myworldonmyshoulders

[myworldonmyshoulders]

Hey world, yes, yes, I am a McClainiac 😂😂

I would just like to say first of all a big massive Happy 19th Birthday to Gabriel. (From the outside looking in 😂) You are super funny as heck, you seem very daring too, but the thing that stands out to me most when we do see you, is the genuine Love that you have, freely give and have no issue of expressing it to your family. It's not something that we see a lot these days if I'm honest and it is SO refreshing. I hope you have a wonderful day, even during quarantine, you have the best family ever so I'm sure you will 😊❤❤

The full display of Love is something I've noticed about this family overall. (Now I ain't trynna make this about colour right? But I'm black sooooo.....😂 sorry?).....I was raised in a family where "I Love You" were/are foreign words and the display of Love was/is in materialistic things. Hugging a family member? Have you lost your whole mind😐? Saying "I Love You"? Be prepared to receive silence as a response. So to see a family, a Black Family at that showing so much love to each other just so casually (they'd probably read this like: "👀 this person good orrrrr????") is actually mind blowing to me 😂. And to add to it, Gabriel, as a Black Male, in this here 21st century (as far as I've seen) doesn't seem to have an issue showing Love to his sisters? Lookey Here now Mr and Mrs McClain (with the literal utmost respect I could even possibly give to anyone), we need that blueprint 😂😂. You have literally managed to raise your kids in an era where 1. Being black is a problem (your kids are beautiful and handsome and they know it), 2. Showing and Expressing Love seems to be seen as a weakness rather than strength and 3. They are the most humble set of human beings I follow (🤯 huh?)

From someone who lives and breathes black dysfunctional families, literally all around me. I would like to say thank you to Mr and Mrs McClain for showing me what expressing Love freely without expecting anything looks like and I would also like to thank China, Sierra, Lauryn and Gabriel for showing me what Love between siblings looks like. I know we don't KNOW you guys and we really don't see that much of you (I actually really Love this too 😂 weird for a fan to say right? Not really? Okay🤔😂) but when we do see you the Love is so evident, even when you're not with each other. Absolutely Love you guys and will always support everything you do 😏

Lots of Loves

Me

XOXO

#McClains #McClainiac #i love them #love #gabriel mcclain #gabe #black family #siblings #expression #happybirthday

[myworldonmyshoulders]

I’m Not Enough

I don’t look like a model 

Neither do I shape like one, 

I can’t walk like a model 

I know I’ll never be enough 

I’m not beautiful or slim

I don’t have a bangin body, I’m not even trim 

I am a cough potato

I know I’ll never be enough

I’m a michelin girl

I have roles everywhere and stretchmarks for days

I don’t have a pretty face, or pretty eyes 

my hair is stuck in the middle phase

I am not black and beautiful, I’m more like Black and the Beast 

But with a small speck of light, the size of a mustard seed

I quietly hope that one day, someone may Love me

#black #fat and ugly #i am ugly #model #not enough

[myworldonmyshoulders]

Betrayal

When you first came in I thought you were good 

You told me everything I wanted to hear 

For years it was good 

But then I started seeing the real you 

You stole me and pretend it is you 

You stole my Heart and pretend it is yours 

You’ve sucked everything out of me 

And you pretend it is all you 

Now I sit in the corner with a broken identity 

pieces of myself everywhere 

Where am I? Who am I? 

It’s all gone and now they think that you are you 

But you are really just me in a different flesh 

Wolf Wrapped in Sheep’s Clothing

#wolf #i've been betrayed #stolen #identity #lost #sheep

[myworldonmyshoulders]

Without Mother

What do you do when mother is missing?

What do you do when the person who is supposed to be your best friend isn’t there?

What do you do when the person who is supposed to be your lifelong confidant, is absent?

What happens when you are Without Mother

Who do you turn to for a blueprint of what a real Women is supposed to look like?

Who’s shoulder will you lay on when those tears fall at night?

Who guides you when your identity is being forged?

Who teaches you compassion,

When you are Without Mother

Who teaches you trust, Who teaches you how to Love, Without A Mother

When you are without mother you learn to learn from everything around you

You Learn by getting bruised by life

You Learn the hard way

You learn to turn your heart To God so he can teach and guide you

You look at every inspirational female and take a deep look at their attributes, you pick out what you like and you try it for yourself

You get deeply hurt, but you always struggle back to your feet and keep pushing

Without Mother you Learn to be tough, sometimes a little too tough

Without Mother you are rough around the edges

Toxic but so lovable

Without Mother you explore a strength you should never have to explore and you fight your way through

Because even Without a Mother, God Has Got You <3

#emtions #heartbreak #motherless #godsplan #god

[myworldonmyshoulders]

Sometimes it feels like what I'm doing just isn't worth it.

#hopeless #open heart #questions #midnightthoughts

[myworldonmyshoulders]

The Story PT1

This story is about a little girl that grew up on a far away island, well, far away from where she is now. She was raised by people she couldn't call Mum and Dad but Aunty and Uncle.

Her childhood was wonderful. She had lots of friends and a best friend, they were stuck together by the hip it would seem at times. She bad lots of adventures, crab catching, she also did some running from crabs after antagonising them 😂, river swimming, sweet treats making, mango picking, church going, choir singing. You name it, she wanted to be in on it.

She knew who she was and she was confident, she was bold, she was fearless and fun loving. I mean sure, she struggled with some stuff but what 5 year old didn't?. But most if all, she was free, she was free in her mind, body, soul and spirit. It's a pity one day that would all change.

#story #storytelling #just the beginning #christianity #painful #hurt #healing

[myworldonmyshoulders]

WELCOME!!!

Hey, I’m new to the neighbourhood :). I thought I would make an account as a “Dear Diary” as I’m ALWAYS in my thoughts lol and I thought it would help maybe others not to feel alone but also help me not to feel alone in my thoughts too :).

A Bit About Me: I’m currently at Uni, I am a Christian. In My late 20′s (basically getting old LOL). Ive been through a lot and I’m on a journey of healing with God. Hopefully this helps with that too. I’m really just another person struggling through life hoping to connect with others struggling through life. So here, goes nothing hehe *picture someone jumping into a swimming pool*

#christianity #struggle #healing #hope #student