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27th February 2017- Noughts and Crosses

Author: Malorie Blackman Genre: Race, Growing-up, terrorism, romance Rating: Incredible, angst, will cry Favourite Quote: ‘I hadn't fully realized just how powerful words could be before this. Whoever came up with the saying 'sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me' was talking out of his or her armpit’- Sephy Hadley

Ok so this is probably one of the most eye-opening book series for a white middle-class person to read. Where I live, there’s one black person in my whole town, and a few sort of third generation mixed-race people, and that’s it. My family is, thankfully, very far from racist, but as a kid while I knew there was nothing wrong with people who weren’t white like me, I didn’t exactly have chance to put this into practice. To this day, I still get absurdly excited when I hear people speaking in a language that isn’t English/ speaking English with a foreign accent, because I’ve been completely deprived of other cultures for most of my life and I find them really interesting.

When you hear about racially motivated attacks on the news, it’s easy to dismiss them when you come from a place where racially motivated attacks wouldn’t happen, because there’s nobody here to attack. As ridiculous as it is, Blackman switching the races social status and planting it firmly in modern-day society was exactly the kind of kick up the arse I needed to take a more active stance against racism in my own life. I was 11 when I first read this book, and I can happily say it has influenced a lot of my interest in becoming more aware.

For the actual story itself, the plot was page-turning, but the characters were what really spoke to me. I was lucky enough to have the chance to put this on the stage for a drama exam, and it only increased my understanding and love for these characters.

Callum and Jude in particular made me feel the most. Callum’s story is one of missed chances and unfair circumstances; some poor decisions but ultimately he was a good man, and he loved Sephy with everything he had. Jude is more complicated because he has many chances to make the right decision and continuously takes the immoral path. However, he never takes the easy way out, and his motivations are always honourable, despite how he twists them to suit his own agenda. He is not motivated by greed, or jealousy or sadism; his motivation is hatred, so strong that he destroyed the most whole good in his life.

I love this book, and the rest of the series, so much.

#books #noughts and crosses #malorie blackman #my review

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20th February 2017- The DUFF

Author: Kody Keplinger

Genre: Growing-up, romance

Rating: Entertaining, not gonna rip out your heartstrings but good fun

My main problem with this book is that I didn’t like anybody except Westley. Like ok, the guy is sometimes a bit of a douche, but he’s honest, and he’s trying to do his best for his sister, and he punches Bianca’s dad in the face like straight up and helps her get away from him like all good things in my book. Yet he’s demonised over the entire book for being a ‘man-whore’ which is sort of annoying when everyone gets so hissy over women being deemed sluts over the same thing. Not that I’m trying to say Westley is oppressed or anything, he’s totally not, but it’s a bit harsh.

I like Bianca but she seems to only be negative. Like fine be cynical but that was a bit far. And she was a bit too dense in terms of why Casey was mad at her. Why wouldn’t she be mad honestly you were being a prick. I also never want to read anything positive about a bowl-cut ever again.

#The DUFF #kody keplinger #books #my review

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13th February 2017- All for the Game series

Author: Nora Sakavic Genre: Thriller, sports, relationship Rating: This is the only series ever to challenge Harry Potter as my favourite. It is incredible Favourite Quote(s): (You should be lucky I narrowed it down to five) ‘Fight because you don’t know how to die quietly. Win because you don’t know how to lose.’ David Wymack, The King’s Men ‘Is your learning curve a horizontal line?’- Andrew Minyard, The King’s Men ‘I’ve been a problem for nineteen years. I’m too tired to be one tonight.’- Neil Josten, The King’s Men ‘Don’t look at me like that. I am not your answer, and you sure as fuck aren’t mine.’- Andrew Minyard, The King’s Men ‘I won’t be like them. I won’t let you let me be.’- Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard, The King’s Men

I’m going to warn you now, this is going to be long, and spoiler-y, and probably make little structural sense.

So I hate sports. Any kind of sport. I just about tolerate swimming, and never just doing lanes.

I would also probably sell a kidney to be able to play Exy.

This series, quite honestly, has changed my life (and not just about sport). It features; diversity, therapy, alcohol, abuse survivors of all kinds, not enough playing the actual sport, torture, the MobTM, extreme character development, my OTP and too many chess references.

I will start, quite appropriately, with Neil Abram Josten, the many named man. I will not lie and pretend that one of the main reasons I love this series is not because Neil is the first canon demisexual character I have ever read. As a demisexual, this representation was something I didn’t even know I had been craving until I got it. His character made me more secure in my identity; he meant that I wasn’t making it up, that I was real and valid and there wasn’t anything wrong with me. I wasn’t picky or just ‘hadn’t had enough alcohol yet’ (thanks mum); what I felt was different but it wasn’t bad. For all the demisexuals out there, Neil was a godsend.

(For clarification on Neil’s sexuality I recommend reading SpangleBangle’s one-shot ‘Swinging Along the Z Axis’ on Ao3.)

More than that, Neil’s character just broke my heart. He’s haunted and hunted and desperate not to let anyone else get caught in the crosshairs. He doesn’t always do the smart thing, but he does generally do the right thing, and never takes the easy way out. He’s scarred and easily triggered and in some ways damaged, at least when he first arrives at Palmetto, but never, ever broken. Not even Baltimore or Evermore could break Neil Josten and while he’s sometimes regarded in the fandom as the soft to Andrew’s sharp, you’ll never find the Foxes thinking that because Neil is sly and underhand and play’s dirty when someone he cares about is on the line. If Andrew had to be the one to cut the deal with Ichirou, he would never have gotten out of that car alive.

He asked Andrew TO HIS FACE why his ex thought Andrew was tying him up, and didn’t clock for a single second until Andrew literally told him he’d blow him. He asked Nicky if they were friends because he’d never had any before. He is about as quick to get a social cue as I am running. He is so respectful of Andrew’s boundaries even before he found out why, even before their deal. He left Andrew, a person whom nobody had ever admired, whom no-one had ever been grateful for despite Andrew giving up EVERYTHING for them, with “thank you, you were amazing” and figured that would be enough to cover the destruction his death would bring. He chose being tortured by Riko on the off-chance it might spare Andrew some pain, and he chose to be taken to quite literally his worst nightmare, giving up his life and his freedom and everything he’d managed to accomplish that year to keep his Foxes safe.

For the first canon demisexual, he’s certainly setting the bar high.

I’ll save Andrew for last, so let’s get on to the rest of the Foxes.

I’m quite sure I could write an essay on each of them (except maybe Seth. Sorry. I just. Hated that guy). For your sake I’m going to keep it short, but feel free to ask me for a full character eval I’ll be happy to do it.

Matt Boyd- Literal sunshine, saw actual homeless child Neil Josten and decided immediately he would die for him, half of the brOTP of the century, you just KNOW he’s so sweet and attentive and respectful of Dan because she’d never go out with him otherwise. He canonically has a white and orange themed wedding… I actually can’t. He didn’t blame the Monsters for forcing him to go full cold turkey even though he knew Andrew didn’t do it for him and he was ready to fight to keep Neil after Baltimore.

Dan Wilds- Absolute BAMF, can and will kick your ass, the only female captain in Class I Exy and she’s had an uphill battle on her shoulders for years before Neil or even Matt arrives at Palmetto. She has short hair and probably wear gym shorts 90% of the time but she’s still allowed to dress up without everyone being like ‘omg wow dan in a dress’ like it would be in any other book. She was a stripper and she owns it because it’s what she did to survive and it was selflessness not ignorance or anything else that’s stereotypically attributed to strippers, that drew her to it.

Renee Walker- Basically a flower, if it was a flower that could also slit you from neck to gut and plaster on a serene smile a second later, she’s an accepting Christian who isn’t gay herself (*cough* EXTREME RENISON SUBTEXT THO *cough*), she’s working her way through her trauma in a way that is healthy, she wants to put her past behind her but she’ll bring it out to protect/help her friends. She’s the only person that stays with Andrew without some kind of deal between them and she doesn’t do it out of pity.

Allison Reynolds- will slay anybody with her look, refuses to let her grief break her, came through being cut off by her family for not being picture perfect and an eating disorder with confidence and grace and sass. She’s brutally honest in a refreshing way and I think that post King’s Men, with all the secrets out of the way, her and Neil can become much closer.

Aaron Minyard- oh he’s an asshat but he still wheedles his way into your heart. He loves Katelyn more than he probably thought possible, and he’s so snarky I love it. He also killed Drake despite training to be a doctor which I think is something everyone always forgets. I think the thing that annoys me the most about him is not that he’s mean to everybody but that he doesn’t even try to understand Andrew; he just immediately blames him and hates him but not enough to let Andrew go.

Nicky Hemmick- ‘let’s get this straight: I’m not’, nobody really talks about how horrific his childhood being raised in such a homophobic household did to him. They sent him to CONVERSION CAMP and only falling in love with Erik managed to save him from that dark place. His parents refuse to love him on account of his sexuality and then they manipulate him in order to set up Andrew for rape. Obviously it’s Andrew who gets hurt the most here (well I mean Drake dies but like that’s a good thing) but Nicky, like Neil, has to live with that guilt for the rest of his life. He’s a constant ray of positivity despite everything, despite his cousins never thanking him for doing this long-distance mess from his home just to be there for them.

Kevin Day- oh Kevin, Kevin, Kevin. Kevin comes perhaps the farthest of all the foxes over the course of the series and it makes me feel so proud. I screamed in delight and had to put the book down to do a little victory dance when he got his Queen tattoo. I worry sincerely about his liver. He’s a sad little history nerd who has made Exy his LifeTM and an actual asshat on the court. Probably about as good as Neil at knowing how to make friends and he shows he cares through Exy references only but I still love my toll bean.

Ok. Deep breaths. We’re onto Andrew.

Sometimes I think about his character and it just makes me tear up slightly? He’s an apathetic shitty midget who hates Neil and sits on tall buildings because he’s scared of heights for the AestheticTM. Basically everyone on this Exy team is some shade of LGBT+ and yet there’s no similarities between how they express their sexualities. Andrew is gay and a sexual abuse survivor and a foster kid and ex-juvie, but he’s not stereotyped into any of the boxes any other series would put him in.

I know too many people who have been sexually abused. Any other time that I’ve read a book where someone was sexually abused it was either liberally ignored/easily overcome or the person was driven to committing suicide. Neither is particularly helpful to survivors in my opinion, not that I am any kind of expert, and therefore Andrew’s story blew my mind. Andrew is never going to ‘go back to normal’. He is always going to have boundaries and yes or nos and triggers. He is never going to smile often or take Neil off on romantic dates or care about more than his minimum. And that, that is ok. There is no checklist for trauma survivors that they have to work through to be counted as better. Even more brilliant than Nora allowing Andrew to be changed permanently by his trauma, is the way he has an active and encouraged approach to his own recovery. His relationship with Bee is something I truly treasure. I am lucky enough to have not ever gone through something similar to Andrew, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be extremely happy that other people have that representation. Recovery is a slow process, with setbacks and bad days, which is also shown in this series, but it’s possible.

I like that Andrew didn’t always somehow magically know to go and get therapy. He survived Drake through self-harm and while he doesn’t encourage it, which is good, he also doesn’t completely demonise it like some people do. I will be the last person to condone harming yourself, but wanting to be able to make choices in an otherwise choice-less situation is completely understandable.

Proust trying to ruin his scars makes me want to vomit.

He was put on meds after he attacked some men for attacking his cousin and everyone thinks he’s dangerous? And manic? And out of control? Neil is perhaps the first person Andrew lets in enough to understand that everything Andrew does has a reason, and while it’s not always a good one it is also never a selfish one. Their relationship was a trust-build for two and a half books and it makes it so much more powerful. By the time they progress to anything physical, they’re already tied by something unbreakable, not that Andrew’s likely to admit it any time soon.

This is already like five pages long oops so I’m going to round off now.

This series made me laugh, and cry, and I quite literally screamed into my pillow when Andrew finally kissed Neil but I think most importantly it opened my eyes to lots of previously not-thought-about topics and I’m a better person for having read it.

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#the foxhole court #all for the game #the raven king #the king's men #books #my review #nora sakavic

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berrysbestbloggityblog · 7 years

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6th February 2017- Ruby Redfort: Blink and You Die

Author: Lauren Child Genre: Children’s fiction, spy, mystery Rating: Entertaining, would get from library not buy, weird ending?

This is a series aimed at children so I was hardly expecting something mind-blowing. It’s the final book in the Ruby Redfort series which I originally got into because of how much I loved the Clarice Bean series when I was a kid. It’s just as good as the others (actually I think a little better because I love the Tragic BackstoryTM).

I won’t lie to you; my favourite part of this book was LB and Bradley’s reunion. I thought Bradley’s death at the end was kind of senseless and I just generally… Felt really sorry for LB? She’d finally got him back after thinking that she’d KILLED him for a decade and he went and died of hypothermia?? The guy survives a plane crash but leave him in ice water for two seconds and he’s a goner. I’m still confused as to why Hitch took SO long to get home, and how on earth this can be the last book in the series if the Count is still alive? I didn’t love the whole Casey Morgan idea if only because it made the Count seem way less scary? What happened to Lorelei? I don’t know if we’re supposed to be filled with questions or if the ending was just shoddily put together but either way I’m confused.

Then again I feel like I’m putting a lot of expectation on a series that’s supposed to be for children (whoops).

#ruby redfort #lauren child #my review #books

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berrysbestbloggityblog · 7 years

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30th January 2017- The Song of Achilles

Author: Madeline Miller Genre: Mythology, Romance Rating: Gorgeous, beautiful, read it Favourite Quote: ‘I could recognise him by touch alone, by smell; I would know him blind, by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth. I would know him in death, at the end of the world.’- Patroclus

Spoilers under the cut

Ok first off, I love Greek mythology so I was already going to have a bias opinion. All props go to Miller though for her beautiful writing style that brought warmth and realness to these brutal myths (and didn’t make them as boring as a stats paper), as well as sticking to the mythology as closely as possible (note; Achilles’ heel was made up much later on).

Patroclus is a character most historians/mythology writers like to miss out or pretend was just Achilles’ “very good friend”. Through this book we get to see through the eyes of a young Greek prince who was the definition of a ‘lover not a fighter’ but was not weak or worthless as a character because of it. Achilles’ saw and appreciated Patroclus’ strengths as an impressive healer and thinker and did not think them less than his ability to slay any enemy. Miller’s build of their often-forgotten love story was smooth and natural, and despite knowing exactly how it had to end, Patroclus’ death at the hands of Hector had me sobbing into my kindle. (Please note: Not recommended). Even worse was Achilles and Briseis’ grief, and Patroclus’ long lonely afterlife before Thetis finally stopped being such a stick in the mud.

Also can I just talk about Briseis for a second here because I’ve never read a mythology book where a) one (one and a half; Achilles needs to up his feminism levels) man actually cared about a woman without wanting to bed her b) the woman was mortal and c) part of the dominated class but managed to grow in character to the point where she makes her own choices. I mean sure, her main choices were to try and get a gay man (and not the ridiculously muscly one) to marry her (though I mean such a brOTP??? She was all ‘yah keep Achilles I just want children’) and to try and escape to the sea before getting shot (FOR NO REASON I AM STILL ANGRY) but at the end of the day she managed to carve out a life for herself with Patroclus’ help, and she walked into Agamemnon's tent knowing she was likely to get raped and she did it unflinchingly and did not blame Patroclus at all.

Though when she said Patroclus was ‘the best of the Greeks’ I was expecting it and still ready to punch a wall.

Both Patroclus and Achilles were flawed but that’s what made them realistic and their infamous story still intriguing to read because she rewrote it in an arguably better way.

#the song of achilles #madeline miller #my review #books

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berrysbestbloggityblog · 7 years

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What am I doing

I have never, and will never, claim to be anything except a giant book nerd. I thought, between my attempts at writing, I will write some book reviews too. One every week (hopefully!), though lord knows my writing won’t be that regular.

#books #reviews

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berrysbestbloggityblog · 7 years

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Because why not put a link to my fic everywhere I possibly can

http://archiveofourown.org/works/8404435/chapters/19256971

#Harry potter #my fic #next gen

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berrysbestbloggityblog · 7 years

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When you started a Harry Potter Next Gen fic in 2012 and never expected The Cursed Child to come and ruin everyone’s interest in Next Gen fic but you can’t stop writing

#harry potter #my fic

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berrysbestbloggityblog · 7 years

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Boys Look Better In Trousers

You’ve seen the words in this article in blogs like this before. Gender stereotypes need to go! You’ve heard it from the myriad of so-called ‘feminists’ on your social media. You roll your eyes. Surely, if they were real feminists, they’d be doing something about gender inequality, not tweeting about it. They throw a plethora of statistics at you: only 22% of MPs are women! 77% of suicides are males! On average, women earn £140,000 less than men over their working careers! 9,000 men a year are raped in England and Wales! But you repudiate this same boring crap.

You look at the words again. Gender stereotypes need to go! You chortle with derision this time. You’re not callous but you’re just a normal person. What can you do about it? It’s not as if you perpetuate them. Sure, maybe you’d raise your eyebrows at a boy wearing a dress, but that’s more because it’s unusual than it’s wrong per se. You’d do the same if someone came into your work wearing a bright scarlet tracksuit. Besides, boys look better in trousers anyway.

The words stick in your mind all day though: gender stereotypes need to go! You see a new decoration on your boss’ wall (there are so few things that interest you more than meetings with George, but staring at walls, watching your hair grow and counting the particles of dust under your fingernails are some top contenders) and upon further inspection it appears to be some type of embroidery. You tell him to compliment his girlfriend on it as you leave his office. Your enmity is known throughout the entire building so no-one notices when he blushes slightly at your parting remark.

It takes you half an hour to remember that George isn’t in a relationship.

The exchange makes the words ring in your ears: gender stereotypes need to go! You see your friend Isla’s payslip as you’re walking past her desk and frown in confusion; you’d had a drink with your mate Mike the day before who does the exact same job as Isla, though completely incompetently, and yet he claims his pay is more than hers. You shrug it off; Isla probably didn’t work as diligently this month. It’s nothing to do with-

Those words: gender stereotypes need to go! You’re picking up Isla’s daughter from her primary school today, as you do every Wednesday when she works an extra shift. You wave with alacrity as she exits the classroom but she makes her way to you with an adorable little pout. If she would just try to be a bit more obsequious and taciturn like a normal girl then maybe she wouldn’t get into trouble all the time. You ruffle her hair, trying to keep the smile off your face. You wonder what it’ll be. Broke a nail? Spilt paint on her pretty summer dress? Put less than the average of 168 chemicals on her face this morning? You can never tell with girls; they cry over everything. “What’s wrong?”

“My teacher says I’m not allowed to play football anymore.”

“Oh.” You reply, privately thinking that it was about time anyway. It’s not her fault but she’s just not as physically strong as the boys. That’s not a stereotype; it’s a fact. Better that they tell her now than later when she thinks she has a chance.

“She said that I need to start acting more ladylike.” You pounce; this is your chance to stop the words haunting you. Gender stereotypes need to go!

“Hey. You can be anything you want to be.” She brightens. “A teacher, a nurse, a famous singer, a gymnast!” You don’t see the light in her eyes slowly die. You’re too busy congratulating yourself for stopping gender stereotypes in their tracks.

The words won’t leave you alone though, they’re like a stupid mantra you can’t seem to forget: gender stereotypes need to go! And after Isla picks up her daughter you immediately find this article again. You feel like calling up your mate Mike, but he said he had somewhere to be tonight.

The doorbell rings and you move to answer it, swearing that if it’s another bloody guy with a flyer, or worse, an article, you’ll hit them round the head with it.

It’s Mike.

You stare at him for a minute in utter shock. Mike doesn’t… Cry. Look at him; hulking, intrepid, muscular bloke whose yells sound like thunder. ‘What? What?’ You try to say but the words are running down your face: gender stereotypes need to go! And instead your treacherous tongue invites him in.

Mike tells you that the statistic of men getting raped in England and Wales in now 9,001. Your head tries to ask, ‘Well why didn’t you just fight her off?’ but the words are in in your bones now: gender stereotypes need to go! You offer Mike your spare room and tell him to sleep on what he wants to do to that disgusting soulless… aberration on the world who hurt him.

It’s late now, and this article is waiting to be written.

#gender stereotypes #feminism #my writing #tw: rape

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