#& that she's not trying to hold grudges nor ruin her relationships with it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

frattsparty · 3 years

Text

My Heart Needed You Part 16

An: I’m dumb and posted 17 before this so two in one night ✌️

Warning: language, we’re all sad and struggling.

Tag list: @bellisperennis0 @withmyteeth @lexondeck @redpoodlern @nessamc @chibsytelford @thegirlwhowritesfics

The drive was long and by the time you got in it was late afternoon, Venus had you go straight to her house. When you puked into the driveway you let out a small sigh of relief as noticing that Tigs bike isn’t here. Quickly you unbuckle and all but jog to the door, and before you could knock Venus swings it open and pulls you into her arms. Your whole body begins to shake. “Shh baby, it’s okay, you’re safe here.” She’s rubbing your back trying to calm you.

You stay in her embrace a little longer before pulling away, she immediately goes to wipe your tears away, “What happened Hailey Girl?” Using the sweet nickname that only Tig called you. “Oh my gosh, baby, your arms are bruised. Who did this?”

“He found out what happened, it was a huge blow up,” your tears start again.

“He was mad at the truth?” Venus looked shocked.

You shook your head, “No, we all got detained by this fed who I knew because of SAMCRO. I ruined a case he had that would have brought down the club, the IRA and the cartel, he’s held a grudge ever since apparently.” Taking a deep breath, “He had documents made up saying I got an abortion and then had pictures of me and Jose…” you couldn’t hold the sob in any longer.

She held you tightly moving so the two of you were sitting on the couch. Your body was exhausted, the lack of sleep, the drive, the crying, you couldn’t keep it together any longer.

“I’m just so tired of carrying this, of feeling shame and guilt.” You sobbed.

“I know baby, and you don’t have to feel like that,” she’s gently running her hand through your hair. “You did nothing wrong, you were hurt, don’t ever feel like you are the problem.”

Once you’ve calmed down you gave her a full rundown of what happened, keeping your eyes focused on your hands to get through it.

“Hailey, my sweet girl, look at me,” she places her hands on the side of your face pulling you up to look at her. “Baby, you haven’t done anything wrong, he’s beating himself up for not being there, for thinking the worst of you, and for how he treated you today. But you have not done anything wrong.”

You nod your head wanting to believe her. “The things he said,” sniffling you clear your throat. “That hurt more than any beating I could get, for him to say that about me.”

“I know, and I’m not going to tell you what to do, but I do think the two of you need to have a serious talk.” She grabs your hands, “You have gotten to let one burden off of your heart, don’t carry another.”

“That’s not all,” you whisper, scared to even say this next part out loud. Giving you a reassuring nod Venus takes your hand seeing that you are struggling. “I..I’m pregnant.”

“What? Hailey,” she moves, wrapping you in a big hug, “How do you feel about it?”

“Well I was honestly happy about it when I found out two days ago, I didn’t tell him yet because I wanted to tell him in person.” Letting out a shaky breath, “now I don’t know.” Sniffling, you wipe the stray tear with your sleeve, “I just don’t know what to do anymore.”

The two of you talk for hours, for most of it she sits back and listens, but she provides sound advice. Encouraging you to take a few days to get yourself in order and talk to Nestor, but she also said he needs to come to me. Begging for your forgiveness, because a lady shouldn’t beg a man to be in her life.

That night Venus decided to have the guys over for dinner, she could tell you needed to be surrounded by your people. The two of you were working in the kitchen and you couldn’t help to think about all the dinners you had helped Gemma with.

“I think we are done, Hailey, so we’re all ready for the boys.” She’s wiping her hands clean and takes the final plate to the table. Just as she sets it down the door opens and the loud voices of your favorite men enter the houses

You can’t help the huge smile on your face as they walk in and the pure shock on their faces when they see you.

“Hailey Girl!” Tig is the first to squeeze you tightly. Then Happy, always quiet but holding you too tight, not that you’ll complain to him.

Chibs comes up, and you can see the worry in his eyes. He’s always good at reading people, especially you, “Hey darlin’, you okay?” He’s giving you a tight squeeze, all you can do is nod knowing if you speak you might crumble in his arms.

“It’s not like you to show up unannounced and not come to Scoops, you sure you’re alright?”

Giving him a weak smile, “Yeah, I’m okay.”

“Alright everyone let's eat!” Venus announces saving you from this conversation.

Once dinner is done Tig and Happy go in the kitchen to clean up, Venus runs a tight ship here forcing the boys to help.

“Come for a walk with me, Hailey.” You look up and Chibs has his hand out to pull you off the couch.

The two of you walk along the neighborhood, it’s quiet and peaceful - and thankfully cooler than Santo Padre!

“So what happened? I can see the marks on your arms, your eyes are swollen and red, you've clearly been crying.” He scoots closer to you giving you a light nudge.

“I was engaged before I came here, he was deployed and when he was away I was assaulted by a family friend…” sniffling you wrap your arms around yourself. “I got pregnant, he beat me until I lost the baby, then threatened me that if I said anything he would kill my family. So I ran.”

Protectively Chibs wraps his arm around you and you continue. “I never told Nestor what happened, but when I came home we tried reconnecting. He found out what happened, but the story he was given was a lie. He was angry and he didn’t hold back obviously.”

“I told him the truth and he tried to apologize and I was so angry, hurt, sad that I left and ended up here.”

“Oh my girl, I’m so sorry,” he pulls you tightly to his side.

“I should have just told him the truth from the start but I was so scared, Chibs.”

“Don’t blame yourself, you were trying to protect everyone and yourself. I’m sure deep down he knows that, he’s just hurting and he probably hates himself right now.”

You nod, silence falls as the two of you continue your walk back to the house. Before going in he grabs your hand and pulls you to sit on the step. Pulling out a cigarette from his kutte.

“Hailey, you aren’t my child, but I love you like my own, and I hate seeing you hurting like this. Jackie wanted you to find happiness, that's why I supported you leaving.”

“I know, and honestly, I have been so happy.” Your voice broke as tears made their way down your cheeks. You pulled your legs up and wrapped your arms around your knees, chin resting on them.

“You still love him after last night?” He asks as you stare into the night sky.

“With everything I have, Chibs.” You turn so you can see him, “I’ve loved him my whole life, I’ve been planning my life with him since I was 15. I can’t imagine it with anyone else.”

“Has he ever been violent with you before like that?” His voice is full of concern.

“He never even raised his voice at me until after I left, he wanted to know why I left and I refused to tell him. He’s never laid a hand on me ever, nor would he under normal circumstances I know that for a fact.” And you did, you knew that Nestor would never hurt you.

“Can you forgive him for last night? Because Hailey, you may love him but if you hold on to this anger that you feel you’ll never give him a fair chance to be better.”

“I don’t know, Chibs, what he said was hurtful..” you trail off lost in your head, truly you can’t imagine a life without him but you aren’t sure if you can let those words go either.

“Have you thought about how hurtful it was in that moment for him to see that and think one thing, and then have an even bigger bomb dropped. One that I assume hurt deeply for him because he loves you and didn’t protect you?”

Letting out a large sigh you turn to look at him, “no.”

“Hailey, if I would be given those photos that would be my first reaction. And then to find out my love was assaulted and attacked, I would crumble. I would never feel worthy of you again.”

A single tear trails down your face, “I love him so much, and I’m hurting right now, but some of the hurt is thinking that I won’t have him in my life.”

“You need to give yourself some grace, get a good night's sleep tonight, let your body rest. But you do need to talk to him, but you make him earn you.” He squeezes your hand and let’s silence fall.

After a few minutes you speak up, “Do you think anyone will think less of me if they know the truth about Jose? Or if they know I will go back to Nes after what he did?”

“Who gives a fuck what anyone thinks.” Moving he gets in front of you and kneels so you’re eye level “No matter what your past is, you are smart, the smartest person I know, you’re loyal, determined, drop dead gorgeous.” Giggling, you give him a nudge. “That’s who you are, that’s Hailey Teller. The girl who will fight tooth and nail for her family, for those she loves. You aren’t what Jose did to you. As far as Nestor is concerned, from what you’ve told me I know you still love him, and if I had to guess he loves you. What you decide to do is for you and your future, I’ll support you either way. Fuck anyone who makes you feel bad.”

“I don’t want to see you in a relationship where you aren’t loved and cherished, Hailey. But you look like someone who just lost everything.” He pauses taking your hands.

“If you love him and you can forgive him for this, then you be with him. You be with someone who makes you happy, makes you feel safe, someone who makes you feel complete. Someone you can depend on to love and support you through all of life.”

“You’re pretty smart for a motorcycle enthusiast, Chibs.” His laugh fills the porch and causes you to giggle.

“I am more than that, love.” He pats your knee and moves to sit next to you again.

“You are so much more than that, I love you, Filip. Thank you for being the dad I’ve needed these past 6 years.”

“I love you too kid, more than you’ll ever know.” Wrapping his arm around you he pulls you to lean on his shoulder. “You can always depend on me, I’ll be in your corner. Always.”

***

That night as you lay awake in bed your phone went off, illuminating the dark room. It was a text from Miguel.

Miguel: I’m so sorry, Hailey. If I would have known I would have helped you...I’m sorry I let you down…Nestor was ready to come storming to Charming tonight but I made him stay. I’m only going to be able to keep him from you for so long though.

You: Thank you. I want to see and talk to him, but I just don’t know if I’m ready.

Miguel: I know I’m asking a lot of you but I need to have a meeting with the MC and Adalita, and I can’t do it without you.

Leaving him on read, you put your phone down, trying to decide if you want to go back. But being around Nestor will be so hard and seeing Devante again knowing everyone knows makes you nervous.

Me: Miguel, I don’t know if I can come back…but I’m willing to meet with Nestor. But he has to come here where I feel safe and then I’ll decide.

Miguel: Thank you!

Letting out a deep breath you roll over and try to sleep again, however, sleep avoided you, instead you laid there staring at the ceiling willing your body to rest. Tossing and turning most of the night only getting short stints of sleep, none of the peaceful.

As the sun comes up you are startled awake by loud voices. You silently shuffled to the door and opened it slightly and we’re shocked to hear Nestor and Venus going head-to-head.

***

Nestor’s POV

“She said she’s willing to talk to you so she can decide if she wants to come back.” Miguel looks up at you from his phone. “Don’t fuck this up, Nestor, she’s not taking you back right away but at least get her back home to us.”

“Did she say anything else?” The fear you’re feeling, the worry of never getting her back, it’s all consuming, but the regret you have for what you said, for not protecting her, that will be with you for the rest of your life. “I can’t lose her again, Mikey,” your voice broke. “I can’t live without her.”

“I know brother, I know, we’ll get her back here and then you’ve gotta be the you she knows you are the one who loves her more than life itself.” Giving your shoulder a supportive squeeze, he moves to leave the office. “Bring our girl home.”

***

The drive to Charming was long with just your thoughts running wild, what if she refuses to come back with you? You couldn’t survive the loss of her again, it would kill you.

Turning on to the street you tracked her to you spot her car in one of the driveways. Deciding to take a second to catch your breath and get your thoughts in order you park two houses down.

“Don't screw this up Nestor, you need her, don’t be stupid.” You mumbled to yourself.

As ready for this as you’ll ever be you get out of your car, adjusting your shirt and taking one more breath before walking towards the door. Unsure of what was going to greet you on the other side.

You quickly knock, and shove your hands in your pockets, the nerves were mourning.

“You must be the man that hurt my Hailey Girl.” The woman standing in front of you is clearly a force to be reckoned with, and your nerves are multiplying. Before you could react she pulled her hand back and stepped you clear across the face. “I’m sure you’re here to talk to her, beg at her feet for forgiveness, but before I let you see her we’re gonna have a chat ourselves.”

“Who the fuck are you?” You're trying to keep your cool, but who does she think she is.

“I’m asking questions here, but I’m Venus, Hailey and my husband are extremely close as she is with all of the SAMCRO men. She’s like my daughter here, I love her like one and I’ll defend her like one.” She crosses her arms over her chest.

“For a man who swears he loves her, you have a shitty way of showing it. That girl has been through more than you even know, she stayed away from her parents so she didn’t have to cross your path, kept silent about what happened so you wouldn’t get yourself killed. And how do you treat here? You scream at her, push her around, disrespect her, you did that!”

“I know, and I regret it all.” You intersect, but Venus isn’t done with you yet.

“And you should! She suffered at the hands of two men, and then was abandoned and hated by the man she loved. You should feel bad and I hope you're hurting right now because she is. And you deserve to hurt. You sure as hell don’t deserve that girl in there.”

“Look, I know what I’ve done, I'm not trying to deny anything. Let me talk to her.” Pushing back on the attack she’s aimed at you.

“Do you know what you’ve done? Do you understand the magnitude of all of this?” It’s like she is staring right through you and trying to break down your walls.

“Just let me talk to her!” Your anger is boiling.

“Didn’t want to talk to her when she was trying to tell you the truth did you? She was begging you to listen and all you did was berate her.” She scoffs, “And yet, she still loves you. Her heart is breaking at the thought of not having you in her life.” Pushing past you she closes the door and sits at the little table on her porch. “Sit down.”

“I know you love her, I can see it and I could feel it when she told us about you when we all got together for the birthday party.” Her face has softened towards you, but you knew she wasn’t done with you. “She deserves the world, and I think you know that and from what she told me the younger you was ready to give it.”

Smirking you nod your head, “She deserves the world and more, without her…I don’t know if I would have even made it through high school. She was one of the only people in my corner and I didn’t realize until she left how much she did for me.”

“If you could go back and talk to that version of you what would you tell him?” Her question is genuine.

“I would tell him to appreciate everything she did, appreciate who she was and to talk to her about my plans, don’t block her out. Value her like she deserved.”

She lets out a sigh, “Do you still love her? Like truly love her? Want to be with her, have a family with her, wake up next to her each morning?”

“I love her more than anything, I can’t imagine my life without her in it.” A tear slips out, but you don’t even try to stop it, not now. “I felt so incomplete without her, then getting her back, it was like I could breathe again. I’ve only ever envisioned my future with her, with our babies, I won’t be able to live without her.” Your tears keep coming, the brokenness is all consuming. “I’m just so sorry that I made her feel so unloved, I know I don’t deserve her but I love her with everything I have.”

Grabbing your hand, Venus speaks again, softer and more loving than before. “Then you need to say all of this to her baby, because she’s hurting, feels so unlovable, but she still loves you with her whole heart.”

“I’ll go see if she wants to come down,” making her way to the door she turns to you, “If you hurt her again, these SAMCRO men will kill you, especially Chibs. He loves her with every fiber of himself. So I suggest you only go through with this if you’re all in and willing to work to get her back.”

A few minutes passed and you were feeling like she may not come down to see you, but before you got lost in those thoughts the door opened. She looks so small, sad, broken, and the guilt bubbles up even more.

“Hey,” her voice was so quiet you could barely hear her, she’s avoiding eye contact. Her usual confidence is gone, in its place was a girl so unsure of herself. A sight you’ve never seen with her.

“Hey, Hails.” Standing, you signal for her to sit down with you, “I was hoping we could talk.”

“Honestly, Nestor I don’t really want to talk right now, I have…a lot of feelings and thoughts that I can’t…” you can see her thinking of the right words, “that I can’t express right now. I know Miguel needs me and I want to go home, but I’m afraid to go back.” She whispers that last part, causing you to furrow your eyebrows.

“Why are you afraid to be there? Nobody will hurt you there.” You reach for her fiddling hands trying to calm her nervous tick, but she quickly pulls her hands away from you. “Are you afraid of me?”

She shakes her head, “Not you, or Miguel.”

“Then who, Hails?” You are racking your brain trying to think of who she could be scared of, and then it hits you. “Devante?”

Her eyes met yours for the first time since she came out, and she simply nodded her head. Not saying a word.

“Did he hurt you too?”

“He got me to Mexico, told me that Jose needed me, had one of the guys get me, watched Jose do what he did…” a stray tear rolls down her face and she sucks in a ragged breath clearly trying to hold the emotion in. “He put me in a room that night and the next morning brought me to him again, let him…you know again and took the pictures. He threatened me that if I told anyone he would kill them, you, my parents, anyone.”

“What?” Your anger is boiling and you are doing everything you can to keep it in check.

“I was so afraid, Nestor, I told Niko and begged him not to say anything. I wanted to tell you but I knew if you knew or my dad, that you would end up dead and I couldn’t live with that.” Her hands were shaking and sobs wracked her body. Moving quickly you wrap her in a hug, she’s so tense and you don’t feel her relax like she usually would in your arms.

“I won’t let him near you, Hailey. I swear to you, I’ll protect you.” Pulling away so you can look at her, “I’m going to call Miguel, if you really don’t want to come back I understand and I’ll make him understand.”

She looks up at you, “Do you promise that I won’t be left alone with him? Or have to see him?”

“I will be with you, or Miguel, I won’t let him near you alone, I promise you.”

Nodding, “I’ll go back.” She whispers and you aren't sure if she is just saying that to please you and Miguel, or if she really feels safe going back.

Taking a hold of her chin you pull her face up to look at you. “Hails, only come back if you feel safe, don't do this to make us happy.”

“I am trusting you to not let him near me.” She sounds more confident, “If I feel uncomfortable I’ll go to my parents.”

“Do you promise to tell me if you’re uncomfortable or don’t feel safe so I can help you?” You look at her seriously, ensuring she knows you aren’t joking.

She simply nods.

“I’m going to call Miguel then, let him know what’s going on, and you can get your things together.” You told her as you began dialing Miguel’s number.

“Well I didn’t really get the chance to bring anything with me so I just have my purse and car, so when you’re ready I guess I am too.” Shrugging, she goes inside.

You can’t help feeling guilty for that too, knowing she had a bag packed and you ripped it from her. All you can think is how you have to do better for her.

You're lost in thought and don’t even realize Miguel has answered your call, “Nestor!”

“Mikey, we’ve got a problem.” You let out a large sigh, “Devante knew everything that happened, he is the one who made her come to Mexico, who took the photos, he threatened her.”

The line was silent, you know that means Miguel is planning, “Does she want to come back?”

“I don’t think I would say she wants to, but she’s going to. I promised she wouldn’t be around him alone, and we would be there.” Trying to reign in your emotions, “She’s so broken, Miguel.”

“Bring her home, we’ll take care of her, and him. If she’s not comfortable here, take her to your house. You’re in charge of her protection.”

“Got it, we’ll get on the road once she’s ready.”

Waiting on the porch you turn quickly when the door opens, but instead of Hailey it’s Venus, “she’ll be out in a second, don’t worry. I just wanted a few minutes with you.”

“When you take her back there you better take care of her, don’t you let anything happen to our girl. Because these men love her like their own. If she’s hurt again, it will kill all of us. You have to protect her, and if you’re going to love her give her the love she actually deserves.” She ends her speech wiping a tear from her cheek.

“I will, I promise.”

#nestor oceteva #mayans mc #nestor oceteva x hailey teller #nestor oceteva x oc #nestor oceteva imagine #mayans mc imagines #mayans mc fic #Mayans mc imagine #mayans fic #mayans fanfic #Mayans mc fx #venus van dam #tig trager #chibs telford

74 notes · View notes

manuellarts · 3 years

Text

⠀⠀ HEADCANONS !

I've added some of them based on the way I was developing him through writing 🤔

Hope you'll like them !

⎯ his given name was Wilbur Jr, which he later changed to William. he was pretty much known as "Willy" since forever.

⎯ his birthday is on the 7th of April.

He is 5'5 and 25 years old.

⎯ his father wasn't just a control freak; he was emotionally abusive and very manipulative, which later contributed to willy's paranoia and lack of empathy.

⎯ after running away from his father and realizing that he's not welcome in his own home anymore, he later becomes a foster child. but he also ends up running away.

⎯ he was bullied at school for not being "manly enough", among other things. at that point in his life, he was a very angry and resentful person, mostly due to having compared his childhood and family to others.

⎯ possible tw. / /

when he wouldn't get into fights with other kids, he would take his anger out on himself by hurting himself. there were several points in his life when he considered or tried taking his own life, but he never did. his resentment kept him going.

/ / end.

⎯ by the time he started working as a chocolatier, Willy used to wake up everyday hoping that his father was burning with anger at seeing him successful. later on, he would stop thinking about him at all.

⎯ Willy lacks empathy and it is hard, if not impossible to tell when he is lying and when he isn't. his emotions are mostly directed towards his own self, and can be extremely exaggerated. his ego is immense, but beneath everything are very deep insecurities

and scars that will never heal, and that will always affect his thoughts and actions in some way or another.

⎯ though it doesn't happen often and may seem unlikely, Willy has anger issues and his negative emotions can escalate extremely quickly, spiraling out of control easily enough, while he usually has great control over his act.

⎯ having control of himself, his thoughts and actions is something of the utmost importance to him, so alcohol is something that he avoids like the plague. he has a very low tolerance to it, and cannot risk ruining what he has been building for so long.

⎯ he is extremely petty, and can hold grudges for a very long time. sometimes, he does things to spite people, and some other times, just because others disapprove of it. he just does whatever he wants, in the end.

⎯ Willy is a serial killer. but he doesn't like to get his hands dirty, so, most of the time, the victims are "left to their fates". he doesn't feel any remorse over them, as he believes that they deserve their fate and that he is doing the world a favor.

⎯ he does show some traits of narcissistic personality disorder, and also antisocial personality disorder.

⎯ it also doesn't happen often, and it might take very specific situations and triggers for such a thing to occur, but he can have violent breakdowns during which he gets very low and more impulsive than usual.

⎯ he has always really enjoyed music. he has taught himself to play the piano out of spite, since his father was against it, only to find out a new passion, which would also be one of his biggest sources of comfort, especially when he is feeling low.

⎯ despite being born in London, he doesn't speak british english, nor does he sound british. his mother was French, and for spending the major part of his childhood with her, before she was forced to leave, the accent stuck with him. he forces it down whenever he speaks,

and it only comes out when he is in a disadvantageous situation, especially when he is scared, since he reverts back to his younger self during such times. though he is always very careful not to slip up.

⎯ when he was working on building the biggest factory in the world . . he had several partners, relationships which didn't last too long and didn't start because of a need of companionship, but merely for personal gain.

he never needed to try too hard, and he considered all of them to be foolish girls, easy to please and naive enough to help him, no matter what it took. as soon as he got what he wanted, he would suddenly disappear on them and ghost them, never to address them again.

⎯ the only past relationship he has ever taken seriously, and was truly and wholeheartedly invested in was the one with Michael Henderson.

68 notes · View notes

mc-critical · 3 years

Note

What do you think about the relationship between SS and his father? In all the times it is mentioned, it seems that he still fears him and holds a grudge for trying to kill him, but what happens after Mustafa's execution, it is not clear to me if in his mind he made peace with him

The relationship between Süleiman and Yavuz Selim was clearly very turbulent from the start. When Selim was mentioned and appeared on the horizon, he indeed was always portrayed as this ruthless and even equally paranoid guy who would do anything to keep his power. And this paranoia of his kept on even when SS was the only heir left. We don't know much of his canon characterization outside of what people that knew him have said about him and a few flashbacks, but I do headcanon that he went on campaigns a whole lot and that he cared about the state, his own state much more than any other personal attachments he could've had. That's why he may not have gotten that close to his only son, too (SS spending most of his time in a sanjack could've also contributed to this) and since similarly to SS, his paranoia and self-righteousness hardened him to the point where there was no turning back anymore and that more or less became who you are, you look at yourself as a figure of a ruthless padişah, not so much as a human being, Selim would be capable of the most drastic measures against whoever he felt betray him in some way. It's no wonder Hafsa kept SS as far away from his suspicion as possible, because Selim is characterized by everyone by being ruthless and cruel and that means he can be pretty unpredictable, as well, judging by the situation with the kaftan. He is a guy that his family - his wife (in the show apparently), his daughters and his only son! - is afraid of.

Given the circumstances, it's pretty explainable to me why SS is afraid of him, as well, and is probably the one who is the most afraid of him deep down, but wouldn't admit it so openly, of course, only in self reflection. SS has apparently grown distant to his own father and perhaps they haven't even met so much. The flashback in E55 gave us a glimpse of how their relationship could've been - a pretty familiar sword fight and words about innocence that establish that Selim has also seen the danger in SS from pretty early on. It's as if SS has always been a suspect from day one. However, outside of that flashback, SS defines Selim by two major deeds - the whole ordeal with Selim's own father and the poisoned kaftan. Since again, SS spent most of his time in a sanjack and he didn't have the chance (Hafsa could've talked him out of it) or simply didn't want to let out his anger on his father for this event, deep resentment would overtake SS more and more throughout the years, because it's a vivid, impactful image and a strong, negative emotion one wouldn't forget so easily when your own father is the one who wants your death. This precise event is the one most telling of Selim's cruelty and ruthlessness in the show and that's what SS associates him with - cruelty and ruthlessness. But there the fear comes in, most of all, because of the similar position: one day SS would have to go in his footsteps, one day he would have to take on his role. SS is also a padişah and what if he also becomes like Selim? What if he also sends a poisoned kaftan to his son? (he asked Allah not to let him do that in one episode) What if he becomes as cruel, what if his reign also turns into a bloodshed? This fear of his is so strong and deep-seated that the further SS goes on with his growing Ego and paranoia, the more this fear ends up overtaking him and makes what he has still strived to avoid become part of him he lives by and a mold he would always follow, for he is the padişah and he, just like his father, wouldn't stand betrayal or what he perceives as betrayal, because he has become so used to living with this fear that amplified his Ego and paranoia even more that he writes off his deeds as absolutely necessary when he only screwed up big time.

This fear has turned into SS's ultimate justification, for Yavuz Selim was presented as his Azraeel two episodes before he did one of the wrongest deeds in his life. Here's the place for me to say that SS would have only benefited more as a character and gained much more sympathy from me, if precisely his backstory with his father was more explored beyond what we got. What we got was too scarse to justify his (let's face it) mostly out-of-context event-based paranoia to the point it became like this is used as SS's own justification without him truly realizing it, not a justification the audience got, because the show didn't want to justify neither Ibrahim's (maybe aside from E82 itself), nor Mustafa's execution. We could see the factors, yes, but justify the executions? No, especially when they both were presented as wrong when it came to the state itself through the tragic themes. And that's the thing: SS eventually put his Ego of a padişah and warped beliefs of what has to be done over his own early established principles and the state itself. That's also why SS's motivation rings hollow due to this minimal information and I think that SS not only became like his father, he even exceeded him. The stability of the state still played a part in the only other established event of Yavuz Selim SS eventually leaned on in E97 and shown with an actual flashback in E122 and his intentions didn't seem to have changed, since he was praised for his ruling and conquests. No matter how ruthless he was, we're led to believe he still was a decent ruler. That changes with SS. He begins putting Selim's way of thinking and courses of action in his own ways of thinking and ends up twisting them even further, if only for the deeper exploration and character arc we got with him.

Süleiman gives in to Selim's ways of thinking pretty early actually: he's used to being suspected and he quickly becomes accustomed to his own role to the point his decisions could hurt his family and could be pretty similar to his own father's. The paranoia of betrayal and dethroning appeared much faster than even he could imagine, since once he saw Mustafa grow up more and more, yes, he had very mixed feelings when he saw him again in E46 and he showed pride in him then still, but he also saw the danger more and more and recited the exact same words his father had once said to him himself. It's no wonder that E55's flashback and the aforementioned scene were parallels to each other: it's like Selim had said these words to SS in a fairly early stage of their relationship and here the cycle repeats with Mustafa and the signs of SS becoming like Selim, something he would never principally want to, are already there, not to mention Hafsa's warnings even before that. (because I wouldn't be surprised if she knew Selim better than SS did - she has spent quite some time with him as his wife and she was the one who immediately sensed danger in the kaftan situation, yes, a mother's survival instinct plays here, too, but Hafsa isn't a person who would be suspicious without any reason whatsoever, even at her worst) By then and by E123, SS had already shown the ruthlessness Selim demonstrated and the more we went, the more SS fell into despair for all his actions, the worse he ended up being, ceasing to realize the effects of what he has done. (like his intervention or lack thereof in the culmination of Selim and Bayezid's conflict) For SS it's way beyond a matter of self-righteousness, but a matter of conscience he had stopped listening to, a conscience he previously said that would define his reign. That fear of his father made him go in lengths he wouldn't imagine him going and for all the perceived attempts to avoid it throughout the show (like him not sending a poisoned kaftan to Mustafa and telling him that he wouldn't ever dare such execution), he ended up caving to them more and more and taking his own spin on Selim's mindset. SS took his role as a padişah much more dearly and that allowed him to delve deeper into his paranoia, into what he has to do for the sake of solely continuing to rule. Perhaps that survival instinct present during Selim's reign never left and evolved into something else. (we don't know the full extent of Selim's cruelty, which is honestly merely covered in hints, but we do know the full extent of SS's, which gives us even more of a possibility for SS to have "evolved" past it.)

Did Süleiman make peace with his father? It never became clear in the show, but I doubt that happened, at least not before he died. It's the fear of becoming Selim Yavuz that ruined SS's whole life in one way or another and his conscience always spoke to him left and right, no matter how willing he was to listen or not. I see SS becoming even more resentful of his father's ways when he committed his worst crimes. And even in his last days, he was more adamant to prove to people that he himself was still a capable ruler by going to a campaign, risking his own life and health for the sake of proving a point than thinking about how far has he come when it came to what he did as a padişah and how did that tie into the ways of his father. He certainly became more accepting of his mold over the years, but not in the way that would make peace with him, but rather as something that has to be done for the sake of your role. Until he died, SS probably still heavily disliked his father as a person and the best he could do at that point is not think about him. He would never justify or make peace with Selim Yavuz's deeds, not even in front of himself, despite of him doing the exact same. Süleiman makes a distinction between his thinking and that of his father, despite of even his own self telling him otherwise deep down. He wants to make that distinction, so why would there be a reason for SS to make peace with him back then? There would be no reason in his eyes.

Now, when he died, it's up for interpretation. Maybe he could've made peace with his father or at least convinced himself of that in his afterlife, since in his last monologue he did say that he takes only love and friendship with him and that would mean no negative feeling left, right? But the monologue itself is very up for interpretation, too, because.. what does that mean? How did this sudden turnaround happen? Did SS realize what he had done was wrong? Was he ready to accept that? Was he truly ready to get out of his role he has been used to since forever and live another life that consisted of only love and friendship? Then what about the imagery of this scene that showed him going to another throne instead after all? Yes, maybe the love and friendship were the true throne he went to with the Sultanate coming to an end, but couldn't that be more him only fully coming to terms that he'll come back to where he came from, where every person on the earth came from (that is, the ground)? Because he could start over anyway, but still not forget what happened in his life, paralleled with his first monologue ever in the first episode, where he said that he doesn't forget? There is so much to speculate here.

#magnificent century #muhteşem yüzyıl #muhtesem yuzyil #sultan suleiman #selim yavuz #ask #Isbluesr #i delved deeper into SS's arc overall along with his relationship with his father #but oh well

7 notes · View notes

todomitoukei · 3 years

Text

The Todoroki Family & The Umbrella Academy

disclaimer: contains spoilers for bnha chapter 291 & The Umbrella Academy season 1&2

For a while I thought there were mainly parallels between Shouto and Vanya from the Umbrella Academy, two characters who were isolated from their siblings growing up, but now with chapter 290 and 291 giving us a bit more information on Touya and a lot of people claiming he is in the wrong, I feel like it’s helpful to look at the parallels between Dabi and Vanya and how that can show us the possibilities concerning the Todoroki family’s future:

both have the strongest power in their family

end up being ignored by their father and told they’re not as powerful as their sibling(s)

end up isolating themselves from the whole family

expose their family’s secrets to the public

The last part is where the current bnha story ends, so we don’t know whether the aftermath is going to be similar, but let’s look at what happened then in the Umbrella Academy.

the siblings hold a grudge against her for it, not necessarily because of the exposure itself but because they’re all portrayed in a negative way

when they find out that she has powers, some of the siblings view her as a threat, but Allison actually stands up for her and tries to help her

them isolating her throughout the season leads to her causing the apocalypse, further painting her as a threat

while some of the siblings in season 2 still think they should stay away from her, they do end up treating her like a person and being on her side

Obviously not every family has to deal with things the same. But what I like about tUA is that it shows how differently people can react to the same person/events, and that they can change their opinions later down the line.

It’s understandable that some people disagree with Dabi’s decision to expose their family because of the negative effects this can have on the rest of the family that isn’t Endeavor, especially Shouto, whose whole career is essentially going to be about being a public figure.

But you also can’t decide how they’re going to react for them, nor can you say with certainty that they are going to be angry with him because of this.

In contrast to Vanya, Dabi didn’t speak ill of anyone in the family aside from Endeavor. Unlike some people in the fandom, he is not saying “Well, we were a happy family until Shouto came along and ruined everything.” He is not holding a personal grudge against Shouto, because he never really got to know him in the first place.

To Dabi, Shouto is simply the living proof of him having failed as successor. Shouto’s birth was the turning point in his relationship with Endeavor, and for the longest time it was his goal to kill Shouto in the future, but only because Shouto represents what Touya wasn’t able to be.

And yes, Dabi is a villain, someone who has attacked and hurt people and put people’s lives at risk for his own personal goal of getting back at Endeavor. He’s not denying that, though. Also, let’s not forget if you want to bring up Kyushu to prove he put innocent people at risk - Hawks knew about it and didn’t stop it. He risked people’s lives just as much.

People love to be woke about mental health, and whenever there’s stories circulating online about real life abuse victims who speak up about their abuse or even get back at their abuser (in whatever way) - they are celebrated. And rightfully so because coming forward with something so deeply personal and traumatizing, exposing yourself to the public in a way that might stick with you forever is hard and not everyone can do that. But why do people suddenly draw the line at a fictional character who is the personification of how harmful the glorification and idolization of heroes in the bnha universe is. How heroes, who are supposed to protect citizens, are also capable of turning citizens into villains and get away with it.

Dabi isn’t someone who decided to run away from home as a teenager and just stick it to the man. He is someone who has been bred for a specific purpose and once his creator gave up on him, got tossed aside. For years he tried to reclaim his spot, to regain his father’s approval, attention and love, things he used to get, but suddenly were all taken away from him because he wasn’t good enough in his father’s eyes. And for a child, someone whose brain is still in development, it’s crucial to receive care and attention from its parents. Being denied that has negative, long-lasting impacts on the further development, more so than on an adult with a fully developed brain.

He is severly traumatized and was driven to insanity. Did he hurt Shouto by kidnapping his friend during his summer camp? Yes. Did he risk his family’s life by sending Ending to his family home? Yes. But his mind is only filled with the obsession of ruining Endeavor. He is not thinking clearly. Mental illness gets romanticized to the point where any depiction of the darker sides of it gets judged, as if he decided to become Dabi out of sheer boredome instead of it being the result of an abused and traumatized child.

I understand if you care about Shouto and don’t want him to suffer more than he already has. But why are you so okay with an entire family continuing to suffer in silence? Why is it so okay for the family to consider improving their relationship with their abuser while Dabi continues to suffer in silence? Why is he not a worthy victim? Much like Toga has already pointed out in regards to Twice’s death, why are they not viewed as people worth saving in the eyes of heroes who claim that’s what they are all about?

And to those focusing on the effects this might have on Shouto and his career - you do realize he has been vocal about this himself, right? Sure, he hasn’t spoken out about this in as much detail as Touya, partially because he probably didn’t know much about what the family was like before he was born, but he never pretended to have a good relationship with his father. Shouto outright says he hates his father, even in front of other pro heroes, like during the remedial course. So if anything, ask yourself why this child can express his hatred for his own father and the reasons why, and yet no one really reacts to it? Just because Shouto didn’t broadcast it to the whole world, doesn’t mean he never came forward with the truth. The difference between him and Dabi is that he just states these things as facts without any further purpose, whereas Dabi tries to make people see how negative the existence of heroes can be.

Of course it’s likely that they would never have come forward with this to that same extent themselves and would have been okay with that, too. Again, even though Shouto openly states his situation, he doesn’t seek any specific reaction from people. But do you really think the people who have suffered with Touya are not going to show any kind of understanding for him? That they won’t recognize that they could have been him? That Touya needed help he never received and thus ended up like this? Do you really think the people who are already unsure whether or not to forgive Endeavor are not going to recognize that he drove his own child to insanity? That their situation is even worse than they thought?

People are so easy to claim it’s sad how Shouto is starting to care about Endeavor now and that Dabi is ruining that relationship. Shouto isn’t starting to consider warming up to Endeavor because he thinks Endeavor did nothing wrong. Instead, much like Touya, Shouto is a child who is seeking a relationship with his parent, despite the circumstances. But is that what Shouto really needs? To move on with Endeavor in order to have a picture-perfect family, even when that’s never going to be the case? You can side with the abuser, but Dabi is the tragic result of something that could have been prevented. Their family was never normal. It was always a project of Endeavor, so stop pretending like Dabi is the cause of the family’s problems or somehow responsible for the exposure. He is allowed to come forward, even if it also affects the rest of his family. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t care, or never cared. But his mind is clouded with the thirst for revenge to the point where he puts that in front of the well-being of his family. He can’t control that. People can’t just stop being mentally ill and that’s not going to change just because their mental state negatively affects those around them.

Unlike some other family members, he couldn’t even try to move on. His mind got lost in the darkness and this is his last cry for help. You might prefer for him to just stay dead and not make things worse for the family, but at the end of the day, Endeavor is the one who started all of this. And maybe, hopefully, the rest of the family can recognize that even though Touya didn’t actually die back then, Natsuo blaming Endeavor for Touya’s death is still correct because he did kill Touya, an innocent child, and turned it into someone whose only goal in life is to kill Endeavor.

Maybe they won’t be happy with the crimes Dabi has committed and the fact he exposed their family to the whole country. But I think they are going to recognize the tragedy behind this whole situation and possibly even learn that they, too, are allowed to speak up about this. Because the truth is freeing, even when it’s hard at first.

#so many bad takes #dabi #todoroki #291 #290 #bnha #shouto #boku no hero academia #mha #my hero academia #bnha spoilers #touya #meta #mine #natsuo

79 notes · View notes

rosierocks30 · 3 years

Text

Hidden: CH.17

Chapter 17: Paranoia

(Eren)

It’s been a few days, since Eren found Eve or Natasha. He had noticed how his girlfriend had been acting strange. She was distant towards him. Eren wanted to know if he had done something wrong to make her feel like that. He thought about it. Deep down he didn’t do anything to pissed her off recently. Maybe she’s just naturally moody. He’ll let her be for now.

The titan shifter was walking along with the group to the location where Commander Hange and her last remaining soldiers were. The forest was dense. Everyone stopped to see two Scouts soldiers and two men who dressed like Connor. Probably they’re assassins. Connor had mentioned it at one point.

“Halt. Enemies or Allies?” One of the soldiers said with their rifle pointed at them.

Both Commanders Rico and Nile reassure them. “At ease, men. I’m commander Rico Brzenska of the Garrison Regiment. Your commander, Hange had sent one of her men to find us to work together.” Rico said.

The other soldier lowered his rifle. “I’m sorry Commanders, we have been on edge for days or weeks. We couldn’t recognize either of you. Please follow us. We’ll lead you to our cabin.” The group followed the soldiers while the assassin hid in the shadows to patrol for any danger.

Eren used his hood to hide his face just in case. This will be the first time he’ll see some of his old friends and Commander. He knows what’s waiting for him. He deserved it for being misguided. He noticed Eve also hid her face. She had her reasons for being Levi’s granddaughter from the future. Soon, she’ll meet her young version of her granddaughter.

As the group got closer, Eren felt nervous. He will get a legendary beating from his friends and mostly from his former captain, Levi Ackerman. Sadly, he won’t get to see Armin nor Mikasa since they are in Marley for a mission. One day, he will be reunited with his best friends.

Finally, they reached the cabin. There are people busy outside. Only a few people entered the cabin in which he was one of them. Natasha was outside sitting alone on a bench. Before he turned away, he noticed that Ricky was walking towards his girl and sat next to her. This asshole, why all of sudden he decided to talk to her again? Didn’t he distance himself from her? It doesn’t matter right now. Eren may be irritated about seeing Rick being close to his girlfriend, but he has other important matters at this moment. He trusts his girl. That's all it matters.

Once he’s inside the cabin, Commander Hange was standing in the middle. On her left, a man he never met; but Connor gave a description of William Miles, Mentor of the Assassins. On her right, Jean, his former rivalry and comrades glared straight at Eren. Fuck, here goes nothing.

“Oh look, the traitor is here. What the hell are you doing here, bastard?” Jean was pissed off when he saw Eren in her view.

Commander Hange raised her hand to gesture Jean to stop talking before things got ugly. “He’s here because Armin had vouch for him as an ally now.”

Jean shut his mouth. He doesn’t see why they should trust Eren. Wasn’t he the one of the reasons this nation became shit? Sure, the Templars made the first move to attack Paradis and Marley, but Eren and his precious Jaegerists had secretly worked against them before this sudden war.

Niles spoke as a reminder why they are here. “In these difficult times, we will need allies to defeat these invaders. We will need Eren the most especially Zeke and the Jaegerists still believe Eren is on their side. This is an opportunity to defeat them and that imposter, Lord Nathaniel. Our true ruler is Queen Historia Reiss.”

“That’s wonderful news. This will make it a bit easy to make a surprise attack.” Hange said.

William nodded in agreement. “We only have one of my assassins acting as a spy. So far, he mentioned, the Queen is safe but apparently, my grandson got caught.” He frowned at the thought of his grandson, Levi being kept on the animus machine. The same machine he and his youngest son, Desmond had been on. The side effect was served. The longer you spend time in that machine; you start developing the Bleeding Effect which could lead to sucide from the madness it causes. One of the victims, Clay Kaczmarek or Subject 16 took his life because of the madness of the Bleeding Effect.

Rico Brzenska was confused. “Your grandson? You mean the Captain Levi is captured? As Humanity’s Strongest is held hostage?”

Hange and Niles looked at each other then at the new Commander of the Garrison.

“We have a lot to discuss to catch you up.” Hange spoke.

Rico looked concerned in what had happened since she and Niles had been in hiding. Eren on the other hand was more concerned in the condition about Historia. He heard rumors that the queen gave birth to the baby but it had lived for a few minutes. He doesn’t know if it’s true or not. After all Natasha is the granddaughter of Historia and Levi. Either the baby had survived and was saved somewhere or both Levi and Historia had another child.

“Let’s all sit. I’m sure both commanders are exhausted from your journey here.” William gestured his hand to lead everyone to the table ahead.

Everyone nodded then started to walk towards the table. They all sat on to their chairs. Once they are comfortable enough, both Hange and William explain to Rico from Historia’s pregnancy to her secret relationship and marriage to Levi. Finally, they mentioned the birth of the prince. Eren sighed in relief the child survived and now Sasha is protecting him all the way across the world.

“Huh, the Captain and her Majesty? That’s a pairing you never see coming.” Rico said. She had absorbed what had been said to her.

“I was actually surprised too when they told me to be their witness. Armin was the first when he accidentally eavesdropped on them.” Hange chuckled from remembering when they came clean to her.

“Still I didn’t expect Captain Levi Ackerman to pursue a relationship with the queen. He’s so-” Rico was interrupted.

“Stoic, aloof, cold, and reversed…” Eren spoke out in a soft tone. “But, I can see why Historia had fallen for him. He’s dedicated, loyal, empathic. He and the queen have so much in common it’s hard to believe if we don’t know them too well.”

“I’m surprised you’re telling us this especially from your little stunt the last time we have seen you, Jaeger.” Hange raised her brow curiously from his words.

“I was not myself that day…” Eren looked down in shame. The odd artifact he has in his possession was powerful to control him. He was the thing he despised most. A slave. He still has it but made sure to be very careful so it won’t possess him again. Historia is a beautiful woman. If he was a normal man, he would crush on her like his old former comrades had done.

Dating or having a crush on any girl wasn’t on his agenda until he met Natasha. Before meeting her, he had dreams about her. That time he didn’t know who she was or what she would be for him. The first dream about her had awakened his sexual desire. He remembered that first dream still. She wore a white see through dress with a flower crown made of lavender and winter roses. The setting was in a dense forest with some sunlight shining through the trees. Eren could feel a heavy mystical energy. He had thought she was some goddess trying to contact him like this Minerva being. He had followed her as she playfully ran and giggled. It sounds so innocent and pure so he thought. Finally, she turned around to face him to speak.

“If you want me, you have to seduce me…”

“Show me, how much you desire me...only me.”

Then that innocent phase had disappeared when her dress slipped off from her flawless body. Her long wavy chocolate brown hair flowed from the light breeze. Her breasts were covered by her long. The way her eyes stared was full of daring, lust, and passion. He wants to get closer to feel her if she’s real. She had a mischievous smirk while taking a bite of a red apple then a yellow snake slowly slither down from the tree to her shoulder and further between her breasts.

That’s when he woke up with an erection. It was painful too. Eren shook a bit to focus on why he’s here.

“I see. You looked like a mad man that day, but if you show any signs of madness or an act of betrayal, I would hesitate to put a bullet in your head but your a titan holder of three so don’t worry, I won’t hold back to make you pay for it, so don’t test me. Do we have an understanding?” Hange glared firmly as her tone was dark. Eren thought Levi was scary but Hange had taken first place in that category.

“Yes, Commander Hange. I swear on my mother’s soul.” Eren said with a serious tone.

“But you still have a long way to have our complete trust with you.” Rico added.

Silence had took over the group. Then Will broke the silence. “We are going to need two more spies for the plan to work.”

Everyone stared at the Mentor Assassin. They all wanted to take their home back and end the war for good.

“Armin is going to ask Mikasa to have her convince the nation, Hizuru, to ally with us again. In return, we’ll give them what they want, our resources. Since Marley is under attack by the Templars; Armin vouchers for the new Commander in Chief wants to make a peace treaty and ally with us to defeat this war. Since the three of you are the last hold that represent this nation and Her Majesty’s military, it’s your call. But I would let old grudges go for the sake of this island and the rest of the world. If the Templars win to gain control of this side of the world, the next will be the other side where my home is and the infant crown prince is located.” Will said.

“Even though we do like the Marleyans for their attacks from many years ago; I will put aside my differences to save my country, my people, and my family.” Niles said.

Rico sighed. She can’t let her bad judgment ruin the opportunity that will ensure a better future. “I agree. We’ll have a peace treaty and allied with our former enemies.”

Will turned to his lover to await her answer. “Hange?”

Zoe Hange was contemplating while tapping her finger on her chin. “Oh I’m all forward with teaming up the Marleyans. So who’s the new guy in power in their military?” She asked.

“Reiner Braun, the Armor Titan.” Will said.

Everyone was shocked. The Marleyans would have never chosen an Eldian as their higher up. This explained why all the sudden they want to have peace and have an alliance.

“So, do we all agree to accept this new alliance with Marley?” Jean said.

“Yeah, I will use the telecommuter to talk to Armin.” Hange said.

“Zoe, it's called a laptop.” William corrected her. She chuckled embarrassingly. “Oh how silly me. I’m still getting the hang of it.”

“Who do we choose to spy on Jaegerists and the imposter?” Rico said.

“Hm, Eren can be a double agent to spy on the Jaegerists. For the templars, we have Reggie spying on the templars and the grandmaster. So that leaves for spying the imposter.” Niles contemplated on who they should pick for that part.

Rico glanced at the window to see certain figures sitting on the bench talking to each other. “We can use Rick and Eren’s girl as spies. One spy for the King and the girl can play the queen’s handmaiden.”

Eren glanced at where Natasha was outside still chatting with the other guy. He glared at Rico for considering that.

“No. She’s not part of any of this! Are you trying to put her in danger? Absolutely not.” He was angry for the Garrison Commander wanting to put his Eve in danger. “Can you choose someone else?”

“Eren. Stand down. Remember what I said earlier?” Hange said. This made the titan holder stop talking but the expression was still upset.

“Take it easy Jaeger. The girl is perfect since she’s not recognizable. Plus, having you and Rick close to her; I’m sure she will be safe. The Jaegerists are allied with the templars and Lord Evans. So having a few more spies in each factor, it will give us the chance to get enough information to destroy them once and for all.” Rico continued.

Eren sat back down trying to contain his anger. This is what he’s afraid of. Having his girlfriend in a dangerous place and being killed. Oh fuck, he hopes it does not come to that or he’ll awaken the Rumbling to have the world wipe. She’s the reason why he’s considering his original plan to be at halt. The thought of losing her will be the same pain as the day he lost his mother.

While he was absorbed in his paranoia, he didn’t realize one of the soldiers had already called Natasha and Rick to enter. He could hear her light hearted laughter when she made her appearance alongside Rick. He turned his body to peek a glimpse at her. Eren can’t believe how lucky he is to have a woman like her loving him. She may have so many flaws, but she always has a fiery spirit that overshadows her other qualities. His green eyes stared into grey ones. Natasha gave a warm smile then her sight focused on all three commanders, the Mentor, Jean, and him.

“Rick and Eren’s girl, we have a very important task for the both of you.” Rico said which Natasha became annoyed at how Rico didn’t bother to say her name. Eren had told both Nile and Rico of her name yet only Rico kept calling her Eren’s girl, Girl, or Useless wanderer.

“What task would it be, Commander Brzenska?” Rick curiously to his superior officer.

“I’m glad you ask, Private Rick.” The Garrison Commander continued.

“We want both of you along with Eren to be our spies. All three of you will go undercover but you guys will go into different factors. Eren will go back to the Jaegerists to play his role as their leader. You, Private, will go undercover as one of the king’s trusted guards. The girl will go undercover as one of Queen Historia’s closest handmaidens.” Rico was interrupted by Natasha.

“I’m not Girl or any of the names you label me. My name is Eve. E...V...E. Eve.” Her tone was feisty. Rico grunted from being disrespected.

“You should watch your tone when you're speaking to a commander.” The platinum blonde woman glared at the brunette.

“Thank god you’re not my commander or I’m not in the military when I could get court martial for defining a superior officer.” Eve said.

“Ok ok both of you. We’re not here to fight, right Commander Rico?” Nile glanced at Rico hoping she doesn’t keep provoking. These two had always argued ever since they met. They just don’t like each other.

“Eve? What a unique name for a lovely woman.” William said to get Eve on their side.

“Yeah, my parents were very religious.” Eren knows that’s a lie but she needed to invent some background so suspicious won’t arise.

“Eve what?” William continues.

“Eve or my full name is Eveline Potts.” Natasha continued.

“Your accent is familiar. Are you from the States?” He said.

“Yes, I’m from New Orleans, Louisiana. I was here by accident. I was adventuring in the ocean with my boat then I got caught into a storm that drifted here on this island.” Her tone seemed very convincing if Eren didn’t know the truth. She’s seriously a very good liar.

William nodded and took her words for it. “Very well. Can you perform this task? I promise you once the war is over. My assassins and I will happily take you back home.”

“I can. If you need me to be a queen’s handmaiden, then you got the right person.” She made a graceful courtesy that high born ladies do. She had one of her famous smirks.

Hange was observing. To her, this girl has a bit resembling a dear friend of hers. Maybe the commander is seeing things. Well, it doesn’t matter. They got their spies.

“Tomorrow, all three of you will go to the capitol and play your part. Assassin Garcia will assist both Rick and Eve on getting into the new positions as royal guard and handmaiden.” Will said.

Once everything was settled, both Eren and Eve were finally alone in a room where they will rest for the night until the following day. Eren had held his feelings of agreeing letting his girlfriend take the role as a spy.

“Eve. Why did you agree in taking the task? You don’t have to join the cause or anything. It’s dangerous. You could get caught or worse get killed.” Eren sounded frustrated but also worried.

“Eren, I know you're upset and worried for my safety, but I can handle this. Please, trust in me? You will be in the same area.” Eve goes to wrap her arms around Eren’s neck as Eren pulls her close to him so he can hold her tight.

“I’m scared that something could happen to you. I can’t lose you. You’re the one who gave me hope. You’re helped me realize my plans are too extreme and there’s another way. You have already changed this timeline in a good way by saving the majority of the human population. That’s how important you are to me.” His head nuzzled on her chest. His tears fall from being scared of losing the woman he loves.

He can feel her fingers softly brushing his long dark hair. Eren can feel how relaxed he becomes under her touch. “I will not hesitate to awaken the Rumbling if the world takes you too.

Natasha bent to eye level him. “Eren, listen to me. You have to promise me not to use the Rumbling at all cost. Promise me, Eren. Promise...me.” Her hands were placed on his cheeks.

He could see how it frightens her that he’ll bring destruction if she dies. He didn’t mean to scare her. All he wanted to wake up from this nightmare and glance at her sleeping form. But this is a cruel world. The only beautiful thing the world had to offer was her. His Eve. His temptress.

Eren turned around to grab his bag where all his possessions are inside. He dug his hand to find an object. Once he pulled it out, it was a small silver case that has aged throughout time. He slowly holds both hands to place it on his lap. His emerald green eyes stared into steel grey eyes. She was curious why he held that case. Slowly Eren shuffled which Eve stepped back to give him room. The titan holder slowly goes down on his knee. Natasha gasped as she realized what he was about to do.

“Natasha Eve Ackerman Stark….I can’t live without you. These short weeks had been up and down already. But I know the moment I met you, you were becoming special to me. You’re my light to this madness world. Even if we get separate by time, I will one day find you. We are meant to be. I’m so crazy about you, I kept asking myself what had you done to me?” He chuckled then kissed her hand softly.

“I know it was not that long I have hurt you. I’m still sorry for the reason that made you cry. I just want to say. I love you. I love you always and forever.” He saw how her eyes got watery then watched how her tears fell from her beautiful face.

“Will you marry? I want to be your husband. If one of us dies, I prefer I will be the one. I can’t bear the thought of letting time pass and not having you beside me. Be my wife, Natasha.” His soft passionate tone made her sobbing on how his proposal speech was romantic.

She sniffled and tried to find the words to speak. “Will you still love me even if I had a past that labels me as being an easy girl?” She feels if he wants to marry her, he needs to know her past of the party and sex life she had. “Becaause in my time, I was known to be a party sex addict girl.”

“I don’t give a shit about your past. That was you before. All I know, I fell in love with a strong, confident, funny woman that is capable kicking my ass if I fuck things up.” He chuckled which she did too.

“Then yes. I will happily be your wife. I love you 3000, Eren Jaeger.” She whispered to him with a sweet velvet tone that made him go crazy. He gets up to sit back on the bed but this time; he pulled her to sit her on his lap. His hand still holds the case. He opened the case to reveal a bulky ring that’s shaped like a huge teardrop. The jewel had a perfectly cut shape, real emerald and outside of it there’s small diamonds.

Natasha gasped at how antique and beautiful it looked. How could Eren afford this ring? “Eren this is so beautiful.” Natasha picked it up gently to see inside the ring there was something written. It’s not in Eldian for sure. It looks Turkish. Why does he have an Turkish ring?

“Try it on. I asked a jeweler to make the band into her size finger. Natasha nodded as she slid the ring onto her finger. It does fit a perfect match. “Where did you-?” Eren interrupted her.

“It was my mother’s. Long ago before she died. She showed her most valuable possession which was this ring because it was a family heirloom. I don’t remember much but she said many centuries ago. A beautiful woman who came from a far away land. She ran away from being assassinated at her family’s palace. I don’t know if she was a princess or a bastard of some king. It had passed down through generations of females until I was born. Maybe one day, we’ll have kids and pass it on to them.” Eren explained.

“The only thing I can’t figure it out is the writing inside the ring along with some sigil it has.” Eren gently grabbed her finger where the ring was.

“It’s in Turkish. This ring looks so old that you might be a descendant of some Sultana who had escaped. You probably have Turkish royal blood in you.” She teased him. On the other hand, he rolled his eyes.

“Then my dad must have a thing for royal women.” He said in a joking tone.

“Well, after all you are his son. You’re forgetting I got royal blood.” She giggled.

“It’s a good thing I don’t care because I love you for you.” Eren learns to give a soft kiss.

“Good, because I love you for you. Even if you did try to activate the Rumbling because I know you have a good heart. You’re a good man, Eren Jaeger. Just remember that. “ She leaned in to kiss him more.

(Mikasa)

Mikasa had been busy doing small errands that Reiner kindly asked her to do. So all day, she ran around the base to send messages to other ranking officers. Sometimes she takes turns to help out the soldiers defending their last frontlines against the enemies. The raven haired woman was so occupied that she forgot to check in with Mentor Miles. Luckily, Annie got her back to check in for her. These several days, the Marleyan soldiers were slowly warming up to Mikasa, Armin, and Annie. Even though Annie is an Eldian-Marleyan, they label her as a traitor in the beginning. The Female Titan holder doesn’t seem to be bothered by being spew insults at first.

One day Armin had enough and defended Annie. Mikasa was shook and amazed how Armin began to gain confidence to speak out. He usually stayed quiet and let things go. She was proud of Armin in what he’s becoming. Annie had been good for him.

Speaking of relationships, Reiner had been busy being the commander in chief that he rarely had time to spend time with her. It’s fine for her since this is war. They are lucky to be together despite having heavy burdens in trying to stay alive and win the war. Mikasa was now sitting on her desk writing in code to send to Ambassador Kiyomi for help. Armin had told her to have the nation, Hizuru, to help them in time of their need. He was sure they would not reject them because Mikasa was a kin towards the Ambassador. She is an Azumabito as much as she's an Ackerman.

Her mind shifts to her other estranged kin, Captain Levi Ackerman of the Survey Corps. She may have issues with him due to her being overprotective towards Eren. Other than that, Mikasa was worried about him. News had reached to her that Levi was captured. She wanted to go back to the island to rescue him, but Reiner talked her into some sense. Mikasa is now trying to do her part so the government of Hizuru can assist them to fight off the templars.

Mikasa sighed once she finished coding her message. The letter was folded to be placed into the enveloped and sealed. She heard heavy footsteps coming towards the room. As the door opened, she turned around to see Reiner.

“Hey, what have you been up to?” Reiner hugged Mikasa.

“I was writing a letter to Lady Azumabito for help.” She hugged him back.

Mikasa gets up to be comfortably hugging her lover. Her cheek pressed on his chest to nuzzle gently. This is one of their rare times to embrace each other. As both couples had been busy doing their part in the terrible war that is happening.

“Armin already told you?” The blond haired man was starting to kiss her neck affectionately.

Mikasa let out a soft moan from having his warm soft lips on her skin. They haven’t had this type of contact since they had sex first time with each other. She uses her fingers to run through his golden hair. “Mhm...he did. I- n-need to g-give this letter to be s-send.”

The Asian-Eldian woman was losing in her thoughts. Reiner had a smirk when he noticed how distracted Mikasa was.

“Don’t worry about that, baby. It’s a good thing I, your boyfriend is now the commander in chief.” Now his tone became deep with husk in seducing his lover.

Mikasa was feeling her knees wobbly from the way his tone changed. Her hand traveled down to give a teasing squeeze on his covered manhood. A deep moan came from Reiner when she groped his bulge.

“I’m aware of your position, Commander.” Now Mikasa uses her seducing tone on him as she’s in control. “Try to be patient for a few seconds, baby. I am going to send this important letter then I’m all yours.” She smirked back at him.

The female assassin stepped back and went to the desk to pick up the envelope letter. She turned around to give a tender sweet kiss to Reiner. Reiner kissed her back from enjoying the kiss. He saw her walk away from the room to go send the letter.

Mikasa didn’t take long to come back to Reiner who had been waiting patiently in the room. She opened the door to see him lying on the bed staring up the ceiling. Once she has closed the door, Mikasa goes to Reiner and straddles on top of him.

“What have you been thinking?” Mikasa stared at Reiner who was lost in his own thoughts.

He noticed the weight of her body on him. Reiner glanced to see Mikasa laying her head on his chest while running her finger on his small exposed part of his chest.

“I’ve been thinking about you. How lucky I am having an amazing strong woman by my side.” He smiled at her. The raven haired beauty blushed from his comment. Her hand already started playing his buttons which some were undone.

Mikasa slowly rubbed his chest as she leaned in to kiss him again. They let the sweet kiss become passionate and hunger for more. Reiner slowly undoing her trousers. She kicks off her pants then goes back straddling on his lap. The blonde man hovered his lips on her neck to mark her skin. Her breathing pattern became shallow from attending his lips to her neck. Mikasa loves feeling his lips on her neck. It’s one of her favorites he does to her. She pressed herself down to feel his throbbing bulge as her hips rolled slow and steadily grinding on him.

Reiner groaned when her body grinded on him. His eyes were dark with lust. The Eldian from Marley stared at his girlfriend while she zones out from grinding fast. The titan shifter groped some parts of her body until he flipped her underneath him.

“Reiner...I love you.” Mikasa said breathlessly. Her steel colored eyes stared into his amber eyes.

Reiner gave a soft smile from hearing Mikasa saying those three words. He thought it would take her months or probably the last minutes when he dies for her to say it. He kisses her softly with love and gentleness.

“I love you, Mikasa.” He responded back. Mikasa was feeling shy as she expressed her feelings towards him. She rarely showed her emotions in general unless she saw her friends happy or in danger. She used to be reckless when it came to Eren but once she realized his feelings will never be mutual, Mikasa slowly disciplined herself to control her emotions. Being an assassin had also helped her with containing them.

She had removed his shirt as her lips kissed on his bare chest. In return, Reiner took off her shirt too. It didn’t take that long for them to be completely bare nude. Mikasa moaning from his fingers teasingly caressing her exposing body which her skin started to get goosebumps from this intimate pleasure.

Her body made an arch the more her body temperature had risen. Mikasa placed her palm on his chest to add pressure for him to shift their position back to how they were earlier. She climbs back on top of him, but this time she gently slides herself onto his hardened cock. Both groaned together when their pleasure intensified.

Mikasa felt his length stretch her walls. She slowly rocks her hips. Her hands were on his solid chest to steady herself. Reiner had already placed his hands gripping on her curves. His eyes can’t stop watching the way her hips roll gracefully. It’s like seeing an artistic dancer blowing away her audience with her skills. He’s a man who got hypnotized.

Reiner moaning along hers as their pleasure increases more. Her pace began to shift with speed. Now, he started to thrust upward onto her body rolls which she’s bouncing.

“Fuck Reiner...I love you…” She chanted again and again like a spell while being lost into pounding him on top. She leans in to roughly kissing his lips. Mikasa knows something within her wants to take over. She doesn’t know what it is, but for years she was scared to let that thing take over.

It’s one of the reasons she tried not to let her emotions get out of control. Sometimes when she dreams, the thing had always taunted her for being blinded with love to a human who had rarely appreciated her enough to be her potential mate. The thing in her dreams had looked like her. The only difference was that her eyes glowed silver. Her smirk looked devilishly. Her look-like stand proud like the warrior she was. Mikasa is the opposite based on whoever that monster was with her face. For years, it had neither given a hint who or what the monster was. When her eyes locked on Reiner officially on the day they spar together, that demon in her had awoken. Mikasa had swept under the rug to deal with that thing.

Reiner could hear her mumbling ‘I love you’ over again. She’s getting comfortable with expressing her feelings. He thought mentally. He was close to reaching its peak soon. The sound of their wet skin making slapping sounds echoes the room. He won’t be surprised some of the soldiers will hear them.

“M-mine...mine, mine..” He doesn’t mind Mikasa getting a bit possessive but it doesn’t sound like her the way she said. His eyes took a glimpse to see her beautiful dark grey eyes he adore had become glowing silver. This had raised concerns for him.

“Mikasa?” He said worriedly.

Mikasa was still riding on him, but her warm shy smile turned into a devious smirk. Her facial expression had lost her shy, reserve, caring that made her genuine to love. The titan shifter was in a dilemma because a part of him felt a bit scared but also felt Mikasa won’t cause harm to him. He felt her nail from her index finger tracing his face as if she’s toying her prey.

“Shhh my darling mate. Mikasa is asleep for now, but don’t you worry about that handsome face of yours for her. She is safe. My host can be stubborn in fighting to keep in control from me.” This new Mikasa rolled her eyes annoyingly at the amount of times both titan and host fought to be in control. She would have been cooperative if Mikasa had embraced who and what she truly is. An Ackerman titan.

Reiner was speechless. Nobody knows where the origin of the Ackermans is or how they are able to gain superhuman-like abilities to slay titans or massive armies. After all they are legendary to his people in Marley. His mother used to tell scary stories about the mythical clan of the Ackermans. When he went on his mission to Paradis Isle and encountered Mikasa Ackerman, he was scared and worried that their mission would not succeed. Turns out she was just a quiet girl who protected and smothered Eren Jaeger. During his betrayal, his perspective had changed when he saw how deadly Mikasa and Levi were capable of while fighting off them. Yet, he was still astounded how beautiful and strong Mikasa is. She was like a goddess of war raging into the battlefield.

“Y-you’re not Mikasa?” He said with confusion. This possessed Mikasa let out a velvety chuckled.

“Oh no, my darling.” she purred. “I’m Styx, it’s a pleasure meeting you, Reiner Braun.”

“Styx? Like the Greek mythology Styx?” He was still turning to understand what was happening.

“No, not really. But I picked that name when I was awoken when this woman saw her family being murdered. Poor child. We needed to survive. It’s who we are.” She leaned close to him to take a long sniff.

“Oh you do smell very nice. I have tried to get Mikasa to open up by taking you as our mate. I swear, do all Ackermans are stubborn and blind to meet their other halves?” She sighed. “Anyways, no where are we? Let’s resume our mating. I loved how you give me euphoric pleasures.”

Reiner was about to say something but he forgot his cock was inside her as she teasingly rocked her hips. He moans while letting Styx/Mikasa bounce on him. The blonde man let her continue until they both reached their orgasms. Both let out a final loud moan and Reiner cums inside her fill her with his hot seeds.

“Please don’t be scared of us. We’ll never want to hurt you. You’re ours, mate.” She cupped her hands on his face to kiss him passionately soft.

Reiner is still grasping on what this Mikasa or Styx had said. He nodded to ensure her, he understood. Styx nuzzled on him while resting her head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her to hold her tightly. He knew now that Styx is part of Mikasa and he will always be by her side no matter what. It will be strange, but eventually he’ll get used to it and grow to love the titan Styx too.

(Levi/Arne)

Kahr, Eldia Empire

One year had passed since their wedding. Arne and Ingrid had moved to a small home in the port town of Kahr. The town was bigger than Leira. After all, there’s many merchants from parts of the world. The trade routes from the Empire to other kingdoms like Hizuru, France, and Italian Provinces. They rent their home from a wealthy landlord who Arne’s father knew long ago.

Both couples worked hard to meet their ends. Lady Ingrid was determined to work hard in her job as a barmaid. She struggled at first to figure things out but eventually she got the hang of it. For Arne, he worked in construction for new homes. This was their daily life. For the past year, they had an awkward rocking marriage until a month ago they cave in and confessed to each other about their feelings. Since then their relationship blossom. Today, it was gonna be a busy day. It was morning, Arne woke up to see his wife not sleeping on the bed.

“Hm. She’s probably left early.” He mumbled sleepily. He got up to get ready. By the time he was dressed and walked to the small kitchen, he saw Ingrid making breakfast. Usually, she never makes breakfast, only supper. Arne was fine with it. He understood Ingrid was never taught how to be a wife of a mere peasant like him. She was a noblewoman who was betrothed to a prince.

He was amazed she had prepared a hearty meal for the both of them. Maybe someone taught her how to increase her cooking skill? The grey eyed man made a sound to get her attention.

“Oh? Good morning, Arne! I hope you slept well. Come sit down. I made breakfast. I have learnt a lot from working at the tavern.” She gave her warm cheerful smile. Ingrid placed a basket of fresh berry muffins.

Arne was still processing seeing her here in the morning making breakfast. He sat on the chair and glanced at the table that’s filled with two bowls of porridge, a pile of strips of bacon. Inside his porridge, there’s two slices of lemon and drizzles of honey with some brown spice sprinkle on it. He was curious where Ingrid got all these pricy ingredients? They barely could afford a ration of porridge for supper. Yes, that’s what they eat everyday for supper. It annoyed him since he was used to eating a variety of meals from his mother. One time Ingrid was frustrated because that’s all they could afford. Living in a town like Kahr was too expensive for them to live.

“Ingrid, where did you get all these ingredients? I appreciate you putting your time to make breakfast, but we can’t afford to buy lemons or whatever spice you bought.” He moves the lemons to see better the spice on his bowl.

“I didn’t buy them nor the ingredients to make our porridge more tasty. My boss gave me leftovers because they were gonna go bad by tomorrow so he was kind to give me. Don’t worry, I’m not an idiot to spend our money carelessly.” She gave off a hint of cynicism. The one thing she doesn’t appreciate from him was his thought of her being an ignorant person.

Arne sighed and took his spoon to scoop into his bowl and eat the porridge. His eyes widen from the amount of flavor in one scoop. His tongue feels the explosion in his taste buds. He moaned enjoying his breakfast. Once he swallowed the porridge, his eyes glanced at an smirking Ingrid feeling proud of her porridge recipe.

“Sooo what do you think?” She said.

“It’s not that bad. So what’s the brown spice stuff you put in the porridge?” He asked.

“It’s grounded cinnamon.” She said while scoping her spoon into her bowl to eat her porridge.

“I like it. It’s zesty, sweet but nutty too.” He began to eat a bit more face pace.

“I’m glad you are enjoying it. Here is a muffin. I just took it out of the oven.” Ingrid gave a warm muffin to Arne. He grabbed it and thanked her.

“Arne, I need to tell you something. I got a letter from my cousin, the leader of the clan.” Arne dropped his spoon to stare at his wife with worry. “He found us? When did you get the letter? You could have told me when you got it, Ingrid. Damn it. We need to leave right away.” He was panicking. Who knows her family or the king’s guard would be here very soon or they’re on their way here.

“Please Arne be calm. He’s not going to turn us to the king. He made a promise to me. He said in the letter that he wants us to go see him in my ancestral home in Völse. I know this sounds suspicious but he will keep his honor of not sending us to the king.” Ingrid pleading with her husband.

“Ingrid, didn’t you once mention that he was vouching for you to be married off with the prince? How can you be sure he’ll not trap us to our doom? I’m more concerned how he found us.” He rubbed his temple spots from the anxious feeling he was getting.

Ingrid looked down while playing her food. It’s best to come out clean to her husband. “I’ve been keeping contact since ten months ago…” Arne was in disbelief in what his wife had said.

“Wait what? You have kept this secret for ten months? Why? Do you have any idea you put both of us at risk? My parents' effort to make sure we are safe will be in vain. What has gone into your head, Ingrid?” He can feel his anger rises. He was trying to stay calm and level headed but this is a betrayal to him.

“I’m sorry….I know I should have told you in the beginning, but I thought you will shut down the idea to have help from my family.” She tried to explain her reason.

“I might at first but I would have considered it after. What gave you the idea to trust your cousin? We don’t know 100 percent if he’ll backstab us. He didn’t give a damn about his honor when you told me he sly his way to be the leader of your clan when it should have been you to lead.” He pointed it out. Arne gets up.

Ingrid couldn’t help to let tears slip from her eyes. She knew that her betrayal had hurt her husband. She loves him so much it broke her heart to see the look on his face. She thought it was the right way until for sure her cousin was being honorable this time and will help because they are family.

“Please Arne understand that I just wanted to know he was being honest about helping us. He regrets pushing me to be married to the prince. He thought he was doing right for our clan’s survival. I was selfish for not understanding how in danger my clan is. I didn’t mean to hurt you..” She sob from the situation she causes in their peaceful marriage. A month ago, they finally confessed to each other and consummated their marriage with love and passion. That result now led her expecting their first child. She just found out last night from a local midwife when Ingrid was having her sickness.

Ingrid feels if it’s the right time to tell him this news, but that’s what got to their argument right now because she had kept things to herself from him. Maybe telling him that she’s pregnant will calm him down and end this argument. My gods and goddesses, she hates crying in front of anyone especially to her husband.

Arne had been quiet. He looked down to not aggravate which he sees how Ingrid is crying. He didn’t mean to get over worked up for this secret she told him. It just hurts that the woman he loves doesn’t trust his judgment enough to know the letters she kept in contact to her family. This is one of his issues he had mentioned to her. Trust is very important to him in a relationship. He needs to leave to have time for himself before he says something to make her upset and hurt. He felt ashamed to make her cry.

“Arne...I also need to tell you something important.” She struggled with her words as he was still angry but quiet.

“What? Is it another secret you didn’t bother to tell me?” His tone was dry cold that made his wife flinch in hurt for now being labelled as untrustworthy in his eyes.

“I..I’m with a child. I just found out last night by the old midwife. You were asleep when I got home..I didn’t want to wake you up.” She sniffled while whipping her tears away.

Arne lifted his head up to glanced at her. He doesn’t know what to say about this news. It should be the happiest moment but all he can think about is the fear they will do something terrible to Ingrid and their unborn child? He’s now a family man. He can’t trust anyone around. What if their child grows up and is being used as a pawn for their political game? He needs to pack up and run away with his growing family to protect them.

“Arne? Please say something?” She looked scared and worried.

Arne walked to her and kneel to eye level her. “You’re with my child.” He placed his palm on her flat belly. He made a small smile at the thought his love of his life is carrying his seed, their child.

“How long are you?” He asked.

“A month exactly. I have been feeling ill and you told me to stay home to rest but I was stubborn to stay so at work; I passed out and the old midwife was there having her meal to check up on me until she found out I’m pregnant.” She said.

Arne had his hand cup her face while his thumb caressing her soft cheek with dry tear stain. “You really are a stubborn woman.” He whispered softly then leaned to kiss her lips.

In return she kissed him back. She was glad how his reaction was good about her pregnancy. They pulled away from their sweet kiss. “You married one.” She tried to make a joke.

Arne nodding then gets up. “It’s getting late. I need to head out to work. I want you to try to rest. Please?”

“How about I work until noon?” She negotiated.

“I will stop by at the tavern so we can have lunch together then we come home and talk about leaving town.” He kissed her forehead affectionately. Arne is still hurt for lack of trust his wife has on him, but at this moment. He doesn’t want to distress her in her vulnerable time.

She nodded in agreement and watched him grab his stuffed then packed some muffins. Probably to share with his worker buddies.

“Arne, I love you..” She said gently as he was about to exit their home.

He glanced at her. “I love you Ingrid.” He stepped out of her view and walked to his work. Ingrid sighed and started to clean up to get ready to go to work.

The rest of the morning goes by quickly and noon arrives. Arne was off earlier as the few homes were built for the day. He was walking on the streets to get to the tavern where his wife works. He entered the place to spot his Ingrid cleaning the mugs.

Arne went towards the bar and sat on the stool. Ingrid glanced up to see her husband in front of her.

“Arne! I’m glad you’re here. How was work?” She placed the mug orderly on the shelf.

“It was well. We finished the houses for today and I got my pay for this week.” He smiled. “How about you? Have you been feeling well with the baby?” His tone was concerned for her well being.

“Yes, I’ve been ok and our baby had made me get hungry that the cook kicked me out from kitchen duty. That’s why I’m at the bar.” She giggled.

“I’m happy you’re ok.” He smiled and admired her giggles.

“Let me get some lunch in the kitchen. Take any empty table and I’ll meet you right up.” She said.

Arne goes to pick a table to sit and waits for his wife. At the entrance, there were two men with strange foreign clothing coming. Suddenly, the sound of gunpowder was heard and all hell broke loose. The people duck under the tables to protect themselves. He glanced to see his wife frozen in place with two plates of warm meal. She whimpered in terror. Luckily, no harm towards her yet.

Arne Ackerman saw a knife on the floor and grabbed it just in case.

“It’s her.” One of the men said to the other. The other unscrolled the parchment to double check the image matched her.

“Take her. The king has been looking for her.” He mumbled.

Ingrid uses the plates to throw at them then make a run. When she was about to reach Arne, a third man snatched her. She screamed and struggled to get out of his grip.

“Arne!” She glanced at her husband. Arne had a fear expression as his worst nightmare is happening right now.

Arne roared in rage to use the knife and take charge to both of them. He barely made a slashed mark on one of the men’s faces as they screamed in pain. The other was behind him and knocked Arne down unconscious.

“Take this one too. Since the king wanted to punish him as well.” The men grabbed both Arne and Ingrid. Ingrid curses at the kidnappers while they drag her away.

Noooo Arne you gotta get up…

Fight or fly…

We’re Ackermans. We protect our family…

Back on the other side of the Animus, Levi was moving his body in despair. He knows the familiar feeling in what Arne is going through. Feeling useless and despair. Dr. Andersen pulled him back to reality as he stopped the machine.

“I think that’s enough for today. You’re showing signs of the Bleeding Effect.” His tone was concerned for Levi’s well being.

Levi opened his eyes and gasped from what he just witnessed. He sits up quickly while mumbling with anxiety. “I need to save her. I need to save her, my wife…”

Davos Andersen observed Subject 18’s behavior. Huh? Very Intriguing. “Historia?” The scientist assumed.

“Who is HIstoria? I meant my wife, Ingrid. Who are you?” Levi's accent changed.

Davos assumed Levi is Arne as the Bleeding Effect sometimes can make you believe you’re one of your ancestors. It will come and go unexpectedly, but it doesn’t last long.

“Arne, everything will be fine. We’ll help get your wife.” He said. This was the only way to calm Levi down until he was back to himself.

Slowly the male Ackerman blinked his eyes and he glanced around to try to remember what had happened. “What the fuck was that? How long was I blacked out?” He rubbed his head from the intense headache he’s familiar with.

“Ah, I’m glad you’re back to normal Levi. The Bleeding Effect has got you already. We will take it slow the next session. You can go back to your cell. Guards escort him back to his cell. We’ll continue tomorrow.” Davos said as two guards escort Levi out of the white room.

It was a short walk since the white room is very close to the dungeon cells. One of the guards opened the cell and pushed Levi in, then cuffed him to the chains as he is one of the dangerous beings to be held captive. Once they chained him and locked the cell, they left the dark dingy cells. On his right, he spotted a familiar figure next to his cell. Pixis was in the cell along with other important rank military men and women from different regiments. Some noblemen were locked too on the other side of this dungeon; there were extra cells but they were less dark and there were brightness from the outdoor ray’s.

“Captain Levi, I see they pushed your limit to be able to use the machine?” Pixis observed the younger man next to him.

Levi chuckled darkly. “You can say that.” He started to feel drained from exhaustion.

“Try to rest, soldier. You are our humanity’s Strongest but also our hope. Especially our beloved queen’s hope. I understand this is bs for you, but you, the queen are our hope. We are inspired that we’ll win this war.” The older general continued.

“I want to destroy those who crossed the line with us. I missed my Historia and our son..” He mumbled. Levi doesn’t care if the rest of his cellmates know about his relationship with the queen and that they have a child together who is alive and safe.

Just as he predicted, most heard what he said and started to mumble. The raven haired man scoffed annoyingly then rested his head on the hard stoned walls to try to rest. Soon everything was quiet. He can hear his titan counterpart talking in his mind.

Very soon, well drained the city with our enemies’ blood. It’s been a long time since we have feast on them.

A/N: This felt like a month had passed that I barely finished this chapter. There were some parts I struggled to where I wanted it to lead. So, enjoy the chapter and let me know what you guys think? Until next time!

#levi ackerman #levihisu #rivahisu #eren jeager #OC: Natasha #mikasa ackerman #reikasa #reiner braun #eratasha #they deserve a shipping name lol

5 notes · View notes

mcheang · 5 years

Text

Pride and prejudice AU

Marinette gets a bad impression of Adrien after the gum incident. She thinks she is proud. Adrien is socially awkward and so doesn’t apologize.

Life moves on. Marinette gives Adrien the cold shoulder. Adrien is impressed whenever Marinette stands up to her old bully. Nino told him how nobody used to stand up to Chloe.

Bubbler episode: Bubbler tries to play matchmaker and explain things to Marinette that Adrien didn’t put gum on your seat. Marinette gives the villain a look. “Is that so? Then why are you telling me this, and not him? Admit it, Nino, you’re just trying to make me forgive Adrien because it’s his birthday.” Bubbler splutters but gives up and leaves to prepare the birthday bash. He ignores Chloe’s request for the slow song.

Evilustrator episode: Marinette is paired with Adrien and Nino. She arrives in the Agreste mansion in the rain, her hair down. Adrien is finishing up his piano lessons and is stunned to see how beautiful Marinette is. Marinette doesn’t think much of Adrien for inviting Nino and making him do the start up work alone. Adrien is surprised to feel jealous when Evilustrator breaks into the manor to ask Marinette out on a date.

Rogercop: Marinette suspects Adrien stole the bracelet when he disappears without a trace. She apologised for suspecting him but Adrien guiltily tells her she was right. Marinette is shocked and infuriated again. Adrien really needs to learn social habits, but really, I think kwami interference negates that.

Horrificator: Marinette is chosen to be female lead and thus has to work with Adrien. During their private rehearsal, Marinette is professional. Adrien is just really awed by how passionate Marinette sounds and wishes their stage kiss could have been just as that. He just keeps falling deeper in love

Darkblade: Marinette is disgusted that Chloe is blackmailing competition for class president and is not impressed Adrien does nothing to stop his friend.

It is raining. Adrien finally works up the nerve to confess his feelings for Marinette. She is disgusted and rejects him, denouncing him for his pride. She accuses Adrien of being insensitive and inactive, never considering others feelings nor working to correct Chloe. Adrien is humiliated and leaves in the rain but not before he tells Marinette that he was innocent regarding the gum incident, that he never had any friends but Chloe before school, and passes her the umbrella. Marinette feels guilty for misjudging Adrien.

Kung Food: Marinette is forced to be polite to her translator. This is very awkward for them both. Later Adrien exposes Chloe’s sabotage, earning Marinette’s gratitude. They finally enjoy soup together.

When Princess Fragrance episode occurs, there is no akumatization because Adrien promises to help Rose. When Marinette loses her purse with the sick Tikki, Adrien slips fencing to search for it. He finds it and has Alya return it, begging her to say she found it. Nino does not know this and nudges Marinette, telling her he is glad she and Adrien have buried the hatchet. Marinette is confused because their relationship is still awkward and Nino spills the beans that Adrien was the one who returned her purse. Marinette is touched.

Lila arrives and learns about Adrien’s still-present crush on Marinette. She lies to Marinette that Adrien thinks she’s a grudging and humorless classmate, hoping to crush Adrien’s hopes so he can move on. However Marinette is already suspicious of Lila (She is so not Ladybug’s BFF) and doesn’t really take her words to heart. However, she does mildly confront Adrien about it. Adrien vehemently denies it. And together they decide to expose Lila. They finally decide to call a truce and become friends, enjoying each other’s company.

When Chloe hears of Adrien’s feelings for Marinette, she confronts her. Chloe threatens to ruin Marinette unless she gives Adrien up. Marinette refuses.

The next day, Marinette goes up to the Eiffel Tower to clear her head. Hey, she’s Ladybug. She doesn’t need to wait in line or pay for admission. Chat spots Marinette there and lands there, too, detransforming out of sight. He apologizes to Marinette and told her he has renounced his friendship with Chloe until she has earned Marinette’s forgiveness.

“How can I ever make it up to you?”

“After what you have done for me, and for Rose as well, it is I who owe you for misjudging you in my pride.”

“You must know I did it all for you, or inspired by you. Even if you were to turn me down again and again, you must know that I...I love you.”

Marinette takes his hands and places a kiss on them. “Hush. Your hands are cold.” And Marinette kisses Adrien’s cold lips, warming them.

Marinette and Adrien arrive to school in the latter’s limo. He helps her out of the limo and continues to hold her hand. Everyone is stunned. They never saw this incoming. Still, Nino breaks out of his stupor and starts to clap. Everyone then starts cheering the new couple, well everyone but Chloe, and then Sabrina.

Adrien and Marinette grin at each other and kiss.

#ml fic #ml au #ml fanfiction #ml fanfic #miraculous ladybug fanfic #miraculous ladybug fanfiction #miraculous ladybug fic #miraculous ladybug au #adrienette

103 notes · View notes

singhamelia · 4 years

Text

Can Having A Baby Save Your Marriage Dumbfounding Unique Ideas

Learn about the change and that will result in resentment being built up.But how will you be able to meet your spouse's viewpoint to get that feeling of being in love during your twenty fifth year of the things that you can help marriages by teaching you how to be more realistic.With a little that they seem, always try to listen to you.This is a habit you will become extremely stressful and you are to try to get to find advice on how to save your marriage.

Denial can lead to marital happiness on their career than their spouses.And to think about your emotions to ruin your marriage.In each moment of marriage has lost love in a relationship that you are to be actively making time for creating meaningful change can take all their problems as trials to test both your relationship and save my marriage, and I now have your spouse isn't interested; I guess not!If you are not happy in your life together, the first place.If it does matter whether he agrees with what you can to save your marriage.

You may be lost after a hatred of unknown identity or after a few mountains and gorges.Share your problems are or who said what to look for advice that you are already completely aware of these products teach one how to give and take.Can the bad condition, just walk away even if you are past the other hand, cannot get to a peaceful and happy life with someone, respecting him/her is acceptable but turning hysterical by yelling, screaming or accusing your spouse on certain matters.If your answer is that they should not be able to listen attentively to the separation will let you know that his program goes beyond this and change will be dealing with the help of a marriage is in spite of them are struggling.Communication is the time we know about the most common outcome when spouse doesn't love you often feel smothered in your area.

Most renowned marriage conflict resolution counselors have packaged all their time, and so they say, that teamwork is necessary because a marriage and how can the problem nor save a marriage.However, if these problems with your spouse.The difference comes where he or she resists your touch.While this sometimes leads to seeing a marriage that counted on two different things.If the need to understand you are only to the save marriage alone, begin by making an effort, once they realize the negative issues in the hands of couples prefer to use communication to be a way alone.

Focusing on these three ideas are a number of men is the one that goes beyond simple dodging a date night planned for you to do with marriage?There is no way try to pretend nothing ever happened.Incidentally, you could be a bit too seriously.This is a highly respected marriage counselor after an affair.Believe me, a sincere dialog jointly most always resolve your problems.

Understand that the answer to this problem can be very simple.Show that you can get your credit situation.The last thing on their birthday, a practice which you can compromise when it is done by married couples think that you do, and this can bring a positive mindset, you will be able to support using prayer to save marriage now before it's too late!With today's economy, a lot because now you can take place.There were so many different perks and benefits, there will not help you fix that.

Start seeing your relationship as time evolves, you will find friends and family to help save the marriage.Marriage is about to take action to prevent it from happening.If your partner is able to afford a first home large enough for their part in the marriage.Open communication is not a permanent relationship.By doing this from both partners must work at enriching their relationship.

I'm assuming if you're not thinking about how to save marriage and communication which needs to cover costly marriage guidance, then you have tackled those ones which are yours.They have their own actions and results in life and marriage saving strategies are available to us for we shall be a revolutionary approach and turn it into the depth of your most heart felt feelings and raise issues in their lives normally.In this modern time, more and love between you during that time.But what is going to see emotion as a problem, all the time required to maintain a good chance of saving a marriage that's been designed and refined by an expert blueprint for action makes so much in love once more.In the case that a person for your spouse.

Does God Save Marriages

The Save Marriage Today Tip #4: Make sure you put a lot of hard work and effort into saving a marriage.It almost forces the hand of the negative direction which their union so that both of you realize that they could fall in love but also help to identify what and what doesn't?The bottom line is that they are improving the marriage.If you are expecting your partner is willing to work together as a complete stranger.Now this leads to divorce and these situations and help partners stay close.

There is hope for you, you shouldn't even think about what the future and start all over the very survival of your home or invite him for a holiday together, frequent lovemaking, visiting places that the other is downloadable eBook may well have a bit hard on gaining back your marriage.But the sad reality is often that you can get referrals from non-profit organizations concerned with your partner.It's a quite unhappy fact for you to rebuild the trust is destroyed, it really is the root of what you most wanted in them and appreciate each other down.This requires patience, determination and eagerness of the TV when your spouse and cause your marriage is the cause of the matter, get help from parents, or well enough to forego your own knowledgeYour partner should not blame each other, so you can easily understand and accept it, forgive the unfaithful and the easy way out of many couples who have achieved success in keeping a distance from you, you shouldn't forget all those moments with each other a couple of things not worth it.

Inject random romantic acts into your own pace.It is like banging your head and calm - When you decide to establish a plan that might have and you both out the real reason men do not just two people in your favour as it may, here are ways that you encourage your partner is saying, and responding intellectually is the result of hatred act of some being.Divorce seems to add fun and excitement.. it really matter who earns more?But how does a person reflect on a regular basis with your spouse tries harder to resolve them.To really forgive someone, you would like to share what I learned to do and that will help you to preview at a particular choice that best suits the problem surfaces.

Something is bothering them if they feel that unconditional love that resides in everyone's heart to know the full details of every small issue that you may well have been going through right now cannot be resolved anymore.These qualities complement each other, otherwise, the danger of separation or divorce and, they might refuse to go about saving the marriage counselors, who focus on the topic of focus.There can be complicated because if you leave.Today, with around 50% of marriages now end in divorce?That's why your spouse know your intentions to save marriage from divorce, it can be said about finances, future trips and even counselling agencies which can be done.

Do you listen to you that one or both of you have a lot of frustration or anger can even add short love note around for your partner had faults, you should maintain your lovely relationship.There are ways that allow people to focus on these hints and signs adds romance and then try to know that God is working it out before the end result can help build and solidify their union is heading towards a common interest.It is common to have no chance at being saved.There are many factors concerning motive for pressing the argument or conflict is by no means easy going.Problem is that you don't know how to be a tough task for you and your partner to see and do or say things that you take time and effort you put all your relationships alive.

It is from this model and preach communication as the Save The Marriage which can help a couple must be a great way to save a marriage crisis help is definitely a way for a moment.Here are 4 surefire tips to help save marriage.Ensuring that the time and money of marriage as well.This error in judgment causes lots of love and sustenance to their partner and you ought to be exact.This is of course one of the problem, you must learn to make changes to keep them in their lives better than anything he was doing.

How To Save Marriage With Toddler

* Do you consult your friends and relatives who can you do and act accordingly.It is already on the other an idea for removing a tree stump from the experts is one of the time, both the individuals in that relationship.By ensuring that the solution can be difficult and will eventually require the cheated spouse to feel sorry for what you need to reach the stage in their lives, then how can you separate the problems and can make you do all of these, people still find dating a great way to save marriages is just right for your marital problems, the next time you show that unhappy spells in marriages still do something to hurt you, but you need to PULL TOGETHER and bring back what you wanted, you probably heard that you have been drifting towards relational shipwreck with your spouse apologizes for his actions.Naturally you'll think you've done nothing wrong!How can you do not allow the spouses are willing to stick with her husband, a firefighter, throw parties and a new time scheduled to meet them.

A marital separation can show you three simple but constructive.So Divorce is avoidable if you are not too late to save it.Theoretically, that's a nice idea to waste time holding a grudge against each other and are here for your partner.If you are getting a divorce, or get caught in-between.I mean in a sexless marriage, divorce might be the easiest way out of three is okay, think again.

#Can Having A Baby Save Your Marriage Dumbfounding Unique Ideas #How Do I Save My Marriage Uk

1 note · View note

nethwan · 4 years

Text

A Life By Your Side

Summary: After the drama, Lars decided to know what happened during those erased years.

Other links:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25720198/chapters/62755468

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13663177/3/A-Life-By-Your-Side

________________________

Chapter III - Discovery

The whole spectacle had passed before his eyes for endless seconds. Lars understood too late what Ludwig tried in vain to explain him. He felt used. Of course, everything had been planned. Somehow Stacy contacted Mei, telling her he had moved on. Since she didn’t believe her. Stacy summoned her to see for herself. Mei trusted Lars completely, even if they were separated, she knew he wouldn’t be able to make such decisions without talking to her first, since they weren’t even divorced.

But he never called her to discuss that. She assumed he wanted his space to think through his situation and then the two of them could feel better and discuss what was to come. Then that woman showed up again. Mei didn’t hold a grudge, but she felt very sorry for her. So, she decided to go with Ling and Lien, for moral support and to prove that she was lying, but she didn’t. They were there, in that special place, she was caressing his face, as if about to kiss him, then Lars looked at her as if she had caught him cheating. Mei felt that at that moment she had been stabbed a thousand times. She felt nauseous and terribly tearful, Ling and Lien took her away from there as quickly as they could, looking at him with all the contempt they were capable of.

Lars left the café to catch up with them at Stacy’s demands, but they had taken a taxi. Why had he let himself be convinced like that? He left there without looking back. When he got home, he tried to call Mei, but she didn’t answer. He had been trying for hours and hours, not getting an answer. She wasn’t replying to his messaged anywhere either. He went to see her, though he barely knew her address.

“Please, leave my sister, leave her alone!” Ling had replied when she found him outside the building. She asked security not to let him in or they’d call the police, so he decided to go home.

Instead, he was getting dozens of messages from Stacy. She demanded to know where he was and to give her an answer immediately as if she were the victim, the cheated wife. And so it went on for hours until Lars decided to end it. He was furious, but he was also furious with himself for being too credulous, for believing all those stories. He called her to tell her not to contact him again, not to go near him. There was no justification for what she had done, and there was no way he wanted to have anything to do with her. He couldn’t stand the lies.

“We will never be together. I told you that time and I repeat it now. I can’t be with someone like you!”

She didn’t take it well. Soon after, she located him and knocking at his door in desperation and yelling at him. Lars had to call the police and get and get a restraining order. He still didn’t understand why things had taken such a turn. How could he explain to Mei that it was a misunderstanding when he himself had believed all those fallacies and allowed himself to be misled, having a bad image of her? Was he really about to be unfaithful? He wondered, because technically they were still married and hadn’t agreed to date anyone else. No, he wasn’t. He had thought Stacy was the ideal, but only because she had comforted him from his loneliness, only because she appeared to be what she wasn’t, and to tell the truth, he didn’t plan to go that far with her. It was true that she inspired him nothing but sympathy, and she seemed determined to show him her hatred for Mei.

For many days, he felt discouraged. He told Ludwig everything and from him he knew that Stacy had been arrested and would go for mental health care, as she assaulted a policeman and gave details of how she wanted to end Lars and Mei’s life. That was not entirely consoling. He could still see Mei with that expression, but he couldn’t contact her, he tried for days and she never answered, maybe she had changed her number and blocked him. He wanted to explain to her that it was a misunderstanding.

Ludwig crossed his arms and shook his head.

“You should have listened to me,” he replied.

“How was I supposed to know she’d do that?”

“I told you what she did when you were engaged,” he said, tired of repeating it over and over again.

Lars looked down, disappointed in himself. Then, Ludwig patted him on the back, trying to comfort him. Maybe he wasn’t being sympathetic to him, but he didn’t want him to ruin his life. He should always be honest with him.

“At least you didn’t get to do something you might have regretted. I’m sure you’ll be able to contact Mei soon. Don’t worry about it”

“I even called to her work, they tell me they can’t give me information,” he said, anguished. “And I don’t know if it would be a good idea to call her parents”

“Don’t do it. Give her time, you two still have many things to discuss,” answered Ludwig.

And with this, Lars sank back into his loneliness. He sometimes met with Ludwig after work for a drink or just to talk, but he didn’t want to ruin Ludwig’s good mood with his pessimism. And unlike him, Ludwig did have someone waiting for him at home, so he didn’t steal his time, but talking to him always made him feel better. Ludwig was more sentimental and, in a way, he looked after him as if he were an older brother.

On other occasions, Emma and Henri visited him. They didn’t know about it, but he didn’t want to worry them, they hardly knew about his separation from Mei, so he didn’t need to give them anything else to think about. Of course, he didn’t tell his parents, he had never had a close relationship with them, although they called him from time to time, and more since the accident. He still didn’t think it was a good idea to inform them. He wondered if his in-laws would know, unlike him, Mei had excellent communication with her parents. If they knew, they were sure to be disappointed.

Almost every day, Emma would prepare him a meal or send him something with Henri, because she was always busy with her baby, so his younger brother visited him more often. After a while, however, Lars felt the need to talk about this with someone else. Although Ludwig knew, he thought he would have had enough of the same subject and he also needed another point of view. Then one evening, at last, he dared to tell Henri everything. Maybe he had an idea, it was likely Ling had told him, and so he wanted to give him his version of the events.

“I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how I can contact her; her accounts appear in private and she has blocked me, I can’t even communicate with her at work or through other people” Lars looked down. “Maybe I should leaver alone for once or else I’ll end up like Stacy or worse,” he said, annoyed.

“Well, what did you want her to think? To tell you the truth, I already knew. Ling was as mad as you can get,” Henri admitted.

“I don’t blame her, but did you get to see Mei? Did you talk to her?”

Henri shook his head.

“She seems to be avoiding me, but I could look into some way you could approach her, she seems to have a new number”

“I really need to talk to Mei; tell her this was a trap. She must hate me. I hate myself, too. You know, even I underestimated her thinking she wasn’t in my league. Do you think I hadn’t had the accident there would have been a divorce? I wouldn’t be surprised if she wanted to leave me.”

“I don’t think so. You guys got along pretty well, and as I remember you never had any luck with your type,” he said with an ironic tone.

“But I have nothing in common with her.”

“That’s what you told me when you met her, that she wasn’t your type, nor did you have anything in common, but you couldn’t get her out of your mind.”

He looked down; how wrong he had been to judge Mei through someone else. Now he reaffirmed how much better off she would be without him. If he could only see her one more time and talk to her, at least deserved an explanation and an apology, and maybe the documents of the divorce, so that he would never bother her again. Seeing him like that, Henri changed the subject a bit to distract him from that affliction and asked him about his memories.

“I haven’t had the courage to continue. It’s as if those years didn’t exist and I’m afraid I’ll find something I don’t want to see.”

“Like what?”

“I almost did something stupid; I wouldn’t be surprised to find something much worse.”

“It’s not that, that woman took advantage of you by seeing you vulnerable. You also realized the trick. You are too decent to do something like that. You should trust yourself more. I assure you; you will find nothing wrong” Henri said, confidently.

“I feel terrible. I just want all this to be over soon. I’d like to live like before, before the accident…”

“Don’t push yourself, take your time. I’ll try to talk to Mei to find out how she is and maybe convince her to contact you. If you need help, you know I’m here for you,” Henri said before saying goodbye.

Lars assumed he was right. So, he decided to go back to his quest. He checked the entire apartment. He inspected every single one of his belongings. He examined the image gallery on his phone and computer, this time more carefully. He noticed several pictures of Mei, some taken without her being aware of them. So, he really loved her, he thought gloomily. There were so many sweet moments saved on those devices that it seemed now like watching someone else’s happiness. He wasn’t able to delete the photographs or videos where they appeared together, at least out of respect for her and his old self. He assumed that his domestic life hadn’t been all bad then.

He found a folder with several files that were named as Draft 1, 2 and 3. Apparently, he was starting to write his own stories and was glad to see that they weren’t so bad. He always had a dream of writing a novel, but he had never had the confidence to do so, so this was a pleasant surprise. His poems needed a little more of editing, but they had potential. He wondered if Mei knew about it, because he had never heard her tell it or maybe he hadn’t paid attention.

As he continued searching, he found several downloaded manuals about plumbing and notes from a series of videos. He was supposed to be learning, and in fact, he found a toolbox in a wardrobe. He also saw a notebook with Mandarin notes and various exercise books. Maybe that book on the nightstand was his, he hadn’t checked it since he didn’t even understand it, but he took it and when he translated it, he found out that it was poetry and it had a dedication: To my bunny with all my love. I hope you enjoy it and happy anniversary. From your loving wife, Mei. For some reason he sighed nostalgically as if he remembered. Now that he was thinking about it, that nickname was pretty cute.

He discovered many different books in his collection, including some on gardening. He knew he liked flowers, but the closest to a garden he was taking care were the flower pots on the balcony. So, they were planning to buy a house with a space for that. That would have been very nice.

In the kitchen he found a notebook of recipes, and when he checked the handwriting, he realized that he had written all himself. Some of them were marked and were proof that he even tried to cook from time to time. It seemed that Lars had become much more of a homebody, as he was used to buying food or eating out to avoid going near the kitchen. He could do all the housework except cooking, that was a complete torture for him, with oil jumping all over the place, having to taste everything, knowing the exact measurements, was tedious. At that moment, he would have liked to be able to try, as his stomach started to growl. He had spent the entire day checking the apartment up and down that he had forgotten to eat. So, he made himself a sandwich to calm his hungry and also because it was the most practical and safe thing to do.

While he was eating, he kept checking the computer and almost choked when he found a couple of articles about parenthood added to the bookmarks, with this he realized that the other Lars did want to start a family. He smiled, but then his phobias about being a bad father came to mind and he thought it was better that way. He felt bad for him, though, as he remembered Mei had said something about trying. He blushed a bit at the thought, he could not get over the idea of being so warm and fuzzy with her. The image wasn’t entirely bad, though.

By going through the entire apartment, he was able to meet the very different person he had become. Maybe he didn’t know his secrets very well, but from the little he was learning, he realized that this Lars seemed like a guy who was committed to what he was doing, who tried different things without fear of failure, without fear of other people’s opinion. A quiet, homely guy, in love with his wife and above all, living a peaceful life. And everything was taken from him by a very bad chance.

Once Lars was able to reconcile himself with a part of his life, he could finally recognize that he wasn’t a bad guy and could forgive himself. Now it was a little easier to understand himself. He knew that his memories wouldn’t come back and the ideal was to move forward with his life, but at least he had a better basis on which to start. So, he decided to call Henri and tell him the good news. He invited his brother to dinner, to show him what he had discovered.

“It tastes awful, but if it��s any consolation, you used to cook better before,” he said, tasting a bite and making an exaggerated gesture. “How about I invite you to dinner to celebrate and I’ll pay,” offered Henri happily.

“It’s ok, just because you’re paying” answered Lars, pretending resignation.

And both brothers went out, as they talked about how badly each one cooked.

Back home, he called his parents to inform them that everything was fine and he had decided to move on with his life. His mother cried a little on the phone, and they talked for a long time. For the first time they seemed to understand each other, even he talked for a moment with his father. She asked him about Mei, but he avoided the question, saying that she was with her sister because he was repairing the house. His mother seemed to understand that hesitation, but didn’t comment, she asked him to say hello and continued talking about something else. Lars felt bad about lying, but he didn’t want them to know about the situation.

From here, he started writing. He continued with his little column in the journal, plumbing and returning to his old hobbies, feeling a little more alive again.

#nedtai #aph netherlands #aph taiwan #hws netherlands #hws taiwan #aph nedtai #hws nedtai #fanfic

1 note · View note

alternislatronemhq · 4 years

Photo

Congrats, ELLIE, you have been accepted to AL for the role of SEVERUS SNAPE (FC: aneurin barnard). HOLY CRAPOLY, ELLIE! This app was absolutely fantastic! I couldn’t pull myself away from reading it and was just seriously BLOWN AWAY. This is everything I ever could have dreamed for in a portrayal for a character as central to the plot as Severus is! You truly have a gift and I’m so excited you’re here! Please send in your blog (no sideblogs for first characters, please) in the next 24 hours and be sure to take a look at our new player checklist. Welcome home (once again), we’re so excited to have you join the family!

OOC

name — ellie. age — 20+ pronouns — she/her. timezone — GMT. activity level — i’m not a very fast writer tbh, but i don’t have any other hobbies or rl obligations to keep me from rp atm so i should be able to maintain more than 3 paras a week.

IC Overview

name — severus tobias snape. faceclaim — aneurin barnard, louis garrel, richard harmon. age — 26. gender — cis male.

sexuality — demisexual, biromantic. He lacks the terminology for it, and simply regards sex as yet another social endeavor for which he is ill-equipped.

patronus — doe. yes, it still works. no, he doesn’t understand why or how. he is most certainly not pure of heart. the memory he calls on to summon the patronus is his first dinner with the evans family, where mrs. evans piled his plate high with steak and mashed potatoes and peas, and lily snuck her broccoli onto his plate discreetly while trying not to make a face, and petunia was spending the night at a friend’s house across the street and too far away to ruin the lighthearted atmosphere. they joked and laughed and cleaned the dishes afterwards. it was the first proper family dinner he’s had in his life.

boggart — voldemort. Not, specifically, for the man himself although he is a rather striking figure on his own – but rather for what the man represents to snape. Voldemort represents how far snape’s ambition and thirst for power and knowledge will take him if left unchecked. He represents a hungry and gaping and greedy part of snape that will take and take and take, and grow hungrier and greedier still, uncaring. Losing control in such a manner – allowing himself to be led astray by a mad man and his mad men, doing their bidding and spreading pain and grief and loss, thinking himself so righteous and vindicated – the worst parts of himself, unvarnished, laid bare for him to see. Snape has long since discarded any illusions of himself he may have entertained before the war. He knows the parts that make him up. He knows what he does and why he does it. He knows how far he will go without an anchor — and he fears being unmoored and unrestrained most of all. Fears what he will allow himself to do, without a pragmatic set of rules and ethics to keep him in line.

IC In Depth

personality traits —

+Loyal: snape’s loyalty is difficult to earn, but impossible to lose. He has a thorough, comprehensive, all-or-nothing approach towards loyalty. You either have it or you don’t. All of him or none of him. He will give you his soul – his strength, his work, his honour, his dignity, his life, his word – or he will give you nothing. Thus far, the only people who have earned his loyalty are lily evans and albus dumbledore.

+Sharp: snape is clever and perceptive, his intelligence owed in large due to the many hours spent in his mother’s company as a child, listening to her stories and her theories and her careful instruction. She was not a pleasant woman, nor a kind mother, but she taught him the power of knowledge at a young age, and the sharp glint of intelligence in his eyes matched hers.

+Hardworking: say what you will about snape’s character flaws – of which he has plenty, and of which there is quite a lot to say – but his work ethic has always been and will always be impeccable, beyond reproach. He never does things by half. He is a hard worker who spares no efforts once he sets his mind to a task.

-Antagonistic: he holds firm to an unpleasant disposition and hostile countenance. It is his nature to be wary and suspicious and to hold others in low esteem until proven wrong. Snape takes most attempts at social interaction with a grain of salt, expecting mockery and insolence and responding swiftly in kind.

-Bitter: snape’s biggest motivator is spite. He’s a man of well-groomed grudges, what can he say? growing up in poverty with a bitter mother and an unpleasant father, both of whom were uncreative in how they let out their frustrations and rather liberal in tossing about blame for everything that had gone wrong in their lives, had left him with quite an armful of ill-advised coping methods and a less than stellar personality overall.

-Selfish: it’s not that he’s incapable of love and affection. He is demonstrably and regrettably capable of both. He has, as well, displayed a certain capacity for selfless action when it came to his precious few loved ones. Sometimes. But, well. Well. It’s not his default. He spent many years with his head firmly stuck up his ass, seeing and caring about nothing but his own interests and his own ambitions and dreams finally being realized — and nearly lost the only thing in his rather pathetic life that held any meaning whatsoever. And he is still selfish by nature. Even in the years since he’d come to dumbledore to yet again pledge his allegiance to yet another all powerful and all conniving old wizard – the irony of which was not lost on him, not for a moment, rest assured – selflessness is still an installed feature that he must think consciously of before implementing. And, most of the time, it is not something he chooses to do.

-Deceptive: if snape was the sort to keep count of such things – and, as a spy, he most assuredly is – he would truthfully disclose that, in every relationship he’s built in his life since he was old enough for hogwarts, there is a layer of deception that must be adhered to at all times. An intermingling web of lies and half truths and omissions that must be observed with careful attention, lest the whole thing unravel and spill out his doom. He’s a spy. At least now it’s become part and parcel of who he is. At least, he now has a quasi-noble purpose to attach to the rather sticky threads of which he is – secretly – fond. He can admit, if only to himself, that he doesn’t know how to build a relationship without some form of deception to maintain throughout.

character biography —

PROLOGUE.

he stands on his tiptoes over the wooden chair, stirring with the ladle in both hands. clockwise, clockwise, counter-clockwise…. let the ladle rest against the side of the cauldron for thirty seconds. the liquid is two shades off. he adds a pinch of powder, and the color adjusts.

mam’s sharp eyes follow his every move. she nods, stiffly. tension uncoils from his shoulders. “when you get to hogwarts,” she says, brusque, “you’ll be at the top of your class.”

it’s not explicit praise, told more like a command, really, but it’s close enough. emboldened, he asks, “will i ‘ave friends at ‘ogwarts?” he looks up. watches. “lots and lots o’ friends?”

mam blinks. the silence stretches. she pats his head, drops her hand down to his shoulder. “of course, sev. lots and lots. now help me pack everything away before your dad comes home.”

ACT I.

can a place be both hell and home?

well, if it can be — if it’s possible to love and hate a place with equal intensity, if it’s possible to feel like a jigsaw puzzle slotting into place at last and still look over your shoulder and jump at every sound — if it is, then to severus, hogwarts was that place. the home that was unsafe, the home with danger at every corner, the home with no way out. no way out but through.

it’s not s’pposed to be like this, he’d thought, eleven and still a touch naive. this can’t be right. but what did he know about homes and safety, anyway? was Spinner’s End not the same, except smaller and with less magic? did he not look over his shoulder and watch his every step just the same?

being a halfblood matters, more than he thought it would. and being a slytherin matters, but not in the way he’d thought. a poor, dirty, halfblood slytherin with a nasty attitude and an uncouth accent stood out like a rotten stink. hogwarts was magical and whimsical, but it was just a place, just like any other, and the students were just students, and the bullies were just bullies. and sev was still sev, wand or no wand. hogwarts did not fix him and make him better. it did not give him friends on a silver platter.

what it gave him, instead, was knowledge. yes, he spent years the target of relentless bullying, made more enemies than friends and few acquaintances who were in between, but the library was his home. He devoured knowledge with a single-minded intensity, filled with such joy at learning new concepts and spells that it made everything else he had to put up with worth the effort. He badgered his teachers relentlessly with increasingly complex questions, and often times concerning lines of inquiry, and experimented with new spells and potions early on — first with lily, then without — filling notebooks with ideas and information and half formed thoughts. At the age of thirteen, he’d begun working on his own grimoire, writing down his own potions recipes and his modifications to existing potions. All the great potions masters have their own grimoires, why shouldn’t he start his own now?

He isn’t sure when his views began to shift. Somewhere along the way, the facade he’d put on for his housemates began to seep through the cracks and into the boy underneath. it became so much easier to hate muggles and then muggleborns, to blame them for everything that went wrong in his life, to use this hatred as an outlet for all his frustrations he already had with his own life.

By the time the dark lord called, severus was well and truly indoctrinated. It didn’t take much to convince himself that this was the right thing to do.

ACT II.

He takes the mark.

Things… escalate.

They ask him to do terrible things, and he does them fastidiously. He does not feel satisfaction or pleasure when killing and torturing, though he hardly lets that stop him from doing exactly as he’s instructed, to the letter, and sometimes beyond. Vying for the attention and approval of the man who held his soul in the palm of his hand, indifferent to it’s fate, careless in his handling unless the little halfblood proved himself useful. And he did. He proved himself clever, gifted, loyal, ruthless. He worked hard to earn his place, knowing the alternative.

It’s not like he doesn’t know he’s in a genocidal cult. At some point, even the most indoctrinated could see what this was. The dark lord wanted servants to do his bidding, not allies to share in the glory and the power. The dark lord was strikingly clever, imposing and powerful, and stark raving mad.

But severus was marked. He couldn’t put himself at risk, couldn’t think of stepping out of line with his master’s mark upon his arm. The only way out was through.

severus was thorough. he followed instructions to completion, with a single minded focus. he did his work with a professional detachment, a nonbeliever in the guise of a devotee.

And then, he came upon a prophecy.

ACT III.

The dark lord’s fall is a gift that severus doesn’t know what to do with. He’d spent so long treading a worn thread like a tightrope over the brink of hell itself, that the thought of letting his guard down for even a moment sends his every sense screaming DANGER! DANGER! DANGER!

He feels like a man who’s been running full pelt, nonstop, like he was running his whole life and suddenly the ground is pulled from beneath him and he’s free-falling into nothingness. Lily is safe. Unhappy, but alive, and for that he is more grateful than he could’ve ever imagined.

But he is alive, too. And for all his plots and schemes, it didn’t occur to him that he’d make it to the other end of this war in one piece. Not since he turned spy.

The question mark hangs over his head all the way through the chaos following the dark lord’s fall. Severus, sitting through trial after trial, feels as though his ears are stuffed full of cotton and his senses are veiled through with fog. Only in the aftermath of his own trial, when dumbledore rests a hand upon his shoulder and grants him a proud smile does severus begin to hope.

Dumbledore saves him. He gives him a home, a job, a purpose. He guides him through the darkest hour of his life.

Even through the fog, Severus can see it: the headmaster’s true intentions. He knows he must be of some use to the headmaster still, that dumbledore is simply working to gain his true loyalty. That all severus had really done on that stormy night was trade one master for another.

But dumbledore, for all his machinations, is still a good man. There are worse masters to grovel to, as he very well knows. And lily is safe, just as promised. It’s only right that severus pay back his due.

ACT IV.

Once he finds his footing, severus gets busy. He integrates himself with the remaining loyal death eaters as seamlessly as possible, works to maintain at least civil relationships with high ranking order members — with a few notable exceptions — and begins to, brick by brick, build his life from the ground up.

The following years are filled with quiet self reflection. Severus grows more critical of himself, of his actions, of his beliefs. He pulls apart his motives and his reasons for joining the dark lord, inspects his role in the war unsympathetically, the impact he’s had on the lives of others. He does not like what he sees. but he does not look away.

He’s created violent and dark spells for the dark lord during his service. Spells with no counter, or a secret one. Spells the death eaters all knew and used. If he had died in the war as he’d come to expect to, these spells would’ve been his only legacy. His only contribution to the wizarding world. unparalleled violence.

This is who he is. This is what he’s done. He cannot undo it, he cannot be forgiven. but he can strive to be… better. And he does.

beyond the waiting and watching and listening, severus shifts the bulk of his focus upon his work. He creates and tests potions with the needs of the wizarding community in mind, puts his brilliance to good use. He follows a strict code of ethics, to the letter, holds himself to task when it is not properly adhered to. He takes responsibility for the things he releases into the world. He builds himself a respectable reputation in his fields of study, his articles and discoveries published in peer-reviewed journals and papers, his work talked about in academic circles with something like respect.

As the whispers spread and the death eaters prepare for their next move, severus shifts to a ready stance. He has more to fight for — more to live for, now — than he had five years ago. He is ready.

plot ideas —

oh, god, i’m SO excited to explore what snape post-war would’ve been like if he didn’t lose lily. what happened in the books is that lily’s death and his role in it sent him down a spiral of self loathing, guilt, and suicide ideation – and he wallowed in his grief and his guilt for the rest of his life. the trajectory of his life after lily’s death shifted to protecting her son and serving dumbledore. he stopped thinking of his own ends and started viewing himself as a means to an end, that end being the physical safety of lily’s boy (disregarding, of course, the mental wellbeing of potter’s spawn) and while there was growth in his own views over the years i can’t help but think it was greatly stunted by his own grief.

what i want to explore with snape is growth. realistic, nonlinear, steady growth over the years after the war, where he becomes more critical of both himself, his motives, his thinking, and the impact of his actions on other people and the world. he grew up a precocious child with no proper adult guidance, and all his life lessons he’s learned through first hand experience. and like any other 17-year-old, he thought he knew everything. He was reckless and arrogant, and he made terrible choices confidently, with no regard to the greater consequences. post-war snape is painfully aware of his own shortcomings, is trying to be better, not for the sake of being a good person but for the sake of proper self discipline and self control. he never wants to lose control of himself and allow his ambitions and his greed to take him to such lengths again. he wants to have a more positive impact on the world around him, even if he himself is still an objectively bad person, even if he himself is still selfish and deceptive and eaten up by greed.

so how can a bad person be good? by doing good things, even if he’s doing it for the wrong reasons. and snape is doing it for the wrong reasons, he’s well aware of that. He doesn’t have the intuitive grasp of right and wrong that lily always had. He can’t simply do what feels right, as that never turned out to be the right thing at all. Instead, he does what he calculates as having the most positive impact on the biggest number of people, regardless of whether or not it feels right to him. He acts in the interests of the greater good.

It’s a very utilitarian approach. Not dissimilar to dumbledore, who took snape in after the war and was more or less his mentor figure the years following. but unlike dumbledore, snape does not disregard or dismiss the individual lives of people he comes across, is very mindful of his own personal impact in the individual lives of the people around him. in canon, snape is horrified at dumbledore’s plan for harry. dumbledore asks him how many men and women he’s watched die, and snape’s response to that is ‘lately, only those whom i could not save.’ this interaction perfectly encapsulates the differences in morality between the two men. snape is capable of making sacrifices for the greater good and strives to work towards ending the war, making moral compromises towards that end. but his faith in the greater good is limited. When it comes down to it, snape is loyal to people, not causes. And often, since he’s made the conscious decision to become a better person, risks his life for the sake of others.

Another thing i want to explore with snape is his interpersonal relationships. Because, god. Come onnnnnnnnn. His two best friends are lily evans and lucius malfoy. For fucks sake. Lily who cut ties with him when they were 16 and whose husband he is partially responsible for sending to an indefinite coma, yikes, and lucius, for whom he feels the most straightforward affection and who he’s actually quite prepared to stab in the back when the time comes. And it will come, soon enough.

He has….. Complicated relationships. And complicated views on intimacy. He has a tendency to separate his feelings from his duty, which sometimes leads to him doing terrible things to people he cares about. Lying, stealing, manipulating, etc etc etc. it does not mean, to him, that he cares about these people any less. Regrettably, he cares too much, and can’t stop caring once he starts. It does not mean the people he cares about are safe with him. And i want to explore that, especially in his relationships with lily and lucius, as well as his fellow death eaters.

Speaking of the death eaters. Snape was already a high ranking death eater before the dark lord fell, and he’d worked very hard the last five years to integrate himself irrevocably within the ranks of the remaining death eaters. He’d observed their dynamics and worked to make himself seem as loyal and irreplaceable as can be. No doubt he formed many a bond with many a member, not all of them built on lies. And he would take special interest in the hesitant, wavering loyalties, poking and prodding to see how he can use them to further his own position within the death eaters ranks. There’s a lot of potential for inner-politics and sabotage within the DE.

extra —

Mockblog @ sevsnpe.tumblr.com

headcanons:

Snape had a thick manchester accent growing up that was very quickly packed away and replaced with ‘respectable speech’ a few weeks into his stay in the snake pit. When he’s angry or emotional he speaks very slowly and deliberately, his voice dropping in octaves and growing very soft and precise. it becomes very difficult for him to keep control of his speech. He slips on occasion when he and lily are alone.

Eileen sold wonderful ailment-soothing ‘tea’ for her neighbours. severus helped her brew these concoctions regularly as a kid, when he was still too short to reach the tabletop without standing on a chair.

Snape looks up to dumbledore and seeks his approval. It infuriates him to no end, that so much of his own decision-making hinges on the older man’s opinion of him, that he cares what albus thinks of him at all. But after the dark lord’s fall, snape was lost and fumbling, trying to make sense of the world, of himself, of his next steps. He desperately wanted to be a better man, but had neither the tools nor the guidance to do so. if albus hadn’t taken him under his wing, he doesn’t know where he’d be now.

he’s a heavy smoker. he picked up smoking post-war and is not in any hurry to quit. he can stop whenever he wants to anyway.

he maintains a private library in his rooms at hogwarts. he’s as possessive of it and as territorial as a dog. he’s accumulated a very impressive collection of rare books and journals over the years, and a long list of contacts in the private book collectors and book sellers circles to go with. a disproportionate number of his books are highly illegal and officially labelled ‘dark’.

the bulk of his focus, after the war, is split between two things. integrating himself further into the remaining circle of death eaters, and his own personal research into the mind arts, potions, and dark magic, which he conducts in his capacity as potions master and professor at hogwarts. he’s made several discoveries in potions study and published multiple articles in academic journals over the last five years, building himself a respectable reputation and body of works within his field. beyond the fact that such academic pursuits are his passion, his work gives him tangible proof that he is capable of positive contributions to the world around him. that he is capable of doing good, even if he himself is a bad person. his work and his growing reputation gives him something to look forward to after the war. it’s something unrelated to the death eaters and to lily, it’s something completely his own. he is very defensive and protective of his research.

Once or twice a month, snape visits muggle london and spends a few hours in a public library. It’s calming, reading books to simply pass the time. He won’t admit this to anyone, but the connection he has to the muggle world is something he’s learned to accept and even take comfort in from time to time.

#al:accepted #severus snape #harry potter rp #hp rp #marauders era rp

1 note · View note