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caniruineverything · 10 months

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for you, there's nothing in this world i wouldn't do

bonus: a karen, brotherly banter, and ice cream

Summary: While on a walk, Ben forgets he's alive, and makes a rude comment. He gets himself into a bit of a situation, but Klaus is able to sort it out in the end.

Someone save Ben from himself. Please. He was aware that he clearly needed it. It wasn’t fair for Klaus to have to do it every time. This was the some-numberth time (Ben hadn’t exactly been counting) Klaus had to clean up the mess Ben had caused by forgetting how to be alive again. Well, in this case, it was forgetting he was alive.

Here was the premise: Ben and Klaus were on a walk. Seems harmless, right? Wrong. He’d thought it couldn't possibly go wrong, and figured Klaus thought the same. Well, then they were both wrong.

So, Ben and Klaus were on a walk. They had always been able to do that, of course, though this time, people could both see and hear Ben. Forgetting this was his biggest mistake.

See, back when Klaus was the only one who knew Ben even existed (apart from his siblings, but they weren’t ever around), they would talk to each other on walks like this. Sort of. Ben would comment on people, not always saying the nicest things, and Klaus would find the best way to laugh without seeming crazy. You might be able to see where this is going.

Well, anyway, Ben and Klaus were on a walk. On this (very nice, if you asked Ben before shit went down) walk, Ben got so caught up in their normal routine that he, and Klaus, he suspected, forgot other people could hear him now.

“So, Viktor called the other day, and he said he’ll be in the area soon. He’ll try to stop by, if he can.” Ben was eternally grateful that he could talk to any of his siblings when he wanted to, and he and Vany- Viktor, he reminded himself, had always been close. Naturally, they talked the most often, which wasn’t that often, seeing as their schedules didn’t line up all that much.

“Yay! It’s been too long since I’ve seen my favorite higher-numbered sibling.”

“It has. Wait, hey! He’s not your favorite, is he?” Ben faux-pouted, and Kluas laughed.

“You caught me, Benerino. No one could beat Five.” Ben shifted his face to one of outrage.

“You’re a piece of work, you know that?” Klaus laughed harder than before, and shot Ben one of his dazzling smiles.

“That I am. That. I. Am. You say that as if it isn’t a compliment.”

“That’s because it’s not, dumbass.”

“Who are you calling dumbass, dumbass?” Ben leaned over and softly shoved Klaus’ shoulder back.

“Oh, so I’m the dumbass now, huh?” Klaus grinned and shoved him back.

“After yesterday? Of course!” Oh right, yesterday.

“Hey, anyone could have made that mistake! You can’t blame me for that!”

“Yes, I can. And I will. Dumbass.” Ben gave up. There really was no winning with his brother, was there?

“Bitch,” was his comeback.

“Name calling. Really? How old are you?”

“You started it!” Klaus shook his head, shooting back,

“No, actually, you did.” Ben was just digging himself a deeper hole now.

“Fine.” Now, how to change the subject? “Do you remember the time you ‘borrowed’ Diego’s favorite knife?” If Klaus noticed the quick change of the topic (he did), he mercifully didn't say anything about it.

“Oh yeah! He was totally freaked!” Ben laughed as the memory of Diego’s panicked face resurfaced.

“Mmhmm. You kept it for at least a day, and when he got it back, I half thought he’d slit your throat with it right then and there.”

“Our sweet brother wouldn’t dare. He loves me too much.” Ben scoffed jokingly.

“Yeah, right. More like he loves that knife too much to soil it.” Klaus pressed a hand to his chest as dramatically as he could. He stopped walking, committed to the role.

“You take that back!”

“You know Diego as well as I do. Now, come on. We have to get home at some point.”

“We just left!” Klaus pointed out, indignant.

“Still,” was Ben’s only reply. Even though he grumbled, Klaus began to walk again, slightly faster than before. It really wasn’t much faster, but hey, any improvement was good. They walked in companionable silence for a while, taking in the sights and sounds of the buisier part of town. Ben was genuinely shocked at how much richer everything seemed now that he was alive again.

He looked around, in awe of the smells, the feel of the wind hitting his skin, and the vibrations that shot through him every time he took a step. (He wasn’t looking next to him, but Klaus had a soft smile on his face as he watched his entranced brother.) It had been maybe a month, and he was still amazed by these small things. I wondered idly if he would always be.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” he heard from somewhere to his left. “You expect me to be fine with this? I demand to see your manager!” The woman speaking was wearing a garish floral dress, and her face was completely red. Several other people were staring at her with expressions of what the hell are you doing?, as Ben felt justified in doing the same.

“Hey,” He nudged Klaus with his shoulder, “do you see that lady?” He didn’t notice the volume of his voice. Mistake #1. “How is someone so petty they have to bother people at the smallest inconvenience?” Mistake #2. Klaus covered his mouth to laugh as Ben smiled triumphantly, too caught up in their familiar routine to notice the lady face them, evidently angrier than before. Mistake #3.

They continued, blissfully unaware of the furious woman headed their way. That is, until Ben felt a hand grab his shoulder and forcefully turn him around. He opened his mouth to ask why she had done that, when she grabbed him by the neckline and moved his face way too close to hers before yelling, rather loudly considering their proximity, “How dare you say such a thing‽”

Ben froze, suddenly feeling bad for what he had said. No one deserved to have that said so they could hear it, and plus, Ben didn't even know the entirety of what had happened. Maybe the lady was justified in action the way she had. He began to attempt a response, desperate to repent.

“I-I’m so s-sorry. That was wr-wrong of me to s-say. I’m sure yo-you had a good reason t-to say that.” Although Ben meant what he said, the lady didn’t seem the slightest bit mollified. She sneered at him as if she thought less of him than of the dirt on her shoes.

“You can’t even apologize or take responsibility for your actions properly. I shouldn’t have even bothered with this.” The last part seemed to be muttered to herself. Ben just felt even worse.

“You’re right.” He just stood there, trying his damndest to formulate any semblance of a proper response despite the rising panic. He was unable to utter even a single sound, he just stood there, frozen with a paralyzing fear.

“No, you’re not.”

Klaus practically spat the words out. How dare this woman talk to Ben that way. He understood her initial anger, to a degree, but Ben had apologized, clearly sincerely. Nos, said man was standing there, pale, and Klaus could see the panic rising in his eyes. He had to do something.

“Look, ma’am. My brother didn’t mean to offend you. He apologized, as do I, and neither of us will bother you again.” Klaus had always been shit at de-escalating situations like this- he was the one who caused the situations that needed to be de-escalated- but for Ben, he would try. At Klaus’ words, the lady harrumphed, clearly recognizing she wasn’t going to get anything else out of the interaction. She didn’t even react to Klaus stating he and Ben were siblings, as many people often did, due to their vastly different appearances, too invested in how wronged she believed herself to be.

“Alright. But I hope you’re sorry, young man,” Here she rounded on Ben again, and the Asian man shrank back reflexively, “as you clearly have no manners.” Was this what people meant when they talked about seeing red? Klaus wasn’t sure he’d ever felt this angry before in his life. His anger only grew as he saw her words register to Ben, and watched as hurt entered his eyes, mingling with the lingering panic. Nope, now he was the angriest he’d ever been. No one deserved this, especially not his sweetest sibling. (Aside from Viktor, maybe, though he was much more familiar with Ben, of course.)

“Ma’am, you’ve made your opinion clear. It’s time for you to leave now.” Klaus was almost never this serious, but he knew how to be firm when the situation called for it, which right now definitely did. The lady glared up at him, her face redder than he’d thought was even possible. He glared right back. If it was a battle of wills, there was no way for Klaus to lose.

Sure enough, she glanced away, sooner than Klaus had thought she would. All bark, no bite, huh? She looked anywhere but at Klaus or Ben, a nice juxtaposition from how Ben had maintained eye contact when he had apologized earlier.

“Fine. I’ll be on my way.” She scurried away, evidently not wanting to stick around them any longer. Well, that was fine with Klaus. He stood there triumphantly for a bit, before realizing that Ben just. . . hadn’t moved from his frozen position. Klaus gently placed a hand on his brother’s shoulder to try and bring him into more awareness. He tried not to react awkwardly when Ben flinched at the touch.

“Ben, hey,” he began softly, “it’s okay. She’s gone.” When Ben didn’t move, Klaus gently maneuvered Ben’s face to meet his own eyes, filling them with as much reassurance as he could. He swore his heart audibly cracked when his brother began to speak.

“I-I’m sorry. It’s my fault.” No. No. It was not Ben’s fault. Klaus had to make sure he knew that.

“This is not your fault. Okay, yeah, you probably shouldn’t have said that, but she deserved every bit of that. She seriously needed that vibe check.” He wasn’t entirely sure he’d used that phrase right, but it was worth it to see Ben crack a smile, hesitant, but there nonetheless.

“Thanks,” he responded shakily. Then, to Klaus’ disappointment, his face fell, and he continued. “Sorry for ruining the day.”

“Hey, Benny, you didn’t ruin anything.” Nope, that award belonged to that woman, and Klaus internally cursed her for messing with his brother. “Now, what do you say we get ice cream? That makes everything better, right?” This time, Ben’s smile was fully genuine, and not hesitant at all.

“Yeah, let's do it.” As they headed to their favorite ice cream place, Klaus reached over and playfully tousled Ben’s hair.

“Hey!” Ben cried out, indignant. He reached out to do the same to Klaus, but ultimately failed. Klaus was just too much taller than Ben, and the way he weaved out of Ben's reach didn’t help.

“Not these beautiful curls, Ben-Ben!” Klaus joked, and the way he acted fake-hurt reminded him of their earlier conversation. He instantly grew more serious. “Hey,” he began, locking eyes with Ben to make sure the other knew he meant every word, “you’re my favorite sibling, you know that?”

Ben ducked his head, embarrassed, but also, Klaus knew, secretly pleased.

“You’re my favorite sibling as well. Now, ice cream?” Klaus felt warm inside, and he knew: this would always be better than any drug.

“Ice cream.”

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caniruineverything · 10 months

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i wish i knew that someone out there cared (cared for me)

with klaus and ben, certified dumbasses

Summary: A newly alive Ben forgets how to take care of himself, and Klaus takes the opportunity to show his brother that he will help him out.

Ben wasn't quite sure how to be alive yet. To be honest, he wasn't quite sure how he was alive. To be fair, he and Klaus probably weren't the best people to ask to figure that out. They hadn't gotten around to asking Five to try his hand, as he was the generally-agreed-upon 'smart one', but he was busy, what with another impending apocalypse and all.

So yeah, even though he didn't know how it was even possible, Ben was well and truly alive. Like, breathing, heart-pumping alive. He got hungry, thirsty, tired, and all the other things he had been numb to for decades. He could touch things all the time now, not just when Klaus' power felt like being useful. To help him adjust to that particular fact, Klaus would often make sure he laid an arm on Ben or simply touched him somehow, just so he knew he was still alive.

It was comforting, really, to have one person always around, especially one who knows you almost better than you do yourself. Now they were able to properly do things together, at least out of the house this time, and Ben could talk to the rest of his siblings, both things he thought he would never be able to do again. Some things came back naturally to Ben, such as how he interacted with the very different people each of his siblings were.

Some things, however, did not. Namely, how to take care of a living body again, which needed things Ben had forgotten how to need. This particular day, it was hunger that he had forgotten about, a fact which came to bite him in the ass later.

Can you blame him, really? It wasn't like Ben had needed to eat as a ghost, making it around fifteen years since he had needed to regularly eat. That day, he simply forgot that without proper nutrition and sustenance, the human body couldn't function.

He'd been going about his day like normal- well as normal as someone who no longer was a ghost could be. Eating honestly hadn't occurred to him. There were so many things he needed to remember now, but had found it impossible to remember everything. He spent most of the day reading, if he was being honest, which might have been part of the problem. When he read, he tended to block out the rest of the world, forgetting at times that there even was a world outside of the words on the pages in front of him.

Klaus had left him mostly to his lonesome, knowing without even having to talk about it that Ben needed to be left alone sometimes. Ben found himself often grateful for the unspoken knowledge that they shared, and the wordless communication they had perfected throughout years of Ben not being visible to anyone apart from Klaus. The downside to this, however, was that no one was there to remind Ben to carry out basic, necessary actions such as eating.

He didn't do it on purpose, he swore, he just forgot. Fifteen (was it fifteen? He could never remember) years was a long time to not have to do something, and being thrust back into it, amongst many other things, unsuspectingly was disorienting to say the least.

It was 2 pm when Ben pulled away from his book, a nagging feeling telling him something was amiss. Why couldn't the nagging feeling ever tell you why you felt the way you did? You were just made to figure it out yourself, every time. Thanks, nagging feeling, thanks. He stood, ignoring the way the world spun a bit (maybe that was normal?), and wandered out to the kitchen.

He grabbed a glass and filled it with water, hoping drinking something would alleviate the instinct that something was wrong. He drank it down and stood there waiting for any change in the way he felt, which, now that he focused, he did feel a little shaky. When nothing changed, he moved to get more, ignoring the way black spots danced in front of his vision (probably another "alive thing"), and that's when disaster struck.

His legs shook, and he tried to steady himself in the counter, but then his knees gave way. The world spun around him, and blackness began to creep into the edges of his vision. Before the world went completely dark, he heard rapid footsteps and felt warmth surround him, thinking one last thought before he fell into the beckoning darkness: there was something I forgot, wasn't there.

Klaus had been minding his own business, the way he usually did. He was good at that, mind you, unlike a certain no-longer-ghostly brother of his. But while Ben did not offer him the luxury of being alone often, Klaus decided to allow his recently flesh and blood brother a while by himself. He regretted that later.

In his defense, Kaus barely knew how to take care of himself, let alone another person. Hell, he'd died like fifty times on his own, although lucky for him, it never stuck. So forgive him if he wasn't exactly a natural at helping Ben take care of himself.

He had been ecstatic when he and Ben noticed the latter was alive again, of course he was. It was something he had wanted since that fateful day when Ben had bled out on the ground, while Klaus and his siblings could do nothing but stand there, completely helpless. He never thought it would actually happen, and he still didn't know how it had happened.

So, no, he wasn't great at making sure Ben was doing all the things he needed to do in order to keep himself alive. He hadn't exactly been trying too hard, as it honestly hadn't occurred to him that Ben would forget to do things that were obvious to Klaus, who hadn't been dead for long enough to forget them. Looking back on that day, though, he guessed it had only been a matter of time before something like this occurred.

When he walked into the kitchen for a two o'clock snack, he was genuinely surprised to see Ben standing there, gripping a glass of water. It took him a moment to remember that, yeah, Ben was alive now, and had to drink water. Klaus stood in the doorway, not sure why he was hesitating, as Ben set the glass gently down on the counter.

When his brother moved again, however, Klaus knew something was wrong. He tried to figure out what, exactly, had gun feeling anxious, when Ben stumbled. The Asian man gripped at the counter (for stability?) and then his knees buckled. Klaus moved instinctually, catching his brother before the other could hit the floor.

"Oh, Ben. What did you do now ?" Klaus lamented, half to himself, as he set the unconscious figure down in his lap on the floor. Clearly, Klaus needed to observe his brother more, and not just leave him to his own devices, as this was how that turned out.

Klaus began to attempt to rouse Ben, shaking him and whispering to him. It took a few minutes, and the longer it took, the faster Klaus' heart began to race, because what if Ben was badly hurt? , but Ben started to awaken. The tiny noises he made as he came back to consciousness warmed Klaus' heart.

"Hey, Benny. Wanna tell me why you decided to take a swan dive in our kitchen today?"

"Whaaa? Oh, is that what happened?" His confusion made Klaus laugh in spite of himself.

"Yep. Came in here to get food, and had to prevent you from cracking your head open on these very nice, very hard tiles."

"I forgot to . . . do . . . something. Not sure what, though." Apparently, there was someone worse at taking care of oneself than Klaus. Yep, that award went to Ben, still in Klaus' lap on the floor due to forgetting to do something . Their answer as to what that something was, luckily, came quickly, in the form of Ben's stomach rumbling. Instead of the look of understanding Klaus expected to see in Ben's face, he paled, and began to look inexplicably afraid.

"Oh, god. Klaus, move. Move."

"Benny, why? You're just-" But Ben was not placated. He scrambled, however shakily, off of Klaus like his touch was burning. "Ben? What's wrong?"

"Th- The Horror." He didn't seem capable of uttering anything else, too afraid of his own body. Was The Horror part of Ben's body, or was it separa- Not the time, Klaus. Not. The. Time. Oh, Klaus realized, he hasn't felt that in so long, he thinks it's The Horror. His heart broke at the fearful look on Ben's face. He remembered how scared Ben had been when he was younger that he would hurt one of them. The only one of them who had been hurt was Ben- nope, not going there.

"Ben, hey. Look at me. That's not The Horror, you're just hungry. That tummy-rumbly thing, it happened to everyone. I'd reckon that's probably why you fainted; you didn't eat enough." Before this, Klaus hadn't realized how soft and tender his voice could be. Ben brought out sides of him that he hadn't known were inside him.

"Are you- are you sure?" The hesitance in Ben's voice shattered Klaus's heart again. God, he'd been terrified The Horror would hurt Klaus.

"Yes. Now, let's get some food in you, yeah?"

"Yeah." Ben's voice was still shaky, but it was less scared, which Klaus was going to count as a win. Now, what to make. It wasn't as if Klaus was going to force Ben to make his own food, not after he'd fainted and been scared half to death. (Too soon? He would really need to stop using expressions centered around death. Too bad there were so many of them.) And Ben should have homemade food, to show him that there was someone who cared. Ah, yes!

"Sit down, silly. Standing can't be fun after that." Ben looked down at a stool in front of the counter, as if the idea of sitting down hadn't even occurred to him.

"But, food." He looked so confused again, though this time, it was because he hadn't thought someone else would want to help him.

"I'll make you food. How does a grilled cheese sound? Those always make everything better." At this, Ben shot him a hesitant yet sweet smile, which made everything worth it. Plus, it wasn't as if making a grilled cheese was hard. Especially for Klaus, who had made thousands of them during his time on his own. Ben knew this, and while Klaus knew he had always wanted to be able to eat one, he had never said anything. Ben, always one to take care of others before himself. Leading to today, he guessed.

The familiar sounds of the sandwiches sizzling and of Ben laughing at Klaus' dramatic flourishes he added while cooking helped put them both in a happier mood. Klaus' favorite part, however, was the look on Ben's face when he bit into the grilled cheese sitting on the plate in front of him. Unlike Klaus, he had the intelligence to wait until it had cooled a bit, though he did still laugh when Klaus let out a yelp as the moment cheese burnt the roof of his mouth.

A look of pure bliss came over Ben as he ate the sandwich, and Klaus felt perfectly content, with a happy brother and a plate full of cheese and bread. Now Ben knew that there would always be someone there for him, and Klaus had his brother alive right in front of him. What more could he want?

#umbrella academy #klaus hargreeves #ben hargreeves #umbrella ben #fainting #food just makes everything better #especially a nice grilled cheese

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caniruineverything · 10 months

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Newsies Fanfic Alert!

And yes, it is javey. (also contains hints of sprace and newsbians)

i wanna taste her lips (yeah, 'cause they taste like you)

Summary: Following the strike, Davey and Katherine hang out often, making Jack, who believes himself to be in love with Katherine, jealous. Crutchie sets him straight, though, and helps him realize he's jealous OF Katherine; he's in love with Davey.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

It is completed, and it’s also on ao3, like the rest of my fanfics. You can find it here.

Title from Girl Crush by Little Big Town.

Chapter titles from Solitary from the musical Love in Hate Nation.

Speaking of, do you like lesbians? Do you like banger music? Do you like canon representation? Well then, you'd probably like Love in Hate Nation. Take a listen, you might enjoy it!

#fanfic #newsies #javey #javid #jack kelly #davey jacobs #david jacobs

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caniruineverything · 10 months

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i wanna taste her lips (yeah, 'cause they taste like you)

Chapter 3: i hope (s)he does, I hope (s)he does

Chapter Summary: Jack contemplates his new discovery, is surprised by Davey in the park, and confessions ensue.

"Yep, you is. Took ya long enough." A slightly out-of-sorts Race walked in, teasing Jack gently.

"Wait," Jack was confused. "Ya know too?"

"Course, dummy. All ah us knows. Ya ain't exactly subtle."

"But I didn't know dat 'til now. How'd all ah ya know?" Was he the only one who didn't know?

"Again, ya ain't subtle. Also, ya kinda dense."

"Hey!" Now that he was closer, Jack could see Race better. His lips were suspiciously red, and were those bruises on his neck? Not the time, he supposed, but he did need to have the shovel talk with Spot. If he ever hurt Race. . . well, it wouldn't be pretty, at the very least.

"Rude. Are ya that rude with Spot? He the one that put them bruises there?" Race had the grace to blush at this, and walked out, shaking his head until he was out of sight.

"Sooooo," Crutchie began, and his tone alone warned Jack that he probably wouldn't like the rest of what he has to say. "Ya gonna tell Davey?"

"What? Course not. Why would I do that?”

"'Cuz he feels the same, duh." What was he even talking about?

"No he doesn't. Remember? I saw 'im kissin' Kath. He don't like me, he likes her."

"Oh, yeah. Dat's a bit odd. But trust me, he likes you."

"You's wrong."

"No I aint'. I weren't wrong about ya lovin' Davey. Ya gotta trust me. Just ask 'im." How could he just ask him? It would be hard enough to face him with his newfound feelings, let alone confront him about his reasons for kissing Katherine.

"Nope. No way."

"C'mon. What's the worst that could 'appen?" Oh, you really wanna go there, huh?

"He could figure out I like 'im, and get disgusted and leave. God, he'd hate me. I's not gonna be able to live with that. No. No, I can't tell 'im."

"Jack, Davey could never hate ya."

"How would ya know that?" Crutchie faked hurt, but Jack knew him well enough to know when he was joking. He was joking about being hurt, but not about Davey.

"'Cuz I know dat he loves ya. Like, in love with ya. Just as you's in love with him."

"How is you so certain?" Jack hated the uncertainty in his voice. He was the confident one, the one who protected the unsure ones. He wasn't meant to be the uncertain one.

"'Cuz I know ya, and I knows Davey. He's definitely in love with ya. Ya know the signs I mentioned with ya?" Jack nodded. "Yeah, well, he has 'em too."

"God, I hope yer right." He meant it too, he wanted Davey to be in love with him, however unlikely that might be.

"I is." Jack wished he had that confidence in the notion. But that was for another day.

"Alright, Mistah Knows-It-All, it's time for bed."

"Aight. Night, Jack."

"Night, Crutch." Jack fell back into his bed, thinking. This day had gone nothing like how he'd planned. It made so much sense now, all his jealousy that felt slightly misplaced. Feeling sad when Davey left, more so then when Katherine wasn't around. Loving his freckles more than anything else about anyone. Drawing him all the time. Now he prayed that he had been right, when he said they felt the same way he felt about Katherine, platonic.

But how would he explain the kiss? That was a sure sign, right? How could it not be? He just wanted to close his eyes and go, off to a world where his feelings for Davey were requited. His subconsciousness complied, and his dreams were full of freckles, sunlit kisses, and a strong solid chest that he leaned against, feeling the warmth of the person he loved against him.

When he woke, he immediately wanted to fall back asleep again. At least there he could be with Davey, and not have to deal with his unrequited feelings. No such luck, though. Now that he was awake, he was awake. There was no going back to sleep until tonight. He threw the covers back, hot now that sunlight was streaming through the curtainless windows.

The building was filled with the sounds of tens of boys getting ready for the day. Jack took comfort in it, glad that even when his life felt so uncertain, he would always have his boys. He often found himself grateful for their presence, but unable to express just how much he loved them.

He got ready for the day, put on his favorite shirt, and grabbed an apple for breakfast. They had more food now that they were paid a bit more, a fact which every newsie was beyond grateful for. He walked, savoring the crisp sweetness of the fruit in his hand. He wasn't sure where he was going, exactly but it wouldn't be the first time he had walked around the city aimlessly.

Walking helped him think, and walking with no purpose often led him to a place he ended up needing to be. He was glad he had the day off from selling, again, but Crutchie had assured him that it was fine, that he 'deserves a break', and that Crutchie wished said break 'could last forever'. He did still need to help out, though, even though he was almost too old to really be helping. Younger sold better; no one took pity on a boy who was as old as he was.

He soon found himself in the same park where he had witnessed the fateful kiss that threw his world into disarray. He sat on the same bench Katherine and Davey had been sitting on, wishing he could know what they had been thinking.

"Hey, Jackie. What are you doing today?" He looked up to a familiar voice, and found himself staring at the freckled face that had filled his dreams the previous night.

"Oh, hey, Dave. Nothin' much. Ya got any plans?" God, he was gorgeous. Jack wasn't sure how he didn't realize sooner how gone on this boy he was. His hair shone in the early morning sunlight, and his beautiful brown eyes were happy and bright.

"Nope. Sarah and Katherine are spending the day together, so I'm alone, I guess. Unless you wanna hang?" Well, he had not expected to be alone with the boy he had just realized he had feelings for not twelve hours earlier.

"Uh, yeah, sure. Been a while since it was just the two ah us, huh?"

"Yeah. I miss you. I feel like you've been distant recently. Is everything okay?" Of course he would ask. Davey was one of the most caring people he'd ever met, save for Crutchie, of course.

"Me? Oh, Dave, don't worry 'bout me. I's fine. I just miss ya too. We's gonna fix that today though, right?" The grin Davey shot him was brilliant, and Jack wonders again how he missed how deeply in love he was. Denial was a powerful thing.

"Yes. Definitely. Absolutely!" Oh thank God, he still likes me. Jack wasn't sure why he thought Davey would just stop wanting to hang out with him, but he was really happy that was not the case. Before they did anything, and Jack lost his courage, he decided to just put something out there.

"Hey, Davey, I gotta tell ya somethin'." Davey brow furrowed as he glanced at Jack, probably able to see the nerves written all over it.

"You can always talk to me, Jack. What is it?" He was just so nice. And to have all his attention fixed on Jack? Is this heaven?

"Well, uh, I's not sure how ta start this. Ya know how Race likes guys and Sarah likes girls? Well, I like guys and girls." He closed his eyes and bowed his head, unsure of how Davey would react. Since his sister liked girls, he'd probably be fine, right? What if liking both was too much?

"Oh, Jack. You don't have to be scared. It's alright. It's called bisexuality. Katherine is bi as well, and I'm completely fine with it." At this, he glanced up, hopeful.

"You sure?"

"Definitely. And I'm, uh, I'm gay. See, we're both queer, we can support each other." Gay. Davey was gay. He could maybe, just maybe, like Jack! Wait, why was he kissing Katherine then?

"That's great, Davey. We's gonna support each other. Thanks for tellin' me." Davey looked relieved, like he wasn't sure if Jack would hate him for being gay, the same way Jack had been scared Davey would hate him for being bi. They both knew they shouldn't be, that the other could never hate them for that, but still. Irrational fears are hard to get rid of.

"Thanks for telling me you're bisexual. It means a lot, knowing you trust me with that. Coming out is hard."

"Dave, I'd trust ya with anything. You's my best friend."

"And you're mine." They both looked a little awkward saying that, Jack because he wanted it to be more. He wasn't sure why Davey looked nervous, though. He did have one more thing he wanted cleared up.

"Uh, I saw ya and Kath the other day." Davey looked back at him, listening to every word, looking him straight (or maybe not) in the eye.

"Why didn't you come up to us? We would have loved to talk to you."

"Yeah, not in this case. Ya were, uh, kissing. Each other." As if that needed any more clarification. But there, it was out.

"Oh!" Davey laughed, confusing Jack even more. He wasn't angry? Jack had basically been spying on them! Though they had been in public. "We were, um, practicing, I guess. So we knew how to kiss when we kissed the people we actually wanted to kiss."

Oh. Jack felt a bit stupid, and it must have been relieved on his face, because Davey added, "I know, it's kind of confusing. I am definitely gay, and I don't like her romantically. Wait, do you?"

"No, why?" He wasn't going to go into specifics of when or how exactly he figured that out. Not now, at least.

"Oh, just because she's in love with Sarah. And I'm pretty sure Sarah loves her, too. So you wouldn't have chance with her." That made sense, actually, and recontextualized some of the conversations Katherine and Davey had recently.

"Do I got a chance with you?" Jack clapped both hands over his mouth. He hadnt meant to say that at all. No, Davey was going to hate him now! Instead of seeming mad though, Davey mostly looked confused.

"What did you say?" Jack's first instinct was to deny everything. But he figured he might as well get the rejection over with. Even if Davey wasn't in love with Katherine didn't mean he was in love with Jack.

"I said: Do I got a chance with you?" Davey looked surprised now, and Jack thought he detected a bit of hopefulness as well.

"Oh my god. Oh my- you're not playing with me, are you? This whole thing isn't some giant joke intending to out and embarrass me?" How could he think that? Does he really think that's more likely than me liking him? Hurt, Jack recoiled, and defended himself.

"What? No! I would never do dat to ya, or to anyone! Do ya think I would do dat?" A million emotions flashed over Davey's face, far too rapid for Jack to catch any of them.

"No. Sorry, I just panicked. You want to date me?" Yes! Now he was getting the right idea!

"Yes. I wanna to date ya. So, what do ya say? Do I got a chance with ya?" Davey smiled tentatively at him, and as Jack's heart hammered in his chest he replied,

"Yes. I would love to date you. I just never thought you would want to date me."

"I meant what I said. I wanna date ya, I wanna romance ya, I wanna call ya my boyfriend, and I would very much like to kiss ya now, if that's alright with you." Davey blushed when the meaning of Jack's words hit him, then smiled wider than Jack'd ever seen before.

"Yes. God, yes. Kiss me, Jack Kelly." And, hey, Jack was never one to deny David Jacobs anything, not when the thing Davey wanted was something Jack wanted just as much.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

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caniruineverything · 10 months

Text

i wanna taste her lips (yeah, 'cause they taste like you)

Chapter 2: and does (s)he even know how (s)he hurt me?

Chapter Summary: Jack sees Katherine and Davey kissing in the park, and leaves, upset. Crutchie notices, and talks to him, helping Jack understand who he really is in love with.

Jack grabbed his sketchbook and pencil, then dashed out the door. He had seen a really nice view from a fire escape the other day, and wanted to draw it. Inspiration really did strike at any moment. He raced through the streets all the way to his destination, panting by the time he got there. He clambered up the abandoned fire escape (because he didn't always respect the law, but he didn't want to trespass on the property of innocent people) and sat down, staring at the wide expanse of the city. His city.

He sketched different perspectives for hours, getting caught up in the gorgeous view. His sketchbook had gotten much more filled up by the end of the day, full of sketches of buildings, clouds, people, cars, and whatever else he could find. It was near one o'clock when he stood up, hungry, and pulled a few coins out of his pocket, ready for lunch. After getting a bit of food, he walked around, enjoying the familiar sights and sounds of lower Manhattan.

He'd been walking around for maybe a half hour when he noticed Katherine and Davey sitting on a bench in a park, the one all three of them frequented. He was about to walk over and ask if he could sketch them, when he noticed how close they were sitting. They were pressed together, no space in between them despite the summer heat. He ducked out of the way, hoping they hadn't seen him. He got lucky (or unlucky, depending on how you see it), and they continued to talk, uninterrupted.

As he watched, the both looked down at their laps, seemingly embarrassed about something. Then, they glanced around, as if checking if anyone was watching them. Davey glanced at Katherine, said something to her, and she turned to him. As he watched, stomach sinking as it occurred to him what was going to happen, they leaned in, lips meeting tentatively. They were kissing. Well, if he'd needed any proof that he was screwed, there it was.

He turned away, not able to stomach watching them anymore, not wanting to see the two lovebirds kiss over and over again, and definitely not wanting to see the lovestruck expressions they were most definitely wearing. He left, running away faster than he'd run to the fire escape earlier, day ruined by the two people he had hoped would never betray him.

Because he left, he never saw Katherine and Davey pull away, blushing, and laugh, clearly embarrassed. He never heard Davey say,

"Thanks, Kath. I needed that. Good practice, and I'm definitely gay."

"You're welcome. And I know I'm bi, but not attracted to you, don't worry." He laughed, then looked thoughtful,

"You definitely aren't in love with him, right?" Katherine laughed, and reassured him,

"Nope. You know who I like." He smiled, clearly happy that he wouldn't have to share his crush, and told her,

"Yep. I do. Go for it, I think she likes you too."

"If I do, you'd better tell him. He's so in love with you, even Race can see it."

"Kath!"

"Just saying!" Their laughter continued for a long while, both red in the face and beaming.

Jack entered the lodging, tears in his eyes and red in the face, though for a much different reason than Katherine and Davey were. He lowered his head as he walked through the crowded area, trying to get to his bed without anyone seeing his face. No such luck, though, as halfway there, Crutchie called out to him.

"Jack? Why's ya back so early? I though ya s'posed to be gone for longer." Jack really didn't want to talk, but he knew brushing Crutchie off would hurt him, and he couldn't bear to be the one hurting the younger boy. Keeping his lead low so Crutchie couldn't see his eyes, he responded,

"I'm fine, Crutchie. I's just. . . tired, that's all." He could see Crutchie get worried.

"Are ya sick? Ya never get tired so early." Jack sighed, not wanting to talk anymore than he had before.

"No, Crutch, I's not sick. Just lemme sleep, please?" Jack wasn't one to say please much, so when he did say it, every newsie knew to listen.

"Okay. Lemme know if ya need anything, 'kay?" Jack felt a surge of gratefulness for Crutchie's kindness. He said as much, and walked over to his bed, burying his head in his pillow and letting angry tears slip out silently into the fabric, his sadness heard by no one in the empty room. How could Davey betray him like that, kissing the girl he was in love with? How could Katherine kiss someone else, even after what they had on the rooftop? He knew it wasn't fair, love had no rules, but it still hurt like hell.

He had no idea how much time had passed before he heard quiet footsteps accompanied by the scrape of a crutch.

"Hey, Jack, I, uh, broughtcha dinner. If ya want it, that is." His heart, though slightly cracked, swelled for his brother. He sat up, he saw Crutchie try to hide his double take at Jack's red, swollen eyes. He didn't say anything, though, just set the half-full plate down on the bed, careful not to spill anything.

Jack reluctantly picked up the somewhat clean fork next to the food and began to eat, realizing after a couple bites how hungry he actually was. Nothing like heartbreak to build up an appetite, he supposed. When he was done, he set the plate aside, and glanced up at Crutchie, who was hesitating by his bed.

"What's wrong, squirt?" he inquired, using his affectionate nickname for the boy as a way of thanking him. Crutchie visibly wavered, then asked:

"Jack, is ya okay?" Jack was taken aback, though he tried to hide it. He hadn't been expecting that, though of course, Crutchie had always cared deeply about those close to him.

"Yeah, bud, I's fine. Why'd ya ask?"

"Ya just seems so. . . sad lately. Is. . . is it me? Did I do somethin' wrong?" Jack paled, his heart hurting at the notion that Crutchie could feel responsible for this.

"No, no, no! Ya did nuttin' wrong. You's the bestest brother I coulda asked for." He wasn't the best with words, but he was desperate to make sure his brother wasn't blaming himself.

"Okay," Crutchie relented hesitantly, "but will ya tell me what's botherin' ya? Please? I hates to see ya like this." Jack figured he should tell someone, get it off his chest and all that, and who better to tell than Crutchie?

"I just. . . Ya know Kath and Davey have been hangin' out lots?" Crutchie nodded, attentively listening as he always did. "Well, I saw 'em kissin' earlier. I thought Katherine loved me, but she and Davey, they's in love. I's just hurt, I guess, and I needs time." Crutchie had been following along but took pause at something Jack had said.

"Wait, you's in love with Katherine? I's sure ya were in love with- " He cut himself off at that, leaving Jack very confused.

"Whaddaya mean? Course I's in love with Katherine. We kissed in the Penthouse during the strike, remember?" Poor Crutchie just looked even more confused.

"No, you's definitely in love with Davey. Have ya seen the way ya look at 'im?" Jack just stared at Crutchie. Is he insane? Do I need to take him to a doctor?

"Crutch, there is no way I's in love with David Jacobs. It's always been Katherine. I'm not a queer." When Crutchie looked hurt at his last sentence, he amended, "Not that that's a problem, ya know I support Race and Spot. I just, I likes girls, ya know?" Crutchie nodded reluctantly.

"Jack, ya know ya can like boys and girls, right?" Jack scoffed, of course he knew that. But he didn't, right? No, of course not.

"Yeah, I knows that. Doesn't mean I like both of 'em, though." Crutchie mumbled something to himself then, which sounded suspiciously like:

"Oh, God, he's in denial."

"Hey! I ain't in denial!" Crutchie paled, then denied saying anything.

"I didn't say nothin'!" Jack knew he had, in fact, said something, but he decided to let that go. He had more important things to worry about.

"Fine. So if I was attracted to both genders, and I ain't sayin' I is, why do ya think I's in love with Davey?" Crutchie looked somewhat placated with this, and launched into his defense.

"Okay, ya always seem happier to see 'im than ya do Kath. Ya also never stop starin' at him when ya think he don't notice." Jack spluttered, then composed himself.

" I don't do none of that." Crutchie shot back a quick,

"Yeah ya do."

"I do not."

"Do too."

"Do not"

"Do too."

"Okay, fine, maybe I do." Jack said it both because he remembered that, yeah, he kind of did do that, and because he wanted this back and forth nonsense to stop.

"Yes! Ya also is way more protective of 'im than ya are for Katherine."

"Dat's 'cuz Kath can 'andle herself. Ya know that. That one don't count."

"Yeah it does. Davey can handle 'imself too. Ya just don't wanna admit it." Jack conceded that point, then realized Crutchie was gearing himself up for more. How can there possible be more?

"Ya want to draw 'im more then ya wanna draw anyone else. It's 'cuz ya like starin' at 'im."

"What? I do not!"

"Like starin' at him, or draw him the most? Look in yer sketchbook if ya need more proof." Jack idly flipped through it. Crutchie was right, he did have more drawings of Davey than of anyone else.

"He's just. . . easiest to draw. It's good practice."

"Use whatever excuse ya need."

"Hey!" But Crutchie was moving on to more, somehow. Was there some truth to what he's saying? He didn't want it to be true, but there was some part of him that almost did.

"Lastly, ya always make some sorta excuse ta touch 'im. You's always touchin' him somehow. Oh, and, the way ya look at him, like he strung the stars in the sky. That's the gayest shit I ever seen."

"Hey! Language!" Then the rest of it occurred to him. "Wait, what? I do not look at 'im like that.”

"Yeah, ya do."

"No, I don't."

"Yeah, ya-"

"No. I's in love with Katherine Plumber. Davey is my best friend, and I's completely fine with that."

"You's jealous 'cuz he was kissin' her and not you. Do ya really want to kiss her?"

"Yeah!" Crutchie leveled him with a look so severe, he began to actually think about it. Soft lips on his own, tasking of sunlight and ink, and smelling of spices and leather. Wait- leather? Where was the perfume? He pulled away in confusion, only to be faced with Davey's freckled face smiling shyly back at him. His heart skipped a beat, he was just so cute! What? Cute? Davey? The other boy ducked his head, cheeks dusted with pink, and Jack felt as though his whole body was made of butterflies. Fuck it, he thought, and leaned in again.

Crutchie was watching him closely, he realized, after he had come out of his imagination. He sat there for a moment, dumbfounded by his realization. Crutchie just smiled, proud at his work being successful.

"Holy shit. I's in love with Davey."

Chapter 1

Chapter 3

#fanfic #newsies #javey #javid #jack kelly #david jacobs #davey jacobs #that feeling when your crush kisses someone else #but you actually like the someone else #classic jack kelly #mr bi disaster

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caniruineverything · 10 months

Text

i wanna taste her lips (yeah, 'cause they taste like you)

Chapter 1: oh, how can my baby go and desert me?

Chapter Summary: Jack expresses his jealousy of Katherine and Davey's closeness, and the group's dynamic is established.

"- and then Race comes running through the door and shouts, 'If anyone asks where I am, I've left the country!' Turns out, he let it slip that he's got feelings for a certain Brooklyn newsie leader."

"But Spot reciprocated, right? What happened then?"

"Yeah, 'cuz a day or so later, Spot comes running to Manhattan, hunts down Race, and when he found him, he smashed their mouths together in the most heated kiss anyone's ever seen."

"Oh my God. You're kidding, that's how they got together?"

"I know, right? Only them, I swear."

Jack gritted his teeth as Katherine laughed as Davey relayed last month's drama. Why does he get to make her laugh? Half of him just wished they would have the inevitable 'we're dating' speech, while the other half prayed it would never happen.

After the successful strike, Katherine and Davey had begun to hang out often. Like, all the time. He knew he shouldn't be jealous, as it wasn't like he didn't want to see them getting along. Still, they were almost always together, as if they were unable to be parted from each other for even a moment. He should be happy, right? His best friend and the girl he hoped would become his girlfriend, this close? He knew it should make him feel happy.

But it didn't. Why? Because Jack knew what it meant. They liked each other the way Jack liked Katherine, and would sort that out fast. He would become the third wheel, which probably wouldn't be that bad. They were certainly nice enough to include him, but it would still be awkward.

He realized that he had a sort of grimace on his face, and quickly fixed it into a proper smile when he noticed Davey spot him. He and Katherine began to make their way towards Jack, smiling and waving.

"Hey, Jack. Davey was just telling me about Race and Spot's dramatic confession. I would say I'm surprised, but honestly, with them? Nope." Jack swallowed his jealousy in order to respond in the way he knew he should.

"Oh, yeah, I remember when they's got together. Pretty funny, had all ah us rollin' on the floor laughin'." He even forced a smile to complete the act, before realizing it wasn't very forced as he was happy to just be with them, even if it wasn't in the exact way he had hoped.

"See? I couldn't make it up if I tried!" At this, Katherine turned towards Davey once he had finished, smiled, and reassured him,

"I know, I believe you. Don't worry. It's just almost unbelievable. I think if it had been anyone else, I might have been suspicious." After she finished, Jack broke in, the claws of jealousy sinking in deeper.

"It just makes sense, yeah? Race's always been super dramatic, so ah course he gonna get with Spot th' way he did." Davey and Katherine expressed their agreement, and made to move onto another topic of discussion before Davey gasped.

"Oh, I forgot. I have to get Les, our folks'll be waiting, sorry." Katherine's face visibly fell at this, but she smoothed it out quickly, though not before Jack noticed it. He couldn't deny that he was disappointed as well, he quite enjoyed Davey's company, though he felt he should be happy.

"Hey, Dave, go get ya brother. We's gonna hold down the fort." Davey shot him a grateful smile, and rushed off to collect his brother, but not before adding,

"You guys are welcome to stop by our place any time, or come over for dinner. Remember that." And with that, he was off, leaving Jack blinking at the words he'd left with them. Jack couldn't pretend he didn't want to show up at the Jacobs' house one day, if only to see Davey. And hey, a free meal with people who loved him would never not be a plus. He turned to Katherine, happy they were alone now, though, oddly enough, missing Davey already.

"Hey, Kath. How long's it been since it was just us two together?" Jack couldn't help but inquire, curious to see what her reaction would be.

"Yeah, it has been a while, hasn't it. I miss just the two of us hanging out. Don't get me wrong, I love Davey, but I miss you, too. I want to hang out with both of you." Jack felt something twist inside him when she spoke about Davey, but settled when she continued. He felt protective of the boy he'd come to be close with, and didn't want anyone speaking badly of him, especially when he wasn't there to defend himself. Katherine, though, would never speak badly of Davey, as she loved him as well. As a friend, please, as a friend, Jack's thoughts pleaded.

"Yeah, I misses hangin' out with ya, too, Kath. Why're ya always off with Davey?" He said it jokingly, but deep down, he cared what the answer was. Why wouldn't she hang out with him?

"Well, he and I just get along so well, and talk about things we can't talk about with you. No offense, of course. Why, you jealous?" She was clearly teasing him, but it still stung. Not that she knew how on the nose she was, though.

"Course not. Ya can hang with whoever ya wanna. As long as I's there, ah course."

"Oh, so now, you'll always be with me? Wow, what a dream come true. Who wouldn't want their very own bodyguard?"

"Hey, I aint' no one's bodyguard. Who's to say I's always gonna protect ya?"

"Well, since you go out of your way to protect Davey, I figured it's only fair that I get the same special treatment, seeing as I'm your other best friend." Jack's stomach shifted uncomfortably when she said Davey's name with that odd emphasis and again when she said best friend. Davey was his best friend; she was the girl he had a crush on. Right?

"We both knows Dave can't fight ta save his life. You's pretty formidable, ya knows. I's willin' ta bet ya can handle yaself." She smiled at that, and oh, what a beautiful smile it was. He knew he would do anything to make her smile.

"Why, thank you, Mr. Kelly. Maybe you're more chivalrous than I gave you credit for. And where did you learn such a big word. 'Formidable', huh? Did Davey teach you that?" This was the dynamic he'd been hoping for. This he could deal with, and could use it to his advantage. It also gave him the ability to slip some flirting in, which was his strong suit, of course.

"Ah, ya think I can't know big words? Maybe I spend hours readin' from a dictionary."

"You, reading? A dictionary? Are you sure the world's not ending?"

"Hey, I's able to read. What's ya tryin' ta say?" The two of them continued their playful banter until they reached Katherine's little apartment, where they parted ways for the night. It was only as he was walking back to the lodgings that realized: he hadn't really done much flirting at all.

Jack stared at Davey. Well, his face, to be specific. Even more specifically, something on his face. "Davey, ya got freckles?" Said boy startled, not expecting to be confronted about the aforementioned freckles.

"Uh, yeah? They come out when I've been in the sun a lot. Like, uh, this summer, I guess." Huh. That made sense, Jack supposed, and it also explained why he had never seen them before. Something about them interested him, and he literally had to force himself to tear his gaze from the small, dark circles dotting Davey's cheeks.

"You's hafta lemme draw ya sometime. With them freckles, I means." Davey flushed, at the idea of someone wanting to draw him, Jack figured.

"Oh, uh, sure. I'd like that. Only if you want to, of course."

"Dave, I's the one that offered, remember? Of course I wanna." Davey smiled, and Jack felt warm inside. Must have been the sun, and the feeling of making a friend happy.

"Then, yeah, definitely. Let me know when, I guess." Jack nodded, and turned to face Katherine. She was smiling knowingly at the two of them, though what, exactly, she knew, Jack had no clue.

"Oh, and Kath. I's gonna draw ya too. Specially with ya new haircut." Katherine had gotten her hair cut a bit shorter for the summer, and it looked good. It looked like her, which was one of the main reasons Jack liked it. It also framed her face better, making her even prettier. Jack had always been in the habit of drawing, and now that he had more free time due to the success of the strike, he found he could draw more often.

He hadn't gotten around to drawing many people though. He'd never thought he was very good at that, and avoided it for fear that people would laugh. He knew neither Katherine nor Davey would ever laugh at him for that, so he felt confident enough to share it with them. He just hadn't gotten around to doing it yet. Looking at Davey now, covered in new freckles, he felt the urge to draw him, stronger than he'd ever felt before. Unable to explain it, he glanced back at Katherine, slightly confused when he didn't feel anything nearly as strong when he looked at her.

He tamped it down, and turned back into the conversation.

"Sarah offered to teach me how to cook, and I was wondering if any of you would want to come with me," Katherine offered, cocking her head and looking between both of them.

"Nah, I's already promised Crutchie I would hang with 'im. Have fun." Jack would have loved to, but he was busy, and he wouldn't trade his time with Crutchie for anyone, not even Katherine. He knew his brother was already feeling a tad left out, what with him hanging out with Davey and Katherine all the time, and promised to make time for him.

"I need to study, I have summer assignments, and besides, you haven't hung out with Sarah alone in a while. I know you wanna," he teased, and Katherine glanced down, cheeks reddened from the sun. Jack wasn't sure exactly what that was about, but he figured it was just that the girls really hadn't had much time to hang out recently.

"Oh, okay. Thanks, I guess." The last part was directed at Davey, but Jack wasn't sure what she was thanking him for. They began to chat for a bit, about any random thing that popped into their heads, and Jack felt at ease for once, jealousy practically nonexistent. The peace ended when a blur ran at Davey and knocked him over.

"Oof! Les? Why'd you tackle me? Oh you little gremlin, I'm gonna getcha!" Les just shrieked in joy and got up, running away from his brother, who began to chase him with a look of faux anger on his face. Jack and Katherine scrambled out of their seats on the grass, and began to chase the two brothers.

Together, they were able to 'tackle' Les, and Davey began to tickle the laughing boy, who only began to laugh harder, pleading,

"No, Davey, stah-stahp! Ahahaha! No!" Davey, a look of fondness on his face, let him up and pulled him into a hug. When Les protested, weakly, because he did enjoy his brother's hugs, Davey scolded,

"That's what you get for messing with me! Teach you not to do it again!"

"Okay, I won't do it again. . . today."

"Thank yo- hey! Les!" Davey's scandalized face made all three of them bend over laughing, and they were only able to stop when Les stated,

"We gotta go, Mom and Dad will be waiting." Davey stood up, nodded, and said goodbye to Jack and Katherine, then grabbed Les's hand and walked away.

"Hey, Jack, I have to go as well. Thanks for today, it was nice." Katherine offered a pleased smile, and turned to go as well.

"Have a nice night, Plumber. See ya tomorrow." They were off, in separate directions, and Jack was left to his own thoughts again. He felt happy, of course he did, he had been able to be with Davey and Katherine all day, but still felt. . . odd. He chalked it up to spending all day in the sun, but he knew that wasn't the full story. He wanted more time to flirt with Katherine, and wanted to, selfishly, keep her away from Davey, all to himself.

After their kiss in the Penthouse, Jack figured he and Katherine had a connection. He was surprised when nothing else happened between them again, and was waiting for something to happen. He wasn't sure why she was showing a romantic interest in Davey, when all signs had pointed to himself being the object of Katherine's affections. Still, he felt pleased to be included, and happy that nothing romantic had happened between his other two best friends.

All that changed two days later.

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

#fanfic #newsies #javey #javid #jack kelly #david jacobs #davey jacobs #a healthy dose of pining

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caniruineverything · 10 months

Text

i get by with a little help from my friends

ft. merthur and a bit of whump/angst (and a teensy bit of morgwen)

Summary: Merlin doesn't understand why Arthur's acting weird, but when Uther takes it too far with his words one day, Merlin realizes why.

"Mer-lin!" At the sound of his name, the warlock spun around, only to be met with an irate Arthur slamming the door behind him as he walked in. And he had been in such a great mood earlier, he thought to himself.

"Yes, sire?" If he put a bit more ire in the greeting than normal, well that was between him and the long list of chores he was sure was heading his way.

"Have you really been cleaning this whole time?" The question was rhetorical, but Merlin answered anyway, foolishly.

"Yes, sire. Your room is quite messy. Really, it's a shame no one ever taught you how to clean up after yourself." And, well, on any other day, the jab wouldn't have been of any importance, but that day, Arthur was in quite the mood.

"Well, it's a shame no one taught you how to speak to your Prince. Leave, I don't want to see your stupid face." The words caused something in Merlin to shrivel up, despite his attempts to stop it. He'd thought he and Arthur had been getting closer. He'd apparently thought wrong.

He left, moving away from the room and the unreasonable prince as fast as he could. As he exited the palace, he realized Arthur had not given him anything else to do. Part of him wondered if that had been purposeful, but he quickly dismissed the thought. After that display, it was clear the prince had no intention of being generous.

With nothing else to do he walked home to see if there was anything Gaius needed him to do. The old man answered that he did not, in fact, have anything that needed to be done. Instead, he suggested Merlin go help out Gwen or the knights. Deciding this was both a good idea and a way to pass time, which moved slowly when he was away from Arthur, Merlin left to go do just that.

As he approached the palace steps, mentally making a list of the places Gwen was most likely to be found-he knew from experience that it was very difficult to find people in the palace-when a voice called from somewhere to his left.

"Merlin? I thought Arthur dismissed you."

"Gwen!" He couldn't help it, a grin broke out on his face at the sight of his friend, a sweet but slightly confused smile gracing her lips. "Just the person I was looking for!" At her questioning glance, he elaborated. "Yeah, the clotpole did let me out early, not sure why, so I wanted to see if you needed any help." He paused, and she took her cue to respond.

""Oh! Thanks." At this, Gwen smiled kindly and continued, "Nope! Morgana let me out early too, said something about the nice weather." Merlin smiled, knowing Morgana too was weak for Gwen's smile, just in a different way than he.

"That's kind of her. Well, if you need anything, you know where to find me!" She grinned back, seeing his smiling face, and continued on to her house. He stood there, once again with nothing to do. Should he check on Arthur again?

The urge to both see the prince and make sure he was okay was not something one should feel for their employer, let alone their prince and their friend, but, well, he had taken one look at the prince when the latter had been consoling a woman looking after her ailing son and fallen head over heels. Yes, that prat could be such a cabbage head, but he could also be caring, and brave, and kind. And handsome, that little voice in the back of his head spoke up, but he banished it with a quick not the time.

So yes, he did want to check on Arthur. But at the same time, what Arthur had said has hurt. Merlin worked hard because Arthur expected nothing less, and it still wasn't enough.

But Arthur was a prince, and he was Uther's son, so it was almost to be expected. Almost, because even though it was explainable did not mean that it hurt any less.

He decided against reentering the paper in search of a prince who clearly didn't want him there, and returned home. At Gaius's raised eyebrow, he just said Gwen hadn't needed any help, and walked into his room. And no, he definitely hadn't closed the door more forcefully than normal.

He used his free time to read through the book on magic Gaius had given him. Sitting under his thin blanked with aagically conjured light to see by, he could almost forget about Arthur and his behavior. Almost.

Merlin blinked awake blearily, light glaring in through the window. He brushed a fallen lock of hair out of his face, then sat up. As he did so, he both heard and felt paper rustle, and looked down. He had apparently been using the magic book as a pillow, and there were a few drool stains on one of the pages. He quickly magicked away the stains and returned the book it it's hiding place, then turned to his clothing to get ready for the day. Now, to wear the red or blue neckerchief. . ?

He made it almost to the palace steps before he remembered. Arthur. He had been in such a foul mood the other day, and with a prince with anger management issues and a tendency to bottle things up, Merlin did not know what to expect.

When he had gathered up the courage to walk to Arthur's room, he was greeted with the sight of the blonde glaring at him, picking at the good in front of him.

"You're late," were the first words out of the prince's mouth. "I had to get woken up and delivered breakfast by George." His distaste was clear, and on another day, Merlin might have laughed. Not that day, though, when he was already feeling the sting from the careless words.

"Oh, poor you." It was almost hilarious how obvious the double take Arthur was trying to hide was, as he had clearly been expecting sympathy, but Merlin was not in the mood. "You should be happy, you had a servant who didn't talk back."

"Well, Merlin, you should be happy. I have a long list of chores headed your way, just for being late." Merlin sighed. Why him? Why did he have to bother with the unreasonable man who happened to be both his employer and the prince of Camelot?

"Yaaaaayyy. . ."

"That's the spirit! Now, you'd better get started or you won't finish by tonight, and we can't have that." By Arthur's tone, Merlin could tell he was implying something important, and though he really didn't want to, he gave into the blonde's ploy to get him to ask.

"What do you mean by that? What's happening tonight?"

"Oh, did no one tell you?" God, the nerve of this man. "Father's having a feast in honor of the new alliance. And yes, before you ask, you do have to be there." Damn, how had he known that was what Merlin was going to ask before the latter even opened his mouth? "Because, idiot, you ask that every time. Of course I knew." Okay, now Merlin was slightly freaked out.

"Did I say that out loud, or did you somehow acquire mind reading skills?"

"I could read it on your dumb, expressive face. You didn't need to say it, and I don't need to read your mind to know what you were going to say." Arthur scoffed at Merlin's confused face and ordered him to get to work before he wasted the day trying to understand a simple sentence.

All day, Merlin simultaneously carried out his chores, fuming at Arthur and his pompousness, and ran their earlier conversation through his head, trying to make sense of it. And make sense he did. It was no secret that they two were developing a strong bond, but he hadn't realized how strong it was, if the prince was able to deduce what Merlin was going to say before he said it.

But of course their 'strong bond' wasn't enough to keep them from bickering like a dysfunctional couple. Resigned to his foul mood, and with no intent to forgive the prince any time soon, he got to work on the long list of chores Arthur had handed him.

By the end of the day, Merlin had somehow managed to get everything in Arthur's ridiculously long list done. Well, not somehow, he may have used a bit-just a bit!-of magic to help. The list was otherwise way too long for him to finish by midnight, much less in time for the feast. The only good part about any of it was that he got the satisfaction of seeing Arthur's shocked face when he realized Merlin had actually been able to complete the list. Well, he had also been given a bit of the food for the feast to taste test (impeccable as always), which had been nice.

His last task was to help the prince prepare for the feast. Bathing him, dressing him, and just making him look like the prince he was. If Merlin was honest, there were a few things he liked about feasts.

For one, there was the fact that he was allowed to eat some of the leftover food, which was even better than the food the kitchen normally prepared. There was also the fact that Arthur looked even more presentable than he usually did, and while Merlin thought the prince looked handsome in anything, it was nice to see him get dressed up a bit. And the feast provided something to make the evening a bit more entertaining, which was something, at least.

By the time he was done getting Arthur ready, it was time for the feast. Merlin looked over the prince one more time to see if he was ready, and he was. But Merlin also noticed that Arthur seemed a bit more nervous than he usually did for a feast. Was it that this was celebrating an alliance and he didn't want to do anything to put that in danger?

Merlin wanted to ask, he wanted to make sure his friend was okay, but before he could, Arthur spoke.

"Well, Merlin, are you ready?"

"Wh-what? Why are you asking me if I'm ready? You're the one who needs to be ready, not me."

"Well, yes, that is true. But you know if I'm ready or not, and you're not ready until I am. I'll ask you again. Are you ready?"

"Yes, sire." For once, Merlin's voice was completely free of any sarcasm or mocking. He sensed that Arthur was nervous and he didn't want to make things worse.

"Alright then. Lets go."

The feast was a typical feast, all things considered. There was good food and wine, a few performers, and speeches from Uther and the allied kingdom. Arthur did not give a speech that night, which Merlin did not find particularly odd, as not every feast required a speech from the prince.

Though Merlin did notice that Arthur was more tense than normal, he figured it was just the blonde worrying about how the guests would find the feast. What he did not notice, however, was the way Arthur's eyes kept darting to his father, and the way Uther was nearly glaring at his son.

There was one slight hiccup during the whole thing, which was, in Merlin's opinion, not bad at all. One of the servants, a tall skinny boy with brown hair, spilled wine on Uther. In the boy's defense, it was not much, and Utter had bumped into him slightly, but that did nothing to quiet the king's rage.

But before Uther could say or do anything, Arthur leaned over and whispered something to his father. This calmed the older man down only slightly, and now his rage seemed directed at Arthur. Nothing happened however, except that Arthur apparently dismissed the servant, as the boy scurried away as quickly as he could.

If Merlin had paid a tiny bit more attention to the king and his son, he would have noticed how Uther's anger remained, and how Arthur was clearly masking his fear.

But he didn't, so he paid no notice as, when they were walking back after the feast, Arthur was silent. Merlin figured that he was simply tired, as a feast would tire anyone out, especially someone who was as involved as Arthur.

When they got back to the prince's chambers, Arthur dismissed Merlin as soon as the latter had finished getting Arthur ready for bed. Merlin once again figured he was simply tired, although he did begin to suspect something was up with the prince.

Hey, he wasn't stupid, not by a longshot, but he hadn't really seen anything that would make him worry. His whole job was to protect the prince, whether Arthur knew it or not. He would never purposefully do anything to put his friend in danger, and not just because it was his job.

That night however, he did remember Uther's angry glare at his son, and the way Arthur curled in on himself infinitesimally. Unfortunately, he fell asleep before he could think any more about it, and by the time he woke up in the morning, he had almost completely forgotten it.

The beginning of the morning the next day was pretty predictable. He woke up, got dressed, ate a hurried breakfast, and left to go wake up the prince.

When he got to the prince's room, however, breakfast in hand, he discovered that Arthur was already awake and dressed. Merlin set the food down on the table and looked the prince over.

"Wow, sire, you managed to put on your shirt correctly, nice job. However the back of your shirt is not quite tucked in. Here, let me get it." But when he reached over to help fix the shirt, Arthur batted his hand away.

"It's fine. I can do it myself. Thank you for telling me." This was very odd. When had the prince ever woken up and gotten dressed before Merlin arrived in the past?

Actually, he could remember a few times, and it was always odd. He was not usually able to get everything on right, either. Also, why had he not let Merlin help him? That was certainly unusual.

The rest of the day was relatively normal. They went on a hunt with the knights, as Uther had ordered Arthur to capture an assassin who had killed a few villagers overnight, for an unknown reason. It was nice to get back into the woods, and Arthur seemed happier because of it, joking around with Merlin and the knights in a way he hadn't in the last couple days.

The hunt, despite Arthur's best efforts, was unsuccessful, and they did not manage to capture the assassin. The hooded man escaped, after a fight that ended with Elyan slightly injured, and the entire party disheartened.

After a short visit with Gaius, Elyan was fine, and Arthur and Merlin headed back to the palace. Arthur was acting odd, not talking much, and when he did, he was very short with Merlin. Merlin opted for silence instead while he took Arthur's chainmail off.

"I have a meeting with my father to discuss my failure in apprehending the assassin. You are free to leave. Enjoy your afternoon." It was phrased so oddly. To discuss my failure. Was that really all Uther wanted to talk about? Arthur had accomplished a great many things, and yet Uther seemed only interested in the few failures. He really did expect his son to be perfect.

Arthur left, and though he had been dismissed, he did not have anything he needed to do, so he decided to stay and tidy up the room a bit. While he was in the middle of cleaning the fireplace, his magic suddenly became alert. The hairs on the back of his neck rose, and he became convinced something was wrong.

He didn't do anything about it, as he didn't even know what was wrong. He waited it out, and it dissipated slightly. There were a few more times during his cleaning that he felt it rise up, and then it began to rise steadily until the door creaked open.

Merlin looked up, and his heart seized in his chest. Arthur walked in, tears dripping down his face, and bruises on his face.

"Oh, Arthur, what happened?”

"Merlin?!? Why are you still here? I dismissed you." Though he sounded angry, the tears hitting the floor said otherwise, and his face did not show any anger.

"I, uh, wanted to do some cleaning. Seriously, what happened?"

"Nothing, Merlin, please just leave." It must have been serious if the prince was using please.

"No, Arthur." Merlin stood steadfastly in front of the crying prince. "You're my friend, and you're hurting. I want to help. What happened?"

"Nothing. My father just-he just got angry. That's it."

"Arthur. That is not it. You are crying. Please tell me what's wrong. It hurts to see you hurting."

"Fine!" More tears dripped down his face, and he looked up angrily. "He was angry that the hunt failed, and he yelled at me. When I told him I'd done the best I could, he just said that. . ." The prince trailed off, clearly very pained.

"Arthur. What did he say?" It was becoming hard for Merlin to just stand there and not go off to kill, or at least maim, Uther.

"He told me," Arthur sobbed harder, "he told me that Ygraine died for me, and I was wasting her death by just existing." The blonde broke down, sobbing loudly, not caring who heard him, and Merlin's heart broke. How could anyone say that to someone, let alone their own son?

"No, no. Arthur, you are a wonderful person, and your mother would be so proud of you for everything you've done. Uther doesn't deserve you, he never has, okay?"

"No, I'm useless! I can't do anything right! The feast, the hunt, and now I can't even take a lecture. Just leave, I'm not worth it."

"Never say that. Never. I love you because you are kind, because you always strive to do the right thing, even when it is harder. You saved that boy from getting flogged. You tried to catch the assassin, and the only reason you didn't is because you were protecting your friends. Uther is wrong. You are not useless. I love having you in my life, I'm grateful for it every day, and I know Gwen, Morgana, and the knights are too. You're amazing, Arthur."

That was the first time Merlin had gotten to voice his thoughts on Arthur in a long time, and it felt nice, even though it was brought on by Uther being an asshole.

"Do you mean that?" Merlin's heart broke impossibly further by Arthur's unsure tone.

"Of course I do! We're all incredibly lucky to have you around." Arthur just cried harder, stilling when Merlin wrapped his arms around the prince, sensing the blonde might need a hug.

When the prince sank into it, he realized that Arthur likely didn't get many, if any, hugs.

"Are you injured?" The prince was silent, and Merlin's heart rate skyrocketed.

"What?!?"

"He just slapped me a few times, and I have a few bruises. It's not that bad." This prince. Now Merlin was beyond pissed. He had assumed Arthur's face was red from crying, but now there was a handprint visible. That was why Arthur had dressed himself! He hadn't wanted Merlin to see the bruises.

"Are you alright?"

"I will be," was the quiet response.

"Take all the time you need. I need to go hunt down a king"

"Merlin, please don't. He is still my father."

"Fine. For you." They were silent for a few moments while Arthur composed himself and Merlin thought up ways to creatively harm Uther, not that he would actually carry them out. After a few minutes, Arthur's soft voice broke through his thoughts.

"You. . . love me?"

"I-What?" He thought back over what he had said, and blushed hard. Damn it, he had confessed to Arthur!

"I'm so sorry! I mean yes, I do, but I didn't mean to tell you. You can fire me, you'll never have to see me again, I'll-" He was speaking really quickly now, trying to apologize and reassure the prince.

"Merlin! Listen to me! I, uh, love you too. So please, don't leave. Ever." No way. No. Way.

"You-you love me too?"

"Of course I do. You're Merlin, how could I not?"

"What does that mean?"

"That it was inevitable that I'd fall for you, you clumsy oaf." Of course Arthur would compliment someone and then insult them, all in a declaration of life. Oh my god, he loves me!

"Hey! Thanks?"

"Now get over here." What? Why? Then, his silent questions were answered as Arthur kissed him. Their lips moved together as though they were made for this, and Merlin wondered if they had been. Two sides of the same coin. How had he not realized how romantic that sounded?

When they broke away, breathing hard, Merlin pulled Arthur in for another hug, sensing how touch-starved he was. The prince melted impossibly more into Merlin than before.

"You don't need him. You have me, you have Morgana, you have Gwen, and you have the knights. You have people who love and care about you. You don't need him."

"I. . . don't need him. Okay. I don't need him!" Arthur sounded as though he had been freed from prison, and in a way, he had. As Arthur stood up and got ready for bed, tired from crying and professing love, Merlin realized that as long as they had each other, and their friends, they would be okay.

#merthur #fanfic #merlin #arthur pendragon #bbc merlin #whump

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