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katrinawritesthings · 4 years

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Jonghyun/Taemin; Flashbabe; PG

happy Pride fellow gays here’s superhero Jonghyun going to Pride. He has light super powers it’s like Flashbang except he’s a babe

hey I wrote this last year and put it in the queue in like December so I definitely apologize that he's not 7000% more anti-pig lmao

One shirt is covered with diagonal rainbow stripes, including the black and brown stripes, and says, in big, bold letters, “Pride was and is a riot.” The other one is pink and just says simply, “fuck cops” in all black caps.

“The back of this one says cops don't belong at Pride, too,” Jonghyun says brightly, turning it to demonstrate.

“Hey boo—which one?”

Taemin looks up from his laptop, at Jonghyun walking in from the bedroom holding up two shirts. Taemin assumes that he's going to put them on over his superhero outfit, because otherwise he probably wouldn't already be wearing the stylish black and white and aqua accented suit. He never wears it at home unless he's planning to go out in it. His mask and shades are both tucked into the collar of his suit’s long sleeve shirt as well, which further leads to that conclusion. Taemin raises his eyebrows.

“You're going in the suit?” he asks. This whole time when Jonghyun was talking about going to Pride, Taemin thought he meant like, as a normal average mild-mannered citizen. Not as Flashbabe. Jonghyun nods, though, wiggling his booty in his comfy super suit skinny’s and flexing one arm to show off his beefy bicep.

“Yeah,” he says. “all of my little queers out there need to know that I'm fighting for them specifically.” he winks at the end of that sentence and Taemin rolls his eyes. That's true, he guesses, and also cute. Jonghyun holds up the shirts again, wiggling them insistently. “Which one?” he asks again.

This time Taemin actually looks them over. One is covered with diagonal rainbow stripes, including the black and brown stripes, and says, in big, bold letters, “Pride was and is a riot.” The other one is pink and just says simply, “fuck cops” in all black caps.

“The back of this one says cops don't belong at Pride, too,” Jonghyun says brightly, turning it to demonstrate. Taemin nods in approval. Both are good, but. Hmm.

“You're going to be on the news when you go,” he says slowly. “They'll censor that fuck in the pictures.” He knows that they will. They'll probably even censor the whole shirt. Jonghyun frowns, looking at the shirt with disappointment.

“You're right,” he says sadly. He tosses in the shirt over the back of the couch, and then puts the other shirt on right there. “I can just say fuck cops out loud when I get there anyway,” he says, voice muffled as he struggles to get his head through it. When he pops his head out of the collar, his wide grin is lopsided and dazzling. “They can beep me out but everyone will still know what I said.” he says.

“Hell yeah,” Taemin grins. Jonghyun throws him a finger pistol as he fishes his mask and sunglasses out from his collar.

“Sure you don't want to come, boo?” he asks. His voice is a little hopeful but not so much that Taemin feels guilty for shaking his head. It's too loud and crowded and hot out there and he knows his feet will hurt after like twenty minutes. And Jonghyun knows this, because he nods back with an accepting little shrug.

“I was going to watch the livestream when BoA starts performing, though,” Taemin says, tapping the screen of his laptop. No fucking way would he miss that. Jonghyun nods again, looking at his mask as he fumbles with it and tries to figure out which way is the right way to put it on.

“When is that, like an hour?” he asks, pulling the mask over his head so it covers his hair down to his nose, still showing off his mouth and perfectly framing his lovely jaw. Even though his mask has custom sunglass lenses built into it, he also pulls out a neon aqua pair of regular sunglasses and crams those onto his face as well. When Taemin makes an affirming little noise he makes a clicky noise with his mouth and ticks up an okay symbol with both hands.

“I gotta go hit up Kibs soon, then,” he says, “so I can bug him to draw me pan stripes and gender-fluid stripes on my cheeks before she starts so I can get there on time. Fuck, and Minho has my glittery high heel boots also, they were going on about tinkering with their armor to make them like bouncier or something?” Taemin can't see his eyes roll, but he rolls his whole head so Taemin knows that he did it. “You know how it takes them forever to do anything,” he mutters. Taemin giggles. He does. Or, well, he knows that Jonghyun thinks that Minho takes forever. He also knows that Jonghyun has approximately three seconds of patience before he starts getting annoyed.

“Are you leaving now then?” he asks. He looks like he's ready. Jonghyun hums, fixes his shirt around his waist, rocks back on his heels and then forward onto his toes.

“One more thing I gotta do,” he smiles. He flounces to the couch that Taemin is laying on, bends over the back of it, leans close, and presses a gross, slobbery, wet smooch to his forehead. “Love you, boo,” he chirps. Taemin makes his most disgruntled noise and turns to wipe his head on the couch cushion. He also reaches up to hold Jonghyun’s hand for a few seconds fondly.

“Have fun, lovey,” he says, tacking on the nickname just to watch Jonghyun’s cheeks literally glow pink. He sees it for just a few seconds before Jonghyun hides his face in his hands and stands up, but it's enough.

“Oh my gosh,” Jonghyun whispers. “Bye boo. I'll see you later.” And with that, he disassembles into a sparky ball of light, zapping into the lamp next to the couch, and then to the night light by the front door, and then outside into the closest street light, which Taemin assumes he's going to follow all the way up to Kibum’s apartment. He is incredibly certain that by the time he zaps himself unannounced into Key’s living room he'll be glowing pink all over.

The next time Taemin sees Jonghyun, it's when Flashbabe appears at Pride by zapping himself on top of a street lamp right over the stage float. He sits there, extremely visible in the livestream camera, faintly glowing through a cycle of soft rainbow colors and waving around at the crowd. He ignores all of the news reporters that catch wind of him and try to grab him for an interview, but when BoA, mid performance set, notices him and calls him to the stage, he zaps himself directly into one of the stage lights and drops down easily.

BoA hands him the mic and he gives a nice little speech about Pride and his identity and how he'll always do his best to protect his favorite little queers and wraps It up by zapping to sit on top of the stage float, pointing over at a group of cops on the sidelines, and saying, “Fuck y'all.”

Then he drops the mic down to BoA and teleports away, zipping from street lamp to street lamp, from float to float, to some of the marchers’ glow up accessories and outfits. Taemin just watches the concert . He doesn't have the energy to check all the news and the social media sites and whatever to keep himself updated on where exactly Jonghyun is right at every moment. He knows that his babe is out there having fun and supporting himself and protecting people. And he knows that Jonghyun will be back later to flop on top of him and give him just as much love and attention as he does everyone else.

#jongtae #jonghyun #taemin #pg #flashbabe au #fantasy #the hero we deserve but not the cishets #he goes out and robs rich people and then glows pan flag colors as he redistributes it to the gays hell yeah #hell yeah #cops hate but it's okay because he hates them too #key is his outfit guy and minho is his tech guy and jinki is his government contact guy and taemie is his boyfriend :)#gays happy pride yall yee haw #Jong calling him boo is very important

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gadgetsrevv · 5 years

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Barcelona are in crisis. Here’s how Valverde can turn Messi, Suarez & Co. around

Hands up if you’re loving every second of Barcelona’s ever-deepening crisis of faith, hapless away form and evident bewilderment, as every rival now plays them with the conviction that Spain’s champions are there for the taking.

You’re not alone. It’s one of sport’s most enduring storylines, as teams that have lain waste to all opponents before them with absolute inevitability then wane, decline and get pulverised. It’s not a matter of “maybe,” only a matter of how well you prepare and cope. “Nothing’s more certain than death, taxes and the collapse of possession football if it’s not properly cared for,” as Benjamin Franklin surely meant to say.

For that reason there will be widespread glee about Barcelona’s sudden vulnerability, far further than among Madridistas, Espanyol fans and anyone of a Manchester United, Juventus or Arsenal persuasion who still resents either the manner or just the pain of those three Champions League final defeats since 2006.

– Hunter: Ansu Fati proves ‘Barca DNA’ as strong as ever – Marcotti’s Musings: Catch up with the weekend action – Ogden: Why Man United’s owners won’t care about bad results

People find it fascinating, even enjoyable, when mighty edifices crumble and fall. They call it “Schadenfreude” in German, a deliciously malicious enjoyment of someone else’s woes. Football has, metaphorically, become such a bloodlust sport that there will be many who think that the only feasible remedy is to accept Ernesto Valverde’s mea culpa on Saturday night after Barca lost in Granada for the first time since 1972 and sack him.

(A fun stat: Barça has lost there five times in club history, and every time it happened, they failed to win La Liga that season.)

During the buildup to Tuesday’s Camp Nou meeting between La Liga’s highest scoring teams thus far, with Villarreal matching Barca’s 12 goals after five games, Valverde accepted the reality of his side’s malaise. “Coaches are always fighting against the sack. That’s not a novelty for me or any of my peers. Given the job I’ve got, it’s results that dictate [my fate]. If Barca aren’t leaders, then the manager’s under intense scrutiny. But two good results can end a ‘crisis.'”

A couple of weeks ago Messi admitted, “I think everyone worried that the coach might be sacked at the end of last season because we didn’t meet our objectives, but it was more the players’ fault than his.”

The problems with Valverde

Three things are true of Valverde. First, while Barcelona were bristling with steely ambition and their key leaders were fit and on form, his “light hand on the tiller” approach to management was perfect. Just look at the good haul of trophies since he took over.

Secondly, now that the seas are extremely stormy, his style of coaching — specifically the “pact” he struck with the squad leaders that rather than him being the outright boss (like an Alex Ferguson), he’d be primus inter pares, aka “first among equals” — will need an upgrade. That he struck such a deal with Messi, Sergio Busquets, Gerard Pique and Luis Suarez made sense: His was the ultimate responsibility, but it was an extremely benign, consultative dictatorship.

It’s a long way of saying that Valverde reckoned, “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” It worked a treat … up to a point. Now it’s out of date. Things are broken. They’re fixable but cracked.

The third thing that’s true of Valverde, I’d argue, is that he isn’t enjoying his work as much as he once did.

Yeah, I hear you: boo-hoo-hoo. He’s well paid, and he knew the stresses and potential indignities of managing a huge, often self-destructive and deeply divided club such as FC Barcelona. You’re playing the world’s smallest violin in sympathy for him, right? But this is a decent, hard-working guy who’s respected by the large majority of his squad, simply doing the same things that won him six trophies (and a UEFA Cup runners-up medal with Espanyol) before he took over at Barca.

He’s not a dud. He is not someone to be dissed lightly, nor is sacking him the real solution to what’s been going wrong.

Ernesto Valverde needs to change his tactics to get the best out of his team.

The flaws are easy to list and interdependent. Fundamental to Barcelona’s producing a brand of football that was hellish to combat and made them if not unique then brand leaders was positional play. Intricate, demanding and intelligent play that required both discipline and intelligence. Yet it has been abandoned by the club, in the first team at least, for some considerable time.

Eventually, under someone such as Xavi perhaps, it’ll be restored, but will there be competent students to impose it?

That’s an intriguing question for the future. Positional play helps possession play, as does the availability of Xavi and Andres Iniesta. Gradually, Barcelona’s actual amounts of possession have declined, but much more startling has been the decline in strategy for why possession is important: what you can do with it to punish the opposition. In the cases of some players, “possession” has begun to mean “running with the ball” rather than letting the ball do the work. It’s anathema to the Frank Rijkaard, Johan Cruyff, Pep Guardiola and Tito Vilanova school of thought.

Barcelona are not anywhere near as tough — whether physically, spiritually, athletically or competitively — as they were in the era when they could count on Puyol, David Villa, Samuel Eto’o, Iniesta, Xavi, Dani Alves, Pedro, Seydou Keita, Yaya Toure or Eric Abidal. Gradually — and I think this is an inescapable truth — they’ve gotten a little softer. The mix of technique, brains, character, strength, athleticism and height declined across the first-team squad.

There’s also less pace. Several of those players who would feature in most people’s “best XI” of the current squad are actively short of pace, either in explosive sprints or over a foot race. When the ball isn’t moving quickly, this becomes a far greater Achilles’ heel.

President Josep Bartomeu has been pretty obsessed with passing the buck, whether it existed or not, to the guys who did his football planning: Andoni Zubizarreta, Robert Fernandez, Pep Segura and the exceptional Joan Vila, three of whom should have been retained. Now he’s left with an imbalanced squad in which two of the three full-backs, Junior Firpo and Nelson Semedo, aren’t good enough, in which there’s that lack of pace and in which no one seems to have planned for the fact that the only centre-forward turns 33 in January, carries extra weight, struggles to get away from defenders and hasn’t scored away from home in the Champions League in four years.

Luis Suarez remains an astonishingly clever, competitive and successful footballer, but the lack of strategy to replace him or make him compete for his place has shown either incompetence or fear of upsetting his major stakeholder, Messi.

Barcelona need to change formations

Let me propose a solution for Barcelona supporters. It’s a good one too. Hopefully Valverde is reading this.

Apart from the instincts that Pique, Busquets, Jordi Alba and perhaps Arthur are still imbued with, the whole position-possession-pressing thing that made the modern Barca famous, admired and successful has pretty much departed, meaning that the 4-3-3 they currently play is out-of-date. It’s a touchstone of the philosophy that, in due course, Victor Valdes, Puyol, Xavi and perhaps even Jordi Cruyff could reinstate, but right now, it’s a relic.

Barcelona, away from home, simply do not possess the means to make that formation effective. It’s a strength turned weakness. The solution is a 4-2-3-1. That formation is not a magical formula in itself but is a good fit for Barca’s playing staff while addressing current weaknesses and turning them into strengths.

Frenkie De Jong would benefit from a switch in formation at Barcelona as he continues to gel with his new team.

Frenkie De Jong was always going to require time to settle in and develop. He’s 22 with only 12 Champions League matches and fewer international caps. But most of his impressive football at Ajax was part of the pivotal partnership in a 4-2-3-1. Let him enjoy that role next to Busquets (on rotation with Arthur/Rakitic and so on).

Busquets benefitted hugely from Ivan Rakitic playing as a “double-pivot” next to him for large parts of the past two seasons. In fact, Valverde’s Barcelona were often lined up in a 4-4-2 last term. De Jong can be Busquets’ bodyguard now.

Another new signing, Antoine Griezmann, doesn’t like playing as a winger or very much as centre-forward. But right now, he could easily play as a No. 9 in front of Ousmane Dembele, Messi and Fati Ansu until Suarez trains away a kilo or two. After that, Barca could run Suarez at No. 9 with permutations of Messi coming in off the right, Griezmann in the middle of the three and Ansu or Dembele on the left. That not only could augment the chance creation but also would offer Valverde the option of installing a high press.

The 4-2-3-1 formation probably asks the full-backs to fly forward far less than, say, Alba currently does. But with Alba and Roberto edging forward into midfield to flank Busquets and De Jong, a mixture of Pique, Jean-Clair Todibo, Clement Lenglet and Samuel Umtiti as the alert, high-line centre-backs and Marc-Andre ter Stegen happy to play the “sweeper-keeper” role, there are far more solutions than new problems.

Valverde has had the chutzpah to try to find solutions by dropping Busquets, promoting Ansu and Carles Perez and mysteriously giving Rakitic the kind of limited minutes that suggest he was either caught swearing in church or singing the Real Madrid anthem in the showers.

The burning question now is whether Valverde also the chutzpah to accept that 4-3-3 is now making his team weaker and change formation.

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#Articles #Barcelona #Spanish Primera División Barcelona are in crisis. Here’s how Valverde can turn

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