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#izzy hands #it's always about izzy hands with me

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Picture this: Stede developing a thing for Izzy's voice.

The whole thing happens when they start sailing together, without Ed who's stayed behind to run the inn/became a fisherman/whatever. Now that Izzy grew into their little family crew, he's a lot more relaxed, which makes for a lot less yelling and a lot more simple conversations, friendly teasing etc. They manage to make him laugh out loud too, which is both scary and fantastic.

As captain and first mate, he and Izzy start actually communicating with one another and Stede comes to realize he really, really enjoys the rasp of Izzy's voice and how come he hasn't realized how pleasant it was before?

Which turns into Stede having some very nice dreams with said voice whispering filth into his ear (followed by a crisis, because wtf, it's Izzy), and what do you know, he's getting turned on listening to Izzy speak in real time.

#stizzy #ofmd #our flag means death #gentlehands #izzy hands #stede bonnet #that wonderful raspy voice whispering filth 👀 #stede would combust immediately

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thinking about their peaceful morning in the cottage

#good omens #good omens art #innefable husbands #aziracrow #aziraphale #crowley #I'm melting ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

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i'm perfectly fine, thank you

#iwtv #interview with the vampie spoilers #vampire armand #OMG I jumped when I saw this #😱 😱 😱😍😍😍

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So, after Ed catches Stede & Izzy, he proceeds to give Stede some very wrong advice on Izzy. Stede does the opposite of everything Ed says and wins Izzy's heart! This is all @izzymarksthespot 's fault! :) gloriously so!

It's completed now, folks! Go get it! Kudos and comments keep me alive!

#izzy hands #ofmd #our flag means death #ao3 #fanfic #stede bonnet #gentlehands #stizzy

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sad stizzy flavour where Ed wants to keep Izzy in his front yard like a dead pet dog - but after the crew has gone and it's just the three of them left on their little island, Stede quietly asks what IZZY would want.

When Ed remains insistent (not because he's a bad guy! Dude's just grieving!) Stede sneaks out in the middle of the night to dig Izzy up and lay him to rest at sea.

Only obviously, Izzy has a Mermaid Moment and comes to life in Stede's arms.

#steddyhands #stizzy #izzy hands #stede bonnet #edward teach #that was great #and only slightly sad #everything is good now that Iz is alive again

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Psst @izzymarksthespot it looks like I managed to find the screencaps I needed to make the Stizzy cuddling manip. Here it is:

Second manip on what I suspect might be a series. A series that I should call 'They didn't let Izzy be happy so I will do it myself, dammit', but that for brevity purposes I will simply call 'Happy Izzy'.

#izzy hands #stede bonnet #ofmd #our flag means death #stizzy #gentlehands #photo manip #I almost gave up on this one #but I didn't because Izzy deserves some cuddling #Happy Izzy

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Steddyhands fans got fucking FED in season 2. Shit stizzy fans got fed. Blackhands (is that the ship name? Ed x Izzy) fans got traumatized tho.

#steddyhands #blackhands #stizzy #ofmd #so true!

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It's like the usual 'glow up to impress your crush' thing, but instead of fancier clothes, dancing lessons and seductive looks, the crew teaches Stede how to disembowel a person with a little knife and how to set a ship ablaze in less than a minute.

My turn today. So what if...

Stede and Izzy eventually start fucking, but despite Stede's repeated attempts at romance, Izzy ignores him and keeps it casual. He never stays the night, never kisses him in front of the crew, doesn't even let Stede hold his hand. And Stede doesn't know why (maybe he really doesn't like me like that?) until one day when a raid goes badly and Stede almost gets killed, a drunk Izzy spills the beans to Jim:

"Never get attached, it's not worth it, nobody lives long in this business. Especially good people, they always go first."

And Stede overhears it, of course. And the next day he starts working harder in his captain lessons with Izzy, asks Jim to teach him to use knives, asks Wee John to teach him everything about gunpowder and the rest of the crew helps him with guns, cannons and yes, even fist fights, and he gets so much better at fighting that eventually he is the one who saves Izzy's life in a raid.

And Izzy has to fight the urge to fuck him right then and there in front of the crew and the hostages, because that was the hotest thing he has seen in a long time.

(he resists until they are back on the Revenge, that's all, they leave the crew with the loot and block the door and don't get out until the next day)

(and Stede is sort of badass now, but he is still a gentleman and insist on being soft and romantic to Izzy and the man simply blushes and lets him)

#stizzy #gentlehands #stede bonnet #izzy hands #and it works SO WELL on Izzy #of course izzy has competence kink

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My turn today. So what if...

Stede and Izzy eventually start fucking, but despite Stede's repeated attempts at romance, Izzy ignores him and keeps it casual. He never stays the night, never kisses him in front of the crew, doesn't even let Stede hold his hand. And Stede doesn't know why (maybe he really doesn't like me like that?) until one day when a raid goes badly and Stede almost gets killed, a drunk Izzy spills the beans to Jim:

"Never get attached, it's not worth it, nobody lives long in this business. Especially good people, they always go first."

And Stede overhears it, of course. And the next day he starts working harder in his captain lessons with Izzy, asks Jim to teach him to use knives, asks Wee John to teach him everything about gunpowder and the rest of the crew helps him with guns, cannons and yes, even fist fights, and he gets so much better at fighting that eventually he is the one who saves Izzy's life in a raid.

And Izzy has to fight the urge to fuck him right then and there in front of the crew and the hostages, because that was the hotest thing he has seen in a long time.

(he resists until they are back on the Revenge, that's all, they leave the crew with the loot and block the door and don't get out until the next day)

(and Stede is sort of badass now, but he is still a gentleman and insist on being soft and romantic to Izzy and the man simply blushes and lets him)

#izzy hands #stede bonnet #stizzy #gentlehands #ofmd #our flag means death #izzy doesn't want to get attached #because he thinks Stede isn't going to live long #in this verse he doesn't know Stede is the luckiest man alive yet

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On today's episode of Stizzy flavors I enjoy I give you: severely sick/injured Izzy, delirious with fever, softly and brokenly calling out for Stede.

#izzy hands #stede bonnet #stizzy #gentlehands #ofmd #our flag means death #Stede is by his side in an instant #carding his fingers through izzy's hair to calm him down #just went out to fetch some water and a clean cloth for a sec #but he is here now

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Stizzy where Ed leaves and Izzy gets with Stede, not because he *loves him* or for revenge, he just hates waste.

Ed didn't finish him and he's not above some tasty leftovers when he's drunk and hungry horny at 1am.

#stizzy #gentlehands #izzy hands #stede bonnet #suuure of course it's nothing like *coughs* love #it's just practical #and distracted horny Bonnet is a risk #Izzy has to take care of that #right?

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Shine Bright Hold Tight/Sharp & Surehoofed x

#izzy hands #ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd fanart #he's so very pretty

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Repeat after me:

It is OKAY to have content preferences and to be uncomfortable with certain ships or topics, controversial or not. It is OKAY to distance yourself from such content and block certain tags or creators.

It is NOT OKAY to actively hate and harass real people for creating content of fictional characters that features things that make you uncomfortable.

#fandom culture #don't like don't read #the most basic rule ever #and still people seem to not undertand it #please grow up

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After the Storm

So you remember that fic I owed you @izzymarksthespot ? Well, here it is (the part 1 at least), and there is a bath! Or there will be. Well, check and see 😉

(As usual, set some time after 2x07, Ed is happy being a fisherman somewhere and there was no Zheng fight and no Prince Ricky attack. As usual too, no warnings needed, just a happy time for everybody.)

Thank goodness the storm hadn’t hit them by surprise, Stede thought, but still, after many hours fighting to keep the Revenge afloat, the crew was exhausted.

They had managed to get the ship ready and the sturdy vessel had resisted the huge waves and the high winds, but it had been a tough fight and now that the skies had finally cleared, the whole crew was trying to warm up on deck while they filled their empty stomachs with a noodle soup, the recipe that Roach had learned from Zheng’s cook and that they all loved.

Stede was helping Roach bring the last bowls of soup from the galley and when he looked around the deck his eyes immediately stopped on Izzy, who was very noticeably looking the worse for wear. He was as pale as a ghost and even though he was wrapping his arms around himself trying to get warm, the drenched clothes he was still wearing were clearly not helping the situation.

“Izzy!” Stede said as he rushed to his side. “My goodness, are you all right?”

“I’m fine, captain,” he replied, but his voice sounded too weak to be convincing.

Stede raised his hand to touch Izzy’s forehead, but it was immediately slapped away by the freezing cold hand of the annoyed first mate.

“He isn’t even eating his soup,” Frenchie snitched as soon as he swallowed the mouthful of noodles he had been hungrily chewing.

“Frenchie, mind your own business!” Izzy barked at him.“I’m just… not hungry right now,” he added weakly.

“That will not do, you have to warm up or you’ll catch pneumonia, Israel,” Stede chastised him. “Don’t we have another blanket around here?” he added looking around.

They had brought a few blankets while Roach cooked the soup for them, but apparently there weren’t enough for everybody. Oluwande, Jim and Archie were sharing one, as were Lucius and Pete, but probably the obtuse first mate had decided he didn’t need one. Well, he obviously needed it and Stede knew where to find quite a few.

He was about to go to his cabin to fetch a blanket when he saw a shiver shake Izzy’s frame. The man looked fragile and Izzy Hands never looked fragile, it was a disturbing sight.

“Come with me, Izzy,” Stede said. “I have some spare blankets in my cabin. You also need to get out of those wet clothes immediately.”

A chocking sound distracted Stede for a moment. Apparently Lucius had found some trouble while eating his noodles and Pete was hitting him firmly on the back while stifling a laugh for some reason.

“Bonnet, I don’t need-“

“That’s an order, Izzy,” Stede replied, using his best captain-voice. “I won’t have my first mate dying from a cold out of stubbornness. So let’s go, chop-chop.”

Stede took Izzy’s untouched bowl of soup and with a last warning look at Izzy, he started walking towards his cabin. With a resigned sigh, the first mate stood up slowly and started following him, limping lightly.

Before closing the door to the deck behind him, Stede took a last look at the rest of the crew and noticed that not only Frenchie, but also Lucius, Pete and Fang were smiling encouragingly at him and giving him the thumbs up. That was a bit disconcerting. Had they thought he wouldn’t care about Izzy when he clearly looked so poorly? Their animosity had died long ago and Stede had thought it was obvious he was quite fond of the angry little man now.

As he walked down the corridor towards his cabin, he had another worrying thought: what if Izzy himself didn’t think Stede cared about him? That surely couldn’t be, right? He had to know he did care… or maybe he thought Stede still held a grudge against him?

Stede didn’t have much time to dwell on it because they had already reached the cabin and Izzy was standing awkwardly in the middle of the room while shivering noticeably.

A warm bath would do wonders for him, Stede thought. And Roach probably still had the fire going after making the soup so it wouldn’t take too long to warm some water.

And indeed it didn’t take long. Stede asked Roach to fill the bathtub and when some time later the cook told him it was ready Stede still hadn’t managed to convince the stubborn man of the need of a hot bath. Izzy had wrapped himself in one of the blankets and insisted it was all he needed and Stede had to use all his authority to stop him from leaving the room.

“Now the bath is ready, Izzy,” Stede decided to change tactics. “You wouldn’t want to waste resources, would you?”

“Maybe the captain could use it then,” Izzy hit back. “Since it’s actually the captain’s bathtub.”

“Well,… we can both use it!”

Izzy’s eyes widened in surprise and at his back, Roach had a coughing fit. Smoking was such an awful habit, Stede thought as he turned to see the cook hitting his chest while still holding his lit cigarette.

“I’ll be going now,” the cook wheezed as he walked towards the door.

“Yes, thank you for everything, Roach,” Stede replied politely.

Turning his attention back to Izzy, Stede noticed the first mate was now staring at him with a strangely guarded expression on his face.

“As I was saying,” Stede continued. “Even thought the bathtub is in my quarters, there’s no reason why any other member of my crew can’t use it if needed. And you need it, Izzy, don’t try to tell me otherwise.”

Izzy blinked slowly and seemed to falter.

“Please, Israel,” Stede said softly. “Just… if not for yourself, could you do it for my peace of mind?”

Izzy’s shoulders sagged in defeat. He nodded lightly and Stede guided him towards the bathroom before he could change his mind.

TBC

#izzy hands #stede bonnet #stizzy #gentlehands #ofmd #our flag means death #fanfic #hurt/comfort #and silly fun #nothing else

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Ph: Jay Dimmock

#con o'neill #photo #OMG #thank you thank you thank you so much for posting this

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okay. Okay so. This is ridiculous but. The idea won’t get out of my brain ever since I started rewatching an old sitcom:

Izzy Hands as The Nanny

no no hear me out.

Izzy works in his bf Ed’s tailor shop (vs a bridal shop cuz even in an au I can’t stretch to see Izzy doing anything bridal for a living) until Ed wants to give Jack Rackham Izzy’s job and oh also he wants to start dating Jack too. So Izzy is out of a job and a relationship that’s been in the pre-engagement state for years. Izzy gets a part time job selling fine chef’s knives door-to-door (instead of makeup. Because it’s a good excuse to slip Steak Knife into the story and also because my bestie used to sell knives and I love him)

Izzy happens to show up at the Bonnet mansion household around the time they were expecting their newest nanny to come for an interview. Izzy thinks he is being invited in to give his sales pitch. In classic sitcom misunderstanding it takes a while for Stede to realize that Short Dark and Handsome here is not actually a manny with a resting rage face.

But by then Izzy has had a chance to interact with Stede’s kids and his household staff. Stede has fondness for anyone who is kind to his kids and has a secret awe for anyone who seems to get along with less awkwardness than he himself does. Izzy just talks to the kids like they are adults because he doesn’t know how else to deal with tiny people except to treat them like big people. Alma appreciates it.

The rest of the household (Buttons as the butler? Lucius as a PA? Roach as chef, Jim as driver, etc you get the idea) are surprisingly on board with hiring the guy who came to the door with a briefcase full of knives to provide daily childcare. He’s got no experience or qualifications but Izzy clearly does not take shit from anyone and won’t get scared off in under two months like the last nanny.

and look, the pay is really good. Even if Mr Bonnet is supremely annoying, he pays well and the kids seem fine, old enough to entertain themselves most of the time and not be very interested in interacting with some greying old man. He can get them to school and home from school, and deal with the occasional snotty cold or scraped knee for such a huge salary, with room and board on top! plus staying in the rich part of town cuts down on the chances of running into Ed and/or Jack.

So Izzy moves into the mansion and chases the Bonnet children around for a living. (Izzy quickly learns that the kids are still young enough to love playing pirates, something Stede started with them but has been too busy to do. Izzy, wearing an eye patch and brandishing a plastic sword, taunts Stede into joining their play by challenging him to duel (yes Stede smacks his ass with his sword))

obvious stede would never get full custody lol so there’s plenty of time when the kids are with their mother and Stede’s only company in the big empty house is Izzy Hands 😮😀

#stizzy #gentlehands #Izzy hands #stede bonnet #modern au #when you think you have seen all the modern aus #you find a great new one