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*Reid getting into an ambulance*
Hotch, giving the stare:
Emily: Am I in trouble?
Hotch: Take a guess
Emily: No?
Hotch: Take another guess
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Emily: Question. If you use poison past its expiration date does it mean it’s more effective or less effective?
Hotch:
JJ:
JJ: What do you mean by use?
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The BAU after seeing Barbie
Emily whispering: I’m a ten so I pull in a Ken like,
Derek: Jazzie,Stacie, Nicki (grrah) / Penelope: I’m a barbie girl
Emily: All of these Barbies is pretty (damn) / JJ: In the barbie world-d-d
Derek: All the Barbies is bad / Penelope: Life in plastic
JJ: It girls, and we ain’t playin’ tag (grrah) / Penelope: It’s fantastic
Emily: Rad, but he spank me when I get bad
Spencer: Whaaat? Im so confused
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Emily: How does it feel enh? like your insides are dying? Like Oppenheimer just set off the atomic bomb in your stomach?
Penelope: No- its actually good! I love those chips!
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*Emily walking in the BAU looking beat*
Derek: Heyyy Princess
Emily: no
Derek: whoa ok- rough night?
Emily: *glares at him*
JJ, whispering to spencer: whats wrong with Em?
Spencer: what isnt wrong with her?
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Morgan: Ok Em what’s your type?
Prentiss: It’s…
Garcia: Ohoh I know DILFS wait-no MILFS
Reid: Dilfs?
JJ: Dads i’d like to fuck.
Prentiss: None of y’alls buisness. But I will accept both of those answers.
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Emily: I’ve come to the conclusion that when doing something without asking permission, no rules are broken. They are simply learned.
Derek: And what did you learn today exactly?
Emily:
*Hotch giving her the stare*
Emily: That I cannot be caught partaking in any spicy activites during work hours.
Hotch: PARTAKE PERIOD. NO CAUGHT.
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Prentiss: I like your tie
Hotch: oh what did you do?
Prentiss: what- nothing… Can’t I just compliment your tie?
*explosion coming from the BAU’s kitchen*
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*Garcia watering the plant on Prentiss’s desk*
Prentiss: Wu-what are you doing?
Derek: She’s watering the plants, idiot.
Prentiss: It’s a fake plant…
Garcia: Well they need love too you know.
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Prentiss: Argh my feet are killing me
Reid: Why do you keep wearing your boots then?
Prentiss: First of all, they’re docs. there’s a big difference… Second of all, have you ever heard of suffering for style? Oh wait *looks him up and down* nevermind
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Spencer: Do you support gay rights?
Emily: Not only do I support gay rights, I support gays wrongs
Hotch: Prentiss what did you do?
*microwave explodes in the BAU’s kitchen*
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Emily, trying to get her phone from derek: GIVE ME MY PHONE. I gotta find out how Sergio did in cat day care!
Derek: Do you hear yourself when you’re talking?
Emily: Yes, I did hear that… god, what the FUCK is wrong with me..?
Derek: Everything.
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Therapy
Therapist: So how are you today?
Reid: Im fine what about you?
Therapist: Ummm that’s not really how it works- I’m your therapist so you don’t need to return the questions…
Reid: Well, what if I stop returning at all umhh?
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Truth or dare
Emily: Truth or dare jayje?
JJ: truth
Emily: do you have a crush on someone in the bau?
JJ: Emily im married…
Emily: ahhh right…
JJ: To you idiot
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Vampire
Hotch: Emily put sunscreen on please
Prentiss: what-why? I don’t need it.
Hotch: tell that to the vampire in you who makes you turn lobster red every chance he gets
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Kneecap
Morgan: Prentiss you good?
Prentiss: Yeah why wouldn’t I be?
Hotch: Because you’ve dislocated your knee Prentiss.
Prentiss: dislocated is a strong word, bruised would be more accurate
Hotch: Oh really? then what is your kneecap doing on the left side of your knee?
Prentiss: taking a vacation?
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Self love?
Prentiss, distracted: byeee be careful - love you!
Hotch: im sorry what?
Prentiss: oh ummm that wasnt meant for you uuh-sorry…
Reid: i think its the first time i’ve ever heard this from Prentiss…
Hotch: who was it meant for then?
Prentiss: uuh… myself?
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