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How to change (for real this time)

The problem w/ most people is they read all those self-help books, advice but never end up applying them irl. They think "oh maybe it helped her but situation is completely diff from hers, more complicated. . . " stop. You can change literally anything by changing your mindset.

#1 90% of life is confidence, said a wise person. If you don't believe you can change, who will? I know this one girl who was desperate to change, she used to pester me for advice all the time and initially I did try to help her. But she always ended up back at square one. I'm not her therapist to hear her complain about her pathetic life 24x7 and remind her everyday that she decided to change and to live up to it. I slowly retracted back from her. People like that drain your energy. And she still hasn't changed. Why? She kept going back to things she said she never would associate herself with again. The same people, situations, scenarios that screwed her up over and over again. She's the human representation of "victim mindset." Don't be like her. Seriously, don't try to hate the game, learn to play it.

#2 Stop w/ the self deprecating humor. It ain't hot at all. It makes you look like you lack basic self-respect. If someone's making a joke on you, you should stand up for yourself not you bullying yourself. Build a really deep relationship w/ yourself. No matter what anyone says you should never stop loving yourself. Someone says you're ugly, you shouldn't go ab your day musing upon that and letting it mess w/ you. You need to be cold to be queen. So don't let your emotions get in your way of self development.

#3 Nothing is impossible. Don't constantly affirm that it's so hard, you could never do it cuz it is gonna manifest. Even if it looks impossible to you, be delulu. Act like you have it or at least do the bare minimum of believing that you'll get there. Do your shadow work. It's where you shamelessly admit things to yourself and work on identifying the problem, how to cope w/ it and how to put it in practice. Be 100% honest w/ yourself.

#4 Dissociate yourself from all the things that remind you of the old you (if possible). It will be a wee bit difficult in the beginning but don't beat yourself up over it. You'll slowly get there don't worry, you learn from experience. Never blame yourself or beat yourself up if you do mess up. Course you should be accountable but don't self sabotage yourself. You need yourself in situations like that.

#5 Don't centre yourself around guys, or anyone else. This is your life. It should be around you. When you start having crushes or "sp" you put them on the pedestal. You seek their validation. So why would you do smth so heinous as such?

#6 Take inspo from characters you like. Embody them. Give a name to your alter ego. Act like her. Go on Pinterest and write down some self obsessed quotes and preach them everyday (not 2 much tho!)

#7 Protect your energy. You ain't anyone's therapist. You have no time for ppl's stupid drama. It's your life and it's on you to live upto it's fullest. Be extra, do what you love, what makes you happy. Celebrate your existence.

#level up #game changer #slay girlboss #high value woman #high maintenance #it girl #self help #boundaries #that girl #feminine energy

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How to be a queen

#1 Stop being desperate. Stop acting like you can't live w/o that person in your life. Stop being desperate for people to notice you. Stop seeking external validation. There's nothing wrong w/ wanting compliments but desperate for compliments from others? We don't do that here.

How do I fix that, you ask? Shower yourself all the compliments you'd wanna hear from others.

#2 Stop toning down your character for humbling others. It doesn't mean you meet a person for the first time and be like look at my superiority complex but know your worth. You don't have to prove it anyone. You let people know your worth thru your daily actions. The way your carry yourself, the way you express yourself. Okay you might be wrong so what? The people who laugh at you for being wrong don't even have the guts to voice their opinion.

#3 Build your character. Write down your moral code and the things you stand for. Nothing is powerful than you knowing yourself. Be a baddie, voice your opinions all that but don't be a menace. Being mannerless isn't hot.

#4 Be assertive about your boundaries. Don't be like 'i'll give them a second chance and then I'll tell them. . .' No. Once a cheater, always a cheater. They cross your boundaries once, might do it again. So let them know and don't be afraid if they walk away from your life. It ain't your fault they chose trash over Gold.

#5 Thoughts -> Choices -> Behaviours -> Change. Revamp your self concept first. Once you change your thoughts everything will shift. If you keep thinking those same outdated, mediocre thoughts you're life will stay the same. People have healed themselves of deadly diseases by changing their thoughts.

#6 Prioritize your goals. Never change your work schedule for the sake of some person, especially a guy. Stop having all these crushes, it's literally embarrassing. Stop putting other people on the pedestal! You are the main character.

#7 Stop being so invested in other people's lives. Have conversations w/ yourself instead. What they do is none of your business.

#high value woman #feminine energy #it girl #self help #slay girlboss #queen #high maintenance #that girl #boundaries #level up

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HOW TO GET THAT VOICE OUTTA YOUR HEAD

You know why you can't change? Do you know why your life is miserable? Why you always compare yourself? It's just that one voice at the back of your head that's holding you back. How do I stop that you ask?

#1 That voice is shaped based on your external circumstances. The people you interact with, the kind of content you consume and even the songs you listen to. So start off by making changes in these key areas.

#2 You think I don't want to compare myself with others, I don't want to be such a pickle minded person but that voice does exactly that. It's almost as if on instinct. So let's gaslight it. Pretend like you never heard that thought. Do not react.

#3 That voice will pick apart every single thing you do and categorise it as cringe, embarrassing, etc. It will make a big deal out of little mistakes. Therefore you should cultivate self-love in a way that nothing can make you feel less worthy.

#4 Stop being a doormat and submissive. You don't have to be nice to every Tom, Dick and Harry. You should know your worth and then add tax. Only you are important to yourself. What others do with their lives is none of your business.

#5 Remember there's a fine line between confidence and overconfidence. Confidence is knowing you did your part, and therefore you will win. Overconfidence is knowing that you did absolutely nothing that by daydreaming about getting success will make you win. Yes you have to visualize but also you should do your part responsibly.

#6 Stop thinking like a worker. You are the boss. Make people and things work for you. You don't have to work hard until you tire yourself to get successful. Work smart. Be creative and innovative. Do things in your own way. Be revolutionary.

#7 Be delulu. Think that everything is about you. You are the main character. Anything in your life can be changed just by changing your mindset. Manipulate that voice and evolve it into something that will help you.

#confidence #high value woman #feminine energy #high maintenance #self help #that girl #it girl #slay girlboss #level up

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The new era of radiating in your being. 

To radiate in your being is to let go of this idea that you have to do something to be someone. Now this concept goes against much of my previous writing, but life is evolving and after a lifetime of striving and chasing to be better, one has to stop and ask, what is this for, and who? That hunger for more, to be better, to look a certain way, to have your IG photos and content looking ‘perfect’ is likely from a place of lack, and at some point you may realise what was behind it all? Was it to be accepted? Was it to feel like somebody? Because the truth is, you are the OCEAN. That powerful, that radiant, that enigmatic, that soft, yet wild. And just flowing in your raw unfiltered energy is your superpower. There is absolutely no one in this world quite like you, who thinks like you, who has the heart you have, who does those beautiful little things you do for others that no one sees. The way you smile, the sound of your voice, the way you blush, your personal style. You are completely perfect and unique and its time to own this extraordinary gift that is YOU. 

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Skin care 101

Know that you don't need a 10-step, expensive skincare routine for a good skin. But, you can do the bare minimum like--

#1 Stop touching your face. I don't get why people complain about acne and skin problems when they keep picking on their face, rubbing their nasty hands all over their face.

#2 Wash your face if you get sweaty. Don't wipe it with napkins/hand kerchiefs.

#3 Never pop/pick on your pimples. And there's nothing to hide either.

#4 Stay hydrated! Don't overdo it though. Drink a litre of water (on an empty stomach) right after you wake up. Your blood will actually be filtered by your kidneys more efficiently because it's more diluted. Then drink water as per your requirement in small instalments throughout the day. And after you come back from school/work drink a litre again. Do not over do it-- people have actually died. Never restrain from using the rest room.

#5 Off topic but never drink water right after your meal. Your stomach's pH value will be lowered and leads to indigestion.

#6 Consult a dermatologist. Don't self diagnose by these home-made DIY creams, face packs etc.

#6 Exfoliate 2x a week. You can take a handful of sugar and rub it along w/ your soap on your body.

#7 Invest in a gua sha tool if you can or just do face massage w/ your hands. It really works !

#8 Ain't nothing beats a good diet. Eat them fruits and veggies. I fixed my diet and it fixed everything in my life, not even kidding.

#skincare #health #it girl #hygiene #that girl #slay girlboss #self care routine #high value woman #high maintenance #self help

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Fixing relationship w/ yourself + confidence

#1 You should never try to build your confidence on constantly changing things (appearance, money, success). You shouldn't be like I woke up today and decided I look fine as hell so I get to be confident today. Maybe a few days later you might not look the same and that shouldn't damage the confidence you've built. You should love yourself even at your rock bottom-est bottom.

#2 Stop making other people in your life the main characters. Since you're constantly thinking of them you're manifesting good things for them, not yourself. You are the main character, everything is about YOU.

#3 Never try to downplay yourself for the sake of humbling others. If they think you're cocky, rude-- let them. Who cares? The only thing that should matter is you.

#4 Don't think you're better than people (you are, though). You should strive to be better than yesterday's you. Think positive, don't be a pessimist. You'll attract more negative things into your life.

#5 Cut toxic people off. You don't owe them anything. You don't need them either. They bring themselves down and you too.

At the end of the day, you only have yourself. Treat yourself right and watch things change for the best. 🤍

#high maintenance #feminine energy #self help #high value woman #it girl #that girl #boundaries #loveyourself #slay girlboss

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How to set up healthy boundaries

#1 First and foremost, do not cross other people's boundaries. If you do that, they'll probably think, 'oh she crossed my boundaries, maybe I can cross hers too.'

#2 Speak up. If someone's making a joke about you, or tryna mock you be like 'What? I didn't get you.' If they do repeat it, go like 'You Are Not To Talk To Me Like That Ever Again.' They don't owe you anything sis.

#3 Off topic but many people get being mysterious and being secretive mixed. Yes don't tell people your personal business, your goals all that but don't be secretive like you're hiding something. Quit that pickle minded thinking cuz you'll only become anti social.

#4 No reaction. You know what fuels all the attention seeking people? The attention, obviously. Do not give them that. Be like, "who's that? I don't even know them." What they do is none of your business. Do not gossip. Snitches get stitches !

#5 Be assertive about what you want. If people think you're crazy for liking what you like, it's not your problem. Be unapologetically you.

#6 Incase you're struggling with voicing your opinion or speaking up-- say to yourself I got nothing to lose. Whatever happens, happens.

#that girl #it girl #boundaries #high value woman #feminine energy #high maintenance #self help #badass

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How to stop feeling miserable (PT1)

#1 Stop the self-pity party. You being in a victim mindset makes you attract more scenarios that make you feel like a victim. Believe that you're the main character who gets whatever you want instantly and everything revolves around them, cuz it does 💅

#2 Quit social media. It is the best favor you'll ever do to yourself. Once you do that, you'll realize how much of quality time you can actually spend w/ urself. And before you start w/ 'oh but it's so hard,,,' it literally is not. Start reading anything knowledgeable, or watch self help videos etc. It's better than scrolling.

#3 Don't be desperate for men. Decentering men = loving yourself. Men are all in for watching women end up against each other-- we are not to let that happen. Do you realize how embarrassing the words 'crush, situationship, specific person' sound? Cuz if not, then it should. Focus on yourself for once.

#4 Procastination isn't real. People who really respect themselves don't punish themselves by wasting their time giving excuses like "just one more episode, I'll do it when the when time is x'O clock" stop settling for mediocrity. First get that work done, then you can rest peacefully.

#5 Sleep. Experiment and find out the time window where you can sleep and feel rejuvenated when you wake up. Don't stay up after 11pm. Wake up early. You'll feel like you have all the time in the world.

Note: These are only basic habits that help you get out of a rut, at least to some extent. Do these everyday and you'll thank me later.

#high value woman #self help #habits #feminine energy #high maintenance #love yourself #feminism #it girl