shondaland-criminalminds

[shondaland-criminalminds]

*Reid getting into an ambulance*

Hotch, giving the stare:

Emily: Am I in trouble?

Hotch: Take a guess

Emily: No?

Hotch: Take another guess

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[shondaland-criminalminds]

Emily: Question. If you use poison past its expiration date does it mean it’s more effective or less effective?

Hotch:

JJ:

JJ: What do you mean by use?

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[shondaland-criminalminds]

The BAU after seeing Barbie

Emily whispering: I’m a ten so I pull in a Ken like,

Derek: Jazzie,Stacie, Nicki (grrah) / Penelope: I’m a barbie girl

Emily: All of these Barbies is pretty (damn) / JJ: In the barbie world-d-d

Derek: All the Barbies is bad / Penelope: Life in plastic

JJ: It girls, and we ain’t playin’ tag (grrah) / Penelope: It’s fantastic

Emily: Rad, but he spank me when I get bad

Spencer: Whaaat? Im so confused

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[shondaland-criminalminds]

Emily: How does it feel enh? like your insides are dying? Like Oppenheimer just set off the atomic bomb in your stomach?

Penelope: No- its actually good! I love those chips!

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[shondaland-criminalminds]

*Emily walking in the BAU looking beat*

Derek: Heyyy Princess

Emily: no

Derek: whoa ok- rough night?

Emily: *glares at him*

JJ, whispering to spencer: whats wrong with Em?

Spencer: what isnt wrong with her?

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[shondaland-criminalminds]

Morgan: Ok Em what’s your type?

Prentiss: It’s…

Garcia: Ohoh I know DILFS wait-no MILFS

Reid: Dilfs?

JJ: Dads i’d like to fuck.

Prentiss: None of y’alls buisness. But I will accept both of those answers.

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[shondaland-criminalminds]

Emily: I’ve come to the conclusion that when doing something without asking permission, no rules are broken. They are simply learned.

Derek: And what did you learn today exactly?

Emily:

*Hotch giving her the stare*

Emily: That I cannot be caught partaking in any spicy activites during work hours.

Hotch: PARTAKE PERIOD. NO CAUGHT.

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[shondaland-criminalminds]

Prentiss: I like your tie

Hotch: oh what did you do?

Prentiss: what- nothing… Can’t I just compliment your tie?

*explosion coming from the BAU’s kitchen*

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[shondaland-criminalminds]

*Garcia watering the plant on Prentiss’s desk*

Prentiss: Wu-what are you doing?

Derek: She’s watering the plants, idiot.

Prentiss: It’s a fake plant…

Garcia: Well they need love too you know.

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[shondaland-criminalminds]

Prentiss: Argh my feet are killing me

Reid: Why do you keep wearing your boots then?

Prentiss: First of all, they’re docs. there’s a big difference… Second of all, have you ever heard of suffering for style? Oh wait *looks him up and down* nevermind

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[shondaland-criminalminds]

Spencer: Do you support gay rights?

Emily: Not only do I support gay rights, I support gays wrongs

Hotch: Prentiss what did you do?

*microwave explodes in the BAU’s kitchen*

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[shondaland-criminalminds]

Emily, trying to get her phone from derek: GIVE ME MY PHONE. I gotta find out how Sergio did in cat day care!

Derek: Do you hear yourself when you’re talking?

Emily: Yes, I did hear that… god, what the FUCK is wrong with me..?

Derek: Everything.

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[shondaland-criminalminds]

Therapy

Therapist: So how are you today?

Reid: Im fine what about you?

Therapist: Ummm that’s not really how it works- I’m your therapist so you don’t need to return the questions…

Reid: Well, what if I stop returning at all umhh?

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[shondaland-criminalminds]

Truth or dare

Emily: Truth or dare jayje?

JJ: truth

Emily: do you have a crush on someone in the bau?

JJ: Emily im married…

Emily: ahhh right…

JJ: To you idiot

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[shondaland-criminalminds]

Vampire

Hotch: Emily put sunscreen on please

Prentiss: what-why? I don’t need it.

Hotch: tell that to the vampire in you who makes you turn lobster red every chance he gets

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[shondaland-criminalminds]

Kneecap

Morgan: Prentiss you good?

Prentiss: Yeah why wouldn’t I be?

Hotch: Because you’ve dislocated your knee Prentiss.

Prentiss: dislocated is a strong word, bruised would be more accurate

Hotch: Oh really? then what is your kneecap doing on the left side of your knee?

Prentiss: taking a vacation?

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[shondaland-criminalminds]

Self love?

Prentiss, distracted: byeee be careful - love you!

Hotch: im sorry what?

Prentiss: oh ummm that wasnt meant for you uuh-sorry…

Reid: i think its the first time i’ve ever heard this from Prentiss…

Hotch: who was it meant for then?

Prentiss: uuh… myself?

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