I moved in with my grandmother at a point in my life where all seemed hopeless. Running away from everything I feared about growing up, I found sanctuary in one of the two bedrooms my dad and his 6 brothers and sisters all shared growing up. I was an alcoholic. I didn’t even know it yet. The drink was slowly creeping up my shoulders and around my neck. Strangling the life out of me while I wore it proudly like a piece of jewelry.
As I was unpacking my things, sipping a little here and there to escape the tormenting shame that massaged my shoulders with self-loathing and suicidal thoughts, I saw some sunshine sparkling through the dusty old curtains. I opened them. To my surprise there was a birds nest in the bush right outside the window. It was nestled up so close to the glass snd I could see inside. There were four beautiful little blue eggs inside. For the first time in weeks, my heart filled with inspiration and hope. I had precious childhood memories of peeking into my mother’s ferns and finding nests of tiny little eggs. I would check on them daily with my father. He would pick me up in his big strong arms and we would look in the nests to see if the eggs had hatched. When they did, it was so adorable to watch the babies stick their wriggling little necks up all at once and open their tiny little beaks so wide. They seemed to be starving! I knew this was a sign from God. Right here in the window I could sit and watch this beautiful little bird family up close. I knew this was God telling me that he loved me and that He was with me. He provided this perfect little nest just for me to watch in hope and in awe as the little baby birds hatched and started their new lives. This was a beginning. There was hope. I would be ok. I would figure this out all on my own with no help from anyone.
To be continued.
Are you facing a challenge or a battle in your life today? Me too! Think on these things as you walk by faith, walking through to victory🏆. Heaven is on our side! NEVER STOP PRAYING GLOBAL. Be Vision: You are, you can, you have! Believe, be inspired, be transformed and be like Christ. Connect with us on www.nicoledroberts.co.uk and firstname.lastname@example.org. #God #JesusChrist #HolySpirit #Dreambigger #Godsplan #choosejoy #choosepeace #choosejesus #jesuspaiditall #Godlovesyou #livebygrace #faithoverfear #mindofchrist #successmindset #breakthrough #tdjakes #TDJOnline #joelosteenpodcast #joycemeyer #realtalkkim #worldchangers #planetshakers #encouragement SAY YES TO JESUS TODAY. https://www.instagram.com/p/CPAOU_9pDQP/?utm_medium=tumblr
Stuck in a grey area: Goals and Ambitions
Back when I was in elementary I can remember activities asking us to draw what we want to be when we grow up, and similar to my female classmates most of us drew a girl character wearing a white uniform from top to bottom, inside the hospital attending two or three patients. The setting was always the same, I told the class I wanted to be a nurse without really knowing why and how it took to get there. As I grew older, I wanted to be a flight attendant. Seeing my mom sit for 9 hours a day, encoding, I knew I did not want an ordinary office life, and for the longest time my dream to get paid as I travel the world remained.
Until I got to my Junior year, there was a sudden longing for the arts, acting in particular. Similar to Katy Perry’s 2008 hit single “Hot n Cold” lyrics, I changed my mind like how a girl changes clothes. Now, as college seemed to get closer, I wanted to enroll in Theater Arts or to pause my studies and try to enter the industry by auditioning in the hopes to be casted one day. In my perspective, my goal was clear, however, my mom opposed to the idea, although I’m not certain if it was the idea of her daughter acting or stopping school, my dad on the other hand supported me and just wanted me to be happy. It’s a struggle, conflicted to either obey or to disobey. In conclusion, I stayed at school, finished Junior year, With honors and pursued Senior year, but I was stuck in a grey area.
At some point in my life I wanted to be a Karate teacher, an ophthalmologist, a psychiatrist, a professional dancer, and or a business woman. Similar to many students struggle with I have many ambitions and goals in life that sometimes instead of being led to enlightenment it let me to be confused, overwhelmed, and clueless on what to do with my life. Today, I am fortunate to have a clear plan. I know what I want to do and how to possibly achieve it. Although my dream and next step towards it is to remain unsaid, I can share that the first phase of my plan is to enter a University and course suited for me, and I am blessed to be in a position where I am happy.
I may not have everything worked out for now, overall, I can picture myself at the altar, testifying my success story, and how by God’s strength made it all possible for me.
1 note · View note