valeredeo

[valeredeo]

bitches be like “im baby” and push their responsibilities and stress onto someone else

#val discovers thoughts #im baby #shitpost #mood

[valeredeo]

extremely cursed quiz.

in a murder investigation, who are you? the killer? the witness? the detective? with a heavy dose of vibes assigned. i’ll reblog with a link in case it doesn’t work.

#the vengeful ex #somehow the violence in the character is a sad one for me #sad violence #a lost mind and enraged without thinking #thanks for that secret part #it helped a little #thanks op #love you

[valeredeo]

Yo, I was listening to GRLwood

Straight up bopping

Then “I’m yer dad” comes on and-

It got me feeling some kind of way, a nsfw kinda way

Not that I was suddenly horny but like- it made me realize that I might... might like it if a pretty grunge girl (which is any of them) called me daddy.... oop

Like I know it’s a song about misogyny and stuff but like.... pretty girls make my knees weak

#grlwood #rej forester #karen ledford #scream pop #music #im yer dad #nsfw #mild nsfw #val discovers thoughts

[valeredeo]

if you passionately defended "ugly" or "scary" animals as a kid you're gay now

#stolen from twitter #twitter #in theory i love them and will defend them with all my heart #in practice im an absolute coward

[valeredeo]

ahaha, imagine waking up and i was beside you, and then you get up to go get ready but as you reached for the door know you lost vision and balance and started to uncontrollably shake making a loud rattling that then wakes me up so I go up to you and knock you unconscious so you stop shaking, *bites lip* ahaha.. but baby girl this don’t have to just be your imagination 👀

Damn baby that iron defiencincy looks so sexy on you… hey wake up

#iron deficiency #fuckboy #ahaha #fuccboi #imagine #totally not something that happened to me #but is this actually iron deficiency? #like is this experience related to iron deficiency symptoms #or does this hypothetical person have sometjibg ekse? #please help

[valeredeo]

icon

what if I made my final project for a college class arguing my immortal’s cultural merit as a piece of digital folklore… haha just kidding… unless???

[valeredeo]

What’s he doing double cheeked up on a Thursday afternoon? Sun is still out, hella ass

#stolen from twitter #twitter #sheep #double cheeked up #dummy thicc

[valeredeo]

They may be bald on the head, but bangs can grow elsewhere. I present to you the ultimate seer: Baldman Pubicbangs. Trusted by all since their first hair sprouted.

#stolen from twitter #twitter #tweets #bangs #planets #seer #shit post

[valeredeo]

once I put your scrumdiddlyumptipus cute self in my mouth

#mmm

[valeredeo]

BEHOLD A MAN

On the one hand, gender is bullshit; on the other hand, referring to inanimate objects as men is objectively hilarious.

#behold a man #sexy man #sexy male #shrexy #kirby #shrek #not oc

[valeredeo]

me tomorrow

#but it was me dio

[valeredeo]

straw, but it only makes recorder sounds when you suck in

you can bend it, but you won’t be able to drink out of it when you do

#straw #save the animals #saveourplanet #recorder #shitpost #shit post #straw idea #random thoughts #bendy straw #val discovers thoughts

[valeredeo]

chair that forces you to Slav squat

#slav squat #slav #shitty innovation idea #shitty innovation #shit post #innovation #chair #chair mods #shitty chair mods #val discovers thoughts

[valeredeo]

Whaddup, it’s the Easter Bounty Hunter and I’m here to find you, and you, and you, and you, and all you bad eggs

Come out of hiding, cowards, y’all starting to stink

#self reblogging

[valeredeo]

You find an egg after a long day of searching, “Finally,” you think, “I finally have it.” As you hold the egg covered in brightly coloured foil, you lick your lips, eager for the sweet chocolate. As you unwrap it you bring it closer to your lips, it’s cold. You hear a rustle in the bushes behind you, it’s him. Quickly, before he can stop you, you shove the egg into your mouth and hide behind a hydrangea shrub. Peeking out, keeping and eye out for him. The shrub was your mistake, those weren’t white flowers but his fur. He turns around and I’m panic you bite the egg.

It isn’t chocolate.

Out your mouth spills, not yolk, but billions of small white skittering creatures. His children. That was no egg, but an egg sack.

#self reblogging #bc #yes

[valeredeo]

ngl... red blood cells are kinda cute

I wanna squish ‘em, they look so soft, and put them in my mouth just because

but alas... microscopic :(

like, look at these cute lads and tell me they aren’t cute

but.. you’re only saying that because I told you to... so it’s not really what you think, right?

they are cute, 100%

#self reblogging #bc why tf not

[valeredeo]

amab? afab? nah, I’m abab, assigned bastard at birth

#self reblogging #bc why tf not