poets-at-rest

[poets-at-rest]

We broke up a few months ago. And he doesn’t know that it stings every time our song comes on. Every time someone uses his favorite gun in Call Of Duty. When the sun sets or I’m walking alone on a football field. Every little thing is like a million pins in my skin and I want to cry, but I can’t. I think I’ve wasted all my tears on you now…

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[poets-at-rest]

What you don’t realize is that you’re pushing me away. You make no effort to make me feel special. There’s no compliments. There’s no telling me you love me. There’s no making sure you have time for me.

You think saying sorry is going to make it hurt less when I haven’t heard your voice in four days. But really the only thing I’m hearing is that you don’t care to even think about finding time for me. Every time you apologize, it’s just another half-assed attempt at preserving a relationship you’re not even sure you want.

You say you think I’m dying. That I’m too difficult. You say you’re killing me. The thing is, if you realized that I was important to you and you made the effort to be with me, there wouldn’t be a problem. Instead I’m the only thing in your life that’s not worth the energy.

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[poets-at-rest]

I guess I don’t expect us to be perfect.

But I want to be happy. And I want you to be happy. And I’ll do anything to make that happen.

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[poets-at-rest]

I’m the ghosts in your pictures,

The scars on your brain,

The memories that just won’t go away.

I’m the aftertaste,

The one that got away,

And the song you can’t get out of your head.

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[poets-at-rest]

This rain reminds me of you. Coming out of nowhere, falling into my soul. I breathe you in to give me life. Every time you say my name, it’s a flood of emotions.

Accidental nicknames are starting to feel less like mistakes. Can you tell I’m falling? Falling hard like raindrops on the sidewalk.

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[poets-at-rest]

“Passion is temporary but love is enduring”

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[poets-at-rest]

He’s my heart~

[poets-at-rest]

I love the way he lives and breathes and exists ~

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[poets-at-rest]

He’s the stars I wish on at night and the red on my cheeks.

He blows butterflies into my stomach with a breath like a gentle breeze on my favorite day.

He’s the sun I soak in. I know I need him for my health.

He’s my world,

The ground beneath my feet,

And my heart.

He’s everything I need.

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[poets-at-rest]

I love him for the way he giggles after every teasing thought. And the way he smiles when his video game goes just right. The way he brags when he’s making all the right moves.

I love him for the way he buries himself into music and how he struggles facing reality. He’s trying every escape. When he gets too angry. And has to take a step back. I love him for the vulnerability of his soul.

I love that he wants to love me in a way nobody else has. For the way he clings to me when he’s hurting. For all the words he never holds back and all the feelings he’s too scared to admit.

I can never express the way I love him for the way he cares too much. How he gives everything for love. How his joy is his and his alone.

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[poets-at-rest]

And I hope that one day, he realizes I love him for all the right reasons-

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[poets-at-rest]

How does it feel to own every ounce of my heart and barely know who I am?

Can you hear me crying your name every time our song comes on? Can you taste the tears I cry for you?

Do you ever look at the stars that I wish on, thinking one of them will help you fall back into my soul?

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[poets-at-rest]

God do not let me fall for this boy. There’s been enough time spent on broken hearts and chasing things that don’t exist. I’ll sit in my loneliness in another 4 years if it means I never shatter my heart again.

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[poets-at-rest]

You’re the rain I’m praying to wet my life that’s drying up. When shooting stars soar by, it’s you I’m wishing for.

You’re the smile on my lips. Your name is my favorite song and your moans my best serenade. Your body is my favorite movie.

It’s you. You’re the one I’m falling in love with.

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[poets-at-rest]

Just cuz you throw stones while they throw boulders, doesn’t mean you’re innocent. Just means you’re less guilty.

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[poets-at-rest]

God I hate hating myself but I can’t stop shaking. I beg myself to stop these thoughts but the darkness is overwhelming. This is shaking like an old car on its last leg or a clown juggling during a balancing act.

Don’t breathe. This Jenga game is so close. One wrong breath and my whole world will fall apart.

Bandages don’t heal gun shot wounds. But who was I fighting anyway? You or me?

Can you hear the chaos of my thoughts? Every word crashing into another and I swear these lines make no sense but neither does my soul.

The blame is on me this time. Never should have walked out. Forgot my crutches and now I’m crashing to the ground. Really forgot how cold it is down here.

Getting in my head like a bear getting into a beehive, knowing it’s going to sting while praying for something sweet

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[poets-at-rest]

I want to give up. But giving up means losing all our progress.

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