zeycan-rochelle-blog-blog

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Gospel calms the Spirit

I felt so upset, saddened and frustrated today and as I kept singing "Break every chain" in my head, I knew I had to turn to gospel music. I typed gospel music into YouTube and one of the first songs to appear was the very song I had stuck all along, though I had never listened to it on YouTube before. I felt it was a sign. Watching the 38 minute Clip restored my faith so much. I truly felt every chain holding me in bondage was released. Matter of fact, it made me realize they had fell off long ago but I was so blinded by fear that it was me chaining myself. I refused to trust God with my situation though he said he had it all worked out, I felt because I couldn't see him work, that he wasn't. Faith is knowing His word to be true and trusting him despite what you see around you. It felt so good to sing, I never sing because I know my voice cracks but for once, I didn't care. I sang my heart out with my cracked voice and it felt good to live by my own terms. When you're comfortable with yourself, nothing said can destroy you... One of the things that kept me in bondage: others' opinions. Now they mean nothing, if people want to think I'm silly, stuckup, weird or whatever, okay... That doesn't define who I am nor will it change who I am. It felt good to release fear and live for myself, I even jumped on my bed to have fun and do whatever I please. Life passes too quickly to not live how you wish. Living in bondage not only robs you of your joy, it robs you of your time, something you can never get back.

#gospel #fear #bondage #free

[zeycan-rochelle-blog-blog]

Absolutely! Let him work it out

[zeycan-rochelle-blog-blog]

I live a really lonely life, I don't think anyone understands and very few people will, many think they would but until you've had the exact same circumstances I've had, you won't and I don't like explaining but it really bothers me. Life feels really empty when you cant genuinely express yourself to anyone. There's so many jealous women although friends, and almost every guy friend likes me. My whole life I wished for a friend exactly like me but I have yet to meet that person. Life feels sad to live when you're so alone, and so much hate is directed towards you, I know the isolation has a bigger purpose that will eventually bring happiness but in the meantime I'm just waiting for more truly happier days than sad. My main goal in life is to just be happy, truly happy even if that means living on an island selling mangos.

[zeycan-rochelle-blog-blog]

I Missed Blogging

It's been so long since I've written here, and honestly I've missed it so much. Several nights I told myself, let's blog tonight, let's write our soul out but i've been far too lay to fetch my laptop I hardly use and blogging via an iPad just doesn't feel the same. There's something therapeutic about tapping your fingertips against a keyboard, etching your thoughts in one button at a time.. up and down, up and down, you make the keyboard work for your thoughts, you put true power in what you want to say.

Lately it's really been in me to write a book, I have several book ideas in mind but I'm not sure if now is the time to put any into works. So badly I want to find my niche, make my own name and income but I know nothing good comes from that which is rushed. I'll make my name when it's time because the name will come about itself. That's the beauty of life, you can't rush God's timing. You can do everything in your power and get nowhere, then you can do nothing and see everything has come to you. God's grace is amazing. 

Life is frustrating but it makes the ride so worthwhile, never knowing what to expect next. 

#life #blogging

[zeycan-rochelle-blog-blog]

Knight in shining armor was here!

just watch the video you post about mothers and their children. very impactful. you certainly are going to have both a successful career and a very happy family. Promise straight from my heart Princess. You’re the awesomest :-)

- I'm praying that it happens :) A true dream come true

[zeycan-rochelle-blog-blog]

In love with my second degree: Merchandising Product Development. This feels so right, like it has heaven's approval all over it, like the Angels personally flew me to their city of Los Angeles to be here at this very moment and take these classes to fulfill my destiny. I'm 100% sure of how right this & 100% infatuated with my calling.

[zeycan-rochelle-blog-blog]

I'm not sure what to write about, I just feel like writing. I guess the most recent thing is my move, which feels so right! I know I'm meant to be in California at the moment, there's no other city I could be in right now and feel so happy living. It's just amazing, the sunny weather, the friendly and down to earth people, the business work ethic and love for fashion, my beautiful apartment, everything is working in my favor to keep me happy, it's incredible, I love this. I love feeling so at peace, calm, collected and motivated. I do miss having the luxury of calling up my friends and going to my favorite places back in Atlanta but not to the point where it saddens me. The true people always stay in your life no matter what. The people who really love you and are down for you, won't let the idea of not seeing you constantly, keep them away and out of reach for conversation. Distance is the truest test of genuine character and love, for what is real will last. I guess that goes to my next point, the one I love, could timing be so cruel to tear me from my heart and make me choose from guaranteeing a good life but not a relationship with the one my heart so desires. I don't know. I believe everything happens for a reason, I believe God planned our lives so perfectly for the absolute best for us, long before we came to reality, I believe what's meant to be will be. It just hurts that one of my biggest fears came to pass, having to choose between love and a career, and as bad as I hate having to make that choice, I know it will constantly repeat itself in life until it's meant to be, for when it's meant for you, nothing can block it. Just a little sad that I left without an explanation of the situation or how I felt, will I regret it, most probably but one thing I'm good at is ignoring and moving on so coldly as if something never existed. Not that it's a proud fact to run away without confronting but it's been the defense mechanism I naturally picked up over the years of being hurt, perhaps I should get used to this trend of choosing between the two most important things to me, you can't have it all, just the balance of the two you choose.

[zeycan-rochelle-blog-blog]

Going through old posts in my phone and I came across an old voice memo, I listened to it and was in awe. That day I had said something, and a year EXACTLY to that date, what I wanted happened. It is amazing what a whole year can do, how much can change... Simple moral here is: Never Settle. 

Know your worth and be patient, in time, what you wish to attract will, if your actions are coherent. 

[zeycan-rochelle-blog-blog]

I Love You.

I'd love to kiss you

And intoxicate myself with your breath,

Let our tongues intertwine

To open up the doorway of our soul,

I want to reach deep within

And inhale the sweetness of your love

Below and above.

I want you

Simply because,

Having you inside,

Means that I'm complete

And we are one.

#love #poem #poetry #kiss #complete

[zeycan-rochelle-blog-blog]

This video made me cry so much, since I was a baby I have loved babies and tried to nurture them. Hearing the reactions of these children and their words to Mommy touched me to the core, I cannot wait for my day to come where my mini-me to come to life. So many times I have battled with the idea of a career vs family but hopefully I'll be strong enough to be successful in both.

#mommy #love

[zeycan-rochelle-blog-blog]

- @zeyrochelle Being the best requires sacrifice & true belief in your vision, skill & talent. You have to be ready to take criticism like it's you against the world, war mode, because until bring it to pass, many will doubt you & say it's impossible. Carry on with you dreams like you're blind to the norms & deaf to the hate.

[zeycan-rochelle-blog-blog]

Friendship sees nothing but the soul. Love humankind for we are all one and we all are the same. Everybody needs compassion and to know there's others out there who truly care. Be a #blessing to others today and watch how good it makes you feel inside. There is nothing like the feeling you get when one allows their vulnerability to show and they open up to you with trust & care.

#blessing

[zeycan-rochelle-blog-blog]

(1st Birthday) As my favorite day of the entire year, my Birthday is a HUGE deal to me. In my culture, you're showered w/gifts & sweet messages over and over and it is a big but Also because its the one day of the year I celebrate my being. It may sound a bit conceited, but I work hard day in and day out on my character trying to be the best person I can be, trying to not let negativity consume me or not snap when I get mad, but continually pray for all those who hurt me. It's so hard resisting & staying positive on top of constantly striving to produce your best work in all areas of life. Today I celebrate all of my accomplishments & hard work in one. I don't believe in buying myself birthday presents because I constantly buy whatever whenever, so instead I believe in experiences. Each sweet birthday message I receive touches me in a different way & gives me a profound appreciation for the ones I have in my life. My absolute BIGGEST desire in this world is to touch others & inspire & hearing all the birthday praises and messages makes me feel like I've accomplished my biggest goal. This is why this day is so special to me. I'm a firm believer in celebrating life and ceasing more than to just exist, but to actually live a full life where others is first priority. Thank you all for your beautiful words & gifts 💛💜💙

[zeycan-rochelle-blog-blog]

(1st Birthday) As my favorite day of the entire year, my Birthday is a HUGE deal to me. Probably because in my culture, you're showered with gifts and sweet messages over and over and it is a big deal to us all but Also because its the one day of the year I celebrate my being. It may sound a bit conceited, but I work so hard day in and day out on my character trying to be the best person I can be, trying to not let negativity consume me or not snap when I get mad, but continually pray for all those who hurt me. It's so hard resisting and staying positive on top of constantly striving to produce your best work in every area of your life. I get to celebrate all of my accomplishments and hard work in one. I don't believe in buying myself birthday presents because they hold no meaning when I always buy everything I want, so instead I believe in experiences. Each sweet birthday message I receive touches me in a different way and gives me a profound appreciation for the ones I choose to have in my life. My absolute BIGGEST desire in this world is to touch others and inspire and hearing all the birthday praises and messages makes me feel like I've accomplished my biggest goal. This is why this day is so special to me. I'm a firm believer in celebrating life and ceasing more than to just exist, but to actually live a full life where others is your first priority. Thank you all for your beautiful words & gifts 💛💜💙

[zeycan-rochelle-blog-blog]

How You See You (rhyming thoughts on spot, yes created in the IG box... Lol) Each body has its art. From beginning and start to finish & you part, you live with yourself, and what's truly in your heart. You focus on what is, and do better to make dreams come a true but the most important thing is how you really see You. We live in a world of mindless opinions, where most follow norms, though created by minions, we live to be accepted, and in the mainstream of cool, but what is truly most important, is how you see You.

[zeycan-rochelle-blog-blog]

I feel like my calm after the storm has arrived ... Sure I am a bit stressed out and know I have a lot of work to get done, and a lot of serious decisions to make, but everything I have wanted out of life from a young age will be determined within this month's time. It is so crazy to believe how years and years and years of waiting can lie in the power of one month. I am so anxious and nervous, scared and deliberate, terrified yet excited ... The commitment phobe in me wants to run away from anything emotional, stressful, and chance of failure, but one thing I promised myself if... I will always give everything a try no matter how scared I am. Praying for the best in all I've ever wanted. I'm happy because as turbulent as the waves are in my mind, I know it is all smooth sailing from here.

[zeycan-rochelle-blog-blog]

Life is but a Dream... ?

I haven't blogged in so long so I just want to write, about what? I don't know, I just know my fingers miss tapping the keyboard in ways to express my soul. I miss finding ways to say things artistically, I miss pouring my heart out through text and others seeing, reading and understanding a little part of me. The joy writing brings me is so whimsical. It makes me feel so alive and appreciated, and ironically, in the past month, many have been praising my writing style saying I MUST write something to publish...

Of course growing up, an author was a dream occupation of mine, now fashion has taken over every breath, every cell of me to the point where I am not even myself, I am only myself by fashion.

Still, I do want to publish poems or a book or incorporate writing somehow into my future, to tell my story through my emotions rather than facts. I have so much I want to do in life, I just pray I have enough time to do it all. I have not even showcased my designs yet still I am extremely busy, and then I just think to how busy I will actually be once I am building up a brand, start climbing my way up, make it to the top then work even harder to stay there... This all takes time and effort, sacrifices of a life... I feel like I'll forever be busy, which worries me because I actually want a family now and to be a good mother, wife and friend.

Do you work your hardest to live your dream knowing it will be just you and your work, or do you settle for less knowing you'll be happy and loved by genuine people around since you have time to spare for them? 

I'm at a crossroad in life and I'm trying to find my path to happiness, to reach my maximum potential without going crazy, mad and lonely, everything is a blur in my mind, so frustrated and confused... I'm thinking ... Do I even take that first step towards my dream, or do I settle to fulfill my emotional wants, and needs.