itsevanffs

[itsevanffs]

Guest comments back on!

Guest comments have now been turned back on! We'll continue to keep an eye out for any spam issues and make further adjustments as needed. (22:08 UTC April 23, 2024)

#yay!!! #yippee even

[itsevanffs]

I feel like with the advent of the whole debate surrounding how fiction affects reality and whether shipping xyz makes you a bad person, there have been two shifts; treating fictional characters like they're real people capable of feelings and wants, and, on the flipside, treating real people like they're fictional characters.

The first shift has been talked about... honestly a lot, so I won't repeat it. However I feel like the second shift has been on the rise too, and I haven't seen much on it, so I want to talk about it here.

As you may well know, I'm an author. A transgressive author, I guess, if you want to give what I do a name. I write about topics that aren't socially acceptable, like rape, incest, violence, grooming, et cetera. I'm aware a lot of people don't like what I do, and thankfully so far those people have left me mostly alone.

There are a lot of people, however, who do like what I do, and do appreciate the stuff I write. And those are the people, it seems, who often forget that I'm a real person too.

Over the past year I've gotten multiple messages from people who enjoy my fics, especially the darker ones, who take the subject matter of my stories as a carte blanche to tell me whatever. I've been told, unprompted, about childhood trauma, recent trauma, explicit sexual fantasies and more, and on one particularly nauseating occasion, someone decided it'd be fine to tell me they wished they'd been raped as a child.

I would like to remind all of you that I am a human being.

I'm not your therapist, I'm not your parent, I'm not your partner, and for the majority of you, I am not your friend. I may be closer and more accessible than a traditional author because I have a Tumblr and a discord server and the like, but that does not make me your buddy. Even my close friends cannot just tell me anything they'd like unprompted without my permission, because I am a human being too, not a therapy chatbot.

I have boundaries, and I would like them to be respected.

#tw rape #tw trauma #incest mention #grooming mention #personal #life update #i do not want any apologies. none. i don't care if you think you did what i described i don't want to hear it #and for the record; if you attack or harass anyone in my name you are dead to me.

[itsevanffs]

Since Ao3 has temporarily disabled guest comments due to very mean and pornographic bots, now is a very good time for 1) readers with Ao3 accounts to comment on the fics they love and cherish to make up for those who cannot leave guest comments and 2) readers without Ao3 accounts to join the waitlist and make an account!

#i bet there are a lot of people willing to share invite codes #but even if not the waitlist really isn't that long #a few days at most iirc!

[itsevanffs]

About the AO3 "No Guest Comments for a while" warning

If you're not following any of AO3's social media accounts you might be in the dark as to what kind of "spam comments" have engendered this banner at the top of the site:

These spam comments have been posted about a great deal on the AO3 subreddit for the past couple of days. Initially they comprised a bunch of guest (logged out users) bot comments that insulted authors by suggesting they were using AI and not writing their own fics. Some examples, from the subreddit:

But it then escalated to outright graphic porn images and gifs being posted in comments, again by logged out 'Guest' accounts. Obviously, I'm not going to give examples of those, but between these two bot infestations, AO3 has clearly decided to act and has temporarily closed the ability to post comments for users who are not logged in with an AO3 account.

Unfortunately, this means that genuine readers who don't have an AO3 account won't be able to leave comments on fics that they enjoy.

If you are a genuine reader who doesn't yet have an AO3 account, I strongly suggest getting yourself on the waiting list for one. More and more AO3 authors are now locking their fics down to registered users only - either due to these bot comments or concerns about AI scraping their work - which means you're probably missing out on a lot of great stuff.

Hopefully guest commenting will be enabled again at some point soon, but I suggest not waiting until then. Get yourself on that list.

Wait times are going to be longer than usual at the moment, due to the current Wattpad purge [info on Fanlore | Wattpad subreddit thread], but if you're in line, then your invite will come through eventually.

Update: There's now a Megathread about this on the AO3 subreddit.

[itsevanffs]

Guest comments temporarily disabled

Due to an influx of abusive spam comments, we've temporarily turned off the ability to leave comments while logged out. We apologize for the inconvenience, and hope to have guest comments back on soon! (16:06 UTC April 21, 2024)

#:( rip anons #i love you still!! #also get a (2nd) ao3 account if you haven't already #the freedom is honestly great

[itsevanffs]

So I just saw a post by a random personal blog that said “don’t follow me if we never even had a conversation before” and?????? Not to be rude but literally what the fuck??????????

I’ve had people (non-pornbots) try to strike conversation out of nowhere in my DMs recently, and now I’m wondering if they were doing that because they wanted to follow me and thought they needed to interact first. I feel compelled to say, just in case, that it’s totally okay to follow this blog (or my side blog, for that matter) even if we’ve never talked before.

Also, I’m legit confused. Is this how follow culture works right now? It was worded like it’s common sense but is that really a thing?

[itsevanffs]

bring back tumblr ask culture let me. bother you with questions and statements

[itsevanffs]

Slowly

E | 31.3k | WIP | Underage, Chose Not To Warn

Tags: Grooming, Age Difference, Unhealthy Relationships, Domestic, Caretaking, Slow Build

Summary:

"What are you thinking of, huh?" Miguel breathes against his skin, his hand sliding from Miles' hip to his stomach to caress it, pelvis to sternum and back again. "You," Miles answers honestly. "I love you."

#evan's spiderverse tag #flowerfang #evan's mimi tag #fic update #slowly #this is chapter 10.5 btw :3 i'm probably gonna call them their proper numbers from now on #it's technically an interlude before the 2nd arc but ya :3

[itsevanffs]

insert pun about ABBA here

M | 3.3k | WIP | Chose Not To Warn Tags: Mamma Mia Au, Modern With Magic, Infidelity, Hurt/Comfort

Summary:

Harry's getting married to the love of his life, and eager to connect with his late mother's memory, he invites all three men his mother's journals mentioned could be his father: James Potter, Sirius Black and Tom Riddle.

#fic update #tomarry #harry potter #tomarrymort #mamma mia au #god i really need to get my tags in line... smh #that's a problem for tomorrow me though #or whatever day i decide to do that #anyway chapter 2 #or summat

[itsevanffs]

Slowly

E | 31.3k | WIP | Underage, Chose Not To Warn

Tags: Grooming, Age Difference, Unhealthy Relationships, Domestic, Caretaking, Slow Build

Summary:

"What are you thinking of, huh?" Miguel breathes against his skin, his hand sliding from Miles' hip to his stomach to caress it, pelvis to sternum and back again. "You," Miles answers honestly. "I love you."

#slowly #evan's mimi tag #evan's spiderverse tag #flowerfang #fanfic #fic update #it's happening...

[itsevanffs]

Plops this in your asks in case you hadn't already stumbled across it:

🥺 i can't see what you wanted to add... if you want you can dm it to me though!

#answered #ask

[itsevanffs]

Fic outtake: In Their Absence

Still not quite satisfied enough with this Voldemort POV to make it an epilogue chapter, so leaving it here instead! Spoilers for the whole fic, since it's set around chapter 7/8.

Voldemort had changed.

It was not the first time. He had remade himself before, and he could do so again. There was pain in it, as there always was; but the rewards, this time, proved the equal to that pain. More than equal.

And, despite his initial expectations, it had been a less painful remaking than the previous ones in Voldemort’s life. That was entirely because it had come accompanied by the knowledge, which soon seeped bone-deep, that Harry was his.

He had been furious, the first moment he saw the word horcrux cross Harry’s mind. The rage had almost overwhelmed him. If it had not been for the strong suspicion that breaking the enchantment might well require Harry, Voldemort would have punished him there and then. To have had such knowledge of Voldemort, and to have attempted to use it in such a way, merited the strongest reproof.

But Voldemort had managed to refrain. And, when his anger had cooled a fraction and he had allowed himself to follow through all the evidence to its impossible and yet undeniable conclusion, he had seen the first glimmers of the gift that had been laid before him.

All it required was for Voldemort to pick it up.

And so the change, when it came, was one Voldemort not only accepted as necessary, but welcomed. As he sank into Harry’s mind, it was in the sure knowledge that he was already there. His soul had been part of Harry’s soul for most of Harry’s life. They had grown together as Harry grew, intimately intertwined, even if entirely unknowing.

The thought was a pleasing one. After all, Voldemort had always liked possessing things, and this was perhaps the finest possession of all. He had possessed Harry’s soul. He had given him Parseltongue. It continued to be another pleasure, hearing that language on Harry’s lips. Knowing, as he heard it, that it was proof that Voldemort was so deep in Harry he could not be rooted out.

That made it easier to let Harry into him.

And, as he had known it would, his chosen method worked. He gained from the experience, even as he changed; and the change came from himself, as Harry was his.

He had never truly cared for anyone before. He had been fond of various of his Knights, his Death Eaters, but he had also sacrificed them without compunction. And yet he cared now for Harry. It was an inevitable effect of having soaked in him, having sunk through every layer of his mind, his memories. Harry was so open to him. There was nothing in him that Voldemort could not see. His mind recognised Voldemort, welcomed him.

It was no intrusion. Voldemort could see it, in how willingly Harry adapted to Voldemort’s presence, both in the maze and in his dreams. Harry gave, and gave again.

And Voldemort would give back. He would be generous. He would, for example, rid Harry of his Muggle relatives. It had not taken Voldemort long to realise that he ought to focus on Harry’s time at Hogwarts, rather than earlier memories, if he wanted to bathe in positive associations; but Voldemort had seen enough. Had lived enough. He would repay what that filth had done to him.

Because what people now did to Harry, they did to Voldemort also.

Voldemort was not one to linger on the past, to waste time on regrets. And so, having chosen this change, he embraced it. It had been his choice to make, and he had chosen correctly; the proof was in how easy the change was to bear, and how easy it continued to be to maintain. He took everything from Harry that he needed to take, and he would keep on doing so.

And there was plenty to take. He could appreciate – now they were his – the qualities which Harry possessed. His stubbornness was now an asset, as was his adaptability, his ability to face the situation he was in and not the one he wished it to be. And he was clever enough, with the right hands-on tutelage; he was able to provide material assistance to the magic Voldemort wished to conduct in the labyrinth. He also trusted Voldemort – walked beside him, took food from him, learned from him – handed himself over willingly, body and mind, and yet, by the end, still knew not to trust his fate blindly to Voldemort’s word.

Voldemort would never acknowledge to Harry the justness of his suspicion; it would be a little counterproductive. And yet if circumstances had been slightly different, Voldemort would have considered leaving Harry behind. It would have been an invaluable resting place for his horcrux.

But he could not be entirely sure that Dumbledore would not have put safeguards in place, were Voldemort to leave the labyrinth. Better to keep Harry with him than risk the labyrinth releasing him elsewhere, alone.

And Voldemort also found he did not wish to deny himself of the pleasures of having Harry with him.

He had not lied to Harry about that; he had gained an appreciation for the pleasures of the flesh, after so long without a body. He had come to recognise their value in a way that perhaps nobody else alive, nobody who had not lived as he had, wraithlike, could truly match. And with Harry – to feel that bodily gratification echoed, to feel Harry’s exquisite pleasure heightening Voldemort’s own – there was nobody else who could give him that. It was another unlooked-for gift in Harry, allowing Voldemort to know such pleasures twice over, his own and Harry’s own. He had known both intimately, indulged in both entirely, and he would continue to do so.

Spending so much time in Harry’s mind had had its effect. Voldemort’s rage came more slowly, now, though it was still undeniably present. Especially when he thought of Dumbledore. To know that the old fool had come so close to hiding this from him – to keeping Harry from him –

He would have to send several of his Death Eaters back to the grave, to destroy the whole thing and bury Dumbledore in oblivion. The thought that he might have missed this, might never have known what Harry was to him, was enough to leave him wishing he felt secure enough in the labyrinth to cast an unforgiveable or two.

He could only calm himself by sinking, once again, into Harry’s mind. He had Harry now, and he would keep him. Dumbledore had not seen him cared for; Voldemort would.

And, as they came closer to breaking the enchantment, Voldemort allowed his thoughts to turn to who else would require his attention outside. He would have to find Dumbledore’s ally, the one who had triggered the enchantment, and bring them to a slow and painful end.

He would also have to devise some more subtle punishment for Ron Weasley, for daring to strike down one part of his soul. Sadly, it could not be commensurate to the offence. An unfortunate but inevitable effect of soaking in Harry’s mind was gaining a measure of his affection for his friends. Voldemort would not be able to find it in himself to truly harm any of them. He would of course not alert Harry to such a fact, because those friends would very likely be required as leverage should Harry prove stubborn upon exiting the enchantment.

It was all tied together. Voldemort could not badly harm them, because Harry cared for them; but because Harry cared for them, Voldemort could use them. They were rooted in Harry, though not as deeply as Voldemort himself.

It would provide some slight impediment, but not an insurmountable one. Because, for all Harry’s seemingly disinterested compassion for the world – his willingness to throw himself away for Dumbledore’s greater good – he only truly cared for a few.

Voldemort had come to understand that, and acknowledged its utility. He had been dismissive, before, of Harry’s readiness to sacrifice himself for anyone and everyone. Now, Voldemort knew that in the end he had always been laying his life down for his friends, for the people he knew and loved. And Voldemort could work around that. Harry might profess a general horror of harming other people, but there were only a few people that Voldemort was going to be unable to truly harm. He would only have to keep safe the ones Harry deeply cared for, and that was something Voldemort would be able to do.

He had told Harry before that he would be generous, and he had meant it.

He knew, now, that for Harry it was always personal. Individual. He did not care in the abstract; he cared concretely.

And he now cared for Voldemort.

He was still in denial, but he could not hide himself from Voldemort. He turned to Voldemort, now. Opened up beneath him. Gave himself up in all ways.

There would be a period of readjustment, upon exiting the labyrinth. Conditions would not be so controlled. Voldemort had still not entirely decided, in his own mind, how he would proceed. That he would keep Harry was not in question; it was merely how he would bring Harry to him, and how soon. That would depend a little on the circumstances they found outside, and on Harry himself. Voldemort could not read his intentions from his mind; Harry did not know them himself.

It made it a little more difficult to plan, to guide Harry in the correct direction – but Voldemort could be patient, now. For Harry, and thanks to Harry. He would give Harry no immediate reason to turn away. Once they were out, he would ensure beyond all doubt that the labyrinth was destroyed, that his Death Eaters were still obeying his instructions, that his position was secure.

And then he would come for Harry.

#loving this

[itsevanffs]

Slowly

E | 27.0k | WIP | Underage, Chose Not To Warn

Tags: Grooming, Age Difference, Unhealthy Relationships, Domestic, Caretaking, Slow Build

Summary:

"What are you thinking of, huh?" Miguel breathes against his skin, his hand sliding from Miles' hip to his stomach to caress it, pelvis to sternum and back again. "You," Miles answers honestly. "I love you."

#evan's spiderverse tag #evan's mimi tag #fic update #slowly #first time hitting 10 chapters -round of applause for myself- !! #i'm really excited about keeping going ^v^

[itsevanffs]

someone I follow on the bird app just announced they're starting a very exclusive private fic server because they and a bunch of other people want to talk about how much they love the fics they're reading, and as an author can I just say that a really great place to talk about a fic you love is in the comments for that fic

I understand that people are trying to create safe spaces, but as the number of comments that I get on my fics dwindles with each passing year, knowing these spaces exist where my fics are being discussed, places that I am excluded from, makes me want to write fic LESS

I mean I guess who cares, right, because if I stop writing, there's 10,000 other people that will continue...but if you participate in a fic "book club" server and you say nice things there about a fic you loved, maybe copy and paste that into a comment on AO3?

the only thing fanfic writers are asking for in return for hours of hard work is attention. please don't rob us of the one thing that we hope for when we hit "post"

#the one thing that will make me happy any day of the week is a nice comment #please please please let me know you liked my stuff #even if it's just a heart!! everything is fine!! i love long comments but i love short comments too! i love them all!!

[itsevanffs]

"The picture on the front page says enough: Harry looking back at the press, blood on his face, his hands, his clothes, and Lord Gaunt stepping in closer to quickly shield him with a long, dark cloak." — DMAY ch 61, by @toast-ranger-to-a-stranger 💕

make my day by reblogging and not reposting!

#my art #fanart #harry potter #itsevanffs finished works #hp fanart #fic fanart #dmay fanart #tomarrymort #love you toastie! #mwah mwah mwah

[itsevanffs]

cat pics requested. i am but a humble servant

this is alana. she is beautiful

@aspengray

#cat #i don't know what to tag #this is my cat #one of them #this is alana #and she is the best girl #most beautiful girl

[itsevanffs]

a lot of tag games

i'm just gonna combine them into one post because otherwise i think the next like 10 posts you see are all gonna be my tag games. below the cut etc etc

so, first and foremost, @aglassroseneverfades tagged me in a get to know tag game:

Relationship status: proud cat owner. i'm committed

Favorite color: probably the colour of alana's eyes. or her nose. or her beans. but cardinal red is a close contender

Song stuck in my head: nothing in particular, but i've been listening to all of cam ostrom's stuff on repeat recently. also bought his first EP the second i found him haha

Favorite food: broccoli and camembert pie (quiche?) with cashews

Last song I listened to: another familiar window by cam ostrom

Dream trip: home

Last thing I googled: tumblr

@raehb336 and @toast-ranger-to-a-stranger tagged me in a wip tag game:

post all the names of the files in your wip folder, no matter how obscure or ridiculous. ok. it says to tag someone for every wip but i don't think i can tag like 80 people and i honestly don't want to. i have these in alphabetical order based on fandom btw

FS: rewrite

GF: cat eyes

HP: 2.5

HP: a/b/o fic canon adjacent

HP: a/b/o fic sacred nests

HP: a/b/o fic teacher/student

HP: a/b/o incest for monsieur

HP: a/b/o incest scarves

HP: a/b/o laundry au

HP: a learning experience

HP: at the expense of the world

HP: audio fic

HP: blood in your mouth

HP: blood relations 6

HP: boogeyman au

HP: chav au

HP: childhood pictures

HP: cnpg

HP: crash & burn

HP: curfew

HP: DNP

HP: DNA

HP: doll au

HP: egg creature fic

HP: emd fic of fic

HP: enamoured

HP: eton au

HP: fae au

HP: favours

HP: forced fem au

HP: forcedpreg kidnapping au

HP: futuristic ABO au

HP: hold me down (fuck me up)

HP: hooker au

HP: icarus au

HP: incest au 20

HP: incest inf nc

HP: in the dark rewrite

HP: junkie au

HP: lucifer au

HP: maid au

HP: mamma mia au

HP: mirror au

HP: monastery au

HP: monastery au 2

HP: new politics

HP: oedipus fic

HP: oviparous

HP: ovipos intersex

HP: priest incest au

HP: priest au n

HP: rage, rage

HP: red riding hood au

HP: reverse a/b/o au

HP: robot au

HP: romeo & juliet au

HP: smart move

HP: snow white au

HP: songbird au

HP: stalker au

HP: storm & silence au

HP: swan lake au

HP: tentacles

HP: the darker the weather

HP: the mark upon your heart rewrite

HP: therapy au

HP: tomcest bar sex

HP: tomcest sr 6

HP: vampire au

HP: vee pov genfic

HP: vespertine rewrite

HP: violent resurrection fic

HP: vol de lys

HP: zombie a/b/o au

RG: lecture

SS: swallowing smoke

SV: cnc

SV: eggs

SV: final exam

SV: god's just sleeping

SV: jumper au

SV: slowly

SV: sugar

SV: the worst

SN: demon

and no, these aren't all my fics, they're literally just the ones marked wip. my total fic count reaches 169, because i keep track.

@aglassroseneverfades tagged me in a picrew/uquiz combination, so that's going here:

i don't know if i 100% agree with the quiz but i do like taking care of people, up to a point. beyond that you're on your own, though i can help take care of some of the cleanup.

@toast-ranger-to-a-stranger tagged me in seven sentence sunday, which is good timing on my part because it is in fact sunday:

Mr O’Hara hums. “You like the rain?” “I don’t like-like it,” Miles begins, then changes his mind. “Well, I like it when I’m inside. Not when I’m stuck in a downpour in the middle of nowhere.” “I don’t think Brooklyn counts as the middle of nowhere.” “I live outside the boundaries of human norms.”

that's seven, right?

@aspengray tagged me in a 'get to know' tag game:

3 ships you like: miguel o'hara/miles morales, tomarrymort, and uhh the christian grey/anna steele dynamic i invented in my head. they're cute i like em

first ship ever: god. uh. that depends because it's either bella/edward from twilight, or it's... wait no it is just bella and edward, winx... wait no i watched it in dutchl. so yeah either bella/edward or bloom and that teacher guy from season 2 or three. jesus christ what was his deal. he was hot though

last song you heard: i see you by cam ostrom (it changed because i have spent like an hour on this already)

favourite childhood book: twilight

currently reading: the witcher blood of elves by andrzej sapkowski

currently watching: i don't watch series or tv but i'm always in the mood for a rewatch of spider-man across the spiderverse

currently consuming: water with syrup

currently craving: nothing. i just ate soup

@moontearpensfic, @atredys and @goldenzingy46 tagged me in 10 characters, 10 fandoms, 10 tags, to which i have no context but i just assume you pick your favourite of each fandom:

voldemort - harry potter

miguel o'hara - spider-man: across the spiderverse

rikkard ambrose - storm & silence

john winchester - supernatural

bill cipher - gravity falls

rosalie cullen - twilight

geralt - the witcher

sans - undertale

jim - the jrasl original fiction universe

me - irl

in no particular order. i ran out of actual fandoms i like about 5 entries in so forgive me for cheating. link to jrasl for context though, jim is actually a fictional character and i want him to crack me like a glowstick

@alittlebitofharrypotterinmylife tagged me with yet another get to know tag game, but a different one from the previous two:

last song: crossing the bridge by ólafur arnalds

favourite colour: prussian blue

currently reading: sources on extra virgin olive oil

sweet/savoury/spicy: spicy all the way tbh. i have been craving the burn

relationship status: single

current obsession: miguel o'hara's scrumptious tits. have you SEEN his chest. apparently we were deprived of additional ass which is a travesty but he's still so big that i had to seriously reevaluate my previous love for twinks the second i saw him

erm yeah. sources for the images used as text breaks are all me. moi. follow me on @itsevansart or whatever, do what you want. i am so glad i am caught up. i think. maybe i missed a few but we'll see <3

thanks for the tags though! this year has been brutal but i'm so glad it'll be december soon and we can all get a well deserved break. what do you mean check the calendar? what's a calendar?

#very long post #tag game #tagged #i tried to make it humourous #a little bit #have a good timezone