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sassy-headcanons · 3 years
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Songs that make me think of Twilight characters for some reason
Bella: DNA - Little Mix
Jacob: Rude - MAGIC!
Edward: Deal With It - Ashnikko
Paul:  Échame La Culpa - Demi Lovato and Luis Fonsi
Leah: The Story - Brandi Carslile
Aro: Mr. Loverboy - Little Mix
Marcus: Summer Boy - Lady Gaga
Cauis: Don’t Mess With Me - Temposhark
Felix: Knockout - Lil Wayne and Nicki Minaj
Demetri: Hunt You Down - Kesha
Alice: Weddings and Funerals - Royal and The Serpent
Jasper: Greedy - Ariana Grande
Carlisle: WHEN I WAS OLDER - Billie Eillish
Esme: Come To Mama - Lady Gaga
Rose: Rich White Girls - mansionz
Emmett: watch - Billie Eilish
Jane: Moondust - Jaymes Young
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sassy-headcanons · 3 years
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Nick Jakoby Headcanons:
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Nick Jakoby is one of favorite characters of all time so if you don’t agree with my headcanons too bad he’s my baby! 
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Their favorite time of year
Spring. He likes to see the colors coming back and feeling like it truly is a new year. Like LA is being reborn and there’s a clean slate for everyone in the world.
If they like reading, and if so their favorite book
You will have to pry hopeless romantics Nick from my cold dead hands. All he reads are romance novels, and not the generic ones full of poorly written plot and thirty chapters of smut. No, the good ones about forbidden love or friends to lovers that actually good.
Their favorite way to waste time
I can see Nick losing hours to video games on his days off or after a light shift at work. He most likely has a guilty pleasure with playing high violence games with an orc main character. Like he knows it’s just perpetuating the stereotype that all Orcs are criminals but this character has magic and a sword and it’s just so good! After a hard day of being the good guy no one seems to want, he’ll wind down by being some badass bad guy in a fantasy world cause why the fuck not?
Their favorite type of music
Orcish love songs for sure. Nick is a hopeless romantic at heart and no matter what language love songs are his favorite, but sappy Orcish songs will always be his go-to
Their best childhood memory
I feel like it has something to do with his Dad. Like being on his shoulders running around the park or backyard. Back before he learn about prejudice and how evil the world could be.
Any nervous tics they may have
No matter how hard he tries to mask it when Nick is nervous his ears twitch
Their calming techniques
He is a meditation king! Need any tips for getting that good meditation high, go to this man. He knows every trick in the book for winding down and is always ready and willing to help others reach that perfect state of calm.
How they cope with nightmares
Admittedly he doesn’t cope well. I feel that Nick overcompensates with being health conscious in his waking hours. Bright really didn’t give us much to work off of as far as his free time like they did with Ward, but I think he is not so secretly a health nut. Obsessed with being as healthy as possible. Daily vitamins, a solid sleep schedule, and as little junk food as possible. What I’m trying to say is I feel like he is taking control of what he can because nightmares are unpredictable/uncontrollable
Their most prized possession
No surprise here, it’s his badge. He is so proud to be a cop, even if everyone and their mother gives him shit.
One thing they can’t live without
From what I interpreted from the Bright movie, Orcs value family quite a bit. With that in mind, I feel like his “I can’t live with out this” thing would be something from either his dad or grandfather. For some reason what’s coming to mind is a pair of cufflinks.
How they spend rainy days
Oh my god, Nick Jakoby loves rainy days, especially when it’s his day off. He’ll get out a nostalgic CD from his collection and just do whatever he wants in his apartment. Reading, laying in bed, or scrolling on social media. Doesn’t matter, it’s his free rainy day, he can do whatever and no one can say shit.
How they sleep
As Bright showed us, Nick is very body health conscious so he tried not to sleep on his stomach (it can fuck up your back majorly). Occasionally he’ll wake up on his stomach and just accept that he has no control over how he sleeps, but makes sure that’s never how he falls asleep. He tries to sleep on his side and even bought a body pillow to invest in his hip joint health.
How they hug
I have a personal headcanon that Nick is severely touch starved so when he’s being hugged he puts his whole body and soul into it
How they express love (platonically and/or romantically)
His love language is acts of service so those he cares for he’ll do just about anything to make them more comfortable in their day to day life
A skill that they’d love to have
Nick Jakoby really wishes he was better at public speaking. He so badly wants to be a front-and-center activist for Orc rights, but he just freezes on stage. Though, he really is proud of the conversion that was started with him becoming the first Orc cop, even if most of the conversation is hatred towards him. A foot in the door, one toe at a time if you will
If they had a spirit animal what form do they think it would take
For whatever reason when I think of Nick Jakoby I think of salamanders
Which Hogwarts house would they be in
He is a Hufflepuff through and through
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Feel free to send me any characters you like headcanons for! I also do ships!
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sassy-headcanons · 3 years
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Songs that remind me of Kingsman characters
I don’t even know it just wont get out of my head
Harry: We Don’t Have to Take Our Clothes Off - Ella Eyre
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Eggsy:  Megan Thee Stallion & Normani  - Diamonds
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Merlin: My Oh My - Camila Cabello ft. DaBaby
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Roxy: Gatekeeper - Jessie Reyez
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sassy-headcanons · 3 years
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Should I add some of these into character headcanons?
weird asks that say a lot
in
1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?
2. chocolate bars or lollipops?
3. bubblegum or cotton candy?
4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?
5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?
6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?
7. earbuds or headphones?
8. movies or tv shows?
9. favorite smell in the summer?
10. game you were best at in p.e.?
11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?
12. name of your favorite playlist?
13. lanyard or key ring?
14. favorite non-chocolate candy?
15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?
16. most comfortable position to sit in?
17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?
18. ideal weather?
19. sleeping position?
20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?
21. obsession from childhood?
22. role model?
23. strange habits?
24. favorite crystal?
25. first song you remember hearing?
26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?
27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?
28. five songs to describe you?
29. best way to bond with you?
30. places that you find sacred?
31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?
32. top five favorite vines?
33. most used phrase in your phone?
34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?
35. average time you fall asleep?
36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?
37. suitcase or duffel bag?
38. lemonade or tea?
39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?
40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?
41. last person you texted?
42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?
43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?
44. favorite scent for soap?
45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?
46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?
47. favorite type of cheese?
48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?
49. what saying or quote do you live by?
50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?
51. current stresses?
52. favorite font?
53. what is the current state of your hands?
54. what did you learn from your first job?
55. favorite fairy tale?
56. favorite tradition?
57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?
58. four talents you’re proud of having?
59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?
60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?
61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?
62. seven characters you relate to?
63. five songs that would play in your club?
64. favorite website from your childhood?
65. any permanent scars?
66. favorite flower(s)?
67. good luck charms?
68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?
69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?
70. left or right handed?
71. least favorite pattern?
72. worst subject?
73. favorite weird flavor combo?
74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?
75. when did you lose your first tooth?
76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?
77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?
78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?
79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?
80. earth tones or jewel tones?
81. fireflies or lightning bugs?
82. pc or console?
83. writing or drawing?
84. podcasts or talk radio?
84. barbie or polly pocket?
85. fairy tales or mythology?
86. cookies or cupcakes?
87. your greatest fear?
88. your greatest wish?
89. who would you put before everyone else?
90. luckiest mistake?
91. boxes or bags?
92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?
93. nicknames?
94. favorite season?
95. favorite app on your phone?
96. desktop background?
97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?
98. favorite historical era?
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sassy-headcanons · 3 years
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Hancon Headcanons:
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Who hogs the duvet
Surprisingly Connor does. He powers down for the night and just rolls over . Hank is left with no covers staring at the ceiling contemplating what he’s gotten himself into
Who texts/rings to check how their day is going
I don’t feel like they really need to. They live and work together. They’re really only apart when Hank’s taking a shit. Connor does know not to try and keep a conversation going when Hank’s in the bathroom alone, something about talking while on the toilet makes his skin crawl.
Who gets up first in the morning
Connor because of his android systems only needing a certain amount of sleep to be at full capacity. Even if he was human though, he’d still get up before Hank. That man can sleep for 16 hours and still be tired when he wakes up.
Who suggests new things in bed
CONNOR. He is not some blushing virgin afraid of sex. He was made to learn and investigate crimes. He wants to know everything and anything and Hank is more than willing to show him.
Who cries at movies
Hank, but he tries to keep it in
Who gives unprompted messages
Connor. He is still learning social cues and sometimes just sneaks up on Hank to tell him he looks nice today or something soft like that
What They’re like when they’re sick
Hank: Oh my fuckling god he would be such a hassle to deal with. Whether it be seasonal allergies or the flu he is a drama queen and blows everything out of proportion.
Connor: Connor can’t get sick , but I like the idea of computer viruses getting into androids systems and creating cold and flu-like symptoms. So, Connor would be running warm like a cellphone that gets left under the covers for too long and his blue blood would be steadily dripping from his nose like a runny nose. Lots of system reboots and about a day worth of sluggishness and he’d be back to his usual adorable self.
Who gets jealous easiest
I feel like it’s a draw. Humans flirt with Hank and Connor starts seeing green, Androids flirt with Connor, and Hank gets a little grumpy. However, if androids start flirting with Hank.. Connor’s about to fuck a bitch up.
Who collects something unusual
So we know the androids can store memories in their hard drives. So what if Connor has a little folder hidden in his systems that’s just still shots and videos of Hank smiling?
Who is the tidiest and organized
CONNOR! We’ve all seen Hank house
Who gets most excited about the holidays
Hank has a really difficult time celebrating the holidays because of his son, but after seeing how excited Connor got about the idea of Christmas and Hanukkah and everything else he decided to try and start new.
Who is the big spoon/little spoon
Hank likes to be a little spoon, but it was something he was never comfortable telling his ex-wife. He’s used to be the big strong man in the relationship, but in walks Connor with his behavior analyzing software, and just knowing . I don’t see them falling asleep spooning but before bed cuddles are a sure thing. Connor one night, without saying anything, just flips Hank over and snuggles up behind him, wrapping his human up in his arms, and pecks a kiss on his neck. Doing what Hank does to him when the roles are reversed and Hank just fucking melts.
Who gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports
Connor but only because he should be able to win without trying, so the few times Hank or another human have beat him at something sparks something deep in his hardware.
Who starts the most arguments
Hank’s temper likes to rear its ugly head at the worst of times, especially when Hank is wrong but doesn’t want to admit it. Connor can be a little slow on the social uptake, but he will not stand for being talked down to and before you know it an argument has started, and neither wants to stand down
Who suggests that they buy a pet
Sumo is adorable and loved by everyone, but Connor is for sure a cat person and I feel like he and Hank would adopt an android cat that missing parts from a previous abusive owner and name it after the lead singer of their favorite metal band
What couple traditions they have
Connor starts taking Hank to Cole’s grave on a regular basis again to help him grieve and afterward he rewards Hank with the greasiest carb disaster of a burger for working through his trauma without being self-destructive
What tv shows they watch together
Hank likes showing Connor reruns of shows he was watching as a kid/teen. Connors favorite so far is Wizards of Waverley Place
How they spend time together as a couple
Listening to music in the car is a staple in their relationship. Outside of work, they like to take Sumo to the dog park and go on walks together.
Who made the first move
They had one of those rom-com moments where they both started to confess their feeling at the same time, stop, and laugh at the silliness of the situation.
Who brings flowers home
Connor because that’s what the other deviant told him people do for those they care for. Hank at first doesn’t know how to feel because no one has ever done that for him before, but soon it becomes a ritual for them.
Who is the best cook
Connor hands down, anything Hank makes is slightly burnt and dripping in grease.
Who snores
Hank
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sassy-headcanons · 3 years
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I wanted to do this for this account too!
S - She / Harry Styles
A - Amphetamine / Everclear 
S - Shower / DYLN
S - Saw It Coming / G-Eazy and Jeremih
Y - You and I / Lady Gaga
H - Half God Half Devil / In This Moment
E - Expectations / Lauren Jauregui 
A - Animal / Sir Chole
D - Deal With It / Ashnikko
C - Crossfire / Mothica
A - Another Level / Oh The Larceny 
N - Notice / Little Mix
O - Overwhelming / Jon Bellion
N - Nirvana / Adam Lambert
S - Since You’re Gone / The Pretty Reckless
thank you for the tag baby @sweeterthansammy 🥺💐
“username playlist” - name a song for each letter of your username
a - always forever / cults
n - night changes / one direction
c - cinnamon girl / LANA DEL FUCKING REY !!
h - hailey / WRENN
o - ophelia / the lumineers
e - electric love / BØRNS
r - r u ok / tate mcrae
i - ivy / frank ocean
t - tongue tied / grouplove
i - in your eyes / the weeknd
c - champagne / taylor swift
no pressure tags <3 : @cruciostyles @darthwheezely @efyra @le-weasley-simp @mitsukui @cedwardcullen @rosieweasleyy @toripotterr @whizboingies
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sassy-headcanons · 3 years
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Vulcans (and Spock) with more cat-instincts headcannons and imagines
Vulcan eyes that are made for seeing in the dark, so during blackouts or during the night they’re perfectly fine and able to do anything without stress. Their pupils are more oval-shaped than human eyes, so they look much more like a cat.
Their eyes also glow, and don’t try to take pics because it’s scary-
Strangely enough, they are a bit less logical and more sassy that their usual selfes and that suits them so much
Vulcans that are really posable so you can watch them randomly put themselves in strange positions and uncomfortable places for other races in an almost astonishing way
It’s not uncommon to see little Vulcan children exploring small places and climbing trees out of spite and then unable to come down, so you can hear the usual “MOTHERRR I’M STUCK” in the early mornings.
Their canines are much longer than human teeth, like cat ones. They use them as weapons, in Kal-If-Fee for example, because their canines are freacking Sharp
it’s rare to hear them purr, but much rarer to hear them hiss, as they try to be in control of their negative emotions. Kinda cute tough.
Vulcan Mothers are really protective of their little ones, so don’t even try to approach them with bad intentions. Just don’t. The Mothers will kill you.
The fact that they rarely sleep dosn’t mean they don’t like doing that. They adore sleeping on something comfy, rays of sunshine that heat them up. It’s a calming and relaxing activity for them and they secretly enjoy it. 
Keep reading
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sassy-headcanons · 4 years
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Detroit: Become Wholesome (4)
* Sumo has gone through many toys over the years, but there’s one he’s had since his adoption. Whenever there’s a thunder storm or the house is getting vacuumed he’ll grab that toy and go hide with it under Hank’s bed. But he’ll also use it for other’s comfort too. Following Cole’s death Hank found that ratty-old toy constantly on his lap. And whenever Connor is having a hard day a wet nose will nudge it under his hand.
* One bored weekend Hank decides to dust off his old board-game of Clue to play with Connor, and he is addicted immediately! They start to play every weekend, and somehow the rest of the precinct gets looped in. Saturday nights one person or another hosts, and people come to play when they can. Connor is ALWAYS there. And he ALWAYS wins. Gavin doesn’t normally go, but he is sick of hearing about Connor’s victories every Monday morning, so one night he decides to join them and hide some of the cards. It’s great to see Connor’s confused and distraught look after making a wrong prediction... until he catches Hank’s eye... Gavin doesn’t come to the meetings anymore.
* Whenever an android at the precinct is having a bad day, they all open a cybernetic link and rotate playing each-other’s play lists, all listening together. It’s all fun and games until someone starts playing something like Crazy Frog or The Little Einstein’s Remix, the humans can’t figure out why all androids are suddenly laughing.
* Alice LOVES the rain. More specifically, she loves the puddles. The bigger the mud puddle the better! One weekend the Jerrys visit and she convinces them to dig a massive pit in the backyard behind the shed, and the next time it rained that thing filled to the brim with mud! Alice could sit in it up to her shoulders, it was awesome.
* The first time Rose comes to visit the Canada family she finds them all in the same clothes she left them in. Without even walking into the house she pulls them all to her car to go shopping. Kara and Luther are fairly restrained, despite being told they don’t have to be. But Alice? Oh boy. Not one store was safe. Fuzzy sweaters, neon pants, knee-high socks, sparkly hair clips, cow-girl boots.... Kara makes sure she picks out some sensible outfits as well.
* Kara introduces Ralph to the Jerrys, and they in unison decide to mother-hen him. Ralph doesn’t really like crowds, and prefers to his alone time, but once a week a few Jerrys will come over to check up on him, make sure he’s okay, and maybe fix up the house a bit. Some days they’ll talk for hours, others they’ll just sit together in silence. Whatever Ralph needs that day is a-okay with them.
* It becomes a game in the Kamski household as to how many tiny rubber ducks the Chloes can place around the mansion before Elijah notices... it takes a while, just over a week. But once he spots the first one he finds them EVERYWHERE. The clear winner is whoever was able to stick one in the middle of the bread loaf.
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sassy-headcanons · 4 years
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hi im from ur archive headcannons if you could do samifer that would be so cool thanks so much :) (your series is so freaking cute
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Who hogs the duvet
Lucifer cause he’s a little shit and loves to have Sam spoon him
Who texts/rings to check how their day is going
Lucifer. He just pops in whenever and hangout fort awhile
Who’s the most creative when it comes to gifts
Sam, since a young child he’s been making gifts for Dean and his dad. The habit never really stopped, he found that people (especially Dean) appreciate hand made gifts better than store-bought ones.
Who gets up first in the morning
Does it count as getting up first if you never slept in the first place? I feel like angels don’t need to sleep but like to indulge in human ways every once in a while. Sam, as we know, has insomnia and doesn’t sleep. So, this could go either way. If both did sleep through the night, Lucifer gets up first.
Who suggests new things in bed
Lucifer jokingly. Sam seriously
Who cries at movies
Both, but Lucifer cries harder
What they’re like when they’re sick
Sam: As we’ve seen, Sam will try to hide his illness until someone finds out and verbally kicks his ass. Lucifer has tried again and again to make Sam see that he isn’t weak for being sick, that taking a sick day won’t end the world (bad choice of words on his part) but Sam doesn’t agree.
Lucifer: Angel (devil) sickness is a doozie. Almost no literature on what to do with a sick profound being in the bunker, so they just wing it. Lucifer gets all grumpy and whiney. He just wants to get better and banish whatever got him sick into eternal nothingness. Sam has to have the patience of a saint when Lucifer is sick, or else he’ll be trying to smother him with a pillow by day two.
Who gets jealous easiest
LUCIFER!
Who collects something unusual
I like the idea of Sam saving Lucifer’s fallen feathers stuffing a pillow with them
Who takes the longest to get ready
They take about the same amount of time. Sam just needs to roll out of bed, finger combs his hair, and change his clothes. Lucifer rolls out of bed, and magic mojos into new clothes.
Who is the tidiest and organized
Sam, thank you very much. He is constantly on Lucifer’s ass about how much of a slob he is
Who gets most excited about the holidays
Neither
Who is the big spoon/little spoon
They switch, but as I said before Lucifer likes Sam spooning him and has no problem stealing blankets to get his cuddles
Who gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports
Dean. Sam doesn’t really get into videogames and running is a therapy for him so Lucifer doesn’t tag along. Lucifer likes to pick on Dean and goad him into playing Super Smash Bros with him
Who starts the most arguments
They’ve got a lot of baggage between them and have hurt each other repeatedly. Sometimes that hurt bubbles to the surface over something stupid and a screaming match starts. Usually, it’s Sam that starts it, however, it’s normally triggered by something Lucifer says/does
Who suggests that they buy a pet
SAM! Get this poor man a dog already!
What couple traditions they have
Every anniversary Sam and Lucifer go out and get a devils food cake and each that shit while watching shitty religious horror movies about the devil and laugh their asses off at how bad they are and the horrible takes on Lucifer
What tv shows they watch together
Whatever is on, maybe some cartoons or a documentary
Another couple they hang out with
Cas and Dean
How they spend time together as a couple
Researching, spooning, having hot sex
Who made the first move
I wanna say Sam did because Lucifer was too scared after everything that’s happened between them
Who brings flowers home
Sam picks flowers for Lucifer on the way home from his morning runs
Who is the best cook
Sam can make a mean Caesar salad
Who snores
I honestly can’t see either of them snoring
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sassy-headcanons · 4 years
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Logan x Hank Headcanons
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NOT MY GIF
Who hogs the duvet
I feel like they’d be a no blankets kinda couple. Hank is covered in fur and Logan runs hot so blankets would just be too hot.
Who texts/rings to check how their day is going
Hank for sure!
Who’s the most creative when it comes to gifts
Hank loves to make Logan handmade gifts for small holidays or anniversaries. Logan, however, will put tons of time into thoughtful gifts for the big ones. So I guess both?
Who gets up first in the morning
That depends on if who has to get up for work/class. On the weekends they don’t always make it to bed before 3 am.
Who suggests new things in bed
Oh, Hank for sure. He spent so long in the closet feeling ashamed for who he is, now that he’s out he wants to try everything and Logan is more than happy to indulge him.
Who cries at movies
Logan, but he’s embarrassed about it
Who gives unprompted messages
They both do. Just imagine them popping into each other’s classrooms (sometimes during a class) to say hi and blow kisses at each other like the lovesick fools they are!
What they’re like when they’re sick
Logan: With his powers, nothing is supposed to knock him on his ass, however, if something could, he’d be such a baby about it. In his mind, he’s all macho and powering through it, but really he’s dripping snot everywhere and Hank’s gonna bite his head off if he whines one more goddamn time!
Hank: He doesn’t like people to see him sick, it makes him feel weak. So, he powers through it, drowning in cold medicine and cough drops. Most times no one (but Logan) can tell he’s sick. But sometimes the sickness just kicks his ass and he has to let Logan and the other mutants play mother hen.
Who gets jealous easiest
Hank, I mean have you seen Logan!? He’s not possessive though, this jealousy stems from his insecurities. Logan always assures him that Hank has nothing to worry about and that usually to marathon sex
Who collects something unusual
Who takes the longest to get ready
Hank… I mean he’s covered in fur so if he takes a shower in the morning, he’s not just blow-drying his hair. He’s blow-drying his entire body. On the off chance he doesn’t have a blowdryer, it would take hours to completely dry!
Who is the tidiest and organized
Hank. Logan Howlett does not have a tidy adamantium covered bone in his body
Who gets most excited about the holidays
I feel like before they started working and living at the mansion both of them didn’t care too much for the holidays, but now they can kinda get into the spirit for the kids.
Who is the big spoon/little spoon
Little spoon Logan is the best Logan. Hank is okay with being the little spoon when he needs comfort but prefers to be the big spoon.
Who gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports
Yes… just yes. Someones sleeping on the couch tonight, boys!
Who starts the most arguments
LOGAN! Sure, Hank has started his far share, but Logan is such a hothead!
Who suggests that they buy a pet
I feel like they both want a pet, but with both of their animalistic characteristics, it would be a toss-up of whether or not the animal liked being around them.
What couple traditions they have
On the would-have-been anniversary of Hank’s death, Logan spends the entire day with him, reassuring himself that he’s real and alive.
What tv shows they watch together
Whatevers on, I see them as more of a read together before bed kinda couple
Another couple they hang out with
Erik and Charles
How they spend time together as a couple
Reading, fucking, drinking. Maybe a mixture of the three?
Who made the first move
Logan for sure... I mean, come on, it’s Logan we’re talking about here.
Who brings flowers home
Both, cause they’re soft buff boys
Who is the best cook
They can both cook, but they’d rather order in
Who snores
Both!
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sassy-headcanons · 4 years
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Hartwin Headcanons
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Who hogs the duvet
I want to say that Eggsy is the one that steals blankets, but really I know it’s Harry. He would absolutely roll over in the middle of the night with a death grip on the comforter and leave poor Eggsy to shiver.
Who texts/rings to check how their day is going
I feel like it would be Harry because he wants to 1. Keep up on his “dear boy” and 2. Because he’s a little worried about Eggsy and dating a man half his age. 
Who’s the most creative when it comes to gifts
Probably both. Harry would buy his gifts, he puts a lot of time and effort into finding the perfect gift for somebody. Sometimes they’re very expensive and Eggsy has a hard time accepting them, and others it’s just something small that made Harry go “Wow, that reminds me of Eggsy” and buys it. Eggsy 100% handmakes gifts. He puts his heart and soul into whatever he makes for the people he loves.
Who gets up first in the morning
I am so on board with the headcanon that Harry is not a morning person and is nearly chronically late to anything and everything. Eggsy I feel like is a morning person to the max. Early morning jog with JB (he’s not dead fight me), shower, shave, attempt to coax Harry out of bed, eat, dress, attempt to coax Harry out of bed for the second time, and head to work. Ain't no way he’s gonna be late for work and face Merlin’s wrath just because Harry Hart won’t get out of bed. 
 Who suggests new things in bed
Eggsy for sure. Harry is experienced when it comes to sex and every time Eggsy suggests something he’s like “Yeah, I’ll try that again” or “Nope, hard pass, tried that and hated it. Next.”
Who cries at movies
Both. Harry doesn’t care about Eggsy seeing him cry and Eggsy has such a large heart he can’t keep it in.
What are they like when they’re sick
Harry: Merlin calls him a “Whiny little bitch” when he’s sick and that about sums it up.
Eggsy: He’s a power through it kinda guy. He will not admit he is sick until it starts to interfere with his Kingsman duties. Eggsy may be stubborn but he does know when to quit.
Who gets jealous easiest
Harry Hart. He has so many self-esteem issues when it comes to dating Eggsy because of their age difference. He worries about Eggsy running off with someone younger than himself. Not that Eggsy would he loves Harry too much to ever think of being with anyone else.
Who collects something unusual
So it’s canon that Harry loves butterflies and has some pinned behind glass in his home… I personally don’t think that weird, it’s hella cool to me. I honestly don’t know.
Who takes the longest to get ready
Harry is very precise about how he looks and must be presentable at all times. He blames his tardiness on this, but the fact is that he doesn’t get out of bed until ten minutes after he was supposed to arrive. 
Who is the tidiest and organized
I think it’s a draw. They’re both equally tidy.
Who gets most excited about the holidays
Eggsy, but only because of his little sister, he constantly wants to make up for the shitty years with Dean.
Who is the big spoon/little spoon
Little spoon Harry for the win!
Who gets the most competitive when playing games and/or sports
Oh my god, that is so Eggsy! Can you imagine them playing Super Smash Bros? Eggsy would be so pissed if he lost to Harry
Who starts the most arguments
I feel like they argue and both start an equal amount of them but they don’t seem like the kind of couple to stay mad at each other or break up over a stupid fight.
Who suggests that they buy a pet
I mean… they already have small dogs, but I feel like Eggsy would beg Harry to adopt a giant, small horse more like it, dog.
What couple traditions they have
Every night before they go to sleep, Eggsy kisses the scars around Harry’s eye.
What tv shows they watch together
I don’t know any UK tv shows :/ … Doctor Who?
Another couple they hang out with
They for sure make Merlin third wheel a lot. Maybe they hang out with whoever Roxy is dating or other agents and their significant others.
How they spend time together as a couple
Missions, fucking like rabbits, dinner dates at fancy restaurants, awkward lunches with Eggsy’s mother and little sister, and even more awkward holiday dinners with Harry’s family.
Who made the first move
Eggsy because Harry refused, having convinced himself he was too old and boring for Eggsy to love.
Who brings flowers home
Harry because he is a gentleman. 
“Chivalry is not dead, thank you very much” 
        - Harry Hart muttering to himself as Eggsy laughs at him in the living room.
Who is the best cook
Harry Hart is an amazing chef and Eggsy is secretly very jealous.
Who snores
Both, but at differing levels. Eggsy is a chainsaw posing as a superspy and Harry is a gentle wheezing sound.
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sassy-headcanons · 5 years
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mmm this batjokes au huh
mmm, okay, so bear with me here but
bruce wayne sees one last catastrophe, and it’s a big one. a big train crash, or a whole apartment block goes down, and like everything, like everything, it can be traced down to citywide corruption. 
not to one of the super villains. not to one of the criminals. just to a group of politicians and businessmen cutting corners and looking after each other, and as batman, bruce hears these guys going through this shit… and he’s had enough. 
he calls a group of villains together with some kinda bat signal. poison ivy. the joker and harley. two face. penguin. riddler. freeze. they all come out to this deserted fucking warehouse, and there, sitting on a desk with his legs swinging down, is bruce wayne. big dude, handsome, cleft chin. nice suit.
“you know,” he says quietly, running a hand through perfectly coiffed hair. “i’ve just about had it with gotham. i’m done with it, actually. i’m finished here.”
and all the villains are like, what the fuck. where’s batman??? what the– bruce wayne? what?
“is that so, sweetheart?” joker says, and he’s immediately stepping forward, dragging his hand over bruce’s cheek because damn, he’s not ever gonna miss a chance to touch a guy like this. “Where ya gonna go?”
“no, no, joker, you misunderstand me,” bruce says, and he gently pushes joker’s hand down. joker turns a look to penguin and riddler like “get a load of this guy!” and they’re just like, we hate you joker, but you have a point. “I’m not going anywhere. gotham’s the one that’s changing. not me.”
“What do you mean?” Ivy asks, slowly.
and bruce explains. politicians? they’ve all gotta go. mayor’s office? out. most of the corp offices? gone. big wall goes up around gotham - big wall. a few hundred feet high, nobody comes in, nobody goes out. we stock up, and we fix things. fix what? fix everything.
just imagine bruce wayne setting up a fucking monarchy, and making all these fucking villains his generals. like… if they have enough money and they have actually nice places to live, if they’ve got stuff to do, most of them don’t actually give a fuck about villainy.
very strict, stringent import/export thing, but suddenly gotham is exporting shit the likes of which the rest of the world kinda desperately wants, so they go with it. they have to. gotham and the surrounding state area… it’s its own thing now, and it’s not worth fighting with.
with ivy, the whole thing can be a biocity. no more dim, dank, dismal gotham! no more fumes - everything’s eco friendly now. flowers bloom on every street. the fucking skyscrapers are insulated with grass and thick-growing vine. penguin runs fuckin entertainment venues. harvey’s justice attorney again, and justice is strict, but with no capital punishment. riddler runs the power grids, and runs city-wide entertainment schemes - fucking wildass scavenger hunts, citizens rewards for figuring out riddles, the kinda shit that goes wild on social media. freeze takes over the running of gotham general, and suddenly the hospital actually has funds??? money??? harley takes over arkham asylum, and makes it…… actually a good fucking hospital.
and there’s joker. standing in the middle of the warehouse, his hands in his pockets, his head tilted slightly to the side. all the villains are standing in varying states of “what the fuck”, staring at this rich kid that’s obviously cracked like a fucking egg, but joker… joker’s intrigued.
“Well, you called me here too, Brucey,” he says, laughing. “Whaddya– You think I want in on your cute lil utopia? What do I get outta this? No more fun! No more chaos!”
“Well, Joker, I’d have thought that was obvious,” Bruce says simply. “I’m not the one that called you here. They all get purpose - they get funding, jobs, responsibilities, lives. You don’t get any of that.”
“What do I get, then? Nice big rocket launcher? Nice new car? A boy t–” 
“Joker,” Bruce says. “You get Batman.” And it’s like the whole word narrows to a point. Joker, standing in the middle of the room, staring into space. 
They’re all in. 
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sassy-headcanons · 6 years
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When you get this, answer with 5 things that make you happy, then send it to the last 10 people in your recent activity :D
1. My Cat, Fuzzy-Butt
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2. My Lizards. Bradley, Conti, Smarty-Pants, Smaug, and Bumpy-Butt
Bumpy:
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Conti:
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Brad:
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Smarty:
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3. Halloween!
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4. Drawing
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5. Dinosaurs
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@winchester-in-a-trenchcoat @rainbowunicorndemonturtle @coffeee-bean @consultingdetectivestrange @wellthenjustfuckoff @kdfrqqg @dw-sw @rxcknrollrebel @13bluecat13 @shejustcalledmeafish
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sassy-headcanons · 6 years
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Bright Headcanon:
I had a thought while I was making imagines on my other blog. I started thinking about piercing and elves.
What if elves pierce the tips of their ears cause it's rebellious. Like putting a gold ring through the very tip of their pointed ears.
I don't know.. it could also just be a fashion thing, but what if seeing an elf with a small hole in the tip of their ears means they were a rebellious teenager?
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sassy-headcanons · 6 years
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300 followers!
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sassy-headcanons · 6 years
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Nwalin Headcanons:
It’s Nwalin week y’all!
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Who hogs the duvet
Nori, and he 100% can get away with it. Dwalin feels the covers move away from him and he pulls another one from under the bed (there’s like 10). There is no way Dwalin is going to try to take the covers back from a sleepy, cold, Nori.
Who’s the most creative when it comes to gifts
I feel like Dwalin is complete shit when it comes to giving gifts, and even worse at making them. He’s a skilled dwarf in the forge when it comes to weapons, but the second he’s making a gift of any kind he blanks. Nori loves making gifts for the people he cares about. It comes from his thief days, everyone thought the gifts he was giving were stolen. He now has a tendency to make over the top, wacky gifts. Like, there’s-no-way-you-stole-that-who-would-own-that-in-the-first-place kinda gift.
Who gets up first in the morning
I have a personal headcanon that Nori is a morning person. The minute the sun rises he’s up and going. He’s like a jack rabbit first thing in the morning, all you see is a flash of red hair buzzing around their home. Dwalin, on the other hand, is dead to the world in the morning. Nori’s even gone so far as to literally push him off the bed, and it does nothing!
Who suggests new things in bed
I love the trope of a big badass guy with tattoos, bulging muscles, and a gruff personality being super shy in bed. Nori is a kinky bastard, does that really surprise anyone?
Who cries at plays, books, whatever for dwarves
Dwalin, he’s a big softy at heart.
Who gives unprompted messages
Nori. As Spymaster he has to be everywhere at once, know everything, and if that means following Dwalin just to see if he can sneak up on him…
What are they like when they’re sick
Dwalin: Grumpy and disoriented. When he’s sick, he’s sick. Dwalin doesn’t get little sniffly colds, no, he gets two inches from death doorstep. He used to try to hide it, but learned young not to since he can’t seem to kick illness like his peers.
Nori: For all the terrible places Nori has stayed in his life, the nasty things he’s ingested, he has an amazing immune system. Nori can kick nearly any illness with a few days. You can tell if he’s sick because he tries to play it off, pretend he’s not sick. “Me siCk? No! nO! NeVEr…”
Who gets jealous easiest
Nori, Dwalin is technically a part of the main Durin line, and a champion of Erebor. He has a huge beard, tattoos, scars, and is an amazing warrior. Nori, with his thieving past, can’t see why a dwarf like Dwalin would want to be with him. This causes some major self esteem issues that lead to jealousy of anyone Nori deems a “better fit” for Dwalin. It took Ori scolding him for Nori to realise he was being stupid.
Who collects something unusual
Nori really like amethyst, and Dwalin knew this. Everyone knew this, but Dwalin found out just how much he likes the gems when they started living together. More and more of their things were brought to the mountain by family members as they moved to Erebor. Chest, after chest, arrived at their doorstep full of amethyst. When Dwalin asked Nori about it, all he said was, “What, it’s pretty.”
Who takes the longest to get ready
Nori! Have you seen his hair!?
Who is the tidiest and organized
Nori, for a good portion of his life he was on the run, needed to be ready to leave at a moments notice. Dwalin is learning the hard way, old habits die hard.
Who is the big spoon/little spoon
The switch. Whoever needs comfort is the little spoon.
Who gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports
DWALIN! Oh my gad, he is so competitive! Especially when they’re sparring. He has to win, cause this is his area of expertise… though, that’s not always how it goes, Nori is surprisingly fast.
Who starts the most arguments
I don’t really know. I see them as a couple that argue, but not major ones. Just light bickering and doing stuff just to piss the other one off.
Who suggests that they buy a pet
Dwalin, and he probably wants the smallest, fluffiest, puff ball of a puppy imaginable!
What couple traditions they have
Dwalin cooks two nights a Monday and Wednesday. Nori cooks two night a Tuesday and Thursday. On Friday they eat dinner with the company and their families. Saturday they have lunch with Balin, then dinner with Ori and Dori. Sunday is their leftovers in bed day.
Another couple they hang out with
Thorin and Bilbo or Dori and Balin
How they spend time together as a couple
Relaxing, snuggled up together on the bed, reading to each other until they fall asleep. Or, having hot sex everywhere but said bed.
Who made the first move
Nori, right before they went into the mountain, he was like ‘What the hell’ and told Dwalin about how he felt, cause really, they were about to face a dragon.
Who brings flowers home
Nori did it as a joke once, and he going to just leave it as that. However, Ori and he were having lunch, and Nori found out that Dwalin told Balin, who told Dori, who told Ori: Dwalin really liked being giving flowers at the end of the day.
Who is the best cook
Neither are particularly picky, but everyone in the company agrees that the food Dwalin tastes best between the two.
Who snores
Both. There’s no denying it, all dwarves snore like chainsaws.
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sassy-headcanons · 6 years
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Grocket Headcanon:
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Who hogs the duvet
Probably Rocket, but I bet every now and again Groot rolls over and takes everything with him.
Who texts/rings to check how their day is going
Neither, they’re together 24/7
Who’s the most creative when it comes to gifts
Rocket. He loves to build stuff for Groot.
Who gets up first in the morning
Rocket, Groot could sleep all day if you let him.
Who suggests new things in bed
My personal headcanon is that they’re in a asexual relationship.
Who cries at movies
Groot, he’s got too much of a heart not to.
Who gives unprompted messages
Groot, and because no one else can understand him, Rocket has to act neutral at all times.
What they’re like when they’re sick
Groot: Imagine a dying plant. Wrong coloring, wilting, and kinda squishy. Also his nose runs, but it’s the sticky sap you find on trees.
Rocket: Doesn’t let anyone know he’s sick. He’ll literally work until he passes out.
Who gets jealous easiest
Rocket. However, I think Groot will be the jealous one on Earth. He’s small and fuzzy. He’s adorable and I can just see people wanting to pet him, and Groot’s not gonna like it.
Who collects something unusual
I can’t think of anything cause before the guardians, they were always on the run. They didn’t have the time or space to be collecting stuff.
Who takes the longest to get ready
Rocket, but that’s mainly because his fur gets rumpled when he sleeps so he has to brush it.
Who is the tidiest and organized
Rocket! He makes bombs for fun, he needs organization!
Who gets most excited about the holidays
IDK. I don’t know space holidays. If I had to guess, Groot.
Who is the big spoon/little spoon
Little spoon Rocket 100%
Who gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports
Rocket!
Who starts the most arguments
Rocket
Who suggests that they buy a pet
GROOT! He loves everything and wants every animal he sees!
What couple traditions they have
First thing in the morning, Groot brushes Rocket’s fur.
What tv shows they watch together
I think Rocket would be picky, but Groot can binge watch anything.
Another couple they hang out with
Peter and Gamora, Yondu and Kraglin (fight me)
Who made the first move
Groot made many first moves, though, Rocket didn’t realize he was asking him out. Growing flowers no one has seen before. Repeatedly growing a plant Rocket said was pretty on some planet months before. Rocket got kinda grumpy one day and go onto him about growing plants everyday, that they didn’t need these. It hurt Groot, he thought he was being rejected. It took Groot ignoring him for a few days for him to realize he’d hurt Groot’s feeling. He went to apologize and Groot snapped about how he loves Rocket and he understands if he doesn’t like him back, he just didn’t like how rude Rocket was about it. Once Rocket got his head out of his ass and stopped ignoring his feeling, he apologized to Groot and told him he liked him too.
Who brings flowers home
Groot, obviously.
Who is the best cook
Rocket, he can make anything taste good, even garbage.
Who snores
ROCKET!
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