abyssal-debonair

[abyssal-debonair]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#other people’s writing #autistic #neurodiversity #disability

[abyssal-debonair]

#lol #horrible things with legs #adventure time

[abyssal-debonair]

#lol #tweets #adhd #neurodiversity

[abyssal-debonair]

Twin behavior

#Lol #other people's art #sky: children of the light #sunset elders

[abyssal-debonair]

i just bawled my eyes out and it feels like i just got the biggest hug to my soul. thank you thank you thank you. it is sacred and it is SAFE the poster will not tell anyone even what state this is in, only thats this is in USA. even if you are not indigenous i hope this lifts your spirits and comforts you.

#nature #poc #indigenous #photography

[abyssal-debonair]

So you force Ukraine to give up their nukes, you don't follow up with your "security assurances" when russia first attacked. It's 2 years after the full scale invasion, and the aid for Ukraine is paused, and now you have the audacity to tell Ukraine to not attack russian oil refineries because "think of the oil prices 🥺"

#date: 22 March 2024 #wtf #ukraine #tweets #we live in a society

[abyssal-debonair]

Some elder doodles from the last couple weeks :3

#omg rain omg #other people's art #sky: children of the light #rain elder #sunset elders #storm elder #dawn elder

[abyssal-debonair]

some loser: humans are innately selfish creatures

my psych book:

#humans

[abyssal-debonair]

rip to all the “fuckyeah___” blogs that carried our society at one point </3

#lol #wtf tumblr

[abyssal-debonair]

#lol #tweets #religion

[abyssal-debonair]

I hate Sah’s hair when viewed from the right it’s so fucking ulgy

#lol #WHEEZE #sky: children of the light #sunset elders #other people's art

[abyssal-debonair]

sorry this is dumb

#lol #steven universe #other people's art

[abyssal-debonair]

sorry i threatened to eat you i was trying to flirt

#idk i think this is me i think this is funny

[abyssal-debonair]

Please don't forget Armenians

Today is Armenian genocide remembrance day. On april 24, 1915 started mass deportations of hundreds of Armenian intelectuals and community leaders, who were (most of the time) eventually killed. Armenian women and children were systematically r//ed and forcibly converted into islam. There were more than 2 milion Armenians in ottoman empire prior to ww1, 1,5 milion of them were viciously killed. Three millennia of Armenian civilaziation in eastern Anatolis was fully destroyed. Turkey today refuses to acknowledge genocides of christian minorities in early 20th century.

Do you know that mass ethnic cleansing of Armenians in ottoman empire inspired Lemkin to coin the term 'genocide'?

Last year in september azerbaijan allied with turkey initiated a war against Armenia. More that 5000 Armenians were murdered, thousands of Armenia families had to live their ancestrial land to not get murdered. There are hundreds of vids on internet where armenian p.o.w.s are tortured. Recently azerbaijan opened a "museum" displayind dead or dying Armenians and kids were allowed to visit it.

Please educate yourself on Armenian genocide. You can also donate here to help Armenia. Thanks for reading!!

#armenia #tw rape #tw racism

[abyssal-debonair]

Is it weird that I want the holding cell flat? I wanna put my friends in there and give them puzzles to solve to be let out 🥰🫶

#lol #wtf tumblr

[abyssal-debonair]

i <3 spicy kitties

#other people's art #pixel art #cats

[abyssal-debonair]

ok i know i hate discourse. but.

terfs are so obsessed with the idea that “the left” doesnt care about women they’ll literally day “including trans men, a group who is literally a victim of roe v wade and has high rates of sexual assault/forced pregnancy, in our activism is so threatening to me that i’ll make up a scenario where trans men are erasing womanhood”

#tw transphobia #tw sexism #queer #trans #feminism #transandrophobia #bodily autonomy #reproductive justice