#& i’ll probably put a censored one here if i can get away with it lmao

[katasstrophy]

I feel like I've seen every Bluelock boy paired with a very cute, very bubbly, and chill gf/reader before, but I haven't seen any of them paired with a cool and competent or even bossier type. Are there any guys you think of liking that type??? Or maybe just deserve that type to be kept in line lmao 🤣

nonnie!! 😳 NONNIE UR BRAIN I’M GIVING IT A THOUSAND KISSES UR SOOO RIGHT FOR THIS!!! i guess it doesn’t really show with the fics i’ve uploaded so far – which is a damn shame, i should fix that – but i am absolutely all for readers who are just… out there, ya know? they’re prickly, or easy to anger, or sardonic as all hell, or way too clever for their own good or yes yes, bossy<3 i eat that shit UP like it’s my last meal. this is not to say i don’t enjoy sweet, bubbly readers (bc i do!) but the type you describe just… scratches a certain itch iykwim 👁️👁️

i think one of my first posts ever about blue lock on this blog (cw. mid writing LMAO) was exactly about this. obviously most of the blue lock guys are only extreme egoists when they’re playing soccer, but i do think that aspect of their lives will ultimately start to bleed into their personality as they grow up/go pro. so having someone who’s just like “yeah that’s great and all but if you won’t make it to date night i’ll leave your sorry ass” is just. so sexy to them like?? they haven’t gotten their ego knocked down a peg in a while so i think they’d be drawn to a partner like that askdhxnbz idk if i’m explaining this very well but as far as i’m concerned all blue lock boys deserve an unhinged reader lol 😤

THAT BEING SAID!!! >:))) i have a top three list of blue lock men who i, personally, would love to put in their place and encourage anyone out there to do so as well LOL

1. MICHAEL KAISER — this cocky motherfucker ugh need i say more 🙄 the urge to censor his name was real strong but i persevered still cannot believe i’m (sadly) attracted to this horrible, horrible man. he’s sooo insufferable and just so obsessed with himself like he unironically refers to himself as the emperor when i tell you there’s nothing i want more than to make this man beg on his knees i mean it – what a pretty sight that would be hm? <3 all his past lovers probably treated him like he was god’s greatest gift to women (HE IS NOT) – and by now he’s not only used to it but comes to expect it – so when he meets you and you’re like “mm you’re kind of a prick leave me alone thenk yew✨✨” he’s just. so scandalized LMFAO suddenly he’s the one chasing after you and vying for a shred of your attention oooohh yes that’s exactly what he deserves how it should be

2. ITOSHI SAE — listen he might be my precious babygirl now but i used to hate this mans guts like no other and that little resentment still lives on in my heart in the form of wanting this man’s downfall to be a woman like don’t tell me that’s not the hottest thing you’ve ever heard. he’s just so single-mindedly focused on soccer – japan’s treasure and what not – and thinks he can get away with being an asshole because of it but you place down your foot and tell him to cut the bullshit or you’ll find someone who treats you better (AMEN SISTER) and suddenly he’s grappling with the reality that shit he might just fall apart without you yes girl make him suffer

3. OLIVER AIKU — i couldn’t not include the resident fuckboy here mmmm the possibilities for him are endless and each one more delicious than the last. he might not be as insufferable as the others but he still thinks extremely highly of himself, especially when it comes to his way with the ladies. typical “oh no i don’t do relationships” kinda guy who can show you a good time for a night before dipping in the morning – and you just don’t want that. so you reject his advances, say you’re not interested and move on, but for some reason, oliver can’t. literally physically wounds his pride when he crawls back for a second chance but you don’t budge, still wary of him due to his past behavior unless he can show you otherwise. and the way he scrambles to prove himself as trustworthy to you? god tier groveling from a man YUMM

#—ping! new message from (anon) #AKSHHDJD THIS GOT SO LONG AND RAMBLY AGAIN SORRY!! #but you have a fat juicy brain on you nonnie #idk if this is exactly what you wanted but these are the thoughts that jumped out so hope that’s okay!! <3 #blue lock x reader #—bllk.thoughts!

[handsmotif]

The Queercoding of Pinky and the Brain

This originally was just me infodumping to my friends on discord, but I decided it might be interesting to some people on here, so I polished it up and made it an actual essay lmao

To start, we’re going to break this into 2 sections -- the relationship between the mice, and Pinky’s relationship with gender, because queercoding doesn’t just mean gay!

For a 90′s show, Pinky and the Brain (and its mother show, Animaniacs) was very progressive for its time! But there were still lots of things that they couldn’t slip by censors, and thus, that’s where we have to read between the lines. And that is something I wanted to clarify here before we dive in, the actual meaning of queercoding. It’s NOT the same as queerbaiting. Queerbaiting is when the people producing certain media purposefully dangle the possibility of queer representation to lure in audiences (most prominent examples are BBC Sherlock, Riverdale, and Supernatural I GUESS? who knows abt that last one anymore), but never follow through, purely for profit. Queercoding is when media producers WANT to write in queer representation, but can’t, usually because the censors won’t let them. So, they must resort to subtext. (example: the policemen from Gravity Falls) It could also be unintentional, simply assigning certain characteristics associated with the LGBT community to characters. (example: Bugs Bunny, many Disney villains) Either way, it heavily relies on the audience picking up subtext, but whether it’s malicious or not varies, depending on the media. Bugs Bunny is an example of positive accidental queercoding, while a lot of Disney villains are negative examples.

Now, to actually discuss the gay little mice! Pinky and the Brain, whether it be intentional or not (based off comments from Maurice LaMarche, Rob Paulsen, and Tom Ruegger, signs strongly point to intentional, but it’s never been explicitly confirmed), is an example of positive queercoding.

There are many moments that I could pick out to discuss here, but we’ll start with some VERY on the nose gay metaphors. 

Remember Romy? If you don’t, that’s their actual biological son! Romy came about due to a cloning accident, where their DNA got combined and spat him out. 

There’s SO many things I could say about Romy. Every appearance he makes has an overarching gay metaphor as the plot. His first appearance in the episode Brinky (yeah it’s literally titled their ship name), it deals with his dads (WHICH I ALSO WANT TO POINT OUT, he DOES call them both dad, and they do both call him their son) disapproving of the fact that he wants to leave home and not follow in their footsteps of taking over the world. Brain even goes as far as disowning him whenever he tells him, which is certainly something a lot of queer people can unfortunately relate to. Also seen a lot in this episode is Pinky and Brain arguing even more than a married couple than usual, which pushes Romy away even further. Later, when Romy eventually does leave, and Brain starts to regret chasing him away, he tries desperately to reach out to him, but Romy doesn’t want anything to do with him. They end up tracking him down to an apartment building, where Romy is now living with his human girlfriend. When questioned about their relationship, the girlfriend, named Bunny, goes off on a tangent about how people shouldn’t judge others based on labels or relationships (hello?), and that Brain needs to be more tolerant. Brain apologizes and Romy forgives him. Happy ending.

Romy’s only other appearance is in the comics. Essentially, the plot of this one is that Brain wants to become the president of the local high school’s PTA, but he needs Romy’s help to make it look like he has a normal home life. He also enlists the help of Billie, the obligatory Woman introduced to make sure Brain doesn’t look as gay as he actually is, that he has a crush on. She pretends to be his girlfriend, and Pinky pretends to be Romy’s uncle, while they make up the story that Romy’s actual mother was lost at sea. Because if the organization found out that Brain has a son with a MAN??? THINK of the controversy! Anyway, the plan works, and Brain actually manages to get elected as president. Throughout this though, Pinky gets WEIRDLY jealous that Brain keeps brushing him aside for Billie. To the point where during Brain’s inauguration, Pinky actually dresses up as the wife/mother lost at sea and storms into the room.

[ID: Comic panels of Pinky, Brain, and Romy on stage at the inauguration ceremony. Pinky busts into room wearing drag, saying, “Yoo hoo! I’m back from years lost at sea to be with my son and ungrateful husband! Narf!” He then hugs Romy, while glaring at Brain. He goes on to say, “I’ll stand by your side, even though you left me behind!” The people in the audience begin to question this, saying, “Oh great fuzzy bangs!”, “What’d she say?!”, “He deserted her to be with that other woman!”, “What kind of monster is he?!”. Brain then rips off Pinky’s wig and says, “This isn’t my wife! This isn’t even a woman! It’s my roommate, Pinky.” Pinky replies, “Well, yes... But Romy really is my son! Poit!” And Brain responds, “N-Nonsense! He’s my son!” More people in the audience angrily speak up, saying, “What’s that?”, “He lives with a guy who likes to dress up in women’s clothing and the both claim to be that kid’s father!”, “Grumble! Mutter!” /END ID]

Needless to say, this doesn’t end well for them. What we can conclude from this is that homophobia exists in the Pinky and the Brain universe, and our characters are directly affected by it.

Moving on, And-There-Was-Only-One-Bed is a pretty common occurrence with these two. Their cage is big, they have plenty of room for two beds, but? They choose to sleep together? Even in some times where this has been inconsistent and they DO have separate beds, they’re always RIGHT next to each other. (what if we put our minecraft beds together ❤😳)

I would like to mention the episode, You’ll Never Eat Food Pellets In This Town Again! This episode is interesting to say the least. Deals with a lot of the meta of the show. Anyway. In this episode, Brain has a nightmare that he’s in a loveless marriage with Billie. You know, the woman he’s supposed to have a crush on. In the end, he wakes up from the nightmare in the same bed as Pinky.

Speaking of female love interests, Pinky is seen having multiple relationships with characters of different species. Any time this is brought up by Brain, Pinky counters with Brain being too intolerant. An honorable mention with this is in Wakko’s Wish, when Pinky is with Pharfignewton, and Brain’s constant pestering about their relationship could be read as jealousy. Pinky needs a mousy date, after all!

Something else I would like to mention is in one episode (I forget what it’s called, I’ll try to look it up later and edit this), Brain is applying for a job. The employer asks Brain if he’s married, and Brain hesitates before saying he “has a roommate,” but that he’s occupied with his own things, which then cuts to a shot of Pinky applying lipstick.

Leading into part two of this essay, Pinky’s relationship with gender! Pinky has always been very gender nonconforming, and loves to wear dresses, do his makeup, and make himself look pretty. For the most part, this is played pretty straight, and not as a gag, like a lot of shows tend to do! It’s just a casual fact about him that he likes to present femininely sometimes.

This does play into their taking over the world plans pretty often, where Pinky wears drag, usually either to sneak into somewhere. Like in one of their earliest appearances on Animaniacs, Noah’s Lark, where they pose as a couple to board Noah’s, and I quote, “love boat.” After boarding, Noah says to himself, “Who am I to judge?” Okay. Yeah. Alright. Anyway.

I actually had less to say on this than I thought I did, but I wanted to make sure to emphasize that Pinky at the very least is coded as being Not Quite Cis, and that he’s played a key part in helping a lot of people watching the show figure out that they’re also Not Quite Cis. 

Wrapping this up because I’m hungry, but I want to throw in some more honorable mentions that I really do not see any type of cishet explanations for:

They literally go on a romantic date at a very fancy restaurant in Brain’s Night Off. This is played extremely casually, and the only remark from anyone that they receive is that they are “much smaller than the usual clients.”

Pinky, on at least one occasion, daydreams about him and Brain being a married couple, and wanting to be a housewife (the original malewife ❤)

There’s an issue in the comics where Pinky has a crush on another male mouse, and when Brain gets annoyed, Pinky reassures him that he thinks Brain is cute and quite the catch too

Brain attempting to kiss Pinky in the reboot??????

Brain actually did conquer the world once in the Halloween special, because Pinky made a deal with the devil for it, and thus Pinky got sent to hell! Brain actually went to hell and gave up the world to bring him back

Brain was extremely close to conquering the world once more in the Christmas special, but after reading what Pinky’s feelings for him were (nothing romantic, just Pinky basically just praising Brain for being so hardworking and an amazing mouse, and lamenting that he never gets anything for it), he gets so emotional that he sabotages himself and wishes everyone a Merry Christmas instead

TLDR; these mice are very queer and need therapy, and are probably the most heavily queercoded characters that I can think of in children’s media.

#animaniacs #pinky and the brain #patb #brinky #FLOPS ON THE FLOOR this took a long time to write

[pawjamas]

hey..i’ve been back from my stay at the residential facility for several days now and A lot happened, which i’m putting under a a readmore bc it’s potentially triggering (warning for mentions of s*xual abuse/gasl*ghting/etc) my life is basically being uprooted, so much happened in the month of June and is currently still happening, which i’ll explain below

i was admitted to the residential facility on June 9th, it seemed super promising, there was an abundance of 4-5 star reviews from patients online. my friend who currently is working in the mental health field researched about the facility and also confirmed that it seemed a lot better than most places are. the first day was kind of rough and i knew getting adjusted would be difficult but could never have expected what happened the following several days to happen. i made friends pretty quickly, my roommate on the first day there was very kind to me, she told me if i ever needed someone to talk to that she’d be there for me, we also shared the fact we were both nonbinary/just a lot of things we had in common so it was comforting to know her on the first day there.

i spoke to my psychiatrist the next day who told me i could get off “close observations” which is why i was in the room i was, the label is basically something you get put on if you’re at risk for s*lf h*rm/etc and need a staff member w/ you at all times. so since i was taken off of that i was switched to a different room with a different roommate. she was a 60 yr old woman who was in the other program offered at the facility (mine was mental health related and hers was for substance abuse/addiction) i didn’t feel too comfortable around her the first night, she complained about every single thing, she never participated in the groups offered at the facility, she told me over and over again how much she hated being here. the next few days were a blur and are still very fuzzy, my mind is still keeping all the memories locked away which has happened to me many times before w/ trauma where everything’s vague and not fully there.

basically, over the course i was roommates w/ this woman she groomed me and manipulated me into doing anything she wanted me to do for her, she physically/s*xually assaulted me multiple times, and caused my mental health to plummet even further than i thought was possible. i eventually did get to switch rooms, and i only recalled (again, vaguely) what happened those nights about a week later and reported it to the staff where half of them treated it like a joke. i went to the hospital the night i reported everything to get examined and ended up calling my mom on my friend’s phone (she drove to the hospital and stayed w/ me the whole time) and my mom was probably the worse to take my trauma/situation out of anyone. she told me i should’ve spoken up sooner, asked why i didn’t defend myself from this woman, basically the whole phone call was her blaming me for not doing anything about my assault. when i hung up my friend even told me that what she said wasn’t okay, and was victim-blaming.

i left the hospital and got back to the facility around 1:00 am, and the following days i spent there i was continuously getting worse because being in the environment my trauma had happened was preventing me from healing, plus i literally had to be in the same rooms as the person who had assaulted me and seeing her was extremely triggering. she continuously would call me crazy and delusional and that i made the entire thing up, i had difficulty telling what was real and what was not because of how bad i was treated by her and the staff. i’m thankful i met some really kind patients there that became my friends, they helped me the most out of anyone there. at one point a nurse had pulled me into a room and told me how i should never have spoken up about my abuse, how i should consider how it makes my abuser feel, and stop talking to the friends i made about it. but i’m glad i had people who would actually listen.

i mentioned it once but again, my mom was probably the worst person to talk to when all this was happening, at one point one evening when phones were available i called her and told her i needed to leave, i wanted to come home because this all of this was affecting me so badly, and she screamed over and over that i can’t come home and i have to stay, that it’s too bad that happened but continuing to do the program was more important. at that point i broke down and cried, begging her to let me come home and she screamed repeatedly for me to shut up and then hung up on me.

after that evening i knew that i wouldn’t be taking any shit from her any longer, i called my friend who lived nearby about her the following day or so, asked if i could stay with her at her apartment, which didn’t end up happening because we both worried my mom being as spiteful as she is would take legal action if i did leave w/ my friend instead of my mom. i ended up talking to a couple of the friends i made there that i was having bad intrusive thoughts, and that evening i was baker acted (involuntarily hospitalized) and transferred to another facility, which could’ve been because of the staff or me being reported for the thoughts i was having, but regardless i was away from my abuser and didn’t have to see her again.

the hospital i stayed at was...a lot worse than the other place, i barely got to speak to the psychiatrist/therapist during my entire time there, people would joke about how little time you got w/ them. they ended up keeping me there longer than the required 72 hrs, which i asked multiple people why and never got an answer, at one point my mom wanted to make sure i was sent back to the residential facility of which i had to explain would be detrimental to me and my health, but as usual when she had her mind set on something she won’t listen to reason or anyone who explains other (more beneficial) options.

i ended up calling my friend that lived back in the town i live in, told her the whole story and what’s been going on, and ultimately asked if i could move in with her because her and her family had already offered to let me. she was more than happy to have me move in, so that’s what i ended up planning on doing when i got discharged, was have her pick me up instead of my mom. and i called my mom to tell her that i’d be moving out, all the reasons why it’d be beneficial to us both, she took it horribly and told me if my friend picks me up i can never ever come home again and that i’m kicked out. i told her that’s fine, even though it hurt so badly when she said it.

finally, the following monday i was discharged, my friend from back home picked me up along w/ her husband, and we made sure to get all my things from the residential facility (my clothes/shampoo/makeup/etc) before heading back to her house, which was about an hour and a half drive home.

so now i’m staying w/ her, i still feel out of place and disoriented and uncomfortable but her and her family have been very welcoming. i’m trying to get all my stuff from my mom’s but it’s been a huge struggle to get anything from her because she loves to overcomplicate anything and then make it seem as if it’s all your doing and she’s the biggest, kindest saint ever to grace your life. my friends and i all think she has undiagnosed/untreated bipolar, and i definitely think she at least needs therapy and meds too but she doesn’t believe in either for herself. i just want my stuff back, and i do miss my room a lot and jazzy but there’s no way i’m getting either back, i’m also worried how my mom is treating jazzy because she hates him and i’ve witnessed first-hand what she’s done to him before.

i might post my p*ypal / v*nmo (censoring bc i think tumblr is weird abt posts that have these keywords or smth) because i don’t have any income rn...thank you if you read all this lmao i still didn’t even cover half of the other stuff i went through at the place i was baker acted but essentially my life has been turned upside down and i’m having to figure out how to keep going despite it all

#diary 📖 #please read if u can #i want to get my tablet back so i can open commissions #idk why my mom wouldn’t let me have it but she’s Super spiteful so who knows #i want my switch too/laptop i especially need my computer ughhh #genuinely when i thought things couldn’t get any worse there was an extra layer of hell for me to fall into

[isazulabaeorwhat]

Spill the tea, what's the deal with you and the BSG group (avatar-chang and her squad in particular)?

Ok anon, sorry for taking so long! I wanted to get everything right and honestly collecting the posts took a longass time xD

Anyways, the only ones I have a problem there are avatar-chang, hexful/dykesia/bizukos, catrademption, cardboardseagulls (never seen interacted b4) and bizulas (also never interacted b4).

I’m going to be really transparent about this whole thing so it’s gonna be long as there’s gonna be several links and I’ve included the dates so it’ll be easier to understand. Since I’ll be fully transparent about this, i’ll probably get hate or whatever. Honestly, I just want to put everything out there without being biased or hiding anything. I’m going to disclose everything here.

So, the whole thing between me and avatar-chang started off with this post I made last year on 10 March 2019. Afterwards, she PMed me on the same day and this was the conversation:

After that, I thought the argument was over because she blocked me lmao. The only ones I spoke to about this was nbw and my real life friends (who had nothing to do with ATLA lmao I just ranted to them).

And then the next incident I think was on 16 March 2019 when I made this post about Azula’s abuse of her friends. I was new and 16. I genuinely wanted to know why people labeled Azula as an abuser. It was dykesia who responded to me at the time.

Now, unlike avatar-chang, I had a few conversations with dykesia (who was bizukos then) that was generally civil. I first interacted with her when she made a post calling out Zucest shippers or something?? I was very new. Like fresh newbie baby ATLA tumblr fan new lmao so I thought what she said was too aggressive. I didn’t realize that there were actual Zucest shippers until after some time. And then she PMed me on 13 March 2019, saying that she doesn’t always agree on characters with me but I do write some interesting pieces on Azula— that she’s a huge fan of Azula but she just tends to stay away from her fandom. I apologized about the previous incident of the Zucest thing and it was fine after then. We talked about zuko, the fandom, the comics, Mai etc etc. I thought we were on fine terms.

And then I made a post about the cliff scene in the comics on 16 March 2019. Avatar-Chang made a post that was pretty directed at the post but it seems like she’s deleted it.

On 17 March 2019, I received an anon mail telling me that avatar-chang was talking shit about me behind my back. I censored her name then because I didn’t want to believe without any evidence. No one sent me any screenshots about it so I just dismissed it.

On the same day, avatar-chang answered an anon and talked about the 13 child post theory I made on 9 March.

On 23 April 2019, I received another anon mail about avatar-chang, asking if I’d seen the post she made about Azula. I censored her name again cuz I didn’t want to start any shit over having differing opinions. I’m assuming this is the post the anon was referring to.

On 28 April 2019, dykesia/hexful/bizukos PMed me to ask if I was talking shit about other people behind their backs, and her. I denied this because I hadn’t. This was how the conversation went:

Yes, I didn’t censor any name because as I said, full transparency. I have afp blocked because we’ve clashed several times and he’d still come for my posts last year despite already being blocked. If you’ve followed me long enough, you probably would’ve rmbered that time lmao

Anyways during then, I don’t think I realized that dykesia was actually being passive aggressive. It’d been barely a year since I started the blog and I just didn’t want to full out make enemies. Reading the messages now tho lmao she really was passive aggressive. But yeah then she said this in bsg so I don’t even know why she bothered to ask me if she wasn’t even going to consider believing me.

The 9th of June 2019 was the last time she messaged and it was to ask if I mind her discoursing this Zuko post while ‘hard and drunk’. It was the first time she could apparently agree with me so it was I quote a ‘Yay??’. Afterwards I don’t know when she did it but she blocked me lmao

On 17 July 2019, I received another anon mail telling me that avatar-chang publicly called me a bitch when she was answering an anon about me posting the scans of the EK Chronicles. She mentioned this in bsg again on 19 April 2020 lmao (she’s that petty) it seems:

On November 8 2019, an anon (one of avatar-chang’s friends actually) asked about my thoughts towards the allegations against Aaron Ehasz. I still believe in the system of ‘Innocent before proven guilty’, so I didn’t side with anyone. I tried to be as objective as possible. When I said that I hoped men would also come forward, I said that because I don’t want men to just sit on the sidelines and let the women get the heat if they were telling the truth. At the end of this whole thing, I concluded that Ehasz was a dick of a boss to the girls. Being called an abuser carries more weight than just being a dick. Everyone has been a dick at one point, but being an abuser is something else. Just because Ehasz was a dick doesn’t mean I’m going to stop watching TDP or dismiss his involvement in ATLA.

The next day, BSG brought the issue up despite both avatar-chang having already blocked me by then lmao

On 5 February 2020, after Legacy of the Fire Nation came out, I made a post calling out Iroh’s bs to Azula (guy literally blames Azula for everything that happened to Zuko (something which avatar-chang agrees with apparently, and Iroh even sees Ozai in a better light).

That’s so far what I’ve remembered that involved avatar-chang and dykesia.

Moving on to the next three attackers: catrademption, cardboardseagulls and bizulas.

I’ve seen catrademption around, but I don’t remember if we’ve clashed before. We must have though cuz she’s got me blocked lmao and I mostly only debate back to people when they reply to my posts. For cardboardseagulls and bizulas, I don’t think I’ve ever seen them them before but obviously they’ve seen my blog and misinterpreted everything I’ve written.

But according to them, I’m apparently a Azula apologist, extremist, irrational, toxic, coddles and woobifies Azula, justifies everything she does and invalidates abuse victims.

You can see the posts I’ve made to judge whether I actually am an irrational Azula apologist who blames everything on Zuko. One of the most recent posts I made about Azula’s character is this, and there’s still several more posts like that. Just search #meta or #analysis in my blog search and all of them will just pop up. I can assure you, I have never acted as if Azula has done nothing wrong or did everything right or whatever lies these people are spewing.

If anyone has proof that I’ve talked shit about people in the fandom to other people before, please, present your evidence. I highly think this is impossible because I actually don’t have many friends on Tumblr, nor do I usually initiate conversation because I’m awkward af.

I’ve also tried approaching those I recognized in bsg to find out more about the situation (and at least give my side of the story). Most of them have chosen not to speak to me LMAO but one of them who’s chosen to remain anonymous for their privacy, admitted that dykesia (hexful) forced them to block a blog before (after realizing they were interacting with said blog) and if not, they would be blocked themselves. I can’t post the conversation publicly because they’re afraid their speech mannerism will give away their identity. @space-sword has also shared his experience with avatar-chang on his blog and was pressured to cut off ties with ppb21 just to join the oh so magnificent Ba Sing Gay.

There’s absolutely no reason to judge someone based on their sexual orientation, race, color or age either. They rant about being discriminated against or being generalized or stereotypes but they’re the ones hypocritically committing these actions, and then justify their actions by saying ‘we’re oppressed, they’re not, so it’s not racism or discrimination’. And yet people still wonder why discrimination is still rampant LMAO

I can’t speak for the blogs they victimized in bsg, but I personally don’t agree with talking shit about them on a public server and then criminalizing them as if they’re actually predators. I also don’t agree with involving the blogs’ friends simply because of their association. I also don’t agree with demanding people to block blogs they don’t like because that’s just pure manipulation. That’s wrong and marginalizing people. Unless someone has actually been harassing or literally preying on people, then there’s no reason to actually go around warning blogs about them unless they’re asked about it.

If they feel uncomfortable about something? Then avoid that blog, filter their tags or even block that blog if they’re that uncomfortable—BUT they shouldn’t demand others to do the same just for their own benefit. It’s not up to them to decide what a person can or cannot see or who they can or cannot interact with. They’re not their parents, and they obviously have no right to pressure people into doing things they don’t want to. If they think it tactless that I shared the conversations? Oh honestly, a line was crossed when they spread shit about me so idc. If they actually feel terrible for being called out? GOOD. That’s what they should feel, because in no way was any of what they were doing right or justified. If they’re going to shit on me then expect to be burned because I’m not someone who’ll just shrivel in fear because they have a bigger following.

#ba sing gay #bsg

[makeste]

BnHA Vigilantes Chapters 59 - 65: Emergency Catch-Up Blog

before I start, please be advised that the following post will contain a potential MAJOR SPOILER FOR CHAPTER 253, which has not yet been released! please don’t be an idiot like me and spoil yourselves, guys. stay safe.

but anyways yes, this is my recap post for Those Chapters of Vigilantes. at long last. hooray! by the way this is barely edited at all, on account of it being a rush job (see re: the “Emergency” bit in the header). just some raw, unfiltered, [CENSORED SPOILER THING] thoughts and feelings! hopefully it’s readable; when I have more time I’ll try and clean it up a bit more.

so now, first off, credit where credit is due because omg

bless you anon, you saved my life

but let me backtrack! looool so guys, I did a dumb thing and peeked at a spoiler, and read the name “Shirakumo”, and was like FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK and noped out, but it was too late lol. so then I was like “HOW DO I CATCH UP ON THE ENTIRETY OF VIGILANTES IN LESS THAN TWENTY-FOUR HOURS”, fully aware that I probably wasn’t going to do shit and would most likely just spend tomorrow apologizing and shrugging my way through the new chapter. and by the way guys, I’ll go ahead and throw in one of those apologies now, because I’ve had at least a dozen anons implore me to pick up Vigilantes, and I’m fully aware that Aizawa’s past has been covered (including one (1) cloudy boi), and that it’s really good. I just haven’t had the energy to do it! because reading and liveblogging are two very different things, and the latter just takes so much more time and energy honestly. so I kept putting it off and off and off, and now here I am

but then this ask came along telling me exactly which chapters to read in order to get the context I need! so seriously anon, you are the MVP of my week, and I appreciate this so, so much. I am now off to read those chapters, and I apologize to everyone again, but while I will liveblog them, it’ll probably be kind of a rush job due to the circumstances. like I won’t get into every single detail here, because it’s six whole chapters. but I’ll do my best

hmm I don’t know what constitutes the second half of chapter 59 lol so here I am reading the whole damn thing

AIZAWA BEING FRIENDS WITH MIDNIGHT, AND MIDNIGHT HAS A CAT OH GOSH

looool

personally, Aizawa hated school. he would never ever dream of becoming a teacher. how ridiculous. irrational af

“we’ll have you teaching at U.A. soon enough” psssh. not this man, sister

he’s hanging up on her now. honestly I am glad I did not skip the first part of this chapter lol

some wolfman is chasing the protag of this series whose name I forgot, as well as a little girl and ANOTHER CAT. this series has so many cats?! apparently!?

Aizawa is saving the cat. the hero we deserve

the protag whose name I am about to look up wants to adopt the cat, which prompts Aizawa to launch into a 2500-word essay on why he should not adopt the cat

okay the kid’s name is Koichi. he’s apparently 19 in the series, but I don’t know how old he is in this particular scene though because I have the vague impression that the series at large takes place in present-day BnHA time, which would mean this is definitely a flashback. so. ??

OHO, NOW IT’S A FLASHBACK WITHIN A FLASHBACK!!? so this is the Aizawa past thing everyone’s been all “!!!!” about. well here you go guys

young Shouta is staring at an abandoned kitty in a box in the rain

he left the cat, but also left his umbrella over it, awww

and he arrived at class all wet. and his teacher says he can go change his clothes, but he’s all “NAH I’M EMO SO I’LL JUST STAY LIKE THIS”, wow

“I’m powerless” jesus christ Shou get a grip

here comes Present Mic to forcibly lift his best bud’s spirits. they’re in second year apparently

Present Mic, and I mean this in the most loving and affectionate way possible, is the most annoying man on the planet

how was he not just constantly punched in the face at all times. like constantly walking around being punched by people

well well well

something horrible is sure going to happen to you, isn’t it? here I thought you were probably dead, but I’m kinda getting the inkling [SPOILERS, FOLKS, I’M SERIOUS] you’re gonna maybe show up in the latest chapter of the main series, so I guess not! congratulations I guess?? OR MAYBE NOT

“dammit Shirakumo” oh so it’s like that

their teacher deserves a raise. never thought we’d see another U.A. faculty member more done with life than Aizawa himself

hey Shirakumo is giving Shouta his umbrella back, but what about the cat?! SHIRAKUMO ARE YOU REALLY A NICE GUY, I’M NOT SURE YET

meanwhile he’s stripping naked in the middle of class. oh yes. I forgot Vigilantes was like this

he’s using his cloud quirk to censor himself where it counts

“and inside this cloud... is this charming little creature” lol we think he’s talking about his penis but then he pulls out the cat! WELL NEVER MIND THEN SHIRAKUMO

so Shouta is sitting around thinking emo thoughts that are gradually giving way to some decidedly un-hetero thoughts about Shirakumo, who’s doing that shounen thing where he smiles with his eyes closed while being silhouetted against the bright sun. maaaaan. Aizawa you are hella gay my dude

okay next chapter and they’re being assigned internships

Shirakumo’s hero costume is... well let’s just say it’s a good thing he’s got such a badass quirk

he’s riding around on that cloud like Goku. like a fucking Lakitu from Super Mario

now the teachers are talking about the three boys and whether they’ll be able to land internships

“Yamada shouldn’t have a problem. his voice quirk has applications in battle, rescue, and entertainment. but the boy’s a bit distractible.” okay first of all how the hell would Mic ever rescue a person with his quirk. fucking scream them to safety or what. and second, by distractible you mean punchable right. again, all the love

oh my god he’s so cute

lmao this is seriously my favorite picture of Aizawa ever. GO GETTEM SLUGGER

so Shouta is getting bullied by some guy with a decidedly Katsuki-ish quirk, except he shoots jets of fire out of his hands. but anyway he says that fighting Shouta is boring. SHUT UP, YOU. YOU’RE BORING

Shouta is so emo. but he really does want to be a good hero, he just doesn’t know how. he seems very frustrated

he’s lecturing Kumo on not giving people-food to the cat. and now he has picked up the cat and is cradling and bottle-feeding it like an infant. bless

this manga really has a gag panel of the cat pissing on Shirakumo afterwards, like. see this is another reason why I haven’t exactly been in a rush to read it sob. my sense of humor doesn’t really seem to align with Furuhashi’s

oH MY GOD

high school Midnight is the coolest person I have ever seen and I want to be just like her when I grow up

aaaaand she is literally not wearing any clothes except that belt and those boob-holsters. which, I mean, it’s not like she really dresses any differently in the main series, but this being Vigilantes, I’m sure we’ll get another half a dozen pages showing extreme close-ups of her costume from various angles. again, another area where this series and I don’t quite see eye to eye, but it’s all right since we’re just passing through here

and one year later they wrote a literal law limiting how much exposed skin a hero costume can show. oh Midnight. meanwhile I forgot how much this series makes me appreciate Horikoshi, flaws and all. I’ll take a thousand Minetas over this shit honestly. at least Mineta always gets his comeuppance. but anyway

they have named the cat “Sushi”

Midnight is straight up taking the cat lmao

Yamada got an internship. one down, two to go

Midnight’s back and showing them a video of the cat pooping. one joke about the cat’s bathroom habits in a single chapter was not enough, we’re going for two. not like we have anything more important to cover, like Aizawa getting an internship and something terrible and tragic happening to his boyfriend. let’s just keep talking about cat poop

okay here we go, Midnight says her boss will take them as interns

“Loud Cloud” lmao. home run hero name. GOAT

so Shouta’s chasing a villain and nearly got crushed by a safe that he threw at him, but he’s being saved by some guy who I’m guessing is his boss

oh my

this is the kind of weirdness that only a manga can get away with. I wonder how this idea came into being and whose idea it was, Horikoshi’s or Furuhashi’s. maybe the two of them hitting each other up back and forth in a text chain. “so I’m doing Aizawa’s flashback now, who do you want to have him to intern under?” “hmm I don’t know but I was thinking literally Prince”

Prince is chewing Shouta out something fierce

I thought I was prepared for these Aizawa flashbacks, but some things you can never be prepared for

lol he asked Shouta how he fucked up, and Shouta started listing all of his tactical errors, and Prince interrupted him and is all “I’M TALKIN’ ‘BOUT THAT GLOOMY FACE” listen son just who do you think your intern is. THAT’S JUST HIS FACE LEAVE HIM ALONE

he says Aizawa wears his stress all over his sleeve and bums people out

he’s telling him to smile! now where have we heard that philosophy before

hello

I’m just reblogging this panel because of reasons

so Shouta is sulking in the locker room, and Shirakumo is showering off and says his MO is to keep smiling even when he screws up

now Midnight is texting Shouta 500 cat pictures

lmao we can’t see Shouta’s face, but Kumo is streaking in and is all “THERE’S THAT SMILE, SUNSHINE!!!!”

OH SHIT NOW IT’S A FEW DAYS LATER AND THE VILLAIN IS BACK BUT THIS TIME SHOUTA DONE GOT HIM SOME GOGGLES!! the path from adorable to sexy begins. the Longbottoming

oh shit the goggles belong to Shirakumo. the gayening. and they were roommates

Shouta’s using his quirk!

and the bad guy is all “I don’t need my quirk to crush you” and straight up demolishing the fucking pavement yikes

and Kumo is leaping at him from above and whomping him on the head

yay they caught him. and Shouta is...

he’s trying. they’ll coax a real smile out of him yet! just show him a Youtube compilation of Logical Ruses

now he and Shirakumo have matching pairs of goggles. I’m just gonna assume this means they are married

the fire hands bully guy from earlier is coming over to start some shit again

he says he also realized the importance of eye protection through his internship. and Mic says he stole the idea from him

now the class is partnering off for two-on-two battle training, and Kumo is partnering with Shouta

they’re going up against Mic and Fire Hands, and for some reason they’re making a wager of it. whoever loses has to stop wearing glasses. this is easily the stupidest thing I have seen in this series yet, not to mention the most accurate

Kumo’s grinning at Shouta and saying the goggles symbolize their friendship and they have to defend them. you know, lovable scamp stuff

now Shirakumo and Shouta are double teaming the Fire Hands guy and taking him out in seconds because OF COURSE THEY DID. lol he never fucking stood a chance

but Shouta’s handing the glasses back and says that two-on-one isn’t fair so he’s calling the wager off

aaaand Fire Hands is snatching them back and stomping on them. and says he doesn’t need them

listen you dingus, yes you do fucking need them. and also he says he didn’t lose! wow this guy really has his head up his ass. I’d say he reminds me of a CERTAIN SOMEONE, but you know what, I’ll give Mr. Certain Someone his fair credit though, because he managed to get his shit together long before his second year. Fire Hands still needs to grow up

the teacher is telling him he missed the point of the exercise, and FH is literally ignoring him and running off wow

apparently Mic also gave up his sunglasses and got himself a pair of goggles. well we know that’s not gonna last. and for that matter, Shouta’s gonna change out his goggles for a different model as well. ohhhhh some tragedy is on the horizon I just know it, this is gonna hurt

Shirakumo says the three of them should start their own agency. ahhh. buddy I’m here reading this from the future, and I gotta tell you, son... shit’s awkward as fuck

and he’s pointing out all the different ways they complement each other’s strengths and weaknesses

Shouta says he can’t do anything on his own, but Kumo says that just means he’s suited to teamwork

Kumo’s inviting Midnight to join them, but she’s declining lol

Shouta’s looking at the sky all dramatically. oh baby this is it isn’t it. things are about to get rough

“one week later”

NOO THEY HURT MY PRECIOUS PRINCE

SOMEONE IS CALLING FOR BACKUP AND THE CAMERA IS ZOOMING IN ON A BUSTED UP PAIR OF GOGGLES, FUCK EVERYTHING

now we’re cutting to Mic and Fire Hands and FH replaced his sunglasses with a pair of goggles. goggles are just the in thing now

Fire Hands talks about Aizawa so much I’m starting to ship the two of them now as well. damn Shouta how many high school boyfriends did you have??

so they’re fighting off some toad monster and it’s absorbing all their attacks

meanwhile Shouta and Kumo are literally helping kindergartners to cross the street

look at this

it’s beyond my comprehension how anyone could possibly mistake this man for anything but a future teacher

even Kumo is commenting on how natural he is at working with kids

oH MY GOD the kids waved goodbye and said “bye Eraserhead” and it prompted a little smile

Kumo says Shouta psychs himself out and convinces himself he can’t do stuff, but really he can do just about anything if he puts his mind to it. aww. and he’s right!!

oh shit here comes the toad

so this toad’s name is Garvey, and he’s literally wanted for murder oh shit. and he has a Fatgum-like quirk that can absorb attacks and store them up to release them

and some idiots hit him with a combined attack that ended up powering him the fuck up. well shit

so Prince is placing a rose in between his teeth and getting ready to fight this toad off. do it I believe in you

now a lot is happening all at once, jesus. Shouta and Kumo were trying to evacuate the kids but then the toad just appeared right there like wtf, and then Prince also showed up out of nowhere and went to hit the thing with a flying jump kick

aaaand he’s getting blasted into a building

oof. and getting even further blasted now. welp

Kumo’s protecting the kiddos with his Nimbus quirk!

OH FUCKING SHIT AND THEN HE GOT CRACKED IN THE HEAD BY A GIANT FALLING ROCK

um

is this bitch fucking dead now. I can’t believe they fucking Obitoed my bro Shirakumo

so now the toad is looming over them, and Shouta realizes he’s the only one left standing, and all his doubts are filtering into his mind as he desperately tries to think of how to stop him

and Shirakumo’s... gourd... thing... is klunking in out of nowhere, and it has a little speaker on it, and it’s all “YOU GOT THIS AIZAWA” and wtf. this is like something out of a weird fever dream

OH SHIT BOYS AIZAWA SHOUTA DONE GOT HIS GAME FACE ON NOW

THE LONGBOTTOMING CONTINUES

so now he’s leaping fifty feet into the air, somehow, and thinking that his Erasure quirk will at least level the playing field. well all right then! you go boy

now it’s raining and of course bolts of lightning are dramatically hitting the ground all around them

Shouta’s kicking off the lil power toad lumps one by one lol

literally just jumping all around and kickin’ stuff

oof he took a bad hit. but he’s sitting back up!

Kumo’s disembodied gourd voice keeps shouting encouragement at him though, idk. so there’s that

he says Shouta’s strong and he won’t lose, and Shouta is all “RAHHHHHHH.” you guys, if 1-A ever found out about this flashback they would never let the man live it down. hell I’m not gonna let him live it down. okay then. Mr. RAHHHHHH

he’s doing some weird stuff with his capture weapon now. I think maybe he grabbed a rock with it and chucked it at the guy

and now the guy is shooting all his toad lumps at Shouta all at once! WELL ALL RIGHT THEN

yooooo Shouta literally grabbed them all with the capture weapon and he’s CHUCKIN’ EM ALL INTO THE DUDE’S MOUTH Y’ALL THIS IS SOME REAL FUCKING SHIT LMAO GET WRECKED

so the guy is blowing up from the inside out. yeah that’s what you get for murdering Shouta’s childhood friend you piece of shit

and Shouta’s collapsing in exhaustion but happily shouting “SHIRAKUMO I DID IT” before he passes out. oh my god don’t tell me Kumo is already dead and Shouta just hallucinated his voice or some shit. THEN WHO WAS GOURD omg

oooooof here we go

[places both hands on Shouta’s shoulders and looks him dead in the eye] son I don’t know how to tell you this, but Shirakumo has been dead for twenty years

wow can someone just fucking tell Shouta already so he stops depressing everyone and making an idiot out of himself. geez how long are you all gonna stand around despondently shooting knowing looks at each other in the rain

so they’re picking up the gourd speaker thing and OF COURSE it’s visibly broken and there’s no possible way Kumo’s voice could have been coming out of it. especially since he has been dead for twenty years. here’s a picture of his grave. oh shit what’s that little grave right next to his?? OH MY GOD IT’S THE CAT. OH MY GOD

oh fuck me

Y’ALL REALLY DID THESE BABIES LIKE THAT. HORIKOSHI!! FURUHASHI!! GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW I WANT A WORD!!

so now Fire Hands, who is trying his best to be comforting but is just SO BAD AT IT, is all “Aizawa you went toe to toe with this thing and beat it YOURSELF!! ALL ALONE!!!” jesus christ I need a minute

OH DAMN A CALLBACK TO THE RAIN “THIS KINDA FITS OUR VIBE RIGHT NOW” LINE but now it’s saaaaaaaad oh no

I mean. I knew going in that this was going to be Aizawa’s sad childhood flashback about his friend Shirakumo whom something very terrible happened to. it’s not like I’m even surprised. I knew what I was getting myself into here. but damn that still hurts

do you guys think that having a permanent image of his best friend forever immortalized as a cheerful seventeen-year-old, and being forever haunted by the memory of that seventeen-year-old being cut down in the prime of his life, might have given Aizawa Shouta lasting trauma which carried over into his adulthood and makes him do desperately reckless things when children are at risk, such as leaping into battle against an army of villains all alone. dammit now I want to grab every single problem child of 1-A and shake them roughly and scream at them for all the sleepless nights they have doubtless caused this man

so now here he and Mic are both being sad

aww Mic. I’m sorry I keep wanting to punch you in the face. it’s just reflex

and now it’s one year later and the class is gearing up for the sports festival

well look who is almost fully done with his metamorphosis

you will soon be a beautiful butterfly

he is literally going to sleep in the middle of class. well depression makes people tired. sigh

he’s got his familiar goggles now! and he’s kicking FH’s ass and lecturing him on how to fight better. damn his character development is complete

and he’s helping FH to his feet aww. definitely boyfriends. this man gets around

his teachers now say that Shouta has gotten too complacent, if anything, and phones everything in once he knows he’s got a passing grade, and only gets passionate when it comes to practical exercises

and now we’re cutting to the gym and Shouta is indeed training passionately while Mic sits in the corner looking bummed. all these kids have been through far too much in their young lives

Shouta’s handing in his career aspiration form, and he wrote that he wants to start his own agency and focus on “fighting, and nothing else”

his scruffy facial hair is already starting to come in now. it’s true what they say, having a tragic past does indeed make you hotter

anyways but can we get this boy a hug!? anybody?? hello??!?

now they’re graduating and Shouta is disappearing in a poof of smoke and now there’s this big panel with flashbacks to his career up to the current point in Vigilantes!

and we’re back in the ~present~ and he’s telling Koichi to take good care of that cat. aaaand, I guess that’s that. geez. that was a lot

so there you go! the Aizawa flashbacks! they were very sad! all in all I really enjoyed them! so now, if Shirakumo isn’t actually dead (seeing as it’s a shounen manga that pays homage to comic books, so safe to say that People Not Actually Being Dead is a Certified Phenomenon, like it’s definitely a THING THAT CAN SOMETIMES HAPPEN), well then. tomorrow’s chapter is sure going to be interesting to say the least. lulz but maybe I’ve got it all wrong though. guess I’ll find out!

#bnha 253 #bnha vigilantes #aizawa shouta #yamada hizashi #shirakumo oboro #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha vigilantes spoilers #makeste reads bnha #makeste reads vigilantes #the real question is what the hell ever happened to this prince guy #I refuse to believe he just disappeared off the face of the earth #how is he not a top ten hero #probably because he got knocked out by the toad villain in like two seconds #and his sixteen-year-old intern had to save his fabulous behind #well hats off to a legend #wherever he is now

[willmelon]

i don’t usually do this but i feel Compelled to do a liveblog/review of Mouth Dreams so here goes

Please don’t read this if you haven’t heard the album yet as it’ll spoil Everything

(i’ll admit the idea came to me After i listened to Just a Baby so these first ones are gonna be relistened reviews)

first we got Yahoo. what can i say about this song? neil starts off Strong with incredibly sustained notes and just one phrase, in typical neil style. and he makes it work in so many different ways! honestly didn’t expect myself to get so attached so fast but that’s just the way his magic works ig. when the hoooooooos harmonise it almost brings tears to the eyes. i would love to see a group of choristers singing this with another guy on an electric keyboard. what a cold open. 9/10

of course then we go on to the titular track, the dimension of sound, the dimension of imagination, the dimension of doors. rod serling narrates the intro in his traditional monotone as the warbling twilight zone theme plays in the background. i tell ya i was actually Screaming when the track finished and he dropped the title! it may not be a song per se, sort of like Blockbuster from Mouth Moods, a ‘filler track’ if you will, but the effort in those fifty seconds cannot be ignored. it just goes to show once again how Good he is at what he does. 6.5/10

oh lawd, my favourite so far, Spongerock. reading the title i had absolutely No idea what to expect. the goofy goober song from the movie? winner takes all from band geeks? i was pleasantly surprised to find myself tapping out queen’s distinctive boom boom CLAP as the song progressed, and i was in complete Hysterics the whole way through, chanting along with the kids as the pirate encouraged me to sing louder. it’s such a beautiful fit the way they mesh together, and it’s one of those mashups that you listen to and think ‘why has nobody done this before?’ but neil is on a higher plane of existence than us and Knows where it’s at. you’re never the same after you’ve listened to Spongerock. 7.5/10

Just a Baby, where i stopped to begin this thing, is a melancholy song, which i’m not usually a fan of. i admit i don’t know the original song so i kept quiet until the last chorus or two. it’s the yang to the yin of Wow Wow from Moods, another sentence-mixer that was like a full Bop and barely gave you time to catch your breath. in Just a Baby you begin to empathise with the singer as he regales confusing times of his constant youth, including the time his mother (a train) shot a man in cold blood. it’s a powerful ballad, and it’s got a tasteful amount of justin bieber adding backing vocals to the chorus. i may have to deduct a few points cos the lyrics are gonna be hard af to remember. 7/10

ok next up we got Superkiller. this one’s totally blind! i’m. ehhhhh okay not diggin this one very much. ok that say something once line being repeated was comedy gold but talking heads are just like. kinda tuneless tbh. i’m glad he’s trying to lassoo it together with u can’t touch this but it’s kinda falling short tbh. i wouldn’t skip it but it’s not as memorable as the previous ones. 5/10

starting Get Happy. i’m not gonna lie i think i Know what this is, there are only so many options after all. i predict it’s a mix of “get dancin’” by disco-tex and the sex-o-lettes and “happy” by bahrrel williams, and i really hope that ain’t the case cos i Love the first one but despise the latter. oh well let’s see if he can pull it off. sounds like village green by the kinks so far lol uhhhh i have no idea what to make of this. okay i feel like i’m gonna like this after all. hey it’s got memorable lyrics at least! is it gonna get faster? or just more bassy? yknow maybe i was too critical at the start, but i had no idea what to expect. this is a feel-good pop song and it’s definitely making me feel happier than i was when i was listening to Superkiller. 7/10

Ribs? wtf do i expect from a song called Ribs lmao another song i’ve never heard of IH IT’S EVERYBODY WANTS TO RULE TH WORLD OH YEEEEEEEEES omg i Love this song i sing it to myself when i’m walkin my dog cos his little paws click-clack on the pavement to the exact rhythm of the song omg i’m in Love! another one with odd lyrics but i think after a Lot of repeat listening i’ll be able to properly croon along to this one omg! it reminds me of Best from Mouth Silence in that they’re both about products, only instead of folgers in your cup it’s about chili’s baby back ribs omg neil you’re Perfect! how come more advertisers haven’t contacted you for a product placement deal?? 7.5/10

next we got My Mouth. welcome to? who knows let’s hit play. ooooh minor key. is this a real song? it sounds like oney singing a cover of something. oh That’s the gimmick? 2:30 long i hope there’s something else tbh cos otherwise it’s gonna get pretty thin pretty fast. mm not a fan. the weakest so far imo especially after Ribs blew me away. definitely a bad dream. 3.5/10

Aerolong don’t fail me now! okay see This is how you do a mashup. I DON’T MISS YOU BABAY AND I DO WANNA MISS A THING THAT’S GOLD!! this is just a song about saying bye to your ex lmao i love it. wish it was longer though. 6/10

Sleepin’ here we go! ok in the youtube version the first half of this song is just silence so that wasn’t fun. gee this one’s only moderately better than My Mouth i’m feeling very shortchanged. 4/10

what to expect from Aamoorree? hopefully this one’s another jam but...okay i’m likin this one. it’s Fun and isn’t trying too hard! it’s just a drunk dean martin singing about pizza pie on karaoke night, what more could you ask for lol. 6/10

Where Is My Mom? by the p-p-p-pooo-oo-ooo-oooool of course. i don’t recognise the other song but it’s decent. i’ve listened to slowed-down songs before (the sludgefest chipmunks albums lately) and this one’s kinda ok. not a fan of the ending but points for effort ig. 5.5/10

Fredhammer ay? might there be some peter gabriel in there? undoubtedly. yup there it is lol ok now bring in the flintstones? oh ig that’s fred durst? mm not totally feeling it so far but censoring he** was funny lmao HEY THERE’S SEINFELD i’m wheezin that was a good way to end a song, well done neil. 6.5/10

here goes Limp Wicket. i’m on the edge of my seat. and Again i’m disappointed. is this a bunch of ewoks singing some kind of star wars song? or is it jarjar? either way this is Not a good song. it probably wasn’t before he mashed it up but this wasn’t an improvement. bringing in Fredhammer didn’t help this song much at all, in fact i think it brought both songs down actually. last one was a 7/10 but i Have to dock it points now that it’s a two-parter. as for this one? i’m being generous cos the limp bizkit song was good. 1/10

Cannibals runs for 4 minutes. PLEASE don’t let this be a repeat of the last one. i get that miners can’t dig up gold every time but don’t just show up with a bunch of rocks and iron pyrites yknow i’m just gonna start. i don’t want to be angry at this album. i recognise that sound in the bg! from a cyriak vid i think. thx comin in. loooooooong drone. ugh UGH there are Too many lucid dreams on this album. starting to regret liveblogging this cos i Loved the other three mouth albums. this one’s just falling flat again and again. 3/10

here comes The Outsiders. there is NOTHING to say about this. 1.5/10

come on Johnny. okay that got a laugh out of me, not many songs start with a booing crowd like that, is that meta? wouldn’t put it past him tbh. ah i’ll give it a 5/10, for a kinda filler song it wasn’t too bad.

Closerflies, this has gotta be gold. PLEASE. intro’s goin on for a little too long...mm having never heard the original version of closer i gotta admit i thought it’d be faster, like the one used in Rollercloser in Silence. this version seems very sloppy and sluggish, especially the bassline. 3/10

Nightmovin’ i’m not expecting much OH good intro oh YES now here we go. this is a good one, it’s got clear lyrics and a catchy tune, i’m liking this one more and more by the second. cuts off weird but it’s going into the next one. so i’m gonna leave the rating out of this one and see how it is after the next one.

Whitehouse i’m holding my breath. mm it’s Good but not great tbh. criminal that the last one was half as long as this one. think i’m gonna give both of these songs a 5/10 i doubt they’ll be anyone’s favourites. the title is a nice little joke too i respect that.

Wah! what’s neil’s obsession with using wannabe as a source lmao! it’s another decent one but nothing memorable again. 5/10

Pee Wee Inc i’m expecting big things. good intro I’M IN LOVE okay this is Much better than i imagined it’d be. did he use the radio edit of feel good inc? this is a heck of a way to bring it back to the gold stuff and i wouldn’t be surprised if this is what neil’s head sounds like all the time. 7/10

on to 10,000 Spoons. not sure what to expect from the title. okay this is a Nice one i think. throwback to the likes of Just a Baby with the two songs and the sentence mixing and it’s Good. and really 10,000 spoons is So ironic anyway, don’t you think? 7/10

oh another song called Mouth Dreams? an extro? that was Weird lol ok the intro i wasn’t too keen on, def not as much as the intro, but i got to appreciate it as it went on. like Rlly appreciate it i was beginning to reflect on what a journey i’d been through tonight, especially writing it all down. felt very poetic. and then WHAM, out of nowhere, after being gone for 23 songs, all-star came Back and How! gotta give this one a 7.5/10

keep the train rolling Brithoven! i can hear faint bits of instruments in britney’s song in the back of her audio which sound like a mistake but knowing neil.......yah lmao. this song’s kinda like Promenade (Satellite Pictures at an Exhibition) from Mouth Sounds, i liked what i heard. very nice. 6.5/10

the final song. we’re gonna be hit one more time for Ain’t! and i have NO idea what i’m in for! in the hall of the mountain king eh? is this like a way of looping around to the first song of the first album with classical music? ok the snoring’s a nod to Bustin i’m sure lmao funny anyway. i thought i heard a hey now in there but i must be going nuts. wouldn’t call it a grand finale but it is what it is. 5/10

now the question that must be asked - was Mouth Dreams trying to make a point? was there a reasons so many songs were of lower-quality than previous albums? perhaps it’s just a matter of taste, or perhaps it’s as rod said back on track two, that this album is a doorway into another dimension, and the further you progress, the more mind-rattling, brain-melting concepts you come across. the album gets an average of 5.5 which is kinda disappointing. don’t think i’ll be listening to the whole thing again. thanks for reading!

#mouth dreams #neil cicierega #liveblog #review

[katrinawritesthings]

Jonghyun/Taemin; Flashbabe; PG

happy Pride fellow gays here’s superhero Jonghyun going to Pride. He has light super powers it’s like Flashbang except he’s a babe

hey I wrote this last year and put it in the queue in like December so I definitely apologize that he's not 7000% more anti-pig lmao

One shirt is covered with diagonal rainbow stripes, including the black and brown stripes, and says, in big, bold letters, “Pride was and is a riot.” The other one is pink and just says simply, “fuck cops” in all black caps.

“The back of this one says cops don't belong at Pride, too,” Jonghyun says brightly, turning it to demonstrate.

“Hey boo—which one?”

Taemin looks up from his laptop, at Jonghyun walking in from the bedroom holding up two shirts. Taemin assumes that he's going to put them on over his superhero outfit, because otherwise he probably wouldn't already be wearing the stylish black and white and aqua accented suit. He never wears it at home unless he's planning to go out in it. His mask and shades are both tucked into the collar of his suit’s long sleeve shirt as well, which further leads to that conclusion. Taemin raises his eyebrows.

“You're going in the suit?” he asks. This whole time when Jonghyun was talking about going to Pride, Taemin thought he meant like, as a normal average mild-mannered citizen. Not as Flashbabe. Jonghyun nods, though, wiggling his booty in his comfy super suit skinny’s and flexing one arm to show off his beefy bicep.

“Yeah,” he says. “all of my little queers out there need to know that I'm fighting for them specifically.” he winks at the end of that sentence and Taemin rolls his eyes. That's true, he guesses, and also cute. Jonghyun holds up the shirts again, wiggling them insistently. “Which one?” he asks again.

This time Taemin actually looks them over. One is covered with diagonal rainbow stripes, including the black and brown stripes, and says, in big, bold letters, “Pride was and is a riot.” The other one is pink and just says simply, “fuck cops” in all black caps.

“The back of this one says cops don't belong at Pride, too,” Jonghyun says brightly, turning it to demonstrate. Taemin nods in approval. Both are good, but. Hmm.

“You're going to be on the news when you go,” he says slowly. “They'll censor that fuck in the pictures.” He knows that they will. They'll probably even censor the whole shirt. Jonghyun frowns, looking at the shirt with disappointment.

“You're right,” he says sadly. He tosses in the shirt over the back of the couch, and then puts the other shirt on right there. “I can just say fuck cops out loud when I get there anyway,” he says, voice muffled as he struggles to get his head through it. When he pops his head out of the collar, his wide grin is lopsided and dazzling. “They can beep me out but everyone will still know what I said.” he says.

“Hell yeah,” Taemin grins. Jonghyun throws him a finger pistol as he fishes his mask and sunglasses out from his collar.

“Sure you don't want to come, boo?” he asks. His voice is a little hopeful but not so much that Taemin feels guilty for shaking his head. It's too loud and crowded and hot out there and he knows his feet will hurt after like twenty minutes. And Jonghyun knows this, because he nods back with an accepting little shrug.

“I was going to watch the livestream when BoA starts performing, though,” Taemin says, tapping the screen of his laptop. No fucking way would he miss that. Jonghyun nods again, looking at his mask as he fumbles with it and tries to figure out which way is the right way to put it on.

“When is that, like an hour?” he asks, pulling the mask over his head so it covers his hair down to his nose, still showing off his mouth and perfectly framing his lovely jaw. Even though his mask has custom sunglass lenses built into it, he also pulls out a neon aqua pair of regular sunglasses and crams those onto his face as well. When Taemin makes an affirming little noise he makes a clicky noise with his mouth and ticks up an okay symbol with both hands.

“I gotta go hit up Kibs soon, then,” he says, “so I can bug him to draw me pan stripes and gender-fluid stripes on my cheeks before she starts so I can get there on time. Fuck, and Minho has my glittery high heel boots also, they were going on about tinkering with their armor to make them like bouncier or something?” Taemin can't see his eyes roll, but he rolls his whole head so Taemin knows that he did it. “You know how it takes them forever to do anything,” he mutters. Taemin giggles. He does. Or, well, he knows that Jonghyun thinks that Minho takes forever. He also knows that Jonghyun has approximately three seconds of patience before he starts getting annoyed.

“Are you leaving now then?” he asks. He looks like he's ready. Jonghyun hums, fixes his shirt around his waist, rocks back on his heels and then forward onto his toes.

“One more thing I gotta do,” he smiles. He flounces to the couch that Taemin is laying on, bends over the back of it, leans close, and presses a gross, slobbery, wet smooch to his forehead. “Love you, boo,” he chirps. Taemin makes his most disgruntled noise and turns to wipe his head on the couch cushion. He also reaches up to hold Jonghyun’s hand for a few seconds fondly.

“Have fun, lovey,” he says, tacking on the nickname just to watch Jonghyun’s cheeks literally glow pink. He sees it for just a few seconds before Jonghyun hides his face in his hands and stands up, but it's enough.

“Oh my gosh,” Jonghyun whispers. “Bye boo. I'll see you later.” And with that, he disassembles into a sparky ball of light, zapping into the lamp next to the couch, and then to the night light by the front door, and then outside into the closest street light, which Taemin assumes he's going to follow all the way up to Kibum’s apartment. He is incredibly certain that by the time he zaps himself unannounced into Key’s living room he'll be glowing pink all over.

The next time Taemin sees Jonghyun, it's when Flashbabe appears at Pride by zapping himself on top of a street lamp right over the stage float. He sits there, extremely visible in the livestream camera, faintly glowing through a cycle of soft rainbow colors and waving around at the crowd. He ignores all of the news reporters that catch wind of him and try to grab him for an interview, but when BoA, mid performance set, notices him and calls him to the stage, he zaps himself directly into one of the stage lights and drops down easily.

BoA hands him the mic and he gives a nice little speech about Pride and his identity and how he'll always do his best to protect his favorite little queers and wraps It up by zapping to sit on top of the stage float, pointing over at a group of cops on the sidelines, and saying, “Fuck y'all.”

Then he drops the mic down to BoA and teleports away, zipping from street lamp to street lamp, from float to float, to some of the marchers’ glow up accessories and outfits. Taemin just watches the concert . He doesn't have the energy to check all the news and the social media sites and whatever to keep himself updated on where exactly Jonghyun is right at every moment. He knows that his babe is out there having fun and supporting himself and protecting people. And he knows that Jonghyun will be back later to flop on top of him and give him just as much love and attention as he does everyone else.

#jongtae #jonghyun #taemin #pg #flashbabe au #fantasy #the hero we deserve but not the cishets #he goes out and robs rich people and then glows pan flag colors as he redistributes it to the gays hell yeah #hell yeah #cops hate but it's okay because he hates them too #key is his outfit guy and minho is his tech guy and jinki is his government contact guy and taemie is his boyfriend :) #gays happy pride yall yee haw #Jong calling him boo is very important

[mcrololo]

According to my memory this backstory was two episodes long but I couldn’t have been more wrong lmao. Anyway, wow, the lost fable, amirite? 

Constructive criticism under the cut.

Alright, I’m gonna skip the talk about cheesy overused tropes because that’s not my main issue for once (note: I’m gonna go off on tropes later anyway lmao). I’d like to talk about the worldbuilding in this episode so buckle up. 

To start things off, I actually liked Ozma dying to an unknown disease. It’s a very subtle way of saying magic and aura have their limits when it comes to healing (regardless of the fact that this might get retconned sooner or later, if it hasn’t happened already). 

Salem being a dumb greedy bitch plays nicely into her humanity. We all do crazy things for our loved ones, especially when they’re all we have left. Salem only had Ozma. When he died she was left with nothing. Of course she’s gonna try everything in her power to get him back. I would go to hell and back if it meant I could see my beloved alive and well again! Putting her next to the brother of creation is a nice way of showing their differences. Salem is human. The brother is a god. That was a good parallel. 

That being said, I have several issues with these brother gods. 

The most obvious one is the trope of good/bad god. It’s incredibly cliche to have a white/yellow/vibrant good god and a purple/black/dark lord. I can’t say they put their own spin on these brothers because neither of them seem to have more personality beyond ‘righteous’ and ‘sassy/impulsive’. They’re incredibly flat when it comes to characteristics, not to mention the good one has abs and broad shoulders and the bad one is a bit lanky. Where have I seen that before? I understand the need to show your audience who’s good and bad in just a second, but neither of these two seem to have a feud with one another. So why? 

If we look at their powers there’s not really a distinct difference other than the colors used. Both brothers can create whenever they please, they can both take away/destroy at their whim and they both have the ability to shapeshift. You can't even argue that the god of creation can give and take away life, while the god of destruction can take life and bring back from the dead because ultimately it’s the same thing. They even talk in the same manner. There’s really no difference. The only difference they have going for them is their swimming pool. One gives eternal life, and one grants the desire of destruction. That’s it. They could have easily be one god, but then there’s no feud. Oh wait. There wasn’t. The little tension there was was thanks to Salem and was almost immediately disputed. 

And this is just a minor bit but personally I’m tired of seeing gods talk all posh and proper. Give me brother gods who prank war each other and talk in ‘YEET’ lingo. I understand that this takes place millions and millions of years before Remnant’s recreation, before our heroes take part in the story, but who says these gods can’t be like that? It’s a fantasy setting. 

That aside, what’s up with their forms? During the whole episode they switch between two forms: humanoid and dragon. Which one is their regular form? Is dragon form a battle form? Do they switch to humanoid as to not scare their own creation? If the god of destruction doesn’t like humans entering his domain, why does he take on his humanoid form for Salem then? And if the god of creation doesn’t want to fight his brother, why does he switch to dragon form? When we see them again after Salem riles up all the humans, they’re in dragon form. Am I safe to assume that’s their regular form, or is it really just a battle form (considering they ARE under attack)? None of my questions really get answered. 

I really don’t understand the need to destroy the moon, unless it’s because the dark lord couldn’t keep his impuls in check. If someone could explain that one to me, I’d be grateful. 

Jumping back to the pools for a bit. Specifically the destruction one. We are told Salem felt the extreme desire to destroy after jumping in there but when we see her again she’s in a cabin who knows where? She’s not going out of her way to kill, and she doesn’t try until Ozma decides to ditch her. Then what’s the point of making her jump in that pool BEFORE Ozma ditches her? She could’ve jumped in after, abandoning what little humanity she has left in a desperate attempt to really kill herself. Her true love betrayed her, after all. 

Let’s talk about her true love for a bit. Didn’t Ozpin say his reincarnation was a curse bestowed upon him by the gods because he couldn’t stop Salem? Was that just another one of his lies or was this a convenient retcon? I honest to god can’t tell with this show nowadays. And why did the god of CREATION choose for Ozma to reincarnate in an already living being, eventually effectively DESTROYING the other soul? He’s going to end up alone anyway, so his excuse of ‘you won’t do this on your own’ doesn’t really add up. 

Oh and while we’re talking about Ozma and Salem: They really just invented an entirely new religion in what seems to be, what, ten or twenty years? Salem is immortal so I guess she doesn’t age, but Ozma is still the same reincarnation he was when he met Salem again. Assuming by the change in his hairstyle he aged a little, but other than that they really just... Made a whole religion in barely one lifetime, huh? 

I had issues with some of the lines/scenes too. Since I’m already making a post out of this episode I’ll just dump them here. 

‘It was here where mankind would fall to ruin’ that’s not… Why would you spoil that? Why give this line right here, when you’re showing the exact happening later on? These few seconds could have been used on something else, like more worldbuilding or something. I understand that someone is telling us a story, but why would you give away the core so easily? Does anyone even do that? 

‘None dared to enter his home’. There’s a skeleton right there. A human skeleton. Yeah you can argue this is to ~show~ he’s the god of destruction and death, but then it’s not ‘none’. Then it’s ‘very few’. I know this is nitpicking but even the small bits count. It can take just one word to throw someone out of your story and they may not return to it.  

‘And so you must understand the dark lord’s surprise’. Don’t tell me what to do. Viewers and readers usually don’t like it when you do this. This line is easily overlooked because she continues her story immediately after, but seriously. Don’t tell a viewer/reader what to do or feel. This is why people usually say ‘show, don’t tell’. Also why does he greet Salem like that? You know what I mean. 

Not a line but w/e. I don’t know what it is about Ozma’s brief return, but it feels a bit weird? His fear makes sense because he probably accepted death and suddenly he’s back alive, but his reaction is almost immediate and his fear is very intense. Was he in hell or something? Like the dude just opens his eyes, doesn’t even register his surroundings and immediately goes into panic mode. Why? At least give him a few seconds to look around. 

The god of creation destroys the Grimm like immediately after this scene. I wanted to point that out.

They mansplain immortality to the viewers. That’s literally mansplaining. Do they think we’re dumb? Salem can’t be that dumb, can she? Listen, I don’t WANT to straight out shit on RWBY’s writing anymore, but I really hate mansplaining. 

Alright, I get that the stabbing scene needs to be censored. I really do. But don’t let Salem walk around as if nothing happened in the EXACT same scene. There’s no cut, there’s no blood. If it had to be bloodless Salem, they could’ve transitioned from here. It feels like a small, unnecessary continuity error, but important either way. 

‘But it is nearly a remnant of what it once was’. I fucking LOVE this line, but if this was a shout-out to the world’s name it makes no sense unless edgy Salem thought ‘oh cool, that’s what I’m gonna name this planet now’. Actually that might be canon. Who knows.      

#this got longer than I expected #rwde

[ofphcenixes]

BLUE & LIBBY - text thread 001

texts from 3:55pm to 7:01pm

blue

hey lib. (: havent talked today. just wanted to drop in and see if u were doin alright i have memes if u need them

libby

i mean, technically we did talk. i reminded you of the moment the world stood still: when valentine and you made contact (1) time. are you okay though? you seem a little, weird

blue

i maintain that valentine was an alien in a spider suit that wanted to destroy me but u know what I mean djdjdjd just chats between us. the gc has been a june holden fest lately lmao hope it works out for them tho anyways i am always weird in ur eyes djdjhd. but im fine. shit was crazy that night and we never really got to talk about what happenedand if u wanted to talk i just want u to kno im here ABOUT NADIA bc yeah kdjdjjd

libby

don't talk to me or my son ever again yeah, wow, okay so holden stayed over the night. i only know that because i saw his stuff in her room? i think she mentioned that like, it was a one time thing but i feel like... he might be coming over again which.. is Interesting oh. yeah, no i think i'm okay. i guess just in shock. june is very broken up over it, so i'm doing my best to be a good pal, and bring loads of ice cream and kisses. /: do you wanna talk? about nadia? i know that she like, meant something to you

blue

ok good luck getting me to stop talkin to u but as for valentine? bye Felecia! is that right. hmm well he doesn’t seem like much is goin on so maybe they were just,, hanging out. bringing a bag over is pretty damning tho. and if he does come over and u see him tell that bih he owes me $ bc he ate my fucking chorizo salad ): r u proud lib?? I ate a salad by choice well I would have if Holden wasn’t a lil birch bitch DONT CENSOR ME fuck. im sorry. ): i actually wanted to see june today tbh. but if u need anyone pls let me know alright? id skip practice if u needed me, lib WELL. i mean ok i was sorta close with her in middle school and she’s always been a friend and I just. I’m just fucking numb tbh. I really can’t believe it

libby

i'll have you know that valentine died shortly after my 18th birthday so ): idk idk, why would they hang out in her room if they were "hanging out"? like they have history. i feel like thats, a little too ... suspicious given the context. in a good way though. like i hope it works out theyre both so miserable without each other. oh my god!! look at you go! so proud of you, dude! ( even if you never got to it lmao ) no, no, it's okay. june needs all the support she can get, and i don't wanna impede. i'm really fine, i just sort of need to accept it and i guess reflect on how terrible it is. she was a really sweet person and fuck i really cant believe any of it i guess

blue

fuck what kdjdjdnd I thought valentine just yeeted shit that’s not a good way to put it fuck but. im sorry lib ): ok I take it back Valentine was alright. still scared the fuck out of me tho all i know is that if i loved someone as much as holden loves june, i wouldn’t let you go **THEM fuck Damn phone Typos Djdjhdi can’t believe u make me eat green stuff its truly CRUEL whomst? I only know nadia just didn’t fucking deserve any of this. shit even daisey didn’t. i just want to protect everyone and i don’t know HOW it goes without saying that im happy to be ur uber driver for the indefinite future

libby

no omg, i took good care of my boy. idk what happened, they can live up to like 15 years so i was pretty bummed tbh. i was a bad mom he appreciates your support from the grave though i mean, i guess. but not everyone you love is going to love you back, i think that's where holden's at. not everyone wants to be clung to, and june seems reluctant besides, you know all about that. holden, the love of your life, loves june. how sad it's good for you!!! i'm helping i ... feel so badly for both of them. i can't imagine how their families must be feeling, fuck. i hate this. i'm moving to spain ah, dude you don't have to do all that. you probably are busy with practice, and holden, and work. thank you tho

blue

im sure ur a great mother. ): but still valentine was lucky to have u. and im sure he misses u in his weird spider heaven web of flies and whatever it is spiders like idk ill dm peter parker and find out i mean... guess that’s true. I suppose I dont get to see how june feels most of the time. i just wish they’d talk about it and sort it out at least. they both deserve to be happy holden is the loml that is true aksjjsjd. holden has enough room for both me and june in his heart. so i mean technically i can love someone else too?? but enough about that lmfao you definitely are helping. even coach has noticed dkdjd. making me better without even trying u can’t move without me who’s gonna get me free popcorn ): you’re just as important as practise and holden to me, lib.

libby

god, i miss him. you think the girls would be mad if i bought another one? like, to keep in my room.  i know! they're both obviously still in love, you can tell. i can't wait for them to overcome this and get to be together. also, im grateful for the amount of sleep i'm able to get now that... the room next to mine is less loud welp, i hope you find someone who is willing to share you with holden lol oMG, REALLY? IDK WHY THAT MADE ME IRRATIONALLY HAPPY LOL. WE CAN GET SALAD LATER let's go, we'll go to spain and take on a new identity. we can live along the coast and work in a bakery or something. get a puppy don't show holden that text he might cry. but dsjflk thank you, you're very important to me too. kinda my best pal

blue

u would have to ask. but if you did get another what would u call it? thanksgiving? funnily enough valentine is only a few weeks away. a sign?? i mean fuck ive known holden for years and can confirm he is happiest when he’s with june. when she’s not roasting him at least lmfao. and if my MasterPlan works im afraid things will get bad again djdjdj. I can take one for the team and try to get them to come over here tho - u don’t need to deal with that shit i hope i do too tbh. and who would I want it to be u ask? that’s right. danny devito. LETS NOT GET TOO CRAZY IVE ALREADY HAD THREE VEGETABLES THIS WERK AND ITS ONLY TUESDAY. I think it’s popcorn time 8) bold of u to assume i know where Spain is dkdjdjdjdj well he’s gonna catch on soon enough we spend every day together at this point lol

libby

i was gonna name this one patrick, after st patricks day actually lol. yes you know what's also approaching that is more important? your birthday! i know, it doesnt take a rocket scientist to figure that out. he's v much a relationship kinda dude, actually bc he's also kinda slutty lol. but even june is sad and its just, SO HARD. i hate when people are clearly, happiest together are like, nO IM GOING TO PROLONG THE MISERY. i feel like we're in a rom-com. how do we get them back together? i'll let him know. my v-day gift from me to you oooo, should i get the skittles ready too then? popcorn is kinda of a veggie if you think abt it omg, okay well now you can't come with me. offer rescinded. im going with the hot cop lslsfkjdjkldfs i mean its not like we're doing anything weird, so its okay, right?

blue

ur so cute wtf. although if u did do this i hope u know im calling him patrick star. also how the fuck do u tell if its a female or a male spider theyre so small and gross. fuck it is too lol. i dont have any money so im gonna let ppl down on the party front lmao. ud still come tho, right? how can he be both slutty and relationshippy. like not to be weird bc i know hes ur cousin and all dkfjgg but he doesnt.. have people over anymore. unless hes someone learned not to stomp around the house WHICH I DONT BELIEVE. and ha hA im already on plan 384 to get them back together get on my level lmao.  we just gotta force them to spend time together tbh. does that mean i have to give u the hot cop for valentines bc i mean. i would if that's what u wanted but im sure u can do much better than him OH FUCK UR RIGHT OUR WHOLE RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN A LIE TO CONVERT ME TO VEGGIES HASNT IT r u breaking up with me? well fine, ill take the dog ): it's... it's not weird unless we make it weird. and we haven't. have we?

libby

fdsjfjdsl shhhhh, back at you. Patrick Star will be his full name, i promise you this much. as for gender idfk, i am honestly assuming its pronouns lol. i'd be sued by the LGBT community if they knew. also dude, of course. i'll make you cupcakes. plus i know what i wanna buy you! i  can't wait dude what? really?? i thought he was seeing people this whole time, holy shit. dude he's really messed up over this huh? wow, okay, we need to kick this into high gear and have them get back together. tell me your plans. omg, no you clown. i don't even like him that much, he's just pretty. i do like... some personality and he has 0 GOD MY PLAN HAS BEEN FOILED. I CANT BELIEVE IT like i'd ever let you take the dog. she's mine sdfjlkdsfjlk iDK DUDE. I MAY HAVE MADE IT WEIRD BUT WE'RE BAD AT TALKING ABT STUFF, SO WE DONT HAVE TO LOL.

blue

do spiders even have gender i thought they were just the minions of evil lmfao lib u rly dont have to get me anything, really. altho now im curious tbh. but get ready for me to get a lit gift in june >:) ill even wrap it myself which says a lot bc i cant wrap for shit but i want it to be personal lmao not many that im aware of atm. will give u info is this changes. huh we r spies lib. >:) but i dont have any current plans except trying to force them to go in a photo booth together or something when we eventually go to the arcade djsjdh omg how did u know. but idk everyone speaks about him like hes gOD he’s just a dude. eyebrows on fleek tho I will say that IM SO HURT UD USE ME LIKE THIS LIB. ALL THIS TIME WE WERE GETTING CLOSE AND U WERE ONLY HERE FOR THE VEGGIES so u get Spain AND the dog. what do I get, sadness ???? you haven’t made it weird lib, i promise. not to me, anyway. maybe we both wanted the same thing. maybe. oR MAYBE NOT LMFAO but yeah we can talk about whatever lol

libby

don't talk about nate like that omg! i want to, plus its a surprise so no asking what it is. also wow i cant believe you remember my birthday, lol. you dont have to get me anything. you can buy me an ice cream though oh my gOD THAT'S BRILLIANT! aw, what if they take one of those cute kiss pictures in the photobooth like in the movies? i can't wait for them to love each other again, they're so cute. are you jealous that no one is talking about your eyebrows? you have nice eyebrows and nothing to be jealous abt GOD, IM SO SORRY. ROY HIRED ME. HE WAS WORRIED ABT YOUR HEALTH. IM SORRY YOU HAD TO FIND OUT THIS WAY. I THOUGHT YOU NEVER WOULD /: you get the memory of what we were to keep you warm right, cool. noted

blue

why do u talk about the string bean all the time i know u grew up with him but seriously he's like a pale pipe cleaner that i dont need in my life ofc i remeber ur birthday lib. dont u remember ur 10th?? probably the best day of my life lmao. and if u get me something i get u something thats how this works as long as june doesnt say anything mean and holden say anything stupid, its a pretty solid plan tbh. im not jealous HOW DARE ROY PLAY ME LIKE THIS. cant believe u betrayed me lib, after all we've been through ;-; but what if i want something to sell off now that u took the house oh fuck lib i didn't mean it like that. just... pretend i said nothing ok and. yeah talk about something else

libby

hey sorry, i gotta go. talk tomorrow.

blue

oh is everything ok? but alright talk tomorrow then i guess bye lib

libby

night

blue

its 6pm lib but okay night

blue

lib if i did something u dont have to tell me but pls know i didnt mean it, whatever it was. i hope youre okay. but i wont bother u again i promise. just. yeah

libby

it's okay, dude. i'm fine. it's honestly my own fault, it's not you. you're always great. i'm sorry. it's fine

blue

i dont understand what ur talking about but i can tell u dont want to so ill just... leave this. but you're always great too lib. the greatest, in fact. just let me know if ur still coming to the arcade later or not yeah

libby

i guess i'll go. i like pacman.

blue

if u... if u change ur mind i understand. but i really hope u can make it.

#( blue ; converse ! ) #( blue & libby ! ) #WE LOVE CRYING

[onghwangs]

now i'm curious! who's your personal top 11 vs what you want the top 11 to be?

Wow okay…my personal top 11 is comprised of ppl I foundenjoyable to watch and have fun cheering for, I’m a sucker for dumb fools and hiddenstorylines so yeah. 

But, man if they put this group together I would screambecause noooomg it would mostly be a comedy troupe than an idol group. theymight as well be called 10gagmen1straightman (10G1S)

(edited for guys in the top 59, in no particular order) 

yoon jisung- I likedhim ever since ep 1. I think that most, if not all of the trainees were chatteringaway during the auditions but I find that he seems to not really censor hismouth. I think a lot of the trainees are very and tense image conscious (theyshould be due to mnet) and Jisung (and the other MMO guys) were more relaxed. He’s funny but not offensive funny…Iremember like when Daehwi was explaining his avengers team, Jisung was likeyeah, go ahead and eat up all the popular members, Dahewi and JKKSJDKSJKJKSTHAT MAN. He seems like a genuinely fun and nice person to be a round, judgingby how he seems close to both his label-mates and his 10/10 group-mates….anyways📢📢📢I LVOETHIS MAN AND THAT ANTI WHO DM’D HIM TO GET HIM IN TROUBLE CAN SRSLY FCUK OFF!!!📢📢📢

kim taemin -  he was so cute in his intro vid but he was sonervous his voice was shaking so much lmao poor thing…. But im fucking….ifthere’s really a meme in this show, it’s taemin…everything they show of him, he’smaking a damn fool of himself. Him screaming in the hiddenbox thing, himfailing to do headstands, him dancing to nayana…yeah I lof the fool!! What reallymade me like him was him acting so surprised and happy when someone called hisname wayyyy back during the first nayana perf. Like….he seemed so amazed to have fans lmao what a gem. He’salso quite photogenic too.

Ong seongwu – THEBEST ALL ROUNDER IMO???????????? He’s a good singer ( hE WAS ONE OF THE 6TRAINEES THAT SANG PICK ME! WITHOUT HIM THERE WOULD BE NO NAYA NA), a great dancer, already has charisma and is hotwhile being complete dork? Amazing. I really adore him and his three moles and I’msuper worried for when the 1-pick voting comes because he doesn’t seem to havea lot of individual fans (someone prove me wrong pls)

Park Jihoon –yeah that wink got me shook. But yeah, srsly speaking, his wink did catch myeye but I thought he was going to be wayyyyyy to cute-ish for my tastes. I wassurprised by the way he carried himself (cute, but not too much, he seems to bevery calm too).  I think he’s skilled butcan improve much more (esp his singing) so I look forward to his improvement!! @mnetI’m still waiting for his angry clip L I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I WOULD BUY ALL THELIPBALM HE NEEDS, JUST TELL ME WHAT BRAND U WANT BOY, I”LL GET U A SUPPLY SOBIG THEY’LL OFFER U AN ENDORSEMENT DEAL

Kim Yehyeon – He seemslike a really sweet guy and this story is what basically made me stan him (andgave him that 39+ rank rise) my boy is a fuckin saint he went to the emergencyroom because he was too overworked and he had to perform Be Mine will injured..T_T He did not almost die for no screentime and continuous repeats and zoom-insof ppl gulping….anyways he’s also dumb, you should support 

Lee Junwoo – an actualbaby!!!!!!!! He caught my eye in episode 0 but I totally forgot who he wasuntil I saw his famous TATATA dance. What I liked about him was that he didn’t completelygive up after messing up and he kept on going hard @ the dance (he even made itto a C despite those mistakes!) he’s an awesome dancer and has good expressions!I really look forward to seeing his Shape of You stage (I think) I heard it wassupposed to be real good. I’m also screaming because he looks like a baby is ashuge as an elephant IRL 184CM HOOOLLLLLY

kim yongguk – I gotto know him because of that pann post and I support and adore him so much butnot as much as kim sihyun does!!!!! He’s a pretty nice vocalist and pretty goodsinger..but I think because baekho stole the entire stage, it’s hard to judgehis stage presence,  I really do lookforward to seeing his stage and seeing him be more of a savage!

Ahn hyungseop – Ilove him, he’s such a textbook slyth, he even expressed disappointment ingetting a lower rank than before. I can see why ppl don’t like him (similar todaehwi) but I really do adore him and his quirky ways. While I think he’s agood performer, I do think he would be more a B-rank rather than A. I’m stillnot quite convinced of his singing just yet….

Joo Haknyeon – tbh,I feel like he was born to be an idol with a face like that, I think it has amore idol-ish feel than Jihoon’s. I find that he’s a really decent dancer too!I do wish he had a better audition song…like why’d u choose that song and b-boyto it omf. He seems to be a total sweetheart as well! Hanywayz…..i wanna seemore of his friendship with ong, they seem to be good friends as well Y_Y @mnetGIV EHIM MORE SCREENTIME.

Yoo Seonho – it’sa surprised to me how much I like him?? He’s so cute and harmless lmao. I can totallysee why he was casted, along with guanlin, and sent out despite being only trainees for 6 months. they will super popular in thefuture (if cube doesn’t fuck up). I’m not really expecting much from him, beinga 6 month trainee, but he did surprisingly ok in sorry sorry compared to hisexperience, I’m looking forward to seeing his next stage. He also seems to be agreat guy, judging by his fanaccs and activities.

Yeo Hwanung – he’sa great dancer and stable vocalist, why is he being slepton?????????????????????? He seems super sweet and patient with Justin too likegoing through the notes together…

Notable mentions: everyone else, I fucking love and support all of them!!!!!! I just find these 11 really interesting at the moment.

—

 hennyways……here’s my top final 11 AKA B.O.I. …sorta. I thinkit’ll probably change after the next eps as people come to prove themselvesmore!! But this group, I’ll be pretty comfortable with them debuting and confident that they will be able to handle different concepts, all can carry their weight, etc. (in noparticular order)

Ong Sungwoo – HAHAHAHA iLL SERIOUSLY QUIT THIS GROUP IF ONGDOESN’T GET IN LIKE SRSLY HE’S GOT IT ALL I’m SO FUKCING SCARED OF HIS FUTURE THAT’SHOW MUCH I LOVE HIM???

Kang Daniel – He’s another well rounder. So he seems like areal sweet person but he ( along with Ong ) don’t really seem to take shit fromppl and I like that they speak there mind, though I want him to be careful ofhis actions as well LMAO. He’s also a fuckn miracle worker, my friend went fromdisliking him in ep2 to being a full stan by ep5 so I think he seems to be aperson that would keep fans engaged for a long time.

 Park Jihoon – Yeah, I’m kinda being biased, but he’d doreal well as a stan attractor! He dancing is good and I feel like he’ll improveon his singing soon….okay enough…

Kim Jaehwan – holyyy shit his voice is sooo good. All theguys in sorry sorry team 2 were good, but the dude carried the vocals for histeam, lbr. Im sincerely hoping he pulls up into the final 11, the vocals would get a huge upgrade holy shit son.

 Im Youngmin – alpacaaaaa aaaaaa!! He’s growing on me somuch and seems to be a very kind person, teaching the be mine moves foreveryone. I love that group so much, they seem genuinely close to each other !!  His rapping is good and he seems to be quitecharismatic on stage

Kim Taedong – His jump from F to A holyyyy shit whattaman!!!  His moves are sharp and he’s astable singer, I’m really liking what I’m seeing from him so far. I think he’s real idol material and he seems likea complete dork too, I loff!!!!!!

Yoon Heeseok, lmaoooo he’s also another living meme. He’san excellent singer, I really want him to work on his dancing a bit though but heseems to be improving quite nicely, from F-B. his shoulders are also killer.

Lee Daehwi – Another all-rounder. He doesn’t deserve thehate he gets, I honestly hope he makes it, he has the skills and personality tomake it into the idol world. He’s a sweet boy.

-(wildcards) x 3

 lmao okay I cheated, it’s because I haven’t fully decidedyet….i still wanna see more perfs Lbut here are a list of guys I would love to see in the final line up as well.

Wildcards:

from my personal top 11: jisung, yongguk, hyungseob, hwanung,anyone that shows they’ve got what it takes/improves immensely

vocals: sewoon, hoeseung, woodam, gwanghyun(???), donghyun,dongsu, kiwon, keonhee, seonglee. youjin

rap: woo jinyoung, namhyung, big woojin

dance: hyunmin, eunki, kenta, samuel, kim donghan

nu’est, hotshot members: I’m reallllllllly conflicted inthis. In a perfect world, they don’t make it in the top 11 but their companiesgive them comebacks they need and the make it big and win awards and it’s the perfectcomeback story lmao…but I’ll still be happy with any of them in the line up aswell

wow i’m sorry i wrote too long jdksajd

#asks #anon #this is truly too long im sorry i shortened it lmao #im sorry for typos i'll come back and edit later #produce 101

[sambaguy]

Samba Guy Goes On A Date

I have an iPhone 6 Plus and go to Coachella every year. I’m thinking about starting a blog and have been really into standup lately. I have a favorite microbrewery because I like my beer really hoppy, whatever that means. I have a fun Twitter feed and interesting theories about what could happen on House of Cards. Clearly, I am no slouch in the ladies department. I mean, I am funny, cultured, well dressed and well read, and any girl would take pride in dating a guy who is so keenly cool. And I have a ton of platonic female friends in my friend group. But, alas, the last few months have been what people in comedies would probably call a dry spell. Hard as it is to believe, I haven’t been with a girl in a long time.

I was devastated when my ex and I stopped seeing each other, except for the fact that when we stopped seeing each other, we couldn’t stop seeing each other, because we followed each other on Twitter and Instagram and were friends on Facebook. So I saw her all the time, her grinning profile picture shadowing my feed. “Unfollow her!” my roommates would roar. “You’re never going to get over her unless you unfollow her on all that stuff.” But I couldn’t. There was something so enthralling about being able to track her social life. Was she seeing someone else? I had to know. Besides, unfollowing her was too dramatic. Remaining friends on social media, however, showed I was unfazed, cool, chill and whatever. But I wasn’t any of those things. I’d find myself scrolling through her tweets and Instagram posts at 2 a.m., drunk. Her Instagram always included photos of other men. Men who, I could only assume, were better than me, knew more about album releases than I did, and had better takes to offer off-handedly during important cultural events, like the Billboard Awards (BTW, props to whoever booed Kanye and Kendal and Kylie, like seriousy it’s about time and LMAO at the censoring). Finally sensing the craziness of all this, I clicked “unfollow” and then “unfriend.” With this tiny act of defiance, I was finally free. “This is closure,” I told myself. “This is moving on.”

So it’s time to get back out there. I’ve been trying. Whenever I’m out with my friends at concerts or even just breweries, I try to talk to as many as possible. I don’t get a lot of positive responses—it’s surprisingly harder than you’d think to find a girl who shares my taste in music and opinions about shows (they need to at least be as caught up as I am because I tend to let the spoilers fly, especially when I’ve had a few beers and am excited by the prospect of someone of the fairer sex actually liking Game of Thrones or whatever show is being discussed at the moment). So many girls only listen to pop and not even critically, like they just don’t even know what they’re listening to. I guess that’s what I’m really looking for, at the end of the day, a girl that really knows her stuff. Like a needle in a haystack I’m afraid. But every once in a blue moon there’s that spark. And it’s truly magical.

I felt that spark last weekend when my friends and I were at a St. Vincent concert. It was there that I met Ellen, the girl who is going to be my date tonight and who, if I play my cards right, might even be my girlfriend. But I’m getting ahead of myself. So there I am with my roommates and we’re all standing around the bar. St. Vincent hasn’t started yet and they’re playing Girlpool over the speakers as the between-set music. It sounds pretty good and it takes me only about 45 seconds to recognize it. I turn to my friend Erik and point a finger at the ceiling, the universal sign for “You listening to this? This is good” (if that’s not in the ASL alphabet, they’re doing it wrong). Erik nods and leans closer to me.

“Trust me,” I tell him. “You’ll see this artist on the Coachella lineup in two years.”

Just then, a girl who was standing against the bar turns to us. She’s attractive and wearing a dark blue top with some pretty big jewelry around her neck.

“You know Girlpool?” she says to me, but kind of looking at the whole group. Clearly, there is a lot of mutual impressed-ness happening between all of us. But she was talking to me.

“Oh, yeah,” I tell her. I’m playing it cool now. “They’re pretty great.” She smiles at me and moves closer, now addressing me only and not so much the group. Already I’m feeling like something could happen here.

“They’re amazing,” she says. “Probably the most heartening band I’ve heard in a long, long time. It’s such special music.” She looks away for a second. “I can’t believe you like them, or even know about them.” Laughing.

“Yeah,” I say. “You’ll see this artist on the Coachella lineup in two years.”

“I already have my ticket,” she says and laughs.

“Really?” I’m instantly jarred back into reality. “When did they announce the lineup? Is presale available already?”

She looks confused for a second and then laughs again.

“You’re funny,” she says. I’m racking my brain for any recent Coachella news I remember seeing. Tickets cannot be available yet. That’s not possible. That’s almost a year from now. I fight the urge to take out my phone and check right now.

“I’m Ellen,” she says, sticking out her hand.

“Tom,” I say, startled.

“Tom,” she murmurs. “Nice to meet you.” I am at a total loss. I can’t focus on anything now. I take a sip of my beer to buy me some time. Ellen is still looking at me.

“You like these guys?” I say, motioning with my pint glass around the venue, indicating St. Vincent.

“Who? St. Vincent? Yeah, totally, she’s amazing, she’s such a badass.” I notice my friends have sort of dispersed into the crowd.

“So badass,” I say, taking another sip of beer and nodding. Just then, St. Vincent comes out on stage and it’s gets loud in here. We are jostled by everyone around us moving closer to the front. I feel, somehow, rooted to the spot, connected to Ellen. I don’t know what to do next. A group of girls come up to Ellen and engulf her. She looks at me and waves and disappears into the crowd. I’m by myself now and don’t see my friends anywhere.

When St. Vincent (pretty good) is over I’m still waiting on the outskirts of the crowd. I can’t believe that’s how it’s going to end with the Potential Girl of My Dreams. I craned my neck to look for her the entire time but couldn’t really see her and didn’t want to be totally creepy and track her down in the audience. My friends come back.

“Where were you, dude?” Aaron says. “We were like four feet back from the stage. So awesome.”

“I know,” I say. I look around one more time for Ellen as we all make our way out into the warm night and then to Erik’s Forester.

“Tom!” I hear a high voice behind me. I turn and see Ellen walking away from her friend group toward me. Under a street lamp I can see her better. She has brown hair and bangs and a round face.

“Hey,” I say, sort of breaking away from my friends as well. “There you are. You totally…vanished.”

“My friends wanted me with them since I basically dragged them here,” she says, laughing. Then, seeing my grave face, she adds, “Sorry though.”

“No problem.” I shake my head. Silence. “Do you want to have dinner with me?” I say quickly. “We could…talk more about…Girlpool,” I add, in what I hope sounds like an appealingly suggestive way.

“Yeah, of course, yeah,” she says. “Yeah.” She takes out her phone and hands it to me. “Put yourself in there.”

I do and then she texts me so I have her number. I add a new contact: Ellen. I look at the name on my phone and smile and then I look at the girl in front of me and it falters.

“Text me,” she says. “I have to go.”

“I will,” I say. In the backseat of Erik’s Forester, my thigh squished up against Derek’s, craft-beer-drunk and riding home, I tweet an innocuous Drake lyric.

                                                             * * *

That was last weekend. I texted her two days later and after some clutch icebreakers (“Hi it’s Samba Guy, the Girlpool guy from the St. Vincent show last weekend”) we made a plan to meet at a ramen place she knew about this coming Friday, A.K.A. tonight. I’m getting ready, putting on my brand new shoes, which arrived just in time, and––most importantly––taking an extra large dose of serum. I can’t think of anything worse than transforming in front of Ellen’s face on our very first date (not that I intend to ever let her see that happen ever). I pick out a pretty nice looking sweater that’s still casual enough for a first date but looks like I obviously put effort into my appearance. I borrow Erik’s Forester and I’m out the door. I play Run The Jewels to get me pumped up and then when I’m a block away from Ellen’s building I switch it to Girlpool to really set the mood. I pull head first into a huge spot (I’m a pretty bad parallel parker and I’m stressed enough as it is!) that’s luckily vacant and jump out of the car. I send her a text saying I’m outside. Twenty minutes later Ellen comes out onto the sidewalk wearing jeans and a green shirt with an interesting neck area and big necklace.

“Hey,” she says. “Sorry I wasn’t ready, and my friend’s were like freaking out.”

“Not a problem,” I say. I passed the twenty minutes catching up on some Stereogum: there’s a new Run the Jewels parody thing that big-name artists are getting involved with called “Meow the Jewels.” They’ve raised a bunch of money for it already on Kickstarter. It’s absurd, but that’s the point. It’s like a joke turned reality. “You look great.”

We drive to the ramen place. Ellen either doesn’t notice or doesn’t comment on Girlpool playing at a good volume in the car. I ask if she’s seen the Mad Men finale yet. She says she still needs to watch the last few seasons first. I smile to myself. There’s a strong smoky almost medicinal smell I can’t place coming off of her clothes. “That’s cool,” I say. “It was really good.” She’s on her phone for the rest of the car ride.

Inside the ramen place it’s packed and noisy and a stressed-out looking middle aged woman is seating people and taking down names for the waitlist. I tell Ellen I’ll go put our name in. It’s about a twenty-five minute wait. I come back to where Ellen is standing by the glass wall and stand next to her. “Twenty-five minutes, she said,” I say. “Want to wait?”

“Where else would we go?” All around us, seated and standing, are other couples. I don’t see anyone I recognize but I feel nervous and exposed. I have no idea what to say to Ellen. I wish dinner was over and I was at home.

“I don’t know,” I say. “We could wait outside?”

“Sure,” she says. We step outside, me keeping the door open as she walks out in front of me. Another couple comes in as I’m still holding the door. The girl knows Ellen.

“Hiiiii,” she says to Ellen. “What are you doing here? I can’t believe this, hi.”

“Heyyyyyyyy,” Ellen says. “How are you! What’s up, have you been here before?”

“Yeah, we come here like a lot,” the girl says, motioning to the guy, who is now talking the middle aged hostess. “It’s amazing.” I smile at her and look straight ahead. Ellen makes no mention of me. I’m still holding the door open. The girl is still sort of standing in the walkway, Ellen is on the sidewalk.

“What’re you doing later,” the girl asks.

“No idea,” Ellen says. “Why? Are you guys gonna be around?”

“Yeah girl,” she says. “It’s likely. Text me later.” She goes inside and walks to a table where the guy is already sitting, his jacket around the back of the chair, looking at his phone. He puts it down when the girl sits down. Ellen sees this happen. It occurs to me they take reservations.

“You should have made reservations,” Ellen says to me. “It is a Friday.”

Twenty minutes later we’re sitting at a small table in the humid back corner of the restaurant. The glass wall against our table is fogged with condensation. Ellen draws boobs in it. And then adds a shaft, turning it into a dick and balls.

“I’m glad we could do this,” I’m saying. “It’s great to see you again.”

“Yeah,” she says. “I didn’t think you’d text me.” I don’t know what this means. I try to change course.

“You listened to Girlpool lately?” I ask. Ellen looks at me for a moment, placing something.

“Not really,” she says finally, excruciatingly. Another pause. She seems to decide something else. “So what’d you do?”

“I work at a start-up,” I say. “It’s called Winyl, it like pairs drinks with the perfect music.”

Imperceptible interest registers on Ellen’s face. I continue: “Like what’s the best song to play while drinking this IPA, that kind of thing…”

“So what would you pair with this right now?” she says, pointing at her ice water.

“Well I’m not sure, I mean, the app uses like an algorithm. You either input the drink, or you let it listen to the music. It can pair it both ways.”

“Can I see your phone?” she asks abruptly. I hesitate. “I want to try it in here.”

“Oh, it’s not done yet. Like it’s not an app yet. I’m sort of helping out on a freelance basis.” Another long pause. I look up at her. I realize her eyes are green and not blue (the glow of her phone had thrown off their true color) and say, “Do you have Snapchat?”

“No,” she says. “I’m old-school.”

“Oh,” I say. “I respect that.” And then: “There’s a new Run the Jewels parody thing that big-name artists are getting involved with called ‘Meow the Jewels,’” I tell her. “They’ve raised a bunch of money for it already on Kickstarter. It’s absurd, but that’s the point. It’s like a joke turned reality.”

“That’s rad,” she says. “That’s actually rad.” I smile at her and she looks right at me. It feels as if all the most exciting parts of a new relationship have combined with all the ease and familiarity of an old friend. The effect is something like spiked hot chocolate: warm, comforting, intoxicating.

“Do you know who Lord Huron is?” she says. I feel her foot nudge mine.

                                                             * * *

After dinner, I’m feeling sick from the ramen and my face and head is sweaty. I pay the check and we get up slowly and walk outside, emerging into the cool and actually very pleasant night. A dog is barking somewhere and the sun is just setting over San Francisco. We’re walking to the car now and I’m not sure what’s going to happen. I’m much more comfortable now, but now that we’re back in motion, in a new and uncertain environment, I don’t know what the next step is supposed to be. I decide to say nothing and just see what happens. In the Forester we sit for a moment. I almost speak––wonder aloud what we should do––when Ellen asks, “Have you seen the new Game of Thrones yet? I still need to watch it. We could do that. I don’t want this night to end yet. My roommates have HBOGo.”

“I actually haven’t,” I lie. “That sounds awesome.” Ellen actually looks excited. I smile at her and start the car. She plugs her iPhone into the tape adapter and “I Love You, Honeybear” by Father John Misty starts playing. How sexy is that?

– Samba Guy, May 18, 2015

#sambaguy #archive #vintageguy