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The Best Games of 2007 | Gaming Has Matured

This project has been a lot of fun. I didn't realize it, but I've been subconsciously making these lists for years. When looking at year-by-year groups of games, these top 10s have been jumping out at me. So, 2007 is already here and it's without a doubt the best list so far.

Remember, (I say as if anyone is reading) this post will be written as if it were published in Dec. of 2007, so all critiques will be from that perspective. LFG!

#10 - Ratchet and Clank Future: Tools of Destruction

Ratchet games have always been some of the best games in its respective genre. Tools of Destruction is no exception. It builds on the chaotic nature of its predecessors, brings the Lombax into HD, and adds a much-welcomed cinemax spin to the story. A surprisingly serious Ratchet & Clank was not a thing I saw coming, but in the end, it was more than welcomed.

#9 - Halo 3

This year we "finished the fight" and despite its low spot on this list, Halo 3 was a triumph. Being #9 on a list of absolute bangers, says much more about the overall quality of the list than it does about Halo's appeal. Halo 3 is the best in the series so far, it's bigger and better than the first two in every way and is further proof that Xbox Live is the hottest thing in gaming right now.

#8 - Uncharted: Drake's Fortune

The developers of Jak & Daxter traded in their cartoony platformer card for an Indiana Jones/Lara Croft-inspired adventure game named Uncharted. The story is cinematic and over-the-top, it's one of the most beautiful console games ever made and it just might be the PS3's first must-own title. It's got some technical hiccups here and there, but nothing is stopping it from being the belle of the Playstation 3's ball this year.

#7 - Rock Band

Harmonix has done it again. The makers of Guitar Hero have leveled up the experience and built a full-band rhythm game. Quality control issues aside, the Rock Band instruments are the best the genre has seen thus far. That means no more loud clicky guitars. The drumming experience they've built is the most pick-up-and-play thing I've seen since last year's Wii Sports. They even allow you to sing the songs on its fantastic songlist. A list that can grow with purchasable songs in the DLC library. I played A LOT of Rock Band this year and I don't see that stopping anytime soon.

#6 - Assassin's Creed

Ubisoft Montreal's spiritual successor to Prince of Persia is the sleek and captivating Assassin's Creed. Using deep world-building, high-concept sci-fi, and a charming historical context, Assassin's Creed pushes gaming forward in both narrative and technical ways. Like Uncharted, gameplay can get clunky from time to time and Altiar's climbing mechanics sometimes feel broken. Assassin's Creed may not be perfect, but it seems important and that's even more than Ubisoft was even asking for.

#5 - God of War II

As the PS2's last hurrah, GOW2 only had to be better than its predecessor. The game ended up being much more than that. God of War 2 is the full realization of what Sony Santa Monica was trying to do the first time around. It's fast-paced, sharp, stressful, and rewarding. Kratos' story is more compelling, and his murder spree is more bloody. The combos are tight, and boss fights are epic. The opening scene is a level-long battle with the Colossus of Rhodes and that experience will stick with me for years.

#4 - Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare

Activision has rewritten the rules for what a war video game can be. Modern Warfare is visceral, unsettling, and fascinating. By taking a Tom Clancy-esq approach to modern warfare, and sprinkling in a pinch of sci-fi, Infinity Ward paints the possibility of the world ending with such a clear picture that it is hard to not be emotionally affected, especially at the game's notorious climax. On top of that, the perks system introduced in multi-player has revolutionized the way players experience FPS deathmatches. Just when you thought war games were getting stagnant, COD4 blows the box wide open.

#3 - Super Mario Galaxy

Coming off the odd Gamecube title Super Mario Sunshine, the 3D Mario games needed a serious boost both conceptually and qualitatively. Super Mario Galaxy is a nearly perfect game. It has boundless whimsy, surprisingly intuitive controls, a stunning presentation, and the cleanest gimmick in gaming today. Running around planets and jumping from one to another with gravity physics makes Super Mario Galaxy feel like a new genre. It threads the needle of feeling welcomingly familiar, while still feeling like a new idea. Galaxy is the only Wii game on my list this year and it's far and away the best Wii game of 2007.

#2 - Portal

Speaking of important video games, Portal is transformative in ways I don't think we're even aware of yet. As a puzzle game, a first-person narrative showpiece, and an atmospheric comedy, Portal is unlike anything we've ever seen in the mainstream game space. Valve is having a moment right now and I don't think any other developer could have given us this tightly crafted, and weirdly quirky Portal game. They could have gotten away with a straightforward portal-based puzzle game that simply invents a game mechanic and then exploits it for 4 hours. Instead, the devs weave a hyper-charming world into the fabric of that mechanic and make a truly unforgettable experience. The cake may be a lie, but the brilliance of Portal is not.

#1 - Bioshock

"Gaming Has Matured" is the name of this list and Bioshock is the strongest proof of that. Movies can transport you into a world you've never seen before and Music can spark your imagination in beautiful ways, gaming creates experiences. Bioshock is an experience. Never has a digital world felt so well-realized as Bioshock's Rapture. The underwater terror den littered with deadly splicers and the brutal and unrelenting Big Daddies set a mood that MUST be experienced. On top of that, the mythology of Rapture's rise and fall is unrivaled. Philosophy, the folly of man's hubris, techno-art-deco, every aspect of Bioshock is carefully crafted to make the story as compelling and believable as possible. The 3rd act plot twist is nothing short of spectacular. Bioshock is a masterpiece and creates a brand-new benchmark for narratively driven first-person shooters.

Notable Omissions

Crysis - Crysis got a lot of attention this year for its top-tier graphics and even toppier tierer technical requirements. I played it and other than its visual prowess, it's a pretty basic FPS. Not bad, but not list worthy.

The Orange Box - This might be the best bundle package in gaming history, but putting it on this list is like saying a band's greatest hits is their best album. That's cheating. Spotlighting the most impressive part of the package (Portal) is the right way to go.

Mass Effect - I'm not an RPG guy. I hear it's good, and maybe I'll play it eventually, but RPGs aren't my bag.

Ok! 2007 was one of the best years in gaming ... ever. I can't wait to talk about the next one.

Cheers

#Super Mario Galaxy #Portal #Bioshock #Call of Duty 4: modern warfare #halo 3 #uncharted drake's fortune #god of war II #rock band #assassin's creed #ratchet and clank future: tools of destruction

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Linkin Park’s Papercuts: A Track-by-Track Breakdown

A week ago Linkin Park dropped their first "Greatest Hits" collection, or as it's branded "Singles Collection 2000–2023". I have much to say about it and I need to put my feelings out into the world. Let's go!

First things first, LP is one of my favorite artists so there was really no way to screw this up. The criticisms I'll throw out during this piece are more preferential issues I have with the collection. As a whole, this is a hugely welcomed release that puts most of the songs you want to hear all in one place. We needed this 5 years ago.

With that said, if I were in charge, there would be some changes I would have suggested before sending this to manufacturing.

I'm going to break this down track by track, critiquing placement, inclusion, omissions, etc. If I were grading this entire package I'd probably give it a 8 out of 10 and that score is coming from a VERY nit-picky place.

LP chose to go with a custom track listing, rather than the popular chronological order. The latter is a convenient choice that leaves bands not needing to make a decision on what songs should be grouped together. Chronologically also presents the collection as a biography or story, telling the history of the band in a logical order.

If a band chooses to curate a tracklisting for their Greatest Hits they really need to "get it right" for the package to be more compelling than a standard chronological release and I don't know if they do. There's an art to constructing a tracklist just like there's an art to building a live setlist.

That's enough preamble, let's get to the nitty-gritty.

Tracks

1. "Crawling" from Hybrid Theory

"Crawling" has never been a favorite of mine. It's one of the weakest tracks on Hybrid Theory and is a bad song to kick off this collection. The track should definitely be included, but the back half would have been a much better home for it.

2. "Faint" from Meteora

A perfect song in the perfect position, "Faint" batting second gets the blood flowing as the biggest hits should be rolling in. No editorial notes on this one.

3. "Numb/Encore" from (mashup with Jay-Z) Collision Course

The whole Collision Course project was a cool gimmick in 2004, but "Numb/Encore" hasn't aged well, and including a Jay-Z collab this early in the tracklisting is a misfire. If they must include it, the back half is the right place. If we're going with novelty tracks I'd prefer "Pts.OF.Athrty" from Reanimation and even it shouldn't be in the #3 slot. #3 should be an iconic hit. Also, two versions of "Numb" in one collection is tacky, imo.

4. "Papercut" from Hybrid Theory

THIS is your track #1! It kicked off the Hybrid Theory album, is the namesake of this very collection, and would've set the proper tone for what is to follow. Just swapping the track placement of "Crawling" and "Papercut" would make a HUGE difference in the overall package.

5. "Breaking the Habit" from Meteora

At this point, we're 5 tracks into this thing and we've got nothing from Minutes to Midnight, ew. "Breaking the Habit" is a fantastic song and a fan favorite, but it is both a later track on Metora and a later released single from the album. I would have put this one in the final cluster of songs. If you swap its placement with "Leave Out All the Rest" you solve two problems.

6. "In the End" from Hybrid Theory

As one of LP's biggest hits, the #6 slot seems a bit dubious. I'd rather see it at or around #3, but I guess it's fine here.

7. "Bleed It Out" from Minutes to Midnight

As previously stated, there should have been some Minutes to Midnight representation before now. I like "Bleed It Out", I'd rather this include "Shadow of the Day" or "Given Up", but I understand "Bleed" is the bigger hit and more representative of the album as a whole. Ultimately I think "What I've Done" should have been here.

8. "Somewhere I Belong" from Meteora

Perfect placement for this song, but if I were to vote a Meteora song out to be replaced by something from say ... The Hunting Party ... this one would be on the chopping block.

9. "Waiting for the End" from A Thousand Suns

This is one of my favorites and as the lone representative from A Thousand Suns, Track 9 feels right. No notes.

10. "Castle of Glass" from Living Things

Living Things, as an album, is kind of a mess, and I've never loved "Castle of Glass". This should have been omitted in favor of "Guilty All the Same" or one of the missing Minutes to Midnight songs. On a 20-song collection, this being in the 10 spot is a misrepresentation of the collection itself.

11. "One More Light" from One More Light

This song holds a precious spot in my heart and while it 1000% belongs in this collection, I can't even begin to say where in the tracklist it should go. One More Light is such a weird and exciting album it's almost a shame the title track is the only one that ever gets attention, with the obvious reason for that being devastatingly sad.

12. "Burn It Down" from Living Things

This should be the only Living Things track on here and #12 seems to be low enough. No further notes.

13. "What I've Done" from Minutes to Midnight

Track 13? Really? This might be the biggest WTF placement on here. Outside of "Numb" and "In the End", "What I've Done" is THE LP anthem. It's the song that should play during the trailer of the LP biopic. It's a great uniter of a track. 13 is whack. It should be in the first 5, without a doubt.

14. "QWERTY" from LP Underground 6.0

"QWERTY" isn't necessary here. It doesn't fit the theme of the overall package, and it was never a "hit" song. It IS, however, a fan-favorite that's never found its way to official streaming platforms, so while it may be the black sheep, it's welcome to steal a slot. For you fans that might have never heard it before, enjoy!

15. "One Step Closer" from Hybrid Theory

I guess you've got to save at least one big hit for the end of the compilation, and I guess "One Step Closer" is a fine one to fill that role, but this really feels like the slot "Crawling" should be occupying.

16. "New Divide" from Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Finally, "New Divide" is on an official LP release and a singles collection is the perfect place for it. It may be a bit too low on the tracklist, but it works here just fine.

17. "Leave Out All the Rest" from Minutes to Midnight

As one of LP's best songs, leaving out "Leave Out All the Rest" would have been a cardinal sin, but since its popularity is nowhere near the bigger hits, number 17 is a fine pace for it.

18. "Lost" from Meteora20

It's good to see even the recent success of "Lost" is being highlighted. No notes.

19. "Numb" from Meteora

It's simple, "Numb" should be last. I get "Friendly Fire" is new and the new stuff on releases like this is usually either first or last, but "Numb" should be the exception. It should be last.

20. "Friendly Fire" from Previously Unreleased

"Friendly Fire" is a great track and its tone lines up nicely with the One More Light album (for which it was originally written). My only note is informed by my love for that album. This track should have been held for an anniversary or special edition of One More Light. I know it's presumptuous to assume anyone wants a deluxe edition of one of their least popular albums, but any extra attention we can throw its way would make me happy.

Total length: 67:57

I'm sure by now someone is jumping into the comments to argue with me and honestly don't care about your opinions. No energy will be wasted fighting over stuff this dumb. What I WILL address though is logistics. With the re-emergence of vinyl as a dominant distribution platform, tracklistings can't be as freeform as they were 20 years ago on Compact Disc.

Your basic CD holds about 80 minutes of music. This collection fits on one disc and easily slots into the few remaining CD shelves at your local Walmarts and Targets. If CD was still the dominant platform, LP and Warner might have shoved 3 more tracks on it to better represent the catalog.

Vinyl is not as forgiving. Sure, since each sind of a 12" record is holds about 20 minutes, a full 80 minutes is still in play, but since their are 3 forced record-flip moments, song length is a huge factor in the final tracklisting.

I've seen weirdness on vinyl releases that specifically address this problem. Like, I've seen the vinyl versions of albums have different track orders to accommodate the 20-minute sides, I've seen mostly empty sides on records, but most egregiously, when blink-182 re-released their 2003 self-titled album on vinyl, Side D was completely blank.

This next section is me trying to build a tracklist that meets my needs as a picky fan-boy, but still fits on the 4 - 20 min sides of 2 vinyl records. Here we go.

Side A - 17:03

"Papercut" 3:05

"Faint" 2:42

"In the End" 3:36

"What I've Done" 3:25

"One More Light" 4:15

Side B - 17:15

"One Step Closer" 2:37

"Bleed It Out" 2:44

"Somewhere I Belong" 3:34

"Waiting for the End" 3:51

"New Divide" 4:29

Side C - 17:42

"Leave Out All the Rest" 3:29

"Burn It Down" 3:50

"Crawling" 3:29

"Pts.OF.Athrty" 3:38

"Breaking the Habit" 3:16

Side D - 17:00

"Shadow of the Day" 4:16

"QWERTY" 3:22

"Lost" 3:19

"Friendly Fire" 2:56

"Numb" 3:07

Well, I thought that would be harder. With most LP tracks being 3-4 minutes in length, the re-arraignment was super modular. All four sides of the records have room to spare. If I really wanted to be a jerk I'd load one or two sides up with short songs to allow the addition of a couple more tracks. Instead, I decided 20 is a nice round number and 5 tracks per side looks good on packaging.

I swapped out "Castle of Glass" and "Numb/Encore" with "Shadow of the Day" and "Pts.OF.Athrty" and it makes the whole thing feel better. I wanted to include something from The Hunting Party, but the best track "All or Nothing" wasn't a single, and the best single "Guilty All the Same" is almost 6 minutes long. Also, after listening to it again, The Hunting Party is not a great representation of the band's best work. I feel comfortable leaving it out completely.

The newer/non-single tracks are bunched up towards the end because that's how it should be and as stated above "Numb" is now last. THIS is a 10/10 collection. I could go deeper and put together a Digital Deluxe collection, or I could throw out all industry standards and rebuild both records with the maximum physical limitation of 25 minutes per side, but that would be overkill (he says after typing 1900 words). Imagine the songs I could put on this baby if given an additional 20 minutes to work with.

Last note, the name of the release is Papercuts (Singles Collection 2000–2023), a fine name, but why include the years? Doing so suggests more is to come. Also, technically, "Friendly Fire" was a single this year so shouldn't it be 2000-2024? Jay Gordon of the band Orgy recently let slip that Linkin Park has a new female singer, but this news has not been corroborated. Is Papercuts simply the end of the Chester era? Is the band working on new music or a tour with a new singer? Is the reason this collection's name stops at 2023 because they plan on releasing more music later this year? Why am I able to come up with so many seemingly justifiable questions from what should be a straightforward Greatest Hits package?

Let me wrap this nonsense up, I'm starting to sound unhinged.

Go listen to Papercuts!

Cheers!

#linkin park #chester bennington #mike shinoda #warner #papercuts #greatest hits #singles collection #nu-metal #2000 rock #rap/rock

[liugeaux]

The Best Games of 2006 | The 7th Gen is Here

In 2006, with the release of the Wii and PS3, the 7th console generation was officially in full swing. This list ended up having a nice mixture of all the consoles on the market, but 2006 began one of the most pivotal era of video games, and this top 10 is a vivid snapshot of the industry at the time.

As always this will be written as if it was written in December of '06 so any later commentary about these series will not be mentioned. Here we go!

#10 - Tomb Raider: Legend

The Tomb Raider franchise has always had a reputation of being a fun, yet arduous series. The puzzles were obtuse and frustrating and controlling Lara was a bit of a chore. This year, the team at Crystal Dynamics has finally gotten the formula right. With the transition from generation to generation it's hard to know which franchises will successfully make the jump to new hardware, and Tomb Raider proves Lara Croft has legs (no pun intended).

#9 - Tetris DS

Tetris is the best puzzle game ever made. It's the puzzle game on which dozens of other puzzle games are built. Tetris has seen a consistent flow of releases over the years and the quality has been shaky, but Tetris DS gets it right in nearly every way. The controls are tight, the gameplay is true, and like its Game Boy predecessors, the DS makes for a great pick-up-and-play Tetris machine. Even the touch-specific game modes are a welcomed detour, but the real star here is the presentation. Most Tetris games have a reverence for the Tetris method, but Tetris DS has a reverence specifically for the original Nintendo-published Tetris titles and that makes all the difference.

#8 - Resistance: Fall of Man

Ratchet and Clank developers Insomniac tried their hand at an FPS this year and for the most part, hit the jackpot. They created lore and a world engaging enough to explore and sprinkled in just enough Ratchet and Clank gun chaos to make the experience a unique one. Sure it has many of the issues you see with console launch games, but it lays the groundwork for both future Resistance games, and other hard-hitting shooters on PS3.

#7 - Gears of War

Last year's Resident Evil 4 turned out to be much more influential than I thought. Where RE4 established the over-the-shoulder camera as a viable 3rd person game mechanic, Gears of War has perfected it. Borrowing the fast-paced nature of the best FPSs, the over-the-top gore of a Mortal Kombat, and revolutionizing the cover-based shooter, Gears is a new franchise for a new generation. Sure, it's a bit repetitive at times and by the end, the chest-high-walls gimmick begins to feel flimsy, but like Resistance, this world is hungry for my action.

#6 - Marvel Ultimate Alliance

As the spiritual successor to the solid X-Men Legends games, Ultimate Alliance didn't have to be amazing to stick the landing. After being handed the keys to nearly the entire Marvel kingdom, Raven Software built an adventure that successfully translates the enormity of the Marvel universe, while still being an engaging Action-RPG. It even acts as a shortcut through the deep lore of the source material. I learned more about B-tier characters like Thor, Ghost Rider, Moon Knight, and Captain America than any other medium has been able to teach me thus far.

#5 - New Super Mario Bros.

Mario has been bouncing around 3D environments since '96's Super Mario 64. Outside of weird esoteric one-offs here and there, Mario hasn't had a proper major 2D adventure since Super Mario World. I don't count Yoshi's Island, that's a Yoshi game. New Super Mario Bros. is a glorious return to form. The simple idea of, let's make one of those old 2D Mario games, but with up-to-date graphics, seems like a no-brainer, and it turns out to be a winning formula.

#4 - Guitar Hero II

Better in every way, Guitar Hero II improves on its predecessor and proves the fad from last year is still in vogue. The only downside to Guitar Hero II is that it's a PS2 release. Moving the series into the new generation would have unlocked a lot of potential. Luckily Activision has announced it will be hitting Xbox 360 in the Spring, so maybe putting this game on the 2006 list might be a bit premature, but few other games have soaked up as much of my time this year as Guitar Hero II.

#3 - Okami

When a team takes an established formula (The Legend of Zelda) and attempts to make a stand-out game, they need to come up with something fresh and brilliant to garner respect and attention. With Okami, Clover Studio did just that. Like Shadow of the Colossus last year, Okami is squeezing every bit of power out of the PS2 that it can. Enough like a Zelda game to feel familiar, yet beautifully animated with stunning watercolors to make it stand out, Okami puts an exclamation point on a tried and true formula whose days might be numbered.

#2 - The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess

Ever since Space World 2000 Nintendo has been on the hook to give us a more mature and realistic Legend of Zelda game. Windwaker, arguably the best game in the series, had its detractors, so Twilight Princess had a lot to live up to. Full of polish, and style, this game is the perfection of the formula established by Ocarina of Time. Its dungeons are the best the series has seen and while the wolf transformation mechanic may seem lazy at first, it pays off in both gameplay and story. Twilight Princess is what we've wanted from the Zelda series for a long time and it definitely lives up to the hype.

#1 - Wii Sports

Swooping in out of nowhere, Wii Sports is not only the game of the year, it could go down as the most important game of the generation. With the launch of the Wii, Nintendo has reset the market on what it means to be a gamer. It's hands down the most accessible game ever released and is far more than a proof of concept for the Wii platform. Bowling and Tennis alone are worth the price of admission, even if that admission is the cost of a Wii. Nintendo has successfully predicted the market and given us what we didn't know we wanted: motion controls. As with any new tech and launch there's a layer of jank here, but it's worth it to experience the action that has gotten millions of gamers off the couch and swinging their Wii-motes.

Notable Omissions

The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion - There are a lot of things about Oblivion that make it not a game for me. It's a heavy RPG, with a fantasy setting. Everything about that turns me off.

Bully - I might have enjoyed Bully, but since I hate playing GTA games, I stayed away from it.

Final Fantasy XII - This series has never been on my radar as it is WAY too anime for my liking. It being a heavy RPG doesn't help my interest either.

That's it! Next time we dive into 2007.

Cheers

#wii sports #tob raider legend #okami #the legend of zelda twilight princess #guitar hero ii #new super mario bros #resistance fall of man #gears of wear #Marvel Ultimate Alliance #Tetris DS

[liugeaux]

Greatest Songs Ever - Part 23 (w/ Friends)

Here's part 23! Once I landed on the theme of this edition, I knew it was going to be a good time. The idea hit me when I realized a significant number of songs I had already chosen either had features or were duets. You guessed it, this list's theme is songs with more than one artist. It could be guest spots, features, duets, or collaborations. It just needs to have 2 or more credited artists. A simple theme, with big songs. Let's get started.

1984 "Easy Lover" - Phillip Bailey & Phil Collins

"Easy Lover" was destined to be on this list from the time it struck my ear about 20 years ago. I know the song is from '84 and I definitely remember hearing it in the 80s and 90s, but it wasn't until the 2000s that it really dug its heels into me. Equal parts 80s synth-pop, 70s area rock, and smooth R&B, "Easy Lover" takes the best of Phil Collins and merges it with Earth, Wind, and Fire Vocalist Phillip Bailey's pop-friendly voice. There's even a healthy serving of the Collins' signature drum sound. Likely taking a cue from MJ's "Beat It" this track's crescendo is a sleek guitar solo that almost feels out of place in what should probably be an R&B song. There's not a time where I hear "Easy Lover" and don't want to turn it up.

2019 "Blow" - Ed Sheeran w/Bruno Mars & Chris Stapleton

"Blow" is a song by three artists whose day job is to sound nothing like this song. "Blow" is a serious rock track, with a hot guitar riff, and an edge to it that you wouldn't typically hear from Sheeran, Stapleton or Mars. With the song carrying a bit of a southern rock tone, Chris Stapleton is the closest equipped with the style needed to make this believable, but there's a swagger to "Blow" that is undeniably Bruno Mars. Ed just seems to be along for the ride here. It's got a confidence not found in most Sheeran songs. It's big and gaudy and screams for your attention. One thing I found while pulling the best collabs is that when artists work together they typically want to write a song that's splashy and big, "Blow" is the absolute best example of when that process goes right.

2010 "All I Do Is Win" - DJ Khaled featuring T-Pain, Ludacris, Rick Ross and Snoop Dogg

Seemingly written exclusively for sporting events, "All I Do is Win" has the perfect menagerie of featured artists. Both Luda and Snoop are probably on the Mount Rushmore of Featured Rappers. The song's college band feel to it also helps with its sporting event persona. The energy of the track must have been infectious because a remixed version of the song was released later in 2010 with Diddy, Nicki Minaj, Rick Ross, Busta Rhymes, Fabolous, Jadakiss, Fat Joe and Swizz Beatz. Everyone wanted to win.

2005 "Remember the Name" - Fort Minor featuring Styles of Beyond

Cut from the same cloth as that DJ Khaled song, "Remember the Name" was never a big radio hit, but it was HUGE in stadiums. Fort Minor was Mike Shinoda's rap-centered side project where he did a bunch of songs, mostly with features, and actually had decent success. His most frequent collaborator on the Fort Minor album was Styles of Beyond, and that's who's on this track. The real stars here though are the strings and the chorus. It's a hype track, that yet again fits the bill of two artists coming together to make the most attention-getting track they can assemble.

1995 "Scream" - Michael Jackson & Janet Jackson

I think I might be the only person that loves "Scream". It's futuristic, grimy and intentionally flys in the face of what you'd expect a Janet and Michael Jackson song to sound like. Towards the end, both Jackson's have a Jackson-off with hee-hees and woo-hoos poppin' off left and right. It's a hella weird track that only makes sense if you were there to see the evolution of both artists and this creative car-crash pays enormous dividends.

2011 "Somebody That I Used To Know" - Gotye featuring Kimbra

Gotye and Kimbra emerged from obscurity, dropped this track, and promptly disappeared into the ether. Gotye hasn't even released a follow-up album. It's an unconventional song, and an even more unconventional radio song. At 4:04 it runs a bit long for radio and not only does it have two verses before the chorus, the chorus doesn't kick in until the 1:33 mark. Hearing this on the radio is chaos. "Somebody That I Used to Know" is strongest towards the end when Kimbra steps in and reveals we will be hearing both sides of the story. Then the climactic duel vocal to close it out is uncharacteristically anthemic for a song that's basically a low-key indie Art-Pop sad-boi track. As I listen to it again for the 1000th time, it hits me that this song might be a masterpiece.

1981 "Under Pressure" - Queen & David Bowie

Ladies and Gentlemen, the most "low-hanging fruit" track on this list. I really don't have to justify its inclusion here, but for posterity, I'll throw down a few words. In true Queen fashion, "Under Pressure" feels like 3-4 songs and 2 additional Bowie songs smashed together. These types of songs aren't supposed to exist, you're not supposed to get both the fillet mignon AND the veal, but if you do it's probably at a buffet and they're both terrible. When artists of this caliber collaborate, egos are supposed to destroy the product. Queen and Bowie work so well together, it's a shame they didn't collaborate more.

1992 "Nuthin' but a 'G' Thang" - Dr. Dre featuring Snoop Dogg

In 1992 Dr. Dre was already a proven talent in the production booth but had yet to have his solo breakout. Snoop Dogg was an unknown rapper from Long Beach. "Nothin' but a 'G' Thang" was so good it helped establish the "West Coast" rap scene. Undeniable about being a 'G', this track ends up being 85% macho posturing and 15% danger but ultimately it works. This track was cool as hell and is still cool as hell. The early 1990s saw a huge shift from Rap being seen as a novelty performed over a sampled backing track to a full-fledged serious production, and Dr. Dre was the king of that hill.

2014 "Bang Bang" - Jessie J, Nikki Minaj & Ariana Grande

In the category of stunty, big-name, flashy, bow-chested collabs, "Bang Bang" is a powerhouse. Jessie J and Ariana Grande take turns trying to out-sing each other, and then Nicki Minaj swoops in to drop fire at the bridge. The song seems to celebrate womanhood and each performer tries her damndest to be a showstopper. Produced by Max Martin, "Bang Bang", has the "anything-goes" production style of the 2010s, and it stands out as a show tune with a soul. Like "Easy Lover", "Blow" and "Scream," "Bang Bang" leaves the nuance at home in favor of big, attention-grabbing, production. Some of the best collabs are just 2-3 creatives having a blast working together and this song feels like that.

1967 "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" - Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell

The closest thing on this list to a traditional "duet", "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" is a love song, that's a product of both its time and its record label. Do you remember that scene in That Thing You Do where Shades plays the titular song with an up-tempo, and it changes everything? "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" reads like a slow song written as a low-key single artist ballad. It wouldn't surprise me if it was tuned up to bring some cheer to the track. With Gaye and Terrell trading lines, the song is perfect for TV performances, weddings, or basically any kind of romantic celebration. For what it's worth, I'd put it on the Mount Rushmore of Motown songs. Then again, who am I to be saying such things?

Ok, that's on the books. See you next time.

Cheers

#Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell #Jessie J #Nikki Minaj & Ariana Grande #Dr. Dre featuring Snoop Dogg #Queen #David Bowie #Phil Collins #Phillip Bailey #ed sheeran #bruno mars #Chris Stapleton #Dj Khaled #Fort Minor #Gotye #michael jackson #janet jackson

[liugeaux]

The Best Games of 2005 | Is This Art?

Here is my second best-of list. For further explanation check out the 2004 list I posted a few weeks ago. 2005 was the first year I can remember where the question "Are Video Games Art?" really started to mean something. It was also the first year of the Seventh Generation of consoles as the Xbox 360 hit stores in November. Remember, this is written as if it were published at the end of 2005. There will be no cutesy future predicting and all comments should be taken at face value. Let's get started.

#10 - Ultimate Spider-man

Saying this is just Spider-Man 2 with a better art style is a bit reductive, but ultimately (pun intended) is kind of accurate. The swinging mechanic is still the core appeal of it, and that appeal is still super strong. It's flashy, consistent, and an easy lock for No. 10.

#9 - Mario Kart DS

It's technically not the first portable Mario Kart game, but it's definitely the first portable Mario Kart game that demands you take it seriously. Nintendo has successfully translated the look and feel of console games over to the DS. The icing on the cake here is the online play, At least until you discover players "snaking," but that's a conversation for a different day.

#8 - The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap

Technically released in the US in January, The Minish Cap barely made the cut-off for my list. Unlike Capcom's 2 previous portable Zelda efforts, The Minish Cap has seemingly endless charm. Link's talking hat, a compelling story, and a solid dungeon structure have The Minish Cap feeling a lot like A Link to the Past, one of the greatest games ever made.

#7 - Guitar Hero

We're all losers. We stand in our living rooms, clickity clackity-ing on fake plastic guitars trying to get 5 stars, while the world passes us by. I think I'm fine with that. Guitar Hero is as inventive as it is addictive. From the cheeky aesthetic to the 5-star soundtrack, this game sits in a category all by itself. It's easy to pick up and naturally walks you through learning and ramping up your skills. I don't know if I had more fun with a game this year.

#6 - Call of Duty 2

At this point WWII games are passé. We've already met our quota for WWII games this decade, but as the only Xbox 360 game on this list, Call of Duty 2 proves there is still plenty of blood left in that stone. Forgoing reality and leaning on survival elements that make for exciting gameplay, the game makes you feel like you're on the frontlines fighting for your life. It's beautiful and really shows what this new console generation is capable of.

#5 - Psychonauts

One of the main "Games are Art" titles of this year is Psychonauts. A genuinely funny take on mental health and psychiatry, it finds a way to poke fun, but while subtly raising awareness of important Psychiatric concepts. Psychonauts plays with your emotions as it has your heart laughing. Memorable characters, unique platforming and some of the best writing any game has ever had, makes this one easy to recommend. Like movie directors, Tim Schafer has proven he's one of the field's first auteurs.

#4 - Resident Evil 4

Who knew that all the Resident Evil series needed to get my attention was a perspective change? REs 1-3 all suffered from being too frustrating to control for me to have any fun with. The novel over-the-shoulder 3rd person controls puts the player in a position similar to first-person, but with the mobility and awareness of a 3rd person game. Resident Evil 4 is a frightening romp through inspired new ground all while improving the survival horror genre in meaningful ways.

#3 - Lumines

Yeah, I've got a puzzle game at number 3, fight me! Not since Tetris has a puzzle game grabbed me as firmly as Lumines did this year. Could it be the sleek and futuristic presentation? Maybe. Could it be that Lumines is the perfect game for Sony's new curious little handheld? Probably. Have I spent countless hours deep in high-score chasing? Absolutely! Lumines might be lighting in a bottle, but that lightning burned super hot this year.

#2 - God of War

Nothing is more aggro than being forced to wear the ashes of your dead family on your skin. Kratos is justifiably angry and being able to take his anger and tear through a pantheon of Gods is quite cathartic. It helps that God of War's gameplay is fluid, frantic and addictive. It takes tropes from previous generations of beat-em-ups and layers brand-new ways to combo up and destroy. It's also another entry in the "Is this art" sweepstakes. The cinematic nature of the entire experience rivals much of the drivel coming out of Hollywood, and being a game makes it even more engaging.

#1 - Shadow of the Colossus

Truly an unparalleled experience, Shadow of the Colossus is a masterpiece that shines by engineering vivid emotions through the art of digital animation. Each Colossus is a world unto itself and even though you, as the protagonist, are tasked with slaying each beast, the pain and helplessness of imminent death expressed from them as they fall will etch itself in your bones. Shadow successfully takes the technical limitations of the PS2 and bends a low frame rate and limited draw distance, into a part of the expression of the art. It's not a perfect game, but it's a step in an unprecedented direction for the art form as a whole.

Notable Omissions:

Sid Meier's Civilization IV - Civ 4 is a fine game and is definitely a major improvement over Civ 3, but my patience for strategy games in this style is thin.

Battlefield 2 - I didn't play it. I'm not even sure if there's a competent way to play it with a controller and I'm definitely not gonna try it with a mouse and keyboard.

Forza Motorsport - With very few exceptions, I'm not a racing game guy, and racing sims are completely off my radar.

Next time we move to 2006, the launch year of both the Wii and PS3. See you there!

Cheers.

#shadow of the colossus #god of war #lumines #mario kart ds #psychonauts #guitar hero #resident evil 4 #call of duty 2 #ultimate spiderman #the legend of zelda the minish cap

[liugeaux]

110k - It Snuck Up On Me

Another achievement achievement! As the title suggests, this one snuck up on me. I've just been plugging away at the games I play and I found myself in the 109500 range. Imagine if I hadn't seen it and just blew right through. Man, I really dodged a bullet on there, lol. If any of this is confusing, here are my previous posts meticulously outlining exactly what's going on here.

Segment 5 | Segment 6 | Segment 7 | Segment 8 | Segment 9 | Segment 10

I'll spare any readers the breakdown of what the chart below is saying. If you're curious about the specifics, check out the links above. Let's get to the nitty gritty.

I only recall playing one SUPER easy 1000-point game, 2007's TMNT. I was playing it for Shellheads, my Ninja Turtles Podcast, and noticed I could knock out all 1000 pretty quickly, so of course I did.

Otherwise, the other 9000 were obtained rather normally, almost too normally. My achievement hunting days might be behind me. Where in the past I would put 5-10 extra hours into a game trying to wring as many points out of it, now I find it hard to stick with a title past the credits. For our purposes here, that TMNT game and my slacking up probably balanced each other out. Performance-wise, Seg. 11 was my third worst overall but was only 1.3 PPD off of my career average and in line with what has come to be a normal 10k point segment. I don't have too much else to say about this milestone, I'm just glad to be here.

I had previously predicted I would reach 110k on 2/1/24. I missed that by about 42 days, but that prediction was based on a bloated 18.70 PPD caused by an erratic Seg. 10. As my performance comes back down to earth, my current career PPD is 18.57, but I don't see myself hitting that number. So, despite my calculations predicting early Sept '25 for the next 10k, I'll add an asterisk and say it will more than likely be Oct or Nov.

I guess I'll continue taking these stupid pictures. At this point I've been doing it for 15 years, none of my kids are even that old.

#xbox #xbox 360 #xbox one #xbox series x #xbox achievements #xbox live #tmnt

[liugeaux]

The Best Games of 2004 | 20 Years Gone

A long time ago, in the late 00s, I REALLY wanted to be a Video Games Journalist. I was writing and podcasting for local tech website Techpedition and we even worked our way to E3 2009. I was able to parley my mask of legitimacy into getting a couple dozen free games from publishers, but was never able to break into the "business".

It's fine, I've still paid super close attention to the industry and have a handful of podcasts that I follow. One thing that I missed out on was creating the end-of-year best-of lists that have become so popular with pundits of video games. Partially because I didn't have a big enough outlet for it to matter, but more so because I didn't have the resources to play all the relevant games within their release years to render a judgment.

I typically get around to playing all the games I'm interested in, but it usually takes me about 2-5 years. It's partially a time thing but mostly a budget thing. So, what this is, is the beginning of my trip through the last 20 years of video games. I'll be creating a top 10 list for the last 15 years and going forward, I'll post a new list every year of the top 10 from 5 years ago. That is assuming I keep up with it, lol.

These will be written as if they were published the year of the list, so there will be no references to future games or better sequels, etc. Let's get started. Travel with me back to the year 2004 which, news flash, is now 20 years ago.

#10 - Metroid: Zero Mission

Not only is Zero Mission a solid remake of the classic original Metroid, but it succeeds at both making it feel modern and ultimately super-playable, which isn't something you can say about the old NES game.

#9 - Prince of Persia: The Warrior Within

Much more agro than its predecessor, The Warrior Within builds on the foundation of the standout Sands of Time and smooths out a lot of the jagged edges, specifically in the combat department. Your mileage will likely be tied to how much you like Godsmack-itude, but POP2 is a great sequel.

#8 - Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door

Paper Mario was a weird novelty and shadow follow-up to Super Mario RPG, but despite its clear creative direction, it was missing the character needed to fully succeed in the RPG space. The Thousand-Year Door has character in spades, and it will charm your staples off.

#7 - Sly 2: Band of Thieves

Making Sly Cooper into an open-world heist game took what was a decent platformer to the next level. Where the first game was a solid third place behind Ratchet and Clank and Jak and Daxter, Sly 2 makes the argument that it's a top-tier Sony series. Each mission matters and each of its characters is special.

#6 - Pikmin 2

Better than its predecessor in every way, Pikmin 2 shows the first game's primary game loop wasn't a fluke. The addition of Louie, as a second playable character who's played simultaneously with Olimar, adds a heightened level of stress, making each recovery mission a manic exercise in task prioritization.

#5 - Halo 2

Is Halo 2 as impactful as Halo: Combat Evolved? Not really. The story isn't stellar, and the surprise Arbitor missions are little more than a pallet swap, but dropping the proven Halo action onto the Xbox Live service is game and industry-changing. I'm not a multiplayer guy, but I enjoyed the single player and I recognize how important Halo 2's success is to gaming as a whole.

#4 - Mario vs Donkey Kong

Donkey Kong '94, on the Game Boy, is secretly one of the best games of 1994. Mario vs. Donkey is Nintendo fleshing out that idea and making an addictive puzzle platformer. It starts out simple and sweet and ends hard and satisfying. Had this been the direction the Donkey Kong franchise went rather than Rare's DK Country series, SNES games may have had a very different trajectory.

#3 - Spider-Man 2

Licensed games always suck. Movie tie-in games always suck. Spider-Man 2 is an anomaly on top of an anomaly and it's 100% powered by the Swinging mechanic Treyarch built for the web-crawler. It feels SO good to swing around NYC that it's hard to believe Spider-Man as a character wasn't created specifically for video games.

#2 - Ratchet & Clank: Up Your Arsenal

R&C3 is undoubtedly a great game, I'd even say damn near perfect, but its placement this high on the list may seem a bit weird. That's where my opinion comes in. I'm a huge 3D platformer fan, it's probably my favorite genre. With that factored in with the depth and polish of this shiny new Ratchet game, #2 on the list doesn't seem so outlandish.

#1 - Half-Life 2

There's always talk of "importance" when it comes to works of art. Abbey Road is important, Michelangelo's David is important, and even A Clockwork Orange is important. Video Games, a medium that's still technically in its infancy, has only a handful of important titles. I'd say Half-Life 2 fits the bill. It's use of physics as a gaming mechanic is as technically impressive as it is clever. It's an FPS but it's not "just an FPS" and the mood and tone established throughout are as compelling as that of Blade Runner. Half-Life 2 is a stunner that will be studied for years.

Notable Omissions:

Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas - I've never liked GTA games. I respect their scope and ambition, but when it comes to playing them as games, GTA titles just stink.

Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater - I've never gotten into the Metal Gear games and the more people yell at me to play them, the less I want to.

The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap - This one technically came out in North America in 2005. So, with me being from the US, It will hit next year's list.

Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II - The Sith Lords - I might end up playing this one eventually, but as of 2024 I have not.

What are your favorite video games from 2004?

See you next time. Cheers!

#Half Life #Half-Life 2 #Sly Cooper #Ratchet and Clank #Mario vs donkey kong #spider-man 2 #halo #paper mario #The Thousand Year Door #Prince of Persia Warrior Within #Metroid Zero Mission

[liugeaux]

About that TMNT Re-Boot ...

Over the past couple of months, IDW has announced a variety of new TMNT comics coming to shelves this year. Here's a quick and dirty breakdown of the ones I want to talk about.

TMNT The Flag-Ship book Soft-Reboot - Ongoing by Jason Aaron

TMNT: Nightwatcher - Ongoing by Juni Ba

TMNT: Mutant Nation - Ongoing by Tom Waltz and Sophie Campbell

Other stuff was announced, but I really want to focus on the in-canon stories. The IDW line has been chugging along since 2011 and it contains some of the best portrayals of many TMNT characters and possibly the strongest Turtles story ever. When Jason Aaron's reboot was announced as a soft reboot incorporated into the existing story, it was both exciting and troubling.

He's a big name (or so I'm told), so giving him an already-established world in which to play, doesn't seem ideal. For example, he's continuing a story with a dead Splinter and a post-good guy Shredder redemption arc. Krang is dead, Chrell is dead, Rat King is 'dead', Bishop is dead, and most of the TMNT rogues gallery is not in a soft-reboot-friendly place.

Of course, the world of comics always finds a way to resurrect or retcon characters when needed, but is Jason Aaron willing to jump through the hoops needed to make an unlikely character return digestible, or will we get a "somehow Palpatine returned" situation? I love the IDW continuity and I'm excited it persists; I just hope the creative team properly respects the tales that came before it.

IDW's tactic here feels like a grand "let's meet in the middle" compromise. I don't know the numbers, but the way I understand it, IDW was happy with the sales performance of the Sophie Campbell Mutant Town/Reborn Era stuff. That's evidenced by them immediately signing her up as a writer on Mutant Nation. Many older fans either didn't like her run or felt alienated by it. Despite issues 101-150 being polarizing, apparently, someone has been buying them.

It looks like IDW sees this new 3-Ongoings setup as a way to keep the success of the current run by shifting those readers over to Mutant Nation and pitching Jason Aaron's reboot as a way to ensnare new and older readers. This has the potential to be a real 'have your cake and eat it too' situation.

The only wild card I see here is the Nightwatcher book and depending on who the Nightwatcher is, it could serve very different purposes. IDW is publically keeping the identity of the vigilante Turtle (whose non-canonical origin was 2007's TMNT film) a secret. Fans have 2 prevailing theories, Nightwatcher is Jennika the '5th Turtle' mutated in the books of the original IDW ongoing book, and Nightwatcher is Future Raph a mysterious Raphael who debuted in the 2023 Annual.

Of course, we must mention that it could be any of the four original turtles, but they'll likely be too busy in Aaron's reboot to pull double duty. Vigilantism doesn't seem to be Venus' vibe, but she is a turtle, so she can't be disqualified. Then there is always a chance that Nightwatcher is a Slash clone or a simplified Metalhead, but both are heavy long shots at best.

From Jason Aaron's mouth, we know IDW has 'big plans' for Jennika, and she will not be part of the core team in the reboot. That leaves 3 options I see for Jenni's character:

She gets de-mutated. - Previews for issue 149 suggest that through QNA and Armagon, de-mutation is possible in the IDW universe. (I'd say this outcome is unlikely because of the energy they've put into cultivating her as the '5th turtle'. After spending 5 years building Jenni's audience, it doesn't make sense to turn her human again.)

She is the Nightwatcher - We've already seen her take the role of a peace officer in Mutant Town, so her throwing on a suit of armor and becoming BatTurtle isn't too far-fetched. (With Jenni being the lead in the Nightwatcher book, she would bring her own audience and backstory to an otherwise mostly blank slate of a character. It's not a bad call.)

She is the lead character in Mutant Nation - We know Jenni can lead a book, and we know Campbell and Waltz are comfortable writing for her. (The various creative teams could tell countless stories of Jennika fighting for mutant-kind in-universe and never have her interact with the Core-4, outside of carefully timed event series.)

As cool as Future Raph would be as the Nightwatcher, they would need to do a lot to earn whatever story they tell. Basing a brand new ongoing on a mostly unexplained character seems riskier than most of IDW's typical tactics. If Future Raph does end up being the Nightwatcher that leaves options 1 and 3 on the table for Jenni's character. One point in favor of him being the Nightwatcher is that he was recently introduced and his story was left WIDE-OPEN. Obviously, the writers want to do something with him.

I'm about 50/50 right now on who I think the Nightwatcher is between Jennika and Future Raph. Assuming the character stays in NYC, I guess it just depends on which of the two Jason Aaron wants his rebooted TMNT to interact with the most.

As for Mutant Nation, there is a laundry list of characters that could lead the book. Everyone from Alopex to Leatherhead to Bebop and Rocksteady to Venus. My money is on a Mutanimal-like team of freedom fighters. This means Sally, Hob, Mondo, Herman, Ray and others from that team will likely play a big part in the story. With Campbell involved, the various townsfolk of Mutant Town will definitely show up, but the bigger question comes from the de-mutation reveal in the preview for issue 149.

With a huge population of mutants not wanting to be mutants and there being a way to become human again, does this become a central plot point of Mutant Nation? What will become of Lita (Pictured Above)? She was supposed to become a Timestress with Renet. Does her de-mutation change that? Is it permanent? So many unanswered questions and so much still to announce.

It has been a long time since the future of TMNT comics was this exciting and as the kids say, 'I'm here for it'.

#tmnt #tmntidw #teenagemutantninjaturtles #teenage mutant ninja turtles comics #tmnt comics #idw comics #tmnt40th #tmnt mutantnation #tmnt nightwatcher

[liugeaux]

Fantastic 3.5

My thoughts on the Fantastic 4 casting announcement.

* Ebon Moss-Bachrach as Ben Grimm 10/10 - Great Choice! Honestly, he could have played Grimm, Doom or Richards. Cousin has range.

* Joseph Quinn as Johnny Storm 7/10 - I liked him in Stranger Things and the energy of Eddie should line up well with that of Johnny. This should go over well.

* Vanessa Kirby as Sue Storm 9/10 - Finally a Sue Storm we can take seriously! Of this cast, Kirby probably has the most experience performing in high-action sequences, and her resume proves she's not just a pretty face.

* Pedro Pascal as Reed Richards 3/10 - Before you jump down my throat, I do like Pedro, but I've never been impressed with his acting outside of GOT. I feel like Hollywood is giving him a pass because he's handsome and likable. He wasn't good in The Last of Us, or WW 1984, and he's 100% forgettable in The Mandalorian. When I see his face, I don't think super-genius, I think, "That dude has some funny SNL sketches." I know he's kind of the king of the nerds right now, but I don't see where he's really earned it. He's just the center of a VENN diagram whose circles are - Handsome, Unproblematic, and Vaguely Non-White. Talent doesn't seem to be a factor, and I guess that's fine.

That's not me saying an actor has to be white and/or problematic to be talented. It's just Pedro, his background, and persona thread such a specific needle, that his name naturally floats to the top of every casting list. Since he's handsome and seemingly a good dude, being a "good enough" actor is really all he's got to do.

Congrats on the casting Mando, stack that green while you can..

#fantastic 4 #pedro pascal #mcu #casting

[liugeaux]

Greatest Songs Ever - Part 22 (Crowd Pleasers)

These things always swing back and forth. Last time, I talked about a bunch of rather weird tracks, yet this time it's mostly popular stuff with a wide appeal. That's less a commentary on the songs themselves and more an observation of my selection patterns. Whatever, that's not the point here. Let's just get started.

2014 "Style" - Taylor Swift

I've wanted to include a Swift song or two for a while now but didn't know if I wanted it/them to be part of a special themed list or what. I finally caved and just let one of her best songs out of its cage. Taylor Swift's two biggest talents are writing songs that elicit hyper-specific emotions that capture ethereal feelings for tangible use and a whip-smart sense for a primal-like melody crafting. Sometimes these two talents are at odds with each other and sometimes her collaborators get in her way creatively. Her best songs (which there are many) are perfect mixtures of those two ingredients. "Style" captures the feeling of being swept away by the coolest person you know, and sets a mood so thick you can cut with a knife. The bass churn and subtle production let the lyrics do the heavy lifting, and with them, Swift paints a tapestry that can be appreciated by Americans of any age. Other Taylor songs will likely make this list, but "Style" is her at the peak of her powers.

Note: Since the "Taylor's Versions" of her tracks were made with a concerted effort to not stray from the sound of the originals, I'm not specifying which version is being highlighted here. They're functionally the same. However, it is fascinating to hear how much richer the tone of her voice has gotten since the original recording.

2002 “Dancing In the Moonlight (2001 Remix)” - Toploader

Unlike the previous song, I am very much specifying which recording is on display here. "Dancing in the Moonlight" is a cover of a Boffalongo/King Harvest song from 1970. The original versions by Sherman Kelly's bands are good, they just don't pop like the Toploader cover. Not even the original Toploader cover pops like the odd "2001 Remix" included on the A Walk to Remember Soundtrack. That's the one I'm talking about. I'm not going to bore you with the nuances that make this the best version, just know there's a swagger to it the others don't have. Maybe not the traditional definition of swagger, more like the version of swagger you'd find in the best episodes of Gilmore Girls. Years after falling in love with the song I learned of the story behind it, and now if I hear it while drinking I can't help but cry a little. The energy it drips is similar to that of the latter half of Dave Matthew's "Typical Situation". A nameless celebration of life, where no one is a stranger and where nothing matters outside of the happiness of that moment. It's a beautiful sentiment that is rarely experienced in real life.

1997 "Superman" - Goldfinger

I'm not a huge fan of ska, but I do love a perfectly selected needle drop. "Superman" might as well be "That Tony Hawk Song". Here's an excerpt from Wikipedia on how important this song was to Tony Hawk's Pro Skater "The song has become so strongly associated with the video game that it forms a core part of the recognizability of the series, with the 2020 documentary about the games, Pretending I'm a Superman: The Tony Hawk Video Game Story, being named after the song." It's less a ska song and more just the sound of late 90s skate culture. It's fun, in-offensive, and somehow both of-a-specific-time and timeless all at once. In a hundred years, when historians teach ska, I hope "Superman" is a core part of the curriculum.

1982 "Let it Whip" - Dazz Band

1982 seems like an odd year to release a disco song, so I guess it makes sense that it's technically categorized as "Electro-Funk". But who are they kidding? "Let It Whip" is a disco dance track with a funky beat. As a Motown release, it is tied to the monumental legacy of the most prestigious black-founded music label in American history. I'm sure there's a lot to mine in that department, and I should probably learn more about the label, but for now I'm here to celebrate a track that gets me moving like few tracks do. I'm not a dance guy, but "Let It Whip" gets me second-guessing my life-long aversion to shaking my ass.

1981 "Burnin' For You" - Blue Oyster Cult

I know the choice here should probably be "Don't Fear the Reaper", but I've always liked the chorus breakdown on "Burnin' For You." Everything from the drum fill at "Burn out the day..." through the guitar flourishes at the end of "...what's wrong or what's right..." to the effortless fingerwork following "...I'm burning for you". Another great needle-drop song, "Burning for You" sets a vivid mood when it's used in film. Lacking the grandeur of many of its contemporaries, like Journey, Styx, or Foreigner songs, "Burning for You" may not stop a room in its tracks; but it is more than capable of being the bright silver lining on an otherwise bland playlist or soundtrack.

1970 "A Good Year for the Roses" - George Jones

Oh look, a sad country song. I was not familiar with this track until Butch Walker covered it in 2005. The writing is tight and the melody is steady. It's everything you'd expect out of the genre in 1970. What's most fascinating to me is how even through the emotion of the lyrics and Jones' tender performance, the invisible hand of Nashville can be felt in everything from the orchestral arrangement to the twinkling of the piano. I have a feeling George Jones was probably the least talented person to work on that recording. The precision of Nashville production is a feature, not a bug, which leaves the song ripe for dynamic, emotional covers, aimed at harvesting sentiment buried deep within the buttoned-up original song. There's a metaphor in there somewhere. I just can't nail it down. The clinical delivery of emotional country songs by male crooners socially not allowed to show actual emotion is one thing, but a later generation successfully unpacking the baggage of their forefathers via cover songs is deep and soul-stirring. I don't know if that counts as a metaphor or even a complete sentence, but there's a hidden depth to "A Good Year for the Roses" and the obfuscation is what matters most.

1990 “Can I Kick It?” - A Tribe Called Quest

Another perfect needle drop song. Honestly, I had completely forgotten about this classic Tribe song until it was used in the new Ninja Turtles movie trailer. For me, early hip-hop was very hit or miss. Much of it seemed unintentionally tongue and cheek and while the pieces were clearly there for a revolution, it wasn't until the 90s that I feel it really found itself as a genre and A Tribe Called Quest was at the for-front of hip-hop's maturity. The song has a catchy sample from a Lou Reed song, and if you listen closely you can hear the imperfection of the analog turntables during transitions between measures. Those imperfections only help the song feel lived in and serve a signature from hip hop's roots. Saying Tribe was trying to tap into a culture that was bubbling underneath mainstream hip-hop is an understatement. "Can I Kick It?" is a vivid snapshot of an artform understanding its place in the world. Rap had always been a black form of expression that from the outside was viewed as a sideshow, a gimmick, a lower form of art. Tracks like this were produced without the spectacle or need of outsiders' validation. Its music for the culture, from those living within it. It didn't matter if white people liked it or even understood it. Despite that, the laidback rhythm and carefree Sunday-afternoon-feel of the song, leaves it with a timeless wide appeal that further helped hip-hop take over the world.

1973 “Bad, Bad, Leroy Brown” - Jim Croce

Did you know Jim Croce died in a plane crash at the age of 30? That said, I don't understand how every picture of him looks like a middle-aged Frank Zappa. "Bad, Bad, Leroy Brown" has small-town honky-tonk vibes and at just over 3 minutes, it's a waif of a song that disappears right as you get used to it being there. I wonder if, in concert, Croce would extend it with chatty break downs, and audience participation. The video evidence I've found doesn't indicate that was a thing. Then again, he died the same year "Leroy" was released. Who knows, had he lived and continued to perform it for decades, I imagine Croce would have embellished his hit to get the most out of it he could. The genre on this one is listed as "Boogie Woogie" and I can't help but smile at that.

2019 "Circles" - Post Malone

Posty has quietly become one of the most beloved artists of this generation and "Circles" was arguably the peak of both his popularity and talent. At this point in his career, he had drifted pretty far from the thuggish rapper persona that got him through the door and it was becoming obvious he's a multi-talented singer songwriter who, creatively, can do anything he wants. "Circles" is a pop song with heart, a thumping bassline and an infectious hook. Lyrically, it speaks to relatable relationship struggles, and successfully captures a universal appeal while still being unquestionably cool.

1976 "Hotel California" - Eagles

"Hotel California" is the laziest choice I've selected in a while, but sometimes the lazy choice is the right one. I really like the Eagles, and I wanted to include something from their library, but I simply couldn't justify name-dropping "Life in the Fast Lane" or "One of Those Nights" BEFORE I talked about their seminal hit. This song has it all, a solid classic rock hook, a haunting country music-style story, a jaunty island beat, and one of the most important guitar solos of its generation. I can't NOT include "Hotel California" on the Greatest Songs Ever list. Here's a piece of trivia for us millennials and younger who weren't around for the Eagles hay-day. The Eagles Greatest Hits, released in 1976 was the first ever album certified platinum and was the world's best selling album for a long time. As huge as it was, it didn't even have "Hotel California" on it. That song and album weren't released until December of that same year. Combined, Eagles Greatest Hits and the album Hotel California have sold 73 million copies, not including streaming totals.

Well that one's in the books and as much as I like those songs, I'm really excited for the next list. It's got a cool theme, with some top shelf tracks on it. See you next time!

Cheers

Note: Here is the Youtube playlist with the ongoing list. A Spotify list is coming.

#taylor swift #toploader #goldfinger #dazz band #blue oyster cult #george jones #a tribe called quest #jim croce #post malone #eagles

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The 25 Best Songs I Heard This Year - 2023

Here we are again, another year, another 25 songs. There are entirely too many country artists on here, that was NOT intentional. Anyway, here are the best 25 songs I heard this year. As always, this IS an ordered list with #1 being the best. (Spotify playlist in the comments)

Enjoy!

"Heaven, Iowa" - Fall Out Boy

"OVER YOUR DEAD BODY" - Hot Milk

"Drunk (And I Don't Wanna Go Home)" - Elle King and Miranda Lambert

"FUNERAL GREY" - Waterparks

"Are You Really Okay?" - Sleep Token

"get him back!" - Olivia Rodrigo

"Drones" - grandson

"What Was I Made For?" - Billie Eilish

"Pineapple Sunrise" - Beach Weather

"Don't Get Me Wrong" - Matchbox Twenty

“GODDESS” - PVRIS

"Crawlspace" - White Reaper

"Lowest In Me" - Staind

"Blame Brett" - The Beaches

"Say Don't Go" - Taylor Swift

"The Better Me" - Beartooth and HARDY

“Mountains At Midnight” - Royal Blood

“Life Goes On” - Ed Sheeran

"Again" - Emarosa

"Say It (To My Face)" - Meet Me @ The Altar

"Talk Sick" - Corey Taylor

"New Religion (feat. Teddy Swims)" - All Time Low

“My Old School Metal Heart” - Marvelous 3

"When We Were Young" - Blink 182

"Spaghetti Tattoo" - Plain White T's

#plain white t's #blink 182 #marvelous 3 #all time low #corey taylor #meet me @ the altar #emarosa #ed sheeran #royal blood #beartooth #hardy #taylor swift #the beaches #staind #white reaper #pvris #matchbox twenty #beach weather #grandson #billie eilish #olivia rodrigo #waterparks #sleep token #elle king #miranda lambert #hot milk #fall out boy #Spotify

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Greatest Songs Ever - Part 21 (Off the Rails)

Never has one of these been as off-the-rails as this one seems. I promise it’s not on purpose. With Part 20 being much more close to home, naturally, part 21 veers the opposite direction. 

Some of these you might not know, and I encourage you to check them out. here’s your link to the ongoing playlist. Let’s do this!

2011 “Lock Down (feat. Leo the Lion)” -  Adam Skinner & Dan Skinner

We kick it off with the bop of the century. Maybe that’s an overstatement, but “Lock Down” crept into my life through the Giant Bombcast. The duders over there stumbled on this track in AudioNetwork, a royalty-free subscription music service. They played it during live stream downtime and their community ate it up. It became somewhat of an inside joke, while simultaneously being a banger. It’s categorized as “new-soul,” but its got a funk and a groove to it that gets your feet moving. I know nothing about Adam or Dan Skinner, and even less about Leo the Lion, but accidentally stumbling on such a fun track is kind of what this list is all about.  

1983 “Sharp Dressed Man” - ZZ Top

ZZ Top is a mood. I always feel like ZZ Top songs only have words to make them more marketable. If they could get away with a career full of songs like “Tequila” by The Champs, then they would’ve probably done that. Alas Billy Gibbons had to use his singing voice to entice the masses. With a sound like sandpaper on bone, Gibbons gravelly delivery is the perfect compliment to the almost sludgy guitar riffs on “Sharp Dressed Man.” Given how grimey and raw everything about this song is, the title feels like tongue and cheek irony. It’s a song whose guitar lick is so good it doubles as a chorus. A chorus that slices you in half everytime it churns back to the speakers. I like a lot of tracks in the ZZ Top library, but “Sharp Dressed Man” has a swagger that’s universal.  

2009 “TiK ToK” - Kesha

When my grand kids ask me what the late aughts sounded like, my answer will be “Tik Tok” by Kesha. This song is 100% a product of the pop music culture surrounding it. While Kesha’s talents as a songwriter eclipse this track exponentially, “Tik Tok” captured an energy and moment in music that cannot be recreated. Sanitized club beats, auto-tune, party-girl vibes, a hint of female empowerment and an odd Mick Jagger reference “Tik Tok” is hella weird. Even at the time I got a collective feeling from music fans, like we were looking at each other and saying “are we really doing this?” “Take On Me” is to the 80s what “Ice Ice Baby” is to the 90s, and “Tik Tok” is to the 00s. I’ve flirted with putting later Kesha songs on this list, but to do so before this seminal classic is an insult to an entire generation of music.   

1969 “My Way” - Frank Sinatra

Southerners don’t listen to Sinatra. Growing up I understood Frank Sinatra was a big deal and even had movies referred to me, but I couldn’t name a single one of his songs. My childhood wasn’t filled with Sinatra tracks, crooner numbers or Rat Pack hits, it was Elvis, The Beatles, Classic Rock and country. I purposely reached for “My Way” to see what the big deal was. I’d heard an American Idol contestant or two sing snippets of it, but I wanted to know why the song is so revered. Upon first listen, I thought it sounded much older than it actually is. I would have pegged this song as a track from the 40s. The sound quality of the backing symphony is reminiscent of much older Hollywood scores like The Wizard of Oz, so to learn that its newer than most of The Beatles’ library was shocking. As a celebration of individuality, it’s message isn’t too dissimilar from that of the US as an idea, and the lyrics’ acknowledgement of his “way” being imperfect is subtly beautiful. “My Way” is an anthem for the proud, and sadly I feel the rigidity of its message has been used to justify rejecting compromise. As one man’s celebration of himself and as a booming showtune, the song is outstanding.  

2021 “Sunroof” - Nicky Youre

Whenever I pick super-recent songs I know I’m rolling the dice on how time will effect this list. I have no idea who Nicky Youre is, but he knows how to capture the energy of youth. From the initial drop of “I got my head out the sunroof...” this song drips of innocence fueled youth. The freedom of your first car, having no worries and being consumed by the energy of a potential partner, it’s the magical spark of youth. Even the “La da, la da da, la la la“ part is laced with an envious carefree attitude. We are all longing for the feeling “Sunroof” is advertising, and that’s why it works so well. It’s like freebasing the idea of potential, “Sunroof” is a drug we should all be addicted to.  

2001 "Rhythm” - Awol One & Daddy Kev

For an oh-so-brief moment in community college, I brushed against being cool enough to know someone who knew this song. My bud Austin, a worldly brain of a person who, to my knowledge has never been bad at anything, at least not anything he put legit effort into, turned me onto this track. He played a lot of music for me back then and not much of it stuck, but “Rhythm” burrowed in like a tick. The stand-out on the track is the flute in the loop. I’m gonna do my best to avoid making a flute-loops joke, but I promise nothing. I don’t know anything about the production of the track but it strikes me as a song birthed from the tightness of the loop. Once that was established, I’m sure everything else fell into place. The rapping isn’t stellar, but it knows what it is, and stays out of the way. Awol One’s drawn out delivery feeds the stoner vibe the track carries, while never feeling scummy. Laid-back, groovy, and raw enough to feel like the underground gem that it is. “Rhythm” was never at risk of being a radio hit, but that’s kind of a badge of honor here. If one more person hears this song because of this write up, I will have done my job.

1993 “Chattahoochee” (Extended Mix) -  Alan Jackson

Look at that, yet another 90s country song gets added to the list! “Chattahoochee” is a country fan’s country song. It’s as story-telly as the fans demand, and Jackson’s delivery is exactly what you would expect from a pillar of the genre. However when you dig deeper, the lyrics are much more universal fro the casual listener. Like “Sunroof” there’s something inherently youthful about “Chattahoochee.” Youth, as a concept, is ripe for creative mining and Jackson chose a hyper specific venue for his slice-of-life story. Because the innocence of youth is so universal, even if you didn’t grow up on a river, you just get it. Your Chattahoochee river might be a drive-in movie theater, or a Sonic parking lot, or the pool tables at the local bowling alley. Calling a song shallow is only an insult if it doesn’t have a wide appeal. “Chattahoochee” is as shallow as that river probably is, and that just means everyone can relate. As for the (Extended Mix), it doesn’t add too much, but it does make the song feel more like an event. It’s got an extra breakdown or two that probably work well in a live setting. It’s just a better paced version of the same song.   

1970 “War Pigs” - Black Sabbath

When you Google “Who invented heavy metal” you get a passage about historians believing it was Black Sabbath. I like to think all metal songs share DNA with tracks like “War Pigs.” Loud, brash and with something to say, the track alternates between an Ozzy show-piece and a Tony Iommi guitar rocker. Its quiet moments are as important as its loud guitar solos, a practice almost lost to time I modern metal. “War Pigs” may not be as relevant today as it was in 1970 (I’d like to think humans have learned a lot from past wars), but it serves as a creative benchmark for commentary on socio-political statements in art. Let’s not forget about the slimy and iconic guitar work here, traces of thrash can be heard in the solos and that wouldn’t rise to prominence until the 80s. Sabbath is WAAAAAAAY more important than most realize and “War Pigs” is their masterpiece.  

2018 “Responsible Ver. 2″ (feat. Stan Taylor) - DUX

I really don’t know what to say about this one. DUX is a DJ, Stan Taylor is a vocalist, and “Responsible” is one of their collaborations. Due to their relative obscurity, they are oddly hard to Google. DUX seems Brazilian, and Taylor looks to be from Cali, but I don’t know if any of that matters. “Responsible” hovers between soul, techno, funk, and jazz, pretty cleanly. What initially stood out was the absolutely chewy bassline. The bass however, only gets you through the door, Taylor’s big soulful delivery hooks you, and the horn-filled bridge finishes the job. A beautiful melding of several reliable pillars of American music makes this into an unexpected modern classic buried in obscurity. “Responsible Ver. 2″ (definitely better than Ver. 1) would play well anywhere from a local pub to the biggest sporting event. If you check out any of these songs individually, please let this one be one of them.   

1969 “Haute Couture” aka “Temptation Sensation” -  Das Orchester Heinz Kiessling

There is so much to unpack with this choice. Yes, it’s the Always Sunny in Philadelphia theme, yes, that seems cheap, and no, I don’t care. I’ve always loved the simplicity of the theme and found its whimsy quite-heartwarming. Prior to last year, I had not heard the original track, or knew anything about it. This song is by a German composer named Heinz Kiessling, and its taken two different names in its release history, “Haute Couture” and “Temptation Sensation.” For what its worth, I prefer the latter. The song itself is an orchestral mushroom trip. Somehow, like “My Way” it was released as recently as 1969. Nothing sounds more like a 1942 instrumental as much as this track does. To put this in perspective, it was released a year before the almost modern sounding “War Pigs”. Was Germany so far behind America in sound production that “Temptation Sensation” just felt super old, or was that on purpose? Who knows. The internet doesn’t say anything about him being a Nazi, so there’s more good news. The song itself is so full of whimsy, and fluff, that its hard to hear without feeling like a burden has been lifted from your shoulders. As the theme from It’s always Sunny, it works stupendously because of the thematic dichotomy.

That was an exceptionally weird list of songs, but I promise next time will be a bit more mainstream. That is, unless my plans change, then, anything is on the table. *Insert excited emoji*    

#dux #heinz kiessling #black sabbath #alan jackson #giant bombcast #nicky youre #awol one #daddy kev #frank sinatra #kesha #zz top

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MLB Expansion: Why Am I Obsessed With It?

The World Series ended last week and the Rangers became the 25th MLB team to win the coveted championship. This leaves the Rockies, Brewers, Mariners, Padres, and Rays as the only teams without a "ring". (Fun fact: 1922 was the first year teams were awarded rings after winning the Series) This was just the 3rd time in MLB history that 2 expansion-era teams faced off for the title, with the other 2 being 2015 and 2019. Without a second thought this seems, at best, like a nifty little stat, but looking deeper, it's borderline amazing it took so long for two expansion teams to play each other in the Fall Classic.

First, let's define "Expansion" team. It's any team added to the league AFTER the first 16 teams. Here are those original teams.

Original 16 MLB Teams and the year they joined MLB

Chicago Cubs - 1876

Atlanta Braves - 1876

Pittsburgh Pirates - 1887

Philadelphia Phillies - 1883

San Francisco Giants - 1883

Cincinnati Reds - 1890

Los Angeles Dodgers - 1890

St. Louis Cardinals - 1892

Baltimore Orioles - 1901

Boston Red Sox - 1901

Chicago White Sox - 1901

Cleveland Guardians - 1901

Detroit Tigers - 1901

Minnesota Twins - 1901

Oakland Athletics - 1901

New York Yankees - 1903

Sure, some of these teams have moved and/or changed names a few times, but as official franchise lineage goes, these are the original Major League teams.

In a short 27 years, baseball exploded to 16 teams. Originally, they were clustered in the east, only stretching as far as St. Louis. Those teams, battled it out for 57 years before any others joined the fray. Most measurements will tell you, to this day, that these 16 teams are still the more popular of the franchises. It's hard to compete with the popularity of the Yankees, Dodgers, Giants, Braves, Cubs and Red Sox.

With the rise of commercial air travel, the success of the Braves' move to Milwaukee, and the ousting of the Dodgers and Giants to the West Coast, it was clear Baseball could handle teams in smaller markets all over the US. In 1961 MLB started growing by adding a second Los Angeles-based team, the Angels, and the Senators in Washington DC. The latter moved to Dallas in 1972 to become today's Rangers.

This kicked off a 37-year expansion that saw 14 teams added to the league. Teams popped up everywhere, from the southernmost tip of Florida to Canada to Seattle.

14 Expansion Era Teams and the year they joined MLB

Los Angeles Angels - 1961

Texas Rangers - 1961

Houston Astros - 1962

New York Mets - 1962

Kansas City Royals - 1969

Milwaukee Brewers - 1969

San Diego Padres - 1969

Washington Nationals - 1969

Seattle Mariners - 1977

Toronto Blue Jays - 1977

Colorado Rockies - 1993

Miami Marlins - 1993

Arizona Diamondbacks - 1998

Tampa Bay Rays - 1998

The league nearly doubled in size which, mathematically, made it harder to win a World Series. In 1969, the Mets were the first expansion team to win a title, but for the most part, the expansion teams were absent from the Series altogether. For most new teams, success did not come quickly. In fact, there have only been 14 expansion team champions since the start of the expansion era (1961). Here they are.

Expansion teams that have won a World Series

1969 - Mets 1985 - Royals 1986 - Mets 1992 - Blue Jays 1993 - Blue Jays 1997 - Marlins 2001 - Diamondbacks 2002 - Angels 2003 - Marlins 2015 - Royals 2017 - Astros 2019 - Nationals 2022 - Astros 2023 - Rangers

In 62 years of expansion, only 14 of those years have been won by new teams. If you spread the numbers out and do some math, during the expansion era (1961-2023), the original 16 teams together have had 976 eligible "campaigns" for a World Series, while expansion teams have only had 652 (that's counting each team per year they were in the league, minus the '94 strike year.) That's a 3/2 ratio for the expansion teams during the expansion era. Of course, since the new teams trickled in over the years, that stat is on a sliding scale, but I still feel like they should have had more success, faster.

For a better sample we'll need to look at all the Series played since 1998 (once all the teams were included.) That's 26 years of baseball with a 30-team level playing field. Theoretically, with true parity, 47% of the teams in the series should be expansion teams, and those teams should win 47% of the time. Let's see if that happened.

'98-'23 saw 20 expansion teams play in the World Series. That's 38%, about 9% away from true parity. That period also had 8 expansion World Series champs. That's 31%, even farther from parity. So the phenomenon that brought me to this journey, (2015 the first all-expansion team World Series) is starting to make a little more sense, but it still blows my mind that it took SO long.

I guess, given that most of the newer teams are from smaller markets with smaller fan bases and thus have a smaller cash flow, they can't afford to go out and buy who they need to fill the holes in their lineups like a bigger market can. A hard salary cap could really help in this dept. The bigger markets are also natural tiebreakers themselves. Would you rather make 20 million and play in Tampa, or make 20 million and play in LA?

If we only focus on recent memory, the last 10 years, the expansion teams have been done much better. 12 of the last 20 teams to make the World Series have been from the new batch, and they've won half of them.

More Fun Facts: The Mets and the Astros are tied for the position of most successful expansion franchises as they've both been to 5 Series and Won 2. The Marlins and the Blue Jays won both of the Series they played in, but have only made it to 2 each.

Here's where I dedicate a paragraph to the Phillies. They have been in the league since 1883 and have only won 2 championships. The only other original team to win just 2 World Series is the Guardians, but they joined the league 18 years after the Phillies. The Phils have been historically bad for a long time. If it hasn't been obvious that I'm a Braves fan, this should be the tipping point. :)

I don't think I'm trying to make a point here, maybe MLB should have a hard salary cap, or expansion teams should have found a way to be better, faster. I mean, how can you happily be a Padres, Brewers, or Mariners fan? 45+ years of failure has to create resentment towards the team and baseball as a sport. Hell, if the Braves go 2 years without winning their division, I get antsy.

Regardless of all of this, I'm just fascinated by MLB history. Seeing all these teams start trickling in through the later half of the 20th century, find their footing, and then win a World Series is like watching a child being born, grow, and become an adult. The circle of life.

#mlb #expansion team #mlb expansion #world series

[liugeaux]

2023 Fantasy Basketball Team Name and Logo - Take a Luka Round

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Renamed Fantasy Football Team - Stroud Pleasers

[liugeaux]

A Definitive Ranking Of Every Incarnation Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Seven years ago I was so butt-hurt by an Uproxx article that I wrote a response with my own TMNT incarnation ranking. Was I right to do it? Absolutely. Do I regret it? Not at all. I stand by that ranking and where the TMNT property was in 2017. Read it here.

What HAS happened though is multiple versions (incarnations) of our beloved turtles have been rolled out in the past 7 years and I think it's time to re-rank them. This will be similar to the reposts common in this blog, as it will have a lot of old content, but it will be a full-on refresher with a brand-new definitive ranking. Here we go!

17. Saban’s Ninja Turtles: The Next Mutation

The Next Mutation is the worst. While technically a hit TV show, TNM is a reimagining of the Turtles in a similar style to the hyper-popular Power Rangers of the time; and created by that same production house. It was too goofy, too Japanese, and pandered to a completely different audience. Any charm or goodwill the original show still had was flushed right down the drain after the launch of The Next Mutation; not to mention the introduction of the cringe-worthy Venus, the fifth Turtle. The Next Mutation is best forgotten, but sadly never will be. 

16. Japanese OVA - Mutant Turtles: Superman Legend

Not included in the original list because I didn't think it was a substantial enough incarnation to include, Superman Legend is a gem if you like weird 90s anime. If you don't, skip it. When I say skip it, I mean it. It doesn't feel like a Ninja Turtles story and while styled after the Fred Wolf TV show, it drips of cheesy anime tropes and is, at times, hard to watch. I include it here as almost a warning against possibly watching it.

15. Konami’s Video Games 

At the time, Konami’s video games seemed awesome. The arcade games and the classic NES games gave children exactly what they wanted, a way to control their favorite turtles and fight the foot. In actuality, the original arcade games were built as quarter-eating button mashers. There was little nuance to the games themselves and the home console releases were either bad (that first NES) or were trying to recreate a game on a platform for which it wasn't designed (TMNT II, Manhattan Project, Turtles in Time, etc.). If you wipe off the thick film of nostalgia, it's easy to see these games really aren’t that good.  

14. Platinum Dunes’ Movie (Series) 

The two Platinum Dunes movies have a style to them, and it's best we leave that style in the 2010s. Everything from the Incredible Hulk looking over-design of the characters, to the disasters of plots, there is very little to like about what Michael Bay’s production company did to our beloved Turtles. The films have some decent action and comedy, but a lot of the creative directions taken leave the heart of the Turtles unrecognizable. Out of the Shadows was better than the first film and did a good job capturing the feel of the original cartoon, but it still committed a lot of the same sins, despite being the "right kind of dumb".  

13. Fred Wolf’s Original 1987 Animated Show

It’s funny how the most popular of all the incarnations is also one of the worst. The original cartoon is a victim of its era. The animation is bad, the plots are silly and sometimes nonsensical, and many episodes are just thinly veiled advertisements for the mega-successful accompanying toy line. Still, there’s a charm to that old show that made it popular for a reason. Presented as the figurehead of late 80s cartoons that it is, it might be a masterpiece. Presented in a vacuum, apart from the craze, that old show can be unwatchable. This incarnation is another victim of nostalgia and is probably best experienced through t-shirts and merchandise, not through actual experience. 

12. Image’s Vol. 3 Comics

Die-hard Turtles fans love to point at Image’s short-lived run of comics after Mirage’s first hiatus as being “Amazing”. “Volume 3″ to which it is referred, was planned as a continuation of Mirage’s colorized Vol. 2. Sadly, it followed many of the tropes of late 90s comic books. It was more violent than its predecessors and even went as far as having two of the TMNT get deformed. Donny becomes a cyborg and Raph’s face gets disfigured. At the time it was a fresh take on the characters and seen as bold and unpredictable. Because of this, it should hold a legit chunk of respect, but in practicality, it wasn’t great. 

11. Batman Vs. TMNT Crossover Comics and Movie

This is, by far, the hardest incarnation to rank. It's not bad, and in most ways it's great. However, taking a generic version of the TMNT and planting them in a story beside The Dark Knight creates an un-winnable situation. Character development must be spread across two universes and cannot be too in-depth, because you can't stray too far from the core essence of either property. Fans love this version of the Turtles and I don't blame them. It boils the 4 brothers down to their core traits and, through solid writing, creates an entertaining romp that plays into both properties' tropes. Where the Batman/TMNT crossover succeeds in entertainment value, it completely fails in compelling story-telling.

10. Archie’s TMNT: Adventures Comics

More comics from the 90s! Archie’s TMNT Adventures was less an Archie production and more a shadow Mirage title that was created mostly in-house under the eyes of Eastman and Laird. Its origin as a spin-off of the TV show made for a unique niche. Many of the stories and characters resonate to this day and If I were listing my favorite TMNT comic artists, Chris Allen would be in my top three. One of the title’s strengths was the secondary characters. Verminator-X, Armaggon, Ninjara, the Mighty Mutanimals, and Cuddly the Cowlick, are all great additions to the greater mythology of the series and many of them have returned in other media. As much fun as these were to read 30 years ago, a distinct lack of character development in the TMNT, and a heavy handed environmental agenda being pushed make these hard to read today. Those Future Turtles are the bomb though…

9. TMNT: Mutant Mayhem

I have thought long and hard about where Seth Rogan's take on the TMNT belongs in the pantheon of turtle stories. From an entertainment standpoint, it's fantastic. The film is incredibly funny and breathes fresh energy into tried and true character archetypes. Does it represent the legacy of TMNT as a franchise? I don't know. We've been promised a lot more of this incarnation, so our questions will likely get answered as series staples like Shredder and The Foot get introduced, but as it stands, Mutant Meyham is a fantastic anomaly ripe for exploration.

8. New Line’s Original Movie Trilogy

America’s love for the original movie trilogy is justified. They captured a moment in American Pop Culture that was unique and somewhat bizarre. On the surface, a lot of the dialog can be cheesy and eye-roll-inducing, but that’s what the 90′s were. Looking back at them, the only one that holds up as a GREAT movie is the first one. The effort put into bringing the comics to life, while dabbling in the silliness of the cartoon, is visible. There’s more emotion in that first movie than most would care to admit. I’m not going to call it a masterpiece or anything, Actually, I am gonna call TMNT 1990 a masterpiece. The second two movies are what keep this incarnation from being higher on the list. The Secret of the Ooze is embarrassing and TMNT III is boring at best. The care that went into the first film just wasn’t there the second and third times around. 

7. “TMNT” Animated Movie

The Turtle’s franchise timeline can be divided into 3 phases; Phase 1: Eastman and Laird, Phase 2: Laird only, and Phase 3: Nickelodeon. The “TMNT” animated movie was released during Phase 2, and because of that, it has Peter Laird’s influence all over it. During his solo time with the Turtles, Laird had very specific ideas about what he wanted to do with the characters and what stories he wanted to be told. Not goofy, not over-the-top, not too dark, and maintaining the series’ comedic overtones, TMNT is a weird movie that feels like a release that fell out of another dimension. Despite its plot being the most non-TMNT-ish story ever told, there is still a handful of scenes that are quite wonderful. The epic fight scene between Leo and Raph at the close of Act 2 is worth the price of admission. TMNT is a beautiful film that has a charm unique unto itself and it’s really a shame a sequel was never made.   

6. Rise of the TMNT

I'm sure putting Rise in the #6 spot can be seen as a bold move, but I stand behind it completely. Rise is possibly the most controversial version of the Turtles to date. Odd, and unnecessary changes to the lore and characters turned a lot of fans off of the project before it even launched. Taking a more comedic and short-attention-spaned approach to TMNT storytelling alienated many viewers, which means Rise lives on its own little island. Fans of Rise, LOVE IT, with good reason. It's hilarious, irreverent, sharp and stunning. By taking enough influence from anime to make the show look great, but not enough to make the show look ridiculous, Rise succeeds at looking better than ALL of its predecessors. Narratively, it takes some time to get to the significant story beats, but considering most TMNT stories aren't interested in telling a long-form story, Rise's approach to slow-drip-plot, is masterful. The Rise movie is a fantastic exclamation point on a series the creators knew was already dead. I almost understand why someone wouldn't like Rise of the TMNT, but it's hard for me to think someone gave it a fair shake and still didn't see the brilliance of its bizarre take on the TMNT.

5. Nickelodeon’s 2012 Animated Show 

After the Viacom acquisition, the impending TMNT cartoon show was an uncomfortable unknown. How closely would it stick to the lore? Would it go off the rails and break the series? Would it be too kiddy for a classic fan to enjoy? All worries were washed away when the show debuted in the Fall of 2012. Featuring the most fully realized version of the 4 turtles to date, Nick’s show was a breath of fresh air. There’s a spark to its dialog and it’s obvious the creators were proud to be working on TMNT. It's hard not to chuckle at least once or twice during every episode and unlike most kid shows, it's easy to care about the over-arching story. The changes made to the base origin and characters can be confusing, but each one has been interesting in its own way. As my good buddy Jeff often says about, it's a beautiful melting pot of everything TMNT. If you haven’t checked it out yet, Nick’s TMNT reboot is more than worth a watch.  

4. IDW’s TMNT Comics

The first real content to come from the post-Nickelodeon buyout was the IDW-licensed comic line. Not only did they immediately start frantically reprinting the old Mirage books, but they also launched a new ongoing title set in its own TMNT continuity. Without a doubt, this run has been the most exciting thing to happen to TMNT comics since…let’s say Mirage’s Vol.1. By taking a brand new origin and mixing old characters with new characters, Eastman and Waltz have found a way to re-tell a lot of TMNT history without telling any of the exact same stories we already know. My only real complaint about the book is that its a little too obvious that Nickelodeon has placed certain story restrictions on them. I.E. The Turtles don’t ever kill anyone, and death as a whole is kept to a minimum. Consequently, the book sometimes lacks the teeth of the original Mirage book.

3. The Last Ronin

After 9 years of a fantastic ongoing TMNT comic, IDW decided to stretch its legs and pull an idea out of the Eastman and Laird idea archive. The Last Ronin, is a stand-alone TMNT tale originally outlined by both co-creators Eastman and Laird. It's dark, violent, somber and bold. TLR is easily the best TMNT comic to hit the market since 1992's City at War, and it deserves the same reverence. Truth be told, outside of the original conception of the series, Peter Laird had little to do with its story. The volume was such a success, a teaser was written into the last book that introduced a new generation of Turtles into the fold. This birthed the Ronin-verse. As silly as that may sound, the transition to a new quartet of Turtles has been healthy and fun. The Last Ronin 2 starts later this year and I have no worries that the new TMNT will be built with respect to the originals. That's a feat in and of itself.

2. 4Kids’ 2003 Animated Show

The 4Kids Animated show was produced during the Peter Laird years and with a few exceptions it’s a love letter to fans of the Mirage comics. Unlike the original show, which took the loose concept of Ninja Turtles and built its own little silly world, the 4Kids show took many of its stories directly from the comics and carried a tone closer to that comic's run. Sure some things had to be changed because it was still a kid’s show, but the entire run feels like it's what Laird wanted to do the first time around, but not having complete control got in the way. The best part is that it has aged remarkably well. Despite all episodes being 4:3 SD, the characters and stories still pop to this day. Which, in the end, is just a reflection of how good the source material is.

1. Mirage’s Original Comic Series 

Of course, #1 had to go to the Mirage run. Sure, a lot of things can be said about how disjointed the entire experience is, and how bad some of the guest contributors were during the height of the TMNT fad in the early 90′s, but at its core, the Mirage run represented so many different things. It was the start of what would become one of the most successful creator-owned franchises in American history. Mirage was built from nothing (hence the name), and ended up taking over the world on the strength of the characters they created. Vol. 1 of the comics was an instrumental piece of content in the indy comic boom of the 80s and was a flagship, “creators have rights” book. The canonical stories from Vols 1, 2 and 4 are the turtles at their most honest and raw. Eastman and more-so Laird weren’t afraid of taking chances and even the stories that didn’t pan-out HAD to be respected. So, what incarnation is the absolute best? It's the Mirage comics, without a doubt, by a wide margin. Say all the good things you can imagine about the other incarnations on this list, but none of them are "Capital I" Important. Sure, they were great, charming and even dabbled in amazing, but Mirage rewrote the rulebook, and that’s something that will never be usurped. 

Cheers!

Addendum: The following incarnations were omitted because they didn’t make a significant contribution to the greater TMNT story.  

All TMNT Manga, The TMNT Comic Strip, The Action Figures (they aren’t being included because they are just an extension of the shows and movies, but they kinda had a life of their own), Coming Out of Our Shells Live Tour, Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles, The 4kids Based Dreamwave Comics, Later TMNT Video Games (Konami, Ubisoft, and Activision Published), The many other crossover comic book series out there.

#tmnt #ninja turtles #teenage mutant ninja turtles #idw #nickelodeon #nick #mirage #Kevin Eastman #Peter Laird #eastman and laird #saban #uproxx #4kids #imagi #new line #archie comics #image comics #creator owned #platinum dunes #fred wolf #michael bay #rise of the tmnt #tmnt mutant mayhem #the last ronin

[liugeaux]

Thoughts on Strike Force Five

I've always had a respect for late-night talk shows. They're a staple of American culture and are synonymous with classic television. Almost vaudevillian, they're a manicured window into the world of entertainment that for generations has reflected the pulse of the nation.

With the writers' strike lasting all summer, the 5 big late-night hosts, Fallon, Colbert, Kimmel, Meyers, and Oliver jumped on Zoom and made a podcast to support their unemployed staff. It was a noble gesture, whose only flaw was arriving 3 months too late.

They took turns hosting an hour-long podcast where they chatted about their experiences as talk show hosts, how their shows are similar yet differ both in front and behind the cameras, their respective career routes that led them to late night, and even some fun personal life anecdotes.

The stories and convos were fun, hilarious, and often fascinating, but the real meat of the cast was getting to hear their banter. 5 professional funny dudes, gently ribbing each other while clearly maintaining a healthy friendship. The show revealed a lot about each host. Everything from their ability to tell an unscripted story to how quick they are on their feet. Each host has their own strengths and as morbid as this sounds, getting them on a cast together was a unique venue in which to size them up.

Here's what I learned about each host after listening to all 12 episodes of Strike Force Five (insert thunderclap). We'll sort these by Late Night tenure.

Jimmy Kimmel (2003-present: Jimmy Kimmel Live!)

Oddly enough, Kimmel has been on the air longer than any of his peers and despite being the least naturally funny of the group, seems like the most driven. Not to say that Kimmel isn't funny, he's just not comedian-funny. He is great at long-form jokes, and situational pranks, and some of his more absurd stunts border on artistic brilliance. Kimmel is undoubtedly a good hang. He comes from a more awkwardly offensive time, and in this unscripted show you could, at times, hear him wanting to drift towards Man Show style humor. To his credit, he never strayed too far from his Disney-approved late-night persona, which at this point might actually just be his natural self. He's an idea man, and the bigger the idea, the more he wants to do it. He was apparently the brains and engine behind Strike Force Five and those traits track through his surprisingly long and often bizarre career.

Stephen Colbert (2004-2014: The Colbert Report, 2015-present: The Late Show with Stephen Colbert)

As the oldest host on the cast, Colbert emerged from the Second City Chicago improv scene and found a home in the John Stewart stable of comedy writers. His journey to network television was weird, primarily because before taking his job at CBS he was famous for reporting news as a fictionalized version of himself on the Colbert Report. On Strike Force Five, Colbert was very much the elder statesman. His storytelling style was a noticeably slower template, leading to his tales being a bit long-winded and meander-y. In another setting that would be fine, but alongside his late-night peers, the difference was much more obvious. Part of this might also be a by-product of his Southern upbringing, but for what it's worth, as of 2023, I think The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the best "traditional" late-night show on TV. Colbert feels like a writer's comedian, he has a brilliant delivery when given a script and, if needed, he can seamlessly fall back on his improv training.

Jimmy Fallon (2009-2014: Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, 2014-present, The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon)

The most aloof member of the Strive Force is easily Jimmy Fallon. I've long thought of Fallon as the accidental lottery winner of the Leno vs. Conan late-night war of 2010. He was a no-brainer to replace Conan on Late Night, but once Leno's original successor was out of the picture, the big-boy-job of the coveted Tonight Show fell into his lap in 2014. He's turned it into the most modern late-night show with his higher-concept, Youtube-friendly, celebrity bits. Jimmy's energy is what the Tonight Show needs, but when placed among his peers, Fallon seems outclassed. He's inherently more charming than the rest of the Strike Force, and pretty fast on his feet, but for long stretches of the podcast, it almost seemed like he was either on-mute or not paying attention. Maybe he was waiting for his opening and just more polite than the others, but his soft-spoken demeanor got bulldozed through much of the series. With that being said, his willingness to play the buffoon might have turned him into the star of Strike Force Five. The infamous episode 5, in which Fallon created a match-game style quiz for the hosts and their spouses quickly devolved into a confusing train wreck that only got funnier as it spiraled into chaos. The potential for antics like this became one of the reasons to check out the show. Fallon leaning into his sheep-ish oaf routine had him emerging as the comedic battery of many of the episodes. He seems like the kind of comic that can show up half-prepared and still crush a room, just because his quick wit and charm do most of the heavy lifting. The most disappointing thing about Fallon's presence on the podcast was a complete lack of acknowledgment of the Rolling Stone article scandal, which was published a mere week after Strike Force Five's debut.

Seth Meyers (2014-present: Late Night with Seth Meyers)

Meyers is secretly the funniest member of the Strike Force Five. While his career may not be as prestigious as his podcast-mates, (this was hilariously made clear as the crew discussed the sad t-shirt rack of Late Night shirts in the NBC studio store at 30 Rock), Meyers is the most accomplished stand-up comedian of the bunch and that can't be ignored. He's the fastest with a joke, the funniest with that joke, and can craft a long-form story from his life with a careful-comedic-nuance I've never heard from any of the others. His version of Late Night strays from what Letterman, Conan, and Fallon did by being more of a Weekend Update or The Daily Show-style news desk show, but he's comfortable with that format and it works for his humor. A lot of Strike Force Five was 5 funny dudes fighting for air time, and while Kimmel and Colbert did the most talking, Meyer's joke-per-minute rate was off the charts compared to the two more talkative hosts. Like one of his predecessors, Conan, Seth Meyers does not get enough credit for the quality of his work and like Conan, he will likely get screwed out of The Tonight Show job. Conan's was a true screw job, but Seth's will more-than-likely be an age hurdle. Meyers is the same age as Fallon and both of them got their current shows around the age of 40. If Fallon hosts The Tonight Show for 25 years (which is reasonable, Leno finally left the show when he was 64) both him and Meyers will be 65. I don't see NBC giving their premiere late-night franchise to a 65-year-old Meyers. Note: Watch Seth Meyers: Lobby Baby on Netflix and you will understand my love for his stand-up.

John Oliver (2014-present: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver)

Like Colbert, John Oliver comes from Jon Stewert's stable of Daily Show correspondents. He's carved out a unique place in the Sunday night landscape, where his often outlandish and troll-like dark humor has thrived. He's my personal favorite of the bunch, and his show is the most likely to teach you something genuinely valuable. He's the only non-American-born host on Strike Force Five and the only host without a nightly show. His inclusion is curious, yet welcomed. Juxtaposed with his Strike Force peers, Oliver's bitingly dark wit and chaos-favoring humor stands out. No one enjoyed Fallon's Match-Game going up in flames as much as John Oliver and he seems to genuinely gain his life force from getting under the skin of the subjects on his show. On the podcast, Oliver was one of the more quiet hosts, and that led to his presence feeling more like a courtesy than an obligation. In my mind, I can hear him saying in his most polite British voice, "Oh, I'm aware that I don't exactly belong here, but I'm appreciative of the opportunity." Like Colbert's Southern roots, maybe John's just too British to dominate time on a podcast with so many white American hosts. Oliver is a great stand-up comic too. Like Meyers, if his TV career ended tomorrow, he could easily fall back on his remarkable stand-up talents and find excellent work for the rest of his life. John Oliver is a gem that I think would be dullened by a nightly show, and as a huge fan of both him and his show, I'm super grateful he was asked to be a part of the podcast. Hearing him hold his own with the more mainstream late-night stars was wonderful.

As a whole, the show was really fun. It's a snapshot of a moment in time that will never be captured again. Imagine if, David Letterman, Conan O'Brien, Tom Snyder, Jay Leno, and Dennis Miller had a radio show in 1997. What would that have sounded like? What would we have learned from it? It's just fascinating. I guess I need to mention the John Stewart and David Letterman episodes of Strike Force Five. It was great getting two legends of the format in on the conversation, but I don't know if it was necessary. Note: Letterman is super old now, but he's still sharp as a tack and maybe the best to ever do the late-night job.

One of the elephants in the room on Strike Force Five is the distinctive lack of any representation of people of color. As it stands, I'm not aware of any current major shows hosted by people of color. Both the Late Late Show and Daily Show's desks are currently vacant with the former likely to not be filled at all. The all-white Strike Force Five panel might just be a by-product of who is still watching these shows. It's probably middle-aged white people who are irreversibly accustomed to watching late-night television, and as the format dies, they will go down with the ship. In turn, the risk-averse networks stick with the white male hosts to not scare their tiny remaining audience away. It's not just, but sadly it's probably true.

Network talk shows might be a dying genre, but while they cling to relevance, Strike Force Five could go down as an important moment in the history of late-night television and I'm thrilled to have been here to experience it in real-time.

#striveforcefive #jimmyfallon #jimmykimmel #stephencolbert #john oliver #seth meyers #jimmy kimmel #jimmy fallon