blacknidstang

[blacknidstang]

I have a certain disease where i love to dig into sam's feeling of otherness for hours upon hours but i would actually hurl and pass out if i see posts about how Sam is actually a third wheel unwanted party.

#i think for me sam's feeling of being left out is something more about his perception of things #and its not about john wanting and loving him less #does it make sense #spn #sam&john

[blacknidstang]

Just throwing this out there:

In Sam’s early life, before he read John’s journal, he was not protected from the hunting lifestyle.

He was dragged around the country. He was dumped in motels with Dean left to be his parent. He was taught to fight. He knew Dean could shoot a gun (though I’m not real sure when Sam learned). He saw his dad stagger in beaten and bloody.

Dean and Sam were “protected” from the hunting lifestyle in the same way - they didn’t go on hunts. That didn’t stop them from being targeted (striga), or from hunters coming after Sam (John’s journal is fringe canon, but from what I understand, a hunter saw him as fair game and accused him of ripping someone else apart; John recorded it all, and Sam read his father’s journal). They were kept away from the actual hunts - that doesn’t mean the lifestyle itself was in any way, shape, or form ‘good’ for them. Dean, at least, knew why. All Sam knew was that Dean and John were lying to him.

Sam was not protected the way everyone likes to claim. Sam was lied to, dragged around, and suffered from poverty, lack of an adequate caretaker, and gaslighting for the first eight years of his life.

And then you wonder why he has problems trusting people.

#both very correct #spn #sam&john

[blacknidstang]

thinking about how weird weird sam was everytime he met one of the psychic kids hes like oh my god... you and me we are connected... we are chosen we are two halves of one whole and they are just like How did you get in my house

#help 😭😭 #HE WANTS TO BE FRIENDS #🥺 #he can break into my house #spn #sam winchester

[blacknidstang]

#yeah yeah him #beautiful... #dean winchester #spn

[blacknidstang]

✨ Please reblog the polls to make them reach out to as many people as possible, but KEEP IT SPOILER-FREE to make people listen to the music with an open mind 💖 Artists and titles will be revealed after the poll's conclusion, check the original post for an update! ✨

#og MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD #almost broke into tears #WAS OBSESSED WITH THIS SONG AS A KID #cant believe so few has heard it before wow #tunes

[blacknidstang]

I miss god

hes only entombed in an unmarked cave in the wilderness, have you tried reaching out

[blacknidstang]

i think jake should have lived and joined sam and dean on their cross country demon hunter roadtrip. he would have been such a good addition. they wouldn't even have to train him. and then him and sam could have kissed in the backseat of the impala and dean could stop bitching about sam getting laid and then could have joined in

#AGGHGHGHGGHHG #ok but imagine when dean finds out sam & jack are boning after bitching to s abt lack of sexlife #but anyways yes samjakedean #spn #samjake #wincest

[blacknidstang]

#me with sam & john & dean #yes all three of em #<3333

[blacknidstang]

just went to the doctor turns out I'm unusual and perverse :(

#UwU #about me

[blacknidstang]

Disabled people have to live somewhere poor people have to live somewhere you cant just exclude us from everywhere

[blacknidstang]

4 days until wet rat wednesday

#WET RAT WEDNESDAY #YEEEY #fauna

[blacknidstang]

1.20 "Dead Man's Blood" // "Sober II (Melodrama)" - Lorde

(and also one screencap from 1.16 but shhhhh)

I just think that Sober II, and specifically the line "how we kissed and killed each other," is the thesis of samjohn. Plus it's my favorite Lorde Track, period. And obviously "Dead Man's Blood" is just so samjohn. So. I made this.

Getting these screencaps was such a pain in the ass so if anyone wants the raw images for anything, message me. They deserve to be used in more than just this. That said, it was totally worth it to have the exact perfect facial expressions.

#OOOH #wonderfullll #samjohn #spn

[blacknidstang]

they were in love here. for just a moment

#sir they fucked #spn #samjake

[blacknidstang]

I'm gonna be a little bit salty here and say beside people actually confusing canon and their own headcanons or fanon, there also come people who believe what they enjoy or their headcanon is soooo universal inside the fandom space even for one ship. Even outside spn fandom i encountered this so much where people don't claim something is canon but sincerely believe their taste is the only valid thing around and their interpretation and headcanons are accepted and enjoyed by EVERYONE and these crowds, while not as bad as the other, are just.. alienating... It's the whole "how can you NOT ship x/like y" sort of crowd. Guess i have a whole beef with "fanon" concept? Like why are some headcanons are expected to just be accepted?

#personal rant #fandom wank #not just spn but also spn #whatever

[blacknidstang]

sometimes interpreting media through a shipping lens enhances it, on occasion even beyond the author’s original intent, but sometimes, you do have to accept that your ship was not in the heads of anyone making the source material and trying to force it to fit into evidence of your ship will severely hinder your ability to discuss the actual text.

#(also all of op's tags yes) #not gonna tag but we both know

[blacknidstang]

do u ever think about just. munching on sams tummy. taking a bite out of his buttcheek. squeezing him like a stress ball until his eyes pop out and spreading the eye jelly on a whole grain sandwich with crunchy peanut butter

#my breakfast #need to tear him apart with my teeth NOW #spn #sam winchester

[blacknidstang]

thinking about sam with a pain kink. sam fetishizing pain because it's always been something constant in his life, something formative and foundational, and also because whenever he's hurt dean will take care of him. getting hurt means he gets to experience moments of tenderness with his brother.

sam fetishizing pain because his most intimate moments with dean are conveyed through pain and violence. getting hurt means his brother loves him, can't live without him, wants him there with him always.

sam fetishizing pain because it's a visceral manifestation of his place in dean's life, with dean as his protector and owner and keeper. dean gets to decide whether he lives or dies, hurts or heals. dean is the one who controls his life, and getting hurt means that his brother will exert that control over him and let sam relinquish himself completely to him.

sam fetishizing pain because pain is a symbol of his love for dean, of dean in his entire, and it's always about dean. everything is about dean.

#amen amen ameeeeeen #spn #wincest #sam winchester