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fireandblood-xxii · 1 year

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HEAT WAVES... (Armin Arlert x afab!reader)

.04 BOARDWALK (main menu | spotify ) 18+ MDNI NSFW ↳ summary: ...armin comes out of his shell. ↳ warnings: explicit sexual content, swearing, implied depression, anxiety ↳ genre: hurt/comfort, comedy, ↳ word count: 11k (my bad)

No one really had an answer. It was as if Eren had vanished into thin air, like he erased himself from the face of the planet and it was just you eight who remembered his existence. All of his belongings stayed just where he left them. Eren’s suitcase was barely unpacked. A glass of water sat half full on his nightstand. There wasn’t a single thing that seemed odd or unusual.

Missing in action for a few hours turned into a few days. Which, eventually, turned into weeks. All of the Survey Corps plans to set up a base in Marley had to be put on hold, and it raised more questions about what to do next. Should the mission be considered a failure and go home to Paradise? Or, wait it out and continue as coordinated once Eren eventually returns?

There was also the looming danger of being busted by Marleyan officials as Eldian’s from Paradise, a special group of people in which the entire country agreed that they hated. Was staying on Marley a minute longer than necessary a risk worth taking?

You didn’t want to think about any of that now. All you wanted was some breakfast.

You quietly open the door to the dining hall, not surprised to see Hange and Levi sitting at the table. They stopped talking to each other as you entered and greeted them for the morning.

They seemed to be having a particularly serious discussion. Hange was sitting on the edge of their seat, their face painted with that determined look that you found inspirational and also frightening-- depending on the situation. Levi was sitting back in his chair, an arm rested around the supportive backrest.

“Make a cup of tea for me.” Levi said.

Anyone else would have taken his tone for rudeness, and his request as a direct order. However, you knew this was Levi’s way of being polite, as his articulation was softer and rounder around the edges. A change of speech he only reserved for you.

It was a recurring joke that you were Levi’s favorite. Levi spoke to you in different tones than he does to anyone else. For you he is always a pinch nicer. He usually said yes to any of your requests, agreed with most of your ideas, and no one could recall a time where Levi had to whack you upside the head for saying something stupid. On top of all that, you were the only one who was allowed to make Levi his tea. Eren made it taste bitter. Jean serves it too hot while Armin serves it too cold. Sasha adds too much sugar, and Connie makes too much of a mess for a single cup. Hange somehow makes it taste like dirt. You were the only one who could brew and sweeten it the exact way Levi liked.

“Yes, sir.” You complied.

It was routine now that you would make a cup for Levi before yourself whenever you happened to be awake at the same time. He hardly needed to ask at this point.

As you approached the table to prepare tea, you took notice of the heavy silence between the three of you. Levi definitely added an ominous element to whatever room he was in, but the tension was too thick. Perhaps you really had walked in on a heated conversation. Being the awkward interruption made you nervous. You kept your head down as you sorted through the teabags to find one Levi would enjoy.

“So, since it’s just the three of us. We’d like to ask you a few questions, Y/N.” Hange spoke up, clearing their throat as they did so. You paused.

“Okay.” You agreed, trying not to sound as anxious as you had suddenly become.

“How has Mikasa been holding up since Eren has been gone?” Hange questioned.

“And be honest.” Levi interjected.

If you were going to be completely honest, Mikasa had been having a difficult time. Just as anyone would imagine. For the first few days of Eren’s absence, she had been inconsolable. Mikasa spent most of those days confined in her hotel room, crying to a point where she would exhaust herself, fall asleep, wake up, repeat. Then, her despair took a turn and transformed into unwavering hope that Eren couldn’t be gone much longer, and that he would return. It was a last minute coping mechanism.

“She’s.. doing her best.” You answered, pouring hot water over the teabag in the cup.

You voted to keep it simple and true as you could without divulging too many details. Mikasa was heartbroken, but she did less crying every day. You figured that Mikasa wouldn’t appreciate you giving out too much personal information, especially to Levi.

Levi and Hange glanced at each other as you kept your back turned. They mutually and silently agreed to not push further about Mikasa. Still, there was another person they were concerned about.

“And Armin?”

The sudden mention of his name falling off of Levi’s lips casually and innocently sent goosebumps down your spine. You shivered as if a chill had brushed right through you. You even dropped the spoon you were using to stir sugar in Levi’s tea directly onto the floor. It fell with a muted clunk against the carpet.

Your mind began to race. As far as you and Armin could tell, no one suspected anything about either of you. You both kept a respectable distance from each other around the group but by default your interactions with each other increased. No one seemed to notice how your eyes lingered on each other from across the room. Sasha, who had been wholeheartedly invested in your infatuation with Armin from the beginning, didn’t even realize that he fixed you a cup of tea every morning since landing in Marley. Jean, who was Armin’s assigned partner for the mission and only slept a few doors down, paid no attention that Armin’s door would squeak open and shut at odd hours of the night from you slipping in and out. Mikasa, who was Armin’s very best friend, seemed oblivious as well. Then again, her mind was elsewhere these days.

There wasn’t much to be said about what Connie knew, because it was usually nothing.

If anyone was going to notice anything, it was Levi. And if Levi knew then Hange most definitely did as well. Levi was omniscient, all-seeing, all knowing, nothing got past him without him hearing about it. You were sure that you and Armin’s jig was up. You’d have to break down and tell Levi everything he wanted to know, as you couldn’t imagine lying to your captain and commander.

You bit your lip as you reached for a new spoon. You began to sweat under your arms and your stomach felt as if it would drop right out of your ass. As quickly as your anxiety had been sprung, a new idea came to mind.

Telling Levi the truth was your best option. However, you didn’t need to reveal all of it.

It was generally easier to tell if Armin was upset, afraid, happy, or sad. In the context of Eren, he was a tougher nut to crack than you suspected. When Eren first disappeared, Armin remained positive that Eren would return as he had no real connections or resources in Marley. He stayed up most nights as a watch guard, ready to welcome Eren back with open arms and a jillion questions. Coffee was his newfound hyperfixation. It gave him the energy he needed to stay up through the night. Apart from the stray glasses of water that you insisted he chug, coffee was all he drank.

When it was becoming apparent that Eren qualified as missing in action, Armin’s decline began. He crash-napped at strange times during the day. Whenever he was awake, his nose was buried in the journals he brought along with him from Paradis, flipping through pages and notes and personal diary entries he had taken on Eren, his memories from his father, and information on the Attack Titan. Armin hardly ate anyway, but he held no real appetite. Armin slept in later and later, often letting the small plates of food you brought him run cold.

You straighten your posture.

“Actually, Captain, I’m glad you asked.” You said.

Hange and Levi shared another look at each other as they also sat up to listen. Just as they predicted, Eren’s two dearest and longest friends would be struggling with him being gone. Everyone knew that the trio never really had a single day without each other. Anyway they could help, they absolutely would.

Levi’s tea was at the perfect temperature and just the right amount of sugar had been added. You walked across the room and lightly placed the saucer and cup in front of him. For a second, Levi watched the steam rise from the rim and eyed the deep brown liquid. You stepped back and stood at full ease.

“Armin hardly comes out of his room these days. I don’t think he eats, or sleeps, he’s too occupied overanalyzing and prophesying. We all know that Armin is more… perceptive than others. I-I think a day outside would do him some good. Only for a few hours just to get his mind off of things.” You submitted your idea, looking between Levi and Hange for any kind of reaction.

Instead of taking the cup by the handle, Levi hovered his hand across the entire rim and sipped through a gap in his fingers, louder than usual. He held his eyes on Hange, who actually had the final say. Hange’s stare was fixated on the table as you explained the situation. They nodded slowly as they listened.

Of course, there was more you wanted to say. But, just as you wanted to respect Mikasa’s emotional privacy, you wanted to do the same for Armin, and not lead on too much. Levi and Hange eyed each other down, quietly debating as if they could read each other’s minds. Your eyes darted between the two of them, eager to hear their thoughts. You felt like you were asking both of your parents for a favor.

“You think we’re going to let you two out and about unchaperoned, in enemy territory, after the shit you all pulled at the refugee camp?” Levi questioned, an eyebrow raised in suspicion. He didn’t look at you as he spoke.

Good point. Quickly, you came up with a counter argument to blame Eren for the sake of the conversation, but Hange intervened before you could propose it.

“Eren took full responsibility for that, and I said we’d just forget about it and move on. That was weeks ago at this point.” Hange removed their glasses to wipe a lens on the corner of their shirt.

“Armin and Y/N are responsible, and are the ones we would have to worry about the least if they were out by themselves.. We shouldn’t let Armin rot in his thoughts alone. Don’t you agree, Levi?” Hange hinted.

Levi took another large slurp out of his cup. With the loud sipping and little complaint as he drank, you figured you once again hit the nail on the head. Hopefully, that would add extra leverage to your proposal. Levi licked his lips and sat his cup in the saucer with an uncomfortable clink.

Levi’s silver-grey eyes weren’t cold, but still just as unnerving, as he finally made eye contact with you. You swallowed as he looked you directly into your soul, and a few yards beyond. He pointed a finger as he spoke.

“Don’t do anything stupid.” Levi said. Now, that was an order.

Your mind had drawn to a blank. You had prepared yourself to defend your case. However, you were not expecting the conversation to go as simply as it did. Once the tide of relief had washed away, you thanked them generously and prepared to leave and make plans. It was better to accept a yes and leave, than to waste another second and give them room to change their minds.

“Hold on,” Levi called after you before you could fully make it out the door.

He dug around in his pocket, and simply chucked whatever he had towards you. You caught it with ease, opening your hand to see that he had thrown a singular Marleyan coin. A string had been tugged in your chest.

“Thank you, Captain.” You smiled greatly and genuinely, giving a respectful salute out of gratitude. Levi waved his hand, dismissing you. You turned on your heel and let the door fall closed behind you.

“Hmm.” Hange relaxed in their seat. Their lips pressed into a sarcastic frown. Levi glared.

“What?” He wanted to know.

“I didn’t hear you say you wanted reimbursement. But I always have to pay you back.” Hange commented.

Levi sucked his teeth and reached for his tea.

“I’ll just add it to your tab.”

A cloudy heaviness floated around in the dark and gloomy room. A few stray pieces of clothing laid across the floor. Dishes had piled on top of the bedside table as neatly as they could be stacked. A few mugs have been collected over the course of a few nights, dried and evaporated rings of coffee remained in the bottoms. The only light source in the room was the lamp in the corner that gave off a sickly yellow hue. It made Armin’s eyes and head ache, but he didn’t want to have the curtains open. Each rise and fall of the sun was just another day without Eren.

Armin took a gulp out of a mug that had been sitting near him as he rummaged through various journals and notebooks. His coffee that he had been cradling was brewed a few hours ago and had long been cold. Armin didn’t care about the stale taste it left in his mouth. He didn’t feel like going to get a fresh cup.

The only audible noise in Armin’s room was the annoying ticking of the clock on the wall. No one likes listening to the time pass by, and it was quite easy to tune out. However, all Armin wanted to do in this particular moment was concentrate on his own research. With each tick tick tick, Armin’s head pounded. His stomach also began to bubble as he had not eaten anything since yesterday afternoon. Food and water would make the hunger and oncoming migraine go away, but he was too engrossed in his writings to get up and do anything else.

Armin was hyper focused on trying to find a clue as to why Eren would disappear. He had been awake since the night before editing, studying, rewriting and scribbling over notes he had taken months and months ago. Something, somewhere, had to be an answer. He could taste it. Armin’s mind buzzed with thoughts and theories. Each assumption was laced over the other, intertwining in his brain all at once. They rattled against his skull.

A soft knock on the door was all that was needed to annoy Armin to the fullest extent, breaking his concentration on trying to keep his ideas sorted. Reality shifted around him now that he had been distracted. The hangry smog wiped from his eyes as he blinked himself to the present. Armin balled his fists, refraining from smacking them down on the table out of frustration

Armin turned in his seat and stood up. His head swam for a second as the blood pooled back into his legs and feet. He realized he had been sitting in that chair for quite a while. He spotted the shadow of two feet under the crack of the door and, suddenly, a piece of paper slid across the floor. The feet disappeared quickly as they appeared, muted footsteps trotted down the hall and away.

It was a note. Armin quickly reached to pick it up and unfolded it.

“Armin, would you please meet me at the pier by 12pm?”

There in black ink, written in your handwriting, was your name signing off. Armin stared at it for a moment to admire how the letters formed the sound of you. He also noticed that the i in his name was dotted with a small heart. Armin’s own heart fluttered. No one has ever written his name that way.

Armin turned the note over in his hand, not expecting anything to be written anywhere else. There was very little context. The pier? He didn’t quite understand. Whatever it is you needed to meet about had to be important if it was outside of the hotel. Armin checked the time. He had thirty minutes.

With haste, he assembled an outfit. Brown slacks, a white button up shirt, and a beige vest to match. Armin splashed some cold water on his face and scrubbed his teeth until his gums bled. All the while his thoughts ran a mile a minute. Armin could feel the adrenaline flow under his skin at the anticipation of seeing you for the first time today. He did a brief breath check before grabbing a cap to conceal his insubordinate hair. Usually it would lay flat but of course it wouldn’t do what Armin wanted right now.

He was out the door with fifteen minutes left to spare. As Armin was just leaving, Jean was walking into his own room.

“Oh, ‘sup Armin?” Jean threw his hand up in acknowledgement. Armin paused, a breath of air being startled out of his lungs.

“Hi, Jean. Bye, Jean!” Armin greeted him breathlessly.

Perhaps if he appeared to be in a rush, Jean wouldn’t question where he was going without him. Armin didn’t need Jean holding him up and asking questions.

“Wait, hang on a second! Where are you going?” Jean stammered. His face was screwed up with confusion.

Suddenly, Armin's hands were beginning to sweat. Anxiety began to pool in his chest. Armin needed to navigate his way out of the hotel and to the pier. The pier was close, a block or two away. Armin could still be on time if he kept his talk with Jean short.

“I’m going to the pier for a while. To look for Eren.” Armin said plainly as it was the entire truth. He put his hands in his pockets and swallowed.

“I can go with you.” Jean offered. He had his hand on the door handle, ready to leave if Armin said yes.

Armin upheld his promise to keep your relationship under the table. He figured one of you would tell Jean eventually. Armin did find it quite funny that Jean was the one who gave him the small boost he needed at the camp that night, but was so far gone that he couldn’t even remember his drunken words of encouragement. Perhaps at some point Armin would thank him for his unsolicited help. With time, of course. For now, Armin was enjoying having you all to himself.

There was an awkward pause as he waited for Armin’s answer.

“No, I-I can go alone.” Armin politely denied.

“Alright,” Jean hunched his shoulders, slightly disappointed. He was about to go back into his room before he abruptly turned back on his heel.

“Y’know Connie and I stay up pretty late most of the time. You can come kick it with us if you want… If you get too lonely.” Jean gently suggested.

This was the first time he and Armin had spoken to each other in days. Armin was Jean’s buddy, and he missed hanging out with him and Connie together. Every other night or so, Jean would tip down the hall to see what Armin was up to. Most of the time his lights were off and everything was quiet. Jean figured Armin would be a little lonesome. Leave it to a jerk like Eren to abandon his best friends.

Armin lips turned to the side in a shy, reserved smile.

“Thanks Jean.”

Jean nodded his head again. He decided to let Armin go his separate way. He couldn’t help but wonder if letting Armin out alone was a good idea or not, given the circumstances. He shook the thought away, having more faith in Armin coming back than Eren at this point. Jean held out his fist for Armin to pound. With no hesitation, Armin approached Jean and met his fist with his.

On that note, Jean went back into his room. Armin rounded the corner like a bat out of hell, and made a break for the exit.

The day was surprisingly warm and sunny. It was the middle of the week, and not many people seemed to be out today. It was nowhere near as crowded, as it was when you all first came to Marley. The pier was bright, full of life, loud, and busy. Now, it was pretty vacant and boring regardless of the lovely weather. There were a few people wandering around. Their shoes clunked loudly on the wood of the pier, echoing loudly into the open sea air. Even though the temperature was slightly high, the wind blowing off of the ocean just a few steps away provided a refreshing breeze. You could even taste the salt.

You checked your small wrist watch for the time again. The day was growing dangerously close to noon. Armin would have been here by now, but he was nowhere in sight. You had picked a perfect spot right in front of the pier's welcoming entrance. In big iron letters erected over its archway read Libero Pier Amusement. You sat patiently on a bench. Sitting in a public space and looking around anxiously was a perfect way to draw attention to yourself, so you kept calm and collected.

The anticipation was driving you crazy. You didn’t bring anything to distract yourself with while you waited, so you resorted to picking at whatever hangnail you could find. You bit at one, wondering what could possibly be taking Armin so long? What if something had happened to him? It was unlike Armin to be tardy for anything. What if he just didn’t want to come? You glanced at your watch again.

“Chewing on your nails again?”

You jumped. As if you manifested him out of thin air, he was there. You didn’t even hear him coming. You looked up at him, relieved that he was finally here and in one piece. But your heart fell at the sight of him in the daylight. It was obvious that he had not been getting enough sleep, if any at all. The area around and under Armin’s eyes were darker than the rest of his face. His outfit, however, was pretty fly. Marleyan fashion suited him well.

“Yeah.” You admitted timidly.

“I got your note, obviously.” Armin stated as he helped himself to sit next to you, thigh to thigh.

He leaned into your space, his hands resting politely in his lap. You had his full attention, eyes wide and dotting across your face. His eyes, the water in the distance, and the sky were all a miracle shade of blue.

“What is this about?”

“I wanted to go on a date.” You introduced your idea, motioning to the nautical environment around you. You gave Armin a flirtatious side eye.

“A date?” Armin sputtered incredulously. You hummed in response.

A strange crack accidentally escaped Armin’s throat. A date, of course! How stupid of him to not realize that sooner. Would you be upset if he didn’t realize this is what you had planned? Had he known, he would have gone out of his way to bring you something nice.

You pressed your lips together, hiding a smile and hoping that Armin would be okay with this. If not, you both could simply go back to HQ and spend time together there. Although, that wouldn’t be as fun.

“Unless you’re uncomfortable! We can go back--” You started to bargain. Armin interrupted you promptly.

“No, please! I-I definitely want to be here with you.” Armin pleaded. His reassurance made your stomach twist.

“I must ask though, how did you get past Hange and Levi?” Armin wanted to know.

He was more than positive that you did not waltz right up to them and say you wanted to go on a date with Armin. And, no matter what way you put it, there was absolutely no way they could have ever agreed to let you venture out alone without Mikasa.

You playfully shrugged. You hardly broke a sweat trying to reason with your superiors, but Armin didn’t need to know that. You did, however, want Armin to know that Levi had given you money. Armin’s jaw dropped. He almost didn’t believe it until you pulled out the copper coin allowance out of your pocket, chuckling maniacally. Armin scoffed.

“I guess that little boy didn’t take all of it.” You lightly teased.

“He’s never given me money.” Armin fake pouted.

He thought back to all of the times that he had gone into town to get things for Levi, and it was always out of his own pocket. He genuinely did not mind at all. That, and he also dared not to ask otherwise.

You laughed. His mood already seemed to be changing. You grabbed Armin’s hand and stood up on your feet. He followed.

“So. What should we do first?” You asked.

Armin held his shoulder out for you to take. You wrapped your arms around his bicep and gave it a very firm hug. A warmth had gone through him, starting from the top of his head and sliding its way down into his toes. He could feel his cheeks flush just by you touching him. It sent his heart thumping and mind racing. This would be your first outing together as a couple. Maybe if Armin remained collected and chivalrous, while staying sharp and alert of his surroundings, he might not fuck anything up.

Like he did last time.

It did not matter where the starting point was, as long as Armin got to spend time with you. After a few weeks of beginning to get used to sneaking around in dark hallways at strange and ungodly hours of the night, it was refreshing to see you in a rather normal romantic environment. A beautiful day, you on his arm, out and about in a place neither of you had explored before. Armin’s stomach gurgled. He suggested food first.

Although this was your plan, Armin seemed to lead the way. He specifically wanted ice cream again and he looked for the trolly. Unfortunately, he didn’t spot the gentleman anywhere so he settled for something else. So, you both made way towards the only open food stand. There was a bit of a line, but you waited your turn. You stood behind a man with a baby resting on his shoulder.

The first thing you noticed besides the huge bald head, were their big green eyes. Their cheeks were fat and round, perfect for pinching. Just as you appeared, the infant kept their eye on you. You smiled and gave a little wave, and made a few funny faces. Your new friend, with their little fist in their mouth, smiled and giggled in return. A bit of drool had rolled down their bottom lip.

“Aw,” Armin chortled at you.

“I like babies.” You mentioned to him matter of factly. The line moved forward a few feet.

The parent must have caught a whisper of your comment. He barely turned to the side and glared at you through the corner of his sight. You could tell he gave you a quick up and down examination. The man's concentration circled on your left arm, which remained at your side since Armin was intertwined on your right. Then, he gave an awkward and unfriendly fold of his lips, and promptly turned back around. It was always disappointing when a cute baby had rude parents.

The menu for street food in Marley was insane. You and Armin collectively have never had so many choices for food in your lives, and it was quite obvious to the vendor by the way you both gawked at the menu. You recognized a few items, such as Mikasa’s popcorn and Sasha’s funnel cake. But you weren’t too sure what a hot dog was exactly…

You and Armin both opted for a pretzel, to try something new.

Once you had gotten your twisted snack and paid, you pointed back to the pier. From where you were standing, you scouted out a perfect spot to sit, eat, and talk. One section of the pier was lined with wooden benches. It was built to stand a few yards beyond the shore line and farther into the ocean. You both sat closer to the end, wanting to be as close to the water as possible, and ate in a comfortable silence.

Seagulls called overhead. The sound of the water sloshing against the wood of the pier echoed under your feet. You snuck a glance at Armin as he munched. His hair blew against the warm wind. He was amazing to look at.

“I’ve missed seeing you during the day.” You confided in a soft voice.

“Yeah…” Armin dragged out. “My sleep schedule has been kind of messed up…”

It was obvious that Armin desperately needed sleep. Even though the bags under his eyes were plain as day, he was still good looking. In your personal biased opinion, Armin was always an attractive guy. The lack of sleep gave him a tragically beautiful aesthetic.

“I stay up most nights just… thinking.” Armin lowly stated.

Armin focused on the half eaten pretzel in his hand. There was something nipping at the back of his mind, something that you could see but not put a name to. You took a bite out of your food to fill some of the silence.

“About what?” You asked.

He paused for a moment. Suddenly, he wasn’t hungry anymore.

Armin thought everything was going well so far. He didn’t want to ruin the mood by being sad and talking about his feelings. Although, it was only a matter of time before you broke the ice and brought up Eren. He noticed how you tiptoed around it, how your exterior around him had softened. Since Levi didn’t bother to do bed checks anymore, only because the main reason for reinstating them for the time being had gone, you pushed the envelope on how late you would stay in Armin’s room. Sometimes, you’d fall asleep for a while. He guessed that you just wanted to keep him company.

“You can tell me anything.” You reassured him. You lightly knocked your knee against his to get his attention.

You were completely right. You were an excellent listener, and quite easy to talk to. Having deeper and more meaningful conversations with you was simpler than he thought. After understanding that you liked to talk as much as he did, Armin realized that he had psyched himself out for years. Being too intimidated and shy to initiate anything beyond banter as comrades, and vague compliments.

He often found himself spewing embarrassing facts and stories. You knew that Armin does not like to sleep with socks on because he hates the way his toes feel when they’re confined together, and he likes when it rains because everything feels cleaner. If he could confide in you that he enjoys a romance novel every now and then, he could be honest about his latest dilemma.

“I know, I just…” He inhaled sharply.

The pout on your lips was involuntary. Armin’s shoulders fell. He still kept his eyes on his lap. His bottom lip was taken in between his teeth, chewing on the supple skin.

“I thought at first that maybe being in Marley triggered some kind of memory, that Eren got lost or confused and would find his way back. I read my notes a thousand and one times. He hardly ever spoke about his fathers memories, aside from killing the Reiss family, so I couldn’t even piece together an idea of where in Marley he could have gone”

“And then I remembered the ‘see you later.’ It made me think he changed his mind at some point, but why? Maybe it was something I had done, something I didn’t understand… That’s kind of where I’m at now, I guess…”

You left your pretzel unattended as you listened. A sinking sensation fell in your abdomen. It was without question that Armin missed Eren and, honestly, so did you. He wasn’t your closest friend, but you enjoyed kicking him under the table when he joined in on Connie and Jean’s teasing. You constantly remind Eren to mind his business whenever he commented about Mikasa’s hair getting too long, and that she can keep it anyway she wants. Being the last person to see Eren seemed like a cruel joke. You felt as if anyone would see him for the final time, it should have been Armin.

You slid closer to him, hips touching together. Gently, you place your hand on his shoulder. Your eyes were locked on to him. He couldn’t avoid eye contact if he tried.

“I don’t think it had anything to do with you.” You hushed.

Armin offered a weak smile. You had spoken so tenderly, he almost believed that was true. All of a sudden, his mouth had gone dry. He felt as if you had him by the throat. A ringing sound in his ears as he zoned in on your lips. They always turned to a smile, no matter the occasion.

“Stand up. Face me. ” You demanded.

Without question, Armin did as you said. You plucked his pretzel from his hand and sat it down where he was sitting, and took both of his hands in yours. They were warm and a little sweaty. You gave them a squeeze. You instructed him to take a deep breath in and a deep breath out, following along with him.

“Let’s still try to have fun here while we can. Okay?”

Armin sighed. He could not deny to himself that the sunshine and fresh air had restored a piece of his mind. He was never going to stop wondering about Eren, thinking of the smallest technical detail, until he showed up again. For now, perhaps he could let his guard down for a moment…

“Okay.” Armin effortlessly agreed.

From that point on, he managed to put all of his Eren thoughts to the back of his mind, and enjoy your company. It had actually been about two or three days since you both had spent time together. He realized he hadn’t seen anyone for a while, which must have been why Jean was so surprised. Armin missed hearing you laugh and reaching to touch him anyway you could as you did so, how you could make a conversation about anything, and you definitely had gotten prettier somehow.

You both took one long, slow stroll around the pier. Mainly just talking, bouncing off of each other's ideas and random thoughts. You noticed a few things about him as you walked and talked. Armin spoke fluently with his hands. In casual conversation, he waved and moved them around. When he was being bashful, he rubbed them together. Armin also put his hands in his pockets sometimes. You hadn’t figured out what that meant yet. He apparently had a lot on his chest.

It was about to be your second turn around when you noticed a few people walking along the shoreline and under the pier. Immediately, you wanted to go there.

You and Armin rolled your pants legs up to the shin, took off your socks and shoes, and walked through the water under the pier. You held your footwear in one hand, while holding hands with the other. They swung in between while you casually strolled.

It was apparent that Armin was in a better mood. He skipped through the water, splashing himself and you as he kicked his feet around. He let his mind and his mouth run a mile a minute. Armin spoke on seemingly every thought that had came to his brain. You couldn’t help but to smile and laugh as he did. One day out and away from everything was just what he needed.

“Look at this,” Your eyes glanced at one of the pier legs.

You both stopped and approached to read and admire the handwriting that was etched into the wood. They were messages, notes, love declarations and promises. It was romantic to see how many couples had been in this very spot before you and Armin. He awed at some of the sentimental carvings. You had an idea.

You reached into your back pocket, pulling out a small knife you kept for last resort defense. You flipped it open and pointed the blade into the wood.

“What are you doing!” Armin exclaimed.

“Writing our names.” You stated, quirking an eyebrow. You thought it was obvious.

“You can’t do that, that’s vandalism!” Armin insisted.

He placed two hands on your shoulder, peering over as you were spelling your own name.

“Vandalism, really? Look how many people have been here before us!” You chortled as you moved on to sketch his name underneath yours.

Armin wasn’t the type to willingly bend the rules, which is what made it so fun to break them around him.

“Just because other people did it, doesn’t mean it’s right!” Armin hollered over the sound of the water moving and crashing. A subtle salty mist dusted the air as the wind blew from the ocean.

Armin’s face had turned a bashful red. He anxiously looked around. If you were both caught by Marleyan authorities and discovered to be from Paradis, it would be game over for the both of you as well as everyone else.

“Ta-da!” You cheered. You slid your knife back into your pocket and stepped back to admire your handiwork.

There, permanently drawn into Liberio’s pier were your names together, enclosed with a heart. Carving curves was more difficult than you thought it would be but the shape came out all the same. Armin noticed that you dotted the i in his name with a heart as well. He reached out to run his finger over the fresh carving.

“Nice little touch.” He complimented. The serious line of Armin’s lips twitched into a smile.

A quick gust of ocean breeze flew past, misting the sides of your bodies as you stood face to face. He had realized many things about you at once. Armin liked the way the wind had blown your hair back from your face, and the way your lips were drawn into a cheeky smile. He suddenly couldn’t feel his feet. The feeling of the cold water around his knees faded into the background as you had become the center of his attention.

Being in your presence was always a surreal experience. Even more so now that Armin got to have you all to himself. The era of Armin yearning from a distance was, for the most part, over. He no longer had the underlying anxiety of wondering if you would ever like him the same way. Even though you’ve said it, it was clearer now that you truly cared for him. He could feel it in the way you held his hand, pointing out the finer details of the world around you. You literally carved your names in wood, and it would be there forever for others to know that you both stood in this very same spot. It felt official, as if a contract had been signed. Armin’s heart pumped doubletime.

A switch had been flipped. A layer of Armin’s adoration towards you had been stripped, and a new fresh wound lay underneath. It seemed to run deeper into Armin’s chest than he anticipated.

“I owe you an apology.” Armin blurted out. You turned to look at him.

“Why?” You questioned.

He inhaled. The words weren’t easy to come off his tongue. Armin wanted to shrug and say he didn’t know, to spare you the bore of him talking. But, you said he could tell you anything…

“I… don’t think I’ve given you the attention you deserve.” He confessed, pulling on his fingers.

You helped yourself to wrap your arms around his middle, giving him the most genuine and warm hug he had ever gotten. The water that you stood in was cold, but your touch had him just about sizzling.

“You don’t have anything to apologize for.” You stated.

Armin gulped at your comment. You resting on him eased his spirit, as if he was forgiven for a sin. He laid his cheek on the top of your head, snuggling into you for the moment. His eyes began to throb, tears threatening to pick behind his eyes. He wasn’t sure what he was about to cry for. Armin’s psyche felt a hue brighter. Suddenly, nothing else seemed to matter to him than you did in this current moment. Armin did not want to taint this memory with tears, so he quickly blinked them back.

You played under the pier for a few hours, as long as it took for mid-afternoon to turn into late evening. You kept reading other names drawn onto the pier leg, trying to find things to pick up and maybe keep as souvenirs, but you didn’t find much. Armin brought it upon himself to start throwing water. You splashed him back. This was maybe the happiest you had ever seen him be.

A weird creepy feeling hit you in the back of the neck. Suddenly, something was off. The hairs on your arm stood up. You got the sensation that you were being watched, stalked from behind. You stopped running around the pier legs, playing into Armin’s silly tag game. You took a sly peak from the corner of your eye before turning completely around.

There was indeed someone behind you, a few feet away. It was unclear what they were doing exactly. They stood still as if you couldn’t see them at all.

“What’s wrong? Are you tired?” Armin asked.

You had become distracted by his voice. In the split second you turned to look at Armin and back at the person, they had already gone. They were there plain as day, Armin must not have seen them before they took off.

“Nothing is wrong.” You said.

Armin approached you slowly, careful not to splash around as much anymore. He wrapped an arm around your back, enclosing you around him in a light hug. He looked in the direction you were staring into, not understanding what had distracted you all of a sudden.

“Let’s go back.” He offered.

—

Armin didn’t let go of your hand once. He held it from the pier all the way back to HQ. His grip tightened when you made it inside and snuck through the halls like two lovestruck shadows. The hallways were clear and quiet. There wasn’t a single person in sight.

“Are you tired?” You hushed.

“No, are you?” Armin asked.

“No…” You trailed off.

Since the hallway was so empty, now seemed to be a perfect time to slip in either of your rooms. You typically snuck off to Armin’s room, which was farther down the hall and had loud door hinges. Your room was closer, only around the corner. “Do you want to come to my room?” You suggested.

A bell had gone off in Armin’s head. He’s never been in your room before, neither here nor on Paradise. He couldn’t begin to imagine what your personal bedroom looked like, although he wondered. Armin nodded his head in agreement. The lump in his throat had formed in seconds, and hindered his speech. The dry mouth didn’t help either.

You promptly grabbed your room key out of your bag, so you wouldn’t have to fumble at the door. You and Armin promptly rounded the corner. You stuck your key in the lock and with just your luck, the key did not turn. You moaned in frustration.

“Sorry. This sticks sometimes.” You explained.

You quietly jiggled the key in the hole, hoping to dislodge the mechanism inside. Of course it would happen now that you’re in a rush. Armin stood close behind you. You could feel his breath on the back of your neck, which only further distracted you. It sent goosebumps down your spine.

He couldn’t help his eyes but to wonder up and down your backside. Armin began to anticipate what possibly could happen once he got inside your room. Anyway he put it in his mind seemed perverted, which isn’t the energy he wanted to give off. He couldn’t wait to hold you close to him and unwind under your sheets. Armin’s head began to pound at the thought of things escalating further.

Armin fumbled with his hands anxiously as you struggled to unlock the door. You shook the handle again, more aggressively this time. Mikasa’s room was catty-cornered from yours, and would definitely see what was going on if she caught wind of suspicious noises in the hall. Armin wasn’t sure how Mikasa felt about you and Armin being together. It never had a chance to be brought up.

And, sometimes, he really disliked being on the same brainwave as Mikasa. They were always very close. At one point in their childhood, Mikasa tested Armin extensively to see if they could read each other's minds. It felt like just as Armin began to worry about being caught by her, Armin happened to notice her door was cracked enough to peek out of. The tip of her red scarf lazily hung through the crack, an eye just barely visible.

Armin quickly glanced between you still trying to break into your room, and Mikasa, who was staring directly into his soul.

“What?” Armin mouthed to her.

She looked Armin up and down once. Her eye squinted. She was definitely judging him. Quietly, she closed her door back.

You managed to successfully turn the key, after spewing swears. The door swung open and you went inside. Armin followed and closed the door behind him.

Armin didn’t allow a second to pass before he had his lips on yours. He held them there for a moment. You were quite surprised, standing in a short jolt of shock. When the familiarity that was Armin as you knew him sunk in, you kissed him back. Both of your lips laced in between each other. He laid his hands on your hips. His fingers lightly dug into your skin. You placed your arms around his shoulders, giving him support as he leaned in most of his body's presence into you.

Your room was still dark. You hadn’t even turned the lights on yet.

Armin took a step forward, causing you to take a step back. Walking while kissing made you miss a few steps. The back of your legs collided with your mattress and you fell backwards, dragging Armin down along with you. He exclaimed when his feet were suddenly taken out from under him, and quickly braced himself so he didn’t completely squish you.

You chuckled rather awkwardly as you were slightly embarrassed for some reason. Your heart thumped in your chest, even your ear drums were feeling the beat. Of course you and Armin were often this close to each other. It was obvious that physical touch was his main method of affection. Both of you were usually staying up extremely late, embracing one another, talking and getting to know each other better. Armin especially liked to fiddle and toy with your hands and fingers, and leave kisses anywhere he was allowed.

Armin giggled as well. You smiled up at him, eyes glowing brightly. Armin lowered his face to yours. He lightly rubbed the tip of his button nose against yours, and then helped himself to another kiss. You gently added your tongue to the equation. Armin melted instantly. Comfortable moans slipped through the both of you. Time seemed to no longer exist. Armin felt like he had been kissing you for ages, but still was not getting enough. His blood started to work harder to flush through his veins.

He wanted more. Armin itched to feel your skin on his, soft and delicate. He remembered how good you felt inside. Not that he ever stopped thinking about it, and how being inside of you felt so right. He never stopped thinking about you. The way you held him, moaned his name and mewed for more, squirming under his touch. With his eyes closed, he could almost taste you again.

Armin broke himself away to collect air.

“Do you want to..? Y’know…” Armin struggled to find his words. He spoke them softly into your jawline as he walked his lips there to leave kisses.

Armin resisted the urge to suck on a perfect spot where his lips grazed your neck, just below your ear. If he left any marks, someone would definitely put the pieces together and know that it was him. Armin most definitely wanted to leave his love bites and bruises on you. His secondary thoughts spun as they thought of all the other places he could freely bite and suck on.

Asking before proceeding was always the right thing to do, but Armin didn’t know why he was blushing harder or how it was possible. He could feel a bashful heat rise in his face.

You knew what he was asking. You wanted to excuse yourself so you could hide your face in a pillow and scream into the down feathers to hide how hot and bothered you had suddenly become. This would be the first time you and Armin would have sex sober.

How would it be different?

The blue in his eyes poured into you inquisitively. They changed from a light cyan to a deep, amorous phthalo. Perhaps it was the trick of the light. His eyelids appeared heavy, no longer staying wide with wonder. He focused on you as if you were a target he was aiming for. Armin’s cheeks were strawberry red, as well as the tip of his nose and ears. He held a small piece of his bottom lip in between his teeth as he patiently waited for an answer.

You wouldn’t ever turn Armin down.

“Yeah, I want to.” You confirmed.

There was zero time to react. Armin sighed in relief and reattached his lips to yours. He was still on top. To make himself more comfortable, Armin put one leg on each side of your hips to straddle you. You could feel how hard he had gotten, making a shiver go from the bottom of your neck and straight down. Your hands went to entangle themselves in his hair that was so soft, it felt as if you were touching nothing. Your nails accidentally scraped the skin of his scalp as you did so. A miniscule whine left Armin’s lungs as he helped himself to kiss at the pulse of your neck.

“I promise I won’t cum before you this time.” Armin stated. The both of you chuckled, smiling into each other.

Both of you began to strip each other of your top layers. Armin’s shirt had been removed, as well as yours and your bra. You took into account how toned he actually was. He was definitely on the leaner side, shoulders and biceps defined with muscle. His abdomen was divided into faint sections of four. Armin wasn’t necessarily gung-ho about training and being physically fit, but it was clear that whatever work he was putting in was paying off.

Bare from the chest down, Armin moved from kissing the sensitive spots on your neck to your collarbone. Then, he moved to give attention to each one of your breasts. He kissed one as he held the other, giving your nipples each an equal amount of pinches and gentle sucking. Armin made his way down your sternum, down your stomach, and met a dead end at your waistline. You still had your pants on.

“Can I taste you again?” He wanted to know. His fingers had already hooked into your belt loops.

You nodded your head in agreement, not even having to think about it. Armin’s lungs filled with excitement. He bit his lip to keep himself from smiling too much while he unbuttoned your pants and took them off for you. He began to tremble slightly from the anticipation of pleasuring you with something he knew you liked, something he was supposedly good at.

You propped yourself up on your elbows to watch Armin make himself comfortable between your thighs. He was on his stomach with his feet hanging off the side of the bed. Just for a moment, Armin paused to look back up at you. He wanted to see if there was any hesitation behind your eyes. If there was, that would be okay. But he was practically praying that there wasn’t. He gently wrapped his arms around your tights.

Armin took the kind smile you laid on your lips to be a go ahead, reading your mind perfectly. He helped himself down to give your clit two clear kisses, and began to lick ever so gently. The last thing you saw was the top of Armin’s blonde hair, his face tucked away. You closed your eyes and laid back to let Armin do his thing.

Armin’s hands dug into the meat of your thighs and his arms had tightened into a gentle hug once you began to wiggle and whimper under his tongue. He changed from giving your clit smooth licks, to licking through your pussy. He lapped at everything you had to offer like a pup to water on a hot day. Armin removed one hand to dip a single finger into you, leaving nothing untouched.

“So good.” He whispered.

Using his tongue and fingers, Armin created a rhythm that he could keep up with. He managed to work his way up to two fingers inside of you, teasing at the spot inside that had his name written all over it. Armin focused his tongue back to your clit, sucking and licking them interchangeably.

You were on cloud nine. This time around was better than the first. It would technically be Armin’s second time going down on anyone, but he performed like he knew what he was doing. You didn’t quite understand it, but if he was doing it this well then did it actually matter? You kept your noises to a minimum out of courtesy. A hand had made root in Armin’s hair, tugging at his locks. Armin’s one free hand reached for yours.

Enthralled in the pleasure he was giving, you had your eyes closed shut. Armin kept his wide open, unable to look at anything else. His vision tunneled from his job between your legs, to the sight of you squirming and huffing under his touch. Even before that fateful night in the tent, he had fantasized about pleasuring you in any way he could in any way you liked. Besides knowing what was outside of the walls, all Armin ever wanted was you.

A cord in your abdomen began to tighten and tighten. You knew you were coming close to an orgasm, but you didn’t want to just yet. You let Armin finger until you couldn’t take anymore. You tapped his shoulder.

“Stop, I-I don’t want to come yet.” You puffed.

Armin halted without comment. The corner of his mouth drew upwards in a shy smile. His eyes were swimming with lust, pupils blown out and dark. He used the back of his hand to quickly wipe his lips before glossing them back up your body. Armin kissed you. You could taste the faint tinge of yourself on his face and on his tongue.

A brief make out distracted Armin long enough for you to slip your hand in between your bodies and start messing with the button and zipper of his pants, which he had kept on. Armin gasped when your chilly hand found it’s way inside and around his cock. His mouth fell open with shaky sighs and moans as you began to work your hand up and down his shaft.

Armin was hard as stone. He was of decent thickness and length. Your core fluttered at the memory of how he filled and stretched you out so wonderfully. His cock flexed and twitched in your hand. You had only worked your wrist a few times up and a few times down, Armin was already panting and sweating.

“I wanna be inside you,” he huffed in your ear. You smiled into his shoulder. He almost sounded as if he was begging.

You released your grip to give Armin space so he could shimmy out of his pants. Once they were tossed to the side and he had settled comfortably on top of you, Armin gave you one deep kiss. His breath hitched inside his throat as he sunk himself inside of you. His whine grasped your attention. Your eyes flipped open to check on him. Your vision was met with the top of Armin’s blonde hair. His face looked down to where you both were connected.

“Are you okay?” You question.

Armin nodded. With his eyes closed, he took in a giant gulp of oxygen as he lowered himself onto his forearms. He was cautious not to put all of his weight onto you. Armin buried his face in the spot between your shoulder and neck. He spoke low, his voice sizzling in your ear.

“Forgot how tight you were.” He quietly confessed.

A little laugh escaped your lungs as he laid on top of you, chest to chest, as he pushed himself deeper. Your body recalled the way Armin filled you up. The stretch of him felt nice, a perfect fit and balance of length and size as if he had been molded just for you. Armin stayed still for a moment after making himself comfortable. Your arms wrapped around his shoulders, fingertips pressing into his skin.

He moved his head so his nose touched yours. He wanted to be as close to you as he possibly could. Being literally inside of you almost wasn’t enough. You being sheathed around him was as close as he could ever get, so warm and so snug. Armin kept his composure, as he tried not to climax upon impact. He worked his hips slowly against you, impossible to restrain his breaths of satisfaction.

“You’re so fuckin’ beautiful.”

With the compliment rolling off his tongue, Armin met his lips to yours. You embraced him tightly, holding him against you as you felt like you were floating. He took your bottom lip between his teeth and tugged, his moans spilling into your mouth. They were low and breathless, just loud enough for only you to hear. His thrust increased, still slow and loving, but more emphasis was added as he pushed back up side of you.

As he did so, Armin realized that your bed was slightly unsteady. It rocked as he did. And somewhere in the screws of the frame was a rather annoying squeaking sound. It might have just been his ears playing tricks, but he swore it got louder as he kept going.

“Your bed is very noisy.” Armin commented, chuckling and slowing down his pace to cease the squeaking. You swallowed.

“No one will hear, I promise.” You said.

Armin had to catch his breath over what you were saying. He inhaled deeply again, getting a good whiff of your hair. Armin let his hips have a break, staying still at his last thrust upward. You felt the tip of his dick touching the particular spot you liked. Armin put his forehead to yours and looked you straight in the eye.

“Are you sure?” He asked. Armin looked deep into you, scanning for any amount of uncertainty.

A shiver went through your spine. Armin stared at you with an erotic gloss coating his eyes. It must be a signature of his. However, there was an icy focus to his irises. You saw an idea fly into his mind. His tone had changed, as did the rest of his aura. Everything had gone a shade darker, Armin being the only one taking up your entire vision. The world seemed to not exist outside of him being on top of you.

“Yes.” You cautiously replied. Whatever he was about to challenge you with, you accepted it.

Armin believed you. If there was no chance anyone would hear, then he didn’t see a point in trying to keep quiet. There was more privacy in a hotel room than there was behind a tapestry.

He leaned in for another kiss. Armin’s lips fell onto yours, haphazardly kissing you with no real pattern. Your tongues moved around each other recklessly. Armin pulled his hips all the way back, and snapped forward with little mercy. He repeated the same motion again, and again, and again. Your eyes clamped shut, seeing strange sparks of colors and shapes.

“Does this feel good? Hmm?” Armin panted in your ear, desperation entangled in his question. His breath was warm and rumbled as low as his voice could go. You nodded your head.

“K-Keep going. Don’t stop.” You confirmed, swallowing your encouraging words as Armin continued.

It was all Armin really needed to hear. He snaked both of his hands down your arms and to your hands, locking his fingers in between yours. Without a single que, your hands flopped to the top of your head, being pinned down by a weight on your palms. Armin melodically sighed. Lewd moans were exchanged in between each other as Armin began to fuck you threefold.

“I won’t stop, baby. I-I… I can’t stop.” Armin huffed pathetically.

Right now, his main focus was how well he fit buried deep inside of you. Armin swore he never had a stronger sense of belonging than here in this moment. He could feel the tip of his cock prodding at your soft walls. The way you squeezed around him had Armin crumbling around you. You smelled nice, as per usual. Armin could still smell traces of the ocean salt in your hair and on your skin, which was soft and supple as it rubbed up against him. Armin’s hands gripped yours tighter.

The sound of bodies hitting together could almost drown out the bothersome squeaking of your bed frame. You hardly paid attention to it. You were too consumed in the ecstasy Armin was putting down. You drank in every word he spoke. His trimmed hair below his beltline made perfect friction on your clit as Armin bore down hard when he thrusted into you. You were so full of him, anymore might be too much. You were already sensitive from his tongue lapping at you moments before. This was just enough to send you over the edge.

Armin freed your hands from above your head. Blood started to circulate back into your wrists. He then placed both of his hands on each side of your face, cradling you softly. Both of your eyes flipped open at the same time, directly looking at each other. Armin sheepishly smiled. It was impossible to look anywhere else. He held your face exactly where he wanted, maintaining eye contact as you fell closer and closer to coming undone. You held onto his shoulders, digging your nails into his warm skin.

You could feel your stomach tighten and the muscles in your core swell. You whispered how you were close, so close, so so close while Armin kept his fast pace. He let his hips go as they naturally could, not really having a specific rhythm.

“I’m gonna come,” You smaller voice was swept in the wave of Armin’s moans. He put his forehead to yours.

“I won’t until you do…” Armin exhaled.

Just a few more pumps into you, and Armin had you splintering from reality. A wash of relief finally crashed down. You throbbed around him. You knew he could feel you coming to orgasm. Armin’s hips wobble for one single second, a rather delirious laugh cracked from his throat. He could feel you drowning in your orgasm. You clenched around him, sucking and pulling under the waves with you.

Armin removed himself posthaste. Your head was still spinning and your consciousness was jaded. You sat up again on your elbows in time to watch Armin relieve himself right onto your stomach. Some white ropes had jumped all the way to your chest. His eyes were squeezed shut and his jaw hung open while he worked his wrist around his dick until he was satisfied.

Then, he flopped next to you on his back, his shoulder slightly over yours. You laid together in a thick fog of post-sex silence, catching your breaths and letting your brains reset. Your first coherent thought that came to mind was to clean Armin’s mess from your skin. Second, perhaps to bring Armin a glass of water. His face was beaten with red splotches as if he had run laps around the world. There was a thin shine of sweat to his forehead. You twisted the knob on your bedside lamp, and got up to do so.

“Where are you going?” Armin asked. Like a frog to a fly, his reflexes were quick. Before you could get too far, he lightly grabbed your hand.

“I’m going to clean up, and then bring you some water.” You stated with a smile, giving his hand a little squeeze.

Armin’s heart pinged. He smiled back at you, only because he was still too loopy to form a proper sentence. He watched you sashay away to your private bathroom, admiring the view of your naked backside. Once you had disappeared, Armin fell back onto your mattress. A puff of your smell wafted around him like an amorous security blanket. He inhaled deeply. If he snuggled into your blankets enough, perhaps your smell would rub on him too.

Armin nestled under your blanket and made himself comfortable. While he did so, he realized that there was still a significant amount of space left, even if you were laying down next to him. In Armin’s hotel bed, there was barely enough room to fit the both of you but you still managed to make it work.

“You know, your bed is a lot bigger than mine.” He commented.

You snorted from your spot in the bathroom. You had cleaned yourself off and thrown on a shirt you had. Then, you filled up a glass of water in the sink, took a few sips for yourself, and filled it back up again.

“Yeah, it’s bigger than my bed back home too. Actually, this entire room is about three times the size of my actual bedroom. I don’t even have a…”

You stopped talking at the sight of Armin completely passed out in your bed. He was literally awake and talking two seconds ago. His face was still flushed with pink, not as red anymore, and his breathing was still heavy. Armin was curled up on his side.

As quietly and as carefully as possible, you crawled up next to him and turned the light back out. Your vision adjusted to the darkness. You swore you could feel his heartbeat bang through the sheets. Holding onto that sound, you fell asleep not long after he did. -- thank you. reblogs and feedback are appreciated! arminshouse © 2023. all rights reserved. do not translate or repost any works by arminshouse on any other platforms. violators will be prosecuted in accordance within the law.

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fireandblood-xxii · 1 year

Text

HEATWAVES (Armin Arlert x afab!reader)

.03 WHEREFORE ART THOU ( back | forward ) 18+ ONLY MDNI summary: ...the 104th attend the eldian rights meeting in marley, you were the last to see eren. warnings: racism, segregation, ommetaphobia (applying eye make up), emetophobia, some explicit sexual content, swearing genre: hurt/comfort, comedy, smut (18+ NSFW MDNI) word count: 6k

One week later…

It was strange. You never thought of Paradis being one of many other countries. You have always believed that Paradis and her titans were all that has been, is, and will ever be. To describe the discomfort in your chest simply as anxiety was an understatement. The Eldian Rights meeting was in two hours. You would bear witness to a world-turning, life-changing discussion among Marleyan representatives and other international ambassadors to debate over whether Eldian’s were worth “civilizing.”

An odd choice of words, you personally believed.

The Survey Corps had been busting their ass to gain a new perspective on the world beyond the walls while simultaneously trying to prove that the natives of Paradis were simple-living people who wanted nothing more than to live titan-free with food on their tables, land for their livestock, and prosperity for their children. You could practically taste the bright new future ahead.

And what then? What new beginnings would unravel once the world welcomed Paradis in its arms? Perhaps there would be more resources to build more railroads, more housing for the homeless, more schools for those wanting to seek education. How wonderful it would be to open more hospitals and doctors offices. Your hands were trembling with anticipation, you could hardly apply your makeup.

“I am so excited!” Armin sighed from the other side of your bathroom door.

Even though Armin had already seen you naked, undressing and dressing up in front of him felt weird, almost too intimate. You decided to get ready in the bathroom where you could close the door and be alone while also being near Armin. Armin had no problem with that, he respected your privacy. He sat on the floor with his back against the wood as he talked to you through the other side, listening to you walk around and rummage in your things.

“I feel like I’m going to throw up.” You dryly confessed. It was mostly a joke, but you could if you really tried. Armin chuckled.

“Are you nervous?” He asked.

There was an underlying ticking in the back of your mind. What if the meeting turns into a complete disaster? What if the positivity and wonder shown towards Paradis was liberal bias? What if you all were in way over your heads?

“A little.” You muttered as you tugged on your waterline to trace it with eyeliner.

You were given a reference of how your makeup should look, as it would help you blend in. Who knew that all those giddy sessions with the girls in your dorm during your cadet days would come in handy. Historia taught you how to take care of your skin. Annie taught you how to apply eyeliner without blinding yourself. Sasha taught you different ways to braid your hair. Without their help, who knows how you’d turn out.

“Why?” Armin pondered.

He felt your quiet pause from where he was sitting. He adjusted his legs, preferring to sit criss-crossed. He tucked his hands away in his lap.

“You can tell me anything, you know.”

Sure, you knew that. You gently closed the box to your mascara brush as you tried to refrain from smiling so hard at Armin’s soft reminder.

“I don’t know… What if these people are like the ones in the harbor? What if they think the same?” You pondered.

You referenced the group of merchants who were spewing and spitting about how they didn’t like immigrants when you first arrived in Marley. It was one of the first interactions you had with Marleyan citizens, and it didn’t leave a great taste in your mouth. Armin noted that you had a solid point.

“Perhaps they were just a bigoted group of people in particular. Not everyone is like that.” He proposed hopefully.

Armin didn’t necessarily have to sit on the floor, but he wanted to be close to you and you had been in the bathroom for a while. He wondered when you’d be done, but knew better than to ask. Armin got up and moved to lean against the wall to give his aching backside and thighs a break. Almost as if you could read his thoughts, you spoke out.

“I’m almost done.”

“I can’t wait, I miss you.” Armin half joked. He felt like he had grown a pair of wings at the sound of your laugh.

Putting on the dress that was given to you took longer than it would usually take for you to get dressed. It took you less than a minute to put on your field uniform, and about five minutes on a casual day. With skimpy material in hand, it took you about ten minutes to figure out which way the dress was supposed to fit, and another ten trying to grab the zipper. You didn’t understand why the zipper was in the back. Your normal clothes snapped, buckled, and laced in the front. How was one supposed to dress themselves if their clothes were, technically, backwards?

You cursed under your breath as you reached behind you awkwardly to secure the dress to your body. Armin grew more concerned by the second at your mutters of frustration. He pressed his ear to listen for any dangerous sounds of distress.

“Sweetheart, do you need help?” Armin politely tapped on the door.

You gave up immediately. Your heart skipped, feeling giddy at his words of affection and assistance. If he was so eager to help, then you might as well let him.

“Yes, I-” The words hardly left your lips before the bathroom door had been thrown open, with Armin standing in the frame.

Armin’s hand gripped the doorknob tightly as he stood in what appeared to be a silent shock. Time had slowed significantly as he gawked at you top to bottom. Your face was different, enhanced with makeup. Armin wasn’t sure what you had completely done to yourself, but your eyes packed a punch right to his stomach. They were deeper, more intense, like you would turn him to stone if he looked too hard.

No one could hold a candle to how gorgeous you were. He liked the way the dress contorted with the shape of your body. He was still able to pinpoint where you and the dress curved. Your shoulders were exposed which is what Armin liked the most along with the lilac color. His palms began to sweat along with his racing heart.

It was comical how this was the particular situation you wanted to avoid, yet here it was happening anyway. There was a twang of emotions that you could not identify. On one hand, you desperately wanted to know what Armin thought of your attire. Did he like it, did he not like it? On the other, it was mortifying to have Armin’s eyes on you. Even more so since you could hardly dress yourself. Why was it so embarrassing since you’ve already had sex with each other? Since when has deciphering your own feelings become so complicated?

“It’s the zipper, I can’t get it up.” You carried on to explain your difficulty, making eye contact with Armin through the glass of the mirror.

“Right,” he sighed.

In only a few swift steps, Armin stood absurdly close behind you as he grasped onto the zipper and pulled like it was the simplest task in the world. Underneath that, you could feel the faint breeze of Armin breathing directly behind you. Goosebumps dusted across the backs of your shoulders and down your spine. You refrained from shivering.

Still looking at each other through the mirror, Armin lowered himself enough behind your shoulder that only his eyes and up showed in his reflection. His blue eyes were stuck wide open and his pupils were dilated. Armin placed both of his hands on either side of your waist, his touch heavy enough to be present but still gentle and light as a feather.

“You’re very beautiful.” He bashfully admitted. Armin placed a kiss on the exposed skin of your shoulder for good measure. You broke eye contact.

“It’s just a disguise.” You meekly scoff. Your face started to feel hot. Armin frowned.

“Hmm, no.” He shook his head.

Armin didn’t agree with your comment. He thought you were beautiful every day despite what you wore. If only you had known that you’ve made Armin’s heart go pitter-patter when you were covered in sweat and dirt just the same, maybe you’d see yourself the way he saw you; Perfect, flawless, stunning.

Armin had gotten lost in burying his face in between your shoulder and jawline, drawing in a deep breath and planting kisses along your pressure point. As he did so, he got a decent inhale of your perfume. You always faintly smelled like flowers— fresh and light. It reminded Armin of when he, Eren, and Mikasa would race each other in the tall grassy hills of Shiganshina. Whatever you had on now was richer and sweeter.

For a brief moment, you were slightly thrown. Armin had been your boyfriend for about a week, and right from the beginning it was clear that touch and physical affection were important to him. Your relationship was still under wraps and have been cautious around each other without it being too obvious. Armin still wanted to hold your hand under the table when everyone was sitting together, kiss your cheeks when he first greeted you in the morning, hug you more sensually just because he could and wanted to.

On top of that, public displays of affection flustered him too much to gain the confidence to actually make any open moves on you. For that reason, he was quietly glad that you came up with a low-key idea. Armin did his best to compensate for lack of PDA, and to make up for lost time, with giving you his undivided attention and affection in private.

Armin’s grip on your hips slightly tightened, fingertips pressing into the silk material of your dress. His arms then wrapped around your waist, holding you against him as if you’d slip away. The knot in your chest had migrated to your abdomen and tightened.

He was fighting the urge to sink his teeth into the skin on your shoulder. The hickey’s Armin had left on you last week had faded already. The idea of Armin marking you with love bites and bruises aroused him more. You wouldn’t be able to say who had given you these marks but it would send a message that you were spoken for, that you were his. The secrecy behind it made Armin’s stomach flip.

The bathroom began to fill with an erotic smog. You smelled so lovely, looked so amazing, felt so good entangled in Armin’s arms. He started to get a buzzing, throbbing feeling in his dick. With one tiny step forward, he was pressed up against your backside. You couldn’t help but to release a breathy giggle.

Armin’s eyes flipped open and they fell to your reflection in the mirror. To his surprise, you were already looking back at him. Your lips tugged upward.

“What?” Armin wanted to know.

“I haven’t done anything, and yet you’re really hard.” You chuckled.

“I can’t help it.” Armin bashfully batted his eyelashes.

Armin had a way of wrapping you up in his bubble. Perhaps it was how his warm body was an opposing fit to the way you were shaped. If you could stay wrapped up in Armin until the end of time, then you definitely would.

“Hello?” Completely out of nowhere, there were a few knocks on your hotel door followed by Mikasa’s voice calling out. She poked her head inside of your hotel room.

With a white flash of panic, Armin jumped back and let you go.

God damn it.

“Hello?” You responded back. You heard the sound of Mikasa’s footsteps come inside.

Mikasa looked about your room. Her palm began to itch the way it did when something was askew. Mikasa’s vision cued into the things around your room, taking in the details. She noticed a pair of men’s shoes sitting directly next to a pair you had sitting out. A small sarcastic, yet amused, scoff left her lips.

It wasn’t as if you hadn’t brought a guy back to your quarters before, and it definitely wasn’t the first time Mikasa had questioned you about it either. Still, she was ready to give you a lesson. How could you bring someone back to headquarters here in Marley? Did you not understand how dangerous it could be? Not only were you risking all of your identities, this guy could be a psycho murderer.

“Are you almost ready? It’s time to leave.” Mikasa spoke out. If there wasn’t an unknown person here, she’d relay the message that Hange and Levi had sent — meet up with your partners to depart for the conference.

“Oh. Y-Yeah. I’m ready now.” You straightened yourself up.

Through the mirror, you looked at Armin. He mouthed a quiet “I’m sorry,” for a reason you didn’t see.

Another thing you realized about Armin was that he carried a guilty conscience.

A lightbulb went off in your mind. Just as quickly as you had come down, Armin had gotten you all worked up. You weren’t sure how far things could have gotten if Mikasa had not come in.

“Maybe, if you come back later, we can pick up where we left off.” You suggested quietly as you stepped closer to him. Both of you stood nose to nose.

Armin’s knees almost gave way while there was a pang in his chest. A flash vision appeared when he blinked his eyes in response. It was of him bending you over the sink and absolutely not holding back on you, one hand pulling your hair and the other grasping at your waist. His cheeks had flushed so pink, they began to ache.

Your painted red lips were so soft and so kissable. Armin wanted you to leave your lip prints all over him, just as they do in the romance novels he only reads at night when he’s completely alone. Your lips were curled in a particularly mischievous way. Then it clicked— you were teasing him.

“O-oh… I.. uh…” Armin spouted.

Armin couldn’t handle it anymore. At this point it was difficult for him to not be aroused. Armin wanted you so bad, his temptations were physically making him itchy. What else could he do with the time crunch and Mikasa being just earshot from the bathroom?

Nothing. He simply turned on his heel and left. You snickered to yourself as you watched him exit in a rush. Armin was always easy to tease, as he was the type of person to give the exact reaction someone would want.

Mikasa noticed that the bathroom door was open. Without leaving where she had planted her feet, Mikasa leaned to get a peek inside at this Marleyan stranger you had persuaded to come back to your room. However her suspicion left when Armin emerged. She gave him a glance over at his Marleyan suit. All gray, a white shirt, and a matching gray vest under his jacket. A gold chain was clipped to his pocket as an accessory. She also notice that Armin was adjusting his beltline and the collar of his buttoned up shirt simultaneously.

“What are you doing?” She asked.

“Leaving. You said it’s time to go, right?” Armin questioned back.

Armin realized that Mikasa was done up wonderfully too. She had done her makeup similarly to yours, and also wore the same drop-waist style dress. There were only a few differences in your outfits. Mikasa’s dress was pink and velvet, compared to your purple and silk. Her headband had feathers on the side that sat closely against her fine black hair. Armin smiled.

“Look at you guys! You both look so nice!” Armin beamed, glancing between you and Mikasa at once. You and Mikasa spoke at the same time,

“Aw, thanks Armin.” ....

The Marleyan architecture was out of this world. No one in the Survey Corps had ever seen such fine materials be crafted into buildings. The ceilings seemed limitless because of the glass vaulting, making the sky above visible and giving the room natural lighting. Marble pillars lined the outskirts of the lobby, framing the conference room that you all were supposed to be in.

It was better to be early than to be late. At least that’s what Hange insisted when you all arrived before the conference room was even accepting people to sit inside and wait. There was quite a crowd standing around you all. Men and women dressed in fine clothing. Several concession stands stood in each corner, offering different snacks and drinks to have while you waited.

“Eat this.” Without asking, or really offering, Mikasa shoved a piece of her snack into your mouth.

It was white, fluffy and yet had a crunch you never felt before. Whatever it was melted into your tongue as soon as they touched. Sasha picked a small piece out of the square container it was served in.

“What is it?” You asked after savoring it.

“Popcorn!” Mikasa beamed.

“Try my drink.” You offered. Mikasa took a sip from the stick that stuck out of your cup. Her face twisted up in discomfort.

“Is that straight lemon juice?” Mikasa smacked her lips together.

“It’s lemonade!” You said. Sasha also helped herself to a sip, her face screwing up in disgust as well.

“Y’all, have a piece of my funnel cake.” Sasha held the treat she had just gotten.

Sasha’s dish was peculiar. The only way you could describe it was a pile of golden worms topped with a white power. You eyed it cautiously. Mikasa picked apart a chunk to taste. When she reached back for seconds and confirmed that it was quite tasty, that’s when you went in for your first sample.

Unbeknownst to the three of you, your entire snack exchange was observed closely by Armin from a few feet away. His eyes locked onto you in particular. Armin was so zoned out on you, he hadn’t realized that Eren was almost turning green in the face.

“God, give me a break.” Eren practically gagged.

His outburst distracted Armin for only a millisecond. Eren was cringing, a wrinkle in between his brow. Without warning, Eren gripped Armin by his arm and pulled him to the side for a private conversation. Armin’s eyes were sharp as he looked at him, confused and slightly annoyed.

“Is this really how you are going to be?” Eren questioned.

“What do you mean?” Armin responded.

“It’s been, like, a week since the incident. Have you seriously not spoken to each other?” Eren pressed.

“It’s not like that!” Armin denied.

Armin immediately bit his tongue. He saw the two choices he was faced with. He could be honest and tell Eren about you. Eren had been his wingman. He knew how deep Armin’s feelings for you ran. If anyone deserved the right to such a secret, it would be Eren. However, Armin also wanted to honor your wishes. He pressed his lips together, stealing another glance at you and trying not to get distracted by the sight of you laughing.

He sighed. He then relayed the recent events, picking up from their last conversation about you. Armin summarized the mutual decision to keep everything between the both of you, which was now in between the three of you. Eren nodded as he listened.

“I see. I can’t say that I blame you two. I’m glad it all worked out for you, Armin.” Eren clapped his hand on his friend's shoulder.

It may have been a trick of the light, or perhaps Armin saw only what he wanted to see. There was a softness in Eren’s eyes that had been absent for months. Armin could have sworn that he saw a smile.

“By the way, these are for you.”

Eren dug into the pocket of his pants and pulled out three individually wrapped condoms. He held his hand out simply for Armin to take, as if he were handing him money. Armin croaked in surprise.

“Jeez, Eren, not here! Put those away!” Armin huffed. Eren tilted his head down to look at Armin through his eyelashes.

“I said these are for you.” Eren repeated himself.

Armin eyed the contraceptives in Eren’s hand. Armin always practiced safe sex with his previous partners. But now that he was in a relationship with you, he hardly saw the need. Armin was no fool, but he was definitely a fool for you.

“N-No thank you.” He awkwardly chuckled, politely declining Eren’s offer.

The little squeak of shock had captured the attention of Mikasa. She glanced over at Armin, concern showing in her eyes as she made her way over.

Eren had not budged. His own green eyes were locked onto Armin, staring him down. Eren too noticed Mikasa approaching but still did not show any secrecy. Armin snatched the prophylactics from Eren and shoved them into his own pocket before Mikasa could be close enough to see the exchange.

“What are you guys talking about?” Mikasa wanted to know. She popped a popcorn kernel in her mouth. Without asking, Eren reached into her small bucket and took out a handful.

“Armin and Y/N are dating. But it’s a secret, so don’t tell anybody.” Eren simply explained as he chewed and talked with a mouthful of popcorn.

Mikasa’s head whipped towards Armin so fast, her headband slipped in its place. Her initial response was to audibly gasp, however a stray kernel shot directly to the back of her throat. Mikasa coughed as Armin’s face instantly turned pink.

“Eren!” Armin crowed. Eren patted Mikasa gently on the back to ease her coughing.

“She should know.” Eren stated matter of factly.

Armin figured Eren was right, as the three of them were thick as thieves. There was a hint of something else in his tone, like Eren knew something Armin didn’t, but he couldn’t quite place it.

Armin’s passion for you wasn’t uncommon knowledge between himself, Eren, and Mikasa. Armin often asked Mikasa what you might be up to, your likes and dislikes, possible whereabouts if you and Mikasa weren’t together. He assumed she would know those kinds of things, considering that you and Sasha and her were also a tight knit group of best friends as well. If you didn’t tell Armin yourself, or if he hadn’t figured it out on his own, Mikasa was a reliable second source for information about you without being too invasive.

“Huh…?” Mikasa had finally caught her breath.

Armin sighed, and repeated the story a second time from the beginning. Now, it was between the four.

Armin’s eyes darted between Mikasa and you as he spoke, just a few feet over. You stood in a group with Sasha and Jean listening to Hange talk and Levi visibly looking as disinterested as possible. Your back was turned, not seeing or hearing Armin speaking softly about you. He tried not to get caught up in admiring your frame from behind as he explained the situation. By mistake, he had let his gaze linger too long. Sasha had caught him.

At first, Armin did not realize Sasha was watching him watch you until she smiled at him politely. Armin turned away. Sasha took one step closer to you, leaning in to whisper in your ear.

“Don’t turn around—“ Sasha began.

You haphazardly moved to look behind you, without even thinking.

“I just said don’t turn around.” Sasha didn’t move her lips as she spoke through her teeth. She grabbed you by the shoulder and turned you back around. You cringed and stood stiff as a board.

“Oh. Why?” You mumbled.

“Because, Armin was just staring at you.” Sasha teased, practically singing a playful tune. She took both of her index fingers and poked your bicep, her funnel cake now devoured and trash discarded.

Your body stiffened more. You and Sasha were of one mind. Jean theorized that you two plus Connie shared a single brain cell among the three of you. It was a good thing that Sasha couldn’t feel what you felt. Your fluttering stomach and increase in body temperature would have blown your cover.

“Maybe he was looking at you.” You tried to steer the attention off of yourself.

“Nah, he was definitely looking at you. And those. And that.” Sasha wiggled her eyebrows, giving you a playful look up and down and motioning to your outfit, chest, and backside.

“You should go talk to him.” She suggested.

You wanted to laugh. Even though Sasha was your very best friend, you still hadn’t told her about you and Armin. You figured you’d fill her in once you got settled back in on Paradis. Keeping Armin all to yourself for the past week was quite thrilling, you had to admit.

You blew Sasha off, scoffing ironically with air huffing out of your lips. If only she knew.

“I’m being for real. You’ve liked him since the sun was put in the sky. Wouldn’t it be so romantic if you two finally got together in a foreign country?” Sasha swooned.

Sasha truly possessed a hunter in her spirit. She was a skilled assassin and a perfect shot. You don’t think you could ever recall a time where she hasn’t hit her target. Her instincts were impeccable. Sasha could smell rain coming. She could hear things from what seemed like miles away. Sasha was always on point. Even now, without knowing any fine details, she hit the nail right on the head.

You both took a short glance behind you, peeking over at Armin together.

This time, he was the one not paying attention. Armin’s face was pinker than usually, eyebrows bent out of shape and a slight frown on his cute face. He waved his hands, dramatically flailing them around as he spoke so seriously. As someone who knew Armin personally, seeing him stressed or concerned from a distance was not unusual. You wondered what he could be ranting about.

“Is that even allowed?” You questioned, turning back around. Sasha shrugged.

“Nobody’s ever said it wasn’t. Armin’s cute, I’ll give him that. And yeah, he’s a little off, but I think you’d be a good match for each other.” Sasha mentioned.

Off? What does she mean? You wondered.

“I think you’re getting ahead of yourself. He was just looking, right? You sound like you’re about to plan our wedding.” You played.

“There’s no one better suited to officiate you guys than me. I’m not a church girl but, shit, I’ll get ordained for that!” Sasha declared.

The doors to the conference room swung open. Two guards in white uniforms and equally white hard hats propped them open. A perfect cue to exit the conversation, but your anxieties skyrocketed.

The conference was about to begin. ....

“God damn, he’s been talking about nothing for the past forty-five minutes!” You hissed under your breath towards Mikasa’s ear. She hushed you through her teeth.

“Can’t he just cut to the chase? My anxiety cannot handle this!” You continued to complain.

“Be quiet, I can’t hear what he’s saying!” Mikasa hissed back at you in return.

You closed your mouth. Unable to keep up with the man’s monotonous tone, you skimmed the room for your comrades and boyfriend.

You easily spotted Armin out of the crowd. To the average eye, he looked like an ordinary man in a gray suit. But to you, he stood out more than anyone. If you didn’t know him, you’d be attracted to him anyway. His blonde hair was tucked away under the cap he wore. The gray of his suit complimented him nicely. Gray was one of his colors. Along with blue, red, the green of his Survey Corps coat, the brown shade of the suit he wore on the first day in Marley, black, tan, white…

You were beginning to regret having that lemonade. You shifted uncomfortably in your seat to aid in holding your need for the restroom. After a few more moments of being bored to absolutely death by the man on the stand, you figured you wouldn’t miss anything if you went to the restroom and back quickly.

“I have to pee.” You stated, again leaning in Mikasa’s space.

“Then go.” Mikasa said.

She did not break eye contact from the center of the room once. Mikasa was too engrossed in what was being said, and her hangnail on the side of her thumb was also more interesting. You took advantage of Mikasa not looking at you and made a face.

“Some friend you are, letting your best friend go to the restroom by themselves. What if I get kidnapped?” You proposed. Mikasa tsked the way Captain Levi does.

“Whoever took you wouldn’t keep you long.” She clapped back, again in the same way Captain Levi would.

It must be an Ackermann thing. You huffed and collected yourself.

“I’ll be back.”

You remembered which way the restrooms were, as you passed them on the way inside. You retraced your steps and wound up exactly where you needed to be. Two restroom doors stood right next to each other. You scanned the signs between them to differentiate between them. You noticed something peculiar.

One of the restrooms had a sign that read, in fat red letters, Eldian Only.

Strange, what’s the difference? From where you were standing in the hallway, they appeared to be the same from what you could tell by glancing inside through the open archway. Both had the same ugly orange paint on the walls and white tile on the floor.

What was the reason that Eldian’s had their own restroom? And, which one should you use?

As you pondered your decision, a woman waltzed right into the Eldian designated restroom. You noted the white armband she sported, something you had seen a few people wear. Coming up on your left, a little boy was running at full speed. He booked it right to the Eldian restroom. Another woman came up behind him, yanking him by the collar of his shirt.

“No, sweetie! You must pay attention! That’s the Eldian restroom. It’s probably disgusting in there, and I’ll be damned if an Eldian gets you sick!” She explained.

There was a condescending, nasty sneer to her tone as she explained to her child. Her voice carried through the hall loud enough to be heard by anyone close by. The woman then gently escorted her boy into the, now what you can assume, Marleyan designated restroom.

You decided to play it safe, sticking to your cover as a Marleyan citizen and went inside the Marleyan restroom. There was a long horizontal mirror hung up on one of the walls above the sinks, and stalls on the opposing side. It looked like an ordinary restroom and functioned like one as well. You had an inkling that cleanliness wasn’t the dividing factor.

Once you had finished and were just about to leave the restroom, a familiar body walked directly past you. Eren floated down the hall and towards the direction of the exit like a ghost. You blinked at the back of his head and took a quick look around for your crew. No one you knew was around, just random people walking to and from their destinations.

“Eren?” You called out.

He stopped and did a half turn. His choleric facial expression didn’t surprise you. Eren was always angry about something, more often than not. His eyes were glassy and his lips were drawn in a tight line. Eren was the type to cry because he was just so angry. You had seen that look many, many times.

You quickly stepped to make your way towards him, instantly becoming concerned.

“What’s wrong?” You innocently asked.

Eren inhaled sharply and puffed a frustrated sigh. He began to pace in place. His hands shook, it took more effort to breathe. His chest heaved up and down. Eren tried the in through your nose, out through your mouth tactic Mikasa and Armin had shown him, but it was to no avail. Eren’s blood pumped through his veins at a boiling temperature. You could see the explosion start to bubble and fizz.

“The fucking Marleyan’s! They’ve decided that Eldian’s native to Paradis are the source of their evil!” Eren began.

Shocked at his words, you glanced around to see if Eren had drawn any attention to the both of you. As far as you could tell, no one had noticed.

“Eren! Keep your voice down…” You mentioned.

“Our mere existence is a threat to them, and to everyone else on the planet! Eldian-Marleyan’s, I guess they get somewhat of a pass. But us? No, fuck us!” Eren grew louder as he irately complained. He motioned between himself and you as he referred to an us.

Your heart sank upon hearing those words. You gathered that you had missed the key moment of the conference. What Eren was saying was difficult to understand. What was the difference between Paradis-Eldians, Marleyan-Eldian’s, and Marleyan’s themselves?

Weren’t you all just people?

“I just… I need some air. I’ll see you later.” Eren said through a clench jaw. He threw his hands up in the air.

Perhaps that’s all he needed. Some fresh air, maybe a brief change of scenery to remove himself from a toxic environment. Without another word, you let him go. You stood in the hallway and watched Eren storm off.

And, by God, how you wished you hadn’t.

After waiting for him for thirty minutes at the meet up point once the conference had ended, alarms and red flags began to fly at the realization that Eren did not show up. You all did your absolute best to leave no stone unturned. Everyone double checked all the restrooms inside, scoped out the exterior of the building and nearby marketplaces. It was as if Eren had simply vanished into thin air.

Back at the hotel, It was all hands were on deck for the search of Eren. Everyone was now spread out, still keeping an eye out for Eren while also being discreet. Hange and Levi went out on their own to comb through the streets as best as they could. Sasha and Mikasa scouted out entrances and exits in case Eren decided to sneak back inside. Connie and Jean monitored the hallways. Armin chose to stay behind in the private dining room and waited in case Eren slipped past everyone else. You decided that tagging along with Armin would be a good place for you to be, as you figured you had done enough damage for one day.

The burden of being the last one to see Eren was heavy. You did your best to answer everyone’s questions, as that final moment between you and Eren was so sudden and heated that you had to force yourself to remember the smallest details. One thing rang clear as a bell, Eren’s promise to see you later. It put a dry taste in your mouth for some reason, it seemed oddly personal.

You tried not to be a person who dwelled about the would’ve-could’ve-should’ve’s of what has already happened. You have seen many soldiers come undone by dwelling in their regrets, but you could not help to wonder -- What if you tried harder to make Eren stay? It would be inevitable that Eren would probably go alone anyway, as the only real people he seemed to listen to that weren’t his commander and captain were Armin and Mikasa. Then you began to wonder what if you had gone with him so he didn’t have to be alone? Would something have happened to you too?

“No one blames you.” Armin stated when you began to ponder these thoughts out loud.

He rounded the edge of the couch you were sitting on and sat next to you, close enough for his thigh to touch yours. He handed you the cup of tea and the saucer it was served with. In return, you gave a rather weak smile. Armin then placed a hand on your shoulder. An easy gesture of comfort, but his touch sent a spark through your skin.

“I know, but-”

“Then don’t blame yourself. Eren implied that he would be back. He could walk through that door at any moment.” Armin said, more to himself.

Armin’s words brought a small amount of comfort but as the evening grew into night and everyone was returning with no reports on Eren, it was becoming increasingly obvious that Eren was not coming back tonight. Armin could not be seated for long. He paced in between the windows, going in and out onto the balcony. You could see Armin deflate with every passing moment. He and others may agree that it was not your fault for Eren’s departure, but you still felt responsible for his frowning lips.

Your heart hurt for him deeper than it did for Mikasa, who was just as distraught. She carried the same faith Armin did, but her spirit had fallen in a damaging clatter when she and Sasha returned and Eren was still not there. Once her realization hit, she began to cry.

Mikasa has only ever gotten disgustingly emotional a handful of times, mostly over Eren ninety-nine percent of the time. The only circumstance when Eren was not Mikasa’s problem was when Armin had been burned. Mikasa was bawling like a newborn. The tears could not be stopped. No amount of affirmations, tissues, or head pats from you and Sasha could soothe her. “It’s only been a few hours, Mikasa. Don’t be too upset.” Jean made an attempt to provide some comfort. However, as usual, he had put his foot in the wrong place.

Mikasa cried louder. You and Sasha shot him a few daggers with your eyes, and ignored him for the rest of the night.

“Nice, Jean.” Connie sarcastically sighed with an eye roll. Jean could do nothing but sputter about how he didn’t mean it in the way it sounded. You looked around at your concerned comrades, your sullen lover, and distressed best friend. A shot of anger pierced through your veins. The anger was red and hot, mounting up to be enough on behalf of everyone in the room. You had personally felt lied to. What was the point in saying you would see someone later, and not come back at all? You let go of the theory that perhaps something had happened to Eren, and hiked it up to this being a choice he made on his own considering that just a week ago he had done the exact same thing. You all were lucky enough to find him before he ventured too far.

With your new hypothesis, your brain created a new question -- Where does he keep trying to go?

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