Kids these days who think that being a bard is just about swinging swords and playing lutes disgust me. Where’s the pizzazz? The showmanship? The seduction??
My one friend group can't stop saying, "See you in hell!" in a cheerful voice instead of, "Talk to you later!" and my other friend group can't stop calling things "penis" instead of "cool" or "good", so I just unironically uttered the phrase, "Sounds penis, see you in hell," as I got off the phone.
Brother Gregor never spoke and often spooked the neophytes with his appearance, but he was a gentle soul and a phenomenal cook and knew more ways to prepare a fish than the abbot knew hymns
that mcelroy final pam clip is gonna get my ass in trouble one day because ANY time a baby/young child starts crying or fussing at work, i think of 2 things.
"baby needs snack" (which is very fun to say while advancing on them with cracker packs, doing the voice almost always gets a laugh) and
"i take a hammer and fix the baby" which i absolutely cannot say out loud in public ever or i go to fucking jail