ilysumu

[ilysumu]

"i'm in love with you, atsumu," you confess, under the dimness of a full moon, eyes glimmering with hope.

and though you know there is no way, that the sun will love something as small as a star, you can only hope, that there is an exception... and that the exception is you.

atsumu has an unsettling warmness in his chest, upon seeing your glazed eyes and flushed face. you're out of breath, grasping his right calloused hand tightly. he smiles a little, blinking, and completely unmoving.

he's confused, wondering why he can't blast out a simple rejection, or a sorry, or an excuse, or anything to end things right where they are. but upon seeing your hope-filled eyes, he simply cannot let himself break you. not the 'you' that helped him in his english exams or the 'you' that packed a bento for him on days of important matches. he cannot hurt the 'you' who fell carelessly .. but perfectly into his life, allowing him to shine brighter, to live happier, to worry less.

so instead of mumbling a stupid apology and snapping your heart in two, he says, "thank you for loving me, but, please be patient with me."

he thinks you are worth the gamble of love.

"you're rejecting me, huh?" you say, eyes immediately becoming sullen, but he is quick to grab your wrists, before you begin to walk away from him.

"no... i mean, please be patient with me, because... i am not full of love as you think," he trails off, eyes locked on your exasperated glance, "i've only known to love one thing, and that is volleyball. so i pour my entire being into it, i let it consume me until there is nothing left of me except a being that lives for it. so truthfully, i don't know what loving a human really is."

"i can teach you, i promise," you say confidently, hand reaching for his, "please trust me with your heart, just this once!"

atsumu blinks, at your sudden words, but his eyes soften, upon seeing the sincerity of them. he nods, wrapping his arms around your body, pulling you close so that there is no emptiness between the two of you. and you are glad you confessed under the dimness of the moon, light grazing his face softly, eyes twinkling.

there is a warmth growing across your body upon such sudden contact. ah -- you forgot, atsumu miya is the sun, bold, bright... and unequivocally warm. for now, you hold the sun closely, embracing him, because for now, he is completely yours, and not for the world.

the moon watches happily, at the smile spreading across the faces of the two lovers.

#haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x you #haikyuu!! #haikyuu #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #hq atsumu #haikyuu atsumu #atsumu x y/n #atsumu x reader #miya atsumu x reader #atsumu x you #atsumu hcs #atsumu drabble #atsumu fluff #atsumu miya #haikyu x reader

[ilysumu]

"in another life," he says, voice breaking, eyes glossy and cheeks flushed, "don't forget about me, think of me a lot, okay? please, tell your children about me, your grandchildren, keep my memory alive."

"yuuji..."

"i know it's selfish, but please keep me in your mind, remember me fondly in your heart, don't erase me until you are erased from this earth."

you nod, cheeks blazing with tears, "i'll remember you, and i'll cherish you until i breath my last breath."

"i'm glad..." he spoke, softly, eyes glimmering with fondness, "i could love you, even for a while, even for a little."

"i don't-" your voice breaks and heart stops, and unstoppable tears cascade from your eyes, "i don't want you to die."

"you know..." he pauses for a moment, "my greatest gift isn't the abilities i have, or the power i hold... it's you, utterly, wholly... you.. are my greatest gift,"

yuuji's hand is wiping your tears, though, he too, is crying.

"and you are mine," you say, weeping into his chest, your heart burning with an indescribable pain, "i will love you, for as long as my heart beats, and even after that."

your muffled cries fill the room, and itadori too... wishes to be strong just for you... that is all he ever wanted.

"i'm so happy..... i could be here with you, until the very end."

#itadori #itadori yuuji #itadori x reader #itadori x you #itadori fluff #itadori angst #itadori imagine #yuuji x y/n #jjk imagines #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen itadori #itadori x y/n

[ilysumu]

autumn

desc: you love autumn, but you love nanami kento more

warnings: MAJOR JJK MANGA SPOILERS!!!! 

You pursed your lips, staring at Mahito’s corpse in acrimony. To kill a special grade of this level was an accolade itself, but at the expense of Nanami, the one whom you admired the most, was another thing. It wasn’t bravado nor valor, but pure vexation, that you’d experienced as you gazed at his battered body.

The person who once graced you with their idyllic demeanor, was now reduced to bloodied skin lying in a subway station. Mahito’s merciless appetite for Nanami’s death was absurd, in such a way that it was nothing but obsession. And it is truly unfortunate that in his diabolical eyes, his motivation was not but fulfilled in such a riveting fashion.

Nanami’s death is nothing short of valiant, but you doubt that he’d agree. You were aware, specifically in this line of work that losing comrades would be inevitable, but you wished it was not him that you lost. You wished to remain the intrepid and unafraid person that Nanami had used to once describe you – but without his presence everything seems futile.

You remember the autumn you’d met him, when the leaves were browning and sky greying. Jujustu Tech, however, held the same brightness, surrounded by beautiful hues of oranges and browns. You never minded autumn, nor the light chillness it brought. It was a complete sight for sore eyes, temples decorated in orange, reminding you of a beautiful dusk.

But nothing prepared you for what was to come, as you walked into the classroom. Floorboards creaked, as you travelled to the designated area. It’s now, that you realized you were late, after eyes brush past the watch on your wrist. At this point you fished you more perfunctory with your gaze, not minding the aesthetics presented to you on your walk there.

The door swings open, as you discern the started faces of students scattered across the room. But there is one, who seems indifferent, not even sparing a glance at the door nor the loudness of the slam. And you cannot help but stare, as he conversed with Gojo nonchalantly.

He was beautiful, though adorned in the stupid Jujutsu Tech uniform – he was a sight so beguiling that even autumn would be put to shame. Strands of hair pushed back neatly, and eyes settled only on Gojo, your breath hitches at the sight of him, almost as if you were the main character in some sort of romance movie.

People continued to converse normally, but your eyes remained glued on the man who didn’t pay you even a single ounce of attention. The cloying feeling within your chest never settled.

Nanami had always been wiser than his age, offering you advice, though it should have always been the other way around. You’d always been more capricious and spontaneous, unmoved by failures or hinderances, and Nanami the opposite. You supposed that’s why you relied on him so heavily, for he was everything that you were not.

And despite his standoffishness, you’d always admired him the same. You loved him despite the uncertainty and disheveled nature of your career, despite results or any effects. It was a simple purpose for you to try harder – to stay beside him for longer.

There was no greater comfort knowing that in his own way, Nanami felt the same about you. Though lacking in skinship and outward expression, the love that the two of you shared was irreplaceable.  

And as you held his hand within yours for the last time, pooling in your tears, you can’t help but feel emptiness, an irreplaceable malaise shadowing your heart. It was unfortunate that the world must go on without Nanami Kento, and it appeared as though you were the only one who was truly mourning.

There was no undoing it – no stopping his lifeless form to be revitalized as they happen in fairytales. Nanami was gone forever and now, the world appears grey. Still, you grasp his face within your hands, and offer a small smile, because he is finally rid of responsibilities and pressure. 

But, for now, and for the rest of your life, autumn does not hold the same appeal it used to.

#jujutsu kaisen nanami #nanami x you #nanami x y/n #nanami x gojo #nanami x reader #nanami kento #nanami angst #kento nanami #saturo gojo #jujustu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you

[ilysumu]

me thinking about mutuals who I’ve never spoken to and admired from afar

[ilysumu]

utterly difficult - bokuto koutarou

desc: you are in love with bokuto, but it is very clearly not reciprocated.

genre: angst.... PLEASE tell me how to stop writing angst.

bokuto shines with such brilliance on the court that it’s easy to forget his normality. you’ve always seen him as the brightest star in the sky, something that is quite the blessing, a gift to the world. eyes glowing with undeniable warmth and heart blazing with unnerving desire, bokuto koutarou is genuinely the epitome of perfect.

he steps towards you, smiling with such affection that you forget who it is all for. akaashi keiji the man beside you, the man who is bokuto’s first love. uncharacteristically, keiji too is grinning, ear to ear, with such frightening authenticity. the usual collected man seemed to, also, melt at the sight of bokuto in front of him.

bokuto glances at him in bewilderment, as his lips upturn at the sight of akaashi’s grin, accompanied with a light blush.

your eyes scatter between the two males, wondering when the intense third-wheeling will end. you see, you thought it would end as soon as bokuto was scouted by msby black jackals or when akaashi moved away to study — but it never ended. bokuto and akaashi’s love for each other never dimmed nor diluted even with distance.

the uneasiness in your heart, however, hasn’t been conquered. the ardent feelings for bokuto are unescapable, you think. it seems as though there is a broken clock inside you, which only turns near the presence of bokuto. as if your world is nothing without him in your life.

there is a definite streak of craziness in your mind, for believing that attaching yourself to a couple, was healthy — especially when you held such profound feelings for the one of them.

regardless, you wish you were akaashi, perhaps to feel the same warmth from holding bokuto’s reddened cheeks, or maybe to dissolve between his lips. and really, it’s quite unfortunate, that bokuto’s heart beats, not for you, or himself, but wholeheartedly for akaashi. you wish it was different. all of it.

you wish bokuto fell for you, the way he did with akaashi. you wish he looked at you, eyes glimmering with unending fondness. you wish he held you just the same during the hours of the night.

there’s a heaviness you carry with you at all times, wanting a man who is almost engaged, a man who is not yours. but you can’t escape it, stuck in this endless loop. there is no escaping unrequited love.

and as you slump away from the couple for the last time, you promise yourself you are not looking back. well, maybe a peek.

you glance back, only to see the kind of wistful romance you read about in books and manga. akaashi is beaming with utmost pride, mumbling quietly, something about how bokuto has always been a star. you chuckle bitterly as bokuto advances forward for a tight embrace before his lips land on akaashi’s.

they really are the protagonists of the world, you think.

there is a beauty in unrequited love, that regardless of the heartbreak, you forgive the other. it isn’t a crime to not reciprocate someone’s love, after all. nor it is it a crime to be enchanted by another. you love who you love, your heart doesn’t discriminate the way your conciousness does.

and it is about time your heart realised that bokuto isn’t yours, and he never will be. after years of unhealthy longing, it too is debilitated. and maybe it will never cease to beat for bokuto koutarou — but a large part of you hopes it will, for your sake.

it is tiring, exasperating and utterly difficult to love you, bokuto koutarou.

general taglist: @sunareclipse

you can check out my other fics here!

thank u sm for reading & please leave some feedback !!! ♡

#haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x you #haikyuu!! #haikyuu #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu insert #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu smau #bokuto #bokuto x reader #bokuto x you #bokuto x y/n #bokuto koutarou x reader #akaashi x reader #akaashi oneshot #bokuto one shot #bokuto drabble #bokuto angst

[ilysumu]

first love - wakatoshi ushijima

desc: you finally experience the agonising pain you read of in books and see in movies — a breakup.

genre: angst <3

warning/s: unedited ... ?

Just as everything disintegrates, so did your relationship with Wakatoshi. And in unlikely manner, you feel heartbreak’s effect on you – it didn’t cause fissures in the sky nor any dramatics. The heartbreak came as fast as a heatwave, unexpectedly, yet lasting what feels like eternity.

It has been a month, and your heart is finally up to speed with something your head has settled upon. Why is it that your heart aches twice as much? Perhaps it is your own mistake, for you latched onto him with such eager disposition.

The sky is rumbling now, first elucidate of a storm, yet you feel nothingness except for the hole gaping in your chest. You’re staring at the clouds, grey, dusky, leaving the sun in the shadows. There a tight sort of malaise within your heart that even the dark clouds can’t forgive.

Mother Nature chose the perfect day to release her tears, perhaps she too can cry with you.

It’s not long before there are droplets falling from the sky. Drop by drop, rain graces your skin, as you cup your hands to receive it gently. You welcome it smiling and admiring the puddle decorated in your hands. At this point, your emotions have gotten the best of you, as tears escape from your eyes too, joining the rain water in your hands. It’s for the best, perhaps emotional release is your last option.

The rain, as quiet as it is loud, comes and goes as seasons change, reminding you a little of Wakatoshi Ushijima.

Wakatoshi Ushijima, your first love, you reminisce. He brought you such quintessential joy, so much so that the pain of letting go has becoming frighteningly unbearable. Despite the cacophony of Wakatoshi’s “break up” speech constantly replaying in your head, you can’t bring yourself to hate him. There was nothing to hate or even a source of bitterness, he simply wanted to pursue his passion. Perhaps what hurt most was the malevolence your heart held against the thought of letting him go.

You’re sitting on a wooden bench near the bay, which seemed to now be fighting a storm of its own. Water against water, constantly pushing and pulling each other as the wind assists. The scene in front of you looks nothing short of normal, yet you can’t help but dramatize it.

Though the storm causing inconvenience within crowds, you can’t help but seek comfort within in. It was a sign you weren’t the only one in vexation, the world was just as screwed as you. There’s a quiet release in that.

general taglist: @sunareclipse

#haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x you #haikyuu!! #haikyuu #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu insert #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu smau #ushijima x you #ushijima headcanons #ushijima x reader #haikyuu ushijima #ushijima angst #ushijima hcs #ushijima wakatoshi #shiratorizawa

[ilysumu]

wait nevermind maybe it was just the wrong list 😩

hehe it’s all good!! thank u though 😁😁

[ilysumu]

ilysumu’s masterlist!

one shots & fics:

i. heather - atsumu miya you’re longing for someone you can never have, and after the forseen heartbreak, atsumu miya is the only force that can heal you.

ii. defence -  atsumu miya you want to shelter atsumu from every shard of criticism just to see his smile 

iii. finally spring -  atsumu miya after an life-long winter alone, atsumu is blessed to have a spring, now, with you.

iv. complete happiness - shouyou hinata in which shouyou’s happiness is equivalent to your own happiness

v. eternity - shouyou hinata shouyou comes home and you finally feel his warmth by your side 

vi. memorable - shinsuke kita kita shinsuke was worth the wait

vii. daunting - atsumu miya though it is daunting, you’re in love with atsumu miya, and you doubt you’ll ever stop

viii. first love - wakatoshi ushijima in which you finally experience the pain you read of only in books and see in movies — a breakup

text aus:

daily bf text series: atsumu, oikawa, iwa

#haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x you #haikyuu!! #haikyuu #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu insert #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu smau #atsumu #atsumu imagines #haikyuu masterlist #haikyuu masterpost #hinata x reader #kageyama x reader #kita x reader

[ilysumu]

kita shinsuke — memorable

desc: kita shinsuke was worth the wait

genre: fluff,, u know me by now

kita shinsuke isn’t a man of many words, yet his words seem to have the most impact. as you’re brushing his bangs delicately away from his forehead, he’s leaning forward for a kiss. pressing your lips chastely against his with your hands on his cheeks, you grin.

at this moment, kita doesn’t know if he’s embarrassed or undoubtedly in love with you. he’s looking down, face still cupped in your hands with your thumbs graze his feather soft cheeks. and truly, you can’t help but fall deeper into his eyes.

kita has been guarded from the moment you met him, he’d never understood feelings of love, nor had he tried to. he simply dismissed them, thinking it was merely unnecessary. he’d stuck to his grandma’s words, throughout his entire life, until he met you.

you, nothing short of a sight for sore eyes, with your blazing heart, entered his mind with an unexpected urgency. you corrupted his thoughts , yet kita never understood the reason for your magnetic pull. from school projects to tutoring, you continuously became paired with the boy.

if not for such measures taken by the universe itself (or the inarizaki teachers), you would have never known shinsuke the way you do. it’s his eyes, you think, the reason you seem to fall deeper in love every day. or maybe, the way his lashes flutter at the sight of you. regardless, you think the most important thing is kita shinsuke’s soul. though it took tremendous time to unsolve, uncover and expose, it was beautiful, nevertheless. but in the moments of difficulty, it was kita’s rare smile that reminded you to trust the process — believe in him. and so you did.

now, you stand there before him, no regrets, only belief that it was meant to be. kita shinsuke was ordinary, he didn’t shine as bright as miya atsumu or suna rintarou — but you can’t help but appreciate that aspect of him.

but perhaps the thing that you appreciated the most the fact that he is yours, wholeheartedly and utterly. and kita too, has begun to think you’re his soulmate — but has yet understand how to phrase it properly. kita doesn’t want to bother you with formalities, but he wants his words to you to be memorable. so he says it the only way he knows how to, i love you, y/n.

#haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x you #haikyuu #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu!! #haikyuu insert #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu smau #kita x y/n #kita x reader #kita imagines #kita fluff #kita scenarios #kita shinsuke #kita shinsuke x you #kita shinsuke x reader #kita shinsuke x y/n #inarizaki #inarizaki x you #inarizaki x reader

[ilysumu]

atsumu miya — daunting

desc: though it is daunting, you’re in love with atsumu miya, and you doubt you’ll ever stop.

genre: fluff!!!!!! so much fluff!!!

you think he’s the sun personified when he’s on court, the blaze within his heart warming yours. there aren’t many people who love atsumu miya this amount, but you’re glad you’re one of them; for he is nothing short of a blessing.

but, still, love is unknown and daunting, no matter who it’s with. a part of you is constantly pestering you to give up, glaring at you, advising you to be cautious. because a broken heart isn’t so easy to heal as it is to break. you know atsumu can have anyone he wants from models to actresses, and sometimes, your insecurities send you into emotional turmoils.

but the faux blonde seems to always know how to pull you back in, with his grin is blasting at you, only you, from the centre of the court.

these days, your heart knows not to budge, for atsumu miya was worth it. worth all the late nights calls when he was in different countries. worth all the tears when the bed was so empty without him.

but most importantly, he was worth it because he loves you just as much as you love him. and truly, you can see it, hear it, feel it. from the morning whispers while he’s in a trance to interviews where he boasts about your perfection. but he boasts of you, as if he is not beauty himself, shining and dazzling in the brightest light - and for a second it feels as though the whole world revolves around him.

but for the most part, atsumu miya is human too, and he appreciates that you love his ugly too. you love atsumu miya even when he’s whining about his team mates, and even when he’s bursting into tears about his insecurities. and it’s on his most vulnerable days, you think you fall deeper in love with him. because atsumu has weaknesses too, he gets sad too, he too is ordinary.

atsumu too, isn’t afraid to reciprocate this, he will listen intently to your ranting, support you and let you cry on his shoulder. there isn’t one thing that he could do to make you un-fall in love with him, and you think that is beautiful. from the lingering touches to the pre-match ritual kisses, you wouldn’t trade it for anything.

and quite literally, in your world, atsumu miya would be always be the sun, because you’re drawn to him like gravity. he is the centre of your universe — your beginning and your end. and for many reasons, you think love isn’t so daunting anymore, especially when it’s with him.

#haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x you #haikyuu!! #haikyuu #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu insert #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu smau #atsumu #atsumu imagines #atsumu miya x you #atsumu miya x reader #hq atsumu #atsumu x reader #haikyuu atsumu #inarizaki

[ilysumu]

[ilysumu]

suddenly i find myself falling for suna 👁

Certain | Suna Rintarō

summary: Lately, you have been feeling scattered, uncertain. And the sole cause was that your heart seems to be convinced Suna Rintarō owns it.

genre: romance/fluff + light angst? i really don’t know (~_~;)

word count: 4,300+

characters: Y/N, Suna Rintarō & Miya Atsumu + other background characters, but they don’t rlly matter lmao

a/n: stop I really have no idea what this fic even is but I hope u like it !!

i wanna say tysm to adi for being my beta reader !! honestly this fic would be so poorly written and like ?? not even making sense if she hadn’t fixed all my mistakes

pls i love & appreciate u sm (づ￣ ³￣)づ

Today’s sunrise brought a quiet sort of epiphany, something you’d already accepted with most parts of your being. Fissures don’t suddenly tear through the ground, neither does the sun fall out of the sky. You simply still in a brief and muted shock and think, huh. Though a part of you believes you’re too young, too naive, to understand what love truly is, a larger part of you is certain that you are in love with Suna Rintarō. 

He plagued your thoughts no less than twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. When you were young, you supposed that it was tiring to think of somebody that excessively, especially finding it a little bit creepy in movies. But now, it just felt like this was the way it was and always will be— a sickeningly warm feeling consuming your chest when you thought about him. 

To you though, it isn’t excessive thinking or obsession, or even insanity. To you, it was simply love. And even as indecisive as you are, there was one thing you were certain of in life. Something that creeped up on you when you were oblivious and unaware, caging you with a glaring truth— that you wanted to spend every moment in life with Rintarō.

—

A silver car drives passed, causing you to silently cheer under your breath. That’s 12 out of 23 times you’ve guessed the colour of the next car correctly. Rintarō glances at you with a slightly raised thin brow, but you ignore it in favour of greeting Atsumu with a wide smile and a hug. You breathe in his scent— a mistake if you ever made one. Wrinkling your nose in slight disgust, you pull away from the hug. “Did you go for a morning run?” 

Atsumu smirks. “Yeh. Smell good?” You have to dodge the armpit he tries to shove in your face, playfully gagging all the way. 

Osamu shakes his head and joins step with Rintarō. “Idiots.” He mutters under his breath and bumps shoulders with the Middle Blocker in greeting.  

As you run ahead with Atsumu and ignore the burning in your lungs from the strain of trying to outrun him, Rintarō watches you with a keen eye, a small, almost unnoticeable smile playing at his lips. You pretend not to notice. But your heart has a mind of it’s own, and the way it raced at incredible speeds has nothing to do with the strenuous exercise you’re currently getting in.

Left hand holding the stitch in your side, you raise your right hand in surrender. “God I’m so unfit.” You breathe out and Atsumu cackles in response, slinging an arm around your shoulder. 

“He clearly fancies ya.” The faux blond whispers conspiratorially, voice edging your heart to fall deeper and deeper in love with Rintarō— a blinding blanket of hope nearly enveloping you. Nearly.

Poking his ribs, you adjust your hold on the strap of your bag. “Maybe. Maybe not.” You shrug, glancing at Rintarō, who seems to be absorbed in a conversation with Osamu that the wind couldn’t carry to your ears.

Atsumu groans in defeat and throws his hands up in the air dramatically, “Women!” He sounds equal parts exasperated and amused.

His actions tear a snort out of you, Atsumus flair for dramatics never failing to humour you. You look back at Rintarō and Osamu trailing behind you two, and grin when you get an idea. “Last one there has to clean the gym after practice!” You challenge.  

You all know that regardless of who arrives last, you’ll probably be the only one out of all four of you to stay behind and clean up. And you were okay with that. 

Atsumu grins. “Yer on!”  

All you can do is blink owlishly when suddenly he and Osamu are shoulder to shoulder, already so far ahead of you that you’re out of breath from just watching. “Yeah I think I’ll just walk.” A quiet chuckle draws your attention and you smile. “Walk with me?”  

Rintarō raises a brow. “Am I not doing that already?” 

“Cheeky.” You huff. 

—

“Y’know, Y/N isn’t interested in me...” Atsumu trails off, and with a sideways glance, gets affirmation that he has Rintarōs full attention. “We’re just friends.” He clarifies. 

A few days after you realised, you’d told Atsumu that you were in love with Rintarō. And he’d listened as you told him how you would probably never know for certain. Love was something unexplainable and you wouldn’t lie and say you understood it. But Atsumu had really pulled through, he’d truly done his part as your best friend to try and help you cope with and handle these feelings. 

But really, this was getting ridiculous. Neither you nor Rintarō were willing to make a move when it was so blatantly clear that there was some sort of tension between you two. Atsumu felt almost obligated to push you two together, like it was his sworn duty as your best friend to play cupid.

“I’m aware.” Rintarō nods slowly— with a tinge of skepticism on his tongue, unsure of where Atsumu was going with this. 

And Atsumu nearly tears his hair out in bewildered frustration, before sending a helpless glance toward Osamu, who was watching the exchange with clear amusement. It wasn’t a secret to anyone how you and Rintarō felt about each other, it was just that neither of you had explicitly told anyone, barring the twins. Really, it was quite illogical of you two to do that, knowing that they told each other everything (eventually).  

And with Atsumus endless meddling streak, you should have expected something like this. 

‘She likes you’. He nearly blurts out. But a heavy feeling of dread pits in his stomach, and he knows that even if things turned out okay, you’d probably never trust him again.   

“Yer such an idiot.” Atsumu settles on as he rolls his eyes. And Rintarō damn near hisses like a drenched cat— offended beyond belief. Though, his face remains carefully blank. 

“Really? How so?” He drawls in an overly sarcastic manner.  

Atsumu tuts as if talking to a child too slow on the uptake. “In time little one, in time.” He turns away with a poorly hidden smirk and saunters off with all the grace of a man who just won the lottery. He passes Osamu on the way, whose mirth filled eyes clearly indicate he wants to laugh. He refrains from doing so though, and instead follows Atsumu on his way out, twin orbs of bluish grey dancing with laughter.

And Rintarō, not for the first time since knowing him, wishes he could decipher the overly simplistic yet so complicated setter. 

The fact that he thinks Atsumu is the actual idiot between them gives him some respite.

— 

“Tsumu!” You exclaim as you tackle hug him. “Happy Birthday!” You’re giddy with excitement coursing through your veins. 

“Oomph!” Atsumu groaned at the pain of hitting the gym floor with the weight of you on top of him. “Y/N, that hurt.” But then you’re straddling his hips and grinning down at him with bright e/c eyes.  

He frowns in a poor imitation of annoyance, but your own grin widens when you catch sight of a tiny upward twitch of his stubbornly frowning lips. And although Atsumus face expressed irritation, his eyes were smiling.   

At the sound of the gym doors opening, you stumble to get off of him and pull him up with a hand. In the next second, his huge stature is wrapped around you all snug in a bear hug.  

And it’s moments like these when Atsumu knows that he is happy. Just being your friend is enough. His heart doesn’t long for you and he is so so glad he didn’t fall too deep before you made the intentions of your own heart clear. 

Later that day, after he’d had his small birthday party (that he shared with Samu, he grouses), he looks at the photograph you’d gifted him. 

It was of you and him grinning at the camera after he’d helped you paint your bedroom walls. You were both covered in [wall colour] paint and there was the tip of a finger obscuring the camera on the bottom left. He nearly cackles when he remembers your guardian’s reaction to the appearance of you two— angry shock mixed with amused befuddlement. And for the first time, he realises how grateful he is for being able to share these memories with you. 

—

You slightly frown when you see the new girl frantically trying to make herself look presentable after hearing the rowdy shouts of the Inarizaki Volleyball Club in the hall. It doesn’t take a genius to realise that she is interested in one of the members. Maybe on another day you would have approached her and tried to help her. But not today. 

Your paranoia is kicking in because you know that Rintarō likes someone, and that someone could be anyone. And as his best friend, you want him to be happy. You want to help him with his love life. But as someone who is also in love with him, jealousy and possessiveness rear their ugly heads and you can do little but eye everyone in Rintarōs immediate vicinity with suspicion. 

When you overheard him talking about it with Osamu, you’d been in near tears. Finding out the person you’re in love with likes someone else is a world staggering ordeal. You didn’t get to catch anymore of their conversation though as you’d speedily walked off.  

Regardless of your feelings on the matter, that was a private conversation. You wouldn’t want to intrude. 

—

Atsumu stalks into your room as if he owns the place. Chuckling, you sit up from your position in bed and give him your full attention.  

“My dear brother has just revealed a most insightful secret to me.” You look entirely unimpressed. 

“Who died and gave you a few extra brain cells?” You dodge the pillow he tries to hit you with. “Bodily harm? Really?” A scoff. Atsumu rolls his eyes. 

“Anyways—“ He sighs, loud and drawn out. “I can’t say exactly what I know, but,” A dramatic pause as he traces a finger along your wall, eventually stopping to rub his fingers together as if they had collected dust. Drama queen. “I know Sunarin has a crush.” The way he sings his words doesn’t irritate you nearly as much as you make out. But you needed something else to focus on right now. 

“You suck at singing.” You jab. 

Atsumu knows a deflection when he sees one, but he humours you regardless. “One of my few flaws.” He waves a hand in dismissal. 

“Few?” You echo sarcastically. 

It pulls a laugh out of Atsumu and he puts a hand to his chest in mock hurt while wiping away an imaginary tear. “Woe is me.”  

“Shut up.” He fails to dodge the pillow you hit him with.  

And even if Atsumu knows you are avoiding the topic, your obliviousness is truly unmatched.  

—

“What?” This is the first time Atsumu has ever seen you even remotely upset. The expression on your face is so foreign that he has to do a double take to make sure its Y/N L/N. His eyes widen in pure disbelief and against his will, he is headed towards your person to investigate. You’re usually all smiles, ready to give anyone the shirt off your back, so seeing you with glassy eyes and furrowed brows throws him for a loop.

He doesn’t recognise the girl you’re talking to aside from the fact she only started Inarizaki about a month ago and hasn’t missed a single practice. (He shivers. It’s not as flattering as some may think. It’s just creepy.)  

“You heard me.” The girl is entirely smug for all that her eyes are darting back and fourth— skittish and evasive, in a tell that would indicate she is lying and riddled with nerves. Except there was a pull with the force of gravity playing her words on repeat in your mind, making you overlook the obvious lie.

“Y-yeah, I heard you.” You stutter, and Atsumus brows raise in shock. “But you’re obviously lying.” Your tongue feels as heavy as lead, sticking to the roof of your mouth and stubbornly refusing to let you speak clearly.

“I’m not! Suna and I are dating!” She practically purrs and that does it.  

You stumble backwards and your heart absolutely plummets. Even if you know in your bones that it’s not true because Rin would definitely tell you, it still hurts like nothing you’ve ever felt before. 

Atsumu doesn’t even think twice before he rushes to steady you. Looking up with teary eyes, you realise who caught you and then you’re squeezing Atsumu in a fierce hug. And even if he feels like he is almost being crushed, it oddly only served to dampen his anger at this liar.

Atsumu has learned to love you as a friend, and he was fiercely protective of you as a result. And the thought that Atsumu cared enough about you to get defensive for you was intoxicating to the point it usually always brought so much warmth and happiness to your chest. But not today. Not right now. 

Right now, you just want to go home.  

“Tsumu,” you bite your lip to hold back a shudder you fear will turn into a pathetic sob. “let’s go.” You urge. It was a mumble but to you, your words were almost deafening. 

With a glare and a disgusted shake of his head towards this no-name who dare hurt you, he guides you away and towards the gym. The panicked fear in her eyes goes unnoticed.

“You should have whacked her.” Atsumus deceptively cheerful tone doesn’t do much to help you feel better.

“I wanted to.” You flatly reply. But your initial anger had given way to an overwhelming, chest-caving melancholy.

Atsumu stumbles over thin air at your unexpected response, and you giggle. “Stupid.” You jabbed. Yet it sounded nothing like an insult— it was entirely too fond. 

“Why didn’t you?” Atsumu hides his embarrassment in favour of turning you around while he walks at the back of you, nudging you forward. 

You shrug. “Couldn’t.” 

And he understands. It’s just not who you are.

He doesn’t have the full story, but he’ll be damned if he leaves you alone to your thoughts right now. He had seen the devastating defeat on your face just moments earlier, and even if volleyball was his top priority, he could skip one practice if it meant he got to be there for you to see you through this.

—

“Y/N nearly got in a fight yesterday.” Atsumu shares offhandedly while the boys get changed after another sweaty practice. 

Rintarōs sharp and calculative gaze is on him in seconds. “What?” His first reaction is worry— followed by protective fury. “What happened?”

“New girl was sayin’ she‘s dating ya.” Atsumu drags the words out and nearly the entire team flinches enough to take a step back when Rintarō calmly closes his locker.  

“And then what?” His tone is dull and he doesn’t sound nearly as emotional as everyone knows he is. 

“Y/N obviously called her a liar.” Rintarō breathes a subtle air of relief. So so thankful you knew it wasn’t true. But then why did you— “New kid yelled and said it’s true. I honestly thought Y/N was gonna tell her to shut her trap and kick her into next week. But she ended up crying in the end.”  

An inhale gets stuck in Rintarōs chest and he rapidly blinks. You cried? And he was only finding out now? 

“Shit!” He curses and throws on his club jacket. “Go on without me.” 

His emotional outburst would have been a shock had the team not known him as well as they do. You could evoke emotions out of Rintarō— strong emotions. Anger as hot as molten lava, love as devoted as a zealots, pain as devastating as a natural disaster....the list went on.

In his haste to leave the locker room, he misses Atsumus victorious smirk and the matching ones half the team wore. 

Finally. 

“You didn’t make that up, did you?” Kita suddenly asks, a saccharine sweet smile stretched across his face and beady brown eyes as menacing as the Shinigamis.

“N-No! Y/N really cried. That’s why I missed practice yesterday— to take her home.”  

“If you’re lying...” Kita leaves the threat hanging in the air and entirely up to Atsumus creatively wild imagination. 

Atsumu gulped and is pathetically bowing on the floor in the next second— swearing to all things holy that he wasn’t lying and doesn’t deserve a punishment. Begging for a mercy that Kita didn’t seem to have, or want, to spare.

Osamu sucked in a breath before he doubled over, slammed his palms against his knees and howled with laughter.  

—

“Y/N!” You recognise the voice immediately and a smile flits its way onto your face. But you don’t get a chance to return a greeting before Rintarō is holding you in an embrace so tight you feel like you could suffocate. “I’m sorry.” He breathes into your hair. 

Pulling away from the impromptu hug, you slightly frown. “What for?” Quite frankly, there wasn’t a thing Rintarō could ever do wrong in your eyes.  

“Tsumu told me about yesterday.” And you know he’s nervous by the way he’s twirling your hair between his fingers, narrow green, breathtakingly beautiful, eyes focused wholly on his fingers dancing between your strands of h/c hair.  

And it clicks.  

“Hey,” His hyper focused gaze meets your soft eyes filled with so much warmth his heart just kind of stutters. And he honestly doesn’t know what he deserved to be on the receiving end of that look. Cupping his cheeks, you smile. “Don’t apologise Rin,” You smooth out the small crease between his brows. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” 

“But it’s not true. What she said. You know that, right?” Rintarō replies in an almost breathless whisper, his tone coated in emotion he is normally a pro at concealing. But not with you. Never with you.

“I know.”  

“Oh.”  

“Oh.” You echo, followed by a giggle. 

“Y/N?” Curious, you look back into his eyes after your own e/c orbs had drifted to the side to watch the gentle breeze waft through a random patch of uncut grass. 

“Hmm?”  

And Rintarō thinks— this is it.  

He will never get a chance like this again and he’d sulk for weeks if he allowed himself to miss this golden opportunity. 

You take note of the way his naturally squinted eyes dart all over your face, as if scanning it for the slightest hint of emotion. He’s nervous, you think. 

Rintarō takes your hands in his own and holds them between you two, and you quirk a brow at the gesture. A steadying intake of breath is all the warning you get before another set of lips lay claim to your own. 

Oh. 

Oh. 

—

 “It’s about time!” Atsumu throws his arm over your shoulder and leans back a little to make eye contact with you. “I’ve been trying to get you two together for months!” And wasn’t that the truth. 

A sheepish smile is his reply. “Well in the end, it was all thanks to you anyways. If you didn’t tell Rin what happened, I certainly never would have.”  

Atsumu grins. Then after letting out an overly dramatic sigh, he pouts. “Now who am I going to hang out with? He’s gonna steal you away from me!” He turns big brown eyes on you and had he not been in the middle of re-enacting a scene from one of those dramatic kdramas, he would have noticed the figurative horns grow out of your head and the tail that whipped harshly against the wind. 

“I know a guy who has an uncle who has a son who has a daughter who has a niece who has a brother who has a daughter who knows a guy who has a tutor.” Atsumu blinks. 

“Huh?” He dumbly replies. 

You nearly cackle, but manage to hide it behind a cough. “I don’t know about you but I don’t think your grades will let you attend the upcoming practice match...”  

Atsumu nods slowly. Then his eyes widen in comical disbelief. “Oh my— Y/N you have to tutor me!! Please I’m begging you, I’ll do anything!” He sounds absolutely hysterical. “Wahh you need to leave Sunarin right now and help me!!” 

“Sorry Tsumu,” The way his whole body seems to deflate doesn’t make you feel even a lick of remorse. “But like I said— I know a guy who knows a guy.” 

He perks up like a dog, and maybe you need to lie down because is that a tail wagging behind him? You blink. Maybe you shouldn’t have pulled an all nighter talking about the recent developments between you and Rintarō with Atsumu..? You give yourself a moment to wonder how the blond Miya isn’t completely spent after a sleepless night, but ultimately, he does more all nighters than you’d care to admit.  

Akari can surely fix that, you mentally smirk, and have to refrain yourself from physically rubbing your hands together to marvel at your own awesomeness at playing matchmaker. 

“And they’ll tutor me?” And how could anyone say no to the pathetically adorable and desperate look on his face? 

“Un.” You nod with a smile. 

[Years later] 

“Tsumu!!”  

“Y/N!!” 

The turning of heads around you both does nothing to stop the happy reunion. 

Rintarō is trailing behind you at a much more sedate pace and where you normally would have stuck to his side, the overwhelming happiness rushing through your veins makes you abandon everything else in favour of hugging your best friend.  

Your best friend that you haven’t seen for what feels like years. Different priorities and life in general had gotten in the way of you and Atsumu seeing each other but finally, your schedules lined up and you could see him. 

“Oh my go-!” But you’re cut off. 

“It’s been forev-!” You both break off into merry laughter. 

Suddenly remembering Akari was supposed to come as well, you peer over Atsumus shoulder and spot her. You smile at her and honestly, a part of Atsumu is still kinda miffed you and him never got a chance, you never do forget your first love. He huffs, smiling at you. But he loves Akari too, with every fibre of his being and truly, he couldn’t be happier right now. 

The texts Atsumu sends you now vary in context. Sometimes it’s him telling you endless tales about the new shenanigans the MSBY team have been up to lately. Other times it’s him seeking advice— trying to find a way to prioritise Akari while at the same time not putting his career on hold. He wants to preserve what he has with Akari, the aspect of their flame dying out unacceptable, but arguably one of his biggest fears.

But more than anything, he expresses his gratitude. In dramatic tones not unfamiliar to his character, he tells you that he, Atsumu Miya, is truly indebted to you. As through you, he had met the love of his life. 

Akari was amazing, so much so that he’d often tell her that he would never regret nearly failing all his classes, if only because it was his awful grades that led to their meeting. And Akari too would laugh, reminiscing on the drawled sessions teaching Atsumu all the things he had failed to pick up in class as he practically pulled his hair out in confused frustration.

And if he was forced back in time, he wouldn’t change a thing. She made him a better person, even if no one else thought so. Because as long as he had Akari, what others thought of him simply didn’t matter. Her opinion was the only one Atsumu cared about. He was absolutely smitten with her and unafraid to admit it. He appreciated and loved her for who she was— all her idiosyncrasies and odd quirks included. 

You laugh with Atsumu, Rintarōs hand engulfing yours, ruminating about the fond memories you shared with not only them, but the entirety of the Inarizaki Volleyball Club. And you think that your years in high school were the best of your life, because you wouldn’t have known such an all encompassing love without those tedious and torturous years of high school chaos.

You gaze at Rintarō, e/c eyes taking in his features that have only grown more prominent and defined with age. Rintarō was beautiful, and yes, you were blinded by bias, but it was still an indisputable fact. By anyone. The unique style of his hair and his naturally squinted eyes that swam with a plethora of unsaid thoughts, set him apart from everyone else. He was expressive in ways only few could read, and had cornered the market in good looks. Gods, you were certain that his beauty was immutable, that his mask of perfection would forever remain glued to his face even in old age.

Your preconceived idea of love was something everyday life with Rintarō was continuously proving wrong, but you can’t say you hadn’t expected this. Love was esoteric, of that you were certain. It made you delirious and floaty, but ultimately happy. For the longest time, you felt like you had so much love to give, but no one there to receive it. Not until Inarizaki. Not until Atsumu— not until Rintarō.

A small smile tugged at your lips, expression probably hopelessly dreamy and dazed, and eyes gazing at Rintarō through your lashes with all the love you could muster. You looked at your joined hands and felt the urge to pinch yourself, but you just squeezed a little, making sure you weren’t imagining it. Atsumus continuous jabber faded to background noise when Rintarō squeezes your hand back, returning the smile softly.

And you are certain that Suna Rintarō is it for you.

general taglist: @levaa @ilysumu @newfriendjen @iitachvi

send an ask to join my general taglist! (meaning; you will be tagged in all original content that i post. this includes texts, hcs, smaus and fics.)

again, i hope you liked this fic! please leave me some feedback (use anon if u want)— what you liked or didn’t like. i’d really appreciate it as it would help me improve my writing!

i hope you have a lovely day and please remember to stretch. if you’ve been sitting still for a while, get up and take a walk to the kitchen and have a drink of water or something to eat. please take care of your health <33 tysm for reading !!

[ilysumu]

noo why is this perfect 🥺👍

iwaizumi - i’m easily distracted and enthusiastic. i seek approval from others i’m often disorganised. i like to be spontaneous and enjoy the little things that make life better. i’m pretty curious and genuinely enjoy watching nature documentaries. i tend to overthink and get stressed easily.

you + iwa:

day offs and spending the day watching documentaries. hajime using that day as his personal cheat day and ordering takeout for the entire day. having that one drawer in your personal desk just filled with the most random items, but hajime never tells you to clean it up because he knows you have a method to your madness that only you can navigate through. a vase of fresh flowers to start your mornings, coupled with his “goodmorning,” that starts off your day much better than any cup of coffee ever could.

#i’m gonna cry #i love iwaizumi

[ilysumu]

i always get nekoma...... 😏

I did a thing if you guys are interested.

It’s a quiz to tell you which Haikyuu school you belong in.

Options are Karasuno, Seijoh, Nekoma, Shiratorizawa, Johzenji, Inarizaki, Itachiyama, and Fukurodani.

Find it here.

Gonna tag some of my regulars for fun: @dont-mind-me-imjustpassingby @sunareclipse @ushiwakaflaka @snazzieyama @sempiternal-amour @strawhatshepard

[ilysumu]

2. For the tumblr slam book thingy

😭😭 wait what ????

#ilysumu chats

[ilysumu]

heather - miya atsumu

synposis: you’re longing for someone you can never have, and after the heartbreak, atsumu miya is the only force that can heal you

genre: angst + fluff

word count: 5196

characters: y/n, atsumu miya, suna rinato, “heather”

a/n: happy (early) birthday tsum tsum, i love u most. hello he deserves the entire world i said what i said and no i will not be taking constructive criticism. and also a huge thank you to namu for being my beta reader and editor, you made this story so much better <3 i love u so much!!

The wintry sun rose to signify the beginning of a new day, and you wonder if it’ll be the same as always. It was basically tradition now – you complaining about the cold weather and Suna begrudgingly passing you his jacket with a mutter of a complaint that held no bite. And to that you’d glance pleadingly into his tired eyes, on the first day of winter, asking for his unparalleled warmth.

But today, it seemed as though Suna had no jacket to offer – the girl beside him pulling the sleeves of a jacket that engulfed her small frame. A barely audible whisper of complaint escapes your drying lips, creating puffs of condensation as the icy air meets your warm breath. Blowing air into your paling hands, you decide to ignore Suna’s preoccupied glace. Too preoccupied to keep traditions. Too preoccupied to see the warmth you needed.

Today felt more like winter than ever before. In the way that cherry blossoms no longer graced your eyes and the pale pink petals no longer fell on your head (the ones to be brushed off later by Suna). Or maybe it was the absence of his jacket hanging on your frame, the black one with his jersey number plastered upon it.

You stare at the vast sea of dirty white snow surrounding you, taking in the unforgiving season. You never particularly favoured the slippery snow beneath your feet, but you admit that it prettied nature in a way that summer, autumn and spring never could.

Yet the beginning of winter this year, was an empty nothing. It wasn’t the day where you’d marvel at the snowflakes that landed on your gloves or the day where you laughed with Suna pointing out the lopsided snowmen parked on the streets.

It seemed the season bought a storm of constant longing. Yearning to turn back time, to change something; anything, to keep Suna beside you.

Sparse clouds cover the sky some adorned light grey foretelling more snowfall - and you swear she looks more beautiful in this light. Giggling behind a sleeve-covered hand at something Suna had spluttered. Her hands reacquaint with the cold air only to hit his chest lightly. Suna smiles – like he did with you. Softly. With eyes blazing with warmth.

Her silky brown hair shines as the sun peeks from behind a cloud. The harsh, glaring sun which did nothing but point out your imperfections, seems to compliment her beautifully. It was unfair – and you blamed it all on winter.

But you remember nothing blooms in winter. Silently and maybe in denial - you laugh. There’s no way that they’re more than friends. Maybe I still have a chance, and that ‘maybe’ was the sole string keeping your heart from falling apart.

Your thoughts are interrupted by nearing footsteps stomping on the frozen blades of grass and when you turn around, your senses are wafted with a familiar scent of citrus and lavender. You crinkle your nose at Atsumu’s touch, being squashed in a semi-comfortable embrace. A part of you feels that his action is necessary because you’re no longer thinking about the beautiful girl beside Suna and the jealousy eating away at your heart – you’re focused solely on Atsumu’s tight embrace.

“How are ya guys?” he laughs. Atsumu’s pulling off each finger of his woollen gloves, and they’re soon off with a final tug.

“We’re good! How are you Sumu-san?” she smiles, enthusiasm dripping from each word. She’s bright and bubbly even on a 7AM Monday – something about that seems to irk you, teeming you with relentless resentment.

“Good good,” Atsumu distractedly responds, handing you his gloves. Your mind involuntarily drifts to Suna and his ignorance of your shivering body. Alas, he only had one spare coat, what more could he do, … right? Your hands thank Atsumu, reaching outwards to seek a new warmth, but something in your heart hesitates.

“Thanks Sumu, but-“

“Yer hands look like they’re about to freeze off! Take them, will ya!” Atsumu protests, and you grudgingly take them, slipping your hands into the warmth that was previously occupied by Atsumu’s.

Atsumu is grinning playfully, and it takes everything in your willpower to not jab him, “Thank you Sumu.”

Your hands finally feel warmth, and it’s all thanks to Atsumu Miya.

------------

You smiled at her, as she entered the classroom, and she grins back, before comfortably seating herself next to Suna. The fleeting feeling of bitterness swipes your tongue, that it was your old seat. And for the nth time this winter, you can’t but gaze at them, at her.

You begin to wonder why he looked at her like that. Like she was everything in the world and more. It was the first time that you’d thought that maybe you did lose him to her.

Perhaps he was in love with the glow in her eyes, or the skip in her step. Maybe he liked the way her walnut hair cascaded down her shoulders or the way she was so disarmingly unaware of her natural beauty. It appeared that she was kind, beautiful, academically talented and most of all, everything you couldn’t bring yourself to be. You don’t think you’ve ever witnessed such overwhelming perfection in your life.

Soon, you’re Suna’s teasing tone from across the classroom, and seeing the light crinkle beside his eyes – both rarer than a blue moon. All of it, for her.

Yet still, your heart refused to budge, holding onto the pitiful thought that Suna was not yet bound in a relationship. The glimmer of hope motivated your heart, but not without the accompaniment of unbearable yearning. It was the agony and envy that was a constant reminder that you were no longer the only one beside Suna.

Lips pursed, you stare outside the window, chin resting on your hand, as you observe the vast whiteness of the snow outside. It appears that even in this weather, little rabbits refuse to shelter themselves in the cold, leaving tiny indents in the snow as a trail and sifting through the snow in hopes to find a snack. Perhaps that too was the fate of your hungry heart. Famished, and foraging for a love that wasn’t there in the first place, yet refusing to back down even during the harshness and the coldness of the winter.

You smothered a laugh when you realise you were comparing yourself to a rabbit. How goddamn pathetic-

A loud bang interferes your insidiously self-deprecating thoughts and your eyes travel the classroom before landing on the figure who rushes to sit beside you. He pulls the beanie off his head and runs his hands though his sandy hair, all whilst listening to the teacher’s protests about his tardiness with a half ear.

He leans to the left, tapping your nose and smiles. Goofy and big yet decorated with warmth and fondness. “Hey Y/N.”

“Buzz off ‘Sumu, focus on your work,” you groan, pushing his finger away from your face. Yet, a small smile manages to surface.

Mind floating again, you reminisce how adamant Atsumu was to sit next to you when the seating arrangements changed. He was practically begging the teacher – coming up with a plethora of excuses just to sit next to you. You can’t help but smile, remembering the growing frustration flashing the teacher’s face. Atsumu proposed a lengthy list of reasons as to why this was “the best course of action”. And with a last promise to try harder, she reluctantly accepts.

You remember how Atsumu grinned at you, after the promise he’d so proudly made. He looked so happy to be beside you.

--------

Managing Inarizaki wasn’t as hard as you anticipated, with Kita around, they weren’t rowdy, except for Atsumu that is. Your uneasy relationship with Suna didn’t affect your duties as manager and for the professionalism you displayed, you felt a small ounce of satisfaction. The gym was filled with noises of grunts of exertion and squeaks of shoes. It smelt like axe – but it nothing you weren’t already used to.

Usually, Suna would help you set up the nets. But as of late, he was preoccupied by her. She sat there, glossy lips pouted with concentration, quietly listening to him blabber about volleyball. Suna specifies the rules with uncharacteristic patience, teaching her how to serve.

You look away from them, and continue your struggle to reach the top of the net, before giving up and calling for help, “Can someone-“

But before you can finish the sentence, the material is yanked from your hands and put in place.

“Thanks ‘Sumu,” you respond, voice filled with sincere gratitude. Oddly, you find yourself questioning why you’re inclined to thank Atsumu for such a small action. But you hold back, not grasping the concept of your thoughts and settle on a smile which he returns.

You glance back at Suna, watching as he simpers softly at the sight of her attempting to spike the ball. She falls into a fit of laughter, after the incredible fail, and even Suna is chuckling lightly.

And now more than ever, you wish with every bone in your body that you were her.

As practice begins you stand with the clipboard, ruminating the beginning of your friendship with Suna. He seemed to be dismissive when you joined the team as manager, but he eventually warmed up to you.

You fell for Suna as soon as your eyes landed on his dark hair and calculating eyes. And you fell hard. He had always been pretty to you; more beautiful than any human you’d ever witnessed. And as each moment passed, as dusk turned to dawn and as seasons changed, you felt yourself become more and more tangled within his grasp. And soon you find yourself as a puppet that craved only him.

Right now, however, you’re left with nothing but a gaping hole in your heart replacing what was once overwhelming love for him. You think it’s best to rid yourself of your fantasies before she and Suna become official and you have no time left to breathe or heal without seeing a physical reminder of your failed love daily.

Everything seemed to have changed so quickly, yet you were latching onto the past wondering if it was just a sick game fate was playing with you.  

------

It was spring now, and your body can’t help but feel lethargic.

Walking to the lunch table, you see Suna with her in hindsight, dismissing the rough pang in your heart.

Atsumu calls you over and you plaster on a smile, seating yourself beside Atsumu and Aran.

“How you manage to get her is beyond me...” Aran laughs, as Suna smiles awkwardly as his eyes dart to you. It seems that he had forgotten to tell you, nervous of your reaction. He didn’t know how you felt towards him, all that he knew was hearing something of this importance from a third person was likely upsetting. Suna didn’t seem to notice the way you were worlds apart by now, and maybe. he never will.

“Huh?” your ears perk, the conversation sparking interest. Your heart feels like it’s beating at 24395km/hr nervous of the response youre bound to receive.

With a harmless chuckle Aran replies, “Suna is off the market.”

“Oh..” you trailed off, “Congrats.”

Something in your heart just cracks.

There was something that you had forgotten. After winter comes spring, where everything seems to blossom – flowers, trees … relationships. You begin to think this spring is even more unforgiving to you than last winter.

Fate seems to be pulling quite a number on you. And your eyes glossy eyes are a tell-tale sign.

You’re clutching onto the wood of the seat, and almost immediately, Atsumu’s eyes travel to the pool starting to form in your eyes

“Are you okay Y/N?” she asks, concerned look washed over her face. You despise that you cannot seem to hate her no matter how deep your heart is filled with envy. Because she’s so genuinely worried and completely unaware.

“Your eyes are watering…” she points out, as if not blatantly obvious already.

You stole him, you think vehemently. And you want to yell – to do something… anything other than sitting there with tears in your eyes.

“Hey! I just remembered Y/N was allergic to these!” Atsumu pushes the branches of a nearby tree away as if it had personally insulted him. Had it been under different circumstances, you would have applauded his acting skills.

Your hands shook, a physical manifestation of the hurt that gripped your heart, “We should probably go to the school nurse.”

“Oh,” she responds, “I can take-“

“Don’t ya worry about it! I’ll take her,” Atsumu interrupts frantically, wrapping an arm around your shoulder.

And when you’re walking away from Suna, your heart seems to break even more. He was the only person your heart leaped toward. It seemed that strings of friendship that held you two together were cut off.

Yet, still after so much instilled pain, you couldn’t find it in yourself to blame him or her.

You blame yourself for being weak, for being unworthy. You ponder, maybe if I was more beautiful, more-

Your thoughts are interrupted by Atsumu, “It’s not your fault, ya know.”

“If I was pretty like her-“ you’re stopped by Atsumu’s jab.

“You are pretty, Y/N,” he smiles, peering at your tear-stained face, “Probably the prettiest girl in the whole wide world.”

“You sound like a twelve-year-old confessing to their crush.” You scoff, not believing a word that left his mouth.

“Well, they’re just my thoughts, take it or leave it,” he objects, wiping a falling tear from your cheek, “It’s okay if you cry by the way, I’m here, your personal tear-wiper.”

His bold proclamation causes you to stare into his eyes, nearly ripping into a laugh at the absurdity of his words. Yet when you gaze deeper, you can’t detect even a sliver of a dishonesty.

“1000 Yen per minute,” he finishes, and upon hearing that, you let out a giggle between the hiccups.

And for a split second, for the tiniest amount of time, it felt as though your heart was healed.

-------

Days transform to weeks as you begin avoiding Suna and his newfound girlfriend, merely because your heart cannot handle the anguish. It hurts to see them together and so much so that you had no idea that something emotional could physically hurt this bad. Your breath still stutters when you see them and every so often your eyes sting but it is getting better.

You’re getting better.

No longer stuck third-wheeling (or even fourth-wheeling when Atsumu was around). You worked your schedule around them, sometimes even feeling mildly childish for doing so. Still, you knew it was what had to be done if you were to ever heal. 

As per your new routine, you woke up earlier and taking the longer route to school – all to avoid crossing paths with them. At first, it was a chore, but eventually, you began enjoying the beauty of the rising sun that painted the sky with brilliance. The way the bright, burning star, peaked over the horizon held a sort of unspoken beauty.

The birds sung their morning songs and the trees were decorated with the dews layered onto them from the chilliness of the night. The occasional car zoomed by and it was always fun to guess the colour of the car before it entered your line of sight. So far, you had guessed a whopping three out of the eleven correctly. I’m so good at this, you think.

You tilt your head upwards, glancing at the clouds decorated by the sunset, hues of red, orange and yellow painting them so beautifully. You wish you could capture the beauty of it, but a single photograph could never hope to contain such beauty. You knew this from your thirteen failed attempts at snapping a picture on your brick-like Nokia.

Walking on the edge of the sidewalk, you balance yourself, arms outstretched, even wobbling for dramatic effect.

It’s the small enjoyments in life that entertain you now. And one day, you hope you can look Suna in the eye and thank him for making you focus on other things. Suna had forced you to occupy your time and thoughts with him. Now, a large part of you breathes easier knowing that he no longer consumes your entire being like he used to.

When you reach Atsumu’s place, you don’t knock, afraid you’d wake his parents, but shoot him a quick “here” text. Sometimes Osamu joins you, grumbling about how you two always left him out. But you can’t help that you felt more comfortable with Sumu.

“Isn’t it pretty today?” you ask when you see Atsumu from your peripheral vision.

“Yeah,” he whispers, eyes never leaving you.

Alas, your eyes were fixated on the dancing colours spewed out in front of you and you miss the heart-warming gesture.

“Here, let’s take a picture!” Atsumu suggests, smiling and flipping open his phone.

What you weren’t expecting was for him to grab your shoulders and point the camera towards the two of you. Atsumu grins and the surprised look doesn’t leave your face as he presses the button. A candid, if you will.

When he flicks back to the photo, your heart seems to leap out of your chest. Did Atsumu Miya always look that gorgeous?

As you let Atsumu inspect the photo, your eyes don’t leave him. They trail his face out of curiosity and you admire the way the wind softly blows his hair out of his face. 

Atsumu had this sort of unassuming attractiveness about him.

He was devastatingly beautiful, and it was about time your heart realised.

Atsumu had spent the last few months healing you - mending a heart he never broke. And in turn, you’d grown more and more accustomed to his presence. Some part of you felt disappointed in yourself with the fact you’d practically replaced Suna with Atsumu. But a larger part of you was terrified that history would repeat itself.

---------

A blush creeps across your face when Atsumu’s practicing his service ace. What the hell is wrong with me, you fan yourself, a futile attempt to look normal. Atsumu insisted you stay behind with him as he finishes perfecting his newest weapon. Your gaze doesn’t leave his figure and for a second even Atsumu anxious with your sharp stare. You survey his moves and stance drooping as he grew more fatigued and before you can yell a ‘time out’ you hear a thud and see Atsumu hurling to the ground.

A chemical reaction within sparked as you rush to grab the medical kit (nearly tripping on the bleachers yourself). To your vast (and thankful) surprise, it was a mere sprain that just needed some bandaging and an icepack. Still, your hands shake, as you bandage his ankle.

Atsumu wants to huff – not wanting to be babied – but shifts after seeing your worried eyes. Holding back, lips apart, Atsumu freezes under your touch.

“This is why you need to be careful, Sumu,” you scold, pushing the ice against his ankle, “And stop overworking yourself.”

Atsumu grins, “I’m fine thanks to you! Consider the debt for being your tear-wiper repaid!”

A small chuckle escapes your lips as you push your hair away from your face, “You’re an idiot.”

Somehow, with such little words, and even with such a painful memory, you grin like a fool after his joke. And he stares, eyes wide and not sure how to continue with his life after being blasted by your perfect smile. Atsumu hasn’t seen you smile like that since Suna brushed the cherry blossoms from your hair. He truly thinks that it was long overdue, your happiness, that is.

“Gah,” he utters, brain not fully synchronised with his mouth.

Feeling like you pried too far into his space, you edge a little bit further away. Atsumu is in the midst of his third mental breakdown of the minute, but slowly his speech is catching up to speed with his mind. Naturally, he was already sweating from practice, but with you in such close proximity, he thinks his sweat glands are overworking times a thousand.

“We should probably get going now-“

“You should smile more often,” Atsumu says lightly, in a tone contrary to his ordinary – rarely audible.

Endearment and warmth surge through your veins, heart pooling with blissful emotion. You’re staring, you tell yourself, yet somehow neither of you can pull away. You stay like that for a while, mind and body temporarily glitching as you gawk at Atsumu’s words and his glistening skin. Cheeks coated champagne, your heart finally feels like it’s beating again, since Suna.

“Umm, okay,” you murmur, rubbing your arms slightly, and smiling again for good measure.

And Atsumu swears that his heart just catapulted into space.

-----

It wasn’t like Atsumu couldn’t handle a bad day, but when it was a bad week, you can tell instantly by the lack of energy in his voice. You knew when Atsumu’s arm didn’t automatically fall around your shoulder that he was tired. His throat was dry and his muscles ached. He didn’t feel like himself, and it was finally your turn to at least give a gist of repayment for all he’d done for you.

Atsumu had been overexerting himself for nationals, pushing rest and sleep on the backseat. Caffeine and weird-smelling energy drinks replaced his normal diet. But most importantly Atsumu hadn’t been spending time with you. It was understandable – it’s not like you were his significant other – but you missed the familiar warmth in your heart when his arms were wrapped around you.

“Okay time out, Atsumu,” Kita says, realising Atsumu had far pushed his limits by now, “Go home, rest up, and we’ll see you tomorrow.”

Atsumu whined, stomping his feet similar to that of a toddler. Some things never change. Kita and the others nodded goodbye to you, as you also began packing up your things and throwing them a small wave.

It’s almost dark now, some clouds still painted orange from the remaining sun. You loop your hand around Atsumu’s drink before snatching the 4th energy drink of the day from his hands (yes you were counting). Atsumu protests, caught off-guard, thinking, this wasn’t like you.

“You’ve gotta stop this, Sumu,” you spoke, quietly, putting the drink back in his bag, “This isn’t going to help you win nationals.”

Atsumu huffs, again, fully knowing you’re right, but his ego unwilling to admit.

Your eyebrows squeeze together, hands curling to fists and then straightening. Letting out a shaky breath, you pull the woolly cardigan closer to your chest. You hope Atsumu says something – anything, as the silence was growing heavier and more awkward.

You opt to break away from the silence by peering at the stars which begin to glow as the sun fully submerges. The night has a special kind of beauty, even more beautiful than the sunset – at least for you. Even with the surfeit of light pollution from the street and house lights. The sky, completely freckled with stars now, is beauty within itself and it takes a while to pull your eyes away from them. The crescent moon accompanies the glimmering stars dully and your eyes finally gaze over to Atsumu’s figure.

Atsumu drifts in and out of focus, body feeling completely numb and absolutely fatigued. He squeezes his eyes shut, opening them again widely in efforts to somehow gain more energy. With hesitancy, you pull his sleeve, leading him to a nearby seat.

“You’re tired and… well, I – let’s just sit for a while,”

Atsumu seats himself beside you, blinking, mind trying to comprehend what you’d just muttered.

The air was humid – yet still held a sharpness to it. You suppose it was trying to tell you something about the boy sitting beside you. Atsumu’s face held a focused grimace, aimed at the concrete pathway and you wonder if this has something to do with nationals. Hands ghosting his shoulder, you pull away, for the millionth time.

“I can’t help it.” Atsumu begins, “I have to get better, I can’t let myself be mediocre.”

You’re staring at him, somewhat perplexed, knowing the pain of being second best.

“You’re already so good Sumu,” you reassure, looking at him softly.

“That’s just- not enough, I saw Kageyama during the training I had – he was just so, naturally perfect,” his voice breaks ever so slightly that you almost don’t notice. But Atsumu knows you did, the moment your arms wrap around his body.

“Sumu, you’re talented too,” you say gently, “You’re probably the best setter in the whole wide world.”

“Hey!” he perks up, before a smile flutters to his lips, “Quit stealin’ my lines!”

“Who said they belonged to you,” you grumble playfully, crossing your arms and looking away.

“I did! And It’s totally trademarked or whatever.”

You grin at him, as he leans on you lightly, placing his head on your shoulder. He’s glancing at the glowing orb in the sky, cherishing the moment with you.

“Hey, Sumu,” you start, “Promise me you’ll eat the meals I bring you from now on.”

He huffs lightly, to which you take some offence to, glaring at him.

“Fine, promise,” he sighs, interlocking your pinkies, connecting the thumbs.

“And, promise me, you won’t drink those trashy energy drinks!” you almost exclaim.

“Whaaat?? What about two a day?”

“No.”

“Yer not my mother,” he rolls his eyes, facing away from you. Soon, he’s whipping his head around again to voice another offer.

“One?” he begged, eyes sparkling slightly, and lips pouted.

“Sumuuuu,” you groan, “You know how bad they are!”

He looks like a puppy almost, begging you for the treat in your hand.

“Fine,” you murmur, connecting your pinkies once more as Atsumu yelps with joy.

-------

As days turn to nights, and weeks to months, it was winter again. And you had forgotten your coat, again. Old habits die hard, you huff. Pulling your gloves on tightly, your eyes trail forward, stopping at the tall blonde figure walking towards you with a grin and a wave.

“Y/N,” he breathes, slightly huffing from his jog to you, “I figured that-“ a breath, “you’d forget,” another breath, “yer jacket.”

Atsumu’s smile is blindingly bright, as he passes his jacket to you. You’re staring at him in pure awe, cheeks flushed with rose. Blinking and dumbfounded, you take his jacket, putting it on yourself. And god – it was so damn warm.

“Sumu..” you trail off, eyes still wide, “you remembered.”

“Of course,” he replies, slightly kicking the snow at his feet.

“Thank you,” you beam, eyes twinkling with pure admiration for the scruffy haired boy. You notice the snowflakes piling on his hair as he looks down at you. On your tippy toes, your hand reaches the top of his head, brushing them off his hair.

“There,” you say breathlessly, causing a blush to spread on Atsumu’s cheeks.

“Thanks,” Atsumu responds, almost immediately looking away, prying away from your touch.

There’s a lack of shallowness in the winter air, it’s full and light – softly blowing the hair from your face. With the snow falling gently, so naturally you hold out your palms and with a light giggle you blow the snow falling in your hands away. The streets were covered in thick blankets of snow, decorated with little snowmen with lopsided faces and quirky carrots – something about this winter was different, and you couldn’t seem to pinpoint it until your gaze met the figure beside you.

Atsumu wasn’t different, yet something about this made him feel different. His jacket didn’t appear foreign like Suna’s -- it was familiar, warm… cosy. You gaze at Atsumu, reddened cheeks and a soft smile resting on his face and inhale sharply.

His eyes trail your figure, cheeks ablaze at how the sun seems to compliment your face. He loved the way your hair glistened in the sun, how the cold coated your cheeks with rose. Fiddling with his sleeves, he hesitates, before brushing off snow on your head. And you’re looking at him almost immediately, with doe eyes, wondering the origins of the warm fuzzy feeling in your heart.

“Atsumu…” you trail off, looking at the ground, “thank you.”

“W-wha? It was just a few snowflakes, don’t ya worry about it!”

“Not that.” Your memory begins to grow hazy when you think about Suna. Atsumu is looking at you with anticipation, hoping you’d say something.

It wasn’t like you’d understood love properly and you still don’t think you do. It has always been vague and idealistic for you, never seeing it – only ever reading about it in books or seeing it personified fictionally in movies. But, when you were with Atsumu, the line between friends and lovers seemed to have blurred, in such a beautiful way.

“For helping me, through everything in the last year. You helped me heal myself and I wouldn’t be the person I am now, without you.”

Atsumu’s eyes widen as he takes in your words; and soon it’s replaced with a grin. He’s almost involuntarily wrapping his arms around you pulling your body close to him.

He’s so incredibly warm, you think, the smile never leaving your face.

You are overflowing with awe and endearment and complete paradise as you bask in his warmth. You wonder if it’s spring again, heart blossoming with complete and utter happiness. And you’re not afraid anymore – not of rejection, of unrequited love. Because, for the first time, you were a priority.

Heart beating at sickening rates and hands sweating litres upon litres of water even in the chilliness of winter, you’re pulling away. Atsumu is looking at you, gazing deeply into your eyes with hands on your shoulders as if you might break with his touch. His eyes glimmer, hope.

Before you can react, Atsumu’s kissing you – and you’re kissing back. The snow continues to fall quicker and quicker, yet, there seems to be something special about kissing in the snow. It isn’t like what you anticipated, when watching binge watching romcoms – it was so much more special, intimate and more. You’d fallen in love with the way Atsumu’s lips moved against yours the way you fell in love with him, slowly.

And for once you thank the universe and destiny for the longing, the pain and the heartbreak. For you knew that you would not have known such love without it. You’re grinning brightly at Atsumu after pulling away as both of you release shallow breaths. After all this time, what you needed was right in front of you.

“I think I’m in love with you, Miya Atsumu,”

Atsumu rests his cold and calloused hand on your cheek, smiling while gazing down at you.

“I’m in love with you too,” he replies, squeezing the other hand he’d been holding. And you can see the truth in his eyes, glimmering, glowing like the sun, shining like his love. Eyes pooling with tears, you grin like a fool, wrapping your arms around him once more.

Maybe winter wasn’t so bad, after all.

thank you for reading! if you liked this, then please check out my other works here.

#haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x you #haikyuu!! #haikyuu #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu insert #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu smau #atsumu #atsumu imagines #atsumu scenarios #atsumu miya x reader #miya atsumu x reader #atsumu fluff #atsumu x reader #haikyuu atsumu #miya atsumu #suna x y/n #suna rintaro imagine #suna x you #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu angst #inarizaki x reader #inarizaki fluff #inarizaki

[ilysumu]

i like to think atsumu but he’d just call me a pig and leave... honestly probably kita or iwa cuz they wouldn’t break my sensitive ass heart LMAO @sunareclipse

if you had to be perfectly honest with yourself, which hq!! boys would you realistically date/would date you....?