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#(also side note i've been trying to write ids are they any good lol)
seawaveleo · 11 months
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complimentary trash for the cleaning lady!
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krakenartificer · 3 years
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When I got my ADHD diagnosis, I looked at the questions on the screening form and thought, "If this result comes back positive, then I'm definitely not the only person in my family who has it." Questions like
"Have difficulty finishing one activity before starting another one" and
"I finish others' sentences before they can finish it themselves" and
"have trouble staying on one topic when talking"
...I thought were just weird quirks of my family, but no. When I got my results, I contacted my cousin, and she contacted her sisters and mother, and .. .. yeah. Basically everyone in my dad's side of the family is ADHD.
Now there are some problems with that, obviously, (getting family reunions to stick to a schedule is lol no) but there are some really fantastic perks. For one thing, no one in that family minds if I interrupt them while they're talking ... everyone's happy to keep 3 conversations going at the same time .... and no one minds if you fidget constantly.
But the best perk -- at least that I've found so far -- is that all of our parents have coping mechanisms, and passed them on to us. When I found myself unable to handle tasks with more than one step, my father didn't say "WTF are you talking about? It's easy! Just do the thing! Stop being lazy!" No, he could relate completely, and he sat down and taught me how to handle that.
So today, I'm going to pass on to you the coping mechanism my dad taught me for handling the "cannot put tasks in order / cannot get started / forget what I'm doing" problem. You'll need to adjust it for your own needs and your own struggles, but hopefully it'll be helpful in setting up your own process.
I'm going to walk through it with a big project I'm doing at work, just to have a concrete example. That will make some of the discussion specific to computer programming and technical writing, but I do the same thing for all my projects, so hopefully it'll be generalizable.
So to set the stage:
I was supposed to modify this piece of code -- we'll call it "Rosetta" -- to make it handle call data as well as what it was already doing. I did that.... but we now need the code to be able to handle calls (if that's wanted) but also to be able to handle NOT having calls (if THAT'S wanted).
Which is just .... ugh. So much. SOOOOOOOO much.
So. Break it down.
Step one is to get some recording mechanism - pen and paper, whiteboard, blank computer document, whatever
(Technically, this is a different coping strategy, so we'll just take a quick detour: WRITE THINGS DOWN. Your brain is shit at remembering things, and anyway you've already got limits on your working memory; why would you choose to tie up some of that limited resource in something that could be accomplished with literal stone-age technology? Don't even try to remember things. WRITE THEM DOWN.)
I like sticky notes: they're readily available in all offices, they're pretty cheap, and (most importantly) they can be rearranged if it turns out that I forgot a step or put the steps in the wrong order (which, like, let's be honest, I am definitely going to do). But they kill trees and create unnecessary methane emissions, so I've recently switched over to using virtual sticky notes. That's the format I'm going to use for this example, but you can use anything that meets your purposes.
So, you've got something to write with, you're ready to start.
The first question is: what are you trying to accomplish here? What would "done" look like? What is our goal?
I need to end up with a version of Rosetta that will make the correct results if you don't want calls, and will also make the correct results if you do.
The goal here is that you end up with a statement that you can definitively say (a) Yes this is what I wanted or (b)No this is not right because _______
In this case, in order to do that, I'll need to define "correct results" for both call- and non-call versions. But if I have that nailed down, then this statement meets that criterion: I'll be able to say "Yes, this is what I wanted: see, it makes the correct result for calls, and it makes the correct result for not-calls". Or else I'll be able to say, "No, this is wrong: see, it makes the correct result for calls, but on not-calls it does X and we wanted Y."
I have a clear, definitive standard about what I need to do and whether or not I've done it.
But there was a prerequisite there: I need to define "correct results".
So that goes on a sticky note: Create test that will compare my results to existing call!Rosetta-results and to existing not-call!Rosetta-results.
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[ID: Two blue boxes, one on top of the other. The top one says in white text "Create test to compare my results to call!results" The bottom one says "Create test to compare my results to not-call!results"] OK. So now we know what we want. The second question is: what do we need to do in order to get that? Here's where the sticky-note recording system really shines, because you don't have to answer this question sequentially. You just start writing down every single thing that is not the way you want it to end up.
I need it to remove commas in the python script, not the bash script
I need to delete the first part of the get_runs() function, which doesn't do anything
I need to delete the rest of the parameters passed to build_query_script() function, because runs encompasses all the others
while we're on that subject, runs doesn't even need the group_variable, so let's pull that out of the parameter document
we also have a dmf defined, which the bash script demands but doesn't use; let's change that demand
since we're changing the structure of the parameter document, we don't need to pull new metrics for each run, so let's move that outside of the runs() loop and only run once
right now the parameter document is ALMOST but not quite "one row per template". Make it so it's actually one row per template.
among other things, that's going to require making it possible for a template to be followed by nothing at all, since it's the assumption that a template will have a metrics block after it that makes it not quite one row per template. So make it possible to publish a template with a null block
the other thing that's weirdly hard-coded is the definition of what a block looks like. Would it make more sense to separate that out into an input file, like the parameters document? On the one hand, that would make it much more flexible; on the other hand, that's another piece that can break. Don't know. Put a question mark on it.
etc
Here's what it looks like at the end of this step:
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[ID: A black and white background showing many boxes in two different shades of blue, all with white text. Some of the boxes are overlapping each other.]
As you can see, at this phase you don't need to worry about any of the following:
ordering the tasks. Just stick 'em right on top of each other for now
how you're going to do any of this. Right now we just need to know what, not how
sticking to only one project. As I was working on this, it occurred to me that this whole process would have been a heck of a lot easier if someone had just made a user manual for this, and since I have to go through all the code line-by-line anyway, I might as well write up the documentation while I'm at it. (To help out future-me, if nothing else.) So I put those tasks on another color of sticky note.
making notes that make any ***ing sense to anyone else. This process is for you, and only you need to understand what you're talking about it. Phrase it in ways that make sense to your brain, and to hell with anyone else.
on that topic, also don't worry about making steps that are "too small" or "too dumb" to write down. This is for you. If "save document" feels like a step to you, then write it down.
You also don't need to get every single step involved in the project right now. Get as many as you can, to be sure, but the process is designed on the assumption that you ARE going to forget important steps, and is designed to handle that.
When you can't think of any more steps, then the third question is: what order does it make sense to do these in? Are there any steps that would be easier if you did another step first? Are there any that literally cannot be done unless another step is complete?
This is also a good place to group steps if they fit together nicely. When I used physical sticky notes, I used two different sizes; digitally I can of course make them whatever size I want.
So I have several documentation steps that (a) do need to be written to make sense to other people and (b) I really need to know what's going on before I can do that. I could write them now, but if I did, I'd just end up re-writing them based on things that change as I'm coding. So we'll move those to the end:
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[ID: Three dark blue boxes with white text. They read "Create step-by-step instructions for creating your own metric agg", "Create step-by-step instructions for modifying a metric", "Create step-by-step instructions for modifying a query."]
These parts, though -- if I had all the variable structures written down, I could look at them while I'm coding. Then I won't have to keep scrolling back and forth in the code, trying to remember if it's an array or a dictionary while also trying to remember what part of the code I was working on. Brilliant. Move that to the front.
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[ID: Seven dark blue boxes with white text, three large, four small. The first one is large and says "Write up explanation of how Rosetta works." The second one is large and says "Document structure of all variables." Attached to that one are four smaller boxes that say "All_blocks", "Runs", "metric", "New_block". The third large one says "Document what qb_parameters.csv contains"]
Also, while I'm at it, I should get the list of variables I need to document -- then I won't have to keep scrolling to find them. Make those sub-steps.
I definitely keep needing to look up what's in the parameters document, so I should write that down, too. For the user manual I also should write down what's in the metric document, but I don't need that for myself, so I can send that to the end.
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[ID: The same three dark blue boxes from two screenshots ago (create step-by-step instructions for metric agg, modifying a metric, and modifying a query), now with another dark blue box in front of them with white text that says "Document what granular_metrics.tsv contains."]
These five are all small steps, and are all related in that they don't actually (hopefully) change the functionality of the code; they're just stuff left over from prior versions of this code. So we can lump them all together.
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[ID: Five light blue boxes with white text that say "Delete first part of get_runs()", "Have build_query_script only receive the "run" parameter" "Delete dmf" "Move metrics=get_metrics() outside build_all_blocks (all the way up to the top level?" "Delete group_variable from qp_parameters"]
My brain likes this better, so that I can keep track of fewer "main steps", but that's just a peculiarity of me -- you should lump and split however you prefer to make this process easier for you.
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[ID: The same five boxes from the prior screenshot, now all made smaller and attached to a larger box that says "Remove Legacy Code"]
Keep going, step by step, sticky by sticky, until you've got them in order. If -- while you're doing this -- you remember another thing you need to do, write it on a sticky and slap it on the pile; you don't have to stop what you're doing to deal with it, because it's written down and it's on the pile and it will get processed; you can just keep working on the thing you're on right now.
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[ID: All the same boxes from the first screenshot, now in a neat row. Some of the original boxes have been grouped together. The ones that were said to be at the beginning of the process are on the left and the ones that were said to be at the end are on the right.]
Step four: for the love of all that's holy, SAVE THIS LIST.
Write it on your cubicle whiteboard where it won't be erased
write it on a piece of paper and tape it to the office wall
send an email to yourself
take a picture with your phone
I don't care but save it.
When I used physical sticky notes, I kept them all on the hood of my cubicle's shelf. Now, as you can see, I use Powerpoint, which is irritating af but does allow me to keep everything in a single document, which I can write down the path of.
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[ID: White text on a black background says "open ~/Documents/Rosetta\ Modifications\ and \Documentation.pptx" The next line says "Notes in Rocketbook pg 10-12, 16" The next line says "Turn that into documentation that can be used for making modifications."]
And now (finally) you can answer the question "How would I even get started on that?" You look at the first thing on the list, and you treat it as its own project. You can hyperfocus on this step and completely forget about everything else this project requires, because everything you need to remember for the rest of it is written down.
If, as you're working a step, you think of something else you need to do for the big project, write it on a sticky and slap it on the pile. Don't even worry about trying to order it or identify sub-steps; as long as it's not blocking the thing you need to work on right now, you don't have to care. Just stick that bugger anywhere at all on the list, and go back to what you were doing. When you un-hyperfocus and come back to look at your list, there'll be a big sticky note stuck sideways across all the rest of the steps, and you'll remember to file and order it then.
Other benefits of this system
1) The first question really helps with unclear directions from your boss. You can take whatever they told you to do, and translate it into a requirement that is clearly either met or not-met, and then run it back by the boss.
If they say, "No, no, we want ______" then phew! You just saved a huge miscommunication and weeks of wasted work! What a good employee you are! What an excellent team player with strong communication skills!
If they say "Yes, that's what I want," then you know -- for sure -- what it is you're trying to accomplish. Your anxiety is reduced, and your boss thinks you're super-conscientious.
(And if your boss is a jerk who likes to move the goalposts and blame it on their subordinates, then have this conversation over email, so you can show it to their boss or to HR should it become necessary.)
2) Having this project map means that when you spend an hour staring at the requirements and trying to figure out how to get started (which, let's be honest, you were definitely going to do anyway) ... When your boss/coworker comes by and says, "How's it going?" Instead of having to say "I haven't even started 😞" You can say, "Pretty well! I've got all the steps mapped out and am getting ready to start on implementation!" and show them your list, and they think you're very organized and meticulous. 3) Sometimes, especially in corporate jobs, you and your coworkers will run into a problem that's too big for even Neurotypicals to hold all in their heads. At that point, the NTs will be completely lost -- they've never had to develop a way to handle projects they can't just look at and know how to get started. So then you pipe up in the meeting and say, "OK, well, what exactly are we trying to accomplish?" and everybody at the conference table looks at you like you're a goddamned genius and you don't have to tell them that you use this exact same process to remember how to make a sandwich 😅
4) Having this project map makes it so much easier to stop work and then start it up again later, but this post is already really really really long, so I'm going to address that in a separate (really really long) post.
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planetdemon · 3 years
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I just wanted to be a swan
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pairing: bang chan x reader
genre: angst, fluff, but mostly angst
warnings: low self-esteem, body hate/dislike, eating disorders, swearing, food, insecurities, arguing DONT READ IF YOU DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH IT!
wc: 2.003
note: so this scenario has been going through my head for quite a while now, and I tried writing it by myself lol. Hope it's good ;) I've also sent a request to @channienet about the same topic, so make sure to check her interpretation out as well! enjoy!
summary: Due to Chan's heavy working schedule, spending time alone was a thing you couldn't quite befriend with, especially after you've noticed some changes you have gone through. There is a to change it, but it isn't quite... let's say healthy. How will Chan react, after he finds out? Will he even care? (dude I'm shit at writing summary lol)
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Taking a bath was normally something that should be considered relaxing or calming. You've always enjoyed letting the hot water surround your body whilst taking all the dirt and negativity off that you have collected during stressful days at work.
But lately, taking a bath wasn't as enjoyable anymore as it once was. Chris has been working a lot lately, due to the kingdom stage and their nearing comeback. He has been spending more and more time at the company, working on producing new tracks for him and the kids, often staying at the dorms because they were closer to the studio than the apartment you shared. So you were left alone, by yourself.
Even though you wished he would be by your side while you were falling asleep, you couldn't be mad at him. You knew what his work meant to that boy and you would never tell him to stop doing what he loves just so you could spend some time together.
But being alone also meant that you had to kill the boredom somehow and, thanks to Felix's Brownie and Cookie recipes, you had the perfect thing to do in the meantime. Baking and eating delicious desserts.
You were just stepping out of the bathtub, grabbing the towel you had prepared, and drying yourself with it. Once your body was half-dried, you turned around to hang the towel back at the hanger, so it could dry properly.
And at that moment, you knew, you've fucked up. You couldn't avoid looking at your wet, naked body in the hot, steamy mirror near the hangers.
You always hated looking at it, but thanks to the sweets you had been eating lately, looking at yourself only made you feel sicker than it ever did.
You couldn't tear your gaze off the excess of flesh around your tummy and thighs and the stretch marks, that decored your boobs only seemed to scream "Look at me!". You slowly turned around and saw the tiger stripes creeping up your bum and the undersides of your arms.
'Fucking disgusting', that little voice in your head sneered.
'How could I let this come this far?', you thought. At this point, you were somehow happy Chris wasn't here, knowing he would be disgusted with how you've changed.
You've always felt a bit insecure by his side, knowing you could catch up with neither his attractiveness nor his muscular godlike body. But seeing yourself like this destroyed every little self-esteem you had left in your cells.
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It has been nearly two months since 'the incident' in the bathroom and you couldn't shake that feeling of disgusts off. Not even for one second.
You only wanted to try a one-week detox diet that was blowing up all over social media, hoping you could lose a little bit of weight, so you would be back to normal. But seeing the numbers on the scale dropping so unbelievably quickly only made you realize that you could look even better than you thought you could.
You kept on following the diet and restricting everything that wasn't included, not noticing that restricting also damaged your mind.
One time, Han and Felix asked you if you wanted to have lunch with them and the others, but fear crept up you back as soon as you thought about the food they would have ordered, knowing that you would only gain weight again if you didn't follow the rules.
So you stayed home, keeping yourself isolated from your friends and most importantly, Chan.
You were lying on my bed, scrolling through Tumblr when Chris' Caller ID showed up and your phone started to ring. You sighed lowly, not wanting to talk to him.
Over the past few months, you stopped showing up at the studio, being afraid the boys would notice the changes your body went through, thanks to the diet. You were happy about it, knowing that you were losing weight, but you haven't reached my goal. You were afraid, they would judge you the way you did when you looked at yourself.
"Chris?"
"y/n? Han just told me that you weren't coming over. Are you okay? Y-" Chris's muffled voice appeared and you felt instant regret deep in your guts, knowing how much fun you guys had when you spent time together back in the days.
"Yeah, I'm okay Channie, don't worry. I just feel a little sleepy. I'll come next time. Promise" You tried your best to sound optimistic or at least not too sad, hoping Chris would believe your lie. "Okay," he mumbled, "I love you, baby girl".
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You knew you were in big troubled the second Chris opened the fridge, seeing no food in there.
He randomly decided to stay over the weekend, saying that he missed you. You weren't ready for this, knowing that you couldn't hide the signs of the 'passion' you had developed in time.
"Why is there no food?" You fumbled with the arms of Chris sweater you were wearing while looking at the ground. "I've forgotten to go grocery shopping" You answered.
"But there is nothing in there, y/n. Nothing" He walked over and took hold of your cold hands while looking you straight in the eyes.
"Why is there no food?" Chris asked again.
"I just told you I forgot to go grocery shopping, Chan. Relax" You snapped back, getting anxious about the fact that he could notice something.
You were nearing your goal, even though you knew that you could never be satisfied with how you looked. He couldn't just come over and ruin all the progress you've made after being not here for so long. He doesn't have the right to do this.
"Don't fuck around, y/n. You always have at least some butter in your house. Where is the butter? Where is Ramen? You must have some food here!"
Your body started to shake as you heard his voice rise, keeping your gaze low, not daring to look him in the eyes right now. He was right.
You always had something at home, so you could quickly cook something when you were hungry. But you didn't saw a point in keeping food at home if you wouldn't eat it anyway. It would just rot.
"Y/n look at me" he whispered, after realizing that you were trembling. Chris gently grabbed your chin to make you look up at him. You were expecting to see anger, but the only thing you saw in his brown orbs was sadness.
You started to tear up after you noticed it, knowing that he put one and one together. You missing out on lunch with the boys, you not showing up at the studio to bring him food and spend with him there, listening to his tracks, you not having any food at home. It was obvious, but you still hoped he wouldn't notice.
Chris slowly took you in his arms, noticing how your figure felt smaller and bonier than before. It made him sick, knowing what you did to yourself. 'Why would my girl do something like this?' he thought 'how could my little princess torture herself this much?' But he couldn't find a 'because'.
In his eyes, you were the best thing that happened to him. You were the prettiest girl on earth. Warm tears were running down his pale cheeks, dropping to the floor.
He couldn't stop blaming himself for what you did. Maybe if he would have been there, he could have stopped you. Maybe if-
"Channie?" You quietly asked, looking up at his tear-stained cheeks. "Channie why are you crying? We can go to the store and grab something if you want. You don't-"
"Why have you been doing this to yourself, y/n?"
"What do you mean?"
"Why haven't you been eating"
Well, shit.
"What are you talking about, Channie?"
"Don't fucking lie to me, it's too obvious for you to do so. Why haven't you been eating?"
"I... I, I'm pressured Chan" You answered, knowing that he wouldn't believe you if you would tell him otherwise. Telling him the truth was the only option at this point, even though you didn't want to.
"Pressured?"
"Yes"
"Princess, I don't understand what you mean by that"
You shook your head and let go of him, before walking over to the couch and sitting down with a low sigh. "Maybe you shouldn't understand," I said.
"Jesus, y/n" I heard him mutter under his breath. He walked over and sat on the floor, in front of you, looking at you with a scared expression.
"Please tell me what's in that pretty little head of yours. I can see that you have lost weight, but I don't understand why. I mean, you are the prettiest human I have ever seen in my whole life, why would you do something like that?"
"Why do you even care? It's not like you here anyway" you simply said, grabbing your phone, trying to ignore him.
After he noticed your intentions, he quickly took your phone out of your hands, placing it on the coffee table behind him.
"Hey! Give me my phone back, you dump a-"
"Fucking stop it, y/n. Stop ignoring me. I care for you because I love you! You are my everything and I know I haven't been home lately, but at least I tried making time for you and inviting you to the studio", he said, "but you never came! Don't act like it's only my fault we haven't seen each other."
You looked at him with wide eyes, shaking your head. He was right, it was also your fault. And you hated the fact that he was right. "I-"
"Please y/n, please stop turning away from me and closing up. I-I know it's not easy to open up, but I'm here for you. I'll always be."
"Well, I... I couldn't, no, I can't feel happy when I look like this, Channie. I mean, look at you, look at your perfect body and your perfect personality and your perfect everything! I don't fit in. I don't fit in, because I am the ugly duck surrounded by beautiful swans. I just... wanted to be a beautiful swan, Channie."
That's it. You've made it. You've told him what was going through your mind all the time.
He slowly pulled you off the couch, into his lap. He could feel your seat humps against his thighs, how bony and strong they were. Chris shook his head in disbelieve, another wave of sadness crushing over him.
"You are perfect, baby girl. You are perfect in every single way. You always were the most beautiful swan I have ever seen in my entire life. I love everything about you, y/n. I love how your thighs wiggle whenever you run towards me when we meet, I love how curves look in that dress I brought you a year ago, I love how your stretch marks are decorating your body like silverish paint. I don't want you to change for me, because you are perfect the way you are. Jesus, even Hyunjin said you are even prettier than himself, and that means a lot. Please don't hurt yourself like this, princess. You are destroying yourself"
He took hold of your hands and kissed your palm.
"I promise I'll stop working so much, so I can spend more time with my beautiful girlfriend, but please... stop hurting yourself" he whispered, searching for any signs of discomfort in your eyes. But you just set in his lap and listened to him.
"Hyunjin thinks I'm prettier than him?" you asked awkwardly.
Chris chuckled and nodded "Is this the only thing that got stuck in your pretty little head?" He asked.
You smiled a bit, leaning your forehead against his while closing your eyes. "I'll try to get better, Chris" you whispered.
It wouldn't be an easy journey going back to 'normal. Once the hole is there, digging is difficult. But it is possible, especially if someones helping you.
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noutenki-scans · 5 years
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Jun, do you think you could walk us through how you buy your doujins? I've been wanting to buy some kros doujins FOREVER, and I know there are multiple tutorials/advice online but I want to get advice from someone who's actually gotten their doujins successfully shipped to them! Is there a website you recommend using, or a tutorial online that you follow? Would appreciate it greatly ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
How I order doujinshis online?I’m always happy to help a fellow karaoso enthusiast! I hope you have basic knowledge of Japanese so you can navigate easily. Otherwise chrome automatically translating the site works too I guess.
This post may end up pretty lengthy since I babble a lot. So continue ahead only if you want to.
Many sites don’t do international shipping so you will need to find yourself a proxy service or a freight forwarding site. Freight forwarding is the cheaper option of the two. Tenso is a fan favourite it seems but I use TensoJapan cause the fees are cheaper. You’ll need to provide your ID verification to use either of their services though. As for proxy services. I’ll mention some later below. It seems TensoJapan also provides this service now. ^^ 
The sites I use varies. If possible I like to support the artist and use the link they provide in their pixiv post for that particular work. (Usually toranoana) However if it’s quite old, chances are that it’s already sold out.
Toranoana A great site to buy new doujinshis. It’s far the easiest site to navigate and has the best range in terms of new books. Most of the products also have the synopsis and a few sample pages as well! The go to place to really support the artist! This post explains really well on how to shop there! Really use that auto translation on chrome to your advantage if you need to! If you are soley looking for KaraOso djs, here has all the instock books for that pair. And here is the full list, although most are out of stock lmao. (good reference when you want to buy second hand books though!)
If you plan to use a freight forwarding service, you need to create a Toranoana account yourself. When you write in the detail, make sure to input the Japanese address that you were given for shipping details. For when Toranoana charges you for your order, it’s quite funny cause they charge you then return the money straight away (I guess it’s to check if your card works) and when your order is ready to be sent, they’ll take the payment properly. They don’t accept PayPal as payment though. So if you don’t have a credit card, you’ll have to use a proxy service instead.
For proxy service, try using the one toranoana is advertising at the moment, AOCS. AOCS creates a toranoana account for you when you register with them and also you don’t need to provide them your ID for verification! At checkout you just need to select the acos option for delivery! from here, AOCS will pay for your goods on delivery and send you an invoice. They accept PayPal as payment. Once that’s all paid up, they will send you your goods. :)I’ve tried it and yes, it’s very simple to use and convenient but the shipping is a lil pricey since they only send by EMS. Fast shipping though!
Pros:
Easy navigation. They have tags for coupling names and filters to narrow down your search. 
Free domestic shipping if you spend over ¥9720.
Toranoana is fast with processing your order and getting it to your freight forwarder/proxy service.
Cons:
Once it’s out of stock, it’s gone. You can apply for a re-sell or set an notification alarm if it ever restocks.
A bit pricey because you pay for tax.
They may cancel your order if they notice you are using a proxy. I don’t know if they still do, it’s just what I’ve heard over the years. For sure tenso and tensojapan are in the green though!
Ok, so you really want a particular work by a certain circle, or just their works in general but it’s out of print…Usually this is the case for me when I see all those out of print djs on Toranoana…You can try your luck in 2nd hand stores! Or even Yahoo auctions. 
Yahoo auctions would be the last place I’d go for, cause ordering from there can kill your wallet. Especially if you buy from different sellers. You’ll have to pay for domestic shipping on each of the auctions. There are proxy services designed for Yahoo auctions, but the one I have tried is DeJapan. Their service is good and their processing and shipping is fast too! My order came 3-4 days after it was sent! They only send by EMS though. Quite pricey but reliable. if you are still interested in purchasing osmt djs from yahoo auctions, try ‘おそ松さん 同人’ in the search bar.
MandarakeSells second hand goods. I like this site a lot! They do international shipping with several options too. So you can skip the whole middle-man business and having the option to choose for the slower, but cheaper postage.The search bar isn’t as friendly but if you know what you are after, or the circle you are interested in, then it’s a lot easier to navigate. Just be aware mandarake has different stores so if you end up getting anything from this site, make sure to check which store it’s in! Try getting all your items from the same store, otherwise you’ll be paying a lot for shipping!! When I make orders I like to at least group 5 djs from each store if I can’t get it all from the same store. But I LOVE their quality!! Their second hand stuff look pretty much brand new! Unless stated otherwise in their listing. I’ve had some djs where it didn’t even look opened! 
Pros: 
Usually cheaper than buying new. 
Can find the older titles here. 
Tax free. 
Has English support and navigation. 
Relatively fast processing time. 
They send internationally! 
Cons: 
No consolidation. Each store=different order=more shipping cost. 
Second hand goods. So it’s not brand new. 
Price can be ridiculously expensive based on its rarity/popularity even though it’s not a new book. I actually bought 2 titles for 4k yen each when the original price is just over 1k. But I really wanted those books soo….I just bit the bullet lol.
SurugayaA real gem! ♡My favourite second hand store for djs~ Their navi is a lot better than mandarake and has way more items! This is the place to go for any rare goods~ here is the search page for karaxoso. 
Did I tell you they have free domestic shipping if you spend over ¥1500?? That’s like $15 lol. They do however have a processing fee if your order is under 5k yen. It’s under ¥300 so still very cheap! Surugaya often have ‘time sales’ and campaigns too! So it’s good to keep an eye out. When you click on an item, there’ll be a red text saying “this product will have a time sale soon” if that’s the case. So if you time it right…maybe you can get it cheaper. But I had many djs go out of stock on me while I waited for a campaign to come (some items sell out within a couple of days) so I don’t risk it anymore if there are items that have only 1 in stock in my cart. 
Also this is one of the stores where you can buy without a credit card and use PayPal instead! But if you are buying R18 goods, you can only pay by credit card. They don’t accept foreign credit cards apparently. I did have an order cancel on me when I paid by credit card and I got an email saying I used a foreign card and they can’t accept it. I’m still very gutted about that one. But I’ve also had successful orders using the same exact card…..so it’s really a gamble. PayPal as payment is friendlier I heard! But if you really want to buy r18 goods from here, may luck be on your side and hope they don’t detect your card. (or use a proxy service that allows you to buy R18 goods) 
The other downside for this site is the waiting time. Surugaya also has many warehouses and so they have to wait for all the books to arrive in one place before they ship it out to you. But usually with my experiences it takes them about 4 days to complete my order and ship it out. But I did have orders take over a week to process before. As long as you don’t order during the busy times of the year it should be fine.
Pros: 
Usually cheaper than buying new. (Most of the time the djs are cheaper than mandarake.) 
Best range. 
Often have sales and campaigns 
Has English support (But they will answer in Japanese) 
Free shipping on orders over 1.5k yen 
Cons: 
Slow processing time. 
Like mandarake, some items are ridiculously expensive. 
Your card may get declined for being a foreign card. 
Note: Previously, I’ve noted you can use debit card as payment…but honestly? it’s kinda weird. From personal experience, make sure you have double the amount of money in your account of what you need to pay for. Until the day it’s ship it. Surugaya likes to take money from you…how should I say…twice(?). Like….how do I explain this…on the day you place the order, money is taken from your card. Your payment will appear as pending on your bank statement. But actually they don’t approve your payment until it’s all ready to be sent to you. On that day, they take the payment from your account again. Like. It’s weird. And if you don’t have that amount available on your card on that day, you get an email from customer service saying they couldn’t go through with the payment. That there was a problem. If you paid by paypal (using your debit card), they will retry the payment if you can provide them evidence that it wasn’t PayPal that made the error. If you paid by using credit card (with your debit) they will cancel your order since the only other option to send the money is by bank. So if you have enough money in your debit card to pay for your order twice, your payment will go smoothly. And that extra payment they tried to make? It won’t even appear on your statement lol. In the end that money isn’t taken from you, so don’t worry about them actually charging you twice for your order.I was so confused why my payments weren’t going through and I only found out by contacting both my card dealer and PayPal. I use my debit card for online purchases so I only put in the amount necessary you see… 
Tldr; Surugaya tries to take money from you twice but only one goes through and you need enough funds for both in order for your transaction to go through smoothly if you are using your debit card.
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