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Tales of an Artificer / How to Be Eaten

Not me literally falling into the Baldur's Gate/Astarion rabbit hole.

That man has an iron grip on me, and because of that, I had to begin writing a new book.

Make that TWO books, plus I have another book idea in the mix~

Both of them revolve around an Astarion love story!

I hope you enjoy them <3

These are rated for much older audiences so please read the tags closely (As in 18+, so minors do not interact!)

Tales of an Artificer

Click title to be sent to it!

Summary:

An artificer with a pension for trouble, Etalia Albane knows the world best when it's behind a handcrafted, arcane scope.

Years of mischief should have led her on a path of petty crime and prison sentences, but her dream of becoming a world-renowned inventor has sent her on a journey to Baldur's Gate with nothing but her Eldritch Cannons, robots, and warforge companions. That is until she bumps into Tav and her company during a routine grave-digging operation: a crew of strangers bonded by a mind flayer tadpole deep within their skulls.

With nothing else but wishes and prayers to gods that may or may not listen to them, Etalia agrees to a partnership in the hope they'll arrive there alive, and it seems that a giant brain in the sky may be the least of their problems…

***

A story in which two idiots fall in love but they can't seem to say it.

Also a major plot is that Astarion has a charisma of 10 battling someone with an intelligence of 19 but a wisdom of like 4. It’s a slow burn that revolves around friends to lovers and though the artificer falls hard the vampire falls harder.

How to Be Eaten

Click title to be sent to it!

Summary:

The sisters three.

The road to salvation is a tricky one, and forest creatures, Amaris, Lara, and Eteri have woken up from a terrible slumber. Once forced to tread the world as statues, lost and forgotten in the trees, Amaris and Lara have found themselves on a nautiloid in the hells of the Tieflings, and that’s only just the beginning.

Amaris is blind.

Lara is mute.

Eteri cannot hear.

Split between one another, each of them finds themselves on a different path, one forged on love, fear, and fights, twisted in secrets. And Amaris may have found trouble in the hands of a two-hundred-year-old vampire.

One who speaks devilish words.

A rogue with a bite.

A monster who asks for her blood.

#baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate iii #baldurs gate astarion #astarion #astarion x reader #astarion x oc #Astarion love story #Astarion fanfic #Astarion smut #Astarion

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Lmao. I apologize for not being on as often as I should, especially since I still want to give my thoughts on the finale of Better Call Saul, but currently I am reworking the Diosa fic once again. Just minor tweaks here and there, and adding a bit more to the earlier chapters. Just in case any one is aware, in the next update things might be a bit different. Sorry about that! But the overall ark and character progression will remain the same. I hope ya’ll don’t mind!! 

-Kitty

#diosa #lalo salamanca

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insane men covered in blood. you agree. reblog.

#lalo salamanca

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Turns out Diosa had a double upload today lmao. I was truly feeling inspired, so if you haven’t read chapter five yet, go check it out again!

<3 Thank you

WHAT’S THAT I HEAR??

ANOTHER DOUBLE UPDATE???

Indeed! 

Diosa | Lalo Salamanca and Afterglow | Jesse Pinkman just received another chapter update this morning, if you haven’t read it yet, go check them out!!

(Please note that the Jesse Pinkman may potentially spoil not only the Breaking Bad ending, but also the Better Call Saul ending. So read at your discretion!)

Link to my general AO3 profile to browse my other stories such as House MD, Halloween, and Falcon and the Winter Soldier: 

CatLadyInTraining - Archive of Our Own Profile

Link to Diosa | The Lalo Salamanca story that takes place pre-canon and in the late nineties and early two thousands before Better Call Saul takes place. Has explicit scenes of death, murder, spoken talks of drugs, blood, and other triggering topics related to these subjects: 

Diosa | A Lalo Salamanca Fanfiction

Link to Afterglow | The Jesse Pinkman story that takes place after the events of Breaking Bad and El Camino. Please not that this deals with heavy topics such as PTSD, anxiety, and rehabilitation of past drug use. Also it may potentially spoil the ending of Better Call Saul, which just aired this last Monday:

Afterglow | A Jesse Pinkman Fanfiction

Thank you! I hope you all enjoy these because I love writing them <3

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WHAT’S THAT I HEAR??

ANOTHER DOUBLE UPDATE???

Indeed! 

Diosa | Lalo Salamanca and Afterglow | Jesse Pinkman just received another chapter update this morning, if you haven’t read it yet, go check them out!!

(Please note that the Jesse Pinkman may potentially spoil not only the Breaking Bad ending, but also the Better Call Saul ending. So read at your discretion!)

Link to my general AO3 profile to browse my other stories such as House MD, Halloween, and Falcon and the Winter Soldier: 

CatLadyInTraining - Archive of Our Own Profile

Link to Diosa | The Lalo Salamanca story that takes place pre-canon and in the late nineties and early two thousands before Better Call Saul takes place. Has explicit scenes of death, murder, spoken talks of drugs, blood, and other triggering topics related to these subjects: 

Diosa | A Lalo Salamanca Fanfiction

Link to Afterglow | The Jesse Pinkman story that takes place after the events of Breaking Bad and El Camino. Please not that this deals with heavy topics such as PTSD, anxiety, and rehabilitation of past drug use. Also it may potentially spoil the ending of Better Call Saul, which just aired this last Monday:

Afterglow | A Jesse Pinkman Fanfiction

Thank you! I hope you all enjoy these because I love writing them <3

#Better Call Saul #better call saul lalo #better call saul lalo salamanca #better call saul eduardo salamanca #salamanca family #lalo salamanca #eduardo salamanca #eduardo lalo salamanca #Breaking Bad #breaking bad jesse pinkman #breaking bad el camino #jesse pinkman #jesse pinkman fanfiction #lalo salamanca fanfiction #el camino #fanfiction #fanfic

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😬

The final episode is going to be interesting.

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I've been reading all your brba/bcs stuff and like. whew. you're so talented and THANK YOU for writing

YO, thank you <3

I always feel super self conscious about my writing and I end up redoing a lot of it before it’s ever published, so hearing how much people love it between ao3 and tumblr makes my heart swole!

I have a lot of fanfictions planned for ao3 and also a lot of original books I’m getting ready to publish on amazon, and if you guys like my writing as much as I think you guys do, I have nothing to worry about 😊😊

Thanks again, I love you!!

-Kitty

#DFI Answers

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sorry if this is a redundant question but do you write xreaders and are you requests open??

Yes I do and yes I am!! 

I have a ton of requests in my drafts that I just haven’t gotten to lmao. 

But they will be out eventually and my request box is always open :)

I’m working on a few Domingo Malina and the Twins stuff, but also a little Jesse Pinkman and Lalo. They’ll be out as soon as I finish them, so keep a look out.

Thanks for asking though loves!

-Kitty

#DFI Answers

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Better Call Saul and Breaking Bad SPOILERS 

This is also might be spoilers for my fic too lmao, but I don’t care. I still don’t know how to actually end it, but given these last few episodes I sort of like this idea. 

I kind of envisioned Alessandra somehow surviving even after Lalo’s death, and escaping Gustavo’s reign after Don Eladio dies. But can you imagine, this left-for dead, in-hiding ex-cartel queen learning to find her husband is dead by the hands of their enemy, and years later people finding out the truth of Gustavo’s meth empire and bringing light to how awful of a person he really was and watching his own fall from the comfort of the shadows. 

And Alessandra, who is tired and broken and not the woman she once was, learning of the police finding two bodies underneath the laundry factory and where Walter and Jesse once cooked meth, coming to find out a set of those bones was once her husband, now bringing brought back into the light. 

And she watches in silence, listening to the news as the case opens to find Lalo and Howard’s body, listening about the Los Pollos Hermanos falling into ruins and running her hands over her wedding ring, the one she has yet to remove even in his absence. She can hear his laughter for just a second, and though it’s not happy or good, it’s closure, and that’s all that matters. 

#Better Call Saul #better call saul lalo #better call saul lalo salamanca #better call saul eduardo salamanca #lalo salamanca #eduardo lalo salamanca

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With the finale of BETTER CALL SAUL coming up, I just want to say.

I still fucking love Lalo.

#lalo salamanca

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The moment when you not only publish one chapter, but a chapter in TWO books!! :D

That’s right everybody, Diosa (Lalo Salamanca) and Unchain My Heart (Dr. Gregory House) are updated. 

Just click this link to be taken to my AO3 profile!! 

ENJOY

LINK: CatladyinTraining

#Breaking Bad #Better Call Saul #better call saul lalo #better call saul lalo salamanca #better call saul eduardo salamanca #House #dr. house #house md #gregory house #Greg House

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Chapter one is officially up!! I’m so sorry this took so long, I wanted to publish this on the 8th but got sidetracked with a lot of things this past weekend. But here you go!!

I hope all of you enjoy and I can’t wait to get the next chapter up!

Chapters: 2/? Fandom: Better Call Saul (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death Relationships: Eduardo "Lalo" Salamanca/Original Female Character(s), Jimmy McGill | Saul Goodman/Kim Wexler Characters: Original Characters, Original Female Character(s), Original Male Character(s), Jimmy McGill | Saul Goodman, Eduardo "Lalo" Salamanca, Mike Ehrmantraut, Gustavo Fring, Ignacio "Nacho" Varga, Howard Hamlin, Hector Salamanca, Tuco Salamanca, Domingo "Krazy-8" Molina, Marco Salamanca, Leonel Salamanca, Manuel Varga, Francesca Liddy, Eladio Vuente, Juan Bolsa, Huell Babineaux, Abuelita Salamanca Additional Tags: Friends to Lovers, Partners to Lovers, Partners in Crime, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Married Life, Fake Marriage, Two Bad People Falling In Love, Spoilers, Pre-Canon, Eventual Smut, Eventual Romance, Eventual Sex Summary:

In the year 2004, Lalo Salamanca is pronounced dead by the Mexican Police when they find a charred body on his ranch with half a dozen other corpses surrounding the land. And his wife, Alessandra Vuente, daughter of Don Eladio, heiress to a billion-dollar criminal empire, and mother of the modern drug trade has left the comfort of her home in Mexico to the rat-infested hills of Alberqurque to find out who exactly put the hit on him.

But the truth is, Lalo isn't dead, and this isn't a revenge story. Not yet anyway. Because the story doesn't begin until Alessandra is found by Lalo on Don Eladio's ranch a decade before, wielding an ax, and slicing it straight through a man's face without so much of a wince. With her dress bloodied and a weapon massed in brain matter, Lalo has just found that spark he has been missing for so very long. A tangled love affair, mixed with drugs, violence, and gore, and terrorizing the DEA in more ways than one.

#breaking bad #better call saul #saul goodman #better call saul lalo #lalo salamanca #salamanca family #imagines #headcanons #fanfictions #fanfic #Original character #lalo salamanca x reader #lalo salamanca x oc #lalo salamanca headcanons #eduardo salamanca #eduardo lalo salamanca #ignacio varga #kim wexler #tuco salamanca

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Of course we only got 5 minutes with him, but my God, I enjoyed the short time we shared together 🥺

#better call saul #breaking bad #lalo salamanca #eduardo lalo salamanca

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My man is back!!!!!!!!! 👀 👀

#this has been in my drafts for six million years #but he's back baby!!! #i would let him ruin me 🤤🥴 #better call saul lalo salamanca #better call saul eduardo salamanca #better call saul #breaking bad #lalo salamanca #eduardo lalo salamanca

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why did you keep jesses name as jesse in your fic?

Because I started writing it before it was established that when the characters change their identities, they also change their first name too.

I kept his name Jesse because I was basing it on how federal agents stay undercover or when they put people under witness protection. It's hard for people to just change their first name, especially if they're older, so most of the time these people still use their real first names and change their last names to keep their identities a secret while still making it believable in the long run.

For example, in Better Call Saul, Jimmy sometimes forgets his name is Gene in the future timeline, and this can be dangerous especially if you want people to believe what you're saying.

I had thoughts about changing it later when I started noticing it in the show, but like, I don't see him with any other name than Jesse. I've read fics where they changed his name, but I also think that's the reason why they just called him Mr. Driscoll at the end of El Camino. He's Jesse and will always remain Jesse.

#breaking bad #breaking bad el camino #breaking bad jesse pinkman #jesse pinkman #DFI answers

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Thoughts on Season 6 of Lalo???

Given we're only on episode 4, we haven't actually seen much of Lalo since the end of episode 2. So I can't really say for sure?? He's still a man on the mission and I promised I wouldn't post spoilers on here given there has already been a LOT going on and we're not even halfway done with the season, but maybe if the writers ACTUALLY show us what he's doing across the border, maybe I could tell my thoughts lmao.

I'm just waiting for him to come back on screen :(

#better call saul #lalo salamanca #DFI answers

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Just finished episode 4!! Also made a mood board for Alessandra :)