alicejohnson

[alicejohnson]

Is Icebreaker for AFTG Fans? I don't think so...

I've seen multiple posts talking about how this book is a wonderful option for people who loved the All For The Game Trilogy and as a -I have Andrew tattooed in my arm- fan, I had to read it. Here's the tea so you don't have to (yep, not even close)

Stars: ⭐⭐

Minor spoilers ahead.

Now, what's the main issue with this book? It's shallow.

Romance? Lacking, no chemistry.

Feelings? Pretty much there, literally on your face every 4 sentences but for no reason. No heart to heart, no comfort, no "trashing the whole room because I hate you all". Nothing just "he felt his knees go weak" 500 times in a row.

Banter? Non-existent (for enemies to lovers? One of the dudes was complimenting the other guy's eyes in like the second sentence)

So basically, the protagonist is this dude called Mickey - a hockey player - who suffers from depression and has to carry the weight of being the descendant from god-like players since his grandfather.

The love interest, Jason, is the self-made stellar hockey player that had a rough childhood and is threatening to steal the title of "ultimate high school hockey player" from Mickey, a dude he supposedly hates because he had everything handed to him since birth.

That's for you to get an idea of what are we talking about, but to leave this as spoiler free as possible, I'm just going to say that I never read a conversation between these two about their feelings in the entire thing, that was not about their relationship (they had one pretty lame one almost at the end and it lasted 5 paragraphs).

Andrew was Neil's rock, and that did not mean they had to have hearts to hearts every second but we knew. "You are fox Neil, you are always going to be nothing" chef's kiss.

In this book, on the other hand, Mickey is coming from a hard night after mixing his meds with alcohol cause he is self-destructive like that and tells Jason that he's sorry for almost passing out on him, because of his meds (Jason is unaware of his condition cause he doesn't ask Mickey why he always looks half dead, why would he care, right?). Anyways, Jason straight up ignores that sentence and dead-ass goes into a rant about a girl supposedly Mickey was flirting with. Excuse me?

That happens the whole fucking book. Is like they are not even on the same wavelength. The contrast between Mickey's thoughts and the rest of the world and his relationship with Jason is so frustrating that it made me want to throw the book to the other side of my room.

And yeah, you might think that's the point right? No bru, cause basically, it ends up in "Jason made everything better for me, and made me want to put my shit together" ¿?¿?

Now his family comes into play too, but you know what's funny? The author wants me to believe that Mickey had a pretty rough childhood but loves his sisters and his parents come to a full 180º redemption arc worthy of the power-of-love-anime type of bullshit. If his family was as the author depicted them in the book, there's no way the kid is as traumatized or alone/isolated as they want me to believe.

Is like the author wanted so bad to make us see that depression can mess up your head enough to make you believe negative things that are completely false (hence the loving family vs his feeling of loneliness/lack of sense of belonging), that they forgot plot was a thing. Another minor spoiler but Mickey basically talks to his sisters 24/7, and his parents are there for him when he calls, but apparently, he is completely lonely in his depression, that no one in his family knows he has it, even when Mickey told us it got so bad he went into the hospital for multiple days? So he talks 24/7 with them and non of them were like "heyo, u good kid?" Yeah right, makes no sense.

So, look it's kinda fun, short, sweet? You can read in one sitting. But no one is ever going to convenience me this is a good thing for us AFTG fans. It's just another cute book, with a lot less plot and depth than idk, Red White and Royal Blue.

Now don't come crying that AFTG is not even good, it's not. I know, but it makes you feel things, this does not. Well, just frustration.

Uff a whole rant but it makes me angry when people compare things I love to things I hate. lol.

If you reached this point, send me a DM, I love you. Thanks.

#aftg series #aftg #icebreaker book #book review #spare yourselves from this one besties #all for the game #book reccs #lgbtq books

[alicejohnson]

I just finish the Captive Prince Trilogy and, excuse my language, wtf did I just read? I need to dump my thoughts here :

SPOILERS :D

This is definitely not a romance, it's political fiction.

The sheer bluntness of everything is a lot to take in. From Laurent's remarks to the oversexualized word-building to the hurt, and coldness of some moments. It's harsh.

I should have definitely read the TW. There were whole ass chapters I just felt deep horrifying anxiety and that's entirely my fault.

I feel there are LOTS of hidden messages, hints, premonitions, political moves, and dialogues that I didn't fully understand or catch...which makes me angry, lol. These are the kind of books you need to re-read or talk about with someone in a "What do you think Laurent meant when he..." cause besties, what a ride.

The ending felt kind of rushed. We talked a lot more about simple trips than the finale, but it was poetic so ok?

LAURENT IS SO FUCKING SMART. Poor boy.

I liked the way the author never forgot about Laurent's trauma or Damen's, but I hate it was never truly addressed. Like Damen never questioned why Laurent was so afraid of the whole sex thing? Kind of obtuse to the point of pain. Laurent never said anything about Damen's time as a slave when they hated each other?

Like this is 100% true enemies to lovers. They don't address these things because they barely tolarete each other I guess (even when there's love), but if this was AO3 it would be #HurtNoComfort.

I'm not smart enough to not hate Laurent, I'm sorry. I know he protected Damen and even begged for him at the end, but he was pushing his own agenda 90% of the time. I can't forgive him. What he did to Damen was worse than killing a brother in the middle of a war. And because I can't decipher all his convoluted plots, I don't see how he had a redemption arc that erases everything.

Yes, Laurent was traumatized and quite literally fighting for his life and getting revenge for years of abuse. But, thinking about how he twisted Damen's hand in the tent scene....I can't.

That's it, let me go read some fanfics.

#Damen and Laurent #captive prince trilogy #captive prince #lgbtq books #cs pacat #laurent x damen #laurent captive prince #damen captive prince #damianos of akielos #laurent of vere

[alicejohnson]

I have to keep writing about this to properly get out how mad I am.

Do you all remember that popular sound on tiktok that said "Why do we prefer the bad guy over the good one? Because the good one would lose you to save everyone, but the bad guy will let the world burn to have you"

Well that's bullshit, you know who did that? Tamlin. He literally sold his soul, land, army, people, and Lucien to get Feyre back. When one character actually lets the world burn is not that appealing anymore is it?

What you all actually mean is "I want a bad guy that is secretly good, and saves me and the world because of course that's what happens in fantasy books".

Tamlin was abusive, yes, but they did him SO dirty that I can't stop hating this books. SJM wanted him to be horrible so we loved Rhys instead. The problem is, she kinda forgot sometimes. He saved Feyre even at the end but he got a "thank you" card. Lol. Ridiculous.

Also, again, Lucien was r*ped, traumatized, he didn't help Feyre cause he was under Tamlin manipulation too, the only friend he always had after his family fucked him over, but still, everyone was a dick to him at the Night Court. He always protected Feyre as much as his trauma allowed but they were all so unfair. I hated them.

I'm never getting over this.

(Side note: you know who else got so overly obsessed over Feyre's safety that became cunning, manipulative and hid things from her? Rhys. Oh but he is sooo romantic...bullshit)

#acotar #sorry if you love this books #keep loving them #I do not hate you #you are valid #dont come for me

[alicejohnson]

Imagine this...

Just finished If We Were Villains, I cried, a lot.

But hear me out, spoilers ahead:

When we were getting closer and closer to the end, I swore that James did what he did to protect Oliver from the fury of Richard after he slept with Meredith. Instead of insulting their sexuality, saying something like "I'm going to kill him" (but poetically ofc) Imagine how freaking sad?

I know it's the culmination of Oliver as the ever-loyal sidekick to sacrifice himself like that, but if he would've done that after James did the same...chef's kiss.

Still one of my favorite 2021 reads. Beautiful.

#if we were villains #oliver marks #james farrow #dark academia books #this was soooo good #I read it in one sitting

[alicejohnson]

Today we are getting into YA LGBTQ+ Fantasy (yey!) with the first book of The Tarot Sequence.

Stars: ⭐⭐⭐

The review in itself is pretty much spoiler-free, but thoughts and interactions with this post are not.

What is it about: It took me a while, but basically a sudden disappearance mystery set on New Atlantis which so happens to be ruled by powerful families... that use devices to channel their magic and are named after the Major Arcana of Tarot? Yeah.

Warnings?: Child abuse, r*pe, torture, injuries, blood, death, strong language, and well, violence.

Writing: I liked it a lot! The dialogues sometimes felt a bit strained, not as natural as they could've been, but it was funny and the world-building was nice. The fight scenes were properly described, just sometimes it felt a little cartoonish.

Plot: In the beginning, it was really hard for me to get hooked. The names are so similar that you get completely lost and it takes a while to warm up to the characters. Also, I felt that the start dragged on for a while.

As the story progresses, there are things that either don't make sense or are never fully explained and it seems like the author forgot about them. Yes, it might be part of the mystery, but it didn't feel like that, it just felt strategically ignored for plot convenience.

Example: How in the world does a Companion bond work? Is it optional? Is Brand an obsessed bastard out of love/platonic soulmate thing (such as the Parabatai) or is there something in the bond that makes him - talking about can't control it, 100% obligated- protect Rune? That didn't sit right with me.

Side note: This is a very personal opinion, but I think some of the things regarding Rune's assault were too graphic for no reason. I never got the point of having a deeply traumatized character in that way. He could've been a survivor just fine without that happening which for me was a bit morbid, so out of the blue, and unnecessary that I didn't like it. BUT, who am I to judge what the author wants the character to go through?

Characters: This is what made this book a 3-star rating. Rune is such a wonderful MC. Never giving up, with a great sense of humor, risking everything to keep his people safe, and such a sassy bitch that I had to fall in love with him. Addam is nice, respectful, smart, sometimes obtuse to the point of physical pain, but a nice balance to the other characters. Brand, oh boy I'm getting shit for this, I can see it, but he was completely one-dimensional and that made him annoying. He literally was only thinking about HIS feelings when speaking with Rune.

Example (with spoilers): The shower scene was all about how he felt like shit for not being there, not about Rune relieving his trauma? Excuse me, sir, this is not about you? And this was something that happened constantly.

Also, I get it, he is explosive, but it got ridiculous. He is the one that felt cartoonish. There's a certain amount of yells and swear words a man can say repeatedly and still be taken seriously. He went way over that.

I do recommend it, it's fun, it goes against toxic masculinity, loved that being LGBTQ+ was normal as hell, we stan that kind of world. Rune and Brand being supper protective of each other was endearing most of the time and their banter is perfect. The magic and the actual plot were entertaining. So yeah, give it a go :)

“My name is Rune Saint John. I am, before anything else, a survivor:”

#the last sun #rune saint john #brand saint john #addam saint nicholas #the tarot sequence #book review #lgbtq books

[alicejohnson]

Andrew is always quiet...

I just finished my third (?¿) re-read of AFTG, and I really can't believe how LITTLE Andrew talks... especially after the whole Baltimore thing. I really want to know his POV. I know there are fanfics (wonderful, I've been told) about that out there, but I don't want to go delulu and make fanon canon in my head. But anyway, I can't believe he's my whole ass comfort character, I have a TATTOO because of him, and 99% of the time I have no idea wtf is he thinking. Nice.

Also, Neil talks A LOT in comparison, I'm impressed.

#aftg #andrew minyard #neil josten #this books are my life and im not even sorry #do re-read count for your yearly goal? #this fuckers are not letting me reach it #also Dan is fucking great but Allison def is my favorite bad bitch

[alicejohnson]

Today we have a chick flick made into a book! And it`s LGBTQ+ (I'm figuring out my sexuality what can I do, all the books I've read the past week are queer 🏳️‍🌈). Also, that means it's a chick flick without chicks lol. But you get the point.

Stars: ⭐⭐⭐ / .5

The review in itself is pretty much spoiler-free, but thoughts and interactions with this post are not.

The author, Casey McQuiston, is non-binary (they are ok with any pronouns, but I'll stick to they/them/their)

What is it about: The love affair between the First Son of the United States of America and His Royal Highness the Prince of Wales. That's it.

Warnings?: Homophobia, internalized homophobia, homophobic slurs, mild graphic sexual content, a lot of swear words.

Writing: This is the best thing about the goddamn book. It's full of sassiness, creative e-mails, snarky remarks, witty dialogues, just lovely. I had a lot of fun reading it and actually laughed out loud multiple times. The only downside I saw is that it failed to be profound or "poetic", even when trying to. There were emotional parts that missed the tone and seemed very superficial. Also, some of the British characters had dialogues that came off as a little bit forced. (I'm not British, let's clarify that. It just didn't fit my idea of how British sounds based on other types of media I've consumed)

Plot: Quite heavy on American politics, culture, and history. If you are not familiar with it and the entire voting system, you'll get lost eventually. Emails, references, and conflicts might be very confusing as well. Most importantly, it has zero, ZERO conflict. I didn't feel the tension at all at any time. I did have some angst, but very minimal. The only moment of pure tension I felt was regarding the character's sexuality and how scary that can be (talking about it, figuring it out, coming out. All of it is terrifying). The rest of the "issues" seemed very childish. Maybe I'm not the target audience for this in my mid-twenties, but I was like "stop whining omg" half of the time.

Other than that is pretty much fluff, slice of life, parties, internal monologues, a campaign race, a little bit of found family, and coming of age - in terms of what the fuck do I do with my future- expensive flights and trips. Maybe Gossip Girl meets Scandal?

Side note: the ending is completely irrational, idealistic and that's never going to happen anytime soon but ok. It was cute.

Characters: Alex is a freaking blessing and an icon. I literally love him. He is the perfect "feisty" type of character that is not annoying or just plain out rude. He is perfect, compassionate, smart, witty, caring, so sweet, and ugh. I love him. On the other hand, Henry "The Prince", is also very smart but a lot less cool. He's more insecure, troubled, "dark" but not in a "bad boy" type. More in the "sometimes I'm depressed and need hugs". Both of them are precious.

The girl characters are AMAZING. Strong, with healthy relationships, also kind of queer without anything explicitly mentioned, and badass. They have an actual role and are not limited to being "cute" at all. Refreshing. Also, the brotherly love is strong in this one. We stan healthy family relationships.

I do recommend it, it is very nice, quite fun, easy to read (besides the politics) and very witty. Is it the groundbreaking story of the year as booktok labels it? No. Absolutely not.

Thoughts:

This book made me think about two things:

1. LGBTQ+: As someone who has struggled with discovering their sexuality all their life, this book made me cry. I had my own Liam who I treated horribly because of my internalized homophobia. After I came to terms with not being straight, seeing someone as powerful as the son of POTUS exclaim to the world "I'm bisexual" made my heart skip a beat and the only thing I could think was "can you imagine? wouldn't that be wonderful?" I always thought that my sexuality was a "me" thing. Both in terms of deciding what it was, and who to tell -not my parents for example- but after reading that, I understood how powerful coming out can be. Amazing.

2. Love: When Alex tells Henry's sister that he "loves him with purpose" I also understood a lot of things. Love is something you decide, and that decision is unilateral. Meaning, we should never attach "conditionals" to our love cause in the end it is our choice. Traditional love has made us believe that "falling in love" is just something that happens and I don't think that's the case. We talk so much about love but we regard it as something that happens without learning about it, being responsible, and understanding the choices we make.

Alex loved Henry unilaterally, with purpose, responsibly, aware that he had his demons. We should all do that, don't you think? :)

“I am the First Son of the United States, and I'm bisexual. History will remember us.”

#red white and royal blue #alex claremont diaz #henry prince of wales #lgbtq books #booktok #book review #cheesy af

[alicejohnson]

Entering the world of C-Dramas, let's do a Word of Honor Review. Disclaimer: I've never read the novel, this is only based on the adaptation.

Stars: ⭐⭐⭐

The review in itself is pretty much spoiler-free, but thoughts and interactions with this post might not be.

What is it about: It's the story of two masters of martial arts from the cultivation world who have been wronged. One looks for revenge for his dead family and the other for punishment - and later redemption/forgiveness from himself- for his past actions. It's not BL, but it is based on a BL novel.

Warnings?: Violence because of the fight scenes, there's blood and torture.

Plot: I believe that because they had to cram everything in 36 episodes, the time skips are a bit weird and it didn't always make sense because they didn't have time to perfectly explain everything. In some episodes, I was left very confused and the pacing is also not great. Setting that aside, it is a very interesting plot full of politics, power struggles, love, beautiful found family dynamics, and soulmates. The world-building is amazing (again, hard to follow, but quite interesting) and it left me wanting to read the novel so I could fully immerse myself into the mechanics of it all.

Now, considering the low budget, the censorship, and all the hardships they had to endure, the production is amazing but don't expect high-quality special effects.

Side note: the writing is beautiful. One of the MC spoke a lot in Chinese poems -idk if that is the exact name, maybe using proverbs is more accurate- which had wonderful teachings, and turned the conversations very profound.

Characters: Another side effect -at least for me- of the time skips is that I did not always understand the characters' motivations or the importance of their actions so the emotion was kind of lost in the middle of the fast-paced episodes. But, I love the actors and both of the MCs were very complicated individuals and had amazing chemistry.

The only thing is that again, because it had to finish, some things that they did went unnoticed, unaccounted for, or just simply ignored (for example, Lao Wen's plot that ended in Zhou Zishu hurting himself. I would've been pissed af, but it was brushed off)

The antagonist, Scorpion, is my favorite character, he always showed a lot of emotion and he wasn't just evil for the sake of it. He was a deeply traumatized character!

I do recommend it but is definitely not my favorite. I really wished they had given them more time and resources, but the characters and world-building left me wanting more so I'm probably going to go read the novel :)

#word of honor #series review #I really wish i liked it more #i am still going to miss the days of word of honor tho #waiting for the update on yt was the thing that made me like Mondays

[alicejohnson]

I already made a messy post about this amazing book series here, but because I intend to use this blog as dumping ground for all of my thoughts properly now, I wanted to do an "official review".

Stars: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ (In my heart it's a 5-star rating, but the plot and the writing is not THE best)

The review in itself is pretty much spoiler-free, but thoughts and interactions with this post might not be.

What is it about: A found family trope that revolves around a made-up mixed-sex sport called Exy (imagine if lacrosse and hockey had a child). Oh, and all of the college students playing in the team are "troubled children". Also, it is LGBTQ+ :)

Warnings?: All of them. All of the warnings humanly possible. Graphic descriptions of violence, r*pe, child abuse, drug abuse, overdoses, death, self-harm, suicide. Someone made an entire list here. PLEASE do go over it before reading these books.

Writing: It is dialogue-heavy, and kind of cringy in the best way possible. There are times you know there's no one who speaks like that, but at the moment it sounds pretty good. It did get repetitive and some phrases are used multiple times during the entire series to the point of "yes, I know, thank you". But the banter is just immaculate though, characters' interactions are pure gold.

Plot: The story in itself is not entirely realistic, I've heard people compare it to a very good fanfic and I agree, it has mafia elements, cult-like behaviors, and sometimes it is just quite out there in the realm of reality, but it's really compelling and perfectly paced. Also, even when it's not as realistic, everything fits into place and makes sense so it's not annoying or just outright crazy. Take the plot more as a trigger for character development rather than anything else.

And it is actually a funny book. When I was not in pain, I laughed a lot. 10/10 :)

Characters: I love them so much it pains me. The way the author describes and portrays feelings and trauma is incredible. Also, it's VERY CONSISTENT. I can't remember a time I thought "wait, why is X acting like this?" (except when it came to trauma-induced behavior that I will never understand cause I've never lived through it or when I failed to unravel all the characters motivations cause again, they are very complicated people in a complicated environment).

The MC, Neil, is a cinnamon roll, and actually has one of the best arcs I've seen in a book. He grows, learns, he cares so much, and gave me all of the comfort. I understand why all of them are in love with him.

It has good representation, (females kick-ass and are treated equally by the team, I mean the freaking captain is a woman! Loved it) and characters with very different personalities, and almost no one important is completely one-dimensional.

(Andrew is my fucking comfort character and no one can change my mind)

I do recommend it, actually, I believe everyone should read this book and learn about consent, trauma, boundaries, sense of belonging, identity, and a very specific kind of love that I've never seen before.

Thoughts: This is going to be pretty short because I left all of my feelings in that post (Edit: I lied this is long af. lol) I linked at the beginning that made no sense, had lots of grammar mistakes, and typos, but I was just feeling it at the moment.

These characters came to my life to teach me that I should not just bend over for love. That my boundaries - both respecting others and my own- can be an entirely new love language.

We carry so much emotional baggage created by just existing in this fucking world that we start to believe we are unlovable, hoping for the day some magical creature will come and suddenly lift all of the weight from our shoulders. Love will now hold it for us from that moment on till forever, and that's just not true. It's never going to happen. Yes, love keeps us moving, but it won't ever be the solution to our pain.

But, the good thing is that Andrew taught me that, instead, when this magical creature does appear, we can lean on them, work on our issues by ourselves, and the days we can't it's ok too, cause they will be there.

We don't need someone to save us, we need someone who respects our boundaries, our pain, our experiences and still loves us without us needing to be fixed as a condition, without us putting ourselves in uncomfortable situations, without us feeling unlovable for feeling the way we do.

We live in a world where boundaries don't exist anymore, hell, in the middle of the pandemic we even take classes or work in our safe place, so this book reminded me that it's ok to have them and to communicate them to the people around me.

(Thank you Neil for learning with me how to ask for help)

The opposite to The Song of Achilles, these books strip everything out of romance and leave us with the raw horrifying experience of being alive, alone, and terrified and takes it to the maximum amount of trauma and pain.

But, at the same time, it teaches us to love in the middle of all that suffering and that there are good people that are willing to be with us. (Yes, Neil, there are people in the world who are horrible, but there are also others who are not)

Side note: I'm in awe at how much the foster system sucks in the USA. These books also tackle a lot of issues around police incompetence, the State's inability to protect children, social class differences, and the abuse of power authorities use on a regular basis. Chef's kiss.

“He'd come to the Foxhole Court every inch a lie, but his friends made him into someone real.”

#yes or no? #THIS IS A LONG ONE #Will I ever get over these books? #aftg #the foxhole court #neil josten #andrew minyard #book review #all for the game #andreil

[alicejohnson]

This book is one of the most recommended books on Tiktok so I had to pick it up (also, I love Greek mythology so it made total sense for me to love this and LET ME TELL YOU, I did love it)

Stars: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

The review in itself is pretty much spoiler-free, but thoughts and interactions with this post might not be.

What is it about: A retelling of The Illiad from Patroclus point of view.

Warnings?: Not really, but it is LGBTQ+ (if that's a warning I don't trust you, but guess I have to specify it). There are talks about death, killing, there's blood, human suffering, but nothing too explicit.

Plot: The pacing can be quite slow and it is definitely driven by characters, not plot. Most of the events of the Troyan War are just narrated as if it was a bedtime story with huge time skips. It is not very dialogue-heavy, very descriptive so it did give me the "ok, I understand his hair is soft, let's move on" sometimes. The writing is beautiful, very poetic, romantic, idealistic. Everything is basically romanticized to the extreme, even simple things such as figs. Also, the author did her research amazingly, to be honest. It was marvelous.

Side note: Because this is an unreliable narrator, you just get to see one side of the story. I loved it, but I know that's not for everyone.

Characters: Patroclus is as pure as he can be, and he grows and learns while he takes us through his own rollercoaster of emotions. Achilles for me was a little bit one-dimensional, but I'm guessing that's the whole point so it's not as noticeable. The rest of the characters are pretty witty and the female love interest is not annoying or antagonized as they usually are in LGBTQ+ books so that was refreshing.

I do recommend it, it is one of the purest versions of love I've ever read, but it is not a traditional romance. You won't read spicy scenes or lots of interactions between the main characters. It's more of the author telling you something is happening rather than showing you.

Thoughts: This showed me a type of love I've never seen before. Patroclus was completely in love with the idea of Achilles to the point of letting him commit genocide. I do believe Achilles loved him back, but not more than his honor which is heart-shattering in my opinion.

Patroclus had a wonderful character development arc, so much so that I dare to say the first half is a "coming of age/slice of life" story. He was insecure, timid, and tragically thought he was nothing until he didn't. He was well-respected, good in battle, a wonderful "doctor", he had balls of steel when it came to protecting those he loved, and he ran into battle for a greek demigod.

Ironically, I would say Patroclus was the one who should've become a God, but his Achilles heel was his love for that very same man. But, isn't that wonderful? To blindly love someone so much you wouldn't even dare to judge their decisions. If something was important for Achilles, Patroclus took it to heart (except for Briseis but that's something else).

Can we ever, as humans in modern society, love like that again? With that kind of devotion, admiration, simply wholeheartedly? I'm guessing we can't. There's so much going on in the world that our views on traditional romantical love have changed. We expect reciprocity, we expect reactions, love languages, gifts, we expect and expect but we never just love because we are scared of letting go. That's why we are so enamored with monogamy (which I'm not saying is wrong, of course, it isn't, whatever floats your boat) but I personally do feel like I can't trust someone with my everything if I'm not the only one, and Patroclus showed us that's not the case.

Achilles could marry or fuck whoever he wanted because he knew he loved him. Patroclus could have had children with Briseis, but he didn't. They showed me the power of just loving idealistically, romantically, passionately, and I love them for it.

“I will never leave him. It will be this, always, for as long as he will let me.”

#the song of achilles #book review #booktok #ya lgbt book #greek myhtology #achilles x patroclus #achilles #patroclus #achilles and patroclus #madeline miller

[alicejohnson]

AFTG: Book Series

I just finished reading the series and I fucking loved it. It's not the best-written book of all time, but it is comforting in a way. I have a few questions that I would like to ask tho:

1. Why did Andrew decided to protect Neil after the show with Kathy?

He said it was to keep Kevin interested, but apparently, Kevin wasn't going anywhere either way 'cause he wanted to stay in Palmetto.

2. This leads us to my second question, why did Andrew accept to protect Kevin?

I never fully understood. I know it was something to look for, something to do, to feel that wasn't as boring as life, something to hold on to, still, I feel it was too much to just accept and even go as far as protecting Neil too for it.

3. Why did Neil and Kevin thought Andrew could protect them?

He wasn't a mafia boss, like literally there's nothing he could've done - as he proved when Nathan and Riko took Niel -. Nevertheless, he still said shit like "Easy enough" when Niel asked him if he could keep him safe. (Not shit posting about Andrew, he is my comfort character, but he's actually just a strong human)

Thoughts

I will use this post as a trash can for thoughts about this book. They don't make sense probably, sorry about that.

I'm amazed about how much this book taught me about love, a sense of belonging, and trauma. I re-read the first book the other day and I couldn't believe it when Waymack said to Neil at some point "They don't understand boundaries" Oh, honey but they do.

They are actually the only fucking people on this planet that understand exactly how boundaries work. They just sometimes don't care, and when I say sometimes, I mean when they are angry or worried about someone, they wouldn't purposely go over those boundaries just for fun. Andrew never just pushed someone's buttons out of fun (maybe he said so, but he didn't. Neil for example, at first he was protecting Kevin, then he was protecting him from himself).

Also, I used to believe that when you loved someone, all your walls were supposed to come down with them, you should allow them to break those boundaries, and that thought always made me uncomfortable. The act of intimacy always made me uncomfortable. So, this book taught me that it actually isn't like that. If someone loves you, they'll respect your boundaries 'cause they know love isn't your magical answer and it's not theirs either. Individual issues should be handle like that, individually.

That's why when I read other books such as Six of Crows (SPOILERS!) and Inej tells Kaz "I'll have all of you Kaz Brekker, or not at all" I was so triggered. Why in the fuck do romantic interests in traditional romances always believe they have the right to push those boundaries, that's just manipulative. Is as if they made you unfucking-lovable until you get rid of them - like they weren't there because of trauma in the first place - something you sure as hell didn't choose to have.

So if someone EVER makes you feel like shit or that they can't love you because you have boundaries - being touched, having certain topics off limit, triggering foods, noises, etc- then get the fuck out and find someone who respects them and supports you until YOU DECIDED to it's ok to break them.

Let's get rid of this romanticization of love and how you should bend over for it.

#aftg #niel josten #andrew minyard #the foxhole court #this book gave me all the feels and non of the comfort (except it did and I even tattooed it on my arm. lol) #I cant believe andrew is my fucking comfort character #but seriously he's so considerate (with the people he wants too) #I'm a sucker for the found family trope #This has so many typos and grammatical issues #sorry about that #thinking about love it your second language is not easy

[alicejohnson]

The wonderful mind of a child. #EthicalMemes

[alicejohnson]

I love your Marvey fanfic recommendations, do you have more?

Hello there :) 

Yeah, of course I do! That’s what I do with my life: read fanfics until 5 am. 

QUICK DISCLAIMER: I’ve been in the fandom since 2016 so I’m a baby ok? I know some of this “new” fanfics aren’t as “new” or a groundbreaking discovery but bear with me. Read them again hahaha. :D 

*not in any particular order* 

1. Coming To Your Senses: This is an AU Guide/Sentinel fanfic. I had no idea what that meant (and I still don’t to be honest) but just read it. It’s well written and Trevor is not an ass. He’s kinda of cute actually. Harvey is awesome, as always, and Mike’s a little fluffy cinnamon roll.( Long one 18 chapters)

2. Pray to God (He hears You): This is a one-shot AU. Harvey’s a lawyer, Mike is a surgeon. It’s full of sassiness, cockiness and fluffiness. (I don’t know how you are able to write such great comebacks for a simple conversation) 

3. The Things I’d Do For You: PLEASE BE CAREFUL this one is dark like the f*** am I reading kind of dark. But well written with a nice plot and ending. It’s a Hurt/Comfort, angsty fic. ¿Is there a limit of what they would do for each other? 

4. My Guy: I love this one. Is slow build buy Harvey is really sweet and he actually takes care of Mike and Mike is a lovely and precious thing letting himself be taken care of (eventually). ¿What would’ve happened if Gallo got to Mike before the guards when he set him up with the camara? 

RECOMMENDATION OF THE WEEK, YEAR, CENTURY, PLEASE LISTEN TO ME AND READ IT. 

Plant My Apple Tree: I couldn’t bring myself to stop crying for 10 min straight. Read the tags carefully. It’s a beautifully written dystopian AU with Mike and Harvey trying to survive. I can’t even begin to tell you HOW FREAKING GOOD THIS FIC IS. I think it just became my favorite ever. In the world. I’m serious. 

And that’s it for today. 

Enjoy!

#lost access to this account #im saving this in my new blog #come follow me if we were mutuals #please :( #im sad #marvey #suits tv show #harvey specter #mike ross

[alicejohnson]

HELLO! Well, I lost access to this account because I changed phone numbers and I had the two-step- authentification thingy activated :( 

I’m going to leave this here in my new blog and, hopefully, my mutuals will find me eventually. While that happens, I’m going to start this blog from zero. It sucks but, oh well, now I will use my name and get back at posting content regularly. 

Merry Christmas! 

I’m not the same anon asking every week, but please, recommendations.

HELLO, I AM SORRY, DON’T KILL ME, I’M BACK 

Welcome back to your weekly Marvey-Fanfiction-Recommendations. As always, be kind to the authors, leave kudos and comments and make them feel special. 

1.  Here at the end of all things: this is a dystopian AU filled with angst and Hurt/Comfort.  I feel like the plot literally is something like  “there’s no one left in the world so let’s get together and kiss” kind of thing but it’s nice and well written.  (10,000 words One Shot) 

2.  Appetite:  WEREWOLVES! That’s it. That’s all you need to know. (actually, the plot is not thaaat good, at least for me, but the world the author created is amazing. The way packs, bonds, and werewolf “politics” work is incredible so I think it’s worth it) 

3.  7776000 &  1+1= (sequel):  both are well written and have an interesting approach to the events that followed S1E16. It’s almost an AU, I mean, Mike works at a bookstore and Harvey is a lawyer. It’s a nice and short fix-it. 

4. NOW LISTEN, I LOVE THIS FIC BUT IT IS INCOMPLETE. SO GO, READ IT, LEAVE COMMENTS AND KUDOS. Let’s give the author some motivation. 

Face Down: domestic violence AU in which Harvey is a knight in white armor and Mike bakes cookies and it’s a genius baby cinnamon roll full of life and bruises :(  The characters are perfectly good written (especially Harvey) 

RECOMMENDATION OF THE F*** MONTH: 

Unspoken: Mike is a deaf photographer that lives with Rachel, his best/lifelong friend. Rachel meets Donna on a dating website so Mike goes with her to Donna’s birthday party.  There, they meet Harvey and shit hits the fan. 

Harvey is an ass sometimes, Mike makes loud noises during sex ‘cause he can’t hear himself, is a slow-burn (painfully slow, I’m warning you) and I love it. 

#suits tv show #marvey #harvey specter #mike ross #lets start again this shitshow

[alicejohnson]

When I find my ship in times of trouble,

Fanfic authors come to me,

Speaking words of wisdom: Ao3.

[alicejohnson]

Full offense but sometimes fandom just totally make up the characterization of a character and then complain when that isn’t canon

[alicejohnson]

Sometimes love is not the tender hand of passion or the batting of a lover’s eyelashes. Sometimes it’s the bitching and moaning of your very best friends. Sometimes it’s not the rapturous embrace of carnality and connection in a partner’s bed. Sometimes its bickering with your buddies in the drive through about how they may absolutely not pay you back for the coffee. Sometimes it’s not yearning and longing and the pain of cupid’s arrows. Sometimes its losing your shit with your friends in a mostly empty grocery store. Sometimes it’s not the torture and ecstasy of devotion that can’t be spoken. Sometimes it’s shouting I love you and flipping someone off from across four lanes of traffic. Poets didn’t event love, nor should they define it, and just because nobody ever wrote about it doesn’t mean it isn’t good.