#‘harrrry you will never believe what that prissy bitch malfoy is up to’

[oxydiane]

mcgonagall: mr potter, is that a snake?

harry: this is herbert, professor. he’s here for emotional support

mcgonagall: in what way?

harry: when he talks shit about professor snape and malfoy in a way only i can understand i feel positive emotions

#i am forever upset harry didn’t get a pet snake to like sneak around for him and talk shit about people #it would have been so funny like i can really see him gossip with it at the gryffindor table during breakfast #‘harrrry you will never believe what that prissy bitch malfoy is up to’ #‘so he IS up to something HAH thank you herbert i fucking knew it’ #‘harrrrry let’s tell umbridge to fuck hersssssself’ #hermione is 80% of his impulse control stopping him from doing exactly what his pet snake suggests #ron is like ‘what did herbert say? oh yes he’s absolutely right LETS DO IT’ #can someone make a rewrite where everything is the same but harry has a little sassy pet snake? the snake is just him but snake form #harry potter #headcanon #mcgonagall #minerva mcgonagall #harry james potter #incorrect harry potter #incorrect harry potter quotes #incorrect quotes #golden trio #golden trio era #hermione granger #ron weasley #severus snape #draco malfoy