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Person A: Okay, people, like I said to Tonya Harding when she asked me for career advice, let’s break some legs!
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Person A: I need a drink.
Person B: That's the first sensible thing you've said since you got here.
#source: life on mars#thank you for the submission!#incorrect quotes#incorrect quotes prompts#submission#tw: drug mention#mood. sorry about oversharing but an addict so that’s like. wow. yes. mood#*i’m#incorrect quotes ideas#tw drugs
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Person A: You always wanna surround yourself with friends and colleagues who are smarter and more successful than you, right?
Person A: Wrong.
Person A: Why would you ever wanna be the weakest link in the room?
#source: entrapranure#thank you for the submission!#incorrect quotes#incorrect quotes ideas#incorrect quotes prompts#submission
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Person A: You’re so cute when you’re irritated.
Person B: I am going to slit your throat.
#source: tumblr#incorrect quotes#imagine your otp#incorrect quotes prompts#incorrect quotes ideas#classic quotes 
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Person A: You’ve made an enemy this friday.
Person B: It’s tuesday.
Person A: Good to know.
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Person A: You can’t do this!
Person B: Yes, I can.
Person C: I think they meant morally.
Person B: Oh.
Person B:
Person B: Yes, I can.
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Person A, struggling in a fight: Person B, wine bottle, now!
Person B, fighting alongside A: Should we maybe talk about your drinking?
Person A: To hit them with, idiot!
#source: inside job#incorrect quotes#incorrect quotes prompts#imagine your otp#incorrect quotes ideas
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Person A, shuddering in pain: Would you believe… ughh… this is the second time… [grunts] …I’ve been tased today?
Person B, also being shocked: Judging by your personality… [groans in pain] …that sounds about right.
#source: inside job#incorrect quotes#incorrect quotes prompts#imagine your otp#idk man they were really cute. enemies to lovers yk#imagine your notp#incorrect quotes ideas
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Person A: Do you have any NyQuill? I could use a little pick-me-up.
Person B:
#source: glee#incorrect quotes#incorrect quotes prompts#this was so fucking funny like what the FUCK#incorrect quotes ideas
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Person A: Tighter.
Person B, tying Person A up so they won’t hurt anyone: There you go.
Person A: Not every day you meet a woman who knows inline double coin knots.
Person B: Oh, Boy Scouts knows his knots.
Person A: They didn’t teach me Kinbaku in Boy Scouts.
Person B: Where’d you learn it?
Person A: I go to art school.
Person C: Uh, can you flirt on the road?
#source: the imperfects#incorrect quotes#imagine your otp#incorrect quotes ideas#incorrect quotes prompts#this felt SO dirty
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Person A: Let’s see… [looking at statues] We’ve got a pharaoh, Aristotle… Ronald Mcdonald? Was he a real guy?
Person B: Can a God become a man?
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Person A: Wow! You are one resourceful, terrifying little person.
Person B: Hey, that’s the nicest thing anybody’s ever said to me.
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Person A: What’d I miss?
Person B: We almost died.
Person C: Multiple times.
Person A: Ah. Standard operating procedure.
#source: ahsoka#thank you for the submission!#incorrect quotes#incorrect quotes ideas#incorrect quotes prompts#fav#submission
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Person A: You don’t think people can surprise you?
Person B: Not these people. Here, watch this. [looking around] I know what everyone’s gonna do tonight. It’s thursday, so Person C’s gonna leave early to rehearse with their new dance group, Person D’s gonna be going over their weekly budget, and Person E will be attending a “pizza for one” cooking class.
Person E: Tonight’s menu: Pepper-alone-I.
Person B: AND if I run and leap at Person F, they will most certainly catch me in their arms.
Person B, running and leaping at Person F: Coming in!
Person F: No! I’m holding coffee!
Person F: [drops coffee mug and catches them]
#source: brooklyn nine nine#incorrect quotes#incorrect quotes ideas#incorrect quotes prompts#source: b99
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Person A: It's entirely possible to be relaxed and extremely uneasy at the same time!
Person B: No, it's not.
Person A: You do it all the time!
Person B: No, I don't.
#source: mission impossible fallout#thank you for the submission!#incorrect quotes#incorrect quotes ideas#incorrect quotes prompts#submission
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Person A, going through their bag: I can’t believe I don’t have a single clean needle! [takes out a half-eaten cheeseburger with a fried egg] Holy fuck! I guess I didn’t finish that burger after all.
Person C, weirded out: Have you even checked the needle cabinet?
Person A: We have a needle cabinet???
Person C:
Person C: I hate you guys so much. Person A, I helped you set it up! You got it from work, YOU taught me how important it was!
Person A: Yeah, well, congratulations, you’ve met my alter ego. And I’d really like to stay myself today so can you please just get me a clean needle?
Person C, rolling their eyes: [opens a drawer in a cabinet] Oh, fuck. We don’t have a single clean needle left. Person E, this is your fault!
Person E, finally coming out of a suitcase that’s been laying closed on the floor for months now because A never unpacks their bags: YOU GUYS COULDN’T HEAR ME SCREAMING FOR MY LIFE IN THERE?!
Person A, an alcoholic: [leaves an empty bottle of vodka on the crossroad a block away from their house while making their walk of shame at 7 AM]
Person A, to themselves: I wonder if Person C will notice I’m drunk.
Person B: Oh, so, you’re the reason Person D wouldn’t give me a ride today? Because they want to punish you?
Person A: Yeah.
Person B: Wow. Why won’t they just get a drink and chill, fucking Christ.
Person A: WHAT I’VE BEEN SAYING!
#source: me#i fucking cackled so hard like. yea i heard them. but tbh my brain filtered it out as white noise#tw: drug mention#tw drugs#incorrect quotes#incorrect quotes prompts#incorrect quotes ideas#sorry i’ve been talking ab my addiction so much it’s just it’s obviously a huge part of my life and this weekend was truly A Weekend yk#bc like i used to be an addict but not alcoholic. i HATED alcohol. would take a hit of anything to keep me going but never ever enjoyed#being drunk ever. but THEN. i went thru opiate withdrawal. and what got me thru it was rum. and C and E were alcoholics BEFORE they got#hooked on my stuff. so idk i’m enjoying being in the ‘11 am means u no longer have to hide ur bottle’ club#(not rly i know it’s a shit club to be a part of but yk i’m human and they’re human and it’s just human to want to see ur flaws in others.)#edit: oh and pls believe me when i;;; (someone who’s been a drug adddict for 6 years but started daydrinking a month ago;;;)#say that our society’s alcohol culture is INSANE. i can take a vodka shot in plain daylight but i cant snort a morphine pill ?????????#morphine doesn’t get me detached from real life. i could drive a car on morphine it’s NOT an issue at all. but DRUNK? i’ll kill u#seriously istg it just genuinely surprises me SO MUCH. alcohol is a substance that FUCKS w ur reasoning. and it’s the legal one. ???????
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Person A: I’m cold.
Person B: Here, take my jacket.
Person C: I’m cold too.
Person D: What? [taking off jacket] I told you to bring more layers but of course you didn't listen and now- [piling scarves on them] now look, I've got to make sure you don't FREEZE to death and- [taking somebody else's hat] how long have you been cold? You should've said something sooner.
#source: tumblr#incorrect quotes#imagine your otp#incorrect quotes prompts#classic quotes #incorrect quotes ideas
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