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augustisonline · 15 days

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Too sad to dance - Lucifer Morning star x reader (angst+fluff)

First fic on here!!! I'm a little bit nervous about getting back into writing but, hopefully this is good 😭 this is like, very descriptive and plot heavy so if that's not your thing I'm sorry, but to those who do like that, please enjoy! This is long as fuck.

Summary: Reader struggles with depression and finds themselves at a bar trying to drink their thoughts away. Lucifer goes looking for them and tries to comfort them. (Great summary august)

Warnings: tw for harassment, alcohol, swearing, reader struggles with depression, slight angst, no sexual content but a few sexual comments, implications of suicide, could this be classed as hurt/comfort? Lucifer, gn reader, pre established relationship, minimal use of y/n, fluff. Not proof read.

🎀

Depression. Some people see it as an exaggeration of sadness, some people use it as a joke or some truly struggle with the mental hell that it can be. Today was one of those days. You had found yourself stuck in bed all day, still in your clothes from yesterday. You hadn't moved at all as you were in and out of sleep, trying to shut your mind up so you wouldn't have to think.

Nonetheless, it didn't work. Each time you woke up, it all came flooding back. The existential dread, the numbness and emptiness that your mind was feeling. Depression was your hell whilst living and in the afterlife. You couldn't escape it, even the one thing that you thought would finally free you of this hell, didn't actually end the suffering you had been going through.

So that's how you found yourself wound up at one of the more run down bars in hell, you just wanted to find somewhere where you could forget it all, even if that place was at the bottom of a bottle. You were sat at the bar, the stickiness of the wood beneath your arms really tied together the overall ickiness that this place was making you feel. Even the stool you were sat on felt disgusting.

The bartender made his way over to you, staring at you expectantly as he waited for you to order. "Just give me a glass of the strongest shit you've got." You spoke, your voice monotone as you slid a few bills you pulled from your pocket across the bar, not bothering to count them. A few minutes later the bartender placed the glass in front of you, his scrunched face staring down at you as you chugged the contents of the drink before he turned away to serve someone else.

You placed the glass down on the counter, absentmindedly staring at it, the ice was beginning to melt and although it wasn't very interesting, it kept your mind occupied. As you were deep in thought, your mind wondered to Lucifer. You were supposed to call him this morning. Shit. And you had walked out of the hotel without saying a word, what if you had worried him? You searched your pockets for your phone, only to find out you had forgotten it, a tired sigh escaped your lips as you placed your head in your hands, tears threatening to spill.

You couldn't keep putting him through this, shutting him and everyone else out when you were having a tough time. You felt awful. Lucifer had his own battle with depression and the pressure of being King. He didn't need to be running after you every so often when you disappeared in an attempt to feel better. A few silent tears had fallen from your eyes, you felt like the worst partner in all of Hell.

Caught up in your tears, you didn't notice the man who had sat next to you. Only the sound of him ordering a drink snapped you out of your trance. He looked towards you and smiled before speaking, "Rough day?". You laughed a bit, "When isn't it?" Lifting your head up and straightening your posture as you spoke to the man. He laughed at your words, sipping on his drink as he gave you a smirk.

"I don't think I've ever seen you before. You new around here?" He questioned, setting his drink down, still looking at you as he waited for you to reply. "No, I don't come here often, but I've been around for a few years." You replied, turning to the bartender and signalling for another drink, sliding him the cash as he poured it. The man hummed, staying silent for a moment as he took another swig of what appeared to be whiskey. "I recognise you, what's your name?" He enquired, and you looked at him rather suspiciously. You were surprised it took him this long to recognise you. A lot of guys wouldn't take this long to realise you were Lucifer's partner.

Dating the king of hell was amazing, but it did come with a lot of publicity. Even though Lucifer tried to stay out of the public eye, it did often result in your private dates being crashed by at least one nosey reporter. So, to say you weren't the talk of Hell for a while would be a lie.

"Y/n, but I'm sure you've not seen me before" You dismissed, not feeling up to discussing your relationship with the king to other sinners who would only be friendly to you knowing Lucifer was loaded. The man gasped, his smirk returning to his face as he realised, "Holy shit, you're Lucifers bitch! That's how I knew your face. Damn what you doin' here? He not satisfying ya?". A sigh escaped your lips. Of course the first question would be about his performance in bed. "I'm sorry, I didn't get your name. What was it again?" You asked, your tone turning cold as you began to feel disinterested in the man sat beside you.

"Jackson." He smiled before continuing. "I throw some bomb parties. You should come to one sometime." You internally groaned. Honestly, nothing sounded worse. Being in a room full of frat boys who are stuck like this for eternity? No thanks. "I'll pass on that, I gotta go, sorry." You dismissed, quickly getting up from your stool, holding onto the bar due to your slight drunken state. As you walked towards the exit, Jackson calls on you, quickly walking up to you when you exit the bar and enter the street outside.

"Could I at least get your number? Or walk you home, c'mon, I bet I could make you feel so much better than the short stuff you're banging." He smirked, snickering at his own words, and it internally made you cringe. "Again, I'll pass." You responded, walking past him as you began to walk home, either to the hotel or to Lucifer's. You weren't sure, but you were going somewhere. He grabbed your wrist, and you turned to look at him with annoyance in your eyes. "Look, you seem nice, but I have a boyfriend, I'm really not interested and I'd love to go home so, if you could get your hands off me, I'd appreciate that." You snapped, which caused Jacksons demeanour to change.

"Hey, I was being nice, no need to get pissy! Just, why don't you come with me?" He spoke, almost ordering you to go with him. His grip on your wrist got tighter, and you were sure it would bruise. "I said I'm not interested, now will you -" You spoke before being cut off by a familiar voice, which made you want to disappear then and there. "Excuse me, but they said they aren't interested, so please, leave them alone and go back to whatever hole you may have crawled out of." Lucifer's familiar voice spoke, talking to Jackson with a condescending tone to it.

Jackson's hand freed your wrist, and within seconds, you were watching him run down the street and out of sight. Lucifer turned to you, worry and panic in his gaze and voice. "Are you okay? I've been trying to find you for hours, I was worried, you aren't hurt, are you?" His hands came up to your face, like he was inspecting you for any sign of injury. "I'm fine." You spoke, your tone coming off harsher than you intended. "Sweetheart, you don't sound fine." Lucifer replied softly, the tiny height difference between you making him tilt his head up to meet your eyes.

"Lucifer, I'm fine, I promise. I can handle myself." You snapped, moving your gaze to the pavement you were stood on. "That's not the part I'm worried about, I know you can handle yourself, but I know what these people are like, they're awful, I just worry that they'll take advantage of you when you're vulnerable." His tone was still soft and full of worry, contrasting your harsh tone. Lucifer sighed when you stayed silent, reading you're body language and expression to understand how you felt.

"Look, I get that you might not have wanted me to come here, but honey, I worry about you so much and I care about you, i couldn't sit around knowing you were out of reach somewhere in this shit hole whilst having a breakdown." Lucifer added, continuing to look at your face even though you were still focused on the pavement, your eyes glassy as tears welled up in them. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't keep doing this, I-I thought I was getting better." You mumbled as you began to cry. You didn't even care that you were standing in a street anymore. You just wanted to go home.

Lucifer pulled you into his arms, a hand resting on the back of your head as you broke down, crying onto his shoulder. It took a moment before you had stopped, "Can we go home, please?" You croaked out, sniffling as you pulled your head away to look at Lucifer. "Of course." Lucifer smiled, and within seconds, Lucifer had teleported you both back to his Palace. You were now stood in his bedroom, the gold accents bringing out the main theme of red throughout the room.

"Would you like to talk about what's going on?" Lucifer softly asked, his hands resting on your shoulders. "There's nothing that you don't know to talk about, I just woke up and I wanted to disappear. I'm sorry I made you worry. I thought I was getting better..I just, don't want to keep making you this worried about me." You spoke, voice cracking as you began to tear up again. Lucifers hands cupping your face made you look at him, and he looked at you with a loving gaze that made you feel everything you felt today begin to disappear.

"I know, sweetheart, but please don't apologise for that. You've done nothing wrong, and you've not upset me. Sure, you had me pretty worried, but that's because I care, and I couldn't bear to lose you. You don't realise this, but you have truly, and single-handedly, brought a happiness back into my life that I didn't think I'd ever see again." He paused, giving you a chance to take in his words as he wiped a tear that had fallen onto your cheek.

"What I'm trying to say is you are the most beautiful being I've ever had the pleasure of laying my eyes upon in my immortal life, and I believe that you don't deserve to be down here, you're too sweet and kind and loving for your own good! You make so many people, including myself, smile every day, and I just want to see you smile like that for a change." Lucifer finished, keeping his eyes locked onto yours. You stared at him in awe, eyes widening as you listened to his words, such loving and sweet words that no one had ever spoken to you before.

Feeling lost for words would be an understatement. You were completely taken aback, and for a moment, as you looked into your lovers eyes, it all went quiet. The loving words he spoke were the only things running through your mind, and for the first time in a while, including your time alive and in hell, everything went quiet. "I love you." Those three words were the only words you could put together in response to his, and it was the first time you had said those words in a while. It was Lucifer's turn to be taken aback, as he had already told you he loved you. He was being patient with you and giving you the time you needed to return those words to him. There was no pressure or judgement with him.

"I love you too, my darling, more than I can put into words." Lucifer softly spoke, leaning up to place a gentle kiss to your forehead. You stayed like this for a moment, Lucifer held you close to him, he didn't want to lose you like that again. It was quiet for a moment before the sound of your favourite slow song had begun to play, and Lucifer gently swayed you to the gentle beat. One day you'd figure out how he could do that.

"Dance with me, please," He invited, his tone soft as he held you close. "I'm too sad to dance, Luci." You replied with a small laugh, yet you placed your arms over his shoulders, silently accepting his offer.

"No one is too sad to dance, sweetheart."

🎀

HOLY SHIT THAT TOOK ME A WHILE 😭

anyways, I hope its okay! I kinda get carried away with plot but I'm low-key debating making a part two (no I'm not)

Anyways this was NOT proof read and its 1:36am so, please leave me some constructive criticism.

Thanks bts for inspiring this whole thing 🫶

Word count:??????

Edit: it's been proof read never let me write past 1 am again. Also please say someone got the Jackson Wang joke cuz I'm giggling over my own mind honestly you wouldn't think I'm legally an adult.

#hazbin lucifer x reader #hazbin hotel #lucifer morningstar #hazbin lucifer #hazbin hotel lucifer #lucifer x reader #lucifer morningstar x reader #fanfic #fanfiction #hazbin hotel x reader #angst #fluff #hurt/comfort #can you tell i like to write how i feel?#thanks bts for being the soundtrack to this

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