Hi, I'm Eggs 🅱enjamin or Ghost Fork whaddup, I'm here to post my headcanons and incorrect quotes for the IT fandom and pretty much nothing else. I do art btw, @ghosty.ghost.fork on instagram. Also I'm lowkey disappointed that I couldn't use comic sans like wtf tumblr.
1. Â Â Allison - got sent into another decade while mute and decided to fuggin fight racism anyway, biggest pp energyÂ
 2.   Vanya - can literally control energy but was also briefly attracted to a guy named Lennard so not nr 1Â
3.   Klaus - single handedly won over the entire fandom despite being done so dirty by the  writers room, also he fought in Vietnam that one time but that’s whateverÂ
4.   Ben - Can summon fucking demons and died because of one, put up with klaus’ wacc decisions for 10+ years, but simped for a girl he’d never talked to in season 2 so also not nr 1Â
5. Â Â Diego - a bottom, but didnt simp for lila so he maintained some pp energyÂ
6.   Five - went through puberty twice, simps for a doll, didn’t stan aj smh, very small pp energy.Â
 7.   Luther - simps for his sister, got klaus killed, locked up his other sister when she was having a mental break down, left his pp energy on the moon, gorilla steroids probably made his actual pp microscopic as his metaphorical one
you’re correct, so correct, you will always be correct.
UMBRELLA ACADEMY SIDE-CHARACTERS’S PP ENERGY RATED
Raymond chestnut - leading a human rights activism group automatically gives you enormous pp energy
Dolores - dealt with Five’s shit, for 30 years. Absolute war hero
AJ Carmichael - he’s a fish but his metaphorical pp is grand i’m telling you, he demoted the handler with class and everything. Only thing not giving him the highest is his stupid ass last name
Elliott - helped his kidnappers out and offered them jello, was connecting dots like a pro before even meeting any of the main characters,  but sir why does ur name have 2 t’s you’re too epic to have lame enough parents to spell your name like that
Hazel & Chacha - Literal badass assassins, they’re lower on the list because they wore furry masks that one time
Sissy Cooper - she’s a cottagecore lesbian what else is there to say
Herb/Agnes - legends and sweethearts, helped everyone out like fucking bosses
Eudora Patch - dealt with Diego’s bullshit like a fuggin bosssssss, kinda boring tho, has casual big pp energy
Grace - a robot so no pp but her aesthetic is powerful enough to put everybody’s else’s pp energy to shame
The handler - captured, emotionally tormented and vored AJ, we do not stan, has cool clothes but vore gives everyone -1000 pp points i don’t make the rules
Lila pitts - she’s too op she’s gotta be compensating for something
The Swedes - also badass assassins but one of them is literally named Shoulder & they messed up their one Speaking Swedish Scene with absolutely horrendous American accents, like barely distinguishable as swedish, that’s how bad it was, and it took place in a sauna - which is a  f u c k i n g  Norwegian thing or something, not swedish, smh
Sir Reggie - Not even human probably doesn’t even have a pp, did insult Luther though so kudos
Pogo - boring, probably never worked on his pp energy a day in his life
Leonard Peabody - Not boring but extremely lame, just look at that name, Leonard was already bad enough but Peabody? murder how many ppl you wanna buddy but with a name like that you’re never gonna be less name
Reddie AU where Richie and Eddie are both famous comedians. Richie is practically Bo Burnham and Eddie is John Mulaney. They’re roomates and they’re both hiding that they’re actually serial killers, because all comedians are serial killers, we know the true crime obsession isn’t a coincidence. But anyways, they have a rivalry of who can kill someone in the most ridiculous way. Eddie stabbed someone to death with raw spaghetti and choked someone else out with some cooked noodles and so Richie refers to him as ‘spaghetti’ and Richie once killed someone by suffocating them with a trashbag. The body was found filled with garbage in a can so Richie got the name Trashmouth. It’s dumb but hear me out this started out as a joke in a discord call. Anyways, they love each other as both murderers and roomates and they only find out about each other when one of them tries to kill the other in their different personas. They become a lil duo. They only murder assholes btw i don’t wanna make them suck too much.
Broke: Eddie using peach and strawberry (whatever’s cute) scented body wash because his mom wants him to be a cutesy soft boy, and Richie being really possessive because of it.
Woke: Eddie’s mom buying only non-scented hypoallergenic gels and causing Eddie to go over to Richie’s and make dumb excuses to shower and use whatever he has (probably still cutesy stuff cos i can bet either Bev or his mom buys that shit for him) which makes Richie more confused than anything, but he still gay panics as a result.
I drew my version of fem reddie and tried to include as many of my headcanons as possible (also i used the same colour for both of their lips cos....they do b sharing that cherry chapstick doe) . Also I know my art is ugly, please just accept my triangle noses and don’t kill me. fOr mOrE yOu CaN fOlLOw mY inSta iN mY bIO jkjhhudskfchfddfdfdsxfcdvfsdxdfxdf
I mean, it’s gotta be pretty frustrating to remember that you have the big gay AND an oedipus complex at the same time as being in love with the straightest, bro-est, nerd of all time. Bois gonna be angy, yannow? :’)
The only 20s Richie fancasting that i will accept.
I have compiled my evidence and
Danny Sexbang of Ninja Sex party is a wonderful 20s Richie, no questions asked.
Finn played a young version of him in a music video, and at somepoint, Dan the man was wearing an unholy, bright shirt and glasses in a video all about being gay, like, how can you question that?
Also their noses and mouth shapes really do be vibin like, you can’t tell me that this doesn’t make sense.
Also the screenshots from the Danny don’t you know music video aren’t necessary, they’re just Finn looking nice in neon lighting and I figured y’all could appreciate it.
So, yeah, this is the only acceptable 20s Richie.
(Bonus: au where richie forgets his wholeass identity moving out of derry, and changes his name to Danny Sexbang, creating NSP with his soon-to-be-manager, Ninja Brian)
-Richie’s name is Rachel (Full name is Rachel Margaret Tozier), she tried Rach, Rachie and other names which didn’t really work until Eddie called her Richie and it just kind of stuck.
-Eddie has a special nickname for her, which is Chello, which Richie jokes about because she plays piano ;)
-Eddie’s name is Edith (Full name is Edith Francis Kaspbrak), which she hates because she thinks it makes her sound like a grandma
-Richie gave her the nicknames ‘Eddie’ and ‘Eds’ at first to cheer her up because of how much she hates her name
-Richie cut her own hair when she was ten because it was too curly for her to brush on her own and her mother didn’t want to help her with it. She ties it into tiny bunches with really bright scrunchies and hair clips sometimes because it makes Eddie laugh.
-Eddie likes polo shirts with cute little buttons and designs and so Richie, with the help of Beverly (still a girl in this universe cos i love her), made her one for her birthday using her old button-ups.
-Richie likes wearing summer dresses with her regular shirts over the top, with odd knee high socks. She says she does it because it’s funny but in reality, she likes feeling pretty and Eddie always makes sure she does.
-Eddie doesn’t like being very feminine but really enjoys wearing anything to do with sunflowers. She and Richie have a matching set of bracelets with sunflower charms and she sees it as being their flower.
-Richie loves wearing copious amounts of bracelets and silly bands
-Eddie makes them for her and gave her the first one when they were four
-Eddie hates having to wear long skirts all the time, so Richie gave her a bunch of her old shorts to wear under them so that she could swap them when she needs to.
-Richie gets mistaken for a boy a lot and uses it to her advantage so that she can go on dates with Eddie without being questioned.
-Richie can’t do makeup for shit so Eddie does it for her.
Just gonna sit here and think about the reddie crackfic trilogy me and my wife wrote which is thousands of words of nonsensical writing that took several months to create for the sake of one joke in the final sentence of part 3.
Richie collects wacky stationary, Eddie finds out when he asks to borrow a pen and Richie just pulls several pencil cases filled with really brightly coloured pens and pencils. Eddie thinks it’s really cute because whenever Richie thinks of a joke, he pulls out a cute little pineapple notepad and a hot pink gel pen and scribbles it down. His favourite pens are these: