briarslight

[briarslight]

Eidolon

My father told me to not believe in ghosts, and for the longest time I brushed off the bumps and jumps in the night. I told myself that, to be brave, one must have faith in a holy being above, but I forgot the reality of that one-sided love. Many years after my father's death, I rested my head on pillows filled with lead; a bullet for each letter of my name. A hope that they'll stay unspent remains in someone else's heart, and yet they are chambered.

But what my father didn't tell me is that ghosts are real; they are the phantom dreams of everyone that has left me for somewhere between heaven and hell, for somewhere far away yet so close, for somewhere outside of my grasp, just beyond the fingertips of outstretched hands. They haunt in the night, leaving their shadows stained on my walls. They stalk through the day, screaming their fidelis for a god that abandoned them.

My father told me not to believe in ghosts, but he is the apparition that won't leave this plane of existence.

[briarslight]

“It’s all messy: the hair, the bed, the words, the heart. Life.”

— Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

[briarslight]

[briarslight]

forgive and forget

move on

with your life, they've

done it already, so

why can't you let it go?

they've already forgiven

themselves for their sins

no god needed — they're

their own goddesses.

they've already forgotten

the pain i have been in

well — it didn't hurt

that much, did it?

they've already moved on

as if they had anything

to move on from in the

first place — yes, i'm

the one who's stuck five

years back from now

and it's my fault for

being an 'easy target'

it's my fault i can't

forgive and forget, well

i refuse to forgive

i won't ever forget

i might move on

but i'll never let it go.

—forgive and forget. | @briarslight

from 'beyond the thorns and brambles'

#literature #dark academia #sapphic #wlw #poetry #sapphic textpost #poets on tumblr #wlw yearning #wlw poetry #poems #poems by me #romanticism #romantic academia #briarslight #forgive and forget #beneath the thorns and brambles

[briarslight]

every girl i know dreams about you

their stolen glances

your unattainable touch

collectively fantasized kisses

as if there's a divine force

pushing them — making

them gravitate towards you

i would never admit how

i'm just like them

leaning over just a little too close

for it to appear as purely platonic

just so i could smell the lingering

scent of musk from your

cascading dark hair

or how i picture the creators

blessing the tan of your

skin — i heard them call it

sunkissed

and you're here with me

where no one can see

us — in my room

i'm giving you my clandestine glances

you're touching me with such vigour

we're getting closer, our lips

almost touching

so i guess i don't ever need to

nor do i want to

know that your heart is miles away

and i could never break down

those walls you put up

— collective fantasy | @briarslight

#literature #dark academia #sapphic #wlw #poetry #sapphic textpost #poets on tumblr #wlw yearning #wlw poetry #sapphic poetry #poemsbyme #poem #poems and quotes #helia by briar #briarslight #collective fantasy

[briarslight]

she thought she knew everything

at fourteen, the age

when it all began crashing down —

worlds were shaken, hearts were broken

because at fourteen —

boys and girls

across many seas

wanted her to be their lover

and she believed

every word they said to her

she saw the good in everyone

but not the bad, she still does

foolish girl, she never learns

she just trusts — she just loves —

now she admits that

she doesn't know everything

at seventeen, the age

when teenage romances should have began —

and at seventeen —

she's been through boys and girls

that lies and cheats

and swore that they were true

and she still believes

every word they say to her

she saw the good in everyone

but not the bad, she still does

foolish girl, she never learns

she just trusts — she just loves —

— only fourteen. | @briarslight

from "beneath the thorns and brambles"

#literature #dark academia #sapphic #wlw #poetry #sapphic textpost #poets on tumblr #wlw yearning #poem #poemsbyme #wlw poetry #briarslight #beneath the thorns and brambles #only fourteen

[briarslight]

“You think attention is love, and that’s why you suffer so deeply.”

— Unknown

[briarslight]

[briarslight]

Virginia Woolf, from The Waves

[briarslight]

Zaina Alsous, “Leave”

[briarslight]

[briarslight]

when the last autumn leaf leaves the branches —

they told me it will be time

for my metamorphosis,

my rite of passage —

i bury the last traces of us —

erasing you — august —

you said you were through

and i used to be blind to the reason why

until the first days of fall —

leaves falling

down

like the

shattered

pieces

of my

heart

and that was when i knew —

the loss of us, the loss of you

was inevitable as summer

slowly melting away — slipping by —

you were an ephemeral illusion in my life —

october ended, and my youth did too

but regret and longing will forever stay —

and the pain will eternally remain

i know, it's time

for my metamorphosis —

my empty, comforting chrysalis —

i have to leave my cage of freedom

and it's all in the name of love

i have to abandon the right to simply be happy

and it's all in the name of adulthood

— this is my metamorphosis. | @briarslight

#literature #dark academia #poets on tumblr #coming of age #youth #poetry #poems #poemsbyme #poems and quotes #metamorphosis #sapphic #wlw #sapphic textpost #this is my metamorphosis #briarslight

[briarslight]

girlhood is beautiful, they say

but haven't they heard about

how pain is beauty?

for me, girlhood is pain

girlhood is getting laughed at

for not being conventionally girlish,

feeling numb, or being depressed —

what happened to being a girls' girl?

all i got was alienation and invalidation

i never fit in.

believe me, i tried to —

i hopped onto the latest trends,

took aesthetic pictures like they did,

and hid my melancholy from the world

yet they saw me as a wannabe,

a failure of femininity,

a disgrace of a girl —

youth is precious, but girlhood is pain.

— girlhood is pain. | @briarslight

from "beyond the thorns and brambles"

#literature #dark academia #sapphic #wlw #poetry #sapphic textpost #poets on tumblr #wlw yearning #wlw poetry #sapphic poetry #girlhood #coming of age #briarslight #girlhood is pain #beyond the thorns and brambles

[briarslight]

in a world of fives she's the only one —

the only one that's impossible to resist.

she must have been twice blessed by napaian apollo's kiss —

with her slightly tanned smooth skin — a smile rivaling eos, lighting up the morning skies — thalassa's coral shames at the sight of her coral lips —

for every step she strides she walks with pride, the most gorgeous lioness, radiating charismatic vitality —

she's a queen, with an unreplicable majesty

that's bold and blinding, akin to thrace's ares —

and yet — i expected nothing less from my dearest lady

with dark eyes that shine and leo as her rising sun —

and now i see — other than me, my divine mistress aphrodite has blessed none —

for in a world of fives, i am her chosen one.

— she's the only one. | @briarslight

#literature #dark academia #sapphic #wlw #poetry #poets on tumblr #sapphic textpost #sapphic poetry #romantic academia #romanticism #romantic poet #briarslight #briars helia #shes the only one #wlw yearning

[briarslight]

“Some things are hard to write about. After something happens to you, you go to write it down, and either you over dramatize it, or underplay it, exaggerate the wrong parts or ignore the important ones. At any rate, you never write it quite the way you want to.”

— Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

[briarslight]

[briarslight]

“I love you the more in that I believe you had liked me for my own sake and for nothing else.”

— John Keats