maude-ivory

[maude-ivory]

Heartsong

Everyone dreams of finding the other half of their heartsong. You know your heartsong from birth, grow up surrounded by the music that is you, and after a certain age, you're always listening for the one person in all the world--your soulmate--whose song exactly matches yours.

My sister found her soulmate in kindergarten; all through school, they sat by each other as often as they could, their heartsongs all the brighter for being shared.

I know girls who tricked themselves half a dozen times into thinking that they'd found the one, only noticing the clashing notes of their songs after the relationship had crashed and burned.

There are entire streaming services for heartsongs--in college, my friends listened to almost nothing else, waiting desperately to hear the song that would align with theirs.

I was no different than other girls. I tried all the usual tactics. I developed a good ear--maybe too good, because I always noticed the subtle differences in the closest matches. I dated a few of those, hoping the theory would prove true that heartsongs could develop over time so we'd grow to match each other. Every one of those relationships ended the moment the guy heard the heartsong of his true soulmate.

I went to countless social events. I tried the sites online. I even did a bit of world traveling, in case my soulmate had been hiding all this time on the other side of the globe.

As year after year (after year after year after year) went by with no success, I was forced to accept the truth--I had no soulmate.

Maybe my soulmate had died. Maybe I was too strange to have a match. However it had happened, I was a superfluous person, doomed to be always alone.

The revelation crushed me at first. I was strange, unlovable, incomplete. I was half a person whose heartsong would never be whole.

My mom came over the night of my revelation and found me weeping on the floor of my kitchen. She hugged me, let me cry, and then cooked me a meal.

By the time my tears had dried enough to let me take a bite of the spaghetti, I noticed her heartsong was clearer than ever--and it meshed with mine. It wasn't a match--it was better than that. My heartsong served as a descant to hers, our two melodies blending into a new song.

After that, I stopped trying to listen for one specific song, and started listening to every song. My friends had heartsongs that blended with mine in different ways--when a group of us were together, we became a symphony. My brother's heartsong was a lower version of mine--our growing up together had given us a shared bond. When the grocery store cashier and I shared a laugh, for just a moment, our heartsongs fell into harmony.

There was not one song, one relationship, that defined and completed my life. Every relationship was important. Every relationship was beautiful.

It's possible, I suppose, that my soulmate is out there. Maybe one day I'll hear that song that perfectly matches mine, and enjoy a bond that different than any of the others in my life.

But if I don't find him, it doesn't matter.

Because I'm more than one half of an incomplete song.

I am a vital part of countless symphonies.

#okay everybody can go home now #this is hands-down the best take on soulmates i've ever seen #that we don't just have one important relationship in our lives #it's about the way we all interact in community #the only soulmate nonsense I’ll probably ever reblog #soulmates

[maude-ivory]

Isopod charms 30 breeds to choose from by eattoast

#jewlery #isopod #charms #isopod charms #bug #bug jewelry #insects #goblincore

[maude-ivory]

sold

I really adore this one. also I like the way the rim turned out. I was planning to do the inside in blue but changed my mind last minute, but some of the clear glaze got on the rim so there's a white area

#oh i love this #extremely loud wants #pottery #ceramics #bunnies #rabbits #the horrors #persist #but so do we

[maude-ivory]

#swans #black and white swans #opposing desires

[maude-ivory]

I think the Jedi council should have at least considered sending obi-wan over to Dooku to be like “yes hello I am here for sith training” just to see what would happen

#Star Wars #funnies #wholesome

[maude-ivory]

TINY WRLD (2020)

#animals #cute animals #insects #bugs #monkeys #curiosity #nature #gentle hands

[maude-ivory]

"I think youll find Im universally recognised as a mature and responsible adult."

"Its just a lot of wavy lines"

"Yeah, shorted out. Finally, a lie too big. "

#doctor who #eleventh doctor #finally a lie too big #doctor who fanart #dr who fanart #11th doctor #dr who

[maude-ivory]

Rory and Jess + "epithets" for each other

#gilmore girls #rory gilmore #literati #jess mariano

[maude-ivory]

the thing about Murderbot's """relationship""" with Gurathin is that the first time it vocally expressed its dislike for Gurathin was the very first time it was ever able to vocally express its dislike for anyone.

And it was not punished! Nothing bad happened to it because of this! The PreservationAux team was just like, fine, your opinion is noted and valid, we still all have to work together to not die though.

for someone who was never allowed to let anyone else know it even had opinions, this is a big fucking deal.

its actions toward Gurathin later on (especially obvious in Fugitive Telemetry) show that it considers Gurathin a trusted and valued teammate. And maybe it will never remove the "I don't like him" tag from Gurathin's internal profile but that is not a sign of their friendship needing repair, it is a sign that Murderbot feels safe and free enough to be a little bitchy hater. and i say, good for it!

#murderbot #the murderbot diaries #Murderbot meta #swearing #sorry #SO MUCH THIS #Mensah is Momfriend #Gurathin is Dadfriend

[maude-ivory]

basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up. and also really bad at going to sleep

#funnies #mood #sleep #bad at sleep #bad at waking #WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME #permanently exhausted pigeon

[maude-ivory]

i’m in this photo and i don’t like it

Me: Okay, Brain. Think about what happens next in this chapter.

Brain: *Skips three chapters ahead*

Me: No, no. This one, this chapter, the one we are writing right now.

Brain:.......*47 scenes forward*

Me: NO

#funnies #writing #writing memes #writing woes

[maude-ivory]

#underwater flowers #flowers

[maude-ivory]

my best friend and i have this theory that many of our interactions with the world around us can be approached from two broad perspectives: life as a narrative (i interact with the world and the world interacts with me) or life as an environment (the world interacts with the world and i happen to be in it).

in almost all cases, both things are true simultaneously, and i believe most people are inclined one way or the other, but depending on the situation, reflecting on which side you view it from might help with acceptance or change.

a narrative perspective can help you see yourself as a actor able to change their fate, but also lead to unfair self-blame or frustration with the rest of the world when you are not able to change said external factors. being stuck in traffic and hating everyone in a car and yourself when you are late at work because this always happens on important days when this is just what being alive in our world means is a benign example, but narrative fallacy can easily make you view a series of unrelated events in your life as divine punishment or personal failure instead.

at the same time, while an environmental perspective can make it easier to accept things you can and could not influence, it can also leave you stuck in unfavorable situations because you don't consider action a viable or productive option. an environmental fallacy would be hating everything about your job and your relationships with your coworkers but accepting this as a natural part of being an adult when actionable steps, be it self assertion or a job change, could improve the situation in your favour.

of course, not every interaction with the world fits into two neat categories, but often when i am frustrated or angry with the world or myself, it helps to take a moment and ask myself. is this my narrative or my environment? and if it's both, am i looking at it from the wrong direction? am i stuck in the environmental perspective, standing in front of an open door and lamenting being locked inside? or am i stuck in the narrative, rattling at the closed window instead of giving up of enjoying the view?

#writing tips #perspective #narrative and environment

[maude-ivory]

one day her mothman will come…

An overgrown light pole in Poland

#cryptid lamp #goblincore #who IS she

[maude-ivory]

#rivercore #water lillies

[maude-ivory]

my father sent me this and i need to save it

#funnies #stop sign and no stopping sign #moods #life #this is what it feels like #autism #anxiety

[maude-ivory]

The Murderbot Diaries: The Musical

the urge to make a tma animatic is Strong

#the murderbot diaries #Murderbot the musical