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Marina Tsvetaeva, from “One A Red Horse”, Bride of Ice

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June Jordan, from "Intifada Incantation: Poem #8 for b.b.L.", Directed by Desire: The Complete Poems of June Jordan

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What do I have as neither?

What is my power as someone who is in between

Like a stranger in a body that is becoming my own

I can’t deny how the world sees me

I feel disconnected

Like I’m floating

Like I’m pretending

I’m not making this up

This niether is not something knew

It’s something I have learned the name too

That niether is special

It’s smiles from the man at the airport who said

“You have the most beautiful androgynous face”

I hold those words so close to my heart

It’s the 11 year old girls who said

“My friend thinks your a girl”

And me saying “I am a girl”

It’s their looks of astonishment

It’s the man at the ice cream shop and target calling me sir

It’s June asking if I was two spirit

It’s these moments that mottle my life

But it’s hard because I don’t know where this road goes

There is no beaten path to travel

No words for my divine soul

Souls?

What is my power

Tell me it’s not lesser for being both

For being confused

For I was born like this.

Have felt this was since forever

Since four playing dress up

Since fourteen learning about gender

Since seventeen learning every word I could to explain what I felt

Since 19 buying my first binder

Since sweet Robin

Since Azana

Since twenty two and exploring what it means to be feminine

Without discomfort

Without shame

Without discarding that I’m kinda both

That this path is mine to discover

To write

To be

I get to feel this out

This confusing little piece of me that exists as I go to school and fill my gas and cook and meet strangers and kiss my love and all the while I feel like a liar

I don’t want to feel like I’m hiding something of me

And don’t want to have to explain my being to each everyone I see

See me.

I have been trying to release that

And say

The way that I want you to think of me is the way that I exist

When you say you see me it fills my soul

I want to be seen.

I want to be seen.

Why is that so heavy in my soul

There are tears in my eyes

This is a path I am still on

#silence #poetry #art #writing #poems on tumblr #original content #words words words #poem #poem a day #genderqueer

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I feel sad as I often do in the wake of what has passed

Here I sit at the end of this road

Flying home

Where I will learn to be still again

#silence #poetry #art #writing #poems on tumblr #original content #words words words #poem #poem a day

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This place feels like the old and timeless remains of another time slowly crumbling to dust

These are the old gods

Still and immovable and falling back to earth

They are reminding us of time

Little pieces of the ground beneath someone else’s feet

Our ground has gods too

#silence #poetry #art #writing #poems on tumblr #original content #words words words #poem #poem a day #valley of the gods #utah #red rocks

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Grandmother of the heights

What have I brought you?

What takes 10,000 years to grow?

Here I stand

#silence #poetry #art #writing #poems on tumblr #original content #words words words #poem #poem a day #red rocks #utah

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Why don’t we have fur?

Why don’t we too curl up with our families and wait out the winter?

#silence #poetry #art #writing #poems on tumblr #original content #words words words #poem #poem a day

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Over and over across the long drive I have been thinking of the words of a poem

And forgetting them

Perhaps they will come to me when I have had a moment to sit and be still and forget the pounding of the road

And the endless blurring miles of scenery and stories I will never know traveling past me

Wishing I could pause for a moment to behold them

And knowing there is not possibly time for that

There are so many places in the world that want seeing

Sitting

Being

Including me

#silence #poetry #art #writing #poems on tumblr #original content #words words words #poem #poem a day

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Once we all sat together and held hands and

Although we didn’t really do that

I can tell we are all touching

Our hearts and our heads and our silly little words

We sit and we drink tea and I pour you water and I chuckle and I fret and I find it hard to know you are here for me

Dancing falling speaking seeing sipping

Is that what it’s about ?

The things we do for others?

The way I hold you hand

Look in your eyes

Here we are

Smiling and being and here

Once upon a time we are existing

And oh my god was it good

And wonderful and sweet and so it goes

What blessing we receive from this

That’s all there is to it

Thats is the reason to be

#silence #poetry #art #writing #poems on tumblr #original content #words words words #poem #poem a day

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#silence #poetry #art #writing #poems on tumblr #original content #words words words #poem #poem a day #original art #pen and ink

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One small and unsuspecting piece of being

You were a wonderful experience she said

And got on the bus

And didn’t look back

Because moments happen

And life happens

And the whole of everything you are is made of both of these things

Thank you

Driving away I am left somewhere new as she takes away the pieces of me I was with her

Watching that life become another is heart breaking

I am sad for all the things that never happened

And I’m sad for everything that did

And still

You were a wonderful experience

And you led me to the rest of my life

We are butterflies

Just spinning on through time

Running into the moments and the people that we need

So chaotically cosmically organized

Of course I met you.

There is no world in which that doesn’t happen

Because it happened.

Nothing meant for you will ever go to anyone else

The things you are

The words you say

The being that is experienced by others

You are a human being

And you may play all you like

And the fireflies may dance when you kiss

And the bus may drive away

And we may make mistake after mistake

And I am here sobbing and holding the tiny pieces of my broken heart before you as you leave

And still

And still

You were a wonderful experience

thank you for being

#silence #poetry #art #writing #poems on tumblr #original content #words words words #poem #poem a day #fionna and cake #simon petrikov #betty grof #simon and betty #golbetty #adventure time

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" The best portion of life will be the small nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you ".

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A poem for someone I used to know

I have been thinking of writing to you for a while.

I hear something or go somewhere, and something makes me think of you

Sometimes I pick up my phone

put it down.

Sometimes I do nothing.

Sometimes I type your name, draft a text. Stop.

Sometimes I am wondering if I still want to be your friend

if we get along that well.

if I want you to matter to me anymore

if I want to give you any of my attention and energy,

if I care what your doing,

If I want you to be well.

Or

if maybe now you are just someone I used to know.

And someday down the line, maybe

I will see you again and

maybe

it will be a beautiful flower in the story of us.

A delightful surprise meeting in some strange and mundane place. Or

If our paths never cross again, I wonder if that would make me sad.

And I wonder if that is reason enough

to reach out

to send some kindness your way.

I do hope your doing well, I want you to be happy,

I just don't know

if I care enough to tell you that from so far away.

Maybe it's best then, to just leave you be,

and let my mind pick you up every now and then.

To think of you and the things we have done

and the ways you loved me and the ways you hurt me

and let them be.

Always, I will carry a piece of you with me,

and I don’t know if I like that.

Thinking that our lives touched, and in such an intimate way

I never wanted you to stay

It was fun and new, but

I didn't want it. I

didn’t want your lips on mine,

and when they were I was not there.

Your lips kissed someone else's

and there were never fireworks or butterflies.

And I'm sorry that I lied.

I'm sorry that I made you think I cared,

I'm sorry that I was so afraid to hurt you that I hurt myself and hurt you more.

I'm sorry for all the ways I was untrue.

And at the same time,

you hurt me too.

You made me feel less alive

less human.

Made me feel broken and wrong for being who I am,

for thinking the way that I do.

For not being able to tell you how I feel

for forgetting my thoughts,

for not fitting into the box

of what you think it means to be human.

For writing that letter.

For showing it to more people than me.

And I know you said sorry and I know I said it was

okay. But it wasn’t

quite.

And in my way,

I'm trying to let myself feel more feelings.

To stop saying it's okay

because I know you're human just like me

and I know you make mistakes

and so i say

it's okay,

It's okay that you kissed me.

It's okay that you like me more.

it's okay that you walk me home.

It's okay you make me feel lesser.

It's okay.

Well maybe it's not.

Maybe you are just as human as me

and I can be angry.

I don't have to feel guilty for being mad at

your humanness.

And I am upset at the way you made me feel.

At the way your words stick in my brain.

At the way that deep down I know

I’ll never let you go.

Even though I never loved you,

even though I only knew I cared about you once you were gone.

Even though I didn't want to be with you.

I am upset that you will always be my first.

I am upset at the way you made me hurt.

And also

I want you to know

that it wasn’t all bad.

I learned so many things from you.

We had fun

I know.

But I don’t want to write about that.

So I just wanted to say

if you don't hear from me,

if I don't text you,

if my smile is fake when I see you on the street

This is why.

#silence #poetry #art #writing #poems on tumblr #original content #words words words #poem #poem a day

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I realize I only write poems about one thing

The delicate and deadly curve of a wave

The wind you only find at the top of the cliff

A view so far you can’t understand

The way fog clings to trees

Fingers gripping mine gripping rock

Gripping stone

Gripping bone

My breath comes harsh and measured

I could blow the sea in storm

Or the petals from a dandelion

Sometimes I realize that no matter how much I think

No matter the busy turning of everyday and every night

There is only one thing

Because all the things I think and see and write

They are all existing at once

In such a big complicated way the only way to make sense of it is to make it simple

I have spoken of the two sided kiss of the world before

And that is what it is really

To be alive

Whether stone or seed or breeze

Whether cricket or coral or me

It hurts

It is sensation

It feels so good

This thing that I am dancing around

That I cannot explain

Maybe is too big for words

To simple

To complex and complete

You know I think

what I am trying to speak

When I look at you

When I take your hand

When we turn away

The answers you seek lie there

Lie in the smallest spark and the depths of the ocean

In one word

In a blink

I can’t tell you

And you can’t miss it

#silence #poetry #art #writing #poems on tumblr #original content #words words words #poem #poem a day

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Been obsessing over illuminated letters 😌 used watercolor, ink and a gold pen to make this

#art #writing #illuminated letters #illuminated manuscript

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This feeling shows itself in us differently

I am manic running through the streets

I am lying in bed and nothing is real

I am screaming at people I love

I am crying for all the broken souls

This feeling shows itself in everyone differently

I am making art

I can’t stop running to new things

I am talking to strangers

I watch sunrise every day

My eyes have been closed my whole life

And this path that I am searching for is clear as

Open your eyes

Open your arms

Protect your heart by letting her feel and break and

Heal

The tears you may shed

That pain in your chest

The loss

That is the beginning of a bandage

Slowly the world will heal

You will learn and grow

This feeling is the same in everyone

Searching searching searching

Lost drifting alone

Loved and loved and loved

You are seen.

#silence #poetry #art #writing #poems on tumblr #original content #words words words #poem #poem a day

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How it feels to be held,

To be on your own feet.

To see the world and let the world see you.

She is less for your absence

The universe craves your perspective

She is starving for who you are.

Feel how your brain is relaxing

She needs air too.

Remember who your taking care of,

Why are you poisoning yourself with this?

Your body is where you live.

Until we stop treating our bodies like trash we won’t stop doing it to the world,

A smile can do a lot.

Whose life are you living?

If all souls are part of the same thing

Think of how similar people are,

Imagine your other lives,

Imagine how far you’ve yet to go!

And what a colorful time that will be

Hopes

Loves

Memories

Sorrows

THIS IS WHY ITS WORTH BEING ALIVE

Get up

Get up

Get up!

I am withering away without you

I am feeling lost and alone

I have been

Missing

You

I am in love with you and I am

Weeping

Because you are gone.

The emptiness I feel

All across my body

That is where you used to be.

My arms are open when

your ready to comeback

My loves flowering for you

Of course you hid when you were treated so bad

I am sorry

There is nothing worth that

And I didn’t know

I am sorry I am sorry I am sorry

You are so so loved

The shape you take is perfect

For it fits only into me

My soul my love myself

How can I write all the colors in my head

This feeling does not fit on this page

Every day I am working to be better

My arms are open when your ready

to come back

Thank you for showing me the path

You are the light

You are the river

You are the stars

Help me find my north

I am starving for you

Stale faces

Stale laughter

Stale talk

Stale

Enough.

I am weeping

Every night I am weeping

I really miss you

And I am so

I am so

I am so

(It does not fit)

What I’m trying to say is

The feeling in my chest is yours

#silence #poetry #art #writing #poems on tumblr #original content #words words words #poem #poem a day