guardianofthedawn

[guardianofthedawn]

*Kung Lao’s attempts at flirting #4*

Kung Lao: Hey Raiden, do you think you could help me solve this riddle?

Raiden: Of course, Kung Lao. What does it say?

Kung Lao: Well, it says we have to add a bed, subtract clothing, divide the legs and start multiplying. *wink*

Raiden: *blushing furiously*

Kenshi: *claps his hands over Raiden’s ears after smacking a gaping Johnny upside the head*

Johnny Cage: *rubbing his head* What? That one was good!

#mortal kombat #incorrect mortal kombat quotes #mk1 2023 #kung lao #raiden #railao #kenshi takahashi #johnny cage #defenders of Earthrealm: meme material #neither of the farm boys are totally innocent #they’re just not crude

[guardianofthedawn]

*Mortal Kombat, in a vague nutshell*

Character 1: What’s up guys, I’m back.

Character 2: We all just literally saw you die. You died. You were dead.

Character 1: Death is a social construct.

#mortal kombat #incorrect mortal kombat quotes #mk1 2023 #mortal kombat 11 #mortal kombat xl #this could apply to nearly all of them really

[guardianofthedawn]

Meet My OC

Figured I should just actually introduce Tora rather than write snippets or have her and Shang Tsung snarking at each other.

I don’t have a picture of her, sorry. I’m not really a visual artist, more a verbal artist.

General Info

Name: Tora Altona

Place of birth: Outworld

Height: 178cm (approx. 5’ 10”)

Hair colour: Orange and black striped like a tiger’s fur (a failed animorph triggered this, her original hair colour was orange)

Eye colour: Gold

Distinguishing features: A series of flogging scars crisscrossing her upper back, a thin scar following the path of her shoulder from collarbone to upper arm, an ourobouros tattoo around her left bicep, three piercings in each ear (two lobe, one helix).

Current residence: Earthrealm

Fighting style: No distinct style, however she does prefer to keep her opponents at a distance where she can employ her weapon and magic to defeat them.

Magic: Elemental, offensive. Would’ve been a battlemage in the Umgadi if her parents had anything to say about it. Also has employ of soul magic (which she almost never uses) thanks to experiments by Shang Tsung involving the Well of Souls (MK11 only, at this stage).

Weapon: A series of enchanted metal spikes called “thorns” that she can engage individually or as a string.

General attire: Three-quarter sleeve shirt, fingerless gloves, cropped hooded jacket, seven-eighth leggings under denim shorts, high-top sneakers, snake-shaped jewellery around her biceps and wrists, three silver chains attached to the belt loops on her left and right hips, thorn pouch fastened to left thigh.

Family history: Once the only daughter of the mercantile Altona family in Outworld who prospered by trading in goods across the realm, Tora is now the only recognised member of the family by Outworld decree. Her mother and father were executed by order of Empress Sindel for financing a failed rebellion against the throne; Tora escaped persecution by proving she was neither involved nor in Outworld at the time. This didn’t stop supporters of the rebellion from threatening her life should she return to Outworld, so she simply stayed in Earthrealm and focused on improving her magic and studying to be a medic.

#mortal kombat #mk1 2023 #mortal kombat 1 #mortal kombat 11 #mortal kombat oc #the guardian’s ocs #mk11 #Tora Altona #my ocs #the guardian’s writing #mortal kombat fanfiction

[guardianofthedawn]

*Deity!AU incorrect quotes, part four*

Liu Kang: Look me straight in my eyes and tell me the truth, Shang Tsung!

Shang Tsung: …you cannot expect me to look into your eyes and be straight.

-

Tora: So Kuai Liang has stupid safety courses.

Bi-Han: Explain.

Tora: One of the questions he asked at the start was “In the case of an emergency, what steps would you take?”

Bi-Han: And how did you answer?

Tora: Incorrectly, because “Fucking large ones” wasn’t written in his notes anywhere.

-

Mileena: Let us get into the spooky season and make ghosts!

Kitana: I have been informed that what you want to do is murder and it is illegal.

-

Soul: *singing* Sugar pie, honey bunch-

Liu Kang: *hastily closes door, looks around, then opens it again*

Another Soul: *also singing* You know that I love-

Liu Kang: *hastily closes door again* You?

Shang Tsung: *huffing* Yes.

Liu Kang: Antidote?!

Tora: *conjuring flames* Working on it!

-

*at their regular spa meet*

Shang Tsung: So what is your self care routine, my dear?

Tora: “Keep going, bitch” but I say it to myself in various languages.

-

Reiko: What do you think Havik will do for a distraction?

Rain: He will probably make some loud noises or throw rocks. That is what I’d do.

*distant explosions*

Rain: …or he could do that.

#mortal kombat #incorrect mortal kombat quotes #mk1 2023 #mortal kombat au #deity au #liu kang #shang tsung #liushang #bi han sub zero #mortal kombat oc #sub zero x oc #mileena #kitana #reiko #mk1 rain

[guardianofthedawn]

Liu Kang: Will someone please tell me what is going on here?

Kenshi: It’s complicated, Lord Liu Kang, but let’s just say Cage -

Liu Kang: *holds up a hand* I understand, Kenshi. Please forget that I asked.

#mortal kombat #incorrect mortal kombat quotes #mk1 2023 #liu kang #kenshi takahashi #johnny cage #defenders of Earthrealm: meme material

[guardianofthedawn]

“May I please draw your OC?”

Reblog this message if you encourage anyone that wants to draw your OC to do so.  No need to ask for permission in advance.

Go for it.  Draw my OC.  If you want, I’ll even give you reference posts.  Go to town on it.

You are welcome to draw my OC and surprise me with the result.  Seriously.  In fact, I encourage it.  I will proudly display whatever it is you submit to me regarding my OC.  There is a chance that I will squeal about it for several days.

Even if you feel you aren’t good at whatever artistic adventure it is you do, please feel free to submit it to me.  I want to see what you have done.

[guardianofthedawn]

*Lessons in Earthrealm culture, part six*

Mileena: So if I were to bite something and I die, that item is poisonous. But if it were to bite me and I die, then it is venomous?

Syzoth: What if it bites me and it dies?

Kitana: Then you would be poisonous, much like you are now Syzoth.

Mileena: What if it were to bite itself and I die?

Johnny Cage: In Earthrealm we call that voodoo, Your Loveliness.

Syzoth: What if it were to bite me and something else dies?

Johnny Cage: That’s called correlation, not causation.

Mileena: What if we were to bite each other and neither of us dies?

Johnny Cage: That’s just kinky.

Kitana: Oh gods…

#mortal kombat #incorrect mortal kombat quotes #mk1 2023 #johnny cage #kitana #mileena #syzoth #mk1 reptile #what happens in outworld #I’d like to think Kitana looks after the brain cell most of the time

[guardianofthedawn]

*during the entire course of the story*

Kenshi: *does 99% of the work*

Kung Lao: *has no idea what’s going on*

Johnny Cage: *says he’ll help but he doesn’t, really*

Raiden: *disappears shortly after it starts and doesn’t appear until the very end*

#mortal kombat #incorrect mortal kombat quotes #mk1 2023 #johnny cage #kenshi takahashi #kung lao #raiden #defenders of Earthrealm: meme material #is this or is this not the whole story?

[guardianofthedawn]

Kenshi: I fell -

Johnny Cage: From heaven?

Kenshi: No, I’ve literally fallen -

Johnny Cage: In love with me from the moment you met me?

Kenshi: CAGE, MY ARM IS BROKEN!

Johnny Cage: Okay, but do you think I’m pretty? Be honest, Ken-Doll.

#mortal kombat #incorrect mortal kombat quotes #mk1 2023 #johnny cage #kenshi takahashi #johnshi #somebody save Kenshi

[guardianofthedawn]

#the guardian’s thoughts #fanfiction #mk1 2023 #mortal kombat au #deity au #story writing

[guardianofthedawn]

Johnny Cage: Son of a -

Liu Kang: Watch your language.

Johnny Cage: Fun…

Liu Kang: *sighs* You’re close.

Kenshi: Frick!

Liu Kang: Don’t test me…

Raiden: Shoot dang it!

Liu Kang: *groan*

Kung Lao: …ass.

Liu Kang: *inhales sharply*

#mortal kombat #incorrect mortal kombat quotes #mk1 2023 #johnny cage #kenshi takahashi #kung lao #raiden #liu kang #defenders of Earthrealm: meme material

[guardianofthedawn]

Does anyone else go through the Krypt in MK11, and upon the discovery of a certain piece of equipment to help you keep going, hear “Oh my God, they killed Kenshi!” to the tune of that famous line from South Park?

No?

Just me?

…I’ll see myself out.

#mortal kombat #mortal kombat 11 #mk11 #the guardian’s thoughts #it’s not going to leave my head now

[guardianofthedawn]

(How to make Johnny shut up, episode six)

*at breakfast*

Johnny Cage: Is there a cactus where your heart should be?

Kung Lao: What’s up your ass this morning?

Kenshi: *coming into the room* Hey.

Kung Lao: Huh, never mind.

Johnny Cage:

#mortal kombat #incorrect mortal kombat quotes #mk1 2023 #johnny cage #kenshi takahashi #kung lao #johnshi #defenders of Earthrealm: meme material #Johnny’s probably irritated because he can’t sit comfortably

[guardianofthedawn]

Raiden: Kenshi, the printer ran out of ink printing Johnny’s birthday invitations!

Kenshi: What were they meant to say?

Raiden: “Johnny Cage’s birthday”.

Kenshi: What do they say at the moment?

Raiden: “Johnny Cage’s bi”.

Kenshi:

Kenshi: It works either way, to be honest with you.

#mortal kombat #incorrect mortal kombat quotes #mk1 2023 #kenshi takahashi #raiden #defenders of Earthrealm: meme material #Kenshi was in charge of the invitations #that’s why he’s not bothered about the writing

[guardianofthedawn]

*Lessons in Earthrealm culture, part five*

Kitana: What is a synonym?

Johnny Cage: It’s a pair of words or phrases that mean the same thing.

Mileena: Could you provide an example?

Johnny Cage: Of course, Your Loveliness. There’s “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned” and “Sorry daddy, I’ve been naughty”, there’s -

Kenshi: Good news! We’ve cancelled Earthrealm English!

#mortal kombat #incorrect mortal kombat quotes #kitana #johnny cage #mileena #kenshi takahashi #what happens in outworld #defenders of Earthrealm: meme material #mk1 2023

[guardianofthedawn]

Alright, I’ve officially completed the MKX storyline, and I now understand the link between this game and MK11.

…still wanna hug all the Kombat Kids though. Kung Jin is still my favourite.

(I won’t leave spoilers here just in case but I do have Thoughts; if you’d like to chat about MKX or…anything, really, leave me an ask!)

#mortal kombat #mortal kombat xl #mortal kombat 11 #kombat kids #cassie cage #jacqui briggs #takeda takahashi #kung jin #no spoilers here #ask me anything #the guardian’s thoughts

[guardianofthedawn]

*Kung Lao’s attempts at flirting #3*

Kung Lao: So how’s the most beautiful person in the world today?

Raiden: *blushing* I-

Johnny Cage: *interrupting* Kenshi’s perfect today, thanks for asking.

#mortal kombat #incorrect mortal kombat quotes #mk1 2023 #kung lao #raiden #railao #johnny cage #kenshi takahashi #johnshi #Kung Lao nearly beheaded Johnny after that