, clothes and a good education.

It would hurt me to see her stress about providing for us, so eventually I managed to get a scholarship at San Francisco State University. Being the youngest of 4 children gave me a bit of an advantage to enjoy ‘the beauty of freedom’ as we know it now, and not have to struggle about being gay in the 70′s, not that it’s any different now. I mean there are hate crimes all over, shootings that keep getting more common by the minute and discrimination which is still pretty big now. That is one of the reasons why I decided not to come out to my mother, nor anyone in town for that matter. I was already struggling with self-acceptance and I didn’t want to be a burden to my mother. During my senior year of High School I managed to convince my mother to let me work to save up for essential stuff. I began working at a pharmacy and little by little saved up enough money to leave town and follow my dreams in a career I wanted. I wasn’t certain of what my major would be, however it needed to be in the art field. Whether it would be acting, directing, drawing or video editing. I decided to go with the flow and see what would appeal my interest. I wanted to be able to afford a place in ‘The City’, so working at that little pharmacy helped me save up & I also had a job secured so I would be able to help my mother with her expenses from afar.

It took me a few months but right before spring classes started, I booked the first plane to San Francisco without looking back. My siblings showed up with my mother to the airport. Elijah, the oldest, was a bit of a role model growing up. He got married at 22, had 2 children and joined the police force. Amir, the second to oldest, was always a jokester which he definitely got from my father, and had a bit of a ‘bad boy’ complex, which is quite the opposite of Elijah. He never got married, which my mother never agreed with, however he did have 3 kids, all with different women. Last but not least, my sister Hadassah, she was only 3 years older than me and I guess you could say we were the closest. Both of us would take care of my mom as much as possible and help her around the house as much as it was possible. She decided to stay in a community college to be closer to my mother and to help her financially as much as she possibly could. I hugged everyone goodbye, but when I got to my mother I couldn’t hold it in much longer. Tears started pouring down my face as I hugged her, but managed to remind her that this wasn’t a goodbye, but a ‘see you later’. I wish I could’ve come out to her, but I was afraid it would devastate her and we might lose the relationship we had built. As cliche as it sounds, she is my best friend, the person I trust the most in this world. I was considering staying as I hugged her. She pulled away and put our foreheads together.

“You’ll be fine... You’ve got this! And remember einayim sheli, you’re stronger than you think! I’ll be supporting you from afar! Nothing you could do would ever disappoint me”.

“I love you mom. Don’t worry, I’ll send money your way and I’ll be back during the holidays!”

“You better, my dear! Now go, don’t want you to miss your flight”, she said as she hugged me once again.

Her words gave me enough courage to pick up my stuff and board the plane. I turned back once more before heading to the ramp and saw my siblings & her waving at me. Hadassah was hugging my mother and even though she was trying to stay as strong as possible, I saw tears rolling down her face. She noticed that I saw them and immediately wiped them off with a smile. I always admired how strong of a woman she is. She truly is a role model and someone I look up to as to how to live my life. However, I’ve never been as strong so I couldn’t hold back and started crying as I boarded the plane.

The flight felt eternal and having anxiety didn’t help at all. I quit medication a few months before leaving since I didn’t think I would need it… Boy, was I wrong. I managed to calm myself down by working on some sketches I’ve been doing on my drawing paper pad. Next thing I knew, I was arriving in San Francisco, California; Population: 883,305, well... I guess now it’s 883,306 residents. I wasn’t necessarily going into San Francisco completely helpless, I was moving in with my best friend. I met Marcia in elementary school. Her father Sebastiao works for the government, and that’s as much as I know about him. That and the fact that he had to move to San Francisco due to a “really good job opportunity”. Her father is originally from Brazil & his wife, Mayra is Mexican-American. Marcia grew up and learned all three languages, English, Spanish & Portuguese so she was able to fit in easier in “The Bay Area” when they left our little town. We would spend hours on the phone after she moved and she would tell me about San Francisco and how she thought I’d love it. She was honestly afraid to be one of those kids whose parents have to move regularly because of their jobs, but lucky for her, she didn’t have to do that. She set up a high bar for me arriving in San Fran and when I did... Well, let’s just say she didn’t disappoint. Her dad bought her an apartment and she was willing to share it with me at no cost, but I already had plans of helping her out with utilities & give her some extra cash to thank her for sharing her apartment with me. She shared her apartment with two puppies, Chuy & Elena, two small pomeranians whom she considered her children since she wasn’t planning on having any kids. When I told her I had gotten a scholarship to SF State, she immediately suggested I should move in with her. I wasn’t too sure of that idea, but it honestly was the best option I had so far.

I finally get my luggage and sit in the lobby to wait for her. I look around and see a lot of people meeting up with their loved one, whether it is their lover, or family. “You just left your family back there. You won’t even make it here nor achieve anything you had your mind set to. This is truly a bad idea. Why are you even doing here? You’re an idiot for leaving! All for some stupid experiment you want to try? Bullshit!”. I close my eyes and take another deep breath. I then feel my phone vibrate with the following text message:

“I see you!”

I looked up and saw her smile. She hadn’t grown much, stood about 5′6, black, curly shoulder-length hair, light skinned, with dorky glasses. People always claimed she was a weirdo, but who am I to judge? I was a bit taller than her, stood about 6′1, a bit of scruff on my face, brown semi clean-cut hair. I was always the weird kid at school, so we managed to click from the very beginning. She was the first person to talk to me in elementary school, and that meant the world to me. I was always a bit of an introvert, however she helped me come out of my shell little by little and when she left, I fell back into it.

“Marcia! Babe! I’m so happy to see you!”

I ran to her and hugged her. It felt like yesterday that I had said goodbye to her at the airport.

“Honeeeeey! Ugh, I’m soooo glad to see you! You smell soooo good! Don’t tell me you’re still into buying or should I say, collecting colognes?”

“Guilty!”

“Well then, you just might like what I have for you at home! Let me help you with your bags! I can’t wait for you to FINALLY meet Chuy & Elena! They’re going to LOVE you! My tia is still pretty mad that I named Elena after her, but she should take it as a compliment! It just means I love her! I mean, dogs are your most loyal companions... Not that she was ever loyal to my uncle, but still! I’m telling you, my little Elena is NOTHING like her!”

I looked at her in disbelief. She still had that smile and a gleam in her eye. She had always had that hopeful gleam in her eye... Something I had lost a long time ago.

I hated it.

“I’ll kill if I have to, but I’ll regain that hope again, just wait”

#My Story #My Writing #Story #Short Story #Twisted Tales #Chapter 1 #Introduction #Fiction #Writing #Twisted Love #Deep Dark Sick

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graysonarthurhammond-blog · 5 years

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memory lane.

december 31, 2019

The sun sets on another day. Today was a bit cloudy so we really only left the house around 3PM. Still haven’t been able to find a good replacement for this useless Rolex. Didn’t get the hype when I couldn’t afford one, and I still don’t get it now that one is strangling my wrist. I mean it looks nice and all, sure. Anything covered in diamonds looks nice when you don’t pay a small mortgage for it. I remember reading once that one of these tiny clocks sold for around seventeen million or so. I bet that guy felt pretty good about himself that day. I wonder where a seventeen million dollar watch like that is right now. I’m sure it looked beautiful, too. But looks aren’t what keep this thing going, and I need a functional alarm. Just in case. Abby’s been giving me the same look all day. That “I told you not to get too close to the water, dummy!” look. The same look she gives me anytime I do something stupid. If only she could speak, maybe my Casio wouldn’t be at bottom of the river right now. Maybe I wouldn’t be searching the city looking for a basic G-Shock like it’s 1983. I think about that often. If only she could speak, it would make this whole thing easier.

I haven’t seen or heard any other animals in about twenty minutes, so I’d say that gives me about an hour to lockup. I’m wondering if I should finish this bottle of chardonnay first, and knock right out before it gets too dark. Down to the cheap shit now. Pretty sure I’ve gone through all of the good shit in the city, which wasn’t the smartest idea considering the shelf life of wine. But that’s the bitter irony that plagues this new life. It’s almost become a supplement for standard comedy. At least I can get a smirk out of it. Fuck it, I think I’ll board up first. Didn’t eat much today so the bottle will knock me on my ass regardless. Better to be safe.

Decided I don’t feel like drinking tonight. Moderation really hasn’t been a problem for me, which is surprising considering it’s all there is to do around here. "A bullshit Hollywood TV survivalist who moonlights as a drunk is bound to slip up one day. You’ll lose everything." That’s what my father used to say. Oddly specific, I know. At the time he was using it to hurt me. Now it’s one of the things that keeps me alive. There’s that bitter irony coming back. Besides, there’s no point in destroying my liver if I’m really the only healthy one now.

Speak of the devil; I hear one on the roof. Every night I can hear them jump from house to house, and usually it’s quick and loud. But tonight, I only hear one set of footsteps. The quiet, gentle tapping on the ceiling lets me know that one of them is looking for something. But I know it isn’t for me. Lockup is always before sundown, so they have no idea where I live. And it’s not like the bastards have any clue how to remember directions anyway. Vinegar and bleach on the porch takes care of any other kind of smell they mind find. Or at least I think it does. I don’t know the first thing about what’s turned us into such monsters. I never even heard of the term virologist before I saw Robert Neville on the news. Now there isn’t a day I don’t wish I became one. The spotlight always called me, though. At least I wasn’t cooking and screaming at restaurant owners or talking about Kanye’s new outburst on TMZ. At least some of my qualifications transfer into this new world. Hollywood’s most famous TV survivalist becomes the only one to survive the apocalypse. Bitter irony.

Most nights like this, I don’t have much to entertain myself. The house is fully soundproofed, and I’ve made sure of that on the sunny days. But it’s important to be overly cautious. I still have no clue how evolved their hearing is, if it is at all.That’s why I always try to get home early; to have a little bit of downtime before I have to lockup. There’s a great record store on Milwaukee Ave called The Exchange, and they have tons of great records and movies. And I always return when I’m done watching, don’t worry. Making my way through the Gs right now. Goodfellas is the next one on the list, so I’m excited for that. But tonight was not one of those early nights. So fighting the urge to watch a movie or listen to a record is for the best, no matter how bad I want to escape. That just leaves me with my thoughts.

I’ve always hated nostalgia. Clinging to the past always seemed like an excuse to never move forward. I always believed that was what made me so successful in my endeavors. I always taught people how to be strong and smart in the present and the future. Tonight, like most nights, nostalgia was all I had. And God help me, if I wasn’t clinging to it like a newborn to a bosom. Three years later, some of the events start to fade. Hell, even some of the faces started to fade if I didn’t have pictures to remind me. That bitter irony creeps up again to share an anecdote. I remember a time that I was so stressed out about a talk show, or something like that. I think it was my first time on any talk show. It couldn’t have been Arsenio. Wait, was it? Well, I remember Prince was there. Maybe that’s why I was so nervous. I guess it doesn’t matter now. But I remember the feeling leading up to it, and how it felt like the world was ending. Then she walked into the green room holding Emily. And just like that, I remember the sinking feeling somehow disappearing. I’ve never been one for clichés, but it really was as if nothing else mattered but the three of us. I always said I was gonna marry that girl. I’d always loved her. Being the straightforward and logical man that I was had gotten me to where I’d been. But there was never a logical explanation for how she made me feel. And no matter how bad this got, I’ve always told myself that I can’t forget what Sarah looked like. Or Emily. They’re still out there, somewhere. I know it. There is no skeptic in me anymore, there can’t be. And when I fix this, I know that they’ll remember me.

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msmovingforward · 3 years

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Proud Mama

We open with triumphant Mormon choir music to establishing shots, informing us we are back in Salt Lake City. I’m shocked and betrayed that we didn’t get anymore footage of Kimberly the Hypnotist, but c’est la vie; it’s not as if we had an extra-long episode this week. Whitney is meditating in her home. Lisa is at her office at Vida Tequila (LOVE THAT!). We see several flashbacks to Jen screaming at Whitney to shut the fuck up, and Kimberly the Hypnotist asking Lisa to take a good hard look at her friendship with Jen. Heather thinks back to Jen raising her hand when asked if anyone doesn’t trust Heather. We head back to see Belle from Beauty and the Beast still trapped in a high castle by her misunderstood captor, or I mean Mary the grandfather fucker in her 8,000 square foot home, thinking about how she warned everyone Jen would ruin this trip! SHE BLINKED SO MANY TIMES! CAN SOMEONE HELP HER?! BLINK IF YOU NEED HELP, MARY! BLINK IF YOU NEED HELP! Needless to say, this was a trip from HELL! These women may have left Vegas and checked out of the Hotel Nomad, but what happened there certainly didn’t stay there.

More choir music, and we’re at Heather’s new Beauty Lab and Laser location, complete with 15-minute Botox parking spots. So if you’re just at this strip mall to get a Diet Coke from a 7-11 on the GOOD side of the tracks, you better find parking elsewhere! Between seeing Lisa’s office and Heather’s new Beauty Lab location, we’ve now officially doubled the number of filming locations for this show! The new location looks like the set of a reboot for Xanadu. Everything is pink and white. Pink angel wings adorn the wall, symbolizing Heather’s ascent into independence from her ex husband. Heather tells us in a confessional this has to look great. She can’t just light a candle and say it’s done! I mean Sheree did this for her housewarming on Atlanta, but this is Salt Lake City, the land of integrity!

Heather addresses her team, saying that she’s had a rough weekend in Vegas, so if she’s short with people that’s why. Such great management skills! Remind your entire team that while they were probably working to make your vision a reality, you were away on a girls’ trip, filming a TV show less than a week before your grand opening! An employee tells Heather something about her stanchions, a word Heather had never heard before. Whitney shows up and remarks how pretty the stanchion ropes are. Thank God Whitney could remember her lines this week!

Heather and Whitney discuss the fact that neither of them have spoken to Jen since the trip, and Whitney informs us in her testimonial that she would uninvite Jen to the grand opening if it were her. “Is Heather addicted to toxicity?” She asks. Well, let’s see! Beyond the fact that Heather and Whitney are both ex Mormons who are on a reality show about women yelling at each other, Heather is literally opening a second location for a business that shoots toxins into middle-aged women’s foreheads and eye sockets, so they can’t express emotions or look old. Heather’s livelihood LITERALLY depends on the availability of toxicity.

In the next scene, we see Lisa touching a fabulously green handbag and heading into a bar called Lake Effect. Before we cut to commercial, it is revealed that she is there to meet up with none other than Jen Shah herself! Now I’m excited. It seems like Lisa is living up to her Lisa Housewife ancestors (Vanderpump, Rinna, Et Al.) and has sensed that Jen is weak and malleable. You need a friend, don’t you, Jen, darling? Lisa informs us that when leaving Vegas she saw Jen in tears on the elevator, and the human in her just had to ask what the real story was. She informs Jen that she’s just like her. She wants to be loyal to her friendships and her word. Hmm.. interesting because I’m pretty sure Jen was literally JUST spreading rumors about your other best friend’s marriage. Even I’m a little bit confused, falling for this classic manipulative trap. My heart really does break a little bit for Jen, who I think is truly losing her mind. I’m brought back to reality, though, when Lisa tells Jen that she can’t threaten to drown Whitney in her pond after Jen says she feels like her words are constantly taken out of context. Jen tells Lisa that she only talks like that because she felt like she constantly had to be ready to fight growing up in Salt Lake City, which is predominantly White.

We head to Meredith’s house where we are treated to a vomit-inducing scene of Meredith slicing half a banana for Seth. Seth informs her that he likes quarters instead of halves. Meredith fills Seth in on the happenings in Vegas, which Seth refers to as “Toxic city cicity.” Meredith can’t handle all the volatility in this group of friends. She repeatedly disengaged in Vegas, and obviously Vegas is really a city where you want to dis-disengage. You want to be so engaged in Vegas, and it’s unengaging when you have to disengage. It’s like the Blackjack dealer asks, “Do you want to hit or stay?” and Meredith just has to disengage. Meredith tells us that her marriage has been just so wonderful lately, and it’s all positivity. She throws shade at Jen in her confessional, saying that some of the other women are probably just jealous of how successful her marriage is, which is why they need to spread rumors about it. Right, Meredith, we’re all super jealous of the fact that your husband can sleep with his eyes open at dinner and simultaneously accuse you of cheating because you won’t let him go through your phone.

Whitney informs us that her father is 90 days sober, so she’s going to let him near her head with scissors in a room full of aspiring Mormon hairdressers. He does absolutely nothing to Whitney’s hair and makes several dad jokes, and the audience is led to believe that his audition for this hairdressing school went well. My heart breaks for a second time this episode when Whitney says, “I feel like a proud Momma,” even though she’s the daughter in this relationship.

Meredith visits Heather at Beauty Lab. Meredith informs Heather that she’s sure Jen does have shit she’s dealing with, but she’s angry because Jen has hurt her family and marriage with her lies. Heather says that she needs to be strong and not “put up and shut up” like she did for years in her marriage. If her daughters were in a friendship like this, she would advise them to stay away.

Lisa, her husband, and her kids, Jack and Henry, are at a meeting with Sydney, who is either high up at Vida Tequila or low on the totem pole and was able to be convinced to be on TV. Either way, she has to sit through fifteen year old Henry’s Fresh Wolf business proposal. Lisa continuously reminds her kids, who are almost as disengaged as Meredith, that they can have anything, including Land Rover Defenders and McClarens, if they “What?” “Work for it!” Lisa says that Henry will be the first 9 year old with a McClaren (”I love that! I love it.”) I remember visiting my mom at work and being given the money to start companies and buy luxury cars in front of assistants who probably make $15 an hour. Pretty standard reward for getting a B+ on a report card. Jack starts his business proposal. “Yeah so Fresh Wolf is a company.” Henry interrupts from the white board on which he is writing Fresh Wolf over and over again. “I came up with the name! How smart are these straws!?” Henry has a brain fart and has to start over after Lisa reminds him that it’s always important to hold up a picture of the product when you’re pitching it, especially if you’re wearing your best backwards hat and bright yellow-green hoodie. I love that. That I love. I love it. Touch the picture, Jack. Jack’s full proposal is as follows: “The ingredient you need most, Dad, is turmeric because it restores hair or stimulates hair growth or something.. so uh yeah that's Fresh Wolf.” Sidney pretends to be truly impressed. John says, “Wow,” and Lisa informs us via confessional that Fresh Wolf has really given them the opportunity to reconnect as a family Even though Lisa has just chugged a liter of Diet Coke from the 7-11 next to Beauty Lab, she’s starving, so they all head to Taco Bell, then Burger King, then Checkers for lunch. Everyone that is, except Henry, whom they forget. It’s ok. He’ll get there if he works hard.

We head to Mary’s church, where we are shown an actual photo of Jesus with Mary’s grandmother/husband’s late wife. Mary is dressed in Beyonce at Coachella realness. It’s time for choir practice, which Mary informs us in her testimonial is not going well. They need to practice every day, but they can only practice once a week. It’s hard as a viewer to make a judgment on this though because Mary stops their singing every few seconds to ask how much they love her, criticize someone’s weight gain, (“Do me a favor. Eat healthy. Drink water!”), or tell someone they’re daydreaming. I wonder... if these people weren’t probably working two full-time jobs to afford the second mortgages they took out to be members of Mary’s church, could they have choir practice more often?

Next the audience is again reminded of what a wonderful husband Sharrieff is, as he sets up a table of chocolate-covered strawberries inside a dance studio for date night, which is a salsa dancing lesson. He informs us that Jen has always begged for him to bring her to salsa lessons. I have to say, while I imagine not having your husband around most of the year must be a struggle, it’s not as if Sharrieff doesn’t make the most of his limited time with Jen. This date is extremely thoughtful and romantic. Jen walks in, and she’s clearly very impressed and excited. She sees the trophies, and asks, “Am I going to get a trophy?” Sharrieff replies, “No, honey.” In the same tone I might use to tell a child that Grandma isn’t coming over for dinner anymore. This tiny moment made me realize again just how much people in Jen’s orbit must have to walk on eggshells. Sharrieff probably saw an opportunity for crazy Jen to come out and throw a tantrum after realizing she wasn’t going to get a trophy for her one salsa dancing lesson. God, I love this show! The couple salsa dance, and both of them are actually very good. Naturally, as Jen informs us that Sharrieff WAS in a dance group in junior high school. Jen again laments to Sharrieff about how misunderstood she is by the other women, and Sharrieff once again very patiently therapizes her. I was shocked to find out that they have been married 26 years. Can someone please tell me if that’s a record for a marriage that Bravo has ruined? That’s got to be a record! There’s no way they’ll still be married if Jen makes it to a season three...

At last the moment we’ve been waiting for all season arrives! Heather is FINALLY opening her second Mormon purification center. This one used to be a Quiznos! Meredith asks Brooks what she thinks of her outfit, a leather tuxedo with a sparkling lapel. He says it’s “Beyond,” but she decides she’s going to take off her pants entirely, and just make it a “blazer dress.” Lisa informs her husband that she’s going to wear Versace because who doesn’t love Versace. I think he’s just excited that his kids have piano lessons, so he doesn’t have to get an experimental chemical peel. The party is pink, and Heather is serving us Frenchie’s trouble in tinting class. This party has everything: buff gay bartenders with judging eyes, napkins that say messy af (Mary: “What does AF stand for? After the fact?”), wing-shaped cookies, stanchions! Meredith arrives wearing a mask that looks like it came from a very expensive piece of medical equipment, which she informs us is high fashion, and she wouldn’t expect anyone who isn’t as elegant as she to understand it. Mary looks like a cross between an Olsen twin and an extra from Gossip Girl. Lisa arrives, asking, “Does X marks the spot?” before posing in front of the step and repeat. Heather has invited her ex husband, who says he approves, calling the event “next level.” It must be pretty impressive if he got out of his hot tub for it! Heather introduces Meredith to a friend, saying Meredith is a burn victim. The friend says she should wear the mask all the time... Whitney really does a big Whitney zing on Meredith’s mask, putting on two surgical masks in her confessional. Boom! We learn that Meredith’s dress was designed in part by Brooks, which means it must be one of a kind. Mary says something about chicken turkeys as Meredith sips a straw right through her mask. Everyone at this party is basically wearing very shiny pajamas. Lisa reveals to Meredith that she and Jen met up after Vegas, to which Meredith says she can’t control whom Lisa is friends with, but she definitely needs some space from the situation. Mary joins Whitney at the oxygen bar (Mary: “I need oxygen, doxygen, estrogen, YEStrogen!”). Whitney tells Mary she was right; after Mary was out of Jen’s line of fire in Vegas, Whitney just became her next target.

Enter Jen...

Whitney tells Jen she felt like Jen’s punching bag in Vegas. Jen offers a very sincere apology that offers no excuses, which Whitney seems to accept. It’s like Jen is wearing a wire with Sharrieff in her hear telling her exactly what to say all night. In her confessional, Jen reveals that she was just being nice at the time, and she wasn’t really sorry at all because she saw some wing-shaped cookies across the room, and she was hungry. This makes much more sense with the other things I’ve seen across this franchise. Good housewifing, Jen! Heather gives her thank you speech, which again affirms Heather as an independent woman who blah blah blah. We are shown footage of Meredith telling a closet case Mormon man that it’s always a bad idea to ignore bad energy, when Jen walks over to tell Meredith how unacceptable it is that Jen was talking about Meredith’s marriage. Meredith says, “No. It’s not,” and we are treated to a sonic boom sound effect. Meredith again says she needs to “protect her positive space”, but hopefully if Jen proves that she can be trustworthy, the two can move forward. Jen says to Meredith’s face that she respects that decision, but says in her confessional that she thinks Meredith is crazy. Heather walks over, and Meredith gives the two their own space, so she and her Tron mask can continue to protect their positive energy pod elsewhere. Jen and Heather get into a heated discussion, which upsets Lisa Barlow, Queen of Sundance, to the point where she thinks she may have to call security, and of all the parties she’s thrown, she’s never had to call security. She insinuates herself into the situation, saying “Can you guys whisper?” Jen gives her worst apology of the night, and Heather once again forgives her after Jen says the words that Heather literally has to tell her to say.

What a season! We learn that Jen has bought another friend, Heather has learned that she’s her own person, Whitney has a skincare line, Mary is reorganizing her closet, Lisa is taking a family vacation to Mexico, and Meredith and Seth are back in Couples counseling.

What a long episode!

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baehkhun · 5 years

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mrsteveecook · 5 years

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updates: the sick leave pressure, the overload of vacation time, and more

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are five updates from past letter-writers.

1. My boss pressures me to take sick leave, but I can’t afford to

Based on the advice I’d been given, I decided to knuckle down and focus on getting another job – any other job. I know a lot of people suggested I contact Citizen’s Advice, but I was honestly (and still am) a little wary of doing that, as my father has dealt with them in the past regarding a job issue that was a lot more clear cut and wrong, in my opinion, and that didn’t go well for him.

Anyway, it turned out to be really lucky I was looking for other work, as at the start of May (not even a month after I sent my letter!) they laid me off. It was in a really mean way as well, because my boss came up to me at my desk (in front of my coworkers), and said ‘We’re going to have to lower your hours’ and I was like, ‘Okay, what to?’ My boss: ‘Zero.’ And then she laughed. Yup. Seriously. I couldn’t believe it. I don’t think I’ve ever felt more degraded in my working life. It was as if the whole thing was just a big joke to her. I wasn’t the only person to get laid off that day, but I had also just published their new website days before, so my family and I are pretty sure that played a part in it as well.

Anyway, that sucked, but I had an interview the Monday after for a 6 month full time writing internship. The interview went well – it wasn’t exceptional or anything – but lo and behold, I got the internship!

I’ve now been here a week and it’s amazing. I have holiday and sick pay, and I’m even getting put through their pension scheme! (Though whether that’s worth it right now seeing as it’s just an internship, I don’t know. Any thoughts on that?) I’m also earning the highest wage I’ve ever had! And best of all, I’m doing something I’m really passionate about! Who knew things would work out so well in the end?

2. I got in a car accident because my company insisted I do an event in a remote town during a blizzard

I can’t believe it’s already been 2 years since my letter! To confirm what many people guessed, I was a part-time independent contractor for this company. I shared in the original comments how I told my manager I was in an accident driving home from the event and wouldn’t be able to work for a while. She simply told me to let her know when I could work again and to find someone to cover my upcoming shifts. I tried to push for the company to figure out my shifts but ultimately I had to find coverage myself.

Then I actually couldn’t work for quite some time. By the time I was able to go back to that job, I honestly just wanted nothing to do with them and I quit instead. I mentioned in my resignation how I felt their weather policy is dangerous and they should consider giving the employee some say in if it is safe to drive. My manager didn’t even acknowledge what I said – basically just gave me an “okay, I’ll take you off our lists.”

The funny thing is they NEVER took me off their email list/job board despite several reminders from me. I still get their emails to this day! Most of their emails now are either pleas for someone to take upcoming shifts, about adding/losing clients (they seem to go cycle through clients quickly), offering incentives if you refer a friend to work for them, or sharing that X manager has left “because they couldn’t handle the hours/stress/work-life-balance” or some other kind of aggressive-sounding statement. So, draw your own conclusions there (I certainly have).

But enough about them! I mentioned before that I couldn’t work for a while – it turned out I actually hurt my shoulder pretty bad. I ended up needing surgery and then was in physical therapy for several months. So 2017 was pretty rough.

I have made a full recovery at this point and (finally!) this summer was able to re-join my favorite sport. Plus, my full-time job was SO amazing during this time. They let me work from home while my car was in the shop, gave me all the time I needed for the surgery, didn’t deduct any PTO for my Physical Therapy sessions, and let me work from home on days I was just really sore. I also got a significant raise this year despite all of this craziness in 2017 :)

The whole experience has made me so appreciative of good companies that actually care for employees. In case anyone still needs to hear it: if you don’t put an effort into your people, they’re not going to put an effort into your company!

3. My spouse and I want to be a cam couple

Thanks so much for publishing! You’re amazing and I preordered your new book on apple store. I thought I would finally send you an update. Sorry for how long it is, but I’m a long term lurker and actively commenting is not for me and I know there might be some speculation. I read through your answer and all the comments at length when it published and I haven’t looked again.

Hubby and I decided against cam sex work because of your thoughtful answer, and your wonderful commentariat.

I would like to address how horrified some people were when considering the ethics. I was honestly shocked. It made me think I shouldn’t go to strip clubs anymore or participate in any alternative lifestyles (even without being recorded, of course). To be clear: I would NEVER have sex with a patient or client. And, It made me realize how shocked a social work colleague was when I told him that he was obligated to let parents know anytime he made a CPS referral. Even while under licensure and being licensed it seems like a lot of social workers operate in silos. The more you know, right?

Also my husband doesn’t have a college degree. His insurance, as well as mine, is free because our companies self fund. It would require a significant pay raise to get him to leave, because adding him to my insurance would take a big chunk out of my salary and most other jobs on his blue collar level do NOT offer such great benefits. Y’all know this is America and I work in healthcare and insurance is Gold.

Thanks to the advice I’ve been lurking on even more on financial websites and I will try to remember to be grateful that I can mortgage my brain to live the good life. And both hubby and I have opted for decent life insurance payouts in case one of us dies, so we can live the life of our dreams. And if I go first he is instructed NOT to pay my Federal student loans because that’s a great benefit. We have already paid off the loans he cosigned (he had better credit at age 22 then either sets of parents, but regardless it’s OUR debt, not our parents’). I’ve lurked the captain awkward archives and gleaned some good scripts about freeloading family members. I’ve been successful with everyone but grandmas (plural), and we have a loved one on our cell phone bill but that is IT. Someone mentioned divorce and hubby asked me what I would do if I leave him after we pay off this debt. I told him I’d have to pay him alimony, so it would be better for me to keep him around.

4. Can I ask to keep my private office? (#4 at the link)

Long story short, Jane ended up being placed in my office. I talked to my manager about my reasons, explained how a private space contributed to my productivity, that private calls/meetings took place in the office, and that, quite frankly, a private office is a perk that keeps me in this job. One coworker even overheard this conversation and stopped by to express “that it was absolutely ridiculous that I [letter writer] (a manager) would be forced to share an office, but the office admin (where Prudence’s old desk was) had a large, private office just to type meeting minutes and order birthday cards.” The comment may have been harsh, but it’s always nice to have someone else in your corner. At the end of the day, I realize that my manager had to make a difficult decision and, as such, I got a new roommate.

While Jane is a very nice woman and, at times, has provided very insightful comments or suggestions, sharing an office has had an overall negative impact on my productivity. I’ve had to come in early, work after hours, or take extra work home because of her poor behavior. I’ve estimated that sharing an office with her costs me 4-5 useful hours per week. I’ve worked in several office settings, but her behavior is unlike anything I’ve ever seen. Jane takes private calls for hours on end each week, listens to webinars without headphones, comes in late, invites random guests to meet in our shared office, and overall demonstrates a poor understanding of how to behave in an office setting. Others in the office have commented to me about the frequency of loud calls that they can hear from 30-40 feet away and I’ve responded by silently nodding and smiling. Have I said anything to her? Nope.

Here’s why (good news!) – I’ve recently gotten married and will be moving at the end of this month to a major city to join my husband. My new job is with a large company, providing many opportunities for advancement and learning with the bonus of an improved workload.

Thanks again for your advice. As a young manager, it was helpful to have support from you and AAM readers as I navigate these sticky workplace situations.

5. I accrue way more vacation time than I can use

Thank you again for answering my question and for all of the helpful suggestions readers gave as well! I walked away from the post feeling a lot better and I had actual concrete ideas to take to my manager, primarily planning my vacation time in advance.

Within a few weeks of writing in, my siblings and I were gifted a one week stay at friend’s beach house next summer. We’ve been trying to get together for a family trip for years and this seemed like a great opportunity to approach my manager with actual dates for 2019 to request off. Despite the week falling during what can be the busiest month for my department, my vacation days were approved! He brought up the fact that because it was such advance notice, there would be no issue accommodating my request and factoring in my time off as we created next summer’s calendar.

The other great news is that I won’t officially lose any of the excess days I accrued this year- I have the option to add a total of 420 hours (2 full months) to a completely separate PTO bank that is reserved for serious and/or chronic medical issues OR a future maternity leave. This my first full year in my position, thus making me eligible for this “emergency fund”. While it’s not ideal, I do hope to start a family in the next couple of years and I’m glad to have the option to begin contributing to that now.

Lastly, I would like to thank all the readers who shared their own stories of how they manage to use a large number of vacation days, specially those who pointed out that I have no reason to feel guilty for using the PTO I’ve earned! Re-framing the way I viewed all that time off as part of my overall compensation package (instead of just a whole bunch of days I have the option to use) was incredibly helpful. As I mentioned in the comments, the vacation policy was not discussed while I was interviewing because I was so desperate to get out of food service/retail, so it really did come as quite a surprise.

I’m very much looking forward to my handful of long weekends before the end of this year and a proper week long vacation with my family in 2019!

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How can I get my insurance cheaper?

21 years old 0 claims bonus first bike : 1998 r1 (already got it) what are some ways to get my insurance down? thanks

Quad insurance abd bike insurance ?

Jw if I get a 125 or 250 quad if the insurance will be similar to a bike or car same with tax Cheers

How to get a job as a finance & insurance manager?

I am currently a Finance Student, and new car salesman... It seems you never see F&I jobs advertized and when you do they always want people with experience in F&I... How does one get a start in F&I other than being promoted from sales, which wouldn't happen until a vacancy arises?""

Mandating health insurance?

I heard that HIllary and Obama want to mandate health insurance. How is that going to solve anything? People can't afford it, like me. Health insurance should be like car insurance, people pay their own way and if they don't have it they pay for their repairs or don't get fixed.""

What's a good cheap health insurance for a college student?

My college doesn't offer any health insurance and I don't have much money. What should I do? I need to get my throat checked out.

Low cost liability car insurance in Conroe tx?

What are some places, How many people do you have on your liability insurance and how much do you pay and who do you have? I have two people and atm using AIG. they are going to up my bill over 65 a month. Wondering if anyone else is getting better?""

How much would insurance cost for a 1990 pontiac firebird?

I am 17 and a new driver but I was going to buy a 1990 firebird and I was wondering what the average price I would have to pay for this car

second home insurance quotes

What's the point of car insurance?

I've been paying my insurer monthly for several years. I have one relatively small accident where my damage doesn't reach deductible (so I have to pay for my damage out of pocket in full), they pay the other car which was around $1500 or so. They raise my premium for 3 years to an amount where in 3 years I end up paying for the other car anyway, and I still pay monthly as I have for all of the years before that... I'm trying to figure out how that's beneficial - outside of the fact that they paid upfront.""

Affordable insurance in NYC?

My parents need health insurance. They are 50 and 49 years old. Is there anything affordable that you would recommend?

Do you need to be full time student to be in your parent's insurance?

I'm a cancer survivor and on 5 years health watch on Kaiser. I just turned 22 yesterday and I have 9 units of credits in college. Do you need to be a full time student to be in my father's insurance? or did they changed the law? I live in Bay area California.

Best car to get for the cheapest insurance in the UK for a new young driver?

im nearly 17 and looking to start driving, which car would let me pay the least amount of insurance?""

Best cheap insurance for dental?

i am looking for a good insurance for dental what would you ppl recommand

How do I get points taken off of my license?

i live in California and i about 2 months ago crashed my car and was cited for a failure to yield ticket, because i am only 16 i got a restricted license and i have to attend traffic school as well as getting a point, i was wonder if i could get that point taken off?""

Cheapest insurance for a vauxhall Astra 1.4 55 reg?

I'm paying round 90 a month for a 1.4 Astra with tesco. Absolute rip off I live in a half decent area and have no claims over 9 years, why is it so expensive, pain in the ****!!!""

Car insurance/traffic ticket question?

I got a ticket for speeding (67 in a 50) a little over 8 months ago. I took it to court because it was a first offense and got the points down from 2 to 1. I never got anything from my insurance company, so I thought I got lucky and my rates would stay the same. About three weeks ago, we had a bad wind storm in Maryland and a tree limb fell on my jeep. I reported it the same day and the insurance is fixing. Yesterday I got a letter in the mail from my insurance saying my rates were going up from the ticket in March. Do you think that my report of the tree limb triggered them to look at my driving record and raise the rate or is it just a coincidence that this happened at the same time?""

How can I get medical insurance if I have a history of pancreatitis?

I've never had medical insurance b/c I've never had a reason too. Never had any major sickness before now, never a broken bone and never sprained anything. My pancreas suddenly became inflamed. It wasn't caused by drinking, I hate the stuff! I believe it was caused by smoking. I've had a few episodes of pancreatitis and was hospitalized once in which it cost an arm and a leg. Should have went to the hospital this last time, but I was so scared of the extra costs. Your pancreas is a major organ. You can't live without it. Am I going to just have to grin and bare it and leave a debt to my family when I die?! I tried applying for the discount but I wasn't eligible b/c I don't have a job. I haven't had one in 4 years. What are you to do. No insurance company will accept me due to the medical problems. I'm scared of what I'll be charged, but even more scared of the pancreas killing me.""

Rental car insurance?

Do I have to get rental car insurance in va from hertZ

Insurance Question ??

well im 16 and im most likey getting a car this weekend (the one i want is a 1997 mitsubishi eclips spider convertible) i was just wondering how much insurance will be ?? thanks i realy need to know .

Pregnant and no insurance?

Im 16, And im pregnant. My father doesn't qualify for insurance. and cant afford for insurance. I Live in California what do i do?""

Car Insurance Cancelled due to not sending documentation...?

I recently had a car insurance policy cancelled due to not sending off my documentation (driving licence & counterpart) in time. So, I started to apply for a new quote, and it asked if I'd ever had a policy cancelled, I ticked yes, and in comparison to begin with the quote doubled. This was because of the cancelled policy. I assume they do this because people have policies cancelled due to non payments, however, obviously mine wasn't. Is there any way I can get around this because it wasnt actually cancelled because I didn't pay...?? Please help, as an 18 year old girl car insurance is expensive enough! Thanks""

I do not have auto insurance and my license is suspended (child support). I live in California?

Is the other driver still responsible to pay for damages to my car? He has insurance. What do I do first? Thank you for your help

Question for any car insurance agents...?

When sitting at a red light, how much distance is required in between cars? I ask because I was in a 3 car accident when I was rear ended and the impact caused me to be pushed into the car in front of me. Who is responsible for the damage to the last car?""

What are the cheapest cars to insure?

Best way to save money on car insurance?

I'm 16 now, and I'm planning on learning to drive a car. I heard that if you have a driver license at 16 years old but you DON'T buy a car, which means you don't buy a car or drive a car or anything like that for 3 or 4 years, your car insurance will be deducted. So I have a couple of questions: 1. Is the statement above correct for California? 2. If #1 is wrong, then if I buy a car but don't drive it, will the money still be deducted after 3 or 4 years? 2. Is there any other ways to lower money spending on car insurance? 3. I also heard that you can combine your driver license with one of family members, but the money will be raised up a little bit. Is this true? And how can I combine my license to other family member?""

Does car insurance depend on how much miles you drive?

will my car insurance be cheaper if i chose less miles on my insurance quote and how does the insurance company know how much miles i drive

My mums taking out insurance but i want to be added as a driver.?

well i have recently passed and my mum is taking out insurance on a car but i will be added as a driver, now when i went to get a quote i was told that they cannot do this due to reasons of me only doing it to get cheaper car insurance, he also said that this could get me points on my license??? is this true ?""

Who has the cheapest renters insurance in california?

I am a police officer and I want cheap car insurance...any company suggestions?

Can you have insurance on a leased car ? Is leasing a good idea?

I want to have insurance and the car will be a daily driver just around my city .Helppppp

Does it hurt my credit score when I ask for quotes for auto insurance?

I just turned 25 and I'm tired of getting hosed on my premiums. I want to start shopping around but I know that the insurance companies check your credit score. What's the best way to go about getting quotes?

What would the insurance quote be for a 2011 Honda Civic 4-door Sedan?

Im doing a car project for school and we need to price cars and get insurance quotes and I am having trouble finding an insurance quote becasue mst of the websites want to mail the quote to your house which i dont have time to wait 4 cuz the project is due thrusday, or thye assume ur buying the car. So can anyone tell me what a reasonably quote wud b for this particular car or waht websites i can use that wud give me free, instant quotes. Thanks By the way for the project we only have to estimate insurance for the first year and im 18yrs old so what wud the quote be based on this as well.""

First timer buying Car Insurance?

It will be my first time buying car insurance next month and I am looking to get any advice if possible. I am in the Toronto area and I'm on a budget! What kind of things should I look out for other than price? I'm not even sure what to ask, so ANY advice is helpful -- and even more helpful if you can list some of the cheaper ones!""

second home insurance quotes

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/silas-alabama-cheap-car-insurance-quotes-zip-36919-jean-davis/"

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dangerouscrusadefire-blog · 6 years

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When will I be fined if I don’t get health insurance (Obamacare)?

"When will I be fined if I don't get health insurance (Obamacare)?

Hello, Not that I'm planning on not getting health insurance but I was just wondering--- Enrollment begins Tuesday (at least here in California). I know that there is a fine for not signing up ($95 or 1% of income, whichever is higher from what I have read) However..I cannot find one answer on WHEN you will be fined if you don't sign up. Will it be during this upcoming tax season? Or next year for 2014 taxes? I'm just wondering because I start full time school and will be cutting to about 20 hours a week at my job (as opposed to full-time status that I work now) I do not currently have insurance because my job does not offer it and I do not qualify for Medicaid (because somehow I make too much money even though I can barely afford to pay my bills...) So I plan on signing up for Blue Shield or something of that nature once I cut my hours because it will be much cheaper than if I sign up now. Thanks! Any feedback regarding this would be great but my main concern is being fined. Please let me know when that fine will come into play.

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://howmuchisinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr

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What are short-term life insurance needs?

I currently have a 5 year term life insurance policy with State Farm and I was wondering if it were possible for me to make a withdrawl or loan from this policy. I researched this some and on some websites it said it wasn't possible; however whenever I look on State Farms website it says the below: The State Farm 5 Year Term policy provides affordable life insurance protection for a five year period and is renewable for subsequent 5-year periods until age 85 (age 80 in NY). It is great for covering any short-term life insurance needs you may have. Short-term life insurance needs may include such things as: * Car loan * College tuition * Home equity loan * Mortgage loan * Business loan * Student loan * Key employee Term insurance may also be appropriate when your life insurance needs are great but your budget is tight. Does this mean I can make a withdrawal so that I can pay off my student loans? Also, it seems that my policy has ended in December; however, I was still charged this month. The policy started in 2005.""

Can I insure a Car under My Insurance if I am not on the title?

I just bought a used car and had my fiance's mother finance it under her name because she got me a 7% APR which is really good compared to what I would have gotten. The finance guy at the dealership said to just have the car under her name to get that great rate and leave me off the loan completely. I will be making the payments, driving it, & insuring it. She is just the person who's name is on the title (so I could get that great APR rate) Now, I was just wondering, can I insure the vehicle under my policy even though my name is not on the title? I am kind of worried that my insurance company will not let me insure the car because my name is not on the title. Does anyone have any experiences or knowledge about this sort of thing? Thank you for your help""

Do i have to have a motorcycle license to get motocycle insurance?

How do I know if my auto insurance settlement offer is fair?

Vw r32 any idea on insurance?

hi i am 23 year old female with 2 years no claims. just lookign for a very rough idea of costs to insure an r32, any similar ppl can tell me? thanks""

Questions about homeowners insurance?

I called my insurance company, and they said it wont cost anything if I add my girlfriend onto the insurance policy. My question is if I add her on and dont get additional coverage and something goes wrong. Will My insurance cmpany give me a hard time GOD for bid something goes wrong. For example if something gets stolen or my house burns down, will my homeowners insurance say that they wont cover my furnature or tv etc because they can say it is my girlfriends or will I be ok?""

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Okay so a friend of mine hit my brothers car in our driveway today. We live in Alabama ... my friend has Alfa insurance and my brother has country financial. Both have full coverage. When we called to make the report the officer that came said that since it was on private property my friends insurance will not pay that my brothers insurance will.. my brother has a 500$ deduct able. So basicly I have 2 questions. 1.) Just because its private property why will my friends insurance not pay for it? 2.) How much will be played out of pocket because the damage is about 1500 if not more. (Its a new car 2011, the door is pushed in to the point the door can't open and window can't go down)""

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A Vespa is a scooter. What is the average cost of scooter insurance?

My car insurance rate went down?

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Car insurance questions (Still on parent's plan)?

I have a few questions... Is there a set age where I can no longer be on my mom's car insurance? Or is it completely up to her? For example can two adults (both in their 40's) be on the same insurance? I am 19. I currently live with my mom. If I were to move out, can I still be on her insurance? If I don't go to college, can I still be on her insurance? I heard you need to be a full time student to be on a parent's insurance? If I were to buy a car, would it have to be in her name?""

What is the cheapest auto insurance for michigan?

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How much does Mexican auto insurance cost?

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Help me with my car insurance question!?

i am currently insured on my grandfathers insurance as a secondary driver because they gave me their car when they paid it off. well now im selling that car and we are wondering how the insurance will work? will i just be able to switch it over to my new car though it will be in my name now instead of his? should i just put the name of the car in my grandfathers name to make things easier? or can it still be done with a reasonable increase on my car insurance? right now i pay 500 every 6 months because of my good driving record and i get the student discount, how much more will it go up if i have a car under my name?""

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Why am I paying more for my insurance because of my credit?

So, I recently paid off all my debt that was racked up from an irresponsible boyfriend. My score is in the high 600's, so pretty mediocre....but I'm relieved that I don't have any debt. The insurance I pay on my car is a higher quote than normal due to my credit and I'm just curious why that would influence the rates. How does having past outstanding debt mean I am a bad or unsafe driver? I am 30, have a college degree, have a good job, don't have anything negative on my driving record. I just don't think that it's fair to be charged more than another person because of spending habits; the two (in my mind) are completely unrelated.""

Can a financial advisor from AXA sell you New York life insurance?

I'd like to know if a financial advisor that works for AXA Advisors offer clients New York Life insurance products. Thanks in advance! I'm in CA by the way.

What questions do car insurance agents ask?

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does any body no of a decent car insurance for an 18 year old ?

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""I had a car accident,but i don't have insurance.?""

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How can I tell the difference between a regular car insurance policy ,and a group insurance policy?""

When will I be fined if I don't get health insurance (Obamacare)?

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When to buy motorcycle insurance?

I'm planning to buy a used motorcycle from a private party within the coming month or so. My question is, do i buy the motorcycle first, take it home, then get it insured? Or do i legally have to buy insurance first before i can purchase it from the private party?""

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My mom is 55 years old and lives in another state as me. I currently work and live in Pennsylvania at a great company that provides health insurance, dental, vision, etc. I cannot add her to my policy, as much as I would like to so I would like to try and find a policy for her. My dad works for a company that provides health insurance, however the cost of health insurance to him and my mother (who live together and are married) is extremely high. Currently, they are seeking alternatives so that my dad is covered under insurance through his company and my mom can get coverage through a third party company at a lower rate. The rate they are asking my father to pay to have both of them on the coverage policy is insanely high. I pay about $55 a month for health insurance and they are at least quadruple that. I'm looking for suggestions for a reliable and trusted company (Aetna, Anthem, etc.) that would provide individual health insurance at an affordable rate, if anyone knows of anything.""

Car Insurance - No claims bonus-?

As I understand it no claims bonuses can be retained for a maximum 2 years after expiration of last insurance. Its approaching two years since I owned a car and had insurance for it. My father added me to his own policy to be able to drive his car , does this mean I will be allowed to keep my no claims bonus when I eventually get my own car and insurance again ?? I dont want to lose my 8 years no claims. Many thanks in advance to all answerers :)""

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Fire Insurance...?

which Company offers lowest rate for fire insurance excluding the liability?

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my teeth are chipped pretty badly, and it's causing me a lot of discomfort. i've had them sanded before to smooth the chipping, but they're already little. would insurance cover this? (united healthcare)""

I just got pulled over for not having my seat buckle on and I'm wondering how much my insurance will go up?

This is the first time I've EVER been pulled over and I've had my license for a little over a year now. I get good grades and all that stuff so my insurance is pretty low for the average person right now. I'm wondering how much my insurance will go up? SOMEONE HELP! Kinda freaking out here. :p

Auto Insurance Question.?

Just want to know if your supposed to know the exact dates of your tickets when you get insurance. Because I have 4 tickets and when I get quotes online they always tell me to enter the date. And I just enter a random date b/c I dont really know. And also they say by how much you were speeding. Which I also dont remember. Do you NEED this information? What If you don't enter it? Is it like against the law? And also if it is needed what do I do? I never had my own insurance so I have no clue. Thanks

How much is Car Insurance in Korea?

I live in Korea and am looking for a car insurance package that's inexpensive. I've been told they're about 300,000 Won per year, but I'm sure there are cheaper options available. Thanks!""

Homeowners insurance in Valrico FL?

I am interested in buying a home in Valrico FL. Particularly Diamond Hill, a golf course community. Great price, but we are new at buying and have no idea what insurance might be on this place.Just to factor it in for our monthly cost. It is a 3/2/2 1800 sq ft @ $110k. no pool. I mean were talking just a rough estimate, close figure something. Again we have not the slightest clue as to what it could be. Any advice is really appreciated.""

What types of car insurance are there?

I'm a confused soon-to-be licensed driver. My mom just got my sister (who is 18) some type of insurance for driving. From what I know, it's expensive. But I know that our car has insurance. What kind of insurance did my sister possibly get and how does it differ from the insurance for the car itself? Is there personal insurance for each driver? Is it required or is the car insurance only the main requirement? Which type of car insurance/s is required???...(sorry if my question doesn't make sense. I dont know how else to word it lol)""

""Car insurance, accident related question.?""

I have been recently involved in a car accident where the other driver ran a red light and totaled my car. I have witnesses, police reports and the individual that crashed in me got a red light ticket. My neck has severely been strained from the accident also lower back and right leg. I am going through an injury law firm and they recommended me to a rehabilitation clinic. The money that this rehabilitation clinic will receive will be from my insurance company but will I have to pay for it in the following years in my policy. Or will my record be clean and my insurance premiums will not go up? Thanks.""

How much is car insurance for a 17 year old boy.?

i am international student from china. i really want to have my own car, but my guardian told me the insurance for teens is very expensive. i want to know how much is it per year or per month. i live in mn""

Cheapest insurance company for teenage boys?

im a teenage boy in new jersey whos about to get my license, im looking into getting my own insurance but im not sure which company to choose. ill be getting a brand new car and my grades are good, so does anyone have an idea how much itll cost me annually?""

Car insurance on a Mustang gt?

I'm a male, 19, years old going on 20 next month.. I'm wanting to save up for an older model (1999-2003) Mustang gt. I know there are different kinds of auto insurance agencies around but can someone maybe give me a rough estimate of how much i would have to pay each month for my own insurance? I've had no accidents or tickets/ felonies ever since my driver's license have been issued to me.. And i drive about 15 miles to work one way and 20 miles to college one way. Thanks!""

Camaro Vs. Mustang which is cheaper?

Camaro vs. Mustang which is affortable? Would a 2012 Camaro Coupe more affortable than a Mustang 2012 Mustang. By affortable i mean like insurances/ gas/ and all that other stuffs. Which one is cheaper in total to own? TY

Different car insurance quote from same provider?

Hi, i went on a comparison site called Q4 insure and had a cheap car insurance quote from a company called ecar which i was very pleased with. i checked the benefits etc and i was quite happy. I went to their website to go direct and to see and make sure that there wasn't any mistakes or extra details i needed to give and the quote came back 800 more! does anyone have any idea why this is?? i done everything exactly the same and was very honest with my answers.""

I am looking for federal court cases related to insurance claims?

How do people with preexisting conditions get affordable health insurance in America?

When will I be fined if I don't get health insurance (Obamacare)?

How do i pay for car insurance?

i'm 17 years old and moving out. me and my parents do not get along. i'm buying my own car but i do not know how i'm going to pay for the insurance? i do not know much about anything. i can't get a credit card because i'm not 18 so what should i do? is there a different way?

Will I be paying two deductibles or one for two car accidents different insurances?

Hi, Today I hit a car that is of a stranger and we exchanged information about each other's insurance. That person's insurance company and mine are different. We didn't ...show more""

What auto insurance coverage is mandatory in the state of Florida?

I know (PIP)- Personal Injury Protection and (PDL) property damage liability is required and I thin uninsured motorist coverage is required but I'm not sure about bodily injury liabilty

How do you get proof of car insurance without a car ?

...so will no longer be using my car . the insurance company is requiring...

""Im a new driver and my insurance in 1600 or above, i have tried all the cheapest cars!?""

i have just passed my driving test and i am looking for a cheap run around car to start me off, ive tried all the cheap cars (fiestas, peugeots and much more) but nothing seems to take my insurance lower, does anyone have any ideas...???? thanks.""

What is a good insurance for a home recording studio?

A recording studio has been set up at home, all i need to know is which insurance will cover it.. and the websites?""

My car under my parents insurance?

Ok i have a hypothetical question...Say if my car is in my name, and i am under my parents insurance...And i get in a major accident are they liable? Are they at more risk if i am in their name but i own the car?""

Car accident with no insurance?

I'm 19, and the car I was driving was constantly breaking down. When it was completely broken for two months, I stopped paying my insurance and instead saved back money to get the car fixed. My insurance canceled during that time. When I got it fixed on Friday, I was planning on renewing my insurance Tuesday, a day I had off work. Unfortunately, Saturday morning I got into a car accident. I was turning out of my apartment entrance to get to a middle lane where I could then get onto another road, and somehow didn't see a car close enough to hit me. He t boned me in the drivers side. Somehow neither of us got hurt. My car is pretty much done and his car, while not as bad as mine, did get some split open damage. The ticket says the damage is worth 3,000. Since I had no insurance at the time, how will this get payed??? I have a court date on the 9th to discuss the fact of my no insurance...I'll have coverage by then of course, but I'd like to know what I should expect...""

Do you know any reasonably priced (if there are any) health insurance companies?

I am retiring, and wife has to purchase her own coverage.""

Whats the average cost to insure a car through personal business insurance?

I am a carer and I need to insure my car through personal business insurance does anybody have any idea how much it would cost for a 1.2 punto to be insured?

Can Obamacare reduce my health insurance cost? And when does this go into effect?

My annual income is low and my health insurance is blueshield active start35 and its $200 a month for the premium. Will Obamacare help reduce my monthly premium and when will this go into effect? What steps would I need to take? Thank you

""If your added to a car's insurance, can you start driving right away or do you need to wait until you get the?

document in the mail

How much is motocross insurance?

Hey guys just wondering how much a motocross insurance quote would be im just looking for coverage if i get an injury im 16 and need affordable quotes thanks

How expensive is it to live in California?

I live in a small town in Ohio. It's like lower middle class. I really want to go somewhere else with more people and more exciting with more places to shop and stuff. I hate Ohio and don't want to live here. I have a dream to be a fashion designer and start my own business and I want to go to California for a Fashion Design school. It was between New York and California but California seems more exciting and less crowded than NY. My parents don't think it'll ever happen. They always say it's too expensive and don't think my cousin will make it out there, who is going out there pretty much for like drug reasons. My brother went out there when he was younger with his friends, they drove there and he lived on the beach than came back. So, exactly how expensive is it in California? Food, clothing, gas, living, price differences? Is it really crowded like in Los Angeles and San Franciso or bigger cities where colleges are?""

How long with a car accident affect your insurance rates in California?

I was found at fault for two accidents (damage >$750) a couple years ago and also got ticketed for turning right on a red at a no right on red light. I just spoke with my car insurance company and was told that the accidents will remain on my record for 5 years. Is that true? I looked up the DMV code for California and it looks like the accidents are reportable for only 3 years (no one was hurt, no felony or criminal charges - these were small fender benders). Is the reporting time really 5 years?""

Can The Insurance Be In Someone Else's Name When You Finance A Car?

I want to finance a car, i know full coverage insurance under my name won't be cheap but can like a family member put full coverage insurance on my car through their name (i'll pay the bill) so it can be cheaper...? thanks""

Insurance rates-will they increase with 1 speeding ticket-58 years old?

will my insurance increase with one speeding ticket? i have aaa auto insurance

How much would car insurance cost a 16 year old guy?

I live in Connecticut and drive a 2004 volvo xc90 2.5t. I have a 3.5 gpa and will most likely have insurance with middlesex mutual. What can I expect my car insurance to cost per month/year?

Isn't it mathematically impossible for EVERY car insurance company to save me $300 if I switch to them?

I'm just complaining about the Lyin' Lizzards, so don't bother pasting in a car insurance website, and don't bother telling me that it's just advertising. First person who doesn't read this part is an idiot. And the first person to tattle on them in their answer gets the 10 points. Good luck! The hunt is on!""

What are insurance rates on a ninja zx 6r?

Proof of auto insurance -- car's or driver's?

I would be driving my cousin's car for a while. Which proof of auto insurance do I need to carry in his car -- my auto insurance card (which lists MY car) or my cousin's insurance card, which lists HIS car -- the one I would be driving? Seems I am confused about WHAT needs to have auto insurance -- the driver or the car.""

""Returned glasses, what about insurance?""

I got glasses from lenscrafters, my insurance company paid $194 and I paid $130 for the glasses. I kept getting headache after using these glasses so I returned them back to Lenscrafters. They paid my $130 but I would like to know what will happen to $194 that my insurance company paid to lenscrafters. When I asked lenscrafters they asked me to inform insurance company to revoke the transaction but I see that my insurance company has already paid them. Please let me know my next steps here.""

How much will insurance cost? (teen driver)?

im 16 and im getting my license in a week or so and i was wondering how much will the insurance cost? im going to be driving a 2003 corolla and my parents have state farm. any help? thanks!

Roughly how much would it cost to insure a 17 year old male on a renault clio 1.2?

Its silver and just a standard model (not sport or anything extra etc..) And is from 2002 (51 reg) any help appriecated thanks :)

I would like to change my car on my exsiting car insurance policy? Help?

I have had my insurance policy on a peugeot 207 1.4 8v insurance group 3 since last december and would now like to change it to either a bmw 116i ig 10 or a bmw 120i ig 13. My policy cost 3500 how much will it increase by on either of these cars? Thank you.

When will I be fined if I don't get health insurance (Obamacare)?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/what-best-company-cheap-car-insurance-paula-petty"

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topinforma · 7 years

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New Post has been published on Mortgage News

New Post has been published on http://bit.ly/2kEMr8j

A Creative Way to Fund Your Entrepreneurial Passion: Your 401(k)

I want to get out of the corporate rat race and follow my passion! But how do I pay for this?

SEE ALSO: 10 Things You Must Know About 401(k)s

Boy, if I had a nickel for every time I have heard this, I’d be a wealthy man.

Recently, I was talking with Mathew, a friend of a client. Mathew is a senior executive in large national company and is looking for a change of scene. A change so he can pursue what he’s really good at and loves to do, but doesn’t have the opportunity to do in the company where he is now.

He’s been pretty successful but is frustrated with the corporate bureaucracy that gets in the way of his good ideas. So, he’s looking at creating his own enterprise but has some critical questions.

Ever heard this before? We certainly have.

It seems to be happening all the time and not just among younger entrepreneurs. The fastest-growing area in business start-ups is coming from the 50- and 60-year-old segment of the population. They are taking the risks not necessarily out of need, but because they are seeing opportunities.

These entrepreneurs have been and interesting group for financial advisers to work with, according to Greg Bresiger in an article he wrote for Financial Advisor magazine.

Bresiger gave some good examples of questions to ask: What’s the real goal? Are you ready to compete with the 28-year-old who is eager to work 80 hours a week? Are you tapping your experience base or going into something completely new? What if it fails?

So, having considered all of this, you’ve done your homework and you’re ready to start the new enterprise. Where will the money come from? Family? Friends? A small-business loan? A home equity loan? What about your 401(k) plan assets?

What!!? My 401(k)? Are you nuts?

You’re willing to sacrifice your retirement dollars and start a business on your own. What have you been smoking? After all, small businesses fail at a very high rate, with over 1 out of 3 going under in the first two years and half failing within five years.

In addition, how do you get at the 401(k) dollars without paying income tax on the money as it comes out, and even a penalty if you’re younger than 59½?

Ever heard of a “rollover-as-business-startup” transaction? Let’s just call it “ROBS” for short.

I hadn’t heard of it either until a few months ago.

So, how exactly does this work, and how does the IRS feel about it?

Let’s start with the IRS. They looked into this in 2010 and their Employee Plans Compliance Unit concluded this was not abusive in avoiding taxes, but certainly only would benefit one person – the 401(k) owner.

I’m going to say it now, and I’ll repeat this at the end, you need to make sure you’re working with a professional who really understands how this all works. If your CPA is helping you with this, you need to know that this person is well versed in the ROBS process and feels like it makes sense for you.

CPAs are, by nature, pretty conservative, so be sure yours is willing to be a little outside the box on this idea, and truly understands the process.

Let’s now look at how this all comes together.

Both tax law and ERISA (Employee Retirement Income Securities Act of 1974) law have some exemptions designed to allow investments in small business, sort of like what an Employee Stock Option Plan (ESOP) does.

You start by setting up the company as a C-type corporation that has a 401(k) plan of its own. The owner transfers funds from the previous employer’s 401(k) plan into the new 401(k) plan, and that plan buys shares in the new company, thereby becoming a shareholder of the new company.

So right here there are going to be some costs associated with starting a corporation and creating a 401(k) plan, so don’t be surprised.

Here are a couple of key points:

The funds rolled over from your previous retirement plan are not taxed, so there are no income taxes to pay nor any potential early withdrawal penalties if you are under age 59 ½.

Also, you need to understand that you, as an owner, are a different entity from the 401(k), which is also an owner. Even though it was your retirement money in the first place, you need to operate as if the 401(k) owner is a really picky partner, and make sure you follow the 401(k) rules to the letter.

If there are other employees of the company, they must be offered the chance to buy stock also, otherwise the IRS would not be satisfied the company plan meets the necessary requirements.

Other IRS issues revolve around the filing of various tax forms, most often the 5500 form, which, in the case of ROBS, needs to be filed annually.

And you should expect the IRS to pay extra attention to you, making sure you do everything by the book.

Do you see the need for working with someone familiar with all of these requirements? You better!

And you still have a live, working 401(k) plan that comes with the costs of administration and the requirements of making sure any current or future employees understand the workings of the plan. And the plan trustee, you the business owner, is a fiduciary of the plan, and as such, needs to always act in the best interest of the plan, not just themselves.

And here is the time to make sure that the new business owner understands the complexities of a 401(k) plan and should know enough to hire a professional plan administrator to make sure all of the details of the plan are taken care of.

If all of this seems like a lot of extra stuff to deal with, it is, but the overall benefits might just outweigh the hoops that need to be jumped through.

For example, there’s no need to take out a loan, have the debt to pay back, and you get to forgo the delight of dealing with a lending institution – a bank usually – which comes with all of the documentation and lending underwriting and all of the other requirements that banks demand.

Remember, banks like to lend to people who don’t really need to borrow the money in the first place. It’s not likely that it’s the person wanting to start their own business. At least not without a huge commitment to collateralizing the loan from the start.

But the upside is that you, the owner, are in control, at least from a financial point of view, without the bank as your unwanted “partner.”

And don’t forget another key issue – the new business owner doesn’t have to stop saving for retirement.

They have set up the 401(k) plan in the first place, and as an employee, they will have the ability to make contributions to the plan from their income, therefore continuing to grow their retirement assets.

As I said before, and it requires repeating, you need to make sure you’re working with a professional who really understands how this will all work.

I can’t caution you enough about this idea. You are taking a huge risk with your “retirement” money. You truly need to know if you can afford to mess up your retirement to follow your dream. Remember the failure rate of small businesses mentioned earlier.

And it’s very prudent to have some other substantial funds set aside just in case this doesn’t work out.

Don’t put all of your retirement “eggs” into this one “basket.”

Is this something that’s right for everyone? Of course not, but it just might be the right fit for that great idea you’ve been hatching for a long time, just wondering how the heck you were going to come up with the funds to make it happen.

ROBS (rollover-as-business-startup) could be the solution.

And for heaven’s sake do your homework first.

Here are some additional resources if you want to find out more about the ROBS process.

From the Small Business Administration: https://www.sba.gov/blogs/can-your-retirement-plan-own-your-business

From the IRS: https://www.irs.gov/retirement-plans/employee-plans-compliance-unit-epcu-completed-projects-project-with-summary-reports-rollovers-as-business-start-ups-robs

More from the IRS: https://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-tege/robs_guidelines.pdf

See Also: Entrepreneur’s Guide to Sucess

Charles C. Scott, Accredited Investment Fiduciary®, has more than 30 years of experience in the financial services industry. “Our mission is to help our clients discover, design and live the life that they want to live by matching their finances with their visions, values and goals.”

Comments are suppressed in compliance with industry guidelines. Our authors value your feedback. To share your thoughts on this column directly with the author, click here.

This article was written by and presents the views of our contributing adviser, not the Kiplinger editorial staff.

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