d3ath-at-paradise - Tumblr blog

d3ath-at-paradise · 27 days

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confession time everyone I saw this video on twitter of a girl deep throating a guy and throwing up while she did that and vomit going alllll over her face like coveringgg her face I’m actually not even joking i havent eaten in 3 days because of it because every time im in the vicinity of food i just get reminded of thr video no joke

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d3ath-at-paradise · 27 days

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”Your ed will kill you” Thank the fucking lord

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d3ath-at-paradise · 27 days

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Man oh man I looove edtwt !!

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d3ath-at-paradise · 28 days

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not even death wants me

#eating disoder trigger warning #ed relapse #tw ed sheeran #tw ed but not sheeran #ana male #ed disorder #tw restrictive ed #ed vent #tw disordered eating #disordered eating thoughts #disordered eating mention #tw eating issues #disordered eating cw

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d3ath-at-paradise · 28 days

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d3ath-at-paradise · 30 days

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hi just a reminder that making fun of fat ppl doesn’t make you any skinnier xx

#ana e mia #ed relapse #tw ed sheeran #tw ana trigger #ana male #eating disoder trigger warning #tw ed but not sheeran #ed behaviour tw #ana meal #tw restrictive ed #ed vent #ed disorder #ana trigger #anarex14 #anor3c1a #anorexcya #anorexies #anorexigenic #anoreksik

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d3ath-at-paradise · 30 days

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What it’s actually like being low BMI

This is coming from someone who is BMI 11.2

People don’t “admire” you like they think you will. Nobody will be jealous of you, people will get grossed out by you.

You wouldn’t be able to wear all the cute clothes you think you will at your UGW. You’ll be so freezing, all the time. No matter how hot it is outside, you’ll be cold. It will be impossible for you to wear cute clothes.

Boys. You think boys will say cute shit like “Oh my gosh, you’re so light! I could pick you up so easily!” But in reality, they say things like “You can’t defend yourself when you’re that tiny” or “You’re so easy to hurt now”

You’ll never reach your UGW. You will reach your first UGW… but that won’t be enough. You’ll keep lowering it. You’ll never be satisfied.

Nobody is telling you “Oh my god you’re so tiny” in an admiring way. They’re grossed out. To you, balding, having a sunken in face and looking corpse-like may be attractive in your eyes, but most people think you look ugly. Sorry.

Your personality changes.

Loss of period/permanent damage to fertility

Nobody turns their head to look at you. You don’t just magically become a model just because you’re underweight.

Let’s say you finally reach your goal BMI. Nice. Have fun enjoying your thinness! Also, your muscle failure and organ failure and brain fog and blue lips and purple feet and balding head

You will shit yourself at least 3-5 times a week.

You will regularly piss yourself.

Guess what? Just because you’re skinny doesn’t mean people will care about you any more.

You’ll still feel the same as you did at your SW.

You’ll get insulted about your appearance. Mostly everyone thinks looking dead is not hot. So when you have a balding head and deep eyebags, people will comment on it and it ain’t gonna be nice.

You’ll start to be scared of ALL food— including safe foods, and generally healthy foods.

No libido

HONOURABLE MENTIONS

—“I’m built different this won’t happen to me” Sorry to break it to you buddy but that’s simply not true. It will happen.

—The “if you’re at your ugw you can sit on laps without being called heavy!” name one occasion you’ll sit on someone’s lap. And don’t say “when I have a gf/bf/partner!” Because people typically don’t want to date someone who’s likely to go into cardiac arrest at any moment.

—“If you take vitamins then the side effects will be reduced” No. Vitamins won’t save your organs.

—If you loose weight in an unnatural way you won’t sustain that weight. Sorry.

Be safe. Get help.

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d3ath-at-paradise · 1 month

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The sexual tension between me and st⭐️rving myself until i love my body is crazy

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d3ath-at-paradise · 1 month

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🥖ANA Grocery List🥬

(for those who don't know where to start or just hate making lists)

Fridge

PH Balanced Water

Unsweetened Soy Milk (has better protein than almond/oat)

Vegetable Broth

Sugar Free Jello

Brown Eggs (liquid egg whites work too)

Low Fat Cream Cheese

Babybel or White String/Shredded Cheese

Provolone or Swiss Cheese Slices

Cucumbers (i prefer mini ones!)

Baby Carrots/Shredded Carrots

Plain Hummus

Sugar Free Natural Fruit Preserves (blackberry is my go to)

Sugar Free Powerades/Gatorades (electrolytes!)

Diet Coke (i don't drink it but i know y'all do)

Sugar Free Monster/Red Bull (also don't drink these but w/e)

Diet Cranberry Juice (for the girlies)

Zero Calorie Dressings

Low Sodium Soy Sauce

Plain Greek Yogurt (i say this but i always cave and get vanilla cuz plain is so nasty to me)

Apples (i buy them pre sliced)

Spinach/Kale/Lettuce (i buy this as a prepackaged blend of all 3)

Kombucha

V8 Vegetable Juice

Berries (raspberries, blueberries, blackberries)

Melon Slices (or cantaloupe)

Sugar Free Squeezable Applesauce

Avocados (i buy them already mashed)

Bananas (i refrigerate them idk)

Whole Grain/Wheat Bread (dave's killer bread is my go to and yes i refrigerate bread too lol)

Keto/Low Carb Spinach or Tomato Wraps

Cherry Tomatoes

Tofu Cubes

Lean Deli Turkey

Low Sodium Tuna Packets

Sun Dried Tomatoes

Baby Pickles

Grapes

Mandarin Oranges/Cuties

Diet Green Tea

Lemons

Freezer

Grilled Chicken Strips

Spring Rolls

Frozen Fruit Blends

Frozen Broccoli

Veggie Burgers

Salmon/Tilapia

Pedialyte Popsicles

Veggie Spirals

Cauliflower Rice

Diet Frozen Yogurt

Ice

Pantry

Plain Rice Cakes

Canned Veggie Soup (i get chicken and rice soup lowkey)

Pasta Sauce (i like newman's own)

Sweet Potatoes

Boxed Vegetable Noodles

Konjac Noodles

Plain Popcorn (i buy them in bulk kernels and keep them in a mason jar)

Protein Bars (clif bars are my fav)

Fiber Bars (for the girlies who haven't shit all week)

Unsalted Whole Almonds

Pistachios

Plain Rolled Oats

Sugar Free Dark Chocolate (i get the mini hersheys ones so i don't overeat)

Plain Black Coffee

Green Tea Packets

Sugar Free Granola

Cereal (i like great grains, kashi, etc)

Cinnamon (cinnamon gum too)

Chili Powder (or any spicy seasoning)

Hot Sauce

Natural Peanut Butter (a spoonful of this is a lifesaver)

Nutella

Everything Bagel Seasoning (i throw it on everything)

Wheat Thins or Wheat Crackers

Seaweeed Chips

Raw Honey

Quinoa

Olive Oil (or any vegetable oil)

Almond Flour

Stevia (or turbinado sugar)

Electrolyte Packets

(u can add more stuff this is just all i could think of)

now go forth and shop❣️

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d3ath-at-paradise · 1 month

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A4a rant

I genuinely never understood what ppl meant when they always said “once u lose the weight you won’t be happy the way u think u will be” and like it never actually hit me until I got to my lw. Like ik it’s a “no shit” typa thing. But the when reality hit like a year ago that this is no longer a crazy quick little cute diet anymore, it’s rotted my brain, and ruined my organs just so I can see the number go down. I was super happy when I got to my lw but even after that it wasn’t the end. I needed to lose more. My biggest fear was that this “diet” would become my life. And it has. And it’s genuinely sad, ik we romanticize it a lot just to get through the starving. But it’s kinda Heartbreaking that this is life for us. That we look at food and become calculators. It’s sad that we lie to ourselves and have GW or UGW just for us to reach them and start over, with a whole new goal. Lots of us started young, but the thing is this will always be apart of us now. Even recovery at the end of the day is hardly the end for us even though it should be. Idk I think all these motos and mantras we throw around are just so fake. I mean this all is. All of us know, this isn’t going to end at our ugw. We will not be happy at our ugw. By the time u get there, ur ether dead, or on the train to death. Idk. Seems like this is all just a big lie, but it really is a comforting one. To lie to ourselves and others, to say that when we get to our ugw we will be happy. We all know, that’s never the end, and it never will be. This 3d is our life, it is our brain chemistry, it is a big lie we all believe in together. That in itself is a different type of bittersweet.

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d3ath-at-paradise · 1 month

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Who’s active in March 2024

My old account just got T Worded :(. I lost all of my followers and moots. I’m depressed I had just started that page and was finally getting followers and making friends.

I made this new ED vent account, I need new accounts to follow & I wanna make new friends! I need motivation and some 18+ buddies to talk about life and goals with!!

I also made an 3d vent account on insta! Come on over and add me:) let’s be buddy’s. Feel free to DM me!

EdVent: _cibophobiac

Please block! Don’t report!

This is my safe space

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d3ath-at-paradise · 1 month

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Guuuys. If you want the ultimate motivation look at #feederist on tumblr.

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d3ath-at-paradise · 2 months

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”god gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers—“ WHEN DID I ENLIST HOE??? WHO TF?? WGAT??? BITCH I DIDN’T ENLISH FOR HAVING AN ED WHY DO I GET THIS BATTLE MF

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d3ath-at-paradise · 2 months

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ed distractions

all of this is from distractions.carrd.co!!

out and about - ☆ people-watch ☆ sit outside ☆ go window shopping ☆ try out clothes w/o buying them ☆ get a mani/pedi ☆ cloud-watch ☆ make a shopping list ☆ go on a shopping spree ☆ find a new location in your city to visit on google maps ☆ go stargazing ☆ go to the library ☆ go thrifting ☆ pick flowers ☆ go to a new coffee shop you haven’t been to ☆ go camping ☆ go to a museum ☆ go to a park and draw people walking by ☆ see a movie in theaters

moving - ☆ play tennis ☆ ride your bike ☆ go swimming ☆ make your own workouts ☆ swing ☆ make a playlist of workouts ☆ climb something ☆ go for a jog ☆ take a walk ☆ go hiking ☆ do some yoga ☆ do your work out routine ☆ pilates ☆ stretch

creative - ☆ draw, add a pos over it and draw all over again ☆ make a collage out of book pages ☆ make flower arrangements ☆ style your school uniform ☆ copy celebrities’ signature looks w things in your closet ☆ draw many puzzle pieces ☆ make your own zentangles ☆ create your own signature symbol ☆ dry flowers and make a flower diary ☆ learn to crochet ☆ make gift cards for your friends ☆ make a google docs template ☆ copy tattoos w a marker ☆ make stickers ☆ create your own digital museum ☆ make friendship bracelets ☆ make a diy bath bomb ☆ make a movie ☆ tye dye a t-shirt ☆ make playlists for moments ☆ write a letter ☆ decorate an envelope ☆ write jokes ☆ scribble and turn it into a drawing ☆ splash paint onto paper ☆ try to recreate art ☆ recreate notion/carrd pages you see online ☆ make a graphic novel ☆ build a fantasy world ☆ draw a map ☆ draw a webtoon ☆ decorate a notebook ☆ collect dried leaves ☆ make tattoo ideas ☆ do commissions ☆ draw pixel art ☆ make powerpoint templates ☆ make a subliminal playlist ☆ make edits of ppl ☆ make a notion template ☆ write a cringey wattpad novel ☆ write fanfiction ☆ decorate flower pots ☆ paint your phone case ☆ make diets for your fav characters ☆ write a love // hate letter ☆ make lyrics out of random words ☆ paint rocks ☆ decorate a hat ☆ cut out your clothes to make new ones ☆ up-cycle thrifted clothes ☆ draw on your wall ☆ make a bullet journal ☆ doodle on anything around you ☆ memorize a poem/song ☆ come up w original thread ideas ☆ make jewelry ☆ make soap ☆ crochet // knit ☆ draw a self-portrait ☆ draw w your eyes closed ☆ scrapbook ☆ paint some cloth ☆ animate something ☆ start a dream journal ☆ start a blog ☆ bake a cake ☆ cook something new ☆ create new outfits ☆ color ☆ learn origami ☆ draw an original character and give them their own backstory ☆ color-code your google calendar ☆ draw your dream home in detail ☆ paint on a canvas bag ☆ make a jar filled w movie titles and pull one out randomly to watch ☆ start your own private instagram account as a digital diary ☆ write a screenplay ☆ direct your own movie ☆ make lists

educational - ☆ research a random topic (then make a presentation on it) ☆ learn all the countries on a certain continent ☆ learn all countries’ capitals ☆ educate yourself ☆ catch up on current events ☆ go on a study space and study ☆ join a google classroom ☆ take a masterclass ☆ sign up for a course ☆ practice public speaking ☆ finish your assignments ☆ improve your memory ☆ memorize things ☆ organize your notes ☆ learn a new study technique ☆ learn morse code ☆ annotate a book ☆ learn curse words in other languages ☆ learn how to play an instrument ☆ pick up a new skill ☆ learn some psychology tips ☆ learn some cool facts ☆ learn a new language on duolingo ☆ learn about finances

hang out with yourself - ☆ induce a glow-up ☆ induce your honeymoon phase ☆ choose a signature smell ☆ interview yourself ☆ write about your day ☆ figure out a crisis you’ve been having ☆ romanticize your life ☆ get a signature look ☆ get on another twt side ☆ use subliminals ☆ put all your thoughts on paper ☆ decorate your personal journal ☆ watch a childhood movie ☆ go through your old playlists ☆ discover a hidden talent ☆ ask yourself weird questions ☆ write a love poem to yourself ☆ make a goal list ☆ create a vision board ☆ make a time capsule ☆ look at old photos ☆ write a will ☆ practice gratitude ☆ declutter your phone ☆ practice meditation ☆ make an online quiz about yourself ☆ create a five-year plan ☆ plan out your week ☆ write three short-term goals ☆ work on current goals ☆ use a body scrub ☆ do a hair mask ☆ take yourself out on a date ☆ plan YOU days ☆ journal your feelings ☆ write letters to your future self ☆ make a top-10 list of your fav anything ☆ examine your birth chart ☆ color or cut your hair ☆ start a happiness jar ☆ write down your manifestations // affirmations ☆ watch self-improvement videos ☆ give yourself a spa day ☆ update your resume

social life - ☆ facetime your friends ☆ interview someone ☆ do a virtual meet-up w friends ☆ get a penpal ☆ learn about recent drama ☆ boost your socials ☆ talk on spaces w your moots ☆ volunteer ☆ contact an old friend ☆ plan a meet-up w friends ☆ call a relative ☆ plan fun outings // themed nights for you and your friends ☆ hug someone

at-home - ☆ take a cold shower ☆ re-organize your bathroom ☆ try on your clothes ☆ take a bubble bath ☆ visit a digital museum ☆ paint your nails ☆ do a movie/book/game marathon ☆ clear out your closet ☆ drink water ☆ put together a skincare routine ☆ go through your emails ☆ use a bath bomb ☆ do a face mask ☆ plan your meals ☆ re-arrange your books ☆ clean your room ☆ have a picnic on the floor ☆ stick pictures to your walls ☆ organize your drawers ☆ redecorate your room ☆ clean your makeup brushes ☆ declutter your makeup ☆ organize your photos ☆ clean your electronics ☆ do your laundry ☆ take a nap ☆ make a fort ☆ clean your desk area ☆ print posters and decorate your walls ☆ brush your teeth ☆ back up your laptop and phone ☆ update your passwords ☆ clean your car

just for fun - ☆ pretend you’re vlogging ☆ plan a trip ☆ copy ppl’s insta stories ☆ pretend you’re a model ☆ plant a flower/tree ☆ play uno or another card game ☆ play scrabble ☆ make a tournament of a game like “true american” in new girl ☆ make an amazon list ☆ learn dances ☆ do a makeup tutorial ☆ play loud music ☆ do buzzfeed quizzes ☆ read a webtoon ☆ look at memes ☆ look at thinspo ☆ make a youtube channel ☆ watch vlogs ☆ count your money ☆ discover new makeup styles ☆ tweet something stupid ☆ google yourself ☆ read fanfiction ☆ find new music ☆ write online reviews ☆ read shein reviews ☆ sing karaoke ☆ play never have i ever ☆ play with bubbles ☆ try to rap ☆ recreate your fav movie scenes ☆ make a shrine ☆ make a treasure hunt ☆ play chess // checkers w yourself ☆ start a controversy over a stupid topic ☆ donate some money ☆ learn to hula-hoop ☆ do a sudoku ☆ save tweets to your bookmarks ☆ make a tbr list ☆ go through old ana forums ☆ take a survey ☆ make a wishlist for when you reach your ugw ☆ make an elaborate conspiracy theory ☆ play w legos ☆ start a new show ☆ make a new playlist ☆ listen to a podcast ☆ surf pinterest ☆ read a book ☆ make a bucket list ☆ shop online ☆ sell clothes online ☆ test out a new hairstyle ☆ look up recipes online ☆ watch true crime ☆ watch a rom-com ☆ play video games ☆ redo your phone layout to a new theme ☆ watch a yt documentary ☆ start your own cult ☆ try dimension shifting ☆ record your own videos of you talking to yourself ☆ re-organize your pinterest account and all your boards ☆ scream into a pillow ☆ go through the app store and look for cool apps

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d3ath-at-paradise · 2 months

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”girl you ATE and left NO CRUMBS.” haha. i didn’ttt ☺️☺️☺️ stop lying to me silly goose ☺️☺️☺️☺️ i only drank green tea today ahaha. ☺️☺️ no food eaten ☺️☺️

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d3ath-at-paradise · 2 months

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my boyfriend is actually driving me insane bro he’s always on my ass about eating but he’s such a hypocrite. And it’s not in the “im concerned for you way” he’s trying to force me to eat, like physically force me. Whenever he expresses concern for me it’s always in such an aggressive and overly confrontational way, it’s so fucking tiring. it just gives me more motivation to st⭐️ve. he’s like “if you keep doing this to yourself you could die” ok but you’re literally a meth addict?? are u fr gonna tell me my habits are going to kill me when you’re addicted to meth?? Fuck

#ed vent #tw vent #ed behaviour tw

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d3ath-at-paradise · 2 months

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“eat for me” nty ☺️

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