itsmariestmarcuniverse

[itsmariestmarcuniverse]

“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”

[itsmariestmarcuniverse]

I helped* (*I mean, not really) https://www.instagram.com/p/CDFGtwHD7XwBLOAYesrDFQfWb-cQdcY4AumCKM0/?igshid=13838ftwqqocx

[itsmariestmarcuniverse]

I helped* (*I mean, not really) https://www.instagram.com/p/CDFGtwHD7XwBLOAYesrDFQfWb-cQdcY4AumCKM0/?igshid=13838ftwqqocx

[itsmariestmarcuniverse]

Does this mean I get to spend the next two weeks waking up like this? (He’s really close!) https://www.instagram.com/p/B9wWRB9HuK55-t3o9gLpl64K9F_jumJPxy5fy80/?igshid=1st762qhgha2a

[itsmariestmarcuniverse]

Just another reason why Letterland isn’t working ...

Me: Let’s look at the picture and see if we can find the words with Double E!

(Mostly random shouting) Street! Queen! Jeep! Cheese!

Girl 1: Wait, does monkey have a double e?

Me: No. Where do you see a monkey? (Class shows me in the picture.) Oh, that’s a chimpanzee. It’s not a monkey.

Boy: Chimpanzees are, like, boy gorillas, right?

Me (remembering that time when I taught 1st grade when a boy told his group that all Gorillas are boys and all Monkeys are girls): What?

Boy: Chimpanzees are boys and gorillas are girls.

Me: No. They are completely different species. What teacher keeps telling you all this?

#gorrilla #monkey #chimpanzee #second grade #what? #please help #send help

[itsmariestmarcuniverse]

Mr. Pouty Paws is upset because I made him wear a costume. He might be dressed as Thor but I’m thankful he can’t call down the lightning! https://www.instagram.com/p/B4TDEgngx6nUWEsrAvUBGXqoLXWRlCvv42dPao0/?igshid=12wn59hisalkb

[itsmariestmarcuniverse]

Happy Caturday

Tom Hiddleston

[itsmariestmarcuniverse]

Oh, Sweetie

Normally, I use this platform to complain or tell my funny kid stories, but not today.

You see, one of my kids from last year, My Worry, had his last day at school today.

My Worry was non-verbal by choice. (He could talk, he would talk, he just didn’t like it if he was on his meds.) He also abhorred things or people touching him. I had him in class for first and second grade, so he knew me, trusted me, and usually liked me. But he was never demonstrative.

I was called to the office while I was supervising recess and there was My Worry and his mom. (She was already teary, for reasons I would soon discover.) The guidance councilor, who had always helped me with My Worry, was there and she told me it was his last day.

Me: Oh, really?

MW: I’m moving to (a place two states away).

Me: I remember you said you were going to visit there. You’re moving?

MW: My dad got the job. (Pause) I asked if I could say goodbye to you.

Me: Well, that was sweet. (My frozen heart started to melt right there.)

MW: Can I give you a hug?

Me: Of course! (His mom started to bawl. I told you this kid doesn’t hug.)

I get down on his level and we hug. I look him in the eyes and tell him to just be his lovable self and he will have new friends in no time. If he misses me, his mom has my email address and he can let her know to send me a line or two. I get two more hugs before we are done. His mom just cries harder after every one.

His Mom: Thank you so much for everything you’ve done for him the past two years. I never dreamed I’d see the day when he was willing to hug another person.

And you know what? That is why I teach.

#why i teach #teaching #teacher #recess #student #goodbye

[itsmariestmarcuniverse]

[itsmariestmarcuniverse]

I’m stitching along with @shitpostsampler. I figured out the border - still cannot count to save my life! However, this object may be cursed, as I had to improvise a bit.

#wip #stitches #cross stitch #SPS

[itsmariestmarcuniverse]

Surprise!

On Spring Break, so I’m at Dad’s house.  My brother and I decided to throw Dad a surprise party for his 60th birthday in July.  I made reservations for a restaurant in January: they didn’t have a problem with decorating, we could bring our own cake, and they had a nice, private room with a fire place.  (Not that we’d need a fire place in July, but it’s the Midwest, so … Maybe.)  Also, no booking/reservation fee!  Yay!

While driving to the house from the airport, Dad and I pass the venue.

It’s closed.  I asked Dad about it, as nonchalantly as I could, and he told me that they closed in February.

(Well, that explains why they didn’t respond to my email from March.)

I told my brother about this and he says, and this is a direct quote, “Oh, I didn’t know that.  I don’t drive that way too often.”

You mean to tell me that you haven’t driven past the restaurant we have booked in four months?  Okay - new direction, where should we have this party?

So I have spent the last six days trying to find a new venue without letting my dad realize what I’m doing.  I’ve booked a new place (with a deposit) and reordered invitations.  I’m not having a panic attack at all.

I don’t like surprises.

#surprise #party #dad #brother #no help

[itsmariestmarcuniverse]

Ok, friendships! We are ending the year with our most requested quote. It doesn’t quite feel right to call it a shitpost, even though that’s our standard. Like with Truth, both Fry and Prism were inspired and thought that more versions of this phrase would be better than less. We also threw these up on our gumroad right off the bat, so you can find the simple one here and the floral wreath version here. As per usual they are pay what you want, although we suggest $2.50. With this comes a little housekeeping. We’ve loved throwing so much fresh content into the void, but now we need a break with the holidays coming up. So there will be no new patterns for the rest of 2018. We will still be around and posting works in progress and such, but otherwise please take this invocation to do good into 2019, and be reckless with it!

[itsmariestmarcuniverse]

a goth mom posted this on facebook in an argument about public breastfeeding and I just felt very impressed

[itsmariestmarcuniverse]

A #tbt from before I had this blog -

This is a story about a boy who will forever be known in my heart, soul, and terror center as “The Incredible Mike.”

Not Hulk. Mike.

(Mike is not his real name.)

Mike had sensory issues and could not handle sitting on the carpet, so he was allowed to sit at his desk. (The carpet didn’t feel right and he didn’t like the sounds of the people breathing too closely to him.) Mike also had behavior/defiance issues, so he was allowed to color on days that started off well. (We went to the carpet approximately 3 times a day, so he had three opportunities to draw/color daily - as long as he promised to pay attention.) Honestly, he paid better attention while drawing/coloring/creating than when he had to sit still, but that’s a different story.

On this particular day, Mike had entered the room somewhat subdued. He mentioned that his therapist changed his medication and it made him feel different. (The fact that an adult in his life didn’t let me know is neither here nor there. I’m just glad he could verbalize it.)

And, so, with all this exposition, I started our routine. For the first 45 minutes, Mike wasn’t with me. He was with the resource teacher for reading, but he came back when we started our reading time. He chose to sit at his desk and started his creating time. (The day before, he had finished the last of the Ninja Turtles as masks - I had a set of 4 on my desk that he and his friends wanted to use at recess.) He had a paper out, his crayons, and a pair of scissors. (I didn’t think anything of it, because he had created the masks yesterday and had told me of his plan to start the Avengers that day.)

I started reading Wemberly Worried (by Kevin Hinkes). It felt like I had been reading forever, but I had maybe gotten 5 pages in, when I noticed several students in the class were not paying attention. And then I looked at the smartest, most on-task, Golden Child all teachers dream of, and SHE wasn’t paying attention. She was attempting to get my attention in the most discrete way possible. (Well, she was six, so it wasn’t EXACTLY discrete.)

With her waving her hand and pointing behind me, I looked at her and said, “What is it, (Golden Child)?”

The only words that came out of her mouth were, “Look, teacher.”

So I did.

There was Mike, flinging his last shoe off to the corner as he climbed onto the chair (then desk). I watched, horrified, as his pulled his shirt over his head, and it, too, landed in some corner or another after swinging it around his head like stripper.

“Eyes on me,” I told the rest of the class as I walked to the other side of the room to press the office button. “Eyes. On. Me.” I continued to read as I waited for office assistance. I watched as socks and belt were hurled. I asked for administrative assistance and hurry if possible. (Mostly, I wasn’t ready to have a conversation about keeping our clothing on.)

I flagged down a volunteer (a wonderful, grandmotherly woman) who continued to read while I distracted Mike.

Mike.

Who was now 1) on top of his desk, 2) half- to- two-thirds naked, 3) flexing his muscles (?) while 4) roaring like the T-Rex from Jurassic Park. So, think The Incredible Hulk meets Magic Mike.

I got him off the desk and into the hallway and started walking him to the teachers’ work room when the principal came into the building at the opposite end of the hall. She starts with “Who’s with your class?”

“Mrs. Volunteer.”

“I’ll stay with them while you deal with this. Oh, and you should call his parent.”

“I think he needs a private place to calm down.”

“This is fine.”

Note: No, it wasn’t.

Now, about the time I got Mike into the hallway, he started scratching at himself. During this exchange with my boss, he started DIGGING his nails into his skin and pulling his hands down his arms.

Well, Volunteer came out of the room with all Mike’s clothes. We got his shirt and socks on but decided not to push it with the belt and shoes.

I call the parents while Volunteer got wet towels and helped to calm him down. His resource teacher came and started distracting him. I talked to a parent. “Oh, yeah, they changed his meds.” Yeah, he told me. “Well, I can call his doctor, I guess.” I really think he needs to go home. He needs somewhere to be safe. (At this point, he’s babbling about people trying to find him, the clawing has turned into an anxious rubbing/scouring, and he decided to put his shoes back on.) “I can’t leave work. I’ll get fired. I’m already pushing it by answering my phone. Just keep him there. He’ll be fine.” Note: he wasn’t. “I’ll call you back when I hear from the doctor.”

Massive effing eye roll.

I call the office and tell the secretary if Mike’s parents call, I need to talk to them immediately.

Mike has Volunteer and Resource Teacher trying to calm him down. I take one of the wet towels and start rubbing it down his arm while Volunteer does it on the other side. Resource Teacher gets his belt back through the loops. This seemed to soothe him, until it didn’t. He smacked our arms away and tried to run but we blocked him and convinced him to sit in a chair.

The clawing returned, raising welts on his arms and causing some minor bleeding. Resource Teacher realized he liked the pressure on his arms, but probably not the paper towel. She and Volunteer started to rub while I crouched down in front of him.

“Mike, I know you don’t feel right. You’re probably feeling like the Hulk.” I got a nod from that. “But the Hulk isn’t always the Hulk. I need Bruce Banner to come out. Can you pretend to be Bruce Banner?” He shook his head. “Well, let’s think about what it means to be Bruce Banner vs the Hulk.”

Using this comparison, I got Mike to talk to me. He was able to calm down and stop scratching. He buckled his belt and prepared to head back to class.

When we got there, Principal asked what took so long and only received a glare from me. I told her that Parent said to wait for a call. I wanted to know immediately and I wanted to talk to the parent.

No one came to help him that day. Every adult in his life failed him. Parent called and told me that the doctor failed to mention that Mike should receive this new medication ALONG WITH the old meds. He’d only gotten the new one that morning. Parent wasn’t going to bring him old meds or take him home though. None of his doctors insisted upon it. I’m not sure if they heard the part where he attempted to CLAW HIS VEINS OUT. Admin wouldn’t remove him from a situation where he was under duress (because, I’ve since been told, there was no reason for him to be under duress). And the only way I could reach him (by myself the rest of the day as I didn’t have an assistant and the volunteer was actually there for a kindergarten class) was by calling him Dr. Banner - to remind him that he was smart, calm, kind, and, above all else, human.

That’s right.

The thing Mike liked about Bruce Banner the most in that moment, for that day, was that he was human.

This child was hurting. He thought he was a monster. He saw himself as the Hulk. And I had to remind this baby (7 year old) that he was human in the only comparison he had. Bruce Banner.

Resource Teacher and I were talking about him today. He transferred out of our school about a month after this incident. I hope he is okay and I pray for him often. But I’m sharing this for a reason:

Parents: Allow me to be your teammate. I can’t stop your child from playing with someone you find “unsavory,” but I can give them tools to remove themselves from that situation. I don’t call for no reason. I need your help. Your child needs OUR help. I can only do what’s best when I have all the information.

Teachers: This job is one that makes you feel alone. You are in front of your class without aides, without other teachers, and sometimes without admin support (they’ve got their own problems to handle that can’t always be ours). But you’re not alone. The day after this (I left school AT 3:30 that afternoon) I walked in to a note on my board asking my students to be extra good to me. It was signed from the teacher in Lilly’s Purple Plastic Purse (a story we read days before and they loved that teacher). It was from my teammates who heard about my ordeal (and my 17 threats to quit that day).

General Public: When schools ask for more money - this is why. Stop cutting the funding. Our resource teacher was split between two schools the previous year. We were able to keep her part time because the state had given our district a smidge more money at the beginning of the year. (Not enough for another aide or teacher, but enough to keep the one we had full time.) Volunteer, if you can. You probably won’t run into an Incredible Mike, but you can run copies, help a teacher get organized, or work with students. Just an hour a week helps.

Btw: last I heard, Mike moved even farther into the country and got a puppy.

#first grade #teaching #teacher #bruce banner #the incredible hulk #the hulk #hulk #avengers #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt #help #mental health #schools

[itsmariestmarcuniverse]

Guys, you’re in the second grade!

On the walk in from recess:

Into Everything: I can’t wait until Thanksgiving!

His Bestie: That’s in, like, February!

Me: What?!

His Bestie (to no one in particular): Am I thinking about Valentine’s Day?

Mr. Know it All to Into Everything: Are you sure you don’t mean Easter? It’s the one coming up.

Into Everything : Nope. Thanksgiving. We’re going to visit my family (in a different state).

His Bestie and Mr. Know it All: Ooohhhh.

#second grade #holidaze #holiday #thanksgiving #easter #valentines #spring break in two weeks

[itsmariestmarcuniverse]

I’m loving this blog and really want a chance at winning!

5k GIVEAWAY?!

We genuinely can’t believe it. You guys are so amazing and we’re so happy to be on this journey with all of you, absurd blue hellsite and all. The folks who have told us that they rekindled a hobby, or those that have started new, the wild submissions, and the sheer quantity of people who have made the absurd electrical impulses from our brains into a thing you can hold in your hand brings us joy on a daily basis. 

So what are we giving away?

1. A pattern commission from us. It will be around our standard size and complexity, in .pdf form

2. A mystery needle minder! Prism has been practicing construction in anticipation of the Nat 20′s we’re going to get in, so she’s got a small array of tests that came out very nicely. 

3. A mystery kit! So many mysteries. We’re just getting started creating kits, so you can get your hands on one before they become available. 

4. A gorgeous pattern from @mathysphere. If you haven’t taken a look at their patterns, you should! Right here! The entire pride planet series is amazing. We went with the first of the series for our giveaway:

Fun Fact: Mathy was the very first blog that ever followed us. We were mildly intimidated because their stuff is so dang cool. 

What are the rules?

Current followers and folks who follow us before April 5th (12:00PM Central US time) will be automatically entered into the contest.

For other entries like or reblog this post. Multiple reblogs are allowed within reason and our discretion. Don’t annoy your spacemates. Giveaway specific blogs will be disqualified. We’ll post updates if we think of any. Good luck!

[itsmariestmarcuniverse]

I love spelling tests.

#second grade #teacher #teaching #i'm serious #i know weve talked about this