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time with complex trauma is like. i need to do everything all at once and if i don't i'm a failure, even if there's nothing to do. three months ago feels like yesterday but i can hardly remember yesterday anyway. i'm running out of time. for what? i don't know. i need everything to slow down but my life is so stagnant. i can't go to sleep because the day can't end, but i need the day to end or i'll go insane. i'm constantly worrying about the future but it feels like i have no future. i'm running out of time. for what? i don't know. time has no meaning but every second is the end of the world.

or is this just me?

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why have I always been so consumed by thoughts of death

#cptsd

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“Five twelve hour shifts” NO FUCKING GET EVERYONE TO SURROUND YOUR BOSS AND CHAIN THEM TO THE MACHINE UNTIL THEY BREAK

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What used to be sharing on the internet is now stealing. It only really works if people give freely

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A lot of this, while I understand and know of it, does nothing. It’s incomprehensible

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shit sucks

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IT WONT GO AWAY I CANT CLEAR IT ITS EVERYWHERE IT HURTS I DONT KNOW I CANT FIX IT

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When I would break down as a kid I got disgusted looks. Sure learned to hide that fast. Learned to fear any emotion getting through. Learned that people aren’t there to be leaned on for help. They’re there to judge and hate.

#cptsd #vent #childhood #children #parenting #are YOU doing this to YOUR kid?

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I’m always confronted by the raw hatred of this world. I try to avoid it or block it but it always shoves its way in. Always under the guise of being helpful and good.

#cptsd #vent

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NO I WILL NOT DOWNLOAD YOUR FUCKING APP, DO NOT AUTOPLAY THAT FUCKING VIDEO, SHUT THE FUCK UP, SHUT THE FUCK UP, SHUT THE FUCK UP, SHUT THE FUCK UP, SHUT THE FUCK UP, SHUT THE FUCK UP, SHUT THE FUCK UP, SHUT THE FUCK UP, SHUT THE FUCK UP, SHUT THE FUCK UP, SHUT THE FUCK UP

#internet #dead internet #vent

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Centrifugation

#cell paste #centrifuge #Youtube

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13339 S Tracy Blvd, Stockton, California.

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#playstation #content #wordads #straight #wife #no #hole #human emf #emf #human #bread #spraying #HAMAN

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#ghosts #ghost field #wormhole #physics

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Is it nostalgia or have I not formed any strong enough good memories for years