astral-disastral

[astral-disastral]

Any systems wanna be friends?

I previously has a system friend irl but… this person SAed me & stole a bunch of money from me. I had to move states because this person was dangerous but…

I’ve been pretty lonely if I’m being honest. I kept this person in my life as long as I did because I needed community, and I stayed away from every system since then because obviously being taken advantage of and SAed by my “friend” was very traumatic.

Im in a better headspace now, and I’d really like other system friends to confide in. It’s been a lot healing from that, and I’d love to connect with other people who are like me

Feel free to send me a PM if you’re looking for another diagnosised DID pal💕

#dissociative identity disorder #diagnosed system #endos dni #actuallyplural #did osdd #alters #dissociate #multiplicity #actuallymultiple #let’s be friends

[astral-disastral]

Telling people about having DID can be really exposing irl. Suddenly you realize they’re psychoanalyzing you CONSTANTLY, & you kind of feel like a science experiment to those who almost romanticize your alters

Like I know I wanted to be seen, but maybe not THAT seen. Crawl out of my brain just a couple inches would ya

#dissociative identity disorder #did osdd #multiplicity #actuallyplural #actuallymultiple #dissociate #dissociative alters #diagnosed system

[astral-disastral]

I used to be pretty big in the syscourse community, but if I’m being honest, the amount of misinformation on here became way too much for me

Watching people fake your mental illness while spewing nonsense about mental health is so discouraging, it makes you ashamed of your own community & the ableism was not something I had the capacity for when I stopped posting about a year ago

That being said, I’m gonna start posting on here again, but it’s going to be more centered around Dissociative Identity Disorder & my own experiences so my page is a place where people with DID/OSDD can relate to each other

I’m not completely removing myself from the syscourse conversation, but I think we ALL need to step away from it just a little bit & talk about the importance of people with DID sharing their stories.

If you are someone with DID/OSDD or are curious about the disorders, you are more than welcome here. If not, please take a step back and realize we will not see eye to eye on it & you’re only lashing out at a mentally ill person trying to share their story & frustration

Love y’all, & I’m glad to be back & more capable of sharing things about myself🫶💗

#dissociative identity disorder #diagnosed system #did osdd #multiplicity #actuallymultiple #alters #actuallyplural #dissociate

[astral-disastral]

If my mental illnesses had a conversation

DID: so it’s my job to take the memories, junk them to 4 different drawers, and make it super hard to communicate feelings effectively

MDD: wow bro same, I just make the willpower to reach out nearly nonexistent!

AVPD: actually me too, I just convince the brain that everyone hates us instead

Selective mutism: lol y’all are funny, you could skip all those steps by just pumping the body with so much anxiety that speaking is impossible anyways

DID: damn go team

MDD: I didn’t realize how disconnected from communication we are, there’s no hope

AVPD: yeah and everyone hates you

Selective mutism: shut the fuck up

#my communication is shit #dissociative identity disorder #actuallyplural #multiplicity #actuallymultiple #did osdd #syscourse #did #multiple system #pluralgang #avoidant personality disorder #major depressive disorder #selective mutism #avpd #mdd #mental illness #mentally ill

[astral-disastral]

I’m lowkey sick of endos saying shit like, “DID iS sO UNdeR REseaRCh sO HoW DO yoU knOW??”

Like bro, have you like, looked for reliable sources even once? Sure you can say it’s less researched in comparison to other more common disorders, but there is SO much research on DID, and the fact that you don’t know that is precisely the problem.

#shit endos say #misinformation #dissociative identity disorder #syscourse #multiplicity #actuallymultiple #actuallyplural #actually plural #discourse #plurality #syscource #multiple system #anti endo #anti endogenic

[astral-disastral]

The urge to completely unravel your majorly traumatized psyche for the betterment of your mental health but also the incapability to remember or genuinely explain those emotions when it’s actually time to talk about them because you’re not the one who actually feels them

#dissociative identity disorder #amnesia man #did osdd #multiplicity #actuallyplural #actuallymultiple #plurality #multiple system #actually plural #mental illness #emotionally restricted gang

[astral-disastral]

The denial is real pt. 2

On a real note though…. why does it make you feel better? What’s wrong with calling it what it is?

Internalized ableism? Denial? Both?

#shit endos say #the denial is real #actuallyplural #multiplicity #syscourse #endogenic #plurality #anti endo #dissociative identity disorder #syscource #discourse #anti endogenic #actuallymultiple #actually plural #actually multiple

[astral-disastral]

You’re literally admitting that they are pretending…. And then saying it’s a valid reason to believe you aren’t pretending

The more actors embody their roles the more believable it becomes, but it still doesn’t negate the fact that they not actually who they’re pretending to

Also “I can’t prove it” then why tf are you talking

#shit endos say #shit singlets say #do they realize how stupid they sound or are they actually that stupid challenge #at least your admitting to it being an act I meaaaaannnn #syscourse #actuallyplural #multiplicity #plurality #syscource #anti endo #anti endogenic #misinformation

[astral-disastral]

The fact that my account goes from talking about research to straight roasting ableists to sweet memes of mental illness is really indicative of which one I'm dealing with

Ah yes, despite my best efforts, I am still in fact, symptomatic

#dissociative identity disorder #actuallymultiple #did #did osdd #actuallyplural #multiplicity #mental illness #plurality #actually plural #did memes #syscourse

[astral-disastral]

“I don’t know what I’m talking about, but here’s my opinion anyway”

Almost got it there at the end, but come on

#shit endos say #it’s almost like alters have roles to help you through different traumatic things WOW #multiplicity #syscourse #discourse #actuallyplural #actually plural #syscource #misinformation #anti endo

[astral-disastral]

Idek what to say to this one help-

#shit endos say #shit singlets say #actuallyplural #syscourse #discourse #do they realize how stupid they sound or are they actually that stupid challenge #multiplicity #misinformation #syscource #endogenic #anti endo #dissociative identity disorder

[astral-disastral]

actually no lets talk about the anti-vaxx comparison 

ignores the amount of studies behind why DID/OSDD1/UDD are the disorders they are

surrounds themselves with their (extremely insular) community

refuses to look into the science of things that they experience

gets defensive when asked for sources

has begun admitting they’re anti-psych

tells scientists/clinicians they dont know what they’re talking about

use spirituality as a way to escape criticism 

high level of racism in the community

when asked to do a modicum of research, they bring up a tumblr post or a carrd (similar to bringing up a facebook post or tweet, or hell they’ll use those too)

”ive done my own research” but has no scholarly journals to back up anything that they say

feel free to rb, add on, etc., that’s just what i can think of off the top of my head. either way, if your community begins to be comparable to anti-vaxxers, maybe it’s time to take a good hard look at your community.

#THIS #syscourse #anti endo #actuallyplural

[astral-disastral]

Apparently DID/OSDD doesn’t exist anymore

“But when I appropriate it, that’s def real”

Do they realize the double edged sword they’re falling on, or are they actually that stupid?

#shit endos say #shit singlets say #do they realize how stupid they sound or are they actually that stupid challenge #dissociative identity disorder #actuallyplural #multiplicity #actuallymultiple #discourse #syscourse #actuallyendogenic #endogenic #actually plural #plurality #did #pluralgang #syscource #misinformation #anti endo #didcringe

[astral-disastral]

I’ve gotten a lot of messages from people saying they were hesitant to even start getting help because they had been told, “it takes 6-12 years for you to get a DID diagnosis”, so I decided to educate myself on the validity of this statement(since it only took me a few months to get diagnosed as an adult).

This statement has more to do with the fact that DID is under diagnosed in adolescence, than the fact that it takes your therapist years to diagnoses you when you are aware that your system exists. There are a couple reasons this is the case, one being under training and skepticism, but also the very nature of DID symptoms.

Pre-DID is a hard disorder to diagnose in children, because symptoms can often look like adolescent turmoil or the early stages of another mental disorder. It is also a very common experience for people with DID to not be aware of the fact that they have DID, especially in childhood. This doesn’t mean that everyone doesn’t, but also makes it harder for psychologists to diagnoses when you yourself are not aware of your symptoms, and those symptoms could look like other illness. Since most people start therapy in childhood(link/link), it makes sense that it would take undertrained and skeptical therapists a long time to diagnose children with DID.

That all being said, you’re chances of being diagnosed fairly early are SO MUCH HIGHER when you’re already aware of your systems existence and can vocalize your experience, and when you’re already an adult. It just so happens that adulthood is generally when people realize these symptoms effect their everyday function, and it’s a hard disorder to diagnose in children.

If your worried about getting help because it will take a doctor “6-12 years” to even believe you, please stop worrying about that. There is no “set amount of years” a psyche has to see you before giving a diagnoses. They give you one when you express the same symptoms, and/or when they catch those symptoms themselves.

#dissociative identity disorder #misconceptions #diagnosis #did osdd #multiplicity #actuallyplural #did #actuallymultiple #actually plural #plurality #misinformation #multiple system #diagnosed system #mental illness

[astral-disastral]

The denial is real

#shit endos say #do they realize how stupid they sound or are they actually that stupid challenge #dissociative identity disorder #did osdd #multiplicity #syscourse #discourse #endogenic #actuallyplural #plurality #syscource #misinformation #internal ableism frfr #anti endo #actually multiple

[astral-disastral]

"I have no problem with mentally ill people as long as they dont make it a part of their personality!"

people with personality/identity disorders:

#dissociative identity disorder #personality disorder #did osdd #multiplicity #did memes #shit singlets say

[astral-disastral]

thank you so much!

so hyped yall actually liked it, my brain is FILLED with random existential thoughts like this

So I’m gonna make a random philosophical post about perceptions of self by comparing humans to birds, so if you aren’t into weird existential thoughts, this probably isn’t for you.

So, I took veterinary classes in college. One thing that we learned about was something called anthropomorphism, which is basically applying human characteristics and behaviors to nonhuman things, particularly with animals in this context. This doesn’t sound like an important word to remember or think about, but it is when talking about basic animal needs and separating what we perceive to be a human emotion, when in fact it is not. For example, someone comes in with a cat saying,

“He’s just so mean! He pees on my bed every other day, it’s like he does it on purpose.”

When dealing with a statement like this, you have to separate what the owner perceived as “him being mean” from what is actually happening in the situation to find true cause of this behavior. Some potential causes for a cat peeing on your bed may be his litterbox placement/material, which may make the cat uncomfortable. Medically, they could have something like a bladder infection or a UTI that caused them to do this.

Recognizing when pet owners are anthropomorphizing is important because people often can assign the wrong reasoning to why their animal is doing something, which doesn’t help solve the problem that is causing it in the first place. An owner might find a shelter to surrender an animal to for a behavior that could have been solved, or an animals conditions may lead to further complications if untreated. So as silly as this word is, it’s important to see when pet owners are doing this so you can lead them down the most helpful path for them and their animal.

So, here’s where things gets weird

I’ve been think about this word a lot for some reason, and it made me think of how we could reverse this role. How maybe instead of personifying animals through anthropomorphism, I could simplify my own emotions towards myself by putting myself into the perspective of an animal with less complex emotions than my own. So when thinking about this, and my own perception of self, I wanted to put myself “into the mind” of an animal that has a lesser self awareness than I.

So, I thought about my grandfathers old bird. He was an only bird, and had a mirror in his cage that he was obsessed with. I wondered, why was he so obsessed with it? If birds have no concept of self awareness, why did he spend so much time looking at it and exclaiming to himself? Dogs don’t do that, they can’t even comprehend their reflection in the first place. The answer was kind of silly, but also raised even more questions within myself.

Although birds can conceptualize that their reflection exists, they perceive it as a different bird. Upon further research, I also learned that it wasn’t a good idea to have a mirror in their cage, and that this obsession was actually extremely unhealthy for their physical and mental health. Because they think it is another bird, they spend all their time essentially talking to nobody and obsessing over a reality that doesn’t exist, and when put with other birds later in life, it can massively disrupt their social behavior/function with them. And this isn’t a easy obsession for the bird to turn around from once it’s started, since taking the mirror away could cause massive distress because the bird views this image of themselves as a their only companion.

I sat on this thought for a while. Although birds do not perceive their reflection the same way we do our own, I felt there was a lesson to be had by trying to understand why this is harmful for the bird, and how this obsession over the imagine of yourself could be applied to my own extremely complex feelings in comparison. If a bird could be so massively effected by their reflection like this without even being able to comprehend it as their own, what does that say about how deeply I am effected by my own obsessions with my reflection?

This made me think about how long I spend in the mirror, in the selfie side of my phone camera, in the editing process of pictures of myself. I spend a lot of time obsessing, whether it be bad(mostly), or even things that I consider desirable about myself. And I realized,

I’m a freaking bird with a mirror in its cage

Except I can analyze myself with self awareness, I can internalize even deeper what that reflection tells me, I can learn all the same unhealthy obsessive behaviors from an even larger range of emotions and understanding of myself. This perception of myself effects my social function, how I feel about myself when interacting with people, how I choose to communicate based on that perception of my own physical being, how even good obsessions of my image give me a false sense of comfort. This obsession that we see in birds with mirrors, even though vastly different from humans, shows how much perception can effect the psyche even without the full range of human emotions and understanding.

I’m not sure exactly how to wrap up the crazy rabbit hole I just went down, but to all my fellow birds out there, maybe it’s time to take the mirror out of your cage too.