#''don't be attracted to this gender because ur bi not pan and bi means two''

[simptasia]

me @ bi & pan people apologising for being "straight on main" (or however its phrased) for expressing attraction to another gender: ...love yourself

#there are lots of bi & pan ppl feeling Not Queer Enough due to this mentality #its sad that we've been made to feel guilty no matter which gender we're feeling and/or expressing attraction to #men or women or nonbinary #theres always at least some No You Can't Do That #whether from society at large or within the lgbtpa+ community itself #in general (and within reason) people shouldn't feel bad about who they're attracted to #whether from other ppl or from ur brainwashed insides theres these nasty ideas #''don't be attracted to this gender cuz its sick and wrong and immoral'' #''don't be attracted to this gender because it makes you not gay enough to be accepted and Basically An Oppressor'' #''don't be attracted to this gender because ur bi not pan and bi means two'' #and other various levels of dumb and irrational ideas #also i'm not picking on bi and pan people for our/their internalized biphobia & panphobia #im saying its a problem and and none of us should have to feel that way #and we're all valid and Bi or Pan Enough #believe me i know that feel #even tho i know better and im damn PROUD of being bi #i STILL get the bad bi feels from time to time #and thats due to biphobic views that go around society and culture #so it worms into the brain #even if it doesn't make sense #its a thing #and its sad and problem and thats exactly why posts/messages of positivity and validation are NOT stupid and useless thank you very much! #this is a bi & pan post but when it comes to feelings of self-loathing and invalidation #i'd say thats a mood that most of the community can relate to

[nothorses]

in light of the resurfacing of abhorrent bi-pan discourse on my dash can you please give us your take on it? i don't understand why people get so pissed about how others identify like ur not the one living their life just let them be ;//

My take is that a lot of the discourse is just pointless nonsense stirred up because people hate bi & pan folks, and not out of any real concern for those marginalized groups.

"Bi" is not an inherently transphobic label; some people define it in transphobic ways, but others define it in ways that are inclusive of trans & nonbinary folks. "Bi" can mean anything from "both" to "multiple" to "all", depending on the person using it.

"Pan" is not an inherently biphobic label; some people define it in biphobic ways, but others understand it to just mean "all" where bi might mean "some", or just as a way of saying that gender doesn't play into attraction at all- where bi folks might feel otherwise.

Some people define the two the exact same way, and that's perfectly valid as well. The words themselves have histories, communities, and individual cultures; if people choose to identify one way or the other based on their personal experiences with a label, rather than the label's common definitions, why do we need to stop them?

This panic over people using the wrong words to describe themselves and somehow "hurting the community" in the process is completely fabricated. Queer people using words in ways you personally do not understand does not cause queerphobia, and it never will. Making ourselves easier for cis & straight people to understand by fitting into neat little boxes and binaries does not solve queerphobia, and it shouldn't be our end goal.

What we need to fight for is the right to be whatever the hell we want. Policing people's orientations will never be "for our own good".

[queers4years]

Imagine using a label was first defined as people that “love all genders, male and female, but unlike bisexuals, pansexuals love trans androgynous and gender fluid people, people who don’t fit into the categories of male and female”. How transphobic can you be to deny 50+ years of bi activism and history but embrace a label created on livejournal in direct opposition to bisexual. Yuck.

Well comen in hot with a lot of assumptions bud. Bisexuality has never been transphobic, nor have I ever considered it such. Bisexuality can be whatever genders binary or not, and more than just two. My gravitation towards pansexuality is not bc I view it as being more 'woke' than being bi, but for its specifications. Bisexuality can mean several things (same/different, 2 genders, 2+ genders etc) depending on who's using it. However I explicitly love all genders, and because pansexuality only means all genders it's always accurate. I don't have to go into detail about what genders I like, and if there are some I'm not attracted to, it's automatically clear what my orientation is with no confusion on the exact definition.

Some people may feel similar to me but prefer bi, and that's valid. And I don't support bi and pan people trying to push each other to ID a certain way. I love and respect the bi community, and if you can't respect my orientation that's ur problem sweaty

#asks #answers #pansexuality #listen all words are made up anyway so lets take a breather here #gender can be so nebulus that trying to count it seems futile to me #it gets so complicated when its finite which is why infinite works better for me #my existance as a pansexual is not with the goal of ragging on or tearing down bi's #im not pan to be trendy #im not pan to be woke #im pan because thats what fits #and tbh our definitions of sexuality are so western anyway

[bigendering]

heyo! I recently realised I was nonbinary and started going by they/them pronouns with a couple people, and I'm still figuring the specifics of it but don't relate to any fem-aligned or masc-aligned identities. So I am kinda confused about how sexuality and gender interact. I'm just not sure what words to use I think. Do you have any advice? (I'm sorry if this is a really vague question aaah) ((also i love ur blog its rlyrly validating and nice for someone like me who is rly insecure in their id

I’m not entirely sure what you’re asking, so I’m going to throw out a bunch of words and hope they help.

Gender identities: I actually made this flowchart awhile back that could be helpful

Sexuality & gender: these two are generally unrelated, though some genderfluid people experience a change in sexuality when their gender changes. As for words, in the past year there are a bunch of words for nonbinary people’s orientations that have been coined:

Non-gender specific:

Diamoric: neither straight nor gay because you’re nonbinary (also applies to relationships that have at least one nonbinary person, but as an orientation only for nonbinary people). This covers any nonbinary person who is attracted to anyone at all so it’s not specific, but it’s a good way to disidentify with the gay/straight binary

Bi, poly, pan, ace, and aro don’t specify gender in the first place and are also well-known so I won’t go into them here

Fin/min/ninsexual/romantic: attracted to feminine/masculine/neutral in nature people, respectively

Attracted to other nonbinary people:

Ceteroromantic/sexual: attracted exclusively to nonbinary people

Enbian: nblnb, similar to sapphic and achillean, though because nonbinary is an umbrella term, it does not mean same gender loving (also applies to relationships exclusively containing nonbinary people)

Enboric: attracted to nonbinary people, exclusively or not

Attracted to men:

Maromantic/sexual: attracted exclusively to men (can also be used by binary people but I don’t see why they wouldn’t just use straight or gay)

Viramoric: attracted exclusively to men (only for nonbinary people)

Toric/Quadrisian: attracted to men, exclusively or not (only for nonbinary people)

Mascic: attracted to men, exclusively or not (only for nonstraight people)

Attracted to women:

Womaromantic/sexual: attracted exclusively to women (can also be used by binary people but I don’t see why they wouldn’t just use straight or gay)

Feminamoric: attracted exclusively to women (only for nonbinary people)

Trixic/Orbsian: attracted to women, exclusively or not (only for nonbinary people)

Femaric: attracted to women, exclusively or not (only for nonstraight people)

Hope this helps!

Kai

#ask #anon #vocabulary #orientation #nonbinary #Anonymous