xovampirerats

[xovampirerats]

Unrequited.

He was everything I wanted, and everything I couldn't have.

Beautiful, His mind sharp as flint, Skin soft and smooth as his voice; a voice which, undoubtedly, Carried a comfortable lilt that burrowed under my skin, Buried itself into the depths of my very being. He knows things, and knows this -- His knowledge is likely what feeds his spark, The one flickering behind those bleach-blue eyes, And when it flickers into view I am instantaneously, Completely and unequivocally and utterly- Mesmerized. Fingertips shaped by soft pads, So different from the callouses of my own; If I could, I'd take his hands in mine, Trace his veins like rivers on a treasure map, Flowing with liquid gold, except infinitely more precious Purely because it belongs to him and him only, His very life contained between the river banks; Press my thumb into the curve of his palm, And feel his gentle fingers curl around mine, Cradling, caressing, caring, And if I could, I'd pull him towards me, closer, closer, Breathe him in, kiss his lips, and say: "If there is a God, He exists only for you. You are more than any higher power is worth, love, For you are the universe itself, and God a mere star Somewhere within its depths. You are everything." For I love him with every fibre of my being -- No, with all the energy that holds my atoms together, I love him.

He was everything.

He was everything I wanted, and everything I'll never have.

-xovampirerats

24/03/23

#poetry #poems #xovampirerats #unrequited love #love poetry #pining #in my sad romantic poet era #poetry community

[xovampirerats]

never truly alone (in the worst possible way)

and even now,

alone?

i'm restrained by the towering expectations

of the people i love, but who leave me

stained. stained by the glass windows

that divide us in a way i never grew to like,

in a way that leaves them watching and me hanging

on the edge of my anticipation, and

so, knowingly unable to free my heart

onto the page, i tend to stick

to the rhythm, and the rhyme

make sure i don't waste my time

fighting with the foreshadowed views over my shoulder.

and maybe then i'll filter my output more,

drench it, clean it, bleach it, kill it, then sing

so that my initial rawness won't ever reach

the crystaline ears of another being. that is,

except those who watched from the walls,

not the windows, but the plaster; i mean

the ones who were here in spirit,

who felt my pain as their own,

like some kind of sick cult from the films -

only those spirits know the pain, and

only the phantoms call my true name,

therefore would it be ignorance to call myself entirely alone?

would it be a lie if i told you only i know myself?

these are the questions that will never reach the page i wave like my sunny flags.

one day, perhaps, this ugly goose of a piece

may find its way out of the shadows of my room

and before the eyes and ears of my peers. but

for now i'll leave an aftertaste of ink with this inkling of my fears:

we are never truly alone (in the worst possible way).

-xovampirerats

07/03/23

#poetrycommunity #poetry #poems #never truly alone amiright #xovampirerats

[xovampirerats]

hi!

i'm not new to tumblr, but I'm new to this blog. this is where i'll be posting my poetry :)

i've been expressing myself through various art forms all my life, but i've never shared this one. thought i might as well give this a go <333

considering the way it's a coping mechanism, some of the subject matter in my poems might be quite dark. please be careful & check any warnings i put on my writing -- take care of yourself, most importantly.

with that said, please feel welcomed here. i promise i don't bite, come say hi if you like!! i hope i find my people here to come with me on this little journey :)

-xovampirerats

07/03/23

#poetry #poems #poetrycommunity #introduction #blog intro #can't believe i'm finally starting a poetry blog #enjoy!! #xovampirerats