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lolbtsaus · 6 years

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Things I love about Jimin

MOST PRECIOUS BOY IM SO IN LOVE

I also have a Jimin appreciation post (here) which this is pretty much like a part two to

Also if I miss out on something you love about him or a moment of his that you love, feel free to reply to this post with whatever you wanna add or reblog this and leave it as a comment on there, I’d love to read your guys’ personal favorite moments or qualities about chim

I’m also gonna be doing a part two as well so this is far from everything I love about him

I LOVE PARK JIMIN

I love his eyes:(( I love his nose:(( I love his cheeks:((

I LOVE HIS SMIL E :(((((((((

His smile with that lil dimple or the smile that just lights his entire face up and his eyes gets so bright and happy and I get so happy seeing it bc I love me a happy Jimin more than anything I will fight on this it’s the best concept

I love Jimin with abs and without bc here’s the thing

Jimin with abs?? a look !!! jimin without abs?? a look !!!

Soft tummy chim is a concept I can get behind very easily he does not need abs whatsoever to keep my attention but if he does it in a healthy manner and he’s happy bc of it, I’m here for that too

I just I love a happy healthy Jimin, whatever that means for his physical looks, I’m here for

I love everything about him tbh

I love his personality

I love his lil moments of sass

Their entire episode of Knowing Bros is just Jimin being snarky and it’s one of my favorite things ever to exist

Update I’ve found an entire compilation with Jimin’s petty moments here it is for all my petty Jimin lovers out there

But I also love how soft and sweet he is

Bby boy couldn’t hurt a fly:(

Always making sure the boys are okay, always supporting the boys in every way, cheers the loudest

Remember that one time Yoongi was in the basketball game and someone started cheering for someone else and Jimin deadass just starts screaming all of the player’s names at the top of his lungs bc he wasn’t about to be out-cheered

ShY SHY SHY

Speaking of twitter, most social bby

Always updating, always sharing selfies or videos

God bless Jimin’s laugh

Bless the fact that he damn near gives himself whiplash every time he finds something funny

Bless the fact that he’s fallen off of things bc he was laughing

BL ESS THE FACT THAT HES SO CLUMSY

I rest my case (also hi this channel is so cute)

Also I’ll never get over the fact that he’s a g r a ce fu l faller are you fucking kidding me

He falls and lands in the splits ??? h o w

Everyone’s baby though

Namjoon and hobi deadass coo at him 24/7 jungkook’s doing anything and everything to get him to laugh yoongi’s being soft with him like everyone fucking adores Jimin

I’ve yet to meet someone who didn’t love Jimin once they got to know him point me to them and let’s duel

He’s one of those people who doesn’t have to do much and you just love them

Like he can deadass sit on a stage and just smile and boom BTS gain another million followers

Side note he’s so fucking talented

His voice is so soft and I just want him to sing me lullabies

He puts so much emotion into his singing and he doesn’t hold back for shit

That lil riff he does at the end of Mic Drop oh my go d

When HE DOES A NOTE CHANGE AT ALL

And his dancing oh my god

You know how sometimes there are certain things in life that you just have to be born with naturally and it can’t really be taught as easily or at all

Jimin’s got that when it comes to dancing

Like it’s not just the skill itself, it’s that ability to lose yourself in the music and to have your body connect to that while making it look effortless

Jimin’s one of my personal favorite dancers ever I may be biased bc I love everything he do child could touch his tongue to the tip of his nose and I’d be screaming talent

When he eats and his cheeks do the thing

HIS SCREAM

In case you wanna scream as well, here’s this video have fun with that shit, stopped it like 30 seconds in and I refuse to resume

He gets so competitive sometimes and then when he loses he does that frustrated scream and it’s so cute???

He’s so SO F T

I just wanna repeat that he’s the softest more purest most sweetest boy in the whole wide world and I’m writing this through my tears

Precious bby:((

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phenyxsnest · 7 years

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Legend Debunkers

@awesomecat42 on Fan...demon: I'm not really that into bands or anything, but if you replaced BABBA with, say, the Mythbusters or something, this is exactly how I would react! Mythbusters... OMG SWEET GRUNKLE OF ALCOR YES YES YES!!! What if the TAU had it's own version of the Mythbusters and after the Transendence they also started busting myths about real supernatural things and magic and stuff cuz that stuff was real now and what if one time they summoned Alcor for a myth and you just know that adorable little nerd would totally geek out over the whole thing and everyone would just be like what even and this needs to be a thing and I really want to write this now but I can't write worth crap and please write this fic please please please I'LL GIVE YOU MY BLOOD!!!

Every so often, I manage to deliver. Goals for 2017: deliver on random fic requests.

On AO3 // On FF.net

Legend Debunkers had been on for years. It had a dedicated following and over three hundred episodes to its name, alongside a cemented, permanent spot in pop culture.

They'd moved on from urban legends a few seasons back, focusing on movie myths and viewer submissions for the most part, though occasionally returning to their roots. They were more than enough to keep the show going, even after the Transcendence hit and everything had changed, as people began to adjust.

But the viewer requests were changing, and there was a cry for help in most of them.

The world had changed, and suddenly many of the myths, the ones that were supposed to be superstitions or stories, were true. And people didn't know how to deal with that.

And while the hosts, Aaron and Jared, might not have known anything about magic, they did know science, and get enough of that and you could figure out just about anything.

Finding volunteers to help test some of them were going to be difficult. Neither host particularly wanted to do the myths that might end in someone getting hurt, even if said someone was supernatural. They and the build team might have taken stupid risks now and again in the heat of the moment, but keeping everyone involved safe was still important.

So no myths about 'does x hurt y' or 'will x part of y supernatural creature really do z', though they were considering testing ones like 'can vampires cross running water'.

It was a balancing act – which myths would help people, which would hurt people if it were common knowledge, and which ones would lead to Aaron and Jared being able to make things explode.

Plus, think of all the things they could blow up now that they had magic!

Of course, it took awhile to get all of it going. The production team had to find experts in the area of magic, and those weren't exactly thick on the ground just yet. Despite everything, some things really just couldn't be tested without an expert around, and magic wasn't understood enough yet to mess with.

With magic so new to the rest of the world, most of the people who knew anything about magic had been the weirdos in the old world, witches or freaks or crackpots, and some of them were still bitter enough about how they'd been treated to refuse to share their knowledge with others yet.

Of course, there were others, eager to spread the word, but there were also people out there spreading false information to further their own agendas, make people afraid of this new world and try to change it back.

Well, Legend Debunkers wasn't going to stand by that if they could help it. They'd helped people before, with their episodes on what to do if you were in a sinking car or myths about holiday trees, so they could do it now. No way they were just going to stand by while people spread around false information if they could help it.

And blow things up in the meantime, but just as a bonus. These explosions were sparkly, now that they had magic!

It took them four seasons before the demon myths began coming in.

That...was a problem.

Because while Jared and Aaron were willing to do some pretty dumb things for this show, summoning a demon was crossing the line by a bit.

But people were clamoring for answers, and their mailboxes were overflowing with requests.

Eventually, they were going to have to cave.

It took months of pursuing leads, examining information they had been given and found to be incorrect, before the production team found a possible lead.

Demons were treacherous, and no matter what precautions one took, it seemed that they always twisted everything to their advantage.

But, it seemed, they may have hit on a possible answer.

It was dangerous, and had a higher than comfortable possibility of going wrong, but it was also about the only thing that was going to give real answers.

They were going to summon up a demon, and they might have found just the one to fit their needs.

Of course, it wasn't going to be that easy – they were going to have to blur out a lot of things so no one watching would be able to copy the circle they were using, and both blurring out their mouths and covering their words with bleeping was going to be expensive.

But with editing and time constraints...they may just need that footage, blurred and edited as it was.

To increase their chances of a good summoning, the production team sent out inquiries to Gravity Falls, hoping someone there, in the town their chosen demon had claimed as his own, would be willing to help.

Alcor was somewhat unpredictable, but there were enough stories and documented instances of fair deals, being kind to children, and the like to make them choose him as their final informant.

Demon hunter Wendy Corduroy, only twenty five but already gaining a reputation, answered their call.

No one was quite sure a demon hunter was the best choice for summoning a demon, but Corduroy assured them over and over that she and Alcor were cool, and that he'd talk to her.

And since Jared and Aaron were still hesitantly enthusiastic but not sure about doing this, well...

Calling on an expert seemed like the best idea if they were going through with the episode.

Though the fact that she had them ordering so much candy to do this with made them wonder about Corduroy's expertise. Why did they need so much candy to summon a demon, anyway? Shouldn't they have to get, like, more pigs or something?

Either way, if they didn't get killed doing this, it was going to make for an amazing episode.

Corduroy showed up, just as promised, though the production team did have to pay for her flight both ways from Gravity Falls and send a rental car to pick her up from the airport.

She sauntered in, waving at the crews setting up as she went, and introduced herself to Jared and Aaron, standing hip-shot and listening as they went over basic safety protocol and how filming worked.

“Okay, so you dudes want to film your opener then?” she asked when they were done. “I'm just gonna get this circle drawn, oh, and make sure your crews don't get a good look at this circle, 'kay? Alcor's kiiiiinda picky about who uses this version. I've got a sort of truce with him so I can, but he'll be pretty upset if it gets broadcast.”

“Don't worry, we're not showing anything, it's all getting blurred out,” Aaron was quick to reassure her. “And here, we've got the bleep helmet for when you do the summon,” he added, holding out a helmet. He plopped it on his head and flipped down the front, and a plastic strip with curse word replacement symbols landed in front of his mouth. “See? And we'll be bleeping out the words. Only safe way to do it.”

“You guys are really taking this seriously,” Wendy laughed, accepting the helmet. “Dorky, but practical. Did you get all the candy I asked for?”

“Over here, Ms. Corduroy,” a production assistant said, gesturing. “Why don't we go over it with you and get everything set up while Jared and Aaron shoot some of the interim sequences, then we can film your introduction and get things started?”

“Okay, first things first,” Corduroy, who insisted they call her 'Wendy', said as the hosts and crew gathered around the circle she'd meticulously drawn on the floor. “I want you to make sure you cut out the summoning. You can show Alcor showing up, but not how I got him here. And make sure you plaster this thing with warnings, 'cuz Alcor knows me and we get on so he's gonna be fair with me, but he's still a demon, yanno? Gonna be different if you're not from the Falls and you try summoning him for a dare or something. He puts up with a lot from us. Seriously, he puts up with all kinds of stuff for Gravity Fallers.”

“So it's like bringing a bomb into your house and hoping it doesn't explode,” Aaron said helpfully.

“Exactly!” Wendy said brightly. “I'm assuming you read over the stuff I sent you, so we're good on that front. Okay, dudes, let's get this get this party started. Oh, and you might want to let me do the talking when he first gets here. I'll let you know when you can take over.” She dug out a small lancet, pausing when Jared spoke.

“Wait, don't we have to sacrifice something?” he said. “I'm all for not doing it if we don't have to but still. We need to do this right the first time if we can.”

“Eh, just a bit of blood'll work to get him here, since we're not asking a lot, just information,” Wendy said with a shrug. “If you have something around that'll work, I'd rather not poke myself again.”

“I'm sure Jared has something,” Aaron said, adding to the camera as Jared walked off, “probably his lunch. The Hymeran satisfies his primal hungers in a civilized fashion.”

Joking aside, Jared did find some blood somewhere, enough to use to summon Alcor. No one wanted to ask where.

It didn't take much blood, not with this circle.

With a firm nod, Wendy flipped the cover of the bleeping helmet over her mouth to obscure it from view and dripped the blood into the circle, calling the proper, formal incantation to call for Alcor.

“Stella splendida, te invoco. Te invoco ut facias voluntatem meam. Dico nomen tuum: Alcor!”

The circle sparked and smoked, and a ball of smoke rose from the center. Then, between one blink and the next, Alcor floated there, with less dramatics than anyone on the Legend Debunkers crew expected.

He looked on edge, claws bared and braced, but relaxed when he saw Wendy standing hip shot at the edge of the circle, smirking slightly.

Then he saw the Legend Debunkers and the crew.

Alcor's eyes went huge, and his fisted hands came up to cover his mouth before he began to vibrate.

Just as everyone was beginning to worry they'd somehow broken the demon, Alcor let out a high pitched squeal, happy fists shaking with excitement.

“Oh my gosh oh my gosh ohmigosh!” he squealed, shedding glitter, and Wendy coughed, a cough that sounded suspiciously like a laugh.

Alcor froze, a blush covering his face. He coughed into a fist, attempting to recover his dignity, still shedding glitter that was rapidly disappearing and slowly stopping.

“Wh̷y͡ have̸ ̧y͜ou ̡summ͠o̧ne̵d ͟me?͡” Alcor asked, a faint blush still coating his cheeks, and hoo boy that echo was going to play merry hell with the audio. “C̸òrduro͢y̡?”

“Don't look at me like that, dude, they wanted to talk to you,” Wendy said, pointing a thumb at Jared and Aaron. “I'm here as a go-between. Cameras are rolling, by the way. We've got candy over here to trade you for answers.”

Those eerie eyes went wide again, and turned from Wendy to the hosts, the echo dropping almost entirely from his voice. “Wait. You. Want answers. From me?”

Wendy gestured at them, obviously letting the hosts say their piece.

“Ah, yes,” Aaron said. “We have a few myths about demons to bust, and we needed experts. So we want a deal with you.”

Alcor was vibrating again, and Wendy rolled her eyes. “Chill, dude. We don't need you exploding into happy glitter again. There's way too many places to lose it here, they'd be finding bits of demon for years.”

Alcor stuck his tongue out at Wendy, but he did stop vibrating.

Aaron and Jared looked at each other doubtfully. They'd known Wendy Corduroy was from Gravity Falls and therefore somewhat used to having Alcor around, but this seemed far more familiar than they had expected.

“Look, dude, they got candy and it's time to make a deal,” Wendy was saying in the background as Alcor kept sneaking little glances at them. “I gave them the prep talk. Say, so much candy per hour?”

Alcor glanced around Wendy at the candy piled up in large, plain cardboard boxes, and they could all see him doing the mental calculations. “Those boxes all full?” he asked.

“I know you, dude,” Wendy said, crossing her arms and smirking. “All full, and each one's different.”

“An hour per box,” Alcor declared. “And I get to see the footage before it airs, and have final say over the episodes. You know, to make sure nothing dangerous airs. Oh, and I get to decide which questions I answer. And I want autographs from Aaron and Jared.”

“Two hours per box,” Wendy countered, “And final say over the episode, along with discretion over answers and what you have to deal with in terms of experiments, provided you play along to a point, for the autographs. Takes a lot of time and effort to edit these things, yanno. Plus an assurance you're not going to hurt anybody. I'll be sticking around, dude.”

Alcor eyed the boxes again, calculating. Each box was huge, roughly twenty five pounds each, and each box held a good five hundred bars.

It was a bit steep perhaps, but on the other hand, they would be pretty intense hours of testing and questioning, and it was possible they'd have to call Alcor back tomorrow to finish. At two hours a box, they should have enough candy for two days of experiment filming.

“Okay, deal,” Alcor said. He rubbed his hands together in glee. “Let's get started!”

The episode ended up as one of the most popular Legend Debunkers episodes in the show's history, despite the amounts of footage shot when Alcor, Aaron, and Jared began geeking out that later had to be cut and destroyed. (Although Wendy did claim a copy of it first, as part of her payment.)

It was completely worth trying to explain to the people in charge why they had such a massive bill for candy.

#transcendence au #phenyx writes #comments are love

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deadcactuswalking · 6 years

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 19th August 2018

This is probably just gonna be a bit of a slap-dash episode since I just finished my list of the best and worst hit songs of 1994 and I’m kinda drained, but we’ll still have to get this out so here it is. REVIEWING THE CHARTS for the week of 19th August, 2018.

Top 10

First of all, we have a new #1... but it’s not exactly new at all, since it has been #1 for a few weeks before, it’s just returned to the top spot after it usurped Drake. I’m not mad at all that this is our new #1 – I may not be fond of it, but it’s better than Drake. George Ezra’s “Shotgun” is up one spot to #1.

Speak of the devil; here’s Drake with “In My Feelings” featuring City Girls, down a space to number-two. I hope it stays there, or better yet, decreases even more, although it still has the stronghold over “Shotgun” in streaming.

Not moving from last week at number-three is “No Brainer” by DJ Khaled featuring Justin Bieber, Chance the Rapper and Quavo.

Surprisingly, “Eastside” by benny blanco, Khalid and Halsey has zoomed past competition as it’s increased eight spaces to number-four.

“Rise” by Jonas Blue featuring Jack & Jack has since gone down a single space since the success of “Eastside”, leading it down to number-five.

At number-six, we have a two-space increase for Loud Luxury and brando’s “Body”, which I’m glad is increasing as much as it is, even if it’s just for the fact that they’re both relatively unknown artists.

Oh, yeah, at number-seven, we have “Youngblood” by 5 Seconds of Summer down two spaces.

Unfortunately,”Jackie Chan” by Tiesto and Dzeko featuring Preme and Post Malone has jumped two spaces down to number-eight.

Meanwhile at number-nine, the identical hit has effected “Girls Like You” by Maroon 5 featuring Cardi B, which is ALSO down two spaces.

Thankfully, NOT down two spaces, is “Taste” by Tyga featuring Offset. Not sure how I feel about a pedophile featuring a homophobe having a song (that I personally like) in the top 10 of both the US and UK, but that’s a whole thinkpiece I won’t be writing.

Climbers

Unsurprisingly, there are a few big gains but otherwise nothing of note here. In terms of smaller six-space gains, we (sadly) have “Nevermind” by Dennis Lloyd up to #19 and “Ocean” by Martin Garrix and Khalid up to #25, but we also have an inexplicably massive gain for “079ME” by B Young, up 11 spots to #28. Please don’t let this become a top 20 hit, just for the sake of preventing humanity and society crumbling under your hands. Oh, yeah, and pathetic human being Nicki Minaj had her album Queen release, so naturally “Bed” featuring Ariana Grande (who will also have some gains due to HER album next week) increased up 15 spaces to #23.

Fallers

Naturally, we have two losses for Travis Scott after ASTROWORLD had three tracks debut on the chart last week. “SICKO MODE” featuring Drake and Swae Lee is down six spaces to #15, while “STARGAZING” is, tragically, down 12 to #27. However, there’s only one other loss, and it is just an absolute collapse for “I Like It” by Cardi B featuring Bad Bunny and J Balvin, down 17 spaces to #31. It’ll undoubtedly be out next week, unless people revenge-stream Cardi because of the nonsense Nicki’s been spouting for the past two weeks, I don’t know. That probably won’t happen but it’d be kind of funny to see Nicki not get the #1 album after how desperate she was, and then have her “rival” succeed, though pitting female rappers against each other is borderline sexist and does not help normalise females in a more-often-than-not male-dominated genre, which is something Nicki could actually learn from... Huh. Anyway, this isn’t a Nicki Minaj roast, she has a new entry so I think I’ll rant about her there.

Dropouts

Well, we have a few utterly demolished tracks that dropped out this week, like “Butterflies” by AJ Tracey and Not3s now out from #22, “Oh My” by Dappy featuring Ay Em struggling as it’s been kicked out from #27, and “CAROUSEL” by Travis Scott featuring Frank Ocean being pushed out from #29, but that’s it, and there’s no Returning Entries either, so welcome back to:

The Ed Sheeran Update!

“Perfect” is down only a single space to #61, and “Shape of You” is up a single space to #76, somehow. Can these just go away, please?

Now to the part all three of you were waiting for...

NEW ARRIVALS

#40 – “When I Kissed the Teacher” – Lily James, Jessica Keenan Wynn, Alexa Davies and Celia Imrie

You probably shouldn’t be doing that.

Anyways, this is an ABBA cover, straight out of the hit musical Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again, which I actually checked out because, my, my, how could I resist it? Well, it’s okay, not particularly my thing, but definitely watchable, however I am surprised that it took this long for a song to get into the top 40. Let me preface this by saying I strongly dislike the ABBA version, mostly because of the... interesting vocals and how everything feels so manufactured and pretty sickeningly sweet, which is incredibly unfitting for the subject matter. I don’t like the song at all, but I’d recommend “Scandalous Scholastics” by Gym Class Heroes for a better take on a student-teacher affair. It’s a pretty awful track but at least it’s a bit groovier and has some darker swagger, as well as an eerie yet catchy chorus, which is actually pretty creepy in some way, especially that it’s implied that 1.) they had sex, 2.) Travie McCoy, the singer, is still in school. He gets into some detail and the charismatic “so sexy!” ad-lib I know Travie for... yeah, well, this is the only time it should not be there, in fact, do NOT check out that song, what am I talking about? It’s horrible.

This cover, though, is somehow even worse. I don’t know who’s singing at what points because, honestly, who cares? Nevertheless, the instrumentation is cookie-cutter yet still over-processed so that it drowns out the singers, who try to belt and struggle, with some not-at-all subtle multi-tracking from seemingly better singers that isn’t helpful at all. I do like that they have more charisma for the most part, making the admittedly funny geometry line sound so much better, and I do appreciate the fact that there are female singers talking about a female teacher – now, that’s cool – although it doesn’t really make much sense in the context of the film, at all, because I’m pretty sure they all have male love interests. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m not sure if your teacher is the best to experiment with, Lily.

#37 – “Don’t Leave Me Alone” – David Guetta featuring Anne-Marie

David Guetta, okay, you’re cool, you’re fine, I like you. Anne-Marie, nope, go away, please. I liked her in “FRIENDS”, initially, but, man, she can definitely become pretty insufferable. Don’t get me wrong, she’s a good singer, but the attitude and forced faux-Jamaican inflections rub me the wrong way. You know what else rubs me the wrong way? How the beginning of the song sounds like stock Windows-activating sound effects. It sounds like it’s a buffering loading screen for God’s sake. Regardless, Anne-Marie sounds okay and I do like the subtle touch of the guitars and especially the piano chords under Anne-Marie and I believe Ed Sheeran harmonising in the pre-chorus, right before a pretty cool Vocaloid drop. I have really grown to love these things, as you can probably tell from my “Solo” review, and this was am especially great one, because the autotune is turned up to insane levels and the vocals sound like they’re stretched and manipulated over the hard-hitting but pleasant synth tones. The combination of the drop and some of the vocal chops with the pre-chorus melody is just fantastic. I can look past the flat production in the verses if that chorus is as incredible as it is. Damn, that surprised me. David Guetta, you win again, and I’m excited for your upcoming album.

#36 – “Barbie Dreams” – Nicki Minaj

Okay, let’s get this over with. This track caused a lot of buzz because it’s basically a tribute to a Notorious B.I.G. song full of light-hearted disses torwards people who she is friends with, and you know, I like a bit of pointless rap beef and some disses can be pretty fire even if they are completely uncalled for. I mean, I prefer hard-hitting, absolutely awful personal disses like when Pusha T slaughtered Drake and held his decapitated head over a building in “The Story of Adidon”, but I like a bit of light-hearted no-harassment-intended jabs so, let’s see what she’s got.

Well, first of all, I love the slick beat and her flow is pretty nice too. Too bad it’s all taken from “Just Playing (Dreams)” by Biggie. This is a remix then? Okay, well, you didn’t preface it as such, but that’s fine, using someone else’s beat isn’t bad as long as you spit some nice bars over it. So, what’s the “Queen of Rap” got for us? Well, she starts with some complements... yep, she just says she wants a man to settle down and have some kids, and either them or the man will look like Lil Wayne or Dave East, but they’re already fathers, so I’m assuming she wants a man who is as good of a dad as Wayne and Dave are to their kids. That’s a very nice thing to say.

Man, I ain’t got no type like Jxmmi and Swae Lee

Okay, but the song you’re referencing by Rae Sremmurd, “No Type”, makes it pretty clear that they’re joking when they say they don’t have a type, given by how they immediately contradict that statement?

I ain’t got no type / Bad b****es is the only thing that I like – Swae Lee, “No Type”

Oh, they’ve actually tried to argue that “bad b****es” are NOT a type? Okay, well, then, secondly: That’s not a diss, that’s just mentioning them in passing.

Then she gets into some admittedly funny (and probably true) disses to 50 Cent, making some nice wordplay with other members of G-Unit like Tony Yayo and Lloyd Banks. That’s all fine and dandy. Then she mentions Karreuche Tran... Tran... Tran...

Used to f*** with Young Thug, I ain’t addressin’ this s**t / C-caught him in my dressing room, stealing dresses and s**t

Okay, well, that’s insensitive and incredibly uncalled for. If the dude wants to reject typical gender norms, more power to him, but Thugger, you probably shouldn’t be stealing her dresses, man, and I’m pretty sure this is related to that, and is no way meant to be offensive or transphobic.

They switchin’ like sissies now – Nicki Minaj, “Majesty”

On the same album? Uh, I mean, well, okay, but maybe that’s also misinterpreted...

First they love you, then they switch / Yeah,they switch like f****ts

Yeah, okay, 1.) I’m not uncensoring that word, you know what it is, and 2.) Yikes, Nicki! I know that was back in 2009 but these recent lines prove you haven’t changed, in fact, all of these recent antics prove you haven’t changed, at all! You collaborate with a pedophile, then you try and play the feminist angle – after collaborating with an absolute scumbag who respects women as much as a tampon made out of bricks – to explain why your album didn’t get to #1, although it still sold pretty well, even though you don’t label yourself as a feminist as you’ve stated before. In fact, this whole track is just to stir up controversy and attention, isn’t it? You wanted that #1 album so desperately that you added a song that’s not even by you to your album, then you put out a lot of trash merch, some of which was promoting 6ix9ine, all of which came with a copy of your album, made JAY-Z give you a discount code on TIDAL that literally gave the album away for free, however, due to a faulty system, made all albums on TIDAL free to download, probably causing serious financial issues in the future for Jay, leading to him having to release the rest of Prince’s discography onto Spotify (not necessarily a bad thing), and reported fake news when you were projected to sell 190,000, only to be proved to sell less when the final numbers were released, all for a #1 album, which you only wanted out of spite for Cardi being more successful than you, because, I don’t know, she’s not an absolutely trash human being who doesn’t know how to promote a damn album? I guess you could say the TIDAL issue wasn’t her fault, but, yes, it was, as if it wasn’t for her own desperate need for a #1, the code wouldn’t exist at all. At least that’s only one line, right? She doesn’t cross the line otherwise.

Shout-out Desiigner ‘cause he made it out of special ed

You called a man struggling to hold onto his crippling career which is still under the hands of Pusha T’s mismanagement, being forced to constantly promote himself because his label definitely isn’t, who’s probably in debt right now, and just desperately trying to pick up the pieces to still live while doing what he wants to do – music, trapped under a label that doesn’t let him succeed, who released a better and more consistent EP this year than any project you’ve ever put out, retarded because of the energy he puts into his songs, which you, missy, are severely lacking in, despite the fact that your mentor and person you want your husband to be like, Lil Wayne, was in the same dire situation for nearly a decade, and you and Drake have been carrying him and helping him still strive in the industry while he’s being trampled on and confined by the tyrant of a label owner Birdman? Yeah, nope, not having it, you’ve lost all my respect, Nicki. I don’t usually focus on lyrics as much as I did here but when they’re this ignorant and disgusting, I think I’ll stream Cardi instead, you petty, little child.

Conclusion

“Don’t Leave Me Alone” easily gives David Guetta and Anne-Marie the title of Best of the Week, as Nicki Minaj takes Worst of the Week for “Barbie Dreams”. Hopefully I’ll have calmed down by next time. See ya!

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