#this has been in my drafts for six million years

[naeviskz]

genre. idol!hyunjin x model!f!reader | established relationship

words. 1.5k+ tags/warnings. angst, fluff (towards the end), smut, accusations of cheating, hj is lowkey toxic (but we love it hehe), cunnilingus, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, some mentions of crying, not proofread

this has been in my drafts for years and i finally finished it bc i was tired of seeing it LMAO. btw the position i’m referring to is this (nsfw link), i usually hate vids but this was rlly good imo.

“i think we should take a break...” you admit, voice growing shakier as you spoke. this was never something you wish to say in a million years, you wanted this relationship to work more than anything. but you were at your wits end with everything, talking to hyunjin was like conversing with the wall, never truly grasping any of your concerns.

you noticed the cracks beginning to seep in the midst of six months of being with him. he would often be dishonest of his whereabouts, saying he was out late due to “work” but was actually out drinking at some bar with chan or something. it made no sense for him to lie about such trivial things but he does it without even thinking. this was supposed to be a lovely vacation in paris together but lately you’ve grown tired of feeling like you’re unappreciated. a break from each other might be the best solution in getting his act together once and for all.

hyunjin felt his whole body turn limp as you uttered those words. not only was he blindsided by your decision, but you never indicated before to him that you were ready to propose such a drastic idea. “but why though? don’t you think this is a bit random? i mean this came out of nowhere ___, i thought everything was good between us, why are you suddenly saying this now?” his thick, bushy brows furrowed in confusion, he wasn’t letting you off this easy and you know it.

“i just think it’s for the better right now hyune, we’re both so busy. we have a lot on our plate, especially you… and this relationship is just— it’s only putting more strain on everythi-”

“are you serious ___? do you hear yourself? i knew what i was getting myself into the day i asked you to be my girlfriend. i’m well aware that i can’t be with you 24/7, and neither can you—however, i don’t expect that anyway. all i ever wanted was to have you by my side, i want to work through the hardships with you but if you’re so willing to give up like this then… i don’t know. i don’t even know what to say to this honestly..” hyunjin couldn’t help but cut you off, once his emotions take over, all sense of logic and reasoning is thrown out the window.

he was never one to question his worth in the eyes of his partner, but you were his longest relationship, he saw you as his first and only true love. it never occurred to him that he could lose you, the possibility of this break lasting long enough to make your love fade away was a scary revelation. there had to be a way he could fix this, he couldn’t bear to be without you.

“are you seeing someone else? maybe that’s why you’ve been so distant towards me lately…” he wanted to scream for saying that out loud but at least he got it off his chest. he knows how petty it sounds but he didn’t care, he wanted you to give him answers.

“no! i’m not seeing other people, i don’t have an interest in anyone but you hyunjin. i want to do this for the sake of us, we’re clearly not where we need to be and this break could help with getting us back on track and spending time apart could be beneficial.” you try your best to articulate your words properly but he remained unconvinced, he wasn’t on board with any bit of this.

how could you even be okay with something like this? spending time away from you drove him absolutely insane, he couldn’t fathom taking a break—not from someone as important as you in his life. he just needed to remind you that the love was still there, though it may be but a dull flame, he could ignite the spark again, with the little bit of hope he had left.

the foundation of your relationship was built from shared interests, since you both are part of professions that rely heavily on looks, you refused to see each other based solely off those superficial aspects. instead you got to know each other’s minds, your core values and beliefs, what mattered to you the most. you cherished every one of those deep conversations you shared together, it was a beautiful experience, an indescribable memory that shaped your bond forever.

so why is it now that you feel this way? was he really that oblivious to everything? he should’ve done more to prevent this but now he fears it’s too late. he’s faced with the conundrum of losing you and there wasn’t much time for him to stall or ask for a chance of redemption, he couldn’t waste another second.

“fuck that,” hyunjin angrily spat, his face contorting into a look of pure disgust. “you’re not going anywhere.” he reaches out to grab your waist before you could walk away, aggressively pulling you into his chest.

no matter how much you attempt to escape his hold, he’s not letting you go in the slightest. he’s much stronger than you, could easily lift you up without breaking a sweat. there was no use in fighting, you had no choice but to give in and let this conversation go. once his lips crashed into yours, everything faded to black. as if a simple kiss was the cure-all of mending this decrepit relationship.

hyunjin’s forehead pressed against yours as he pulled away, “shhh, lye down baby,” he hushes your quiet mewls, instructing you to do as he says. “gonna make you feel so good,” his hands slid under your skirt, gently rubbing over your clothed slit “you’ll forget everything.”

* :.･ﾟﾟ･ ✿

“oh my- fuckk, hyunjin!” you cry out, almost on the verge of tears just from how skilled he is, rutting your hips upwards into his mouth as he devours you whole.

the pace of his tongue is relentless, roughly lapping up all your juices like he’s the most starved man alive. you’ve lost count at the amount of times he’s already made you come undone just from his mouth alone. your body’s buzzing with titillation, all you can do is scream and clench your pussy around nothing while he fiercely sucks on your clit.

you couldn’t stop twitching, feeling yet another orgasm approaching. your legs anchored over his shoulders, unable to think or speak coherent sentences as his face was fully buried into your dewy cunt. he relaxes his jaw a bit more, going all the way from the bottom inching further up as he comes back in contact with your puffy clit. at any given moment it feels as if your heart’s about to stop.

“hyunjin-” your heads thrown back into the pillow, digging your nails into his shoulder blades from how overly sensitive you are. “n-need to cum.. can feel it. m’so close.” it surprises you when you’re able to even express such words.

a low grunt can be heard underneath, hyunjin loves hearing you— it’s arguably the best part about going down on you. the hand that wasn’t occupied went straight to gripping a fistful of his ebony hair, continuously moaning his name so loud that you genuinely feel bad for whomever the unlucky people that got to hear this.

just when you thought it couldn’t get anymore intense, he slips 2 of his slender fingers inside, making you gasp from the overwhelming sensation. flashes of white invade your vision, violently shaking as your lips form an “o” in the throes of ecstasy. hyunjin knows your body so well that this is nothing for him, he’s got it all down to a simple science. no one knows your body like he does, and especially no one can make you cum as hard as he can.

“go ahead, make a mess for me baby,” he strongly encourages, picking up his pace as his digits fuck into you faster. “just gonna clean it up with my tongue all over again.”

your eyes roll back to the depths of oblivion, feeling an out of body experience when reaching your climax. a slew of curses leave your shaky breath, limbs trembling and faint tears stain your flushed cheeks. hyunjin slows his movements, rubbing his thumb over your clit gently to make you even more sensitive. you love the way he calls you “good girl” and how proud the look on his face becomes while you ride out your orgasm on his fingers. he doesn’t stop showering you with compliments, only ramping up his affection as he plants fleeting kisses to your thighs, hips, and tummy.

once he’s finally come back up for air you grab his face to pull him into your lips again. moaning in his mouth while getting a taste of yourself was probably the hottest thing hyunjin’s ever witnessed.

“can’t believe you’re all mine.” hyunjin whispers against you, gently massaging your aching thighs. “i love you so much baby.”

“love you too hyune.” you instantly say back, feeling more at ease now that things are somewhat back to normal.

maybe a break isn’t necessary after all, how else would you be able to have such earth shattering orgasms?

- 完 ♡︎

#hyunjin angst #skz angst #skz x reader #hyunjin x reader #skz scenarios #skz smut #skz drabbles #stray kids smut #hyunjin smut #hyunjin imagines #hwang hyunjin smut #skz imagines #hyunjin drabbles #hyunjin x female reader #stray kids x reader

[spnscripthunt]

The Supernatural Script Hunt came from humble origins, a handful of fans banding together to collect and preserve our fandom history, making as many scripts as possible accessible to fans worldwide. Since acquiring our first script over five years ago, and then branching out to involve so many fans supporting the work in the years since, it was always our intent to give it all back, and then some.

When we began this project, the fandom collectively had six scripts from five episodes and a single network outline. In the five years since we bought our first script to add to that collection, we are ending the project with a total of 163 scripts from 147 episodes, casting sides from 50+ episodes, 50+ call sheets, arenas from 18 episodes, and other related documents. A complete list of items in our collection is on the SupernaturalWiki, for a closer look, click here.

The time has come for us to offer everyone a final chance to own their very own priceless souvenir of the show and cast we all love so dearly. In doing so, we also want to honor the largest (hopefully!) legacy of our fandom: using our collective power for good. Which is why we're offering up some very special scripts (and a few other items!) in our collection in a raffle to benefit Undue Medical Debt.

Our goal is to raise at least $10,000 so we can erase at least one million dollars in medical debt.

How Undue Medical Debt Works:

You make a donation. They use data analytics to pinpoint the debt of those most in need: households that earn less than 4x the federal poverty level or whose debts are 5% or more of annual income.

Undue Medical Debt buys medical debt at a steep discount. They buy debt in bundles, millions of dollars at a time at a fraction of the original cost. This means your donation relieves about 100x its value in medical debt.

Together we wipe out medical debt. People across the country receive letters that their debt has been erased. They have no tax consequences or penalties to consider. Just like that, they're free of medical debt.

For every $10 you donate to Undue Medical Debt, you will 1) be erasing about $1,000 in medical debt and 2) be able to enter our raffle to win one of the items listed below.

Our Campaign Page

Our Raffle Site

Signed Scripts 

Donated by Eric Kripke:

'Pilot' - "Original pilot that got tossed out -- whole different story -- enjoy this alternative reality Sam and Dean." To be signed by Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki, and Sam Smith at Creation Tour: New Jersey 2024.

2.22 'All Hell Breaks Loose: Part 2' - Yellow Revisions. To be signed by Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki at Creation Tour: New Jersey 2024.

3.16 'No Rest for the Wicked' - Goldenrod Revisions. To be signed by Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki at Creation Tour: New Jersey 2024.

4.01 'Lazarus Rising' - Pink Revisions. To be signed by Jensen Ackles, Misha Collins, and Jared Padalecki at Creation Tour: New Jersey 2024.

4.22 'Lucifer Rising' - Production Draft. "My director's copy - rare! Enjoy!" To be signed by Jensen Ackles, Rob Benedict, Misha Collins, and Jared Padalecki at Creation Tour: New Jersey 2024.

5.01 'Sympathy for the Devil' - Pink Revisions. To be signed by Jensen Ackles, Rob Benedict, Misha Collins, and Jared Padalecki at Creation Tour: New Jersey 2024.

6.22 'The Man Who Knew Too Much' - Production Draft. To be signed by Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki, Misha Collins, and Mark A. Sheppard at Creation Tour: New Jersey 2024.

Donated by Natalie Abrams:

Gotham Knights - 1.11 'Daddy Issues' - signed by show creator/episode co-writer Natalie Abrams and director America Young. To be signed by Misha Collins at Creation Tour: New Jersey 2024. Two winners (script 1, script 2).

Thank you @deanismybuddy (twitter) for making this happen.

Donated by Robbie Thompson:

The Winchesters - 1.01 'Pilot' - Final Shooting Script - signed by Robbie Thompson.

The Winchesters - 1.13 'Hey, That's No Way to Say Goodbye' - signed by Robbie Thompson. To be signed by Jensen Ackles at Creation Tour: New Jersey 2024.

Thank you to Sadie Witkowski and Gabe Garza for making this happen.

Reproduction Scripts:

3.15 'Time is on My Side' - Production Draft signed by Jim Beaver at Creation Tour: Burbank 2024; Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki at Jus in Bello 14; Steven Williams at Crossroads 8.

The Winchesters - 'Pilot' - 4th Network Draft signed by Jensen Ackles at Creation Tour: Burbank 2024; Richard Speight Jr. and Rob Benedict at Jus in Bello 14; Jim Beaver and Alexander Calvert at Crossroads 8.

Gotham Knights - 'Pilot' - Pre-Production Draft signed by Misha Collins at Creation Tour: Burbank 2024.

Walker - 'Pilot Script' - signed by Jared Padalecki, Jensen Ackles, and Richard Speight Jr. at Jus in Bello 14.

Walker: Independence - 'Pilot Script' - Revised Network Draft - signed by Jared Padalecki at Jus in Bello 14; Mark Sheppard at Crossroads 8.

Other Signed Items:

Hardcover edition of Good Omens - signed by Neil Gaiman. Thank you to the staff at The Golden Notebook in Woodstock, NY for being extremely helpful and kind.

Family Don't End with Blood - signed by Jared Padalecki, Jensen Ackles, Misha Collins, and Jim Beaver, donated by @FangasmSPN (twitter).

There'll Be Peace When You are Done - signed by Jared Padalecki, Jensen Ackles, Misha Collins, Alexander Calvert, and Sebastian Roche, donated by @FangasmSPN (twitter).

Hardcover edition of Death (2022) - written by Neil Gaiman, art by Mike Dringenberg, John Totleben, Mark Buckingham, and Chris Bachalo. To be signed by Lisa Berry at Creation Tour: New Jersey 2024.

14.14 Ouroboros - Production Draft - to be signed by Misha Collins at Creation Tour: New Jersey 2024, donated by @_ninalynne_ (twitter). 

"To Be Continued" t-shirt made and donated by @shitannamakes (twitter), signed by Jensen Ackles at Creation Tour: Burbank 2024. 

Dick Jr. and the Volunteers' "Fistfights and Hug-Outs" CD - signed by Richard Speight Jr. at Jus in Bello 14, donated by @Julie_Fleming and @EmilieDK87 (twitter)

Rob Benedict "Leave The Light On" CD - signed by Rob Benedict at Jus in Bello 14, donated by @merenwen76AO3 (twitter).

"Saturday Night Special" CD - to be signed by Louden Swain at Creation Tour: New Jersey 2024 [album is subject to availability at Creation Tour: New Jersey 2024, it may be a different Louden Swain CD]

Crossroads 8 "Supernatural" cast poster (A3 size) signed by Misha Collins, Mark Sheppard, Julian Richings, Alexander Calvert, Jim Beaver, Rob Benedict, Steven Williams, Corin Nemic, Todd Stashwick, and Cindy Sampson. Donated by @AilesduSoleil (twitter).

Crossroads 8 "The Boys" cast poster (A3) signed by Tomer Capone and Karen Fukuhara.

Autographed photos from Crossroads 8 donated by @AilesduSoleil, @Julie_Fleming, @PurpleNurpleSPN (twitter):

Rob Benedict, Alexander Calvert, Tomer Capone, Misha Collins, Karen Fukuhara, Corin Nemec, Cindy Sampson (multiple winners)

Unsigned Items:

AFK pin designed by Phil Sgriccia in 2015 for Jared Padalecki, "only Jared had these pins unless he gave them to you" - donated by @slammtam (twitter)

Jared Padalecki autogragh at Creation Austin, donated by @KLFSPNcons off her Gold badge (Row I).

Supernatural 15 Seasons: The Crew Member's Souvenir - donated by @HanmeiCui (twitter)

Supernatural: The Complete Series Blu-ray - donated by @HanmeiCui (twitter)

Supernatural and AKF themed decorative pillar candles made and donated by @TheGreenCooler (twitter): 

4x3 inch short decorative pillar candles set: "Sam and Dean initials"

5x3 inch decorative candle: #AlwaysKeepFighting "Good morning Starshine. You're still here today."

5x3 inch decorative candle: #AlwaysKeepFighting "Hopeful Daisy"

5x3 inch decorative candle: "Men of Letters"

5x3 inch decorative candle: "Carry On Wayward Son"

5x3 inch decorative candle: "We Are Home"

6 x 4 decorative candle: "Impala on a Hunt" (pic 1) (pic 2) (pic 3) 

Raffle closes on Sunday, June 30 at 11:59pm (EST). Winners will be drawn by a random number generator, we will submit the names to Undue Medical Debt's development staff to confirm the donations match the caps submitted to us on the Google Form, and we'll contact winners by Saturday, July 6 2024. Winners will have 72 hours to respond, and will be required to provide their physical mailing address and to cover the cost of shipping (for scripts it's currently $9.85 for priority mail insured inside the US, international rates and non-script rates to be determined as necessary). 

PLEASE NOTE: IF YOU ARE UNDER 18 YEARS OF AGE AND WISH TO DONATE, PLEASE ENSURE YOU HAVE PRIOR AUTHORIZATION FROM CREDIT/ACCOUNT HOLDER.

As Castiel once told a patron of the Gas N Sip buying a lottery ticket, good luck!

Thank you to our con helpers, we never could have pulled this off without your help: abeautifulswan, AilesduSoleil, deanismybuddy, EmilieDK87, FangasmSPN, HanmeiCui, jennysun23, Julie_Fleming, KLFSPNcons, kreespa, kaurie_mac, marywinchstr, merenwen76AO3, MiaAW90, MysterioAmber, PurpleNurpleSPN, RMelton76, rowwyaboat, SDeeg13, shandataber, SuperWiki, zerbehunter

#supernatural #spn #eric kripke #good omens #neil gaiman #jensen ackles #jared padalecki #misha collins #jim beaver #rob benedict #richard speight jr #mark sheppard #walker independence #cw gotham knights #cw walker #signal boost #admin: lets-steal-an-archive #sensitivehandsomeactionman #aborddelimpala #userbrittany #prizes are still being added #the campaign and the raffle are separate things you aren't automatically entered into the raffle #kripke and edlund follow us in the bad place so i'd say our reach over there has greatly improved 🤯 #long post

[jimhines]

2022 Writing Income

It’s that time again – for fifteen years now I’ve been writing an annual blog post about my income as a writer. Money tends to be an uncomfortable, even taboo topic, but I think it’s important to help counter the myths that we’re all multimillionaires living in Glass Onion-style mansions. (Side note: If anyone wants to pay millions of dollars for my book, I’ll happily update this blog post from my private island mansion.)

Remember, every writer’s career is different, and I’m only one data point.

Prior Years: Here are the annual write-ups going back to 2007: 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021.

In 2016, instead of a personal income write-up, I did a survey of almost 400 novelists about their income.

My Background: I’m a primarily “traditionally published,” U.S.-based SF/F author with 15 books in print from major New York publishers. The first of those books came out from DAW in 2006. I have an agent, and have been with them since about 2004.

I’ve self-published a middle grade fantasy and a few short collections. I’ve also sold about 50 short stories to different magazines and anthologies.

I’ve never hit the NYT or USA Today bestseller lists.

I’m currently the sole parent of a teenager (at home) and a 22-year-old (at college). I have a day job that’s just over half-time, both for the paycheck and the benefits.

2022 in Summary: There’s no gentle way to say this. The last several years have kind of sucked. Losing my wife to cancer in 2019 completely derailed my writing. I was hoping 2022 would be a comeback year, but life had other plans…

I did write and sell two new short stories and one nonfiction piece, which was nice. I’ve got a finished middle grade book that’s been on submission for a while. I finished a standalone fantasy that’s been sitting with my publisher for a while.

Normally, my editor is pretty quick about responding, but last year wasn’t normal for DAW, either. DAW was acquired by Astra House. A lot of their time and energy went into that deal. I’m hoping for the best, but things still haven’t settled into the new “normal.”

Last year did see the release — finally — of Terminal Peace, the third book in the Janitors of the Post-Apocalypse series. I’m thrilled and relieved to see that book in print, but it came out right in the middle of the Astra House acquisition, which may have impacted things like promotion and publicity.

I also finished the first draft and started revising a new standalone middle grade fantasy with series potential.

2022 Income: The biggest check was the publication payment for Terminal Peace. All total, before taxes and various expenses, the writing brought in $13,957.16. While that’s absolutely nothing to sneer at, and I’m grateful for the success, it’s also a dropoff from the past couple of years. To be blunt, if you look at the cumulative graph, things have been slumping a bit.

Income Breakdown:

Patreon has been a small but steady and helpful source of income. My thanks to everyone for that!

As usual, my U.S. novels are the biggest piece of the pie. The short fiction category is a bit higher this year, thanks to those two new stories. I didn’t self-publish anything new in 2022, but if that middle grade book doesn’t sell, I’d like to publish that one later this year.

Novels (U.S. editions): $8,542.83

Novels (Non-U.S. editions): $473.25

Self-Published: $1158.24

Short fiction: $892.86

Audio: $521.04

Patreon: $1668.94

Other: $700

I mentioned earlier that things have been in a bit of a slump, and I need to focus on breaking out of that. Some things I can’t currently control. Tomorrow I could wake up to an offer from DAW on the book they’ve got, and maybe an email from my agent that the middle grade title he’s been shopping around went to auction and got a six-figure advance. But I can’t make these things happen.

Priority #1 is to keep writing. If I’m not doing that, other goals are pretty much moot.

Priority #2 is to figure out some alternate options. It may be time to put more time and effort into self-publishing as a complement to my traditionally published work.

The biggest thing making me anxious is that I’m pretty much out of contract. The paperback of Terminal Peace comes out this year, but for the first time in about 15 years, I don’t have the security, the luxury, or the deadlines of a signed contract. In some ways, this is freeing: I can write whatever I want. But there’s no guarantee as to when things will see print. Submitting to the traditional publishers is a long, slow process…

From talking to other writers who’ve been doing this a while, I’ve learned that pretty much every career has its ups and downs. Personal, pandemic, and publisher issues have been a bit of a perfect storm for me these past few years, but I’m not going anywhere. After 27 years as a writer, I’m excited to see what comes next.

Wrap Up:

I hope this has been helpful. As always, feel free to share the post and/or ask questions.

[wonwoosthetic]

Soompi 240111 🌷 Minnie

< series masterlist

SEVENTEEN’s Minnie joins the cast of the upcoming variety show “Apartment 404”!

The idol singer will be starring alongside comedy legends Yoo Jae Suk and Yang Se Chan, as well as actress Oh Na Ra and actors Lee Jung Ha, and Cha Taehyun. Created by Jung Chul Min, other known as PD Jung, who has already been credited with the hit variety show “Sixth Sense”, the six entertainers will have to solve the mystery behind multiple curious events that occur in their new residence.

tvN’s upcoming “Apartment 404” will mark Minnie’s first ever fixed casting in a variety show made for television! In the past, selected episodes of the idol’s group own YouTube entertainment show “Going Seventeen”, have been aired on TV, gaining her and the rest of the members a lot of national attention, as well as praise.

“I watched the first ever Gose (short for “Going Seventeen”) episode on JTBC, back in 2021 and just couldn’t stop laughing,” PD Jung told the reporter. “I was so surprised how idols could be so effortlessly funny. All of them seemed so smart while reaching such a high level of comedy.”

When asked how the producers came to choose Minnie, Jung Chul Min explained, “It was almost by accident. We were in a meeting and just talking about other possible cast members. Of course, we all knew that we’d need relatable and funny characters that would be entertaining to watch.” After a lot of back and forth, Minnie’s name fell and the room started laughing. “Kim Minnie is a very well acclaimed name, not only within South Korea, but also internationally, so she seemed very out of reach.”

After all, SEVENTEEN have reached the achievements “fastest selling global album of the century”, “first artist to exceed 3 million copies sold in the first day of release in Hanteo’s history”, and “highest pre-orders for albums in history, with 4.6 million sales”.

“But Yoo Jae Suk convinced us to ask her.”

The comedy legend and Minnie had already met years ago during an episode of “Running Man”, where the idol singer had appeared as a guest star. They seemed to have grown closer and kept in touch even after the shoot.

“SEVENTEEN was still on tour and had just finished filming another variety show with Na PD, but she found time to meet up with us and agreed almost immediately,” PD Jung recalled. “She shared her personal schedule and we set up filming dates right away. It must’ve been so busy for her… I remember her telling us that she had just landed and came to set right from the airport. I really respect her dedication.”

Filming for the variety show started last year, already gaining a lot of Carats’ attention when a picture of the cast was posted on Social Media.

Twitter, Instagram, and Naver exploded with interested fans, who couldn’t believe their eyes.

“Since when is Minnie doing variety shows?!?!”

“IS THAT MINNIE FROM SEVENTEEN???”

“Jaesuk and minnie back together after running man😭😭 omg I’m so excited for this”

“Seventeen seems to be doing more tv stuff nowadays, I’m really happy!”

“Whatever this is, you better bet I’m watching it!!!!”

“Casting her turned out to be one of the best decisions I’ve ever made,” the producer admitted. He promised that Carats and variety show fans will be very happy with her appearance.

The show will air on February 15 on tvN and will make its international debut on prime video on February 23. The teaser has already got us on our tippy toes!

I watched the first episode today and remembered I had this in my drafts🙃

#minnie 🌷 #seventeen #seventeen oc #seventeen 14th member #Soompi #articles

[kasienda]

Fanfiction Year in Review 2023

I fill this out every year. It’s become a bit of a tradition for me. Allows me to reflect on everything that I’ve written and kinda think about where I want to go next. And I like it better from the ask games because I don’t have to wait for asks to come in and can compare my answers from one year to the next. ^_^

1 List of fics completed this year in the order they were finished:

Displaced (Ladrien oneshot)

No Regrets (Ladynoir oneshot - smut)

You Don’t Have To Pretend With Me (Platonic Adrino oneshot)

Representation Reveal (S5 Adrinette oneshot)

Kisses in the Rain (S5 AU Love Square - technically multichapter, but it’s shorter than many of my one-shots)

Would Trust You With Everything (Adrino multichapter)

Just An Ordinary Girl (Marichat oneshot)

Love Remains (Ladynoir multichapter)

Spin the Bottle (OT4 with cour four - technically oneshot, but it’s longer than Kisses and has more kisses in it. Haha!)

2 Number of words written: 

Written: 166,114 words

Published: 151,018 words (more than twice 2022’s number!! Go me!!) 

Those numbers are incredibly close together because I haven���t been redrafting as much. Those numbers include six one shots, three completed multi chapters. And another four multi chapter WIPs saw at least one update.

And in another fun milestone! I broke a million words published on Ao3 just this last week!! (I've been writing fic since 2003 and everything I've ever written is on Ao3!)

3 Your most popular fic:

Not Part of the Plan - I suspect that this is mostly because being a teen pregnancy fic, it’s my most tropiest story this year. Haha! 

4 Your personal fav:

Aftermath - This story has usurped Right Behind You as my favorite. I’ve been able to connect to the raw hurt and grief in this story, and there’s something very raw and human about it that others seem to be able to connect to as well. I think it’s some of my best work, and that is also thanks to an amazing beta in @ladyofthenoodle who has lent her expertise in more than one way in making this one more true to lived experience. 

5 Your fav scene:

It’s so hard to pick a favorite!! I narrowed it down to my three favorites in no particular order. 

The last scene in Ch 5 Love Remains - Chat Noir give amnesiac Ladybug a geography lesson from space. It’s got Whole New World vibes, and I just loved the imagery of it.

Ch 4 of Aftermath - I’m particularly proud of Marinette’s panic attack when Adrien tells her she doesn’t have to keep coming over. Like it feels like it comes out of nowhere, but it just totally makes sense. And how it manifests and how she soothes herself (it’s not healthy, but it’s so GOOD!)

Ch 7 of Would Trust You With Everything - The scene where Chat Noir tries to tell Nino who he is, but inevitably doesn’t. And how Nino reassures him through all that. This scene feels so raw, but so heartwarming in light of Adrien’s fears. And I don’t know - it’s beautiful to me.

6 A fic or scene that challenged you:

I really struggled with Right Behind You this year, though it wasn’t for lack of trying! I had started out the year hoping to go back to an update a month here and I only updated it three times throughout 2023. 

This was incredibly frustrating because the initial drafts of scenes would come pretty easily, but I couldn’t seem to make them pop the way the earlier chapters did. The good news is I think I figured out what the issue was. Most of my writing this year has been speed writing. And a big part of that is just where I’ve been emotionally. I’m very very out of practice in editing and redrafting, which this story and Aftermath both definitely need. 

I’ve only been able to edit Aftermath because I’ve had a ton of help. (Thanks Noodles!) Sadly, it’s harder to find betas for rarepairs, but I have succeeded! (Thanks@coffeebanana!)

7 A line of writing you’re proud of: 

“She wanted to be there to see it. To see him.”

This line is way better in context, but I’ve made myself cry about three times with it. And I refuse to explain it because that would give its power away. Guess you’ll just have to go read Aftermath. 

8 A comment that touched you: 

I can never answer this question without mentioning several!! 

Would Trust You With Everything - this story had a ton of enthusiastic followers - way more than rarepair work usually gets, and I wrote this story right after my life fell apart and all the commenters here made throwing this story together just that much more joyful during a time when I REALLY needed it. (I'm looking at you, @bittersweetresilience, @bbutterflies @flightfoot @coffeebanana and so many others that I don't know your tumblr name!!!) Not Part of the Plan Comments - I added sex ed lessons to the end of each chapter here because there’s so much about fertility and pregnancy that people don’t know if typical pregnancy fics are anything to go by, and this seemed to inspire so many people to share their pregnancy stories!!! And these have been so cool because I’ve learned that these stories just don’t often have an opportunity to be shared. And it’s neat that this story with its accompanying lessons could create a space for that!! Aftermath comments - lots of people who have really struggled with moderate to severe depression have apparently felt very seen by this fic. And that a story that is essentially about two characters who feel very alone and like no one can understand can help people feel LESS alone and MORE understood is simply amazing!! I love this story so much!! AHH!! Here's one from @neurovascular-entrapta that meant a lot to me.

9 Something that inspired your writing:

Grief and the need to feel things in a distant abstract-these-are-story-book-characters kind of way so I don’t have to feel my actual feelings as closely every moment of the day really kept me writing the whole year long.

10 Your proudest accomplishment (that one scene; finally finishing that one fic; posting your first fic; etc):

My writing has been really raw and messy this year, and I can’t keep tenses straight to save my life. But there’s something powerful about the rawness that I really like even as all the grammatical errors and the lack of effort on the technical side of most of my stories has driven me nuts. 

I am proud of myself for being able to get back into the big projects in these last few months after not being able to face them from April to October. And I’ve started participating in a few writing events here and there again in addition to working on my own pet projects. 

11 Do you have any writing goals for the next year?

Well, I wanted to finish Not Part of the Plan in 2023, which didn’t happen only barely! So hoping the last chapter and the epilogue make it out within the next month. Once that’s done I think I want to try and make Aftermath and Right Behind You my primary focus projects this year. And of course, I’m sure new plot bunnies and writing events will take over my brain on occasion. Last year, I said I wanted my writing to become a reliable mental health tool for me again, and I’m glad to say that it definitely was that for 2023. I hope I’m able to use my writing this year to continue my healing journey. 

And maybe go and proofread all of the fics I finished in 2023 to fix all the inconsistent tense issues to prepare them for being bound eventually!

12 Anyone you would like to thank?

SO MANY PEOPLE!

@jennagrinsoverml for being one of my oldest fandom friends! For becoming a real life friend for all that we haven't actually met in person. For all the times you vented to me and listened and sent me pictures of your family and gushed over pictures of mine. I'm lucky to know you!

@ladyofthenoodle - for showing up in my DMs, For being a most insightful beta, for dragging me into a larger community over and over again, for listening to both my real struggles and my first world problems, for being my friend!!

@thelibraryloser - I don't know how to put this into words. But I very much look up to you. For your resilience through difficult times - you are role-model for how to handle this world with grace and kindness. Thank you for your stories!

@coffeebanana - for being so enthusiastic in the creation process before and after! When I have a story that is getting no attention one comment from you makes it so it doesn't matter. You give me all I need.

@bittersweetresilience and @wackus-bonkus-maximus for just being so kind and enthusiastic and supportive of any idea I happen to be talking about in any given moment. I guess for enabling me. Haha!

@blur0se and @mila-beedoodling for sharing your ideas and inspiring me to create new things!!

@asukiess, @chocoluckchipz, @sariahsue, @miabrown007 for creating so many beautiful things and for being kind and engaging in so many conversations!

And now, I'm really nervous that I'm forgetting someone because this is the first time where I feel like I've had more than three fandom friends. Haha! It's a good problem to have I suppose. In general, thank you to the miraculous community for helping me to survive this year. <3 <3 <3

Happy New Year Everyone!!

I invite anyone who wants to, to fill this out! (Or something similar because I think it can be modified for artwork pretty easily). But if you do, please tag me, so I can be a cheerleader for all you've accomplished this year!

#year in review #life of a writer #all the fanfiction I wrote this year #2023 #my reflections

[afeelgoodblog]

The Best News of Last Week

Welcome to Feel Good News! Each week, I scour the web to bring you a collection of uplifting and positive news stories. My goal is to provide you with a dose of inspiration and hope to start your week off on the right foot.

This week, I have stories about individuals who are making a difference in their communities, companies that are doing good in the world, and much more. I hope you enjoy reading these stories as much as I enjoyed putting this newsletter together.

Let’s start with:

1. FDA Plans to Allow More Gay, Bisexual Men to Donate Blood

Gay and bisexual men in monogamous relationships would be allowed to donate blood without abstaining from sex under guidelines being drafted by the Food and Drug Administration, people familiar with the plans said.

The change would be a departure from U.S. policy that for many years barred men who have sex with men from donating blood. The FDA policy originated in the 1980s during the AIDS epidemic, when tests for HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, weren’t considered sensitive enough to protect the blood supply.

2. Biden-Harris Administration Makes $50 Million Available to Clean Up Orphaned Oil and Gas Wells on Tribal Lands

There are several thousand orphaned oil and gas wells on Tribal lands, jeopardizing public health and safety by contaminating groundwater, seeping toxic chemicals, emitting harmful pollutants including methane, and harming wildlife. Some of these wells are underwater, which creates an especially high risk of adverse impacts.

3. Golden bandicoots 'breeding rapidly' in the NSW outback 100 years after becoming locally extinct

The first golden bandicoots have been born in NSW's far north-west in 100 years, after formerly being extinct in the region.

Golden bandicoots have been breeding rapidly in Sturt National Park since being introduced to as part of the Wild Deserts project. There are initiatives in place as part of the project to protect native fauna from feral animals. More native species are set be reintroduced to the area and will be confirmed next year.

Cue the Crash Bandicoot references :D

4. Toledo Zoo welcomes twin polar bear cubs

Twin polar bear cubs were born at the Toledo Zoo, the zoo announced Thursday. The parents of the twin cubs are 24-year-old female, Crystal, and 18-year-old male, Nuka.

Crystal’s eighth and ninth cubs’ genders are unknown at this time. They are estimated to make their public exhibit debut in the spring of 2023.

Watch the video of the announcement here:

Feel Good News by Erica @feelgoodnwsToledo Zoo welcomes twin polar bear cubs

5. A Philadelphia woman collects thousands of stuffed animals and brings them to seniors who are in need of a Christmas gift

Santa Claus isn't the only person who travels around with a vehicle full of toys. Every holiday season, Patricia Gallagher fills her car with stuffed animals and drives around Philadelphia. She doesn't give them to kids, she gives them to seniors. 

"Who would think that elderly veterans would want stuffed animals? But they did," Patricia Gallagher said of the project.

6. 150 sea turtles saved from the cold. An aquarium in Boston has been treating "cold-stunned" sea turtles stranded on US beaches.

An aquarium in Boston has been treating "cold-stunned" sea turtles stranded on US beaches. Experts urge the public not to return stranded animals into the water.

Over 150 sea turtles have received treatment this season for "life-threatening medical conditions" prompted by hypothermia in the New England Aquarium, based in the US city of Boston.

7. 'No K-pop on a dead planet': Meet the K-pop stans taking on the climate crisis

What does Kpop4planet do?

Nurul a 23 year old fan from Indonesia and her colleagues have channeled most of their energy into six different climate campaigns. Over 33,000 fans from 170 countries have taken part in them.

The most successful of these has been ‘No K-pop on a dead planet’. It called for K-pop albums to go green by selling digital rather than physical albums, minimizing the packaging and encouraging low carbon performances.

The movement has proved popular with the fandom. For Kpop4planet work two full-time employees along with 20 volunteer ambassadors from nine countries. The group is funded by Action Speaks Louder, a charity registered in Australia who lobby to hold big companies accountable for their climate change promises.

. . .

That’s it for this week. If you liked this post you can support this newsletter with a small kofi donation:

Buy me a coffee ❤️

Have a great week ahead :)

[fushiglow]

Here's my Ao3 wrapped for 2023!

Although it's nowhere near as impressive as some people's, I'm really proud of my writing achievements this year, both on and off my Ao3 account. This is just for my own motivation, so I've collaged together a few different templates I've seen online. Feel free to use it for your own if you like!

Words written this year: 45,705 words published over six months! Now where was this motivation to write during my degrees...?

Works published this year: Five published works for Jujutsu Kaisen, four of which are complete.

Work I'm most proud of: Over the Threshold — for a million different reasons! I've never approached a work with this level of attention to themes and motifs before. I lose perspective sometimes, but it's very fulfilling to write, especially because the setting is personally important to me.

Work that readers enjoyed most: Rivers Crossed, Mountains Scaled — at least judging from kudos and bookmarks. That was a surprise to me considering it's only around a week old! However, the investment readers have shown in the comments on Over the Threshold means *everything* to me.

Fastest work to write: Dream a Little Dream — I wrote it over a few hours at work because of a prompt that captured my imagination. This is *wildly* fast for me!

Slowest work to write: I would say Over the Threshold because it's still a WIP, but let's go with Rivers Crossed, Mountains Scaled because it was in my drafts for six months before I did anything with it.

Number of WIPs I'm taking into 2024: Including Over the Threshold, I think 10 or 11? Most of them are part of a series about Megumi and Gojō's relationship that I've been working on for ages, and there are tons more half-baked ideas flying around that I hope I can flesh out eventually. I wish I was a faster writer!

Favourite character to write: Basic of me, but it's Gojō. No matter how much I write him or study his character, I still never know whether I'm getting it quite right. I find that really addictive!

Favourite line/passage I wrote this year: I feel spoilt for choice which is a pretty nice feeling to have about myself! I'm really proud of the celestial imagery in chapter five of Over the Threshold. It's woven throughout the whole chapter, but if I had to pick one passage, it would probably be this one:

It was simply the truth of the universe that some stars burned brighter than others, and Satoru’s was among the brightest. He shone so brilliantly that the rabble were forced to avert their eyes, bowing their heads in worship of his lonely light. Suguru didn’t want to be part of the rabble. [...] If it was the price he had to pay for really seeing Satoru, Suguru would rather let his retinas burn than look away.

Honourable mention to this description from Dream a Little Dream:

Her eyes instantly found his — wide pools of endless blue in motion peering at her from across the room. He was silhouetted against the window frame, shōji pulled open to reveal the clear and colourless dawn that was breaking beyond. It was still too early for the sun to paint the sky in daubs of orange and rouge, but the monochrome world outside cast the Six Eyes into even sharper relief.

Thank you to everyone who has supported my work this year, whether through leaving wonderful comments that light up my entire week or simply following along. I appreciate every single one of you!

Honestly, I'd love to talk more about my fics but it feels like a vain thing to do unless invited. So, if you ever have any questions or anything, ping them my way and I would *love* to chat with you!

Happy New Year, everyone!

#ao3 wrapped #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk fanfic #jujutsu kaisen fanfic #gojo satoru #geto suguru #fushiguro megumi #iori utahime #satosugu #gojohime #呪術廻戦 #my writing #fushiglow

[billscheft]

I cannot tell you why, but the other night, I flipped through my 1975 yearbook from Deerfield Academy (The Pocumtuck). Cannot tell you why. Cannot tell you the last time I did it. But the answers come in the silence, and in the silence of a week ago Tuesday night, when the email came from Jamie Kempner that Buddy Teevens had gone to Heaven from complications off a catastrophic cycling accident six months ago.....

Deerfield was and is one of several prep schools that every year admitted a handful of PGs (postgraduates) to do a fifth year of high school and get their grades up to get into a better college. Nearly all of them were outstanding local Mass. high school athletes. And probably two thirds of the two dozen came arrived at Deerfield to play football, and maybe something in the winter and spring.

In the best case scenario, you kicked ass in two sports, got a couple of Bs and wound up at Harvard. I saw it happen a good bit in four years. Kevin Carr from Arlington, who has a wonderful four-year hockey career with the Crimson and captained the team. Bob McDermott from Quincy, who played three years of varsity and won the 1976 Golden Helmet Award as the top New England football player in Division One, then returned to Deerfield as a teacher for one year dying tragically in a fire. Peter Bannish, who was a three-sport star from nearby Westfield and got jerked around by Loyal Park for three years on the Harvard baseball team. (Bannish, who suffered from alcoholism, didn't wake up a few years ago. I tried to help him. Maybe not enough). Senior year, Harvard grabbed the star running back from our undefeated football team, Ralph Pollilio from Stoughton. An absolute comet, he started for three years and got drafted by the Patriots. I think he's the mayor of Stoughton now. Or just runs the town.

Harvard did not get Buddy Teevens from Pembroke, Ma. From the day he set foot on the Deerfield campus (as Jamie said, "He fit in from Day One"), Buddy was signed, sealed and destined for Hanover, New Hampshire. As he should have been. If you love Deerfield and want four more years of the same, Dartmouth is the place to go. But before that, there was the business of kicking some PG ass and leading Deerfield to its first undefeated season in God knows how long.

Buddy Teevens was also a human being first and an athlete second. He was warm and friendly and had a million younger siblings who looked like him that came to every game. He was generous and tough, and didn't always have to lead. It just turned out that way. That is the essence of humility. When the seasons changed, he was an absolute star on the hockey team (which he also played at Dartmouth) and a beyond supportive teammate of a fellow infield-outfielder on our 9-3 baseball team.

He was an absolute stud at Dartmouth. I saw him beat us twice, once senior year on his way to winning Ivy League Player of the Year honors.

It was only natural that he would want a career as a football coach, which he once described to me as "A wonderful profession, but a horrible fucking business...."

He had few stops on the journeyman train, building up his resume as an assistant and head coach at Maine before the Big Green called its favorite son home in 1987. His first stint in Hanover lasted four years before Odyssean ambition and humility in Division One filled his resume. Unsuccessful stints as head coach at Tulane, and Stanford, sandwiched around an assistant gig at Illinois and another under Steve Spurrier in Florida. 18 years before returning to Dartmouth in 2005 because, well, wonderful profession, terrible fucking business.

He burnished his legacy as a coach with five Ivy League titles, but it was as a teacher, innovator and mentor that Buddy Teevens became yet again and forever, a man you aspired too. He hired the first female football coach at Division One. He was instrumental in limiting contract drills in practice through a host of technological and practical changes, advancements that have led to inceased safety at all levels.

We are the same age, and of course, he always looked at least ten years younger, a post-millennial Steve McQueen. The irony that someone so fit, so not done on this Earth, would have to leave because of the most freak of happenstances in the middle of the night on an unlit road.

Not many people because better human beings as they get better know. And no, he was not done on this Earth. But then again, Buddy Teevens was never from this Earth.

[bluepinstripes]

2022 Year in Review

tagged by @seek--rest and @abc2411

1. number of stories posted to ao3:

5

2. word count this year:

30,191

3. fandoms i wrote for:

spider-man

4. pairings:

petermj

5. stories with the most:

kudos, bookmarks - just like a movie

comments, word count - when peter met mj (kind of cheating because its multichapter but whatever)

6. work i’m most proud of (and why):

to need somebody

i wrote this for spideychelle week in maybe 40 minutes, and I really like how it turned out. i’ve noticed that when i write petermj, a lot of it (most of it) is about how their relationship is Hard but they continue to choose each other, because that’s one of my favorite things about their relationship in the comics that i’ve read so far. i felt like this fic encapsulates that. this isn’t my favorite fic i wrote in 2022, but it is the first one where i started to get into that part of their relationship, so that’s why i’m proud of it. 

7. work i’m least proud of (and why):

i like and am happy with all the fic i’ve published! i wouldn’t publish it if Eye didn’t want to read it---hence why there’s a lot of half finished shit in my drafts. there’s some stuff on my ao3 that i don’t like that much anymore, but it’s from 2020 and i’d like to think it’s because i’ve grown as a writer since then. 

8. share or describe a favorite review you received:

This is one of my top 3 spideychelle comfort stories. I keep it pulled up incase I need a smile. I love this so much!!! It never fails to make me smile the entire time. Mj calling just to scold him while at the awards is great!

this was on my fic just like a movie, and it came like six months after i published it. it’s pretty much my favorite review i’ve ever gotten! i love that something i wrote became a comfort fic for someone. it meant the world to me fr.

9. a time when writing was really, really hard:

from basically january to june 2022 i did not write a single word because i was submitting grad school applications and then waiting to hear back, and it burned me out so horrifically i could barely answer texts and emails.

10. a scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

i did not expect to write “just like a movie” because while i love coming up with fun aus like that i struggle to translate it from my head to a word doc. like i usually stick with messaging a pal “okay but imagine if mj was at the oscars...” followed by a massive paragraph, and then i’m over it. so no one was more surprised than me that this one actually got published lol.

11. a favorite excerpt of your writing:

But that was then, and this is now, and she’s tired.

“I need time,” she tells him, finally managing to look at his torso. The spider emblem on his chest stares back, mocking her.

MJ can feel his eyes on her, searching her. She wonders what he’ll find. “I can—I can give you time.”

She feels like she owes him an explanation, or at least a semblance of one. He doesn’t have to say anything for her to know that his mind is running at a million miles a minute right now, trying to pinpoint when he messed up, when it all changed. She doesn’t know how to tell him that he won’t find one, and that she doesn’t know either.

She loves him. She loves him just as much as she did when they were seventeen, loves him more, even, now that she knows him as an adult. She loves his smile and the way he smells and his overwhelming sense of responsibility, even when it drives her crazy. She loves the way he looks at her and the sound of his laugh when she tries to cook for them, and she loves the way he thinks.

She doesn’t know when it stopped being enough, or if it actually has. She doesn’t know if this is a passing feeling, if the noose that’s been slowly tightening around her lungs for weeks now will loosen when she doesn’t have to sit up at night waiting for him anymore, or if this is just what it means to have Peter Parker in her life. She doesn’t know if she’ll regret this as soon as he leaves, if she’ll call him back and tell him she didn’t mean it, that she loves him too. x

12. how did you grow as a writer this year:

not many people on here know this about me but i actually am in grad school for creative writing now! i absolutely love it and i feel like my teachers have helped with my writing a ton. a big thing i’ve changed in the last six months is i try not to use as many adjectives, and i use shorter sentences. it’s something i’m still working on. maybe you can’t see it in fic but it’s been more clear to me in original work i’ve written for school lol.

13. how do you hope to grow this year:

this has nothing to do with fic i am trying to get published this year, whether that’s a book deal or in a magazine. i’ve been submitting my work places so i guess we’ll see.

14. who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer:

in terms of fic tbh i feel like i wouldn’t have written hardly anything if seek didn’t hype me up about it. she’s always so excited about people’s ideas, and has always been super supportive :)

15. anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

lmaooooo “just before you go” has a lot of personal stuff 

16. any wisdom you can share with other writers:

idk tbh i would say just write what you would want to read, and it’s a lot easier to write when you put yourself out there and talk to other writers in the fandom. i wouldn’t have published any spidey stuff (or know nearly as much---2022 was the year i started reading the comics and it was like all the stars aligned and the skies opened up)

17. any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

i am SO looking forward to finishing when peter met mj. would also love to finish and post the MITrio fic i’ve been working on since i saw bp2. also i have been Considering a petermj how to lose a guy in 10 days au

18. tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read:

@watsonmj | @ogiroud and whoever else would like to participate i love to read these types of things.

#tagged in #my writing

[narratingvoice]

[[A/N: this post was written in advance and has nothing to do with the plot arc going on right now]]

October 17, 2013. The most important and most joyous day of my life. Nine years ago today. I can't believe how time flies. Nine years that Stanley and I have been together, and I've treasured every moment with him. Just him and me, stepping forward into the unknown together, ready to start a new chapter of life, ready to dive into a wonderful relationship.

I mean a relationship with all of you lovely players, of course! Today is our anniversary! It's the release date of the original Stanley Parable! I made Stanley a cake for the occasion, and by "made" I mean "stole the asset from Portal". For the rest of you, I thought it would be nice to take a stroll into the Memory Zone and look at how far we've come. We were different people back then, so young and naive. We had no idea what kind of impact we would have on the gaming world. Did video games truly exist before 2013? I think not. Won't you come remember with me?

This is a media-heavy post, so here's a cut.

Oh look, it's the very first teaser trailer for the game, posted in 2012. I needed some capital investment to get my game studio off the ground, so I had a campaign on Steam Greenlight well in advance of launch. Remember when that was a thing?

Hm, that's odd, this video seems different than I remember. I'm hearing myself talk about "the original version", but this trailer is for the original version. There was no game at the time I made this. What was I talking about? I've completely forgotten. Oh well, onto the next memory.

And here's the trailer I posted the day the game came out. Look how many accolades we already had on launch day! Oh, I was so nervous about finally showing my work to the general public, I hid in the broom closet the whole night before. Does it surprise you to know that I had stage fright? A lot of people think my silky smooth diction comes naturally, but it's actually the result of practised training and months of rehearsals. Of course, now I've been performing for so long that I hardly know how to stop, haha.

This is Stanley's office viewed from my vantage point. I love looking down at this office more than anything in the world. Letting myself drift through the opening monologue, caressing the hallways with my voice, gently holding the story on my tongue and then releasing it with a flourish. And it will never get old to me, because every day with Stanley feels like a new adventure.

Do you have this achievement? Only 2.3% of players do, but those players are among the most special to me. I get so excited every time I see someone boot up the game on a late Monday night. We can spend the night together, just you and me and Stanley, just looking at the stars and living in the moment. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for committing yourself to me.

Oh, this is a fun memory. This is the introduction I wrote for the special collector's edition, which came out in 2016. I remember the late nights in my office, me and Stanley curled up next to a roaring fire as I read my latest draft to him. He never offered much in the way of feedback, but just the look in his eyes was enough to tell me if I was on the right track.

In 2018, I had the great honour of going on stage at the Game Awards to announce that Ultra Deluxe was in development. It was incredible to see so many adoring fans staring back at me. Um, please ignore the release date in this video. Can't bloody believe the remake of The Last of Us came out this year too...

And now, here we are. We're in the present moment. In the roughly six months since Ultra Deluxe launched, it's gotten over 14,000 positive reviews on Steam. I consider myself somewhat of an empath, and I can feel the love that millions of people around the world have shared for my game. No, for our game. Mine and Stanley's and all of yours as well. May we always feel this way, and if we can't, may we always remember when we did.

#tsp #the stanley parable #original #ask blog

[egg-exe]

7, 17, 18?

HELLO THERE

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

i like the editing phase a lot genuinely. once there's a Very Very Rough Draft down, ideally i spend ten million years spitballing new things to add that improve the og draft. whenever i come up with something that i think is a nice detail it makes me go :D!! most of the things in my writing that i would point out to people if they'd let me were added post first draft

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

answered here

last one's under the cut

18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end. Spicy addition: Questioner provides the passage.

it has been ten million years since i last looked at this piece! but! i think i'm still happiest with this out of any i've written so far (because i did get that ten million year editing period)

It should be chaotic. And it is–there are weapons flashing and bodies pressing and falling around them. The smell of blood and grass trampled underfoot. A distinct hum–a feeling more than a sound–before a spell is launched. It should be chaotic, distracting; too much. 

But instead, it’s easy. It’s so easy. There’s a rhythm here too.

Their sword against another. Metal singing in the air. The moment before an opening, the way time compresses down to an instant. Striking. Again. Again. A quick flick gets the viscera off their sword. Magic washes over them; cuts they didn’t realize they had stitch back numb. 

As natural as a heartbeat, if they had one. As easy as breathing.

this was a memory my dnd character, relic (warforged fighter), has, and is reliving a little as they try to make it through their long rest without giving into their need to move. they have (relatively) recently woken up after a several-centuries long nap (read: was supposed to die, but instead woke up much later) and is readjusting to the new time period (read: was made for war, and fought in the war, and is now in an era of peace, trying to learn in strixhaven).

they have some issue staying still now due to the fact that they woke up, and was covered in plant life, and rust, and could not move until they were found. this is an issue given that warforged's long rest is a period of six hours under which they are immobile, but conscious the entire way (and was the premise of this fic).

aside from this excerpt, i tried to make their narration feels very stilted, and kind of dead. i was very particular about not using literary devices like similes or metaphors etc etc. but here when they relive this battle, and the feeling of combat, i let it become a little more natural. used 'metal singing' and 'magic washes' - a bit more artistic than they would otherwise use.

the idea behind this was to make it clear that this was where relic was most comfortable, and arguably the last time they felt content. they knew what they were doing, back before they "died". and they were good at it, too. even now, at strixhaven, combat remains the easiest thing for them, and the only time where they feel even a little at ease.

that was one of the details i was proud of in this piece. the "omitting literary devices or artistic language purposefully, and then deciding where to put an exception." that was neat

thanks for the ask! twas nice to revisit this one, and it's nice that i still feel like it stands well enough even after time has passed

#egg.txt

[mariacallous]

On September 21, Vladimir Putin announced that Russia would officially begin conscripting people to fight in the country’s war against Ukraine. Contrary to what the bulk of media coverage has suggested, cisgender men aren’t the only people at risk of being sent to war. Some cisgender women and transgender people are at risk of being drafted, too — potentially a lot of them, given that the call-up could apply to as many as 1.2 million Russians. The Feminist Anti-War Resistance and the nonprofit Center-T recently spoke to legal experts about what cis women and trans people should know about the mobilization. Meduza summarizes their advice.

According to Tamilla Imanova, a lawyer from the Memorial Human Rights Center who recently spoke to the Feminist Anti-War Resistance (FAS), the women most likely to be called up for Russia’s mobilization are those who have degrees in certain fields as determined by Russian law: medicine, communications, computer engineering, hydrology and meteorology, printing, and cartography.

“All women are assigned to the third category of Russia’s reserve forces,” said Imanova. “Women with the rank of officer remain in the reserve until 50 years old, while all others are taken off at 45 years old. Unfortunately, the fact that women are in the third [of three] categories doesn’t mean they’ll necessarily be the last to be drafted.”

Instead, she said, who gets drafted will depend on which skills are in demand at the front. And this has already begun to play out: in just the last three days, there have been numerous reports in the Russian media of people with medical degrees receiving draft orders “en masse,” Imanova said.

Certain women in these categories, however, will be spared from mobilization — at least temporarily. According to Imanova, women in the following categories are eligible for deferment:

Women who have at least one child younger than 16 years old, as well as women who are at least 22 weeks pregnant;

Women in reserved occupations as spelled out by the Russian Government (though the only way to find out whether you’re in this category is to asked your employer; the official documents outlining which occupations are reserved are classified)

Women declared temporarily unfit for service due to health issues (for up to six months)

Women responsible for providing constant care to family members or to people with certain disabilities

Women whose mothers have four or more children under the age of 8 and who care for the children in place of their father

Women who work in the defense sector (only for the duration of their employment)

‘Some want to flee, but others can’t — because of their husbands and children’

One woman who works as a doctor spoke to the FAS about how her work has changed since mobilization was announced — and about her fear that she’ll be drafted. As a medical professional, she said, she’s required to report to her local military commissariat if summoned. She’s also not allowed to change her place of residence during mobilization without the military commissariat’s permission.

But because the Russian authorities are trying to have it both ways, maintaining that this mobilization is only “partial,” the doctor has had difficulty keeping up with the specifics, she told the FAS.

“I get my information about the ‘partial mobilization’ and its various odd rules from Telegram channels,” she said. “Every day, it's something new. We don’t get any clear information.”

The woman said a number of employees at her workplace were granted exemptions from the draft, but she wasn’t one of them — and it appears to be too late to get one.

In addition, she told the FAS, the higher-ups at her workplace don’t seem to be concerned about the mobilization at all. “It wasn’t until [September 23] that the head of my department learned that some people hadn’t been granted exemptions,” she wrote, “so 🤡.”

So far, said the woman, nobody at her hospital has received a summons — though it’s only been three days. “There’s one guy who [previously] served in the army,” she said, “and he’s been pale as a ghost.”

She told the FAS that she felt “anxious and panicky,” and that every time she’s found herself idle since mobilization was announced, she’s started shaking. “The other women are in shock, too; some of them are thinking about fleeing the country, while others can’t, because of their husbands and children. [...] The only good thing is that because I’m a woman, I don’t have ‘medic’ written on my forehead, so at least they won’t grab me off of the street.”

A lawyer’s advice for trans people

Despite the fact that Vladimir Putin’s mobilization order doesn’t mention trans people directly, many of them could still be subject to conscription. Center-T, an advocacy group for trans people in Russia, asked Alexander, a lawyer, what trans people seeking not to be drafted need to know.

According to Alexander, if a transfeminine person has a female gender marker in her passport and doesn’t have a degree in a "military occupational" field but was once included in the draft registry, she’s legally supposed to have notified her local military commissariat of her passport change when it was completed. Failing to inform the commissariate is punishable by a fine. Nonetheless, Alexander recommends that anybody in that situation keep quiet for now — unless they receive a summons, in which case he offered a template for requesting to be removed from the draft registry.

Transmasculine people who have male gender markers in their passports are probably not on the military authorities’ radar unless they’ve gone to their local commissariat and requested to be added to the draft registry, Alexander said. There is a chance, however, that somebody could be spotted by a law enforcement official and reported to his local military commissariat, which might require him to register for the draft. In that case, he should insist that he’s unfit for military service when he appears before the medical evaluation board, which every conscripted soldier is required to do before being sent to a combat zone.

In the past, however, the Russian Defense Ministry has done everything in its power to “disown” trans people, including by categorizing them as “unfit for military service” when there’s no legitimate reason to, according to Alexander. Even if a transmasculine person is deemed to be fit for military service after an initial medical evaluation, the lawyer said, he’s legally allowed to submit a written statement demanding an additional one — and that's likely his best option.

[forabeatofadrum]

writey writey askie askies for youuu: 🌈🎉

🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

I admit I try to answer these asks/tag games with fics of the fandom we share (Glee, in this case), but my baby when it comes to this is my CO fic Call Me Maybe, that I co-wrote with @captain-aralias. I am no stranger to using my own life and experiences for fic but oh my GOD Call Me Maybe not only lifted from my own life, but it also felt like a way to express my struggle with one specific thing in fiction writing: ROMANCE!

Romance. Yeah. Weird. I write fics about romantic ships and I love doing it, but I have talked several times on this blog about how my aroace ass does struggle with it, because I have no idea what the fuck I am doing. I had a huge convo about it with @thnxforknowingme, which I should find again, and there is a post that's been in my drafts for almost a year, I think, which is a reply to something @quizasvivamos said about this (fun fact, that draft has been on my mind lately).

What is romance? Bro. That's the million dollar question. What is attraction? Who knows! So Call Me Maybe was kind of my way to express that. It started out as a shippy fic, but Aralias let me change it into a friendship fic (thanks!) after I tried to turn it into a shippy fic as well, but it just wasn't working. And then I realised that this not working is the story. Agatha tries to make it work. Agatha wants to have feelings for Ginger, and she is confused and somewhat angry at herself when she doesn't have them. She loves Ginger so much, but she also doesn't love her like that and what is wrong with her? Shouldn't she be in love with someone? Writing wise, it wasn't the hardest to write (that's Ebb & Flow, lol), but if I focus on the second part of the question: it really was a way to express my struggle with the theme of romance.

Now I don't think I am bad at writing romance. If I did, people probably didn't read all my versions of Kurt and Blaine or Simon and Baz or Jack and Bitty falling in love. But it's always a bit anxious to do, since I really have no clue what I am doing.

🎉how often do you celebrate completing & posting a work? how often do you give yourself the credit/validation that you seek from others when you post? (if you don’t, you should!)

I celebrate posting my work by obsessively reading my work. I love reading my work, mostly because it is easy to read. I already know what is going to happen, ya know? And there are some parts that make me go "hot damn I wrote that". Re: validation, I actually don't really seek that after I post, but mostly before I post. I love the feedback I get during Wip Wednesday or Six Sentence Sunday. Not saying that comments etc. after I completed it don't make me feel happy 😊, but I notice that I love that people are there during the process.

#ask #special-bc-ur-part-of-it

[wyrmalien]

Elwood for the character bingo [activates your autism]

ACTIVATES MY AUTISM LETS GO

He's so. words. he starts out as Just Some Guy and then the horror slowly builds up through the story culminating in Walter's death which changes him permanently. which he beleives to be ultimately responsible for, first for encouraging Walter's studies and then for failing to watch over him on May Eve and May 1st (I think about the reading of "I told Walter he could come downstairs in sleep in my room meanwhile, I would keep watch during the night." "That was good of you my son." "No, father, I failed him!" "I'm sure you did your--" "We talked late into the night about Keziah and Brown Jenkin and about the possibility of travelling to other dimensions...I only made things worse!" That's a lot of words. but. clenches fist. they're read SO WELL in the rock opera I think about them all the time)

In the short story he has a nervous breakdown and is sent to arkham sanitarium for a year (it isn't specified in the short story Who sends him there or if he even sends himself there but regardless I think about it). This doesn't happen in either HPLHS versions as in both he goes to Fr. Iwanicki (who existed in a 1st draft of witch house but howie wrote him out), the DART production he has been recommended by Joe Mazurewicz, the rock opera he is a Catholic going to confession. The voice acting (and writing!) of both are very very good indicators for how horribly this has impacted him. The DART production, he's very quiet, awkward, stutters, and several directions written into the script include Elwood having difficulty getting sound out. The contrast between this Elwood and the Elwood of the past (of which we of course meet as he starts to tell his story) is STRIKING. Like. Past Elwood is loud and confident and very Normal. Right away you can tell something very very bad happened to almost completely inverse his personality. In the rock opera, there's a shorter amount of time to get all of this out though the way he speaks is still a constant, and being Catholic, he is asked when his last confession was:

FATHER IWANICKI Yes, my son. Go on. When was your last confession?

ELWOOD Five weeks, Father. Thirty-seven days ago. That’s eight hundred ninety one hours. My last confession was fifty-three thousand, four hundred sixty minutes ago. More or less.

FATHER IWANICKI Alright. What do—

ELWOOD Three million, two hundred seven thousand, six hundred seconds...

He’s become obsessed with that date. Thinks about this forever. This is of course not to mention the entirety of Between Reality and Dreaming, where Elwood, the Catholic, says this:

FATHER IWANICKI + MONKS Faith in God restores man’s life

ELWOOD Belief in God is a delusion!

Normal Catholic things to say :) And of course the whole “I’ve lost all sense of my identity” and “now I’ll never sleep again/I envy those who live in ignorance” lines

There is also the line at the end of BRaD, where Elwood sings “Am I dreaming?” (echoing a prior song sung by Walter) and Nyarlathotep follows that with lines sung in a song about praising Azethoth. These are the last lines we hear from Elwood. Now that Walter is dead, the horror lives on in him :)

tldr i love to see a Normal Guy weighed down by grief and forever changed by their experiences. there are multiple ways I like to think about what happens to Elwood after the whole ordeal, and because no adaptation goes into it all of these are right and i am correct about everything. He either follows that path, the path Walter took, as implied(? sort of) in the rock opera, or he returns to live in one of the neighbouring houses until the witch house is eventually demolished. i have Thoughts about the last one with the house becoming a point of obsession with him.

This is a side note because i couldn’t find where to shove it in in the above discussion but i like how he gets dragged into the madness a little too because of his devotion(? theres a better word than that) to walter. at the beginning he acts as an anchor of reason, recommending the campus doctor & hurrying walter home when he thinks he sees her in an allyway when they’re walking back from miskatonic. then it becomes he becomes interested in walter’s dreams, like there’s a specific part where walter is recounting his experiences and is terrified, but elwood is fascinated. it gets to a point where elwood helps him with his studies, rows him out to the island on the river, and even just straight up steals the necronomicon from the library for him. He helps him try to discover what the figure broken off the balustrade is, and of course the dreaded week before May Eve when they talk constantly of the possibility of traveling dimensions.

and can you believe that essay was all only commentary on the first square i crossed out? theres more :) but shorter i promise

Done dirty by the creator and wasted potential is obvious, he’s a lovecraft character. thank you HPLHS for fixing both of these and making him the most guy to ever. I’m constantly rotating him in my brain is that wasn’t clear enough already :)

there are. so many Elwood songs. i need to make a separate playlist for each of the characters right now theyre all shoved into one 6 hour playlist hold on let me just. okay it’s real now

he CERTAINLY doesnt have enough screentime in the original. HPLHS fixed that thank you HPLHS but he shows up halfway through the story & no he should be there from the BEGINNING.

anyways. i think if there was a witch house fandom they would get him all wrong. i think he would be a very fun npc in a witch house scenario. im really normal about this guy cant you tell

#thank you rev for activating the autism #asks #ditwh

[cassie-moore]

Making late lunch-been working like crazy calls w 12 countries now time zone is peace for a bit

Glance at this - have a draft

I didnt log feeling draft-reading back on it. My feelings are always so raw late at night. Maybe because my heart is more open and i allow my thoughts/mind and heart to communicate. I feel like during day I block them from eachother (maybe a survival tactic i developed to protect my heart idk)

Last nights raw…

TR whole thing to feel 5/16

Got an alert he posted im too afraid to look at moment or i wont be able to get that sleep. Too much info in my dm, and im too sick of seeing her. Dont know if shes w him again out there. But if i saw her out there w him i wouldnt be able to even process it let alone check absorb that before i went to sleep. If shes not there w him, im sure shes sending him selfies of her face prob looking pouty that shes not w him. Or if he asked her not, it would prob last a week and then pick right bk up when she got comfortable again. Because its who she is.

Been seeing pictures of her taking pictures of the sidewalk or herself for an entire year of my life. If anyones posts could make someone feel like theyre losing braincells, its hers.

Its somehow not even the posts or array but more the fact that you know that prob six of her seven days a week are centered around her posting on the gram

I dont get it, yet he must think thats normal for a girl? Idk

By my late twenties i had my series 7 63 65 and 31. Had already lived for a couple yrs and been an actress in LA, Built a $65 million dollar book of business that had nothing to do w my dads team at ms

Fck.. The Ptree Group manages like $14 Billion in assets now, and just landed The Weather Channels stock plan

Point - im so damn terrified inside my heart that he is will choose this chick forever. I dont know if Id be more depressed for myself or for him . Having to watch her alongside him was like watching paint dry for a year (literally) …i cant do it anymore

My average looking non-famous guy friends said theyd choose me no question over that (two saying they didnt find her attractive), but yet the man of my life who stamped his name in music so hard that he has fan girls scrambling in their heels everywhere around the globe chooses to be in an actual relationship with her. Potentially even marriage. The whole thing has felt like a mind fuck for me to wrap my head around and my biggest fears lies in the fact that the only part that makes sense for me exists in his arms

Thre it is. Yearning ache again

I just feel like deep down shes a girl shell of person his persona g-e would have entertained for a night before but now, deep down i just feel like the real Gerald would no way green earth give up his intellect or creative or drive to appease her laziness and ever stay happy about it

Log all these feelings, sleep them off, come out of cocoon, take a hot shower - crawl in bed. Think about how nice if would be in bed with him - under covers naked w him - fall asleep to that

[speakingagain]

4/12/2024

It's been a hot minute since I posted. 3 weeks I think? I apparently forgot to post the last post but it was saved as a draft till I just opened the app.

I don't know why I'm explaining, no one will read this anyways. Maybe I will, in the future. I guess I should start adding dates to the top so I can get general time lines of my nonsense.

Hi future me. I hope your time has been going better than mine has been recently.

Our life these past few weeks have been absolutely garbage. This week especially. Today, the most. I'm feeling very discouraged.

I feel like an absolute failure. I feel like I can't do anything right, especially with these kids.

Mom suggested I quit and find another job. I haven't had as many jobs as I have just this past year. To be fair, it's only 4. And I worked two jobs at once for the last six months. But four jobs in a year?

That's not me...I spent 2 years working for Allied. Then another 2 at the RTC. I had three jobs in 5 years. I'm loyal to a fault.

I guess I can say I'm not tolerant of toxic work situations as much as I used to be....I dunno. I also like to find the positive in everything.

I just....I had such high hopes for this last year. I wanted to be living in New York by now with my sister. I wanted to be going back to school. I wanted to be closer to paying off my debt. I wanted to be making progress in things.

Just since April started, I lost my part time job, my health Insurance and therefore my therapist, and my will to live. I feel like I'm taking steps back.

I know. I know that progress isn't linear. I know that progress goes in a million directions and circles and bla bla bla. I know.

I know that it will get better. I know that I'm still making progress. I know that I'm better than I was a year ago. I know all that I just need to look at my goals and adjust as necessary and maybe break down my goals into smaller chunks.

But dear God, I feel like I'm such a failure.

I turn 25 this year.

I live with my mother because my marriage was an abusive failure.

I've lost three jobs in a year.

I lost my therapist.

I still can't afford to pay all my bills.

I've been toeing the edge of the line of spiralling. Like the line is narrowing by the day. I have no reasoning to not SIB other than "nah we shouldn't do that."

At what point am I supposed to be able to look at the opportunity to self sabotage and not want to do it for reasons other than 'its not healthy'?

Like duh, I know that. But it makes me feel alive in the moment, and that's more important to me right now. I want to feel something other than like a disappointment or a piece of shit or a failure or any other negative thoughts I can scrounge up at the moment.

I really hate being so self aware sometimes.

I miss being ignorant of my functions of behavior and knowing that I'm doing it for 'x' reasons and that there are ways to alter, decrease and replace that behavior.

I miss just doing the dumb thing and watching shit unfold.

Is that crazy?